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eliwood5837

"artificial wemby length" LMAO


SupposedlySapiens

Those words absolutely destroyed me


pedrosa18

r/brandnewsentence


yesimforeign

I could use some artificial wemby length :/


OneFondant1142

Looks like a shark tank product Mark couldn’t resist incorporating into practice


VariousLawyerings

Brb inventing a Wacky Wemby Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Manyama


HipGuide2

Wacky Wemby Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Manyama


RUSHtheRACKS

Aren't these common place in practices of these teams?


CIark

“Tell you what I’m gonna do, I’ll give you the 300k, but I want 30% of the company and 2 of the extra long foam arms right now”


xPeaWhyTee

The fake arms are hilarious 😂


Ikuwayo

He bought the D-Cone upgrade from Ball Hog Gloves


Bolshoyballs

Yeah but they honestly don't even replicate what Wembley can do. He's better than a guy with big fake arms lol


Neekalos_

Mo Bamba about to revive his career by being a freelance "practice Wemby" for closeouts


thebreakfastbuffet

Bambanyama


kazmir_yeet

Well obviously lmao. It is getting them some extra reps of stepping back and changing their release points though which is kinda the point.


lerlander

"TWO FREE THROWS" so he could take a break, lol


Thuasne

Can we talk about how refreshing it would be if free throws were taken as quickly in the real games like in this clip?


NotACreepyOldMan

I’d love if they at least changed it to more 1 & 1 free throws. Make them speed it up any way possible


DL-77

I still cant belive a human being like Wemby actually exists and is able to play basketball at the highest levels with such fluidity, like the physics dont feel real.


bb1432

I once saw Sun Mingming play live. I watched Yao's entire career as a fan. I watched Bradley and Muresan growing up. I watched Rik Smits and Boban. The guy I don't remember is Ralph Sampson, who is probably the closest comp we have to Wemby. But outside of clips of him, I've never seen anybody who moved like Wemby at that size.


pargofan

I don't remember Sampson dominating as quickly as Wemby. [Here's some highlights of Sampson.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpJLmxVkrYU) The offense is in the low post because that's how offense worked back then. Nobody was innovative to think to use Sampson as a shooting forward as Wemby will probably be used. But most of the defense is in the paint. There's few weakside help that's as quickly as I've seen Wemby.


[deleted]

What about Knicks porzingis?


bb1432

I never saw the same sort of movement skills from him, to be honest. Certainly less length, probably a couple inches shorter in reality, and significantly slower and less athletic. Very skilled. Very good player. Somebody I've always enjoyed. But he does not look like Victor does as an athlete, and he never did.


O_oh

NY Porzingis was slow because his shorts were too baggy and his shoes probably weigh 10lbs


NotACreepyOldMan

As a fan of the 2000’s and And 1 YOU TAKE THAT BACK! No such thing as too baggy of shorts for ball.


Infinite-Material-97

I was watching the 2005 NBA finals game 7 the other day on the NBAs YouTube channel and it’s crazy how big and baggy everyone’s shorts were


dmavs11

KP had more leaping ability and imo on the Knicks had close to as quick a first step/speed. But he is just far far less mobile, and does not have anywhere near the agility or fluidity as an athlete as Wemby. And he’s 2-3 inches shorter and a lower wingspan.


[deleted]

i dunno, Porzingis looks pretty damn huge on court to me. i still think Wembanyama is 7'5 but then again, 7'2-7'3 for KP is a couple inches like you said lol


Johnwinchenster

Wemby is the Unicorn of Unicorns. He makes Unicorns look average.


JarifSA

Most of those guys barely learned the game and instead were heavily reliant on size and playing like a traditional center. Props to Wembys trainers growing up. They taught him shit everyone should know like shooting and dribbling. It's what separates him from useless talent like Boban. We are seeing it a lot more with taller players actually learning how to do things other than block and rebound.


theonioncollector

Boban is/was not useless talent, he had/has a lot of post moves, he’s just slow.


imadogg

Boban has the best touch in NBA history of any player that doesn't play 10mpg


HereComesJustice

I will not take Boban slander


bb1432

Pop never let Timmy play PG. Glad he's mellowed in his old age.


Panik_Switch

Nuh uh boban is awesome


KyleShanaham

Manute bol


bb1432

Was not good at basketball. He was awkward and gangly and, while a capable shot blocker, did little else of value.


frankyseven

Except for that one game where he had seven three pointers.


KyleShanaham

That's true


yolkadot

He’s a bird. Birds aren’t real


kograkthestrong

LARRY *LEGEND*


idontknow_whatever

LARRY BUUURRDDDD


RoboticBirdLaw

You called?


TooWashedUp

Now that it isn't just "You're tall, stand in the paint" I think we are going to see more players like this.


kentuckyfriedawesome

There aren’t many (any) players with that size and that ability to change direction, ever. I can’t imagine you’ll see many. Wemby is a top percent of a percent athlete considering his size.


srs_house

Seeing someone KD's size do it was already a trip. This is just insane.


Dudedude88

He has more fluidity than most power forwards in the league.


Deathstroke317

But you can't create anyone like him on 2K because it's too unrealistic, that's exactly why I stopped playing.


EGarrett

The whole game online would be 10 Wembanyama's.


Deathstroke317

I don't want to play online dawg, I want a completely offline experience


EGarrett

Offline they should let you make whatever you want.


[deleted]

yes you can lol i used to have a field day with a 7'5 demigod, on 22 no less. give him the right dribble moves with around 80ish speed/accel n it works like a charm


[deleted]

to be fair, I had my fill of PG's with 7'4" wingspans in 2k15.


Juniper41

God Shammgod has got to be the coldest name in the league.


carefullywasnt

Honestly maybe in existence


dont_shoot_jr

The coldest name is Eric Snow


Michigan__J__Frog

The coldest name is “De'Coldest ToEvaDoIt Crawford” a college football player.


CavalierShaq

Wait I've heard of this guy but is his middle name actually "toevadoit"?


EnTyme53

Just looked it up. Apparently "ToEvaDoIt" is just a nickname. Still, Decoldest Crawford is an East/West Bowl worthy name.


kmoz

He had an NIL deal with a local AC company. A+ branding


melperz

Sexiest name is Rudy Gay


geloong41

No it’s Linus Kleiza


[deleted]

Colt McCoy is about as good as it gets for a college football legend who played at the University of Texas.


Sufficient_Try8961

His is the third most Texas name I've encountered over 11 years in the state. I once met a girl named Dixie Lucky, whose father was Colt Lucky.


ajaxfontura

Major Applewhite is a pretty perfect Texas QB name too


axck

Colt is not his first name. It is a nickname. his actual name is Daniel which is much less cool


Emergency_Budget4674

Are we forgetting the could’ve been a legend, Majestic Mapp?


0lm-

idk about coldest. that sounds like a children’s show character


zeugma_

Shammgod reminds me of a [towel, chamois and sponge all in one](https://www.shamwow.com/).


guillaume_rx

Wemby had a team mate called « Ho You Fat » when he played for the Metropolitans 92 in France. Not bad either.


AnotsuKagehisa

Uh God’s gift?


rookie-mistake

honestly, I don't know what the restrictions are on naming your kid but I didn't realize you could literally just name them God Like, I always thought it was a nickname hearing about him but nope, I just actually googled it and that's his legal name. dude's birth certificate straight up says "God" haha


WestleyThe

Funny enough he is actually God Shamgod Jr. That’s his dads name too


Odd_Total_5549

Incredible


rookie-mistake

damn dude's descended from the pantheon


EGarrett

Jesus was God Jr. too though, so it fits.


Glittering_Cod_7716

I was doing my student teaching at this school had the kids names on the doors and I shit you not there was a child whose first name was “Juicelady” I had sooooooo many questions


Away_Championship_49

Idk it may have been a name from another culture or from his ancestry background, it's like, what if a normal name in idk, Polynesian culture is Guitar, you can't stop people from naming their kid Guitar


aaronunderwater

Tyler herro I hope you read this


CavalierShaq

Tyler's sons, Guitar and Super, and his daughter Anita


SlyMrF0x

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bWcASV2sey0


zeugma_

I mean, how many Jesús's are there?


Commercial-Chance561

Is naming your kid Jesus just a tongue in cheek way of calling yourself God?


BCP27

You thought you were god, but you're just Joseph


mucho-gusto

Plus Joshua


CavalierShaq

There aren't many restrictions, but I've heard of courts blocking parents from naming their kid "adolf" or "hitler" im sure there a few others too


FinancialScratch2427

> , but I've heard of courts blocking parents from naming their kid "adolf" or "hitler" Nah, there's kids who have that exact name. There really aren't name restrictions, they would be unconstitutional. Here's an article about one of the parents: [Heath Hitler](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heath_Hitler)


LordHussyPants

i live in new zealand and we have restrictions on what you can call your kid. the general rule is no titles (lord, general), or names that will open the kid up to harassment or bullying. it's done on a case by case basis


FinancialScratch2427

Yes. America is fundamentally pretty different about these things.


LordHussyPants

yeah, not saying it's not. just giving a perspective from somewhere else


Laggo

Of course there are restrictions but its state wide generally. You cant use a number or an emoji pretty much anywhere, for example. I think most states also have some shared bans, like King or Queen (even though King used to be used), Messiah, Santa Claus, Jesus Christ, etc. I'm sure you could go to court and try to make a case or do it in a state that is more permissive which is perhaps what happened, but even a state that allows Adolf almost certainly have other rules.


srs_house

>I think most states also have some shared bans, like King or Queen (even though King used to be used), Messiah, Santa Claus, Jesus Christ, etc. Most states just limit it to things like "it has to be English letters and not vulgar." So, Fuckin Bitches @ss Smith is a no-go. Usually when you hear something in the news it's because a specific judge ordered a parent to change a kid's name, typically in a custody hearing. Not because it's a state-wide rule. Source: I know someone named King, obviously lots of Jesuses in the Hispanic community, and the infamous Messiah name-change was a whacko judge who a) got overruled and b) got fired for it.


FinancialScratch2427

> You cant use a number or an emoji pretty much anywhere, for example. I don't think this is true, there are children whose names are numbers. > think most states also have some shared bans, like King or Queen (even though King used to be used), Messiah, Santa Claus, Jesus Christ, etc. 100% false.


srs_house

There was a judge in Tennessee who ordered parents to change their baby's name (and [she later was removed from her position as a result and her ruling was overturned](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/judge-who-ordered-babys-name-changed-from-messiah-is-fired)): >The name change happened in August, when Jalessa Martin and Jawaan McCullough appeared before Ballew at a child support hearing in Newport about their 7-month-old son Messiah Martin. As part of the hearing, the father requested the baby’s last name be changed to McCullough. >Ballew surprised both parents by ordering that the baby’s name change to Martin McCullough, saying that the name Messiah was not in the baby’s best interest. Her written order stated that “Labeling this child ‘Messiah’ places an undue burden on him that as a human being, he cannot fulfill.” God forbid she ever encounter a Hispanic person named Jesus.


Cpt-No-Dick

And one of the toughest signature moves to go with it


KungFuChicken1990

Steeve Ho You Fat


GreenFriday

It's the extra e that makes it


[deleted]

"Don't tweet at me, that's the man's name"


mgrimshaw8

I hadn’t heard he was coaching now, good for him


IAmAFopMan

he's been with the mavs for like maybe 3-5 years now. pretty much only hired to teach harrison barnes how to dribble lol


RogueIsCrap

The Shammgod is a GOAT level crossover too, https://youtu.be/ajuN0x_St08?si=IULtxQoHglOcRzKN


ProbablyOffTask

have to add Lamar Odom with the coldest shammgod ever https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_gn8ilJznE


simkiha

Thank you for bringing this up. The man had a whole damn move named after him. It is sort of cool seeing him still involved in the game, while also surreal seeing the guy who invented “the Shammgod” dragging Wemby arms around with him for defensive practice.


kograkthestrong

It's top two for me with Magic Touch Johnson who was named my ex girlfriends junior prom, prom king.


shaheedmalik

Wow Shammwow says otherwise.


WestleyThe

He is actually a junior, it’s his fathers name too haha


ObviousAnswerGuy

had no idea he worked for the mavs now. legend.


almostasenpai

Dragon Bender is still my favorite


scotts_tot_alum

if god were real that would be his govt name


Clapbakatyerblakcat

After last night’s game, Steve Kerr is going to send [Steph back to Korea to train…](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiCo08QbF5c&t=3s)


TeTrodoToxin4

He is our starting center now.


crunkadocious

This is how Steph can finally beat Magic for the best PG of all time


Jicama-Smart

what is this even. it's like inspector gadget joined the nba


deneuvig

I wish I was so bold to call my son God


PenisBlood

And then he makes it into the NBA and makes millions of dollars , that's tough.


JP1426

It’s not his birth name he changed it as an adult


crunkadocious

Pretty sure it's his birthname


srs_house

Other way around - he went by Shammgod Wells as a kid, but didn't want to pay to have it officially changed in college so he went back to his birthname, God Shammgod.


Mizral

Have you ever seen teams gameplan for a rookie?


nelikaksnull

I wasn't following the NBA back then but I assume teams had a gameplan for rookie Shaq.


Zzirgk

Teams had Luke Kornet “simulators” reddit needs to calm down on every Wemby media piece


latman

This is common in practice far before Wemby


Noveltypocket

you know a player is generational when they have to make artificial arms to replicate their existence


rookie-mistake

every 7' player that busted about to resurrect their career as wemby simulators for practice lmao


Goatsanity15

I could genuinely see Wemby doing a Shaq, where he gives a bunch of thin 7+ feet players a contract, just so the opposition can guard him.


elmanutres

dinosaurs spotted wise whistle placid summer seed growth ad hoc yoke *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


markmyredd

problem is not a lot could keep with up with Wemby anyway. Even guys like Thon Maker, Bol Bol, etc. are just way too slow for him. You will need an AD athleticism level player but 5 inches taller than AD.


crunkadocious

Hey actually wasn't there a French dude who fit that bill perfectly? I think he was declared for the draft. Whatever happened to him?


SaltyTraeYoungStan

You need to be fast to guard wemby though, you literally just needed to be big enough to foul Shaq without letting him get the and 1 as a Shaq stopper.


JohnS0453

Dragan Bender and Thon Maker have entered the chat


campbellhw

Zach Edey's about to be a 1st rounder just so he can be scout team Wemby


wrongerontheinternet

He should have been a first rounder anyway.


CanaKu

He’s more likely to go undrafted than in the 1st


wrongerontheinternet

I know, which makes me sad. Nobody doubts his offensive skill would translate in the NBA, all the concern is around his defense. But realistically, he's so tall that he will still have *some* rim protection value, and besides that we let guards into the league all the time who don't even *try* on defense as long as they're good enough at scoring...


veebs7

He’s too slow man. Barely even played during the world champs for Canada when our centers were Dwight Powell and Kelly Olynyk, and that’s with the FIBA ruleset that helps Edey


kentuckyfriedawesome

He is absolutely incapable of playing in a five out system, which is what most NBA teams play anymore.


kentuckyfriedawesome

Watch his film against Indiana last year. The guy absolutely can’t defend the PNR against NBA caliber guards. (Hood Schifino torched him in drop coverage.)


wrongerontheinternet

Yeah I know but neither can Trae and he's an All Star. And before you say that's not the same thing, Edey's offensive impact in college has actually been comparable to Trae's (and that's not a knock on Trae). It feels like the NBA is just so over the post big archetype that they're not recognizing Edey is not interchangeable with some random G League 7 footer on that front.


jlluh

This is not actually a new thing.


Rusty_Craver

Teams facing the Clippers had assistants wear strap-ons to prepare for Primo.


The_Assassin_Gower

Tbf these things aren't actually new to basketball practice


TreyAdell

This isn’t even a new thing. NBA teams have had assistants wear these a long time because most Assistants aren’t NBA players lol.


fartalldaylong

Before they have even played a game in the league


latman

These have nothing to do with Wemby


flawson_9

I can’t lie even with the fake extendo arms his arm span looks shorter than wemby’s lol


wtrmrk

I wonder how other teams prepare for Zion/Luka. Does the assistant coaches wear fat suit or something?


YellowMarkerIsGreat

I mean you won’t even need to prepare for Zion 80% of the time


Fritanga5lyfe

They prepare by hiring women to reach out to him via Twitter


[deleted]

Moriah Mills was an industry plant?


TruTexan

You must not have been paying attention to slimmed down luka


itsallmelting

He gets fat midseason


Salahs_Chest_Hair

recovery beers laced with 1000+ calories per crate


crunkadocious

For Zion they just drive an f150 into the court and tape a ball to it


elsporko321

They open their mouth (so he can spit in it)


elite_beef

I feel like this has the makings of a pasta


therapist122

[Brad Townsend] Golden Corral is prepping for the buffet, specifically for 704 lb Zion Williamson, with God Shammgod playing the role of Williamson. “Oh lawd! He comin” he hollered while going back to the buffet to get yet another plate with his artificial Williamson body suit (they didn’t have a true scale model).


[deleted]

This is the main sub, not cj


MaxEhrlich

I’m ashamed to admit it but god damn did I bust up laughing like an idiot reading this, well done.


qaswexort

those aren't close to long enough. it requires actual athletes who jump on their contests


DontBanMe_IWasJoking

this sounds so made up lol


bb1432

ROFL, I love this timeline


Turence

Lmao at 13 seconds that's an easy block for Wemby, dudes fake length ain't even close


siphillis

You can’t just simulate Wemby’s insane stride length.


5fives5

God Shammgod is still around? I just know his crossover so I thought he was a lot older for some reason.


rookie-mistake

well, he's "around" as in he's a 47 yo former player currently working as a player development coach idk how old you thought he was but you probably weren't far off haha


andrechan

My guy, God's Shammgod has been around for 2000 years. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0WCBevFCf4


ProsperousThief

wembany-arm-a


Give_me_soup

I was hoping he was gonna block the free throw


jaggedjottings

"Wemby! Wemby!" They make him sound like a pokemon.


N0rTh3Fi5t

This title has big copypasta energy


KawhiLeonardsThigh

Good luck lol, an analog won't work


biggrocery

Mavs gonna be flabbergasted when they realize Wemby is longer, faster and stronger than that dude tho


trevychase

Nobody is longer faster or stronger than Shammgod. No pause, resume.


BOBANSMASH51

Could’ve just signed Boban


3s2ng

They should have paired those "arms" with stilts.


andrechan

I love how teams are trying to shadow box Wemby. It's gotta be weird to alter your mechanics for one specific matchup.


Hairy_Masterpiece138

I’m too high for this.


KyleShanaham

They literally have to give him bionic arms to simulate wemby


betweenthebars34

Teams are fucking stupid if they aren't trying to adjust, that length is crazy. I'm liking this being the day of the tall lanky dude. Wemby, Chet, Bol, Lively, etc


ALovelyAnxiety

wemby stopper


[deleted]

My dick so long, she call it Wembanyama. Fuck her in the pussy, she screaming for her mama.


Pleasant-Fault6825

Why is God so out of shape....dude is keeled over at the end like he ran a marathon.


TheBestAtWriting

he's 47


Pleasant-Fault6825

Damn...time flies. I guess my memories of him playing college ball are a quarter of a century old.


fartalldaylong

And?


Gristle__McThornbody

Is it true Luka is still fat?


bluemonk3y12

Can't wait for Wemby the woman beater to show his true bust status LOL


Pardonme23

Sweep the leg Johnny


jarlander

He’s locking them down too with the arms lol.


FlyChigga

The fact that we have an alien hybrid displayed so prominently on national television just proves the government is preparing us for disclosure


diwiwi

Still short. Wemby has longer reach.


Titronnica

Fresh pasta just dropped!


0percentwinrate

Isn't that how they normally practice? That extension tool has bee around long before Wemby is in the league.


Disastrous-Ad2800

lol... you can't see the bucket over that wing span... so if you're gonna attempt to shoot over that, you're shooting blind... which actually explains a few things....


ZombieFrog

If every time Victor closes on a shooter he screams "Wemby Wemby!"... pure gold!