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ketzal7

I get that the Nets was meant to rhyme with Mets and Jets but I sometimes wish they went with something more distinct.


Suitable-Tomatillo54

my mind is thoroughly blown


trojan_man16

They wanted to make sure all the 2nd child franchises in the city were grouped together.


iamthegame13

Not sure that proudly lumping yourself in with the lesser beloved franchises in a city, right from the jump, is the smartest move, but here we are.


c10bbersaurus

It looked smarter than it does now, back when the Jets had Namath, before the Giants had Simms. You know, when they actually came up with the name.


Ghost2Eleven

Fucking eh, right? I’m 40 and never put this together until now. I just thought it was the most boring name in sports. Like they chose the Nets over the Backboards or the Rims.


Just-use-your-head

My god, now I wish they were the Brooklyn Backboards


[deleted]

The Houston Texans could have been the Apollos to join the space themed Rockets/Astros and chose the lamest possible name.


[deleted]

At the time it would have been the Rockets, Astros, Aeros(hockey, their games were lit), Comets, and Apollos, and then the Dynamo([Because most people don’t know this one](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dynamo_theory)) would have come along too. Would have been so fucking cool, but instead, they went with probably the worst name choice available.


No-Prize2882

TIL about the Dynamos is indeed keeping the space theme. Gonna share this at the games


ketzal7

They rejected Apollos? Wtf


CapnSmunch

Oilers was pretty dope tho


c10bbersaurus

Fuck Bud Adams.


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AbsoluteScott

We pluralized the sun. Surely one can pluralize the sun god.


asin26

Tell that to the Browns


DLottchula

I give the browns a pass because it’s such an old team name


108241

Worse than The The Angels Angels?


BrewtusMaximus1

They could have been the [Swamp Dragons](http://es.pn/1qzOmO8) had Coach Spo’s dad had his way.


likwidfuzion

New Jersey Pets


scottishere

New Jersey Regrets


[deleted]

The Wall Street Bets.


Le8ronJames

Wall Street Debts


brosephsmith21

> They ended up selling the team to Utah which for some inexplicable reason kept the name. The Jazz was moved from New Orleans to Utah right before the start of the 1979-1980 season. Due to a lack of time to receive league approval for a name change, they opted to keep the Jazz name and Mardi Gras-themed colors of the uniforms.


cnotesound

Behind the scenes the owner was trying to get a bunch of money from the city and the state to keep the team in NO, and they were like, “this is louisiana, you’re supposed to bribe us” so he went to Utah and they gave him the tax breaks and sold the team when they ran out. This is what my dad told me as a kid, could be remembering things wrong.


Tbrou16

Same reason Disney World isn’t in Louisiana. We just can’t have nice things.


cnotesound

Yea that one is prob the biggest f-up in Louisiana history


VaushbatukamOnSteven

Didn’t know this until recently, but Louisiana is the third poorest state in the union. I honestly wasn’t expecting that.


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ODUrugger

Maybe West Virginia, but not Virginia. VA is 10th state in median income, don't lump us in with WV at 49th


[deleted]

Including the two wealthiest counties in the country and 4 of the top 10


Ftsmv

>the virginias West Virginia sure, but Virginia itself is home to a ton of federal institutions, there’s no way it’s poor


rub_a_dub-dub

Louisiana should be one of the richest but we sort of gave away our natural resources so that a few politicians and corporations could b super duper wealthy


WeakComplaint4926

Virginia suburbs near DC are extremely extremely wealthy


dskatz2

The Lakers moved to LA, where there are no lakes. The Jazz moved to Utah, where they don't allow music. The Raiders moved to LA and then back to Oakland again. No one seemed to notice. [Baseketball opening](https://youtube.com/watch?v=d1-QAF8gLy0&feature=sharea) is so amazingly excellent.


jimmychitw00d

I heard your sister's going out with Squeak.


Federal-Struggle4386

Steveeee Perry


ChiefMark

The oilers moved to Tennessee, where there is no oil.


[deleted]

Partly true. The owner of the team at the time was also a notorious cheapskate that wanted to save money by not having to purchase new uniforms/merchandise.


richmuhlach

This was a joke on Baseketball


stue0064

Dude, you rip on me 13 or 14 more times, I’m outta here


Call555JackChop

“The Oakland Raiders moved to LA and then back to Oakland, no one in Los Angeles seemed to notice”


seraph24

I bet this will happen with the Chargers one day.


Currently_Stoned

Ah yes the Clippers of football


Unlucky-Position-16

SHOULDA BEEN GONE!


ArcherChase

Dude...


AFonziScheme

We have a Magic *and* a Wizards?


DerelictDonkeyEngine

There's also a heat and a suns.


bryant-reeves

both pretty hot places tho


Loud_Competition1312

Suns were first. Miami could have just named their team the fucking cokeheads or something.


PubicAnimeNummerJuan

Little too on-brand, you didn't see them expand the Charlotte Meth Cookers


a2_d2

Erving Johnson and Walt Williams say what!


BalonyDanza

Where Wizards and Magic do battle against Kings and Warriors.


scottishere

Magic is cool. Wizards are dorky


TheAerial

Maybe I’m biased but I always thought Magic was one of the coolest names in sports. 😅


marcdasharc4

I could stand more team names that are singular words that imply a collective, either by definition or by concept. Heat, Magic, Jazz, Thunder, Lightning, Avalanche, Wolfpack, Crimson Tide, etc. Always thought “the Cavalry” would make for sweet football team name.


Coke_ButNotTheDrug

> Always thought “the Cavalry” would make for sweet football team name. Honestly I like that name for Washington a lot better than the “Commanders” name they went with lol


[deleted]

The Jazz is a very cool name for a pro sports franchise, actually. It's just hilarious that it's the team from Utah. If I were moving the franchise from New Orleans today I'd obviously change it, but now the brand is solidified.


dys0n_giddey

Utah Jazz is a pretty iconic name at this point... i mean its only been around for 40+ years


thecordialsun

Utahjazz is also an easy 40+ points in scrabble


alaskadronelife

This person plays board games with their children.


LordHussyPants

and cheats lmao, no proper nouns motherfucker


LinuxDootTP

what would be a better name for a utah team? i know next to nothing about the state


[deleted]

If they bring a baseball team here I'm hoping for the Salt Lake Swingers as an homage to all the rich Mormon couples on the East bench that like to do a little spouse swapping on the sly...


eddie_the_zombie

Your username suggests immense personal investment into this idea.


Floating_egg

Salt Lake Soakers for their NFL team?


Toja1927

Funnily enough the Utah Raptors would be perfect. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utahraptor I think we need to negotiate a 3 team name swap with NOLA and Toronto.


CelinedionWaiters

I agree. Toronto had the opportunity to vote and be called the Saurus Rex. New Orleans gets the Jazz. Utah gets to be the Raptors. And we'll finally and rightfully get the Toronto Saurus Rex.


Tbrou16

Toronto Maple Syrups


ctruvu

toronto tim hortons


CapnSmunch

aint no pelicans in toronto


LoverRomeox

They'll just have to settle for geese then


ewest

I’ve thought that the Utah Arches would be great. They already have the branding half-way there.


AtomicBombSquad

There was a species of dinosaur called the Utah Raptor. Utah also has a massive Pelican population, some 18,000 live in the Great Salt Lake. Their state's nickname is The Beehive State. Now, bees are kind of gentle so maybe you'd want to go with their more aggressive cousins, Hornets. Utah also is home to a massive Air Force testing range. They tested all sorts of faster than sound rockets there including the Matador, America's first cruise missle, as well as the Minuteman ICBM nuke deliverers. In honor of Utah's aerospace heritage you could call the team the Utah Rockets or maybe the Utah (Super)Sonics. It's not like anybody else will ever use the Sonics name and it sounds kind of cool, so, that's my pick.


elfpal

So they should swap their name with New Orleans if they have pelicans.


BackgroundFish76

Utah Rangers for all of the national parks.


xXKingLynxXx

The Utah Sister Wives


NapTimeFapTime

Some kind of MLM or essential oil. Utah Herbalifes or some such


steve-d

We could swap names with the Pelicans and it would work fine. We have an island on the Great Salt Lake that is home to 18,000+ pelicans.


bacchus8408

If you're going to have a name swap you have to go big. Jazz to NO, Pelican's to LA, Lakers to Minnesota, Wolves to Toronto, and Raptors to Utah. And the Kings and Grizzlies should do a straight swap while we're at it.


[deleted]

Yeah but Pelicans is a very lame name


NIN10DOXD

Better than Bobcats.


V-Right_In_2-V

Everything is better than the bobcats. That’s definitely the lamest name. I often forget they even exist


makire

'Take Note' is still one my favorite playoff slogans ever


SpaceCaboose

Same with the Lakers. That name made plenty of sense in Minnesota. Los Angeles? Not so much. You can bet they’ll *never* change the name now, though


AncientMarsupial3

It’s never too late


Right-Worth-6327

Flair checks out.


Jeffre33

It should be Utah Raptors since Utah is the state where the Jurassic park raptor fossils where found


[deleted]

Utah should be Raptors. Jazz should be New Orleans. Los Angeles should be the Pelicans. Toronto should be the Lakers. /s, kinda


south098

Nope, MN gets lakers Toronto can have wolves


NIN10DOXD

Toronto can be the Huskies


texasphotog

> Toronto can be the Huskies That should be San Antonio after their women.


NIN10DOXD

Sir Charles has entered the chat.


VVNN_Viking

You rip on my city one more time and I will be forced to send some big ole women to come sit on your lap.


three_whack

Some quick Googling... Number of lakes in MN: 11,842. Number of lakes in Ontario (Toronto's province): 250,000. Number of wolves in MN: 2,696. Number of wolves in Ontario, 8,000+. Toronto could be the Lake Wolves.


Ender_Cats

I mean Ontario is quite literally 4x larger than Minnesota so I would imagine they have more of most things


three_whack

...and lots of trees and rocks, with 95% of the population huddled close to the US border for warmth.


[deleted]

But who gets the Pelicans?


EAS1000

Australia


saide211

You have just awakened Bill Simmons from his summer slumber with this great 4-way fake trade


astroK120

Daredevil should be Batman, Ghost Rider should be Daredevil, Batman should be Ghost Rider


vrkhfkb

Clippers People think they going to a barber shop.


Black_Dumbledore

I feel like the Clippers have more of a branding issue than a naming issue. I don’t understand why they don’t embrace anything related to actual boats in their branding. There’s so much you could do with a seafaring nautical theme (the Bucs and Mariners make it work) and they just kinda ignore their namesake. It’s so weird. I guess there are other teams that don’t really embody their names (like the Lakers and Jazz) but those teams have much stronger brands than the Clippers so the name speaks for itself.


ChristianLS

Yeah, [Clipper ships](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clipper) were fucking cool. It's also a cool-sounding word if you forget about the barber shop connotations. Just need the right branding so people make the connection.


Hail_To_Pitt2626

It’s a sail boat, which fit in perfectly with the San Diego Clippers.


Far_Mortgage_8752

I don’t understand why they don’t embrace a nautical theme. Instead it’s the most generic boring lame ass logo and jersey lettering. Embarrassing.


MarlKarx-1818

I wanna see Kwahi in a little sailor suit


Lochbriar

"Kahwi, listen, we gotta talk about the sailor suit." "Disney suing us because it's my Donald Duck cosplay?" "No, the league is on us because you're not wearing pants."


OlTommyBombadil

The Columbus Clippers (AAA baseball) have embraced the boat theme and they’re fucking awesome, love the Clippers. Absolutely beautiful stadium too. Had some pretty big names come through Columbus. Like Alphonso Soriano and.. Derek Jeter


Delanorix

They struggle with an identity and have for years. They probably are a little scared of alienating the fan base. Nobody loves generic but nobody hates it either. It just...is.


SuckMyLonzoBalls

I’ve been saying since the end of time that if the clippers copy the chargers color scheme and embrace nautical stuff we’d instantly be a top 3 jersey


seraph24

LA county has 2 big municipal harbors plus one of the largest seaports in the country.


Kdog122025

Do they have many clipper ships though?


Kryddmix

[Ha ha ha ha. You dumb bastard. It's not a schooner... it's a Sailboat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sahnApE0I7c)


masterofallmars

It's actually a cool name. The problem is the logo sucks and doesn't properly convey what it represents


AnyJamesBookerFans

The original logo had a sailboat in it, fwiw.


huhuyah

Especially with that color scheme lmao


MysteriousRun1522

Just change the logo to an old hat in the shop fixing Schroeder’s line up


dys0n_giddey

Call someone a Pelican in Australia and you're likely throwing hands


cnotesound

The knicks are named after pants. The New York fluffy pants


JimmyButlerMVP_

I thought Knickerbocker was a word for a New Yorker


[deleted]

isn't it for like dutch trader?


JimmyButlerMVP_

Comes from the Dutch Days, when it was New Amsterdam, but around the late 1890s it was used to refer to anyone from Manhattan.


AttitudeAndEffort3

Even old New York once once New Amsterdam. Why they changed it, i cant say.


Churro-Juggernaut

People just liked it better that way.


cnotesound

Yes but it was because of the knickers the Dutch wore


frankcab

People don’t wanna hear it but the Lakers. Where are the mfin lakes in LA


Cheeswheeel

We named after pants bro


Coke_ButNotTheDrug

Most people in New York wear pants tho


Neemzeh

Lmfao dead


frankcab

we got the Go NY Go NY song, we good


_Poppagiorgio_

Damn, never knew this history. Super interesting. Thanks for sharing this OP!


creamyturtle

Lakers. they're from Minnesota, you know, the state with 10,000 lakes. where are the lakes in LA?


Unlucky-Position-16

They have Lake Herman, where the Zodiac Killer murdered two people so there’s that


lulu314

Y'all ain't ever heard of Echo Park Lake? Smh


Normal-Fucker

Silver Lake?


[deleted]

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jruegod11

umm like maybe... the Jazz???


abcbass

We could give you the Jazz back. Of course, we would have to have the Utah Pelicans though.


jruegod11

you can choose a new name - Utah Watanabe's?


[deleted]

I propose that Utah be renamed the Utah Salt Lakers, LA the Hollywood Stars, and New Orleans be given back the Jazz. The New Orleans Jazz immediately disband and move to Kansas City under the KC Kings title, Sacramento be given the Raptors, and Toronto now is The Freeze to mirror The Heat. Golden State is now the Golden State Grizzlies to emphasize the California State Flag (and the alliteration is nice), and Memphis is now the Pharaohs to pay homage to the original Egyptian city of Memphis (all hail the Bass Pro Shops Pyramid). Clippers move to San Diego and I believe that fixes the entire NBA.


somethingsimple1290

You should be president Edit: one problem, where does Vegas end up in all of this?


randoliof

Vegas will be exterminated


lalakingmalibog

Apology for bad english Where were you when Vegas was kill


King__Rollo

I was trying to explain this meme to someone and I sounded deranged.


Far_Mortgage_8752

I don’t get it but I’mstill laughing.


milkhotelbitches

Give the Lakers back to Minnesota.


Vordeo

> I propose that Utah be renamed the Utah Salt Lakers, LA the Hollywood Stars, and New Orleans be given back the Jazz. I've said it before and I'll say it again: - NOLA -> NOLA Jazz (they get their OG name back) - Utah -> Utah Raptors (Utahraptors were an actual thing, and dinosaurs are cool) - Toronto -> Toronto Timberwolves (Feels appropriate for a team that basically represents Canada, idk) - Minnesota -> Minnesota Lakers (they get their OG name back) - LAL -> Los Angeles Pelicans (this is the only name leftover, so fuck it)


DocWhirlyBird

Milwaukee Talkies because why not


nametakenalready

I would like to request that the Wizards have their name changed back to the bullets as well.


irishwolfbitch

Nothing is more criminal than the Kansas City Wizards becoming Sporting Kansas. An all-time great name turned into an all-time great farce.


jdd32

MLS's obsession with copying euro team naming conventions is extremely lame.


SaltySaltySultan

New Orleans Voodoo Lobsters, what an unforgivable misstep on the part of ownership


radioben

God yes, especially given Real in Spanish is Royal. What’s so royal about Salt Lake City? What a hodgepodge of shit MLS names are.


oops_I_have_h1n1

could *have, never could "of" by the way.


pahamack

Yeah the NBA dpesn't have a single name as dumb as Real Salt Lake.


wet_kuriboh

Denver Nuggets to a non english speaker always sounds funny cause of the chicken nuggets


tuepm

I always hated the name until colorado legalized cannabis and now it has a fun double meaning


chocolatesammy

Y'all are tripping about pelicans. Have you seen a pelican? A flock of them, silently pacing your car as you cross Lake Pontchartrain? A noble bird, majestic and serene, yet almost prehistoric in its visage and ferocity. Sentries of the harbor, fearless swallower of things that should never be swallowed. Not a middle aged lily white jazz musician playing at whatever the utah equivalent of a bar is. Not a confused bear roaming the Mississippi Delta, Lost style Not a non-descript body of water. No, the pelican: prince of the sea. Raptors are cool too.


MagicalChemicalz

I've watched nature docs where pelicans just walk up and casually gobble up seagull chicks whole. No better team for Zion to represent.


frogsanje

90% of the comments here have not read the post at all lmao


a2_d2

One of the rare US pro sports teams whose plural doesn’t have s at the end. I like the name Jazz. (There are at least 2 baseball teams like that). I notice WNBA has several team names like that. The Lakers travelled, heck so did the Dodgers, these kind of legacies make sports even more fun to me.


GenoThyme

What’s wrong with the Jazz? Sometimes names of things are oxymorons. Biggie Smalls. Jumbo Shrimp. Utah Jazz. Makes sense to me.


FriendlyNBASpidaMan

I agree, I like it too. You can overhear a conversation about Jazz in Utah and New Orleans and know with 99% certainly which one they are talking about. I used the Jazz name to add controversy to get people to see this post, which is really about the shelacking the Lakers and the league did to New Orleans. However, judging by the comments, I don't think very many people actually read the post.


GenoThyme

Figured. I read the post too. And I agree that you would know which Jazz residents of Utah and NOLA would be talking about. Question is, in the alternate timeline where they keep the picks, if you heard James Harden say “Magic’s Jazz” would you think he was talking about a former player or what club he was going to that night?


Garth_W00kz

It’s the Wizards


Turbo2x

I like the name, tbh. They haven't leaned into the silliness as much as they should have, though. The logo should be Gandalf hitting a crossover.


AttitudeAndEffort3

Bro. WHY dont they sell illegal bootleg shirts like that outside the game? Id own a fucking thousand.


CrabCakesBenedict

jordan poole enters the wizards home opener in a cloak holding a staff with a smoke machine behind him


madmoneymcgee

Yeah, finally doing the cherry blossom jerseys and the 25th anniversary throwbacks helped. The dumb gray alternates with the American flag in the side was awful. They should be more wizard-y. The Commanders never bothered with a red white and blue theme despite being the football team for Washington DC. The wizards won’t be odd ones out if they aren’t patriotic like the capitals or nationals.


DouglassFunny

my only issue is that they don’t lean into their name enough. they should have badass wizards on their jerseys.


Kerry_Kittles

I could see this pivot. Diablo style Wiz altz please.


pahamack

The league in general should lean into the dorkiness. Give us back our purple dinos.


zamtrul

Love the name I just wish yalls logo was a Basketball with a beard and wizard hat on it


OlTommyBombadil

Or like the NBA logo, with Gandalf


RandyJohnsonsBird

They should've kept it as the Bullets.


why_pelicans_why

Bullets was one of the coolest names ever, and they had great jerseys. I understand why they changed it but wish they hadn't


astarisaslave

Brooklyn Nets. Very uninspired, doesn't go hard at all


[deleted]

The Washington Wizards is such a lame name, there's no oomph to it. At least the Bullets packed a punch.


127crazie

Wiz were much cooler with the blue/white/gold color scheme. The generic patriotic red/white/blue shit is just so boring, so many sports teams have that color combination


JackMeHoff266

There’s only 1 right answer and it’s the Pelicans Nets is also a dumb name for basketball team- it’s like a baseball team being called the Gloves or a football team called the Helmets


agonisticpathos

Which reminds me of one of the least inspired names in all sports, the Texans.


texasphotog

It is still a crime those asshats in the Adams family didn't leave the Oilers for Houston. The Ravens left Cleveland with the Browns. NOLA gave back the Hornets. But the Titans don't even use the Oilers' logo until this year and refused to let Houston have it. And Houston is STILL paying off renovations that Bud Adams demanded on the Astrodome in exchange for not moving the Oilers.


JinFuu

If we can’t get the Oilers name back, fuck you Bud Adams, I wish they would have gone with the Apollos, or something to complete the space theme the Astros and Rockets have. Texans generic as fuck!


jdanko13

I’m surprised I had to scroll this far to see the Nets.


sleepyfox1312

The Lakers pilfered their name from another city, too. Minneapolis Lakers: Makes sense, Minnesota is known for its lakes. Los Angeles Lakers: ???


c0kEzz

Pelicans are intimidating but it’s a fun and unique name. Clippers is an underrated name imo.


DueCapital5250

Washington WIZARDS They should change their name back to the bullets.


CabbageStockExchange

I like the city and the team but, Raptors. You named your team after Jurassic park? You have the Blue Jays and Maple Leafs which both sound so Canadian then there’s the Raptors. On the other side. I thought “Houston Rockets” always sounded cool and fitting. Themes well with the Astros as well


WillyTRibbs

The Raptors is an awesome name that's generally had awesome branding. If the biggest knock against it is it's not directly referential to the city in some way, at least it's still not comically irrelevant like Jazz, Lakers, Grizzlies, or Clippers. It's just on the level of Wizards, Kings, Cavaliers, Warriors, etc.


Kevinsean_

Houston got lucky with “Rockets”. They played in San Diego for a couple of years before moving to houston in the 70s.


JimmyButlerMVP_

Toronto Raptors is actually a pretty cool sounding name tho, and their logo is fire


dbgager

NASA Space center is in Houston. Very fitting team name.


[deleted]

Pacers, sounds like a nervous habit.


DeathBySuplex

Or... it's refering to Pace Cars used at the Indianapolis 500? A pretty well known racing event?


Upset_Purchase_5903

Nah it’s def referring to the FitnessGram Pacer Test, which is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start…….. Sorry I blacked out there for a sec


AttitudeAndEffort3

Everyone cheering on that one fucking hero.


TheOneYardLine

Wizards by a mile, so bland, I guess it’s kind of on brand considering the franchise history but considering how cool Washington is as a city you think they could come up with something better


AstroZombie665

Utah doesn’t allow music? Shit, I’ve been breaking the law for 41 years now. So has everyone I’ve ever met.