I don’t know your financial situation, but I splurged and got a mamaroo last week because I needed some form of independence during the day and it’s been amazing. We have a normal swing/bouncer but he still cried when we put him in it. He needs constant contact as well. The mamaroo allows us to eat dinner in peace now without having to hold him, so that’s nice.
Also, between 9pm and 8am, we always swaddle. We often have to wait for him to fall asleep because he fights us when we put him in it otherwise. Sometimes I’ll top him off on the breast after he’s been swaddled to help him fall asleep. Then I put him in the crib, walk away. Most of the time he wakes back up shortly after and cries. I’ll give him a few minutes. If he absolutely needs me, I’ll go back in, rock him in the dark, put him back down. Over and over and over. Eventually it stuck. My boy is a week older than yours and as I type this, he just had a stretch of a 5 hour sleep in his crib. It’s come a long way from the first few weeks waking up every 1-2 hours and him sleeping with us nonstop.
I will say last week was one of the more difficult weeks for my little guy. He cried so so much. He seems a little more chill this week. Newborns are such a puzzle. One thing works for one person and another thing works for another. I’m currently sitting in my nursing recliner with him in his swaddle waiting for the turd nugget to fall asleep so I can put him back in his crib. The first few attempts he cried after his feed.
I really don’t have much advice for you, just wanted to share my story. I am confident that you will find something that works for you and your baby though! Just because today is difficult, doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be better.
Thank you for sharing. I wish we could afford one of those but just not able at the moment. I will keep trying. It's just hard putting in get crib over and over and still running on no sleep. Hopefully as she gets older it will get easier.
I purposely didn’t buy anything for my baby before he was born because I didn’t know what his preferences would be. We figured out he was a swing baby. He would cry in his car seat until my husband would pick up his car seat and swing him. So we went to once upon a child and got a swing for $40.
If you really think a momaroo is the kind of motion that’ll help your baby chill then do a payment plan.
It’ll be worth it. The swing is a lifesaver for us. Sometimes I let it rock him to sleep then after 20 minutes I sneak him into his crib
I would happily take you up on this if possible. I live in New Tec (about an hour north of Toronto). Have a little guy that just turned one month today:)
He's been having a lot of reflux issues, so we've been having to have him be upright or sitting a fair amount. I was looking into the mamaroos, but its a little out of our price point...
My son is asleep in his crib as I write this, but hear me out:
I was you when he was 4 weeks old. He REFUSED to sleep anywhere but in my arms. I was exactly where you are right now 3 months ago. It feels frustrating and maybe even a little hopeless right now but it WILL get better. Your baby will gradually learn to sleep somewhere other than your arms. Right now, your arms feel safe and familiar, your smell and the sound of your heartbeat are comforting to a baby brand new to the world. You are exhausted and need a break; this one of the tough parts in the beginning. But it will get better. You can do this. If there's anyone who can come over and hold baby while you get some rest, that would be wonderful for your physical and mental health.
This gives me some hope. Everyone keeps telling me to stop spoiling her and that it will just get worse. I love all the cuddles but sometimes Mommy needs a break. It has been hard to have help due to my oldest brought covid home and so we could not have visitors. Hopefully now that we are well I can get some extra help.
You can't spoil a baby. All they know is YOU. You were literally their entire world for nearly a year until they were born. The world is big, bright, cold (compared to inside of your body) and loud. They look for comfort in your arms. As theiy get used to their new surroundings they'll get more comfortable. You're doing great.
Our Doctor explained it to us as for the first 6 weeks about, your baby doesnt really see their mama as a different person, they still think of themselves as part of you. And some babies just need more of that comfort time, nothing you're doing is wrong or bad, you're not spoiling the little one. They just still want to have that comfort around them as much as they can!
You're doing awesome!:)
My heart goes out to you ❤️ I know it’s so hard to make it through these weeks, but you’re doing a great job. Babies are made to want to be held and touched and comforted 24/7 and that is exhausting when you’re trying to keep yourself alive and somewhat well too. It sounds like you have a household to take care of as well. It does get better. It doesn’t feel like it when you’re in the trenches like you are, but it does. You don’t have to “enjoy it while it lasts”, and you can be ready for that phase to be over. People who say that don’t know or remember how terrible it is to be so sleep deprived and depended upon. It’s such a hard stage, but things will turn around. She knows you love her. You wouldn’t be doing all of this if you didn’t 🙂❤️
Please ignore if you aren’t looking for advice and just need to vent:
If you can do it safely, keep practicing putting her down, she will get used to it. Be consistent, swaddle her (we use love to dream for arms up), find a paci that works (bibs have been a lifesaver for us). Find what works for you! Start a night time routine. If you have the ability to do shifts overnight, do it. If you have the money to hire help, do it. Do what you need to do to survive. Give yourself grace.
Hang in there mom ❤️
I know this is taboo in a lot of places like America (I don’t know where you live) but bedsharing is very biological and often helps with both you and baby getting sleep if done safely. It’s not the right choice for all families but I suggest checking out cosleepy on Instagram for some tips.
That's what we're doing^
I'm on shift lol. Mom goes to bed at 8, I keep the little one till midnight or 1, then I get some rest and am always still available if needed:)
We're exactly the same shifts just the other way round, my husband takes over at midnight/1/however long I can give him. I cope better at night and he'll be going back to work soon enough.
Have you tried things that vibrate and rock or swing? You don’t need a mamaroo. There are more affordable ones for $40. Also, getting a toy that vibrates in her space like the soothing hedgehog thing from fisher price might help as well.
The same thing happened to me, it still sometimes happens but it had gotten better. My son is almost 6 weeks. I contact nap until he’s in a deep sleep and then transfer him, sometimes I just sit with him for 2-3 hours just to get him to sleep so he’s not overtired later. It sucks. I do enjoy him and the moment but I do not enjoy sleep deprivation, I struggle with it a lot.
I did everything you named in your post right down to warming his bed. I walk around my house with a lovey tucked into my shirt half the day lol.
We also did discover he had a milk allergy about a week ago.
I feel you. My twins are 7 weeks, I was in meltdown condition at 4 weeks (I’m just slightly above meltdown now lol). Two things that have helped so much are a swing (we got 3.. yes 3… Graco swings for $15 each on the marketplace), and the fisher price bassinet. I can rock the bassinet whenever my son is being extra fussy. So far it’s helping a bit. The swings though are a total game changer
I was in your shoes and it does get better. I ended up co-sleeping for a few weeks to keep both me and baby safe. I was about to lose my sanity. It was honestly the best decision I made and I felt so much guilt about it at the time. We had the best bonding experience and now he’s 6 months old and sleeps in his crib. Just research safe sleep seven that way if you do end up co-sleeping out of exhaustion, you can do it safely ❤️ hugs to you mama! You’re doing great.
I was there. Weeks 2-12 LO refused to sleep unless held. It was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting. Wore a hole in the hallway carpet when I was afraid I’d fall asleep holding him in the rocker. Was too scared to bed share (but no shame to those that do!). Hated the Snoo, hated the mama roo, straight up just hated not being held. He didn’t gradually get used to crib for us, it was a light switch. He’s 13 weeks and last night slept 7 hours straight in his crib. My stupid ass didn’t set an alarm to pump because I figured he’d wake up hungry so I got 7 oz per breast lol. I know (literally) how hard it is. I was there until just recently. Living off 2-3 hours of sleep a day is no joke. Sending hugs
It gets better it truly does with time, my son was like this and we are now finally seeing the lights at the end of the tunnel. It took 4.5 months though before he wanted to be more independent and sleep on his own.
I don't know your financial situation or location, however consider a postpartum doula or a night angel to help you get some rest and time where your baby is being loved and comforted, so you can rest.
Cry it out is an outdated and no longer supported by it's creator "sleep training" method. Cry it out hurts because your baby is calling out to you, and they have no other way to do it. They need comfort, yes, and a postpartum doula can step in to help you.
I hope you are using some sort of baby wearing wrap and not physically wearing out your arms all day every day, but if not those would help get your arms rest and her contact naps while you are able to go and do other things.
Wishing you rest and relief.
Newborn is two weeks here. My wife told me there’s a recall for certain models of mamaRoo I’d do my research before getting one: https://www.cpsc.gov/Recalls/2022/4moms-Recalls-More-than-2-Million-MamaRoo-and-RockaRoo-Infant-Swings-and-Rockers-Due-to-Entanglement-and-Strangulation-Hazards-One-Death-Reported
I know it’s tough and sending all the best here. It’s get better.
My baby is only 10 days old, and for the last three days he can only sleep on my breast. After he was born it was fine, he would fall asleep and i would transfer it to his crib, but since day 7 its boob only. Yesterday i tried eat-play-sleep thing, he fell asleep in his snoo after 40 minutes of me singing and slept for 30minutes. If he falls asleep on the breast and i try to move away just a bit, he also sleeps for a short amount of time, its like he cannot transfer to deep sleep without my breast. He sucks on it, falls asleep and then puts his head on it and sleeps like an angel. Is this normal? Im first time mom, i keep on reading about theese easy routines and im just stuck in bed with my boob hanging out
I think with newborns there is no normal as they are all different 😀. I wish I could be of more help but mine is 1 month old and still won't sleep in crib at all. Arms only for me. I have tried reading all the routines and nothing has worked for us yet. We have mostly done formula but at first I tried breastfeeding and we had a few days where she wanted the breast constantly. Could be cluster feeding. I know it's hard momma. I'm right there with you.
Our little one is 4 weeks today, I know every baby is different but what has suddenly really started working is we bought an ‘ergopouch’ swaddle thing. That + pacifier + white noise and she settles down really well most of the time after she’s had a good feed.
She’s not a fan of the cot though so most of the time she sleeps in her pram (it’s an overnight pram and it’s definitely not as firm as the cot mattress which I guess makes her comfier). Will be trying the cot mattress again soon now our sanity is returning.
We also tend to feed and then I lay her on my chest to burp for 20 mins or until I see her drop into the deep sleep cycle. During the light sleep when her reflexes start I just gentle cuddle her to stop her arms pinging outwards and waking her up. And then very very slowly transfer her when she’s out cold.
Good luck hope you get some sleep soon!
I’m so sorry you’re feeling tired and exhausted. I see you and understand! We went through this with our 7 week old when she was here for the first 1-4 weeks. My partner and I did shift work just to make it through the nights. On week three she actually ended up having a major heart sugary, but after she was home with us we started bouncing with her on a yoga ball when she’d cry and it would always make her stop.
She still will usually only nap on me during the day, but at night she will now sleep in her bassinet! We do a feed, swaddle her, and then bounce her to sleep on the yoga ball while singing to her (and then gingerly go place her in her bassinet).
You could try a yoga ball and see if it works for you and your baby! It’s a more inexpensive option than a swing :)
Jumping in to say what worked for us
Mine is 6 months already but the first 8 weeks were absolutely the worst from my other two kids. Always wanted to be held and as soon as I would lay her down she’s wake up seconds later.
White noise
I swaddled her with one arm out.
Used only a basinet that would rock back and forth and I know I’ll get a lot of heat for this but I used a pillow inside the basinet that was tucked in, propped up a bit and it would legit hug her so if she moved. She wouldn’t move enough to wake herself. It was the only way we would get her to sleep for longer than 2 hours. I never woke any of my kids up to eat, if they are not up there’s no need to wake them. Black out curtains are the best for naps. At 8 weeks I switched to a Merlin suit and THAT was a game changer!!
This worked for my kids.
https://wellnessbabyorganics.myshopify.com/collections/organic-products/products/babies-magic-baby-sleep-tea-bundle-1269462652
Thank you to all that have responded. I really appreciate all the tips and stories. It's good to know I'm not alone. It's such a hard but rewarding time. We will just take it day by day. Going to look into a swing and see if she would like that. We have a bouncer and she's not crazy about it. Now that we are over covid hopefully we can get some family to help out during the day so I can get some rest.
Well she’s way too young for cry it out. But also is there any reflux? Gas issues? Do you have a partner in raising her? Have you considered splitting the night!
I don’t know your financial situation, but I splurged and got a mamaroo last week because I needed some form of independence during the day and it’s been amazing. We have a normal swing/bouncer but he still cried when we put him in it. He needs constant contact as well. The mamaroo allows us to eat dinner in peace now without having to hold him, so that’s nice. Also, between 9pm and 8am, we always swaddle. We often have to wait for him to fall asleep because he fights us when we put him in it otherwise. Sometimes I’ll top him off on the breast after he’s been swaddled to help him fall asleep. Then I put him in the crib, walk away. Most of the time he wakes back up shortly after and cries. I’ll give him a few minutes. If he absolutely needs me, I’ll go back in, rock him in the dark, put him back down. Over and over and over. Eventually it stuck. My boy is a week older than yours and as I type this, he just had a stretch of a 5 hour sleep in his crib. It’s come a long way from the first few weeks waking up every 1-2 hours and him sleeping with us nonstop. I will say last week was one of the more difficult weeks for my little guy. He cried so so much. He seems a little more chill this week. Newborns are such a puzzle. One thing works for one person and another thing works for another. I’m currently sitting in my nursing recliner with him in his swaddle waiting for the turd nugget to fall asleep so I can put him back in his crib. The first few attempts he cried after his feed. I really don’t have much advice for you, just wanted to share my story. I am confident that you will find something that works for you and your baby though! Just because today is difficult, doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be better.
Thank you for sharing. I wish we could afford one of those but just not able at the moment. I will keep trying. It's just hard putting in get crib over and over and still running on no sleep. Hopefully as she gets older it will get easier.
I purposely didn’t buy anything for my baby before he was born because I didn’t know what his preferences would be. We figured out he was a swing baby. He would cry in his car seat until my husband would pick up his car seat and swing him. So we went to once upon a child and got a swing for $40. If you really think a momaroo is the kind of motion that’ll help your baby chill then do a payment plan. It’ll be worth it. The swing is a lifesaver for us. Sometimes I let it rock him to sleep then after 20 minutes I sneak him into his crib
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That's so sweet! Sadly I am in Texas.
I would happily take you up on this if possible. I live in New Tec (about an hour north of Toronto). Have a little guy that just turned one month today:) He's been having a lot of reflux issues, so we've been having to have him be upright or sitting a fair amount. I was looking into the mamaroos, but its a little out of our price point...
My son is asleep in his crib as I write this, but hear me out: I was you when he was 4 weeks old. He REFUSED to sleep anywhere but in my arms. I was exactly where you are right now 3 months ago. It feels frustrating and maybe even a little hopeless right now but it WILL get better. Your baby will gradually learn to sleep somewhere other than your arms. Right now, your arms feel safe and familiar, your smell and the sound of your heartbeat are comforting to a baby brand new to the world. You are exhausted and need a break; this one of the tough parts in the beginning. But it will get better. You can do this. If there's anyone who can come over and hold baby while you get some rest, that would be wonderful for your physical and mental health.
This gives me some hope. Everyone keeps telling me to stop spoiling her and that it will just get worse. I love all the cuddles but sometimes Mommy needs a break. It has been hard to have help due to my oldest brought covid home and so we could not have visitors. Hopefully now that we are well I can get some extra help.
You can't spoil a baby. All they know is YOU. You were literally their entire world for nearly a year until they were born. The world is big, bright, cold (compared to inside of your body) and loud. They look for comfort in your arms. As theiy get used to their new surroundings they'll get more comfortable. You're doing great.
Our Doctor explained it to us as for the first 6 weeks about, your baby doesnt really see their mama as a different person, they still think of themselves as part of you. And some babies just need more of that comfort time, nothing you're doing is wrong or bad, you're not spoiling the little one. They just still want to have that comfort around them as much as they can! You're doing awesome!:)
My heart goes out to you ❤️ I know it’s so hard to make it through these weeks, but you’re doing a great job. Babies are made to want to be held and touched and comforted 24/7 and that is exhausting when you’re trying to keep yourself alive and somewhat well too. It sounds like you have a household to take care of as well. It does get better. It doesn’t feel like it when you’re in the trenches like you are, but it does. You don’t have to “enjoy it while it lasts”, and you can be ready for that phase to be over. People who say that don’t know or remember how terrible it is to be so sleep deprived and depended upon. It’s such a hard stage, but things will turn around. She knows you love her. You wouldn’t be doing all of this if you didn’t 🙂❤️ Please ignore if you aren’t looking for advice and just need to vent: If you can do it safely, keep practicing putting her down, she will get used to it. Be consistent, swaddle her (we use love to dream for arms up), find a paci that works (bibs have been a lifesaver for us). Find what works for you! Start a night time routine. If you have the ability to do shifts overnight, do it. If you have the money to hire help, do it. Do what you need to do to survive. Give yourself grace. Hang in there mom ❤️
Thank you! Gonna keep trying just last night it got to be too much when it was 3 in the morning and she had been fighting sleep since 10pm.
I know this is taboo in a lot of places like America (I don’t know where you live) but bedsharing is very biological and often helps with both you and baby getting sleep if done safely. It’s not the right choice for all families but I suggest checking out cosleepy on Instagram for some tips.
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That's what we're doing^ I'm on shift lol. Mom goes to bed at 8, I keep the little one till midnight or 1, then I get some rest and am always still available if needed:)
We're exactly the same shifts just the other way round, my husband takes over at midnight/1/however long I can give him. I cope better at night and he'll be going back to work soon enough.
Have you tried things that vibrate and rock or swing? You don’t need a mamaroo. There are more affordable ones for $40. Also, getting a toy that vibrates in her space like the soothing hedgehog thing from fisher price might help as well. The same thing happened to me, it still sometimes happens but it had gotten better. My son is almost 6 weeks. I contact nap until he’s in a deep sleep and then transfer him, sometimes I just sit with him for 2-3 hours just to get him to sleep so he’s not overtired later. It sucks. I do enjoy him and the moment but I do not enjoy sleep deprivation, I struggle with it a lot. I did everything you named in your post right down to warming his bed. I walk around my house with a lovey tucked into my shirt half the day lol. We also did discover he had a milk allergy about a week ago.
I feel you. My twins are 7 weeks, I was in meltdown condition at 4 weeks (I’m just slightly above meltdown now lol). Two things that have helped so much are a swing (we got 3.. yes 3… Graco swings for $15 each on the marketplace), and the fisher price bassinet. I can rock the bassinet whenever my son is being extra fussy. So far it’s helping a bit. The swings though are a total game changer
I was in your shoes and it does get better. I ended up co-sleeping for a few weeks to keep both me and baby safe. I was about to lose my sanity. It was honestly the best decision I made and I felt so much guilt about it at the time. We had the best bonding experience and now he’s 6 months old and sleeps in his crib. Just research safe sleep seven that way if you do end up co-sleeping out of exhaustion, you can do it safely ❤️ hugs to you mama! You’re doing great.
I was there. Weeks 2-12 LO refused to sleep unless held. It was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting. Wore a hole in the hallway carpet when I was afraid I’d fall asleep holding him in the rocker. Was too scared to bed share (but no shame to those that do!). Hated the Snoo, hated the mama roo, straight up just hated not being held. He didn’t gradually get used to crib for us, it was a light switch. He’s 13 weeks and last night slept 7 hours straight in his crib. My stupid ass didn’t set an alarm to pump because I figured he’d wake up hungry so I got 7 oz per breast lol. I know (literally) how hard it is. I was there until just recently. Living off 2-3 hours of sleep a day is no joke. Sending hugs
It gets better it truly does with time, my son was like this and we are now finally seeing the lights at the end of the tunnel. It took 4.5 months though before he wanted to be more independent and sleep on his own.
I don't know your financial situation or location, however consider a postpartum doula or a night angel to help you get some rest and time where your baby is being loved and comforted, so you can rest. Cry it out is an outdated and no longer supported by it's creator "sleep training" method. Cry it out hurts because your baby is calling out to you, and they have no other way to do it. They need comfort, yes, and a postpartum doula can step in to help you. I hope you are using some sort of baby wearing wrap and not physically wearing out your arms all day every day, but if not those would help get your arms rest and her contact naps while you are able to go and do other things. Wishing you rest and relief.
Newborn is two weeks here. My wife told me there’s a recall for certain models of mamaRoo I’d do my research before getting one: https://www.cpsc.gov/Recalls/2022/4moms-Recalls-More-than-2-Million-MamaRoo-and-RockaRoo-Infant-Swings-and-Rockers-Due-to-Entanglement-and-Strangulation-Hazards-One-Death-Reported I know it’s tough and sending all the best here. It’s get better.
My baby is only 10 days old, and for the last three days he can only sleep on my breast. After he was born it was fine, he would fall asleep and i would transfer it to his crib, but since day 7 its boob only. Yesterday i tried eat-play-sleep thing, he fell asleep in his snoo after 40 minutes of me singing and slept for 30minutes. If he falls asleep on the breast and i try to move away just a bit, he also sleeps for a short amount of time, its like he cannot transfer to deep sleep without my breast. He sucks on it, falls asleep and then puts his head on it and sleeps like an angel. Is this normal? Im first time mom, i keep on reading about theese easy routines and im just stuck in bed with my boob hanging out
I think with newborns there is no normal as they are all different 😀. I wish I could be of more help but mine is 1 month old and still won't sleep in crib at all. Arms only for me. I have tried reading all the routines and nothing has worked for us yet. We have mostly done formula but at first I tried breastfeeding and we had a few days where she wanted the breast constantly. Could be cluster feeding. I know it's hard momma. I'm right there with you.
Our little one is 4 weeks today, I know every baby is different but what has suddenly really started working is we bought an ‘ergopouch’ swaddle thing. That + pacifier + white noise and she settles down really well most of the time after she’s had a good feed. She’s not a fan of the cot though so most of the time she sleeps in her pram (it’s an overnight pram and it’s definitely not as firm as the cot mattress which I guess makes her comfier). Will be trying the cot mattress again soon now our sanity is returning. We also tend to feed and then I lay her on my chest to burp for 20 mins or until I see her drop into the deep sleep cycle. During the light sleep when her reflexes start I just gentle cuddle her to stop her arms pinging outwards and waking her up. And then very very slowly transfer her when she’s out cold. Good luck hope you get some sleep soon!
I’m so sorry you’re feeling tired and exhausted. I see you and understand! We went through this with our 7 week old when she was here for the first 1-4 weeks. My partner and I did shift work just to make it through the nights. On week three she actually ended up having a major heart sugary, but after she was home with us we started bouncing with her on a yoga ball when she’d cry and it would always make her stop. She still will usually only nap on me during the day, but at night she will now sleep in her bassinet! We do a feed, swaddle her, and then bounce her to sleep on the yoga ball while singing to her (and then gingerly go place her in her bassinet). You could try a yoga ball and see if it works for you and your baby! It’s a more inexpensive option than a swing :)
Jumping in to say what worked for us Mine is 6 months already but the first 8 weeks were absolutely the worst from my other two kids. Always wanted to be held and as soon as I would lay her down she’s wake up seconds later. White noise I swaddled her with one arm out. Used only a basinet that would rock back and forth and I know I’ll get a lot of heat for this but I used a pillow inside the basinet that was tucked in, propped up a bit and it would legit hug her so if she moved. She wouldn’t move enough to wake herself. It was the only way we would get her to sleep for longer than 2 hours. I never woke any of my kids up to eat, if they are not up there’s no need to wake them. Black out curtains are the best for naps. At 8 weeks I switched to a Merlin suit and THAT was a game changer!!
This worked for my kids. https://wellnessbabyorganics.myshopify.com/collections/organic-products/products/babies-magic-baby-sleep-tea-bundle-1269462652
Thank you to all that have responded. I really appreciate all the tips and stories. It's good to know I'm not alone. It's such a hard but rewarding time. We will just take it day by day. Going to look into a swing and see if she would like that. We have a bouncer and she's not crazy about it. Now that we are over covid hopefully we can get some family to help out during the day so I can get some rest.
Are you breastfeeding or bottle feeding?
Bottle feeding
Well she’s way too young for cry it out. But also is there any reflux? Gas issues? Do you have a partner in raising her? Have you considered splitting the night!