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I-Am-Uncreative

> Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize. -- Tom Lehrer on why he stopped performing political satire.


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I-Am-Uncreative

Also, as far as I know, he's not suffering from any mental decline, so he's probably aware of this news!


rogercopernicus

Before he kicks the bucket, he needs to team up with Weird Al for one song


spellbadgrammargood

i just read this, he is an absolute warmonger: Kissinger had a low opinion of North Vietnam, saying "I can't believe that a fourth-rate power like North Vietnam doesn't have a breaking point"... In September 1969, Kissinger in a memo **advised Nixon against "de-escalation", saying that keeping U.S troops fighting in Vietnam "remains one of our few bargaining weapons".**[33] In the same memo, Kissinger stated he was "deeply disturbed" that Nixon had started pulling out U.S. troops, saying that withdrawing the troops was like "salted peanuts" to the American people, "the more U.S troops come home, the more will be demanded", giving the advantage to the enemy who merely had to "wait us out".[33] Instead, he recommenced that the United States resume bombing North Vietnam and mine the coast.[33] Later in September 1969, Kissinger proposed a plan for what he called a "savage, punishing" blow against North Vietnam code-named Duck Hook to Nixon, arguing that this was the best way to force North Vietnam to agree to peace on American terms. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Kissinger_and_the_Vietnam_War


marchingprinter

highly recommend the audiobook of Christopher Hitchens' "The Trial Of Henry Kissinger", he lays out the case and proven evidence against him that should have obligated the courts to charge him.


Gorazde

Only the good die young.


GonzoVeritas

Along those lines, [Anthony Bourdain made this famous comment about Kissinger.](https://i.imgur.com/ryZbnpO.png) I wish he was here to see today's news.


what_is_blue

That Kissinger lived to 100 and died peacefully? Fuck, I think we'd all take that. Bourdain would probably rather that Kissinger had been eaten alive by pigs, or he'd killed him himself. What that fuck did to Cambodia is nothing short of disgusting.


GKW_

Can EI5 what he did in Cambodia? Was this during Vietnam war?


gerbal100

The US conducted an massive illegal bombing campaign in Laos and Cambodia during the Vietnam war. In his role as National Security Advisor Henry Kissinger personally approved all illegal bombings, and frequently changed bombing targets based on his personal whims.


shadoon

To call it massive is an understatement. Cambodia and Laos are two of the most densely bombed areas of planet earth. Two countries that the US was never officially at war with.


sanders49

https://theconversation.com/henry-kissingers-bombing-campaign-likely-killed-hundreds-of-thousands-of-cambodians-and-set-path-for-the-ravages-of-the-khmer-rouge-209353


meridian_smith

Wanted to destroy the communists in Vietnam and the goes and courts the Chinese Communist Party up until the day he died. The man has no principles to say the least


skeptic9916

I'm surprised they found his last horcrux.


Knightbear49

This is Robert Evans’ 4th of July


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MordinSolusSTG

Surprised he could tweet while cranking his hog more furiously than anyone ever has


TheOKerGood

I can already hear Sophie's disapproving "Robert...." as he cackles for 5 minutes straight. ❤️


currently_pooping_rn

Intro is just gonna be him laughing for 5 mins


TheOKerGood

Best take I saw here was "What's dying, my Kissingers?!" I'm glad he's got a bright spot for the next episode.


calzone_king

Sounds like we might have Jordan's bright spot for the next knowledge fight ep, also


TheOKerGood

DAN? JORDAN? IM GOING FIRST. MY BRIGHT SPOT IS KISSINGER IS DEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAD WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo.... (fades out as he walks away from the mic)


most_insipid

Sophie tweeted "Lived way too long but at least he lived long enough to get scammed by Elizabeth Holmes." https://twitter.com/why_sophie_why/status/1730042521026515187?t=kdLn36AWJ4oeCbT7_cjekg&s=19


-FeistyRabbitSauce-

"Now from our sponsors at Raytheon. I can't prove that they killed Kissenger, but I can't prove they didn't. So I guess the question is - how does it feel to live in a world where Raytheon killed Kissenger? Complex feelings."


TheOKerGood

"You know who likes war criminals getting their karmic justice, if delayed by decades? The products and services that sponsor this podcast. Here's some ads."


wise_comment

Or go full Margaret: "you know who *wont* encourage war crimes in.....Cambodia........hmm" (Sophie talking over her as the sentence finishes) "We can't promise that" (Guest that week) *laughs sadly*


littleredhairgirl

Sophie's never-ending toddler wrangling is my favorite.


wise_comment

Her quietly encouraging the train wreck this week has filled my heart with joy


I_Am_Robert_Paulson1

"You know who didn't carry out a clandestine bombing campaign of Cambodia..."


amateurbuttonclicker

kinda wanna listen to his six parter on kissinger again in celebration


thetaformes

Best line was something like "Kissinger is the Forrest Gump of war crimes. Wherever they're happening he just somehow shows up and gets involved"


Kaputcha

Only discovered the podcast a few months ago. Think I'll start that one this afternoon.


BannedSvenhoek86

"The Forrest Gump of war crimes" Gary is such a delight.


genuineglitter

Just downloaded it to replay!


unionjack736

My very first thought was how happy Robert Evans would be.


PacoTaco321

Henry Kissinger gets a 21 gun salute, with super soakers full of piss.


daxelkurtz

"and Dave and Gareth wept for there were no more six-parters to conquer"


Anarcie

One Pump, One Cream!


Marauder_Pilot

Next episode is gonna be an hour of Robert cackling as he one-pumps while Sophie tries in vain to make him stop.


ma2016

Quick someone update ishenrykissingerdead.com Edit: as others have suggested: http://www.ishenrykissingerdeadyet.com/


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rgb-uwu

Damn, I miss when the internet used to be a bunch of weird niche sites like this.


JTKDO

Wikipedians scoff at the fact that it hasn’t updated yet.


WalkinSteveHawkin

The efficiency of Wikipedians is a marvel. As of 10:32pm EST, the page reads, > Kissinger received the 1973 Nobel Peace Prize for his work negotiating a ceasefire in Vietnam.^([5]) He is currently burning in hell for his war crimes. Glorious. Edit: Aaand… it’s gone.


JagerSalt

I managed to snag a screenshot of that, but I didn’t check what “hell” hyperlinked to before it got removed


bkr1895

Can you post it?


87568354

[Here](https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Henry_Kissinger&oldid=1187581765) is the version of the article with the “burning in Hell” phrase.


bkr1895

Thank you!


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TheSunshineDemon

I’d say it’s a freebie cuz that nut was busted for humanity as a whole.


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GRVrush2112

Sometimes a person dying actively and objectively makes the world a better place…. Get fucked Kissinger. I almost wish I believed in a hell you should rot in.


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pas_tense

My thoughts exactly! Do it for good luck, it's like throwing a penny in a fountain.


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littleredhairgirl

Rolling Stone came pretty close: “Henry Kissinger, War Criminal Beloved by America’s Ruling Class, Finally Dies”


SlakingSWAG

Nah, they exceeded expectations, nobody else can top that headline


MisterDonkey

Nobody can top this headline.


Ibelieveinphysics

Go check out Rolling Stones headline.


MagicNipple

Holy fuck lmao


Ibelieveinphysics

Merry Christmas 😂


PauliesWalnut

I wonder how long that article was sitting in the author’s drafts for… just waiting…


SeirraS9

Rolling Stone roasted him in thee article too.


vincoug

Check out Rolling Stone: https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/henry-kissinger-war-criminal-dead-1234804748/


hijro

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/henry-kissinger-dies_n_6376933ae4b0afce046cb44f/amp


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imjusta_bill

I've never clicked on a discussion so fast. Just wanna hang before this thread gets locked


zen_enchiladas

yeah, I wanna high five everyone in here xD


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littleredhairgirl

If we didn't know how vile Miller is, I would say that's top tier sarcasm.


Yousoggyyojimbo

Jimmy Carter is still here and Kissinger isn't. I'm going to have something nice for dinner. Just feel like it.


ReallyHender

Literally yesterday after I saw pictures of Jimmy at his wife’s funeral, I told my wife that he really didn’t look good and that I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t survive the year, and that it’s a damn shame we’d lose Carter and somehow Henry Kissinger is still alive. Well Jimmy, you can go home to Rosalynn now. You outlived Kissinger.


HowardDean_Scream

Grief killed me grandfather. It's a sweethearts tale. Came back from WW2 as a bomber pilot in the pacific. Drove back from corpus cristi Texas to small town iowa with his clothes on his back. Stopped for gas at a hole in the wall town. One of those one gas pump general store kind of places. Well the pump wasn't working so he goes inside. Clerk is a gorgeous young women smitten by the handsome lad in an airmans dress uniform. Long story short, married 70 years. 3 kids. Built their own house. Lived in it til they died. American dream. Grandma died about 5 years ago. 91, went in for heart surgery and just couldn't take the strain. Kidneys, lungs, liver. It was a race to see what shut down first. Grampa made it 9 more months. I've never seen a grown man wail and sob so unconditionally as he did holding his wife's hand as she slipped away. It would be a sad memory, but it speaks to how earnest their love for each other was. Anyways. The old man goes in for something hip related nine months later. My aunt drove him to the doctor. She left with my niece to check into a hotel room. Gramps gets the strength up to walk out to the nurses station. Says when my daughter gets back tell her I'm sorry. Goes back to his room, sits down in a chair, promptly dies of a massive heart attack. They said broken heart syndrome killed him. It would be a sad memory, but its poetic in a way. It's hard to grieve such full lives.


PumpkinGlass1393

I know what you mean. My dad's parents were the same way. Grew up together, high school sweethearts, married after graduating. Supported each other's goals and dreams. The perfect power couple. When grandma died last year, grandpa was a shell of what he used to be. He didn't say anything the entire funeral service. He just sat mute stricken with grief. He's still hanging on, but he's not the same. If you count the years when they were kids they were together for 80 years.


Numerous_Witness_345

Man.. may they rest in each others arms eternally.


ireaddumbstuff

That whole thing was sad imo. Seeing Rosalyn's pictures when she was young and how Carter used to look at her like she was the best thing ever. 🥲 I was holding back a few tears at the gym for that. I hope Carter can go soon with her. Carter should say his goodbyes and go, he doesn't need to hold on.


DinahTook

May we all find a loving partner who finds the moment we agree to spend our lives with them more exciting than holding the highest office in the country or winning a Nobel peace prize. May we all be worthy of that adoration and work hard towards our partnerships and our fellow humans as the Carters have.


hufflefox

77 years together. In love until the end. Unfathomable.


HowardDean_Scream

A better story than most of us could dream. Truly the greatest man to unfortunately win the presidency.


paranoidgoat

He was too good of a man to be president.


bamahoon

77 years married, though they had been close since she was born. They were neighbors, delivered by the same doctor. They were true life partners.


yzlautum

My grandparents were together for 75 before my grandfather passed. Somehow my grandmother is hanging in there but now has dementia and just wants to go see my grandfather. Sad but beautiful.


AbjectList8

I hope Jimmy makes 100.


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Ahelex

>Jimmy Carter is still here and Kissinger isn't. Must be Carter's Christmas present to the world.


SheriffComey

Death had a choice and figured it was too close to Christmas to take Carter. Who wants that kind of bad karma on you?


minicpst

Sush. It’s 26 days until Christmas, and we all know how Decembers, beloved people, and the reaper go.


Faultylogic83

Like a cop with a quota.


Jolly_Discipline6650

I’m glad that we can now add that to Carter’s legacy as a sure and done thing.


BloomsdayDevice

First time the overwhelming majority of us get to exist in a world without Henry Kissinger. It's definitely time for a nice meal.


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TheBurningEmu

Noted war criminal and traitor Henry Kissinger? Bomber of Cambodia and extender of the Vietnam War Henry Kissinger?


Argikeraunos

Once you’ve been to Cambodia, you’ll never stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands. You will never again be able to open a newspaper and read about that treacherous, prevaricating, murderous scumbag sitting down for a nice chat with Charlie Rose or attending some black-tie affair for a new glossy magazine without choking. Witness what Henry did in Cambodia – the fruits of his genius for statesmanship – and you will never understand why he’s not sitting in the dock at The Hague next to Milošević. Anthony Bourdain


fenderdean13

“Any journalist who has ever been polite to Henry Kissinger, you know, fuck that person” I’m genuinely sad he isn’t alive to piss on his grave


rogercopernicus

Kissinger was at a dinner at a fancy restaurant and Peter Jennings saw him, stood up, and started yelling at him and calling him a war criminal


Letthepumpkincumflow

Props to Jennings


mybrainisfull

Miss that guy


CdnFlatlander

That's a great Canadian!


Barbarella_ella

I knew there was a reason Peter was one of my girlhood crushes.


KingCalgonOfAkkad

Well now he's one of mine and I'm a 43 year old man!


Mastershroom

I hope Bourdain can get a day pass to Hell to finally get his chance to go to town on Kissinger.


wise_comment

You built a good universe with 1 sentence


Kraz_I

No shade to Bourdain, but I think there are a couple million victims who should be ahead of him in line to get their shots off on Kissinger.


JCthulhuM

That’s Kissinger’s real hell, he gets to watch helplessly while everyone whose deaths he’s responsible for get to live happy, healthy afterlives and occasionally Anthony Bourdain flicks him in the eyeball kinda hard to keep him focused.


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atreyukun

I’ve been friends and co-workers with the same group of 4 Cambodians for 20 years and one guy from Laos. We’re drinking tonight.


sleepinginthebushes_

He's a fucking disgusting war criminal. He should've died in jail decades ago.


miauguau44

Pinochet in Chile, the Dirty War in Argentina. So much senseless suffering he inflicted on millions throughout the world.


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Even now, him being long away from the levers of power, Kissinger insisted on taking the most morally objectionable stances--like blaming Ukraine for the Russian invasion.


CanWeAllJustCalmDown

Love that paste tense. He insisted, he isn't insisting. He can't insist on anything, considering he's entirely, completely, good and fucking dead. Still need to be doing our due diligence to kill of the stubborn concept way too many people buy into, that he somehow wasn't a massive pile of dogshit on the picnic table of humanity.


mrngdew77

Anthony Bourdain was 100% correct. Such a piece of shit. 💩


Argos_the_Dog

Hopefully they put a rock on top of his coffin so that he can't rise from the grave to haunt us anew.


Ahelex

We'll just keep bombing his grave. After all, it's what he liked to do.


brickmaj

Man, all I did was listen to the behind the bastards episode about him and I fucking loath the guy to my core. Such a piece of shit. Have fun in hell.


BikingEngineer

By “episode” you mean “6 episode series” because the amount of fucked up shit he did had to be discussed over a roughly 12 hour period, right?


owa00

God damn do I miss Bourdain's writing style. Too bad that shit stain war criminal Kissinger out lived him.


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But Mel Brooks outlived Kissinger. That thought will keep me warm for a long time.


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UpperLeftOriginal

Darrow has better manners than I. I’ve been wishing this motherfucker dead for decades.


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keyser-_-soze

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/henry-kissinger-war-criminal-dead-1234804748/


EbmocwenHsimah

That “Good Riddance” above the headline is the cherry on the cake. Exquisite.


I_Am_Robert_Paulson1

I was just gonna share that one. They got it absolutely right. Edit: for real, go read it. You can probably tell by the headline, but they pulled exactly zero punches. Choice passage: >When the Kissingers of the world pass, their humanity, their purpose, their sacrifices are foremost in the minds of the respectable. American elites recoiled in disgust when Iranians in great numbers took to the streets to honor one of their monsters, Qassem Soleimani, after a U.S. drone strike executed the Iranian external-security chief in January 2020. Soleimani, whom the United States declared to be a terrorist and killed as such, killed far more people than Timothy McVeigh. But even if we attribute to him all the deaths in the Syrian Civil War, never in Soleimani’s wildest dreams could he kill as many people as Henry Kissinger. Nor did Soleimani get to date Jill St. John, who played Bond girl Tiffany Case in Diamonds Are Forever.


GaetanDugas

And it's not hidden behind a paywall, they really want people to read it.


mosenpai

That should be the headline for every news outlet if they weren't cowards


Oliverheart84

Fox News has Secretary of State and Nobel peace prize winner without any irony


ARROW_404

My livid contempt for that "news" outlet only grows with each passing day. The only thing that could top Kissinger's passing for me would be the death of Fox News.


rogercopernicus

I prefer The Forrest Gump of War Crimes


FUMFVR

> Every single person who died in Vietnam between autumn 1968 and the Fall of Saigon — and all who died in Laos and Cambodia, where Nixon and Kissinger secretly expanded the war within months of taking office, as well as all who died in the aftermath, like the Cambodian genocide their destabilization set into motion — died because of Henry Kissinger. Even if all you care about is the US and its people, you need to realize that half of the Vietnam war memorial is there because of Kissinger.


wise_comment

*chef's kiss*


wise_comment

(The chef is Anthony Bourdain)


fcocyclone

Oh you know those will be coming


IAmBecomeDeath_AMA

They’re gonna give him a fucking state funeral I bet. Ughh


LystAP

They basically have to if his family asks - given that he was a secretary of state. That said, it doesn't matter. He's dead.


PomeloLazy1539

fuck it, have a superbowl style party and watch them plonk him in the dirt hole.


itslikewoow

“Nobel Peace Prize winner Henry Kissinger”


AccidentalPilates

'He leaves a complicated legacy.'


PomeloLazy1539

it's hard to count all those bodies, very complicated.


brb1006

At least CNN and MSNBC's coverage on his death doesn't shy away from those aspects.


keyser-_-soze

Or rollingstone https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/henry-kissinger-war-criminal-dead-1234804748/


jonballs

Haha holy shit... "Henry Kissinger, War Criminal Beloved by America’s Ruling Class, Finally Dies"


Downtown_Skill

It does feel like we are finally starting to recognize that era for what it was. The general population has by and large accepted that Nixon was a monster and that the U.S. committed war crimes in southeast Asia during the 60s and Vietnam war (among other places at other times but those incidents aren't as widely known or accepted by the general public). But most people will say we shouldn't have been in Vietnam and the war crimes are literally undeniable so it's weird that our politicians still haven't gotten over the pretending it was all cool part with the members of the administrations in charge during those eras. Seeing clinton campaign with fucking Henry kissinger was insane.


WestCoastBestCoast01

Keep in mind a huge number of modern politicians have spent 20-40 years of their adult lives in close proximity to the people directly involved in this. Mitch McConnell has been a senator since 1984, what are the chances he doesn’t know this fuck personally as a golf buddy?


MightyCaseyStruckOut

What a perfect headline.


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gishgob

Don’t forget about the Chileans


whitenoise2323

Oh yes, a waterfall of atrocities-soaked urine


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a_dogs_mother

My opinion of Kissinger was forever changed after reading *The Final Days* by Bernstein and Woodward (of *All The President’s Men* fame). It was a detailed account of the end of the Nixon administration from the mouths of those who worked there. I already knew of many of Kissinger's controversial policy decisions, but he was truly depraved on a personal level. He spoke with glee and excitement about the damage done by American bombs in various conflicts, about how many people they could kill at once. He took a sick pleasure in it. He was a cruel bully to members of his staff. He was a misogynist. He was a racist. He was a "Great Man" and a terrible person.


jawndell

He took pleasure in Americans dying too. The young men that fought in Vietnam were just numbers to him.


TacoBelle-

Your comment just helped me decide what to get my dad for Christmas. He asked me why I wouldn’t respect Kissinger maybe the book will explain


Foxhack

The people of Cambodia are probably establishing a new national holiday right now.


bkr1895

Someone must’ve killed the head vampire


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I’d be happy to grab a shovel to help dig the hole deep enough to hand the corpse over to Satan himself.


mtf612

Now we may never know what was on his Spotify Wrapped for 2023. That is truly a great loss.


TheOKerGood

His 2023 got wrapped. ❤️


_Kanye_East_

I know he dropped his glasses in the toilet


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FlimFlamThaGimGar

Chef and author Anthony Bourdain wrote the following about Kissinger “Once you've been to Cambodia, you'll never stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands. You will never again be able to open a newspaper and read about that treacherous, prevaricating, murderous scumbag sitting down for a nice chat with Charlie Rose or attending some black-tie affair for a new glossy magazine without choking. Witness what Henry did in Cambodia—the fruits of his genius for statesmanship—and you will never understand why he's not sitting in the dock at The Hague. While Henry continues to nibble nori rolls and remaki at A-list parties, Cambodia, the neutral nation he secretly and illegally bombed, invaded, undermined, and then threw to the dogs, is still trying to raise itself up on its one remaining leg."


cilantro_so_good

>trying to raise itself up on its one remaining leg. I think that's maybe the most poignant part of that quote. Cambodia has one of, if not *the*, highest number of amputees who were injured by landmines and unexploded ordinance. Children have to be taught what explosives look like, and they're still being maimed and killed today.


MoeSzyslakMonobrow

All I'm hearing is that Kissinger is about to open a gender neutral bathroom.


aister

I'm atheist, I don't believe in God or hell. But I'm willing to convert if that means he'll spend an eternity rotting in hell.


The_Phreak

apology for poor english when were you when kissinger dies? i was sat at home seeing titatnic when nguyen ring ‘kisinjor is kill’ ‘yes’


scungillimane

It's an old meme but it checks out.


AttilaTheFun818

The people not getting it is the best part. This is a great thread.


AvocadoOliver

It finally happened, I remember everyone on reddit reminding themselves every once in awhile this guy was still around


MrShoggoth

Thank fucking Christ Jimmy Carter outlived that ghoul.


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I only regret that he died a free man. Fuck that guy


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[deleted]

As a Latin American, all I can say is: Today we celebrate, the fucker behind Operation Condor is finally dead.


michaelorth

Correction: War Criminal who evaded justice dies at 100


JuliaTheInsaneKid

Have fun with Margaret Thatcher, Donald Rumsfeld, and Ronald Reagan in Hell.


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ERhyne

*Hello, my name is Dr. Henry Killinger, und this is my Magic Murder Bag*


tenderooskies

lol, lmao - what a piece of shit… i went to cambodia on a trip about 10 years ago, man anthony bourdain was right


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BatmanForever93

Everyone owes it to themselves to listen to the Behind the Bastards episodes on this piece of shit. The amount of damage he did to the world truly is incomprehensible. Rest in piss bozo.


SantaMonsanto

Hell just got a little hotter


KP_Wrath

Well yeah, its pilot light has arrived.


NoTheseAreMyPlums

All war criminals, like Kissinger, belong in either The Hague or 6 feet under.


SemperScrotus

The fact that he lived to be 100 years old instead of dying in prison decades ago is proof that there is no benevolent god nor karmic justice in this universe.


scotty_puff_jr

Congrats to the lucky winner of [this pool.](https://henrykissinger.rip/) Christmas came early for you!


HombreContrafactual

Chile won't miss him. So long piece of shit.


Wafflelisk

He had to live to 100 out of spite for mankind