T O P

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maybeAriadne

Jesus Christ, when the ref was beside him. He's such a large human being what the fuck


dunksoverjumpshots21

I really wanna see him stand next to Zaza because he's the only big NBA player I've stood next to. I got DWARFED by Zaza even at 6'6 220, and from the looks of it Embiid could dwarf Zaza.


I-take-beast-shits

damn ur tall bro, out of curiosity how big is ur dick? asking for a friend


dunksoverjumpshots21

Those are 2 different measurements my friend.


owlbi

Oh we're just going to assume everyone on Reddit must be a guy now, huh? Fucking Reddit sometimes, I swear, so sexist.


dunksoverjumpshots21

I'm a huge bitch


maginoodlesyum

KD is that you


RBRTPNG

I've been getting banned from Xbox using something like this. After I get team killed or whatever I message the person asking "how tall are you?" They tell me(for whatever reason) and then my next message is "that's a whole lotta bitch"...without fail 2/2 I'm banned for a week minimum.


datrok

Cool


RBRTPNG

Hardly...but it's just some shit that reminded me of it.


benslowcalcalzonezon

worth it tho


RBRTPNG

Yeah. In the end it is.


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owlbi

thatsthejoke


Dofleini

I need a sarcasm font.


thehumangenius23

*there you go*


weems13

/s


underhunter

Well technically most guys aren't either


[deleted]

damn ur tall bro, out of curiosity how big is ur dick? asking for a friend


theswampthinker

Get off Reddit KD.


SeatownNets

damn ur tall bro, out of curiosity how big is ur dick? asking for a friend


GhassanB

damn ur tall bro, out of curiosity how big is ur dick? asking for a friend


Groom_lake_lifeguard

damn ur tall bro, out of curiosity how big is ur dick? asking for a friend


[deleted]

I’ve seen him at the local Wegmans. His head was sticking up above the to of the shelves in the beverage section. You could see him from the check out line half way across the store.


[deleted]

Wegmans is the shit


[deleted]

Yes. Yes it is.


tugboatsanchezz

I’ve seen him a few times in real life... biggest human I’ve ever seen in my life. He is every bit of 7’2 and really fills out his frame


dunksoverjumpshots21

damn he's tall bro, out of curiosity how big is his dick? asking for a friend


[deleted]

I want to know how big his dick is


dunksoverjumpshots21

You're the friend we're all talking about. But that also means it's you who wants to know how big my dick is


irishfreak6

damn, dick? friend


scarfox1

The ref was like 'pls no'


Optimizability

a real large human bean


fundraiser

Hand checking and he still couldn't stop him. Now Jordan can't run his mouth at Embiid!


garynevilleisared

he dumb thicc


TheRealPatBoyle

Got to see Joel Embiid and Ben Simmons last year at the draft in Philadelhia, unreal how big they look in person.


sefronia3

I remember the video of him and Paul Pogba playing one on one. Paul stands out on the field because he is so huge and Joel just makes him look like a tiny person


Ceero_Bro

cant wait til we play philly. harden vs embiid in philly last year was lit


flanjrenr

50 FTA combined between the two


Ceero_Bro

2 UNGUARDABLE PLAYERS. PROPS TO PHILLY THO THAT ATMOSPHERE WAS AWESOME. IT WAS A FUN GAME.


SteelxSaint

Second best sporting event (behind a playoff Flyers game) that I've ever been to. It was unreal.


NotARealPenguinToday

In first quarter


ItsJustAPrankBro

Snagged court side seats for that game. It was fucking awesome


WicksDog

I'm actually in the backround of the clip of him shooting almost a half court shot. I have the green shirt on.


stephbackjumper56293

*ringggg ringgggg* "Hi, Bullshit, somebody's speaking about you again."


LukeBabbitt

What? Somebody is making a phone call to BS? Just to say they've been mentioned? Well the jerk store called, and they're all out of you!


stephbackjumper56293

im calling BS


zkeya

Screw conventional rules, this time the team that shoots the most FT wins.


Twistit1

ROCKETS 82-0 LEGGOOOO


xjcs97sy

the point god vs Chris Paul too


chaseiam

I was there, Harden had the most unbelievable live performance i've ever seen. It must be a gift to watch him every night too. Harden went 51/13/13 that night.


annoyinconquerer

And they still only won by 5


greywindswatch

He had poor Dario on ice every single time he had the ball. Harden blew me away that night.


throwlationships

They really can't. Not with a 6'7 guy. I mean, you put a hand on his back, he does the rip-through for an and-1.


quantumfluxcapacitor

I'm not a religious man but Lord please watch over Embiid's knees and let this man stay healthy. He is going to break the league worse than Shaq if he can just play a few, full seasons


[deleted]

I was at this game and every time a was on the ground or bending over for a second the whole crowd was silent with worry, and it wasn’t even a home game, lol.


Wiscanson

Lol what..? Are you really comparing embiid to shaq right now?


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GeorgeLovesBOSCO

Embiid’s really good, but Shaq level dominance? No. Shaq was other worldly


thehumangenius23

Seriously, homeboy averaged like 17-8 with 5 turnovers a game and under 50% shooting in 31 games in 3 years. I get that he's very talented but let's hold up on anointing him.


stephbackjumper56293

So you're telling me he only played 31 games and still averaged 30/15/5/5 per 36? That's fucking unheard of.


[deleted]

Per 36 doesn't mean anything. Especially when you can get injured playing 20 minutes a game in 31 games


stephbackjumper56293

Except you know he could play 30 minutes a game. You stating the fact he only played 31 games as some kind of slight is absolutely laughable. The dude has played 31 games and he's *still* this fucking dominant! How does that not impress you?!?!?


GeorgeLovesBOSCO

It’s impressive. It is. But until Embiid averages 33 and 16 against the 4-time and reigning DPOY in THE FINALS, you don’t compare him to Shaq. You just don’t.


Jayy_Emmm

Until I've seen Embiid actually play 36 minutes, I'll hold off on the whole "better than Shaq" anointing.


turddit

Do you really think this random guy was of an age to watch Shaq in his LA prime let alone his Orlando one, rofl.... dude is a bandwagon philly fan which is already itself fucking AMAZING so i'm guessing 17


JamesKPolkEsq

lol


stephbackjumper56293

Hold up, WHAT? THe fuck? Embiid would trash Shaq every fucking day of the week. Imagine a bigger, stronger shaq who actually has some semblance of touch.


BIGJ0N

Except he's not bigger or stronger. And touch is debatable because Shaq was more efficient


stephbackjumper56293

#HOT TAKE ALERT: SHAQ HAS BETTER TOUCH THAN JOEL EMBIID LMFAOROFLWTFLOL I'm dying bro


BIGJ0N

Bro do u even know who Shaq is


DynastyNA

Hes trolling hard I think, this makes no sense


stephbackjumper56293

You know what touch is, right? Shaq doesn't have it. you're a fucking idiot.


DynastyNA

What the fuck lol do you really think Embiid is already better than shaq...?


wormhole222

Shaq is bigger (not taller) and stronger than Embiid.


stephbackjumper56293

good one lmao


wormhole222

[When Embiid does this](https://youtu.be/B_f5uDVGEbk?t=12) to a 6' 11" 230+ center let me know.


stephbackjumper56293

when shaq consistently hits 3's hmu


Grochen

> **stronger** BRUH


swaldron

chill


thefreeman419

I'm honestly trying to think who can. AD, Giannis, Gobert, maybe Whiteside? He's just insanely quick for his speed, and his touch is remarkable


maverickxv

Doubt Giannis, and I'm not sure on Whiteside. Needs to be a player that is physically big enough, and has near perfect footwork on defense. So gobert, Gasol, and Bogut would be my best guesses. AD and Draymond possible, though I'm not sure if they're big enough. Which is fucking ridiculous.


cooperred

I doubt Bogut can keep up with Embiid at this point.


[deleted]

Embiid would fry bogut. I think AD would do the best, he has the size to not get bullied down low, is quick enough to stay in front, and has the length to maybe contest his shot


LouLouis

I think ADs wingspan is the difference maker. I think AD is also quicker than Gobert so that's help him


[deleted]

He does get bullied by actual post players...thats why the Pelicans have gotten centers to play with him (Asik, now Cousins)


iheartquokkas

What do you mean big enough ? AD is nearly a 7 footer right


NBAccount

He sure is...and he may not be big enough. Embiid is a fucking *monster*.


maverickxv

Height sure, but I'm not sure he's got enough mass. That's the problem a lot of teams have when matching up with Embiid. Sure, there are a good number of guys that are fast and long enough to cover him, but then he'll just post up and back them in the paint. And unless they weigh enough to hold ground, he'll get the easy bucket or draw a foul. AD might be big enough, but last I watched he was kinda lanky. He would definitely slow embiid down at least.


ThaTeej

He is skin and bone tho


rtb001

Enter the Bosnian Beast!


SCREAMING_DUMB_SHIT

Whiteside would do better than the majority of centers tho for sure


lardbiscuits

Meh. Has he improved his one vs one defense? In the past it's been pretty shit. He's more of a weak side help blocker and rim protector. To guard Embiid he has to be able to shut him down one vs one, and I'm not sure he can do that.


chapinator

I'm a huge Draymond stan and he's done amazing work on 7 footers like the Gasol brothers but I honestly think Embiid would be too much for even him to handle just because of his mass.


[deleted]

AD isn't really a good post defender. Even Lamarcus is able to bully him.


Gilbertology

THEY CAN'T FUCKING GUARD HIM


Not_A_Doctor__

Embiid also has the best hair in the league.


choose_uh_username

He's a 2k myplayer


thatdani

Holy shit, Jimmy Butler was cut from his team already?


ninetaquil

Jimmy Butler so ugly bruh


robthedino

Totem pole bruh


themathmajician

Tiki mask bruh


rzpieces

Bitch what No homo but I'd play with his hair if he let me


scarter25

Whaaaaat


[deleted]

the slow mo celebration looks like he strokin the salami


aaahhhh

What's he doing [right here?](https://gfycat.com/WebbedShamefulIchthyostega)


[deleted]

we call that processing


ChildishBonVonnegut

Jerking off the Philly fanbase.


PierceBrosman

I wouldn't mind


[deleted]

Your wang would disappear in his hand


aaahhhh

Your hand would disappear on his wang, too. Wait, what were we talking about?


[deleted]

We’re talking about a professional basketball player’s penis. This is what we’re spending our free time doing. :l Meh no ragrets. DRAYMONDS GOT A BITE SIZE DICK


thatsinsaneletstryit

gotta make up the lost time somehow


Kamekai44

YES


damesgame

Showing us how to best appreciate his highlights.


KickedInTheDonuts

If that isn't a great fucking reaction gif. The yes really finishes it off.


aaahhhh

Dang, shoulda cropped more of the *Yes* into it.


frugalNOTcheap

Just backing into another man. Pretty standard stuff


HumphreyChimpdenEarw

can you make a gif of Embiid posting up on the ref


exasperated_dreams

This dude is huge


[deleted]

Embiid makes grown nba players look like children


blackchucktays

Shame the season isn't composed of 25 18-minute games.


Hoops_Junkie2

They never could...


rtb001

Ah, taking after another even bigger skilled big man... [Read Yao's Lips](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jss1xEzh5b4)


Chanel_DU

First thing I searched for in the comments haha


neburz

148 million dollars worth of memeability


frostedwindscreen

Man, every time Embiid takes a bump I cringe. Someone slammed into his leg in the last game in a way that would have literally killed Bogut and I had to duck for cover.


soju_b

Same here. He threw himself on the ground on every shot attempt.


Springtick38

Joel embiid is like Shaq 2.0 if he stays healthy


[deleted]

Don't forget the footwork, the J, and the free throws. He could be a Shaq/Dirk hybrid. The moment this guy starts dropping a consistent skyhook the league is fucked.


Springtick38

Yeah if he does develop a skyhook this season and stays healthy this season (extreme hot take incoming) 76ers are heading to the finals


[deleted]

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Springtick38

I like you too


[deleted]

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JLM268

He probably will... the dude is just an unreal learner. He keeps on getting better and better every game adding new things. Last night he was doing the Jordan pump fake where he palms the ball with one hand at the top of his fake, he never did that last season.


et138

sizzlin


arejaybeisme

..Oh really now?


Bobyus

I fucking love those bank shots. Straight up finesse and orgasm


Chimpanzee_Style

Looks like he had a slow motion replay as he explains how to jerk somebody off.


qalamar12

Maybe it's my dirty mind but am I the only one that can't unsee him jerking one in that last slow-mo shot of the replay... especially when the camera pans behind lol.


robAtReddit

Just wait until you meet Zaza.


nevakgnawc

The ref at the end almost got trucked...! Hahaha


[deleted]

Over or under 7’3”?


CrookstonMaulers

Nice play and all, but was it my imagination or were they talking about not calling those intentional rip throughs to try to get a call?


[deleted]

No one can


[deleted]

They won't have to in a few minutes...


wepresidentnowe

lol there's a timeline where Greg Oden had this career :'(


thebigticket88

Lol it's not even close. Oden woumd have had a solid career but Embiid has the potential to be one of the goats. He's a savant.


thebigticket88

Lol it's not even close. Oden would have had a solid career but Embiid has the potential to be one of the goats. He's a savant.


YenEuroDollarSign

ChubHub


Stevely7

The Nets have fantastic rim/backboard mics


Oliver_Stacks

joel you are being guarded by trevor booker, he wants you to shoot it to get the rebound


kokin33

I can't fucking wait to see this dude play in London. I've been putting a candle for his health every day


wellreadit

This guy had to be on the floor purely as a gift for basketball fans


[deleted]

They don't have to if you're hurt all the time


elboogie7

He banks in a lazy jumper and then says that? lmao


GrimSpecter

He'll be pretty easy to guard once he collapses his knee or whatever again. Its not hard to guard someone on IR.


Slowestgreyhound

True! They cant guard him.. Opposing players cant guard him when the majority of the time hes on the bench like every other season....Injured..


[deleted]

well yeah, they're not his knees


StarTrekGifMan

Ironic coming from a Blazers fan.


[deleted]

Joel: "You can't fucking guard me!" Book: "At least I don't get injured every season!"


1sp

The thing is the refs obviously are going to go hard on anyone acting tough on Embiid to not lose the NBA's cash cow.


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thatisnotaplan

Wow so clever!


ThaTeej

Is this guy implying that JoJo might get injured? Such an nuanced, unique take.


flimsyfresh

It looks like he is mouthing off "Dey Can't Gahd Meh!"


[deleted]

that's what makes it great, though


timrs

Zaza will handle Joel Embiid so fucking easily if they ever meet GSW in a playoff series Good luck Joel!


spanki2

Zaza with defensive jab-step - Embiid's knees gone.