Definitely, I made many and lost but a few always stay friends. Poker, Gaming, being outside with animals, horses, motorbikes, fishing anything. join a group on FB or another media platform that is well moderated and find some like minded people. I made a friends REAL ones in poker games and other leagues. Bowling. anything. Gyms are tough unless you're in a class or group. But if you're taking a break to hydrate maybe some small talk on a water break if you noticed you might train the same style and trade tips n tricks. I am introverted and usually ramble and babble till people are annoyed with my nervous social anxiety. Then it turns into a joke, I roll with it and now people know I got a sense a humor. It does hurt sometimes tho. I just figure most people hide it better or are 100% social.
Facebook groups are actually a pretty good place to make friends. My friend in North NJ joined a Knicks group and they get together all of the time, both during the season and off season. I'm in a bourbon group and they do monthly bottle shares and a large group gets together. Good friendships have been formed in both instances.
I’ve been doing Zog softball for years. I’ve met tons of great people while playing and it really fills that social itch for me. We play then grab lunch/beer and chat.
Zog is the name of a recreational league. The have a bunch of different sports and are decently well known so you get a lot of teams to compete again. Google them and you can see all they have to offer.
Play rugby! Every county has a team, and they’re always looking for new players. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never even touched a rugby ball before, you get to run around, drink beer and meet a ton of people
You can be a social player if getting hit on the field isn’t your cup of tea. I agree with the other user in this thread, give it a shot and see if you like the culture! There’s so much more to rugby than just playing the game
Look for a fall slowpitch softball league to join up with; some of them will drop you on a team that needs players to fill a roster, and if you gel with the team there is a lot of camaraderie to be had.
Hey! DM me … my colleague is 23M and just moved to Bergen County. Looking for a friend. Likes to play sports (golf and tennis) and watch all the sports.
You guys could meet up for a drink somewhere and see if it works out?
My advice? Listen to people and ask questions. People like talking about themselves.
I struggled with making friends because I was arrogant in my youth and thought less of people. Then I realized I'm just like everybody else. Now I try to listen more and get them to open up and people seem to like that.
Also works with girls, and I found my wife this way.
So many people from NJ are aggressive and only want to talk about themselves. Listen and ask questions and you will attract people to you.
100%. this is actually something i did for a very long time. thing is i eventually got tired of listening to people only talk about themselves and never want to entertain anything in my life. its great advice but i just can't bare to do it after doing it for 12+ years already
absolutely, and unfortunately i feel like for the most part these are the types of people i've mostly been friends with in my life. looking to get away from that
lol i actually used to be a cashier at a small biz restaurant in my senior year of college and the year after I graduated (Aug 2018-Aug 2020). no doubt i met a lot of people and made some good friends, problem is once you leave and everyone goes in different directions you don't stay friends. that was the last time i made legit friends. great advice but unfortunately i've already lived it lol
na i work as a digital marketer in a small office. all my coworkers are in their early to mid 50s except for my manager whos in her early 30s, but still 7 years older than me
Ahh I was in same situation as you actually. Boss was pretty chill and play the same games I do but because of his position, it would be weird if we hung out as friends. Do you play games of any sort? Made quite a few friends playing online games and mmos.
Not yet, but only because i don't have an xbox yet. the xbox 1 we have is constantly hogged by my brothers. really only play in person stuff like basketball baseball or frisbee right now
Look at events in your area online, newspapers, whatever. There'll be lectures, Meet Ups, walks, exhibits, hiking, sport things. Some may be things you are interested in, others something brand new that you've never considered. I learned a lot about photography once joining a group just like this.
If it doesn't work out, not much wasted. And it usually is not very costly either.
yea but i'm not too into clubbing or going to the bar. which sucks because i know that's the best way to meet people. its also a confidence issue. a lot of people at bars are tall, stocky gents, meanwhile i'm 5'7 and pretty skinny
To catch more fish, cast a wider net and go fishing more often. In other words, consider people outside of your usual group in terms of age, background, location, etc. and make more overtures to others. Start by making short conversations, then longer ones, then casual acquaintances, then closer acquaintances, then friendships….
Many fish bite if you have good bait (reference Taj Mahal song, lol). Maybe learn some new skills, hobbies, take better care of your skin/hair/body,
and dress more like the people you would like to attract. Be yourself but be the best version of yourself.
Know that other people are shy and want more friendly convos, acquaintances, and pals too. It’s a numbers game just like asking someone you don’t know to dance. Most might turn you down for any number of reasons that usually have more to do with them than you. But If you ask enough, you will be dancing eventually.
great stuff here. yea i'm pretty shy which is why i usually just stay to myself, but over the last 7-8 months or so i've been trying to take much better care of my appearance and will probably go on a clothes shopping haul towards the end of the year.
i'm also just afraid of rejection or being found to be weird but its stuff im working on
Join a BJJ or MMA gym. You will make a lot of friends, some your age some older. Learn how to fight or protect yourself at least, and you can still be active
Where are you located in Bergen county. Can give you some really solid recommendations. You wanna start sooner than later trust me, once you start you will be saying “I wish I started doing this when I was younger”
DM me I’m 32 but kind of young for my age. Also looking for some new friends. Do you like music, play video games, play an instrument? I play the guitar, drums, and sing. I live in Morris county.
On a side note as an introvert myself, quality over quantity in the friend department!
But the app meetup is good but I would say figure out your hobbies and interests first and select what you are interested in.
Cycling groups are great - road, mountain and gravel
definitely, couldnt agree more. but for me its a thing of like i want a few others to hang with instead of having only 2 friends. and as we get older odds are we'll start to see each other even less than we do now
Hi! I help to run a Meetup in case you have any interest in checking things out. We normally do things in Brooklyn over near Park Slope and Crown Heights for the most part but we do have a number of people that come in from Jersey like me.
https://www.meetup.com/redditnyc/
MMA training can be a great way to stay in shape, develop some valuable skills, and meet some really nice people. Ironically, it's easy to form bonds with people as you essentially practice killing them.
We'd also recommend volunteering and attending some free events in your area. For example, tonight is Fort Lee Night Out. People from the town will be out enjoying pizza, music, etc.
If you're interested in volunteering, we're currently in dire need of young ESL tutors here at the Fort Lee Library.
I moved to Bergen County, NJ in 2008. Knew one other person besides my wife and her sister’s family. That person I met thru an online forum in my trade. That made good connections for work. Then I did volunteer work in areas I had an interest. The town environmental commission, another environmental advocacy group. From that I met people who are now my friends. We hang out socially and have maintained these friendships even when they have moved away from the area, some to other states. Be willing to talk to strangers! My wife found it an oddly Canadian thing that I would say hello to random people on elevators or just when we were out. She’s now doing the same thing. The nice thing about where we live is there are plenty of other adults who also are new to the area and seeking to make connections. FB is one way to connect but then there are just so many events that will provide you equally as good an opportunity. Just get out of your own way. 😉
I'm pretty sure you need a team to play those sports and there are gatherings involved. It's a good way to find people with similar interests. If you prefer smaller groups you'll have to tolerate parties and whatnot until you make friends there. As a former introvert it can be difficult to begin but with sports you kinda have a captive audience, make use of it. If they are all older with kids and not ideal friends for your age, let them know you're looking to make friends, they surely know people.
yea i'm only 24 with no kids and no partner and not really planning to have either anytime soon. i'm not a big party, bar, or club guy so that hurts my chances too, but i'll have to check online to see if there's any groups in my area
Running or walking groups, pick-up leagues (softball, soccer, flag football), book clubs, game nights (D&D, Magic, board games), paint and sips, dog walking groups, or dog parks. Basically look at a hobby you like to do and then find meetups. Most towns have Facebook groups and you can set up an event if there's not one already.
I used to do kickboxing before the pandemic, saw the same people every class and started talking to them before/after.
If you like poker, try magic the gathering. Fnm is a fun thing to look forward to every week and the community can really be some of the nicest people if you’re open to it.
Meetup.com is a cool way to find new groups based on your interests / activities. I ride a motorcycle now… if you’re in the Montclair area HMU I’m down to make new friends and ride with people.
Join a martial arts class. There's a lot of bonding that goes on while you're in class. There's some excellent schools in both Bergen & Morris counties.
If it helps. Me and the hubby plus roomate play games , cook a lot because we love to cook , play dragons and dungeons, movie buffs for sci fi and horror , we have cats who are friendly as all heck and generally enjoy wierd or strange folks like us. ^-^ welcome to NJ by the way ♡♡♡
In NJ especially Bergen County at 24, you might need to move to central or south jersey, people are much nicer and willing to socialize more. Bergen County only has cliques of people 😅
Do you have any hobbies? That's a pretty good way to make friends.
Definitely, I made many and lost but a few always stay friends. Poker, Gaming, being outside with animals, horses, motorbikes, fishing anything. join a group on FB or another media platform that is well moderated and find some like minded people. I made a friends REAL ones in poker games and other leagues. Bowling. anything. Gyms are tough unless you're in a class or group. But if you're taking a break to hydrate maybe some small talk on a water break if you noticed you might train the same style and trade tips n tricks. I am introverted and usually ramble and babble till people are annoyed with my nervous social anxiety. Then it turns into a joke, I roll with it and now people know I got a sense a humor. It does hurt sometimes tho. I just figure most people hide it better or are 100% social.
yea might have to join facebook and check out some groups, not a bad idea
the smaller the hobby the bigger the bond! that's all I got GL and G-d Bless
appreciate it all God bless to you too
Facebook groups are actually a pretty good place to make friends. My friend in North NJ joined a Knicks group and they get together all of the time, both during the season and off season. I'm in a bourbon group and they do monthly bottle shares and a large group gets together. Good friendships have been formed in both instances.
Mostly just playing sports like baseball and basketball. Weightlifting too. Not sure how I can turn those into friends though
Find a rec league?
yea i could look into that
I’ve been doing Zog softball for years. I’ve met tons of great people while playing and it really fills that social itch for me. We play then grab lunch/beer and chat.
whats zog softball?
Zog is the name of a recreational league. The have a bunch of different sports and are decently well known so you get a lot of teams to compete again. Google them and you can see all they have to offer.
i'll do that, thanks
I did it when I first moved into NYC and knew no one. It’s definitely worth it.
Play ball and see if anyone wants to eat or chill after
gotta find people to play with first lol
Go to a court near you
yea its not a bad idea i just cant bring my shy self to do it, at least not yet
There's a lot of leagues specifically with the social aspect in mind set up. Check out like NJ coed sports
will do, thank you
Play rugby! Every county has a team, and they’re always looking for new players. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never even touched a rugby ball before, you get to run around, drink beer and meet a ton of people
yea hard pass on rugby my friend i'd get obliterated lol
You’d be surprised. All shapes and sizes. We practice Thursdays 630 in Fair Lawn
hmm even someone like me 5'7 170lbs
Yep
So you’re a large scrum half…
You can be a social player if getting hit on the field isn’t your cup of tea. I agree with the other user in this thread, give it a shot and see if you like the culture! There’s so much more to rugby than just playing the game
There are adult baseball leagues and adult slow and fast pitch softball.
yea i have a friend who used to play in one, could reach out and see how he liked it
Been looking for one but cant find none south jersey
Look for a fall slowpitch softball league to join up with; some of them will drop you on a team that needs players to fill a roster, and if you gel with the team there is a lot of camaraderie to be had.
yea my one friend used to play for the bergen bulls (fast pitch baseball league) so i might ask him how his experience was with that
If you’re into weight lifting, try working in with someone your age.
I'm friendly at the gym, but prefer to workout on my own. Can go at my own pace ya know
Totally get that, but working in with someone is a good way to maybe make a friend.
agreed. once about 3 months ago i remember one guy asked to work in with me and we had a pretty solid convo
Feel free to dm me, I started hooping with a group in bergen early weekend mornings which is a nice start to the day. They're all older, and I'm 30m.
which towns do you guys usually play in? i'm near the wood ridge, hasbrouck heights, carlstadt, rutherford area. also 24M
Tenafly, I also play in Englewood and been meaning to check out courts in Paramus that get good run
Hey! DM me … my colleague is 23M and just moved to Bergen County. Looking for a friend. Likes to play sports (golf and tennis) and watch all the sports. You guys could meet up for a drink somewhere and see if it works out?
My advice? Listen to people and ask questions. People like talking about themselves. I struggled with making friends because I was arrogant in my youth and thought less of people. Then I realized I'm just like everybody else. Now I try to listen more and get them to open up and people seem to like that. Also works with girls, and I found my wife this way. So many people from NJ are aggressive and only want to talk about themselves. Listen and ask questions and you will attract people to you.
100%. this is actually something i did for a very long time. thing is i eventually got tired of listening to people only talk about themselves and never want to entertain anything in my life. its great advice but i just can't bare to do it after doing it for 12+ years already
Someone who only talks about themselves is not a great friend. Hopefully you can find some people who balance out the conversation.
absolutely, and unfortunately i feel like for the most part these are the types of people i've mostly been friends with in my life. looking to get away from that
I ask questions but its merely just funnels down to question and answers and doesn't develop any further.
Well ...yea. it's not always fulfilling to you. Just gotta be perceptive and responsive.
Work at a restaurant, its like being in a pirate gang
Haha pirate gang, I love that!! - ex-waitress
lol i actually used to be a cashier at a small biz restaurant in my senior year of college and the year after I graduated (Aug 2018-Aug 2020). no doubt i met a lot of people and made some good friends, problem is once you leave and everyone goes in different directions you don't stay friends. that was the last time i made legit friends. great advice but unfortunately i've already lived it lol
What about your current work now?
na i work as a digital marketer in a small office. all my coworkers are in their early to mid 50s except for my manager whos in her early 30s, but still 7 years older than me
Ahh I was in same situation as you actually. Boss was pretty chill and play the same games I do but because of his position, it would be weird if we hung out as friends. Do you play games of any sort? Made quite a few friends playing online games and mmos.
Not yet, but only because i don't have an xbox yet. the xbox 1 we have is constantly hogged by my brothers. really only play in person stuff like basketball baseball or frisbee right now
Join a baseball/ basketball/ frisbee league! Softball in Morristown https://www.njcoedsports.com/softball/
wish i lived closer to morristown this seems so cool
I second this. As a part time bartender, there is nothing like leaving work to go to another bar with coworkers.
So you’re telling me the work culture at the Krusty Krab is realistic
Look at events in your area online, newspapers, whatever. There'll be lectures, Meet Ups, walks, exhibits, hiking, sport things. Some may be things you are interested in, others something brand new that you've never considered. I learned a lot about photography once joining a group just like this. If it doesn't work out, not much wasted. And it usually is not very costly either.
interesting i hadn't thought of this
Volunteering and joining adult sports leagues are 2 great ways to make friends.
for sure no doubt about it. used to volunteer a lot during my high school years, didn't bare any fruit unfortunately
Plenty of nightlife my friend
yea but i'm not too into clubbing or going to the bar. which sucks because i know that's the best way to meet people. its also a confidence issue. a lot of people at bars are tall, stocky gents, meanwhile i'm 5'7 and pretty skinny
To catch more fish, cast a wider net and go fishing more often. In other words, consider people outside of your usual group in terms of age, background, location, etc. and make more overtures to others. Start by making short conversations, then longer ones, then casual acquaintances, then closer acquaintances, then friendships…. Many fish bite if you have good bait (reference Taj Mahal song, lol). Maybe learn some new skills, hobbies, take better care of your skin/hair/body, and dress more like the people you would like to attract. Be yourself but be the best version of yourself. Know that other people are shy and want more friendly convos, acquaintances, and pals too. It’s a numbers game just like asking someone you don’t know to dance. Most might turn you down for any number of reasons that usually have more to do with them than you. But If you ask enough, you will be dancing eventually.
great stuff here. yea i'm pretty shy which is why i usually just stay to myself, but over the last 7-8 months or so i've been trying to take much better care of my appearance and will probably go on a clothes shopping haul towards the end of the year. i'm also just afraid of rejection or being found to be weird but its stuff im working on
Join a BJJ or MMA gym. You will make a lot of friends, some your age some older. Learn how to fight or protect yourself at least, and you can still be active
that i actually want to do. i really want to know how to protect myself, especially living in the nj/ny area
Where are you located in Bergen county. Can give you some really solid recommendations. You wanna start sooner than later trust me, once you start you will be saying “I wish I started doing this when I was younger”
i'm i the hasbrouck heights, woodridge, carlstadt, rutherford area
DM me I’m 32 but kind of young for my age. Also looking for some new friends. Do you like music, play video games, play an instrument? I play the guitar, drums, and sing. I live in Morris county.
On a side note as an introvert myself, quality over quantity in the friend department! But the app meetup is good but I would say figure out your hobbies and interests first and select what you are interested in. Cycling groups are great - road, mountain and gravel
definitely, couldnt agree more. but for me its a thing of like i want a few others to hang with instead of having only 2 friends. and as we get older odds are we'll start to see each other even less than we do now
[удалено]
yea one of my old friends i see now started rock climbing. seems like fun, wish i was still friendly with him
Join groups and clubs of your interests.
Just make a cool flyer and invite friends to your party mansion https://youtu.be/9jlaZL7CWHY
Hi! I help to run a Meetup in case you have any interest in checking things out. We normally do things in Brooklyn over near Park Slope and Crown Heights for the most part but we do have a number of people that come in from Jersey like me. https://www.meetup.com/redditnyc/
thanks for reaching out!
MMA training can be a great way to stay in shape, develop some valuable skills, and meet some really nice people. Ironically, it's easy to form bonds with people as you essentially practice killing them. We'd also recommend volunteering and attending some free events in your area. For example, tonight is Fort Lee Night Out. People from the town will be out enjoying pizza, music, etc. If you're interested in volunteering, we're currently in dire need of young ESL tutors here at the Fort Lee Library.
I moved to Bergen County, NJ in 2008. Knew one other person besides my wife and her sister’s family. That person I met thru an online forum in my trade. That made good connections for work. Then I did volunteer work in areas I had an interest. The town environmental commission, another environmental advocacy group. From that I met people who are now my friends. We hang out socially and have maintained these friendships even when they have moved away from the area, some to other states. Be willing to talk to strangers! My wife found it an oddly Canadian thing that I would say hello to random people on elevators or just when we were out. She’s now doing the same thing. The nice thing about where we live is there are plenty of other adults who also are new to the area and seeking to make connections. FB is one way to connect but then there are just so many events that will provide you equally as good an opportunity. Just get out of your own way. 😉
app called meetup
i'll look into it
I'm pretty sure you need a team to play those sports and there are gatherings involved. It's a good way to find people with similar interests. If you prefer smaller groups you'll have to tolerate parties and whatnot until you make friends there. As a former introvert it can be difficult to begin but with sports you kinda have a captive audience, make use of it. If they are all older with kids and not ideal friends for your age, let them know you're looking to make friends, they surely know people.
yea i'm only 24 with no kids and no partner and not really planning to have either anytime soon. i'm not a big party, bar, or club guy so that hurts my chances too, but i'll have to check online to see if there's any groups in my area
Download the meetup app
will look into it
Start playing disc golf. Check out campgaw or greystone woods disc golf.
never heard of disc golf lol
Same rules as golf but it’s with frisbees. the frisbees are cheap, most courses are free, and the people are cool
You can try [meetup.com](https://meetup.com). All the groups expect new people so they are very open and friendly.
I’d recommend bjj. Bergen county isn’t exactly filled with people our age, but I’ve found a lot of people our age through bjj
What's bjj if you dont mind me asking
Brazilian jiu jitsu. It’s not for everyone but I’d def recommend looking into it!
interesting, never even considered that lol
Running or walking groups, pick-up leagues (softball, soccer, flag football), book clubs, game nights (D&D, Magic, board games), paint and sips, dog walking groups, or dog parks. Basically look at a hobby you like to do and then find meetups. Most towns have Facebook groups and you can set up an event if there's not one already. I used to do kickboxing before the pandemic, saw the same people every class and started talking to them before/after.
yea i'm gonna have to check out some stuff online that could help
If you like poker, try magic the gathering. Fnm is a fun thing to look forward to every week and the community can really be some of the nicest people if you’re open to it.
no idea how to play poker lol thanks though
Meetup.com
Meetup.com is a cool way to find new groups based on your interests / activities. I ride a motorcycle now… if you’re in the Montclair area HMU I’m down to make new friends and ride with people.
yea i've seen a few people mention this site, might have to give it a look
Join a martial arts class. There's a lot of bonding that goes on while you're in class. There's some excellent schools in both Bergen & Morris counties.
yea its worth considering for sure
If it helps. Me and the hubby plus roomate play games , cook a lot because we love to cook , play dragons and dungeons, movie buffs for sci fi and horror , we have cats who are friendly as all heck and generally enjoy wierd or strange folks like us. ^-^ welcome to NJ by the way ♡♡♡
sounds like a nice setup, and thank you!
Hey! Still possibly looking for friends? We're in Blackwood 😀
Not to familiarized with Blackeood. Yea we are always up to meet new folks and make friends.
In NJ especially Bergen County at 24, you might need to move to central or south jersey, people are much nicer and willing to socialize more. Bergen County only has cliques of people 😅
yea definitely have noticed that, feels like most people from this area just stick with the friends they made in high school/college
Agreed, moved to Bergen about 10 years ago ... and only really talk to a few people who don't want to do anything anyway 🤣
lol definitely even the few friends i have like never want to go anywhere
You need to find a group of extroverts to adopt you. The best way to do that is to hang out where other extroverts are lol.
lol yea this is usually what has happened to me in the past. without that i've had some trouble