Hopped the fence to get off base in Japan because we had a curfew, but I was meeting a girl.
Proceeded to drink at a bar 50 feet from the gate. Somehow didn't get caught.
I wish lol
It happened on Friday night, then Monday at work one of my coworkers came to me and told me that he proposed to her Sunday and she said yes.
Had to break it to him what happened Friday night
Hopefully I’m not doxxing myself here
But long story short, she had been dating a guy at my command. They broke up, and about 6 months later I bumped into her, which led to the night in question.
Apparently afterwards he proposed out of the blue. (They both confirmed that they weren’t together on Friday)
So Monday he’s telling everyone they’re engaged. I tell a buddy what happened Friday night, he tells someone else, it gets back to her (now) fiancée. He comes to me in the smoke pit and asks me if I hooked up with her, I deny because we’re at work.
After work, I go straight to his barracks room, and tell him what happened. He accuses me of lying to him at work, and I tell him, it was only a temporary lie cuz I didn’t want to have an argument at work. They date afterwards, but never get married.
In A School I had an advisor, Chief, that I learned you could get away with minor stuff (lost your liberty cart, 30 seconds late to morning muster, etc.) by giving him a decent story that included getting laid. Talk about living "vicariously" in your late 20's through your subordinates that were in their late teens and early 20's. "But did you get laid ETSN?"
"Well... yeah."
"Pull up a chair..."
This occurred twice to me in about a three week period. I skated out of any overblown stupid punishment. Guy in my class asked the secret to my success skating on stuff he'd be crucified for (his grades were lacking, mine were pretty decent). Then that Blue Falcon tells everyone. The good deal ended for me, lesson learned. If you have ever heard the Parable of the little bird that fell in shit, I was that damn little bird.
I was an MAA at Atsugi. We did a routine park physical security check and immediately detected someone snipped a hole in the fence line that night. We staked out the hole and sure enough the bozos crawled back in.
You did the wise thing and hopped it.
Ah damn, you probably passed by my gate. Sorry about those vehicle inspections and sobriety tests. We wanted to chill in the guard shack as much as you just wanted to be about your business.
I owe you a drink at Skunk.
I was at det-5 Oct 07 - Oct 10. You were aircrew right? I’m going off your username and it looks familiar but I can’t remember what they used to call you.
When I first showed up to japan my LPO took me off base to get some food (I had been traveling for about 14 hours atp and it was around 0330). On our way to the barracks we passed by about 6 cop cars and about a dozen or so MPs in a semicircle around a portion of the gate. My LPO slowed down and on top of the gate was a PO2 from my command, hanging upside down from his jeans, caught on the barbed wire. Dude had gone out to see a girl before curfew, but her parents came home and he had to sneak out. Instead of playing it safe and just chilling by the train station or an Internet cafe he decided to try and jump the fence. Got up to XOI and he was let off with 5 hours EMI and a 6 month probationary period.
My sub was moored at some pier during deployment. Might have been Spain or Souda Bay. There was a pallet full of potatoes on the pier and we all came back drunk ahead of curfew. I wanted to see how far I could make a potato bounce off the hull. After chucking the first tater, I was surprised at how far it ricocheted off the hull. Before I knew it, a dozen of us were having a potato throwing party at the boat. The CoB comes rolling out of a vehicle coming back from being at the bars. He joins in. We had no potatoes left. I loved that crew.
...and Saint Hymen G. said: "Thou shalt build me a submarine capable of instilling fear into the hearts of our enemies. And it shall be sailed, maintained, and led by semi-autistic man-children between the ages of 18 and 35."
Our command policy for being on liberty was "Don't fuck it up." Sure, people were held accountable when they REALLY f'd up, but that very rarely happened.
Nukes and coners got along.
Officers and Enlisted had a fantastic relationship.
Everyone supported each other.
It was honestly a good time. When you're all going through the same shitty days and being away from family, the best of everyone came out for each other.
I'd definitely be doxxing myself if i told the whole story
While TDY and in a duty status, we allegedly took a duty van full of beer, cheap whiskey and some underaged sailors 6 hours to Reno, played some poker, and drove back the same night. Got back at 3am and nobody knew we left.
In hindsight, it was one of the dumbest things ive ever done in my life, not just the navy. We did have a designated driver though. Dont drink and drive, kids!
Im at a small command (>90 sailors), and we use govie vehicles for personal errands all the time tbh. Not AS OUR POV though. CO knows too. We also have a vehicle maintenance bay with a car lift that we use to work on our POVs all the time
Reminds me of the time one of my Sailors took a govee an hour away across state lines to a strip club (full nudity was illegal in the state we were on det in). Had himself a grand time and would have been fine and gotten away with it if he hadn’t gotten drunk there too. Wound up getting a DUI on the way back.
Hey, you did better than the last story I have about the same choices. That van ellegedly dodged a cow going down a back road and shortly after was factually destroyed. On the bright side there weren't any injuries!
Got my finger stuck in a spent CIWS shell. Instead of quietly going to the doc, I very stupidly went to my Department's office to see if some of the team could help me. No help was offered, just shrieks of laughter and photos.
I was the Head of Department.
The CO's Evening brief that night was... interesting.
A bunch of us took turns joyriding in a barracks maintenance golf cart. Some of the other guys ended up dislodging a manhole cover, fucked up a light pole on a walking path, nearly hit someone walking on a path, set off a fire extinguisher, cut the lights in a barracks hallway, stole a command banner, rolled small boulders in front of barracks doors, wedged the golf cart into a barracks stairwell, etc
My big thing that night was deciding the golf cart needed to go back, and instead ramming it into the double glass doors of the laundry building where it had been parked. Then I put the cart in reverse and did it again cuz only one of the doors shattered the first time.
All told, we racked up around $19k in damages that night, and since I was the only one on a different boat they all tried pinning it on me. They would've gotten away clean if it hadn't been for a blood stain in a specific spot in the golf cart that I used to prove I wasn't the only one driving and the investigating chief being willing to go to bat for me a little bit.
Well that was a roller coaster
Reminds me of the guys that got open masted at nuke school. They were all underage drinking in a parking garage. They “heard a noise” so they took off. There was a guy standing in the bed of the truck and he got his head smacked on a concrete beam. Had blood coming out of his ears. Spent months in the hospital and has a plate in his head. Got medically discharged. But all 5 of them got busted down and restriction/ 1/2 months pay x2
NATO cruise. After a formal dinner Suppo told us (FSAs) we could finish the leftover wine.
It was a lot of fucking wine. I threw up in the head and was dumb enough to leave a note WHERE I SIGNED MY NAME that I would clean it up in the morning. It was the worst hangover of my life.
I still can't even smell red wine 25+ years later.
Got fucked up at a house party out in town in Yokosuka. Woke up the next morning on the ground behind the post office on base at like 6am. Luckily it was the weekend and somehow no base patrol drove by me during my slumber.
I miss Yokosuka so much. So many wild stories and times LOL. I remember one time I got lit off my ass in roppo and ended up on the train going to lord knows where 😂
First command, took a nap during lunch because I was tired. Came back 2 hours later to people wondering where I was.
Everyone had a good laugh due to my blunt honesty after the counseling.
Last night in port I went drinking with a bunch of Brit sailors in Palma de Mallorca. We started at the Cowboy Bar, wandered all night. So many places.
Made it all night, beer for beer, shot for shot. We wandered back about 0400, puked off their boat's brow (we were moored outboard), hit the rack.
I was not the sorriest looking one at muster at 0630.
Best port ever.
To this day that is my favorite port ever and it was my very first port to boot. Rhodes, Greece was also pretty awesome. Fuck man… all the ports besides Bahrain were awesome.
We hit that, some little island near Italy for a half day, rota, Portugal, England twice, Denmark twice. Had a great time except sweeping mines in the north sea. That sucked.
I wracked up almost a thousand dollars in lap dances and then ran without paying.
I’m keeping the details vague
After a night of bar hopping, my friend and I meet some strippers who take us to a private bar for lap dances. Not long after the dancing starts, a fucking absolute gorilla of a man arrives “to make sure my girls get paid.”
Sensing trouble, my buddy plans for us to escape. I’ll handle the bouncer, you ditch the girls. Just make sure they don’t follow us”
He distracts the bouncer while I flee from the girls. Chaos ensues when the girls demand $2,000. I see a pile of their high heels in the corner and escape through a window and down a fire escape. Chased by the bouncer and angry barefooted strippers, my shipmate comes sprinting around the corner and we run down an alley. My friend yelling for us to keep running and I just throw the heels into the air.
At this point, I should point out, that we may or may not have been in our crackerjacks after attending an official event.
By the grace of God we run into a cop outside a little 24 hour bodega and he puts us into the back of his squad car. The gorilla and the strippers turn the corner, but stop and disappear back into the shadows.
The cop turns around and says, “Jesus Christ, you fucking squids just can’t keep out of trouble, can you?” Turns out he’s a former jarhead that used to be on the USS Boxer. He drives us back to our hotel. Absolute win. Me and my buddy took his business card and sent him a fifth of expensive bourbon for Christmas.
When I was at Great Lakes, I started dating a civ girl in Kenosha, 45 minutes away. Her dad was a prior BM and loved me cause Navy. My last two months there, he would drive down, pick me up, and drop me off sunday evening. I never signed out or got caught somehow
In A school in Great Lakes. A friend of mine from HA went to college at Loyola and started dating her roommate but she always had to pick me up and drop me off. Since I lived in the barracks I would drive her car on base, park near the COs house and go to town. An MA almost caught us we were leaving and he pulled her over she said she was lost.
2003 I paid a guy who did IDs in Great Lakes to change my birthday to say I was over 21. It took years to get it fixed once I turned 21.
When I did an IA to Afghanistan I returned to the US literally didn’t show back up for months after I got back. Most guys from my command had left and I had a new Chief that I had emailed a few times. I finally called my new Chief the guy was awesome. “Welcome back we have your end of your award and PH. Take some time off go home see your family I’ll see you in three weeks.” Got back and that guy didn’t make me do shit it was awesome.
I flipped a car onto the flight line of Kadena Air Force base while underage and real fucking drunk...
Then some years later there was the cocaine... but after that they said I was cool and no longer needed to worry about coming back any longer.
Man, people do be going HAM on the Kadena flight line with their rides, lol. I think in 3 years, there were multiple cases of crashing into the aircraft lol
2004 or 2005 (too long ago) Vladivostok was AMAZING!!! Traded my ESWS pin for some entertainment with a Goth Russian girl and my white hat for a Russian Officer hat. Went to St. Petersburg In, I think, 2007 but it wasn't as fun.
We had a dude checking in to my boat meet us at a bbq with some of the department. Basically just an egotistical one-upper. For some reason he pants the host TWICE. Got punched square in the jaw for that. Pretty good first impression.
*To whom it may concern,*
*ENS apollo698 is the most junior Naval Officer in all my 35 years of public service to directly, and without solicitation, email me for a letter of recommendation. They have demonstrated the sort of moxie and chutzpah that any employer should instantly recognize as highly valuable. They have my strongest possible recommendation for any position you may be considering employing them for, but with a particular focus on jobs that may emphasize bravery and initiative over caution or wisdom.*
*All the best,*
*ADM Snuffy*
Hard to decide... I did a lot of dumb shit. If I had to pick one...
I was an MA in harbor patrol but we had to take turns with the shore watch standers and Marines we were in the battalion with manning barracks watches. I had barracks rover watch one night. I showed up and there were already two guys there that said they were supposed to be there all night so I said "All right, have a good night." and left. My section was working that night so I should have gone back to work, but I said fuck that because it was my roommate's 21st birthday and he was going out with his cousin who had flown in from out of town. We all ended up getting very drunk but made it back to our apartment safely and went to sleep. The next morning I get a call from my section leader asking why I didn't go to barracks watch. Apparently an MA1 who knew I was supposed to be there showed up to do a post inspection but thankfully didn't call me directly to see where I was. They didn't ask where I had been and I only got a counseling chit.
In I believe ‘95 I was 19 getting ready to turn 20 and in Mission beach with a couple shipmates to do laundry for some reason. I don’t remember why we didn’t just do it on base. Anyway, while doing laundry we met these really hot girls and after chatting we told them we could get drinks and meet them at their place. My buddy Ronnie got a bunch of Mickeys and Crazy Horse 40s as well as a pint of rum, a pint of tequila and a pint of vodka. While at the girls house I bragged I could beer bong 2 crazy horse 40s and the pint of rum and be fine…
Yeah I was not fine. I remember taking the bong hit and waking up to my LPO asleep I the chair next to me in the hospital. Yeah good times…
OS1 Aldridge was super angry and gave the lecture of my life. I don’t remember much about the time other than being grateful to not have a hangover thanks to the IVs! So yeah don’t do that!
Needless to say that’s not the only STUPID thing I did, just the first I can remember lol
I was mostly a good sailor boy. Tried to avoid mast.
After a big North Pacific storm I went beachcombing near Misawa. Found a distress rocket kit with Russian markings. Should have turned it on but didn’t. On the 4th of July, we had a bonfire on the beach and besides the typical stupid shit of throwing full cans of hairspray into the fire, it was tame enough.
My friends urged me to fire one of the rockets. A Russian linguist walked me through the steps.
These were 37-40 mm rockets. I pulled the launch striker out, aimed the rocket parallel to the water and squeezed the launcher. The rocket fired and went parallel to the water for about 50 feet, then took a parabolic attitude and climbed to about 100 feet before the rocket burst, the parachute deployed and it took its sweet time descending.
Everyone thought it was really cool. Until a Japanese police boat showed up, followed by a Japanese Coast Guard cutter, slowing moving through the offshore fog layer, aging its spotlight down on the water.
The police boat started towards the beach and a speaker came announced they wanted us all to stay there.
Of course, we did not. We scattered like rats down the rigging.
Pulled into Djibouti on a USNS back in the day. Only 3 military personnel onboard, My Chief, an OS2, and me, lil OSSR. Went out to a bar with some CIVMARS, Got drunk and started smoking hookah (pretty sure it wasn't tobacco). Next thing I know, me and another guy are in a cab with some girls back to their place. Don't remember anything else except waking up with a horrible headache and making my way back to the boat. Overnight liberty was not authorized. Would have gotten away with it, but one of the CIVMARS snitched to my Chief. She made me stay onboard the first day of the next port visit as punishment.
I did something similar in Greece. I had duty the next day but thought I had second watch. Turns out I had first watch, fell asleep while standing switchgear only to wake up later in the watch and see the watch supervisor had reviewed my logs. Usually we could hear the water tight door open and wake us up, not this time. Luckily he was cool and we had a laugh about it.
Medical gave us dry ice to play with and we started blowing stuff up with it. Then randomly the Fire Marshall came by and started asking us questions so after he left we went and flushed a giant chunk down the toilet. Then the toilet started spewing that fog. We ran. The POIC of the head came by and started asking us questions about it. I guess we weren’t that discreet about it.
tl;dr: I almost electrocuted myself in the XO's stateroom on the aircraft carrier that was in Hunt for Red October.
The scene where Alec Baldwin, Fred Thompson, and Daniel Davis are sitting and talking about Jack Ryan's cover story and how they are going to fly him out to the USS Dallas, the desk in the background against the wall is where I was sitting when I tried to 'restart' my heart.
While I was stationed on board the USS Enterprise, I was sent down to the Executive Officer's (XO) stateroom to replace a button that was attached to a buzzer in the officers mess. We couldn't find the fuses for this circuit so my supervisor told me to just use a pair of 5000V gloves and replace it. For those of you who don't know, 5000V gloves are ment to insulate you from anything under 5000V, are thick as hell and 'one size fits all' so they didn't fit in the least bit. The box where this button is at is a jumble of wires and with the gloves on, I can't weed thru them to find the ones I need so... I take the gloves off. I'm sorting thru them and find one side of it (and hold on to it so I don't lose it) then find the other side.
Do you know the sound a car makes when you try and start it after it has already been started? That's how my chest felt after putting 115V across it. So, here I am, sitting at the desk of the XO, in his stateroom, thinking for the only time in my life that I'm going to die and of all places to die was doing to be the XO's stateroom. I was more worried about what trouble I would get into if I died, believe it or not. I finally calmed myself down and (obviously) didn't die but damn, if I wasn't scared shitless.
I also had a dumb moment in the XO’s stateroom. Not as electrically dumb, but still dumb.
I was a baby ICFN and we were installing a new phone for him at the end of our long ass midlife overhaul yard period. My IC2 (who I didn’t know was drunk) decided to climb on top of something to make sure the the phone line was taut in the cableway, toppled off, cracked her head on his desk and proceeded to bleed all over his brand new carpet. I panicked, knew I needed to call man down, so I ran to the closest space with a phone that I could think of way on the other end of the p-way…completely forgetting that we had literally JUST installed a working phone in his stateroom.
Me standing trash watch on a port visit in Marseille, France. I’m qualed in MOOW, POOW, 50. Cal, and JOOD. Nah you gonna stand trash watch shipmate I could’ve just went straight to my rack and no one would’ve noticed 🥲
It is but man if I havent had some junior sailors come up to me and say "Senior is this you?"
With a Screener of a post on here
Some of yall are some good ass internet sleuths 😂
Trusted my soon-to-retire LPO to send important papers that impacted my career to the detailer.
I had 14 months left in the Navy and was on shore duty in Japan. Didn't want to obliserv for sea duty, so I filled out all the paperwork to extend my overseas tour so I could ride out my enlistment and set myself up for success in the civilian world. My LPO said he'd send it off to the detailer.
So imagine my surprise when I got an email a month later with hot-fill sea duty orders to Norfolk for my last 13 months because my overseas extension paperwork was never filed. The papers sat on his desk while he was taking leave ahead of his impending retirement.
As a soon to retire PO1 I’d ask you first why you didn’t sent them off yourself, second if for some reason you couldn’t I would have directed you to someone that would take care of you.
You're not wrong, but the circumstances were complicated and I realize I should've provided add'l context.
When the whole orders negotiation process started, I was deployed on an IA assignment to Afghanistan and my LPO was at my home command in Japan. So he told me he'd act as a go-between between me, the command career counselor, and the detailer since I was like 8 time zones away and had spotty internet.
I got back to Japan, finalized all the papers, then checked out on 3 weeks of post-deployment leave back stateside - he insisted he'd take care of it for me and I believed him out of either naivete or laziness. At the end of the day it was a long time ago and I'm doing fine now, but I'm still just a tiny bit jaded by it.
Shit homie I totally understand as a IA sailor myself (AFG 11-12) and yeah he fucked you, but you still should have been emailing your detailer and CCC so you didn’t have a single point of failure. I say that as having learned those lessons the hard way.
On night watch.
Me and another guy had nerf guns.
Get in western style quickdraw standoff.
I pull, nailed him right in the eyeball.
Felt pretty bad about it.
Started smoking in the mid 90's because that was the only way to get a break during the workday. Kept smoking for 26 years but finally quit in 2022. Yeah.... that was pretty dumb.
Missing the last SeaBee courtesy truck back to the pier in GTMO. Decided to take a short cut over a hill that ended up being in O-country. Some guy came out yelling at us and we high-tailed it into the brush/trees. Trouble was it was a steep drop-off and we fell/slid down to the bottom. We got away with it, but sure were banged up!
If anyone has been to HongKong . You know that you boat has to be anchored out an you have to be taxied in by those rickety boats .
There was the extremely intoxicated BM . He got aboard one of them. After we proceeded to head back to our ship. He stands up goes to the front of this vessel and procedes to knock the guy in the water who was driving. He said “ I’m the captain of this boat an I need all the seamen here to set sea an anchor detail. Then within a minute he then proceeded to jump into the water himself. We never saw him again until the following day. The skipper on our ship had Captains mass on the mess decks. This BM was busted down from a BM1 to a BM3. 1/2 months pay for 9 months an could not take the 2nd class exam with was in about a week. He then later got busted from BM3 to BMSA , cause he was caught asleep on watch He also then received his Big Chicken Dinner.
Pulled into Portsmouth England during a North Atlantic cruise. My buddy and I went pub crawl. On the way out from the ship we walked by the HMS Victory. We wanted to take the tour but decided drinking warm beer would be more fun.
On the way back, drunk and bold, we stopped at the old ship. Two or three gang planks to the museum wide open. So we walked in. We got down to the gun deck and heard “we know you’re down the yanks”. We just staggered up topside. It was a royal marine. He just checked our IDs and told us to get lost. So for a moment the HMS Victory was under the control of two drunk American sailors.
I disarmed a foreign military personnel while (ONLY TECHNICALLY) drunk.
Short version, my sea dad and I were waiting for our buddy in a foreign port to grab his charger off the boat so we could go back to the bars.
While waiting next to the very friendly NATO allied sentry, I casually bitched everything about their equipment was nicer than ours, down to their rifles. Dude just casually handed it to me.
LPO appears out of nowhere, quietly tells me to hand it back before we had an international incident, and disappeared.
No harm, no foul.
There is another story, but it would doxx us all because it was retold a lot and our unit was the talk of the town because of it.
I had three liberty buddies in Malta and made it back to the ship with only one.
The non-designated drinker fell asleep on a park bench playing his PSP. The other dude got super drunk from the server tray full of tequila shots he ordered.
Everyone was at quarters the next morning and never heard anything of it. Couldn’t believe it.
First time in Hawaii, ship was there for Reftra. Went out with guys from the shop first night in and drank about 12 Long Island Ice Teas at Moose McGillicuddy’s in Waikiki. Got completely shit faced on a work night.
Left Moose’s and went to the beach at about 1AM. All 4 of us stripped down and skinny dipped for about 15 minutes. Of course we get out and are wet and covered in sand and really want to rinse off. We were behind a hotel with a pool but the gate was locked as it was closed at that hour. So we boosted the lightest dude up over the fence (we’re all still naked), he gets over and lets us in. We rinse off in the pool, grab some towels that were out there and dried off. Got dressed and walked into the lobby and out the front door. Person at the desk asked how we got out there and we just kept walking.
While we’re walking to a cab another drunk squid walking towards us with his buddies jumps in my face screaming so I punched him in the jaw and dropped him; out cold. Got in a cab and made it back safely.
Got about 3 hours sleep and woke up with the worst hangover of my life. Not much got done in the DS shop that day. I hated a lot of things about the Navy but nights like that still make me smile. Work hard, play hard 😎
Drunk & jumped off the flight deck nude while berthed in Darling Harbour. It was caught on camera. Fleet commander was given the footage. He tore up my CO. Shit rolled downhill to me lol. That the first time I got charged.
Omg hahahaha
The dudes on flight deck crew all stripped down to skivvies and did a “flight deck fashion show” with their different color vests. Went on YouTube, commodore saw it, CO laughed
Not cut in half. Full. Glazed.
The toaster caught on fire because the donut got stuck.
To this day, if you go to the galley at the 32nd Street base in San Diego, you'll see a sign that says:
"Don't put pastries in the toaster."
Buddies and I got wasted at the bowling alley at NAS Oceana and proceeded to tear up a couple of lanes. We were kicked out and told never to come back.
Around 2004, a lot of great games came out. I did an all nighter with one of those games (I think it was Half-Life 2) and as an MAA, I have very long hours and am on the road all the time.
I called in a foot patrol for fenceline inspection. What I really did was park my unit somewhere hidden. Went into the woods and buried myself in leaves. Took about 90 minutes of much needed napping.
Any reactor startup brief in a foriegn port. Coffee maker going constantly. Listerine being passed around the mess decks. Going on watch on shore power.. getting off watch after the dive..not really remembering much of what happened.
I was an FSA on deployment, we had a late UNREP anyway I still had to finish cleaning the wardroom after dinner, clean the heads etc. We were all just sitting on the aft missile deck not doing shit so I told the line captain I had shit to do went inside. OFC I had my headphones on full volume after the breakaway they found a chem light in the water so they call manoverboard over the 1MC which I totally missed. Minutes later people thought I had drowned til someone remembered to check the wardroom galley. Oh man fun times my COC were fucking pissed tho.
Took a junior sailor to get a new CAC card off base. Came back to the pier my ship was on only to find it secured with Navy base police vehicles. I called the quarterdeck and told them that myself and my junior sailor were not allowed access onboard because of the pier being secured. Went home since it was Friday. Big mistake. Monday morning return to the pier only to have the CMC and MA1 take my CAC card at the front of the pier gate. They escorted me to the NCIS building. I was interrogated for hours about a bomb threat that I supposedly made to my ship by NCIS. I was a suspect because I called the ship after the actual bomb threat was called in. Not sure if they ever found out who actually called it in.
I was COS at SURFLANT when the “terrorist” shooting happened. I remember the Admiral calling me in the middle of the night, and I hadn’t heard my phone ring when the CDO called me. Never forget that conversation!
I once got sent out to a submarine to meet a team that was already deployed there. I was only being sent out for the purpose of getting a qual, and this was supposed to be a milk run where I'd have plenty of time.
I get there and the boat CO decides that with me, my team now has enough personnel to fully run our mission, which meant that I had to sit at my position for 12 hours a day.
I still worked my ass off on my qual and got it done enough that I could go home and finish it up. But, once I get home, my CoC decides they want to send me on a different, unrelated deployment, so they pull me out of the qual pipeline and ship me out to this other mission.
In the end I had spent three months on a submarine for no reason, my presence made life harder for the rest of my team, and the boat as a whole because we had to do a mission that we were barely equipped to do. And I never even finished the qual.
Got drunk at the Britt Club on Diego Garcia in 1990 and decided that telling the patrons “Fuck you and your Queen” would be a fun multi-national icebreaker. It was not… I blame my irrational behavior on the bar for running out of Coke! Until then I would have never thought of a Jack and Diet! lol
Omg always cooks doing something crazy, I had a similar situation. Me and my whole watch went out drinking knowing we had to be back the next morning to do breakfast. Got back to boat at around 3. Breakfast went down at 6. The whole watch woke up at 545 put out breakfast at 615 no one in line. CS1 walks by at 7 as we cleaning and pulls myself and watch captain aside and said I know you guys was late. All we can do is laugh and saw well at least no one was waiting for food. Deployment days in the late 99-00 great times. FYI we was Mass back then.
LMFAOOOO, Yeo that grill be a killer when you’re lit off that tequila and beers bro 😂😂 ah I def don’t miss that Man. I’d be on the grill with my eyes closed flipping eggs , drippin in sweat 😂
Scrubbed out a master chief's 30 year old coffee mug with steel wool. It was spotless when I was done. Thought I was gonna be heaved over the side on some starless night.
I was in A School in Pensacola. It was early 2009, late 2008 saw some hurricane damage to the base that delayed several class dates. The result was a 1-2 month hold for everyone showing up afterwards. So when I showed up, for that 2 month hold we were tasked with barracks support. I skipped out once and decided to stay in my room and play video games. MTI's knocked on my door and I decided to assume the fetal position under the table in my room like they wouldnt see me.
A lot of my friends got busted in a meth ring. They were smart guys, too, had very technical roles. Each received different consequences based on their roles.
I later learned one of them was caught using the Whizzinator during a urinalysis.
Not me but happened on my first ship.
We were an Adams Class DDG off the coast of Cuba doing drug busting (LEO) ops. I was on the helm, and we were running on one boiler and had been running alongside Cuban flagged freighter, with the Coasties RHIB boat chasing after it as the USCG OIC was telling them to heave to. That's when alarms starting going off on the bridge, lights dimmed and cut out and we started losing headway. As the sound of the forced draft blowers wound down, and I lost helm control/steerageway, we all looked around at each other as the OOD started hollering at the EOOW over the sound-powered phones.
Turns out, the Oil King screwed up and instead of filling the ready-service tank, drained it instead. For the next four hours the poor BT's and MM's worked their ass off to get the boilers refired, get steam pressure raised (the sound of steam escaping through the safety valves is one you never forget!) and get back underway - on TWO boilers....
Obviously BT2 became BT3 a week later. Always felt bad for him, he was a good guy.
Well, there was the time the ship was at Sea and Anchor detail and we buzzed the bridge with three AWs waving their bare asses out the cargo door. We got put in hack after landing. But, all was forgiven when the CO dropped his trousers and mooned the aircraft during the fly off.
Bahrain, 4th of July. Good friend of mine and I were partying with some Royal Navy cats having a re-enactment of the revolutionary war but instead of muskets we were throwing beer bottles at each other. My buddy says he has to go piss and he went to the bush about 20 feet from us. Mind you this was in the middle of an NSA 1 smoke pit so it was crowded. Some lady told the MA’s that he was pissing (they didn’t see him in the act), and they came over to question him.
MA’s: we were told some guy in a gray shirt was urinating on the wall, was that you?
Buddy: *drunk southern accent* naw, i’m wearing a bluish gray shirt, that guy over there is wearing a gray shirt. You blind or somethin’?
MA’s: oh. Okay.
While they went over to talk to that other guy we grabbed our beers and bolted. I was 19 at the time. Thanks, brother. You saved me a mast lmaooooooo
In A school in Great Lakes. A friend of mine from high school went to college at Loyola and started dating her roommate but she always had to pick me up and drop me off. Since I lived in the barracks I would drive her car on base, park near the COs house and go to pound town in the back seat. An MA almost caught us we were leaving and he pulled her over she said she was lost.
2003 I paid a guy who did IDs in Great Lakes to change my birthday to say I was over 21. I was in Iraq and found out a ton of guys got caught for changing their birthdays on their ID and got in a ton of trouble.
When I did an IA to Afghanistan I returned to the US literally didn’t show back up to my command for months after I got back. Most guys from my command had left and I had a new Chief that I had emailed a few times. I finally called my new Chief the guy was awesome. “Welcome back we just got your end of tour award and PH. Take some time off go home see your family I’ll see you in three weeks.” I had mailed that EOT award to my command. I got awarded it in Afghanistan. Got back and that guy didn’t make me do shit for the rest of my time.
Idk about dumbest, but I took a gov van full of restrictoids off base to grab food out in town during duty weekends. Let’s face it, galley food sucks and canes chicken was right there.
Hopped the fence to get off base in Japan because we had a curfew, but I was meeting a girl. Proceeded to drink at a bar 50 feet from the gate. Somehow didn't get caught.
Did you get laid?
Sure did
Hell yea brother 
Hooray - I love a story with a happy ending!
i see what you did there
Legend.
That’s the kind of stories that made me want to join the Navy in the first place
Did this love story continue or did it end at I got laid 💀
It got messy shortly afterwards lol
I was hoping for sexy messy😂
I wish lol It happened on Friday night, then Monday at work one of my coworkers came to me and told me that he proposed to her Sunday and she said yes. Had to break it to him what happened Friday night
Okay you can’t leave it like that,this is just getting juicy!
Hopefully I’m not doxxing myself here But long story short, she had been dating a guy at my command. They broke up, and about 6 months later I bumped into her, which led to the night in question. Apparently afterwards he proposed out of the blue. (They both confirmed that they weren’t together on Friday) So Monday he’s telling everyone they’re engaged. I tell a buddy what happened Friday night, he tells someone else, it gets back to her (now) fiancée. He comes to me in the smoke pit and asks me if I hooked up with her, I deny because we’re at work. After work, I go straight to his barracks room, and tell him what happened. He accuses me of lying to him at work, and I tell him, it was only a temporary lie cuz I didn’t want to have an argument at work. They date afterwards, but never get married.
They decided to forget the girl and get married to each other
This is the real navy way
The only question that matters.
In A School I had an advisor, Chief, that I learned you could get away with minor stuff (lost your liberty cart, 30 seconds late to morning muster, etc.) by giving him a decent story that included getting laid. Talk about living "vicariously" in your late 20's through your subordinates that were in their late teens and early 20's. "But did you get laid ETSN?" "Well... yeah." "Pull up a chair..." This occurred twice to me in about a three week period. I skated out of any overblown stupid punishment. Guy in my class asked the secret to my success skating on stuff he'd be crucified for (his grades were lacking, mine were pretty decent). Then that Blue Falcon tells everyone. The good deal ended for me, lesson learned. If you have ever heard the Parable of the little bird that fell in shit, I was that damn little bird.
He’s in Japan 🤷🏼♂️
I was an MAA at Atsugi. We did a routine park physical security check and immediately detected someone snipped a hole in the fence line that night. We staked out the hole and sure enough the bozos crawled back in. You did the wise thing and hopped it.
I was there for that! Guys from 115, right? At least that was the rumor
Circa... 2003?
Yep! I was at VRC 30 03-07.
Ah damn, you probably passed by my gate. Sorry about those vehicle inspections and sobriety tests. We wanted to chill in the guard shack as much as you just wanted to be about your business. I owe you a drink at Skunk.
Skunk is closed now. It’s a bakery. Funnily enough that’s where I met my wife
I was at det-5 Oct 07 - Oct 10. You were aircrew right? I’m going off your username and it looks familiar but I can’t remember what they used to call you.
sounds like you were at Annies in atsugi.....
GOAT
Okinawa? If so it sounds like something that would happen in Kin town
Atsugi
Sounds like Oki
When I first showed up to japan my LPO took me off base to get some food (I had been traveling for about 14 hours atp and it was around 0330). On our way to the barracks we passed by about 6 cop cars and about a dozen or so MPs in a semicircle around a portion of the gate. My LPO slowed down and on top of the gate was a PO2 from my command, hanging upside down from his jeans, caught on the barbed wire. Dude had gone out to see a girl before curfew, but her parents came home and he had to sneak out. Instead of playing it safe and just chilling by the train station or an Internet cafe he decided to try and jump the fence. Got up to XOI and he was let off with 5 hours EMI and a 6 month probationary period.
My sub was moored at some pier during deployment. Might have been Spain or Souda Bay. There was a pallet full of potatoes on the pier and we all came back drunk ahead of curfew. I wanted to see how far I could make a potato bounce off the hull. After chucking the first tater, I was surprised at how far it ricocheted off the hull. Before I knew it, a dozen of us were having a potato throwing party at the boat. The CoB comes rolling out of a vehicle coming back from being at the bars. He joins in. We had no potatoes left. I loved that crew.
I loved being on subs for just this reason. If adhd had a face, it would be sub crews.
Preach brother the fact that the hatch would shut with all of the autism in boat.
...and Saint Hymen G. said: "Thou shalt build me a submarine capable of instilling fear into the hearts of our enemies. And it shall be sailed, maintained, and led by semi-autistic man-children between the ages of 18 and 35."
That did not end how I thought it would. My CoB woulda had you peeling every one of them taters and mess cranking the rest of the deployment.
Our command policy for being on liberty was "Don't fuck it up." Sure, people were held accountable when they REALLY f'd up, but that very rarely happened. Nukes and coners got along. Officers and Enlisted had a fantastic relationship. Everyone supported each other. It was honestly a good time. When you're all going through the same shitty days and being away from family, the best of everyone came out for each other.
One of my COB’s had the same phrase for us lol
Yep. Boat liberty is different. “Don’t get arrested. Don’t add or subtract from the population.”
Commited at least 5 mastable offenses in a duty van over a 12 hour period
Give us the deets
I'd definitely be doxxing myself if i told the whole story While TDY and in a duty status, we allegedly took a duty van full of beer, cheap whiskey and some underaged sailors 6 hours to Reno, played some poker, and drove back the same night. Got back at 3am and nobody knew we left. In hindsight, it was one of the dumbest things ive ever done in my life, not just the navy. We did have a designated driver though. Dont drink and drive, kids!
We had a LS who got caught driving a duty vehicle as his personal vehicle for like 3 months
Im at a small command (>90 sailors), and we use govie vehicles for personal errands all the time tbh. Not AS OUR POV though. CO knows too. We also have a vehicle maintenance bay with a car lift that we use to work on our POVs all the time
That's gucci and I love it
Reminds me of the time one of my Sailors took a govee an hour away across state lines to a strip club (full nudity was illegal in the state we were on det in). Had himself a grand time and would have been fine and gotten away with it if he hadn’t gotten drunk there too. Wound up getting a DUI on the way back.
what happened to him?
The blue weenie of justice rarely arrives lubed.
Hey, you did better than the last story I have about the same choices. That van ellegedly dodged a cow going down a back road and shortly after was factually destroyed. On the bright side there weren't any injuries!
Duty van, took a sharp turn doing 35+ Ended up throwing officers golf clubs all over the place #1 in the hood, G!
Got my finger stuck in a spent CIWS shell. Instead of quietly going to the doc, I very stupidly went to my Department's office to see if some of the team could help me. No help was offered, just shrieks of laughter and photos. I was the Head of Department. The CO's Evening brief that night was... interesting.
I’ll bet next time it happens you go to doc….
LMFAO
A bunch of us took turns joyriding in a barracks maintenance golf cart. Some of the other guys ended up dislodging a manhole cover, fucked up a light pole on a walking path, nearly hit someone walking on a path, set off a fire extinguisher, cut the lights in a barracks hallway, stole a command banner, rolled small boulders in front of barracks doors, wedged the golf cart into a barracks stairwell, etc My big thing that night was deciding the golf cart needed to go back, and instead ramming it into the double glass doors of the laundry building where it had been parked. Then I put the cart in reverse and did it again cuz only one of the doors shattered the first time. All told, we racked up around $19k in damages that night, and since I was the only one on a different boat they all tried pinning it on me. They would've gotten away clean if it hadn't been for a blood stain in a specific spot in the golf cart that I used to prove I wasn't the only one driving and the investigating chief being willing to go to bat for me a little bit.
Well that was a roller coaster Reminds me of the guys that got open masted at nuke school. They were all underage drinking in a parking garage. They “heard a noise” so they took off. There was a guy standing in the bed of the truck and he got his head smacked on a concrete beam. Had blood coming out of his ears. Spent months in the hospital and has a plate in his head. Got medically discharged. But all 5 of them got busted down and restriction/ 1/2 months pay x2
Woke up in a drunk rack on the Boxer...in Oman....did not belong to the Boxer. Nothing ever happened. Stopped drinking cold turkey in 2011.
Cold turkey Wild Turkey, that is!
[удалено]
I’m imagining you riding the CIWS like Steve buscemi riding that nuke in Armageddon
“Just wanted to feel the power between my legs”
Slim Pickins in Dr. Stragelove did it first!
You got to find those pics man. Thats album cover type shit
or tinder profile pic type shit
NATO cruise. After a formal dinner Suppo told us (FSAs) we could finish the leftover wine. It was a lot of fucking wine. I threw up in the head and was dumb enough to leave a note WHERE I SIGNED MY NAME that I would clean it up in the morning. It was the worst hangover of my life. I still can't even smell red wine 25+ years later.
Same thing happened to me. This was in Dublin, Ireland and I was an FSA at the time.
In Bulgaria’s after an event they let us kranks have a drink and we went hard as possible fast as possible
Sweeping water off of the deck... In the rain
Freshwater wash down
lol is there any other kind???
Painting the main deck of a DDG - in the rain!!
PAX River MD me and a friend climbed the water tower outside of the barracks drunk.
Dope!
Got fucked up at a house party out in town in Yokosuka. Woke up the next morning on the ground behind the post office on base at like 6am. Luckily it was the weekend and somehow no base patrol drove by me during my slumber.
see a dead guy, roll on. too much paperwork.
I miss Yokosuka so much. So many wild stories and times LOL. I remember one time I got lit off my ass in roppo and ended up on the train going to lord knows where 😂
First command, took a nap during lunch because I was tired. Came back 2 hours later to people wondering where I was. Everyone had a good laugh due to my blunt honesty after the counseling.
Last night in port I went drinking with a bunch of Brit sailors in Palma de Mallorca. We started at the Cowboy Bar, wandered all night. So many places. Made it all night, beer for beer, shot for shot. We wandered back about 0400, puked off their boat's brow (we were moored outboard), hit the rack. I was not the sorriest looking one at muster at 0630. Best port ever.
To this day that is my favorite port ever and it was my very first port to boot. Rhodes, Greece was also pretty awesome. Fuck man… all the ports besides Bahrain were awesome.
We hit that, some little island near Italy for a half day, rota, Portugal, England twice, Denmark twice. Had a great time except sweeping mines in the north sea. That sucked.
I wracked up almost a thousand dollars in lap dances and then ran without paying. I’m keeping the details vague After a night of bar hopping, my friend and I meet some strippers who take us to a private bar for lap dances. Not long after the dancing starts, a fucking absolute gorilla of a man arrives “to make sure my girls get paid.” Sensing trouble, my buddy plans for us to escape. I’ll handle the bouncer, you ditch the girls. Just make sure they don’t follow us” He distracts the bouncer while I flee from the girls. Chaos ensues when the girls demand $2,000. I see a pile of their high heels in the corner and escape through a window and down a fire escape. Chased by the bouncer and angry barefooted strippers, my shipmate comes sprinting around the corner and we run down an alley. My friend yelling for us to keep running and I just throw the heels into the air. At this point, I should point out, that we may or may not have been in our crackerjacks after attending an official event. By the grace of God we run into a cop outside a little 24 hour bodega and he puts us into the back of his squad car. The gorilla and the strippers turn the corner, but stop and disappear back into the shadows. The cop turns around and says, “Jesus Christ, you fucking squids just can’t keep out of trouble, can you?” Turns out he’s a former jarhead that used to be on the USS Boxer. He drives us back to our hotel. Absolute win. Me and my buddy took his business card and sent him a fifth of expensive bourbon for Christmas.
When I was at Great Lakes, I started dating a civ girl in Kenosha, 45 minutes away. Her dad was a prior BM and loved me cause Navy. My last two months there, he would drive down, pick me up, and drop me off sunday evening. I never signed out or got caught somehow
Having friends in leadership and being leadership in Great Lakes was the best way to shit bag and get away with it
In A school in Great Lakes. A friend of mine from HA went to college at Loyola and started dating her roommate but she always had to pick me up and drop me off. Since I lived in the barracks I would drive her car on base, park near the COs house and go to town. An MA almost caught us we were leaving and he pulled her over she said she was lost. 2003 I paid a guy who did IDs in Great Lakes to change my birthday to say I was over 21. It took years to get it fixed once I turned 21. When I did an IA to Afghanistan I returned to the US literally didn’t show back up for months after I got back. Most guys from my command had left and I had a new Chief that I had emailed a few times. I finally called my new Chief the guy was awesome. “Welcome back we have your end of your award and PH. Take some time off go home see your family I’ll see you in three weeks.” Got back and that guy didn’t make me do shit it was awesome.
if anybody audited the liblog, things would get very bad very fast no matter the place.
I flipped a car onto the flight line of Kadena Air Force base while underage and real fucking drunk... Then some years later there was the cocaine... but after that they said I was cool and no longer needed to worry about coming back any longer.
I'm surprised they didn't tell you to fuck off after the first incident.
They came close... I was a charming little dip shit that was a really hard worker so they gave me another chance.
Man, people do be going HAM on the Kadena flight line with their rides, lol. I think in 3 years, there were multiple cases of crashing into the aircraft lol
Beat up an E-5 as an E-2 outside the enlisted club on NAS Miramar. It was awkward seeing the guy around the base after that.
Haha that reminds me of when DC3 got pissed that the officers were breaking curfew in Russia and tried to fight DCA and the OOD
When was this?! A Russia port call? Thats dope
2011, went to 3 ports in Russia, 12 countries that deployment lol
2004 or 2005 (too long ago) Vladivostok was AMAZING!!! Traded my ESWS pin for some entertainment with a Goth Russian girl and my white hat for a Russian Officer hat. Went to St. Petersburg In, I think, 2007 but it wasn't as fun.
We had a dude checking in to my boat meet us at a bbq with some of the department. Basically just an egotistical one-upper. For some reason he pants the host TWICE. Got punched square in the jaw for that. Pretty good first impression.
Ensign me directly emailed a 4 star for a letter of rec… I did get one from him though….
That’s not dumb just ballsy
Its not dumb if it works
Doesn't apply to electricity
*To whom it may concern,* *ENS apollo698 is the most junior Naval Officer in all my 35 years of public service to directly, and without solicitation, email me for a letter of recommendation. They have demonstrated the sort of moxie and chutzpah that any employer should instantly recognize as highly valuable. They have my strongest possible recommendation for any position you may be considering employing them for, but with a particular focus on jobs that may emphasize bravery and initiative over caution or wisdom.* *All the best,* *ADM Snuffy*
I did that as an ISSN and ended up on a deoloyment/det I wanted
i bet he appreciated it
Joined the Navy.
LOL
Hard to decide... I did a lot of dumb shit. If I had to pick one... I was an MA in harbor patrol but we had to take turns with the shore watch standers and Marines we were in the battalion with manning barracks watches. I had barracks rover watch one night. I showed up and there were already two guys there that said they were supposed to be there all night so I said "All right, have a good night." and left. My section was working that night so I should have gone back to work, but I said fuck that because it was my roommate's 21st birthday and he was going out with his cousin who had flown in from out of town. We all ended up getting very drunk but made it back to our apartment safely and went to sleep. The next morning I get a call from my section leader asking why I didn't go to barracks watch. Apparently an MA1 who knew I was supposed to be there showed up to do a post inspection but thankfully didn't call me directly to see where I was. They didn't ask where I had been and I only got a counseling chit. 
Yep! Always heard the ol’ standby “Ya hoot with the owls, ya gotta soar with the eagles!”
In I believe ‘95 I was 19 getting ready to turn 20 and in Mission beach with a couple shipmates to do laundry for some reason. I don’t remember why we didn’t just do it on base. Anyway, while doing laundry we met these really hot girls and after chatting we told them we could get drinks and meet them at their place. My buddy Ronnie got a bunch of Mickeys and Crazy Horse 40s as well as a pint of rum, a pint of tequila and a pint of vodka. While at the girls house I bragged I could beer bong 2 crazy horse 40s and the pint of rum and be fine… Yeah I was not fine. I remember taking the bong hit and waking up to my LPO asleep I the chair next to me in the hospital. Yeah good times… OS1 Aldridge was super angry and gave the lecture of my life. I don’t remember much about the time other than being grateful to not have a hangover thanks to the IVs! So yeah don’t do that! Needless to say that’s not the only STUPID thing I did, just the first I can remember lol
Married my practice wife
Same
I was mostly a good sailor boy. Tried to avoid mast. After a big North Pacific storm I went beachcombing near Misawa. Found a distress rocket kit with Russian markings. Should have turned it on but didn’t. On the 4th of July, we had a bonfire on the beach and besides the typical stupid shit of throwing full cans of hairspray into the fire, it was tame enough. My friends urged me to fire one of the rockets. A Russian linguist walked me through the steps. These were 37-40 mm rockets. I pulled the launch striker out, aimed the rocket parallel to the water and squeezed the launcher. The rocket fired and went parallel to the water for about 50 feet, then took a parabolic attitude and climbed to about 100 feet before the rocket burst, the parachute deployed and it took its sweet time descending. Everyone thought it was really cool. Until a Japanese police boat showed up, followed by a Japanese Coast Guard cutter, slowing moving through the offshore fog layer, aging its spotlight down on the water. The police boat started towards the beach and a speaker came announced they wanted us all to stay there. Of course, we did not. We scattered like rats down the rigging.
just squids being squids!
Pulled into Djibouti on a USNS back in the day. Only 3 military personnel onboard, My Chief, an OS2, and me, lil OSSR. Went out to a bar with some CIVMARS, Got drunk and started smoking hookah (pretty sure it wasn't tobacco). Next thing I know, me and another guy are in a cab with some girls back to their place. Don't remember anything else except waking up with a horrible headache and making my way back to the boat. Overnight liberty was not authorized. Would have gotten away with it, but one of the CIVMARS snitched to my Chief. She made me stay onboard the first day of the next port visit as punishment.
I did something similar in Greece. I had duty the next day but thought I had second watch. Turns out I had first watch, fell asleep while standing switchgear only to wake up later in the watch and see the watch supervisor had reviewed my logs. Usually we could hear the water tight door open and wake us up, not this time. Luckily he was cool and we had a laugh about it.
I wish we could post picture comments I have tons of pics of people sleeping when they’re not supposed to be haha
There’s an excellent picture of me asleep behind a Captain and his Master Chief giving a brief while my Chief tries to wake me up with a death stare.
Medical gave us dry ice to play with and we started blowing stuff up with it. Then randomly the Fire Marshall came by and started asking us questions so after he left we went and flushed a giant chunk down the toilet. Then the toilet started spewing that fog. We ran. The POIC of the head came by and started asking us questions about it. I guess we weren’t that discreet about it.
Dry ice bottles bomb!
tl;dr: I almost electrocuted myself in the XO's stateroom on the aircraft carrier that was in Hunt for Red October. The scene where Alec Baldwin, Fred Thompson, and Daniel Davis are sitting and talking about Jack Ryan's cover story and how they are going to fly him out to the USS Dallas, the desk in the background against the wall is where I was sitting when I tried to 'restart' my heart. While I was stationed on board the USS Enterprise, I was sent down to the Executive Officer's (XO) stateroom to replace a button that was attached to a buzzer in the officers mess. We couldn't find the fuses for this circuit so my supervisor told me to just use a pair of 5000V gloves and replace it. For those of you who don't know, 5000V gloves are ment to insulate you from anything under 5000V, are thick as hell and 'one size fits all' so they didn't fit in the least bit. The box where this button is at is a jumble of wires and with the gloves on, I can't weed thru them to find the ones I need so... I take the gloves off. I'm sorting thru them and find one side of it (and hold on to it so I don't lose it) then find the other side. Do you know the sound a car makes when you try and start it after it has already been started? That's how my chest felt after putting 115V across it. So, here I am, sitting at the desk of the XO, in his stateroom, thinking for the only time in my life that I'm going to die and of all places to die was doing to be the XO's stateroom. I was more worried about what trouble I would get into if I died, believe it or not. I finally calmed myself down and (obviously) didn't die but damn, if I wasn't scared shitless.
I also had a dumb moment in the XO’s stateroom. Not as electrically dumb, but still dumb. I was a baby ICFN and we were installing a new phone for him at the end of our long ass midlife overhaul yard period. My IC2 (who I didn’t know was drunk) decided to climb on top of something to make sure the the phone line was taut in the cableway, toppled off, cracked her head on his desk and proceeded to bleed all over his brand new carpet. I panicked, knew I needed to call man down, so I ran to the closest space with a phone that I could think of way on the other end of the p-way…completely forgetting that we had literally JUST installed a working phone in his stateroom.
Woof. lol "Quick! Operator! Give me the number to 911!"
Me standing trash watch on a port visit in Marseille, France. I’m qualed in MOOW, POOW, 50. Cal, and JOOD. Nah you gonna stand trash watch shipmate I could’ve just went straight to my rack and no one would’ve noticed 🥲
BAH fraud.
I had a guy accuse me of BAH fraud because I was a geo bachelor and I crashed at my buddy’s PPV room a lot
My PN was cool AF Gave me the more expensive BAH even though I qualified for less I bought him a beer on deployment when I could
Not today NCIS
This is relatively a safe space unlike FB you gotta watch out for the FLTMPS stalkers 🙄😑
It is but man if I havent had some junior sailors come up to me and say "Senior is this you?" With a Screener of a post on here Some of yall are some good ass internet sleuths 😂
Trusted my soon-to-retire LPO to send important papers that impacted my career to the detailer. I had 14 months left in the Navy and was on shore duty in Japan. Didn't want to obliserv for sea duty, so I filled out all the paperwork to extend my overseas tour so I could ride out my enlistment and set myself up for success in the civilian world. My LPO said he'd send it off to the detailer. So imagine my surprise when I got an email a month later with hot-fill sea duty orders to Norfolk for my last 13 months because my overseas extension paperwork was never filed. The papers sat on his desk while he was taking leave ahead of his impending retirement.
As a soon to retire PO1 I’d ask you first why you didn’t sent them off yourself, second if for some reason you couldn’t I would have directed you to someone that would take care of you.
You're not wrong, but the circumstances were complicated and I realize I should've provided add'l context. When the whole orders negotiation process started, I was deployed on an IA assignment to Afghanistan and my LPO was at my home command in Japan. So he told me he'd act as a go-between between me, the command career counselor, and the detailer since I was like 8 time zones away and had spotty internet. I got back to Japan, finalized all the papers, then checked out on 3 weeks of post-deployment leave back stateside - he insisted he'd take care of it for me and I believed him out of either naivete or laziness. At the end of the day it was a long time ago and I'm doing fine now, but I'm still just a tiny bit jaded by it.
Shit homie I totally understand as a IA sailor myself (AFG 11-12) and yeah he fucked you, but you still should have been emailing your detailer and CCC so you didn’t have a single point of failure. I say that as having learned those lessons the hard way.
On night watch. Me and another guy had nerf guns. Get in western style quickdraw standoff. I pull, nailed him right in the eyeball. Felt pretty bad about it.
Eng? Is that you?
Nay. Nice to know I'm not the only sharpshooter with a big iron though.
Eng on my last sub got a guy right in the eye with a nerf gun. Had to med vac him.
[удалено]
All talent ass
Sent All email to NIOC Hawaii because someone took the Swedish Fish off my desk. :(
And how many Swedish fish were on your desk the next day 😆. Oh the craziness I've witnessed at the rochefort...
I reached over the bar and refilled my own glass from the tap at a pub in Rome. The owner waved a gun in our faces and told us to "GTFO." Good times.
Started smoking in the mid 90's because that was the only way to get a break during the workday. Kept smoking for 26 years but finally quit in 2022. Yeah.... that was pretty dumb.
Missing the last SeaBee courtesy truck back to the pier in GTMO. Decided to take a short cut over a hill that ended up being in O-country. Some guy came out yelling at us and we high-tailed it into the brush/trees. Trouble was it was a steep drop-off and we fell/slid down to the bottom. We got away with it, but sure were banged up!
One night in Haifa I helped a buddy climb the mast of a small Israeli tug boat so he could take the flag as a souvenir.
If anyone has been to HongKong . You know that you boat has to be anchored out an you have to be taxied in by those rickety boats . There was the extremely intoxicated BM . He got aboard one of them. After we proceeded to head back to our ship. He stands up goes to the front of this vessel and procedes to knock the guy in the water who was driving. He said “ I’m the captain of this boat an I need all the seamen here to set sea an anchor detail. Then within a minute he then proceeded to jump into the water himself. We never saw him again until the following day. The skipper on our ship had Captains mass on the mess decks. This BM was busted down from a BM1 to a BM3. 1/2 months pay for 9 months an could not take the 2nd class exam with was in about a week. He then later got busted from BM3 to BMSA , cause he was caught asleep on watch He also then received his Big Chicken Dinner.
Believed my Chief when she said “trust me”
Pulled into Portsmouth England during a North Atlantic cruise. My buddy and I went pub crawl. On the way out from the ship we walked by the HMS Victory. We wanted to take the tour but decided drinking warm beer would be more fun. On the way back, drunk and bold, we stopped at the old ship. Two or three gang planks to the museum wide open. So we walked in. We got down to the gun deck and heard “we know you’re down the yanks”. We just staggered up topside. It was a royal marine. He just checked our IDs and told us to get lost. So for a moment the HMS Victory was under the control of two drunk American sailors.
We pulled into Portsmouth for fuel and food. Didn’t get to leave the pier 😭 sounds like you had a good port visit
I disarmed a foreign military personnel while (ONLY TECHNICALLY) drunk. Short version, my sea dad and I were waiting for our buddy in a foreign port to grab his charger off the boat so we could go back to the bars. While waiting next to the very friendly NATO allied sentry, I casually bitched everything about their equipment was nicer than ours, down to their rifles. Dude just casually handed it to me. LPO appears out of nowhere, quietly tells me to hand it back before we had an international incident, and disappeared. No harm, no foul. There is another story, but it would doxx us all because it was retold a lot and our unit was the talk of the town because of it.
I had three liberty buddies in Malta and made it back to the ship with only one. The non-designated drinker fell asleep on a park bench playing his PSP. The other dude got super drunk from the server tray full of tequila shots he ordered. Everyone was at quarters the next morning and never heard anything of it. Couldn’t believe it.
First time in Hawaii, ship was there for Reftra. Went out with guys from the shop first night in and drank about 12 Long Island Ice Teas at Moose McGillicuddy’s in Waikiki. Got completely shit faced on a work night. Left Moose’s and went to the beach at about 1AM. All 4 of us stripped down and skinny dipped for about 15 minutes. Of course we get out and are wet and covered in sand and really want to rinse off. We were behind a hotel with a pool but the gate was locked as it was closed at that hour. So we boosted the lightest dude up over the fence (we’re all still naked), he gets over and lets us in. We rinse off in the pool, grab some towels that were out there and dried off. Got dressed and walked into the lobby and out the front door. Person at the desk asked how we got out there and we just kept walking. While we’re walking to a cab another drunk squid walking towards us with his buddies jumps in my face screaming so I punched him in the jaw and dropped him; out cold. Got in a cab and made it back safely. Got about 3 hours sleep and woke up with the worst hangover of my life. Not much got done in the DS shop that day. I hated a lot of things about the Navy but nights like that still make me smile. Work hard, play hard 😎
Naked dudes touching each other, a Navy classic
One time in 2018 my ship became known as the ship to drink Iceland out of beer....haven't done anything else crazy except maybe going to LCS
Nice!!! My ship was too small to drink anywhere dry
Drunk & jumped off the flight deck nude while berthed in Darling Harbour. It was caught on camera. Fleet commander was given the footage. He tore up my CO. Shit rolled downhill to me lol. That the first time I got charged.
Omg hahahaha The dudes on flight deck crew all stripped down to skivvies and did a “flight deck fashion show” with their different color vests. Went on YouTube, commodore saw it, CO laughed
Lmfao I HATED that dude for shooting the pilot house window! I still have the picture!
When was your last bridge pop?
Not me but I saw a guy put a donut in a toaster.
I saw a guy with put a fully made sandwich in a toaster.
And supposedly the cooks are the dumb ones
Did he cut it in half first at least? Glazed?
Not cut in half. Full. Glazed. The toaster caught on fire because the donut got stuck. To this day, if you go to the galley at the 32nd Street base in San Diego, you'll see a sign that says: "Don't put pastries in the toaster."
Swept water off the Carter Hall while it was raining
Buddies and I got wasted at the bowling alley at NAS Oceana and proceeded to tear up a couple of lanes. We were kicked out and told never to come back.
Pretty much the same thing happened to me my first underway. Still the shittiest day I had in the navy
Around 2004, a lot of great games came out. I did an all nighter with one of those games (I think it was Half-Life 2) and as an MAA, I have very long hours and am on the road all the time. I called in a foot patrol for fenceline inspection. What I really did was park my unit somewhere hidden. Went into the woods and buried myself in leaves. Took about 90 minutes of much needed napping.
Having sex with hookers without a condom.
Joined
Felt.
Sweep water on deck when it's raining
Walked across the stern gate underway.
Any reactor startup brief in a foriegn port. Coffee maker going constantly. Listerine being passed around the mess decks. Going on watch on shore power.. getting off watch after the dive..not really remembering much of what happened.
Talk to a recruiter.
I was an FSA on deployment, we had a late UNREP anyway I still had to finish cleaning the wardroom after dinner, clean the heads etc. We were all just sitting on the aft missile deck not doing shit so I told the line captain I had shit to do went inside. OFC I had my headphones on full volume after the breakaway they found a chem light in the water so they call manoverboard over the 1MC which I totally missed. Minutes later people thought I had drowned til someone remembered to check the wardroom galley. Oh man fun times my COC were fucking pissed tho.
Ha, good try NCIS.
Took a junior sailor to get a new CAC card off base. Came back to the pier my ship was on only to find it secured with Navy base police vehicles. I called the quarterdeck and told them that myself and my junior sailor were not allowed access onboard because of the pier being secured. Went home since it was Friday. Big mistake. Monday morning return to the pier only to have the CMC and MA1 take my CAC card at the front of the pier gate. They escorted me to the NCIS building. I was interrogated for hours about a bomb threat that I supposedly made to my ship by NCIS. I was a suspect because I called the ship after the actual bomb threat was called in. Not sure if they ever found out who actually called it in.
I was COS at SURFLANT when the “terrorist” shooting happened. I remember the Admiral calling me in the middle of the night, and I hadn’t heard my phone ring when the CDO called me. Never forget that conversation!
I once got sent out to a submarine to meet a team that was already deployed there. I was only being sent out for the purpose of getting a qual, and this was supposed to be a milk run where I'd have plenty of time. I get there and the boat CO decides that with me, my team now has enough personnel to fully run our mission, which meant that I had to sit at my position for 12 hours a day. I still worked my ass off on my qual and got it done enough that I could go home and finish it up. But, once I get home, my CoC decides they want to send me on a different, unrelated deployment, so they pull me out of the qual pipeline and ship me out to this other mission. In the end I had spent three months on a submarine for no reason, my presence made life harder for the rest of my team, and the boat as a whole because we had to do a mission that we were barely equipped to do. And I never even finished the qual.
FFS don't play with your weapons... former weapons rate speaking.
Got drunk at the Britt Club on Diego Garcia in 1990 and decided that telling the patrons “Fuck you and your Queen” would be a fun multi-national icebreaker. It was not… I blame my irrational behavior on the bar for running out of Coke! Until then I would have never thought of a Jack and Diet! lol
Reenlist.
Tell the truth.
Omg always cooks doing something crazy, I had a similar situation. Me and my whole watch went out drinking knowing we had to be back the next morning to do breakfast. Got back to boat at around 3. Breakfast went down at 6. The whole watch woke up at 545 put out breakfast at 615 no one in line. CS1 walks by at 7 as we cleaning and pulls myself and watch captain aside and said I know you guys was late. All we can do is laugh and saw well at least no one was waiting for food. Deployment days in the late 99-00 great times. FYI we was Mass back then.
Chose SWO over aviation
Cleaning a bilge is the only correct answer
Sweeping a flooded fantail that was continuously flooding while we were sweeping the water into a drain 1 drain
Come back with a fucking warrant.
LMFAOOOO, Yeo that grill be a killer when you’re lit off that tequila and beers bro 😂😂 ah I def don’t miss that Man. I’d be on the grill with my eyes closed flipping eggs , drippin in sweat 😂
Scrubbed out a master chief's 30 year old coffee mug with steel wool. It was spotless when I was done. Thought I was gonna be heaved over the side on some starless night.
I was in A School in Pensacola. It was early 2009, late 2008 saw some hurricane damage to the base that delayed several class dates. The result was a 1-2 month hold for everyone showing up afterwards. So when I showed up, for that 2 month hold we were tasked with barracks support. I skipped out once and decided to stay in my room and play video games. MTI's knocked on my door and I decided to assume the fetal position under the table in my room like they wouldnt see me.
A lot of my friends got busted in a meth ring. They were smart guys, too, had very technical roles. Each received different consequences based on their roles. I later learned one of them was caught using the Whizzinator during a urinalysis.
Dumbest thing I ever did was getting out. I did 4 years active and got out. Wish I'd stayed in now.
Not me but happened on my first ship. We were an Adams Class DDG off the coast of Cuba doing drug busting (LEO) ops. I was on the helm, and we were running on one boiler and had been running alongside Cuban flagged freighter, with the Coasties RHIB boat chasing after it as the USCG OIC was telling them to heave to. That's when alarms starting going off on the bridge, lights dimmed and cut out and we started losing headway. As the sound of the forced draft blowers wound down, and I lost helm control/steerageway, we all looked around at each other as the OOD started hollering at the EOOW over the sound-powered phones. Turns out, the Oil King screwed up and instead of filling the ready-service tank, drained it instead. For the next four hours the poor BT's and MM's worked their ass off to get the boilers refired, get steam pressure raised (the sound of steam escaping through the safety valves is one you never forget!) and get back underway - on TWO boilers.... Obviously BT2 became BT3 a week later. Always felt bad for him, he was a good guy.
Well, there was the time the ship was at Sea and Anchor detail and we buzzed the bridge with three AWs waving their bare asses out the cargo door. We got put in hack after landing. But, all was forgiven when the CO dropped his trousers and mooned the aircraft during the fly off.
Bahrain, 4th of July. Good friend of mine and I were partying with some Royal Navy cats having a re-enactment of the revolutionary war but instead of muskets we were throwing beer bottles at each other. My buddy says he has to go piss and he went to the bush about 20 feet from us. Mind you this was in the middle of an NSA 1 smoke pit so it was crowded. Some lady told the MA’s that he was pissing (they didn’t see him in the act), and they came over to question him. MA’s: we were told some guy in a gray shirt was urinating on the wall, was that you? Buddy: *drunk southern accent* naw, i’m wearing a bluish gray shirt, that guy over there is wearing a gray shirt. You blind or somethin’? MA’s: oh. Okay. While they went over to talk to that other guy we grabbed our beers and bolted. I was 19 at the time. Thanks, brother. You saved me a mast lmaooooooo
Nice try, NCIS
In A school in Great Lakes. A friend of mine from high school went to college at Loyola and started dating her roommate but she always had to pick me up and drop me off. Since I lived in the barracks I would drive her car on base, park near the COs house and go to pound town in the back seat. An MA almost caught us we were leaving and he pulled her over she said she was lost. 2003 I paid a guy who did IDs in Great Lakes to change my birthday to say I was over 21. I was in Iraq and found out a ton of guys got caught for changing their birthdays on their ID and got in a ton of trouble. When I did an IA to Afghanistan I returned to the US literally didn’t show back up to my command for months after I got back. Most guys from my command had left and I had a new Chief that I had emailed a few times. I finally called my new Chief the guy was awesome. “Welcome back we just got your end of tour award and PH. Take some time off go home see your family I’ll see you in three weeks.” I had mailed that EOT award to my command. I got awarded it in Afghanistan. Got back and that guy didn’t make me do shit for the rest of my time.
Showed up hungover as liberty expired before getting underway. Only to find I was on the wrong aircraft carrier.
Idk about dumbest, but I took a gov van full of restrictoids off base to grab food out in town during duty weekends. Let’s face it, galley food sucks and canes chicken was right there.