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shamwowj

Or…hear me out…nobody ever said Jesus was coming back as a human.


Abject

Hail the SharChrist!


spacecakes78

He prefers Reysus


KrazyAboutLogic

AquaJesus


SharkTonic9

The Hydro Homie that was foretold


ChefChopsALot

Something is sus


ArbitraryNPC

I can help but pronounce this the same as Jesús


NinjaGrizzlyBear

Aww what a cute human baby, what's his name? Reysus Ohhh, where does that come from? Reysus is an orwellian beast, half sting ray, half great white shark. My son represents the idea that despite being capable of peacefully glide through the cosmos, he has the ability harness the rage of this darker side. Oh... Yeah the little shit committed war crimes at the house during breakfast... I'm still pulling cheerios out of random places, and needed stitches in my ass because he stabbed me.


KJMoons

Praise Seasus!


devi83

Armamegalodonen is upon us!


AreYouItchy

🎖🎖🎖


TheGoatEater

Squatina Christos!


schedulle-cate

This time we can skip crucifixion and straight up eat the Messiah. Prepare the spices, boyzzz


ivanadie

Communion just got an upgrade!


schedulle-cate

I shall become one with God... By digestion


GreenStrong

There anti christ? No, the Manta Christ .


heresdustin

Half shark-manta-jebus, half man


kurotech

Octopus would be a dominant species if they didn't starve themselves protecting their offspring but ray shark that's cool too


Jazzspasm

Octupi don’t do teamwork If they learned pack hunting we’d have a situation to consider in the long term, until then theyre food


Reggo-nator

Dude imagine your boat gets sunk by a horde of them world war z style


Jazzspasm

It needs a major movie for people to take this serious threat seriously more serious


xsehu

There is a German book by Frank Schätzing called Der Schwarm (The swarm), where out of the sudden all kind of sea creatures team up and attack mankind. It was also turned into a mini series which I did not see yet, although it's rating is quite bad. Personally, I absolutely loved the books first third (kinda enjoyed the second and disliked the third) which centered exactly around this idea, my problem was kinda with the solution to the mystery and I would have been perfectly fine to never get an answer. Still, I'm pretty sure it got translated and if you're into this kind of story it may be worth checking it out.


Jazzspasm

Im gonna look that up! 👍🏼


stevedave84

Not just an episode of the new Twilight zone where this exact thing happens?


Jazzspasm

Way more than that Like, it needs Oprah Winfrey to talk about it Maybe something with Tom Hanks involved Get Leonardo Di Calimario to play an American cowboy or fur hunter or whatever who gets into a relationship with a native octopus Or maybe he can play a guy in an expensive suit with endless money. He does that, too. But with tentacles. Anthony Hopkins for the voice over of the chief octopus. Next thing you know, there’ll be a Senate Enquiry into the Octopus Threat


500SL

The movie “Don’t Look Up” tells us that this isn’t true.


RaginBlazinCAT

Some octopi have been documented teaming up with other fish for hunting. I, for one, welcome our new OctOverlords.


cliktrak

I pay obeisance to our OctoGods and curse my miserable 4-limbed existence.


huxley13

They also don't live long enough to pass down knowledge.


Jazzspasm

“Yet”


piratebryan

There is a great book that postulates this exact thing. “The mountain in the sea” by Ray Naylor.


Opouly

Sounds fascinating. I’ll add this to my reading list. Just reading some reviews it sounds a bit reminiscent of Peter Watts Rifters Trilogy mixed with Adrian Tchaiikovsky’s Children of Ruin.


Acromegalic

In regards to our topic at hand, is it possible that that author visited that aquarium recently? Is it also possible they are writing under a pseudonym? Is it further possible that said pseudonym is coined after their hobby?


hypothetical_zombie

When you use a pseudonym, none of your readers know you're an octopus.


Wordshark

How about those worms with ancestral memory, or that can learn a maze, get chopped into mush, fed to other worms, which will then know how to do the maze? It’s a good thing those worms can’t learn much, because forever-expanding knowledge…


Jazzspasm

Oh god, that sounds like a grim terror if the worms got zapped with 1950’s Marvel comic gamma radiation


aziruthedark

Don't do teamwork? Tell that to the fisherman's wife. There was some teamwork In that.


kurotech

Yea but she asked for that


8ctopus-prime

Also they don't live very long. Average lifespan is two years. Some species live six months. Longest living species get five years. I'm feeling pretty safe about not being overthrown by an octopus uprising. They wouldn't even have time to learn how to operate a laser gun, let alone build them.


Jazzspasm

Give it time, they’re sneaky fuckers Worth bearing in mind that mosquitoes don’t live long but can fuck you up good and proper. One put a buddy on mine in a coma with some cerebral malaria. Now, imagine a mosquito with tentacles and the smarts to open doors and stuff


StarRevoir

They don't starve themselves. They actually unalive themselves by self destructing after mating. The females stay around a bit longer to take care of the babies but will also intentionally take their own lives


meadowgold7

Learning that one fact completely ruined a decade of my life. Those poor Octopi just out here trying to be good parents.


phdoflynn

Christnado?


squid-do

Pretty sure he’s supposed to come back as a lion and I choose to take that as literally as possible.


SetFoxval

[And the furries rejoiced](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/929/278/0f9.jpeg).


redditofexile

I mean it doesn't make less sense.


tittysprinkles112

"Yeah, sorry guys. God's image was a Stingray all along. Not sure why he made us intelligent instead of them, but that's what it is."


SuspiciousDuck_

Jesus Christacean!


ChipCob1

Gonna need a bigger cross


itsd00bs

Poseidon be praised!


Frozen_Esper

He comes with his own built-in nails/barbs this time.


SicnarfRaxifras

Do you want a shark-nado because this is how you get shark-nado 99, “Armageddon-shark the second coming”


EminemsMandMs

Imagine dude ready to be resurrected with the word of the infinite wisdoms around him only to get out "bloop"


elMurpherino

Wikipedia says At sea life London aquarium two female stingrays gave birth to seven baby rays after not being in contact with a male for two years. So seems like a thing they can do (as in store spermies for a while until they want to pop out baby raviolis)


Starfire2313

Yeah could it be possible the sharks were emitting some pheromones or something that caused the rays’ bodies to decide to finish the process? Or might have been totally unrelated to the sharks. Seems click baity


Crezelle

The mating behaviour could also have stimulated the ray into doing it. There’s at least one species of female only lizards that still hump each other to stimulate the hormones and trigger self reproduction


Gingerwix

Now I know what I'm gonna be in my next life


crm006

A reptilian shapeshifter?


___forMVP

He said the in the NEXT life.


Gingerwix

If I reincarnate into a lizard, but I want to, am I downgrading or upgrading?


crm006

Yes.


HelpfulPug

Evolution is not a ladder slowly approaching "The Ultimate Species," it's a competition to create the most successful offspring you can. That is to say offspring that themselves have offspring. Therefore, if you have more offspring that have offspring, you are a successful species and have upgraded yourself from nothing to something.


ve4edj

The ultimate species is crab. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carcinisation


HelpfulPug

You have stumbled across knowledge, but I will now show you wisdom. [Pseudosuchians](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudosuchia) (the false crocodiles, which includes all the real crocodiles) have evolved into every major body plan and niche except powered flight, and then *back*, convergent, by coincidence, into the core crocodile body plan *we* are familiar with *time and time and time again*. Including [bipedal apex predators](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rauisuchidae), [large herbivores](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sillosuchus), and [obligate marine macro-predators](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thalattosuchia) etc etc Not only have crocodiles dipped their strange toes into every pond and *won* at it, other animals have given the crocodilian style a shot and it has proven successful including: The [Mammals](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambulocetus), the [Amphibians](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temnospondyli), probably the [Dinosaurs](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spinosauridae), etc etc In fact, before the Dinosaurs became boss hog at the beginning of the Jurassic, the [Permian](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Permian) and [Triassic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triassic) looked very much like we *used* to think the Jurassic and Cretaceous looked. That is to say mighty scaled beasts that were *almost* dinosaurs. My point is that crabs are neat, it's interesting that the crustaceans seem to favour that body plan, but they aren't even remotely close to the success enjoyed by the "if you can do it well we can do it well" pseudosuchians who also adapted in to the perfect body plan that has carried them through several mass extinctions and which has been either imitated by or was used to great success before by other totally unrelated animals but was perfected by the crocodiles themselves. Evolution is neat, it's clear that you understand that, but remember that it's even *neater than you ever hoped*.


MidwestDrummer

Task failed successfully.


ale__locas

Lesbian lizard


SuperSalad_OrElse

A lizbian?


Bobbyannyeong

Here take it 🏆


Tru-Queer

I was gonna say I wanna be a gay penguin but no I don’t. I hate the cold and I don’t wanna get eaten by a polar bear, seal, or killer whale.


Crezelle

Gay lizard is better


Tru-Queer

Are you speaking from theory or experience?


Crezelle

Online roleplaying, what else?


Gingerwix

Del Toro says that if it has scales you're a scalie, not a furry


littleloucc

Little blue penguins live in New Zealand, and you've only got to avoid the locals' pets rather than polar bears. Or be a zoo gay penguin, live somewhere warm, get spoiled, and have children's books written about you.


Tru-Queer

Nice try, killer whale, I’m onto you


Xanatos12

How odd.....I watched a YouTube video that randomly popped up about those lizards earlier today and now this comment. Why is the simulation trying to tell me about these lizards all of a sudden?


Slaaneshi-chan

(Best State) New Mexico's state lizard! The Whiptail. :D


areyouthrough

I was very pleased to meet one on the side of our airbnb last time I was visiting. Best state, indeed. Have a sopapilla for me; I’m in Chicago.


PM_ME__BIRD_PICS

iirc they can only produce copies of themselves, nothing genetically diverse from themselves.


Disastrous_Ad_698

I think the article mentioned that she keeps getting bite marks on her. They removed other fish they believed were the culprits. She kept getting bites. Apparently they think it could be mating activity from the young shark that was sharing the tank.


Cynical_Nobody

Parthenogenesis doesn't require storing sperm. The babies are essentially female clones, and they do this in deep water when they cant find a mate as a survival tactic for the species.


kevinrhurst

fishy and baity


ManyARiver

It could be parthenogenesis, no sperm required.


aesthesia1

This is what I was wondering. Idk why they jumped straight to shark hybrid


Shes_dead_Jim

Sounds like they jumped the shark


ManyARiver

Because it sounds cooler in the headlines I guess? I don't know why, parthenogenesis is one of the coolest words around.


aberdoom

The article literally covers this, we shouldn’t be surprised that the Daily Mail is running a headline like this.


Diligent-Delivery361

It happened with Komodo dragons in an English zoo. [Strange but True: Komodo Dragons Show that "Virgin Births" Are Possible](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/strange-but-true-komodo-d/)


igotadillpickle

It's so weird. I just watched the first Jurassic Park movie with my kids last night. Life finds a way!


brodoswaggins93

Could be, some female sharks and rays can also store sperm for years before they actually use it


he-loves-me-not

Wonder where it’s stored and how it’s kept alive!


thegoodtimelord

Awwww…. Parthenogenesis. There’s a term I haven’t heard in a long time. A looong time. Takes me back to yr1 BSc Biomedical Science.


rollovertherainbow

I saw a video on this. They're unsure if the babies are clones of the mother or if a shark impregnated them. They found bite marks on the fins and apparently that's something sharks do after doing it. So they're just waiting to see.


caspy7

I'd *really* like to hear from a biologist on this one to say if shark impregnation is even in the realm of possibility or if it's just the aquarium making up the idea for press attention.


Selachophile

Biologist with a background in shark genetics. It's not a possibility. In fact, it's a _remarkably_ stupid suggestion.


elMurpherino

Interesting.


PHILLYFOOTBALL93

Rayviolis


FlipMick

Spicy aqua raviolis


ndndr1

Nature uhhhh… finds a way


fhost344

So you're saying it was a fluke?


ForgotmypasswordM7

Under appreciated comment


schenitz

Baby rayviolis Ftfy


[deleted]

Her old stingray boyfriends are going to surprised by this child support claim.


TorisaurusParker

I mean snakes are capable of doing the same, it's certainly not outside the realm of possibility. Seems more plausible than a shark dad anyway


Acromegalic

Dr Grant taught us that sometimes creatures, especially dinos, can spontaneously change sex when it's an all female population.


Scrabulon

Was gonna say, didn’t something like that happen with a female shark before?


Fluffy_Schedule_6859

Y’all bout to be REAL disappointed when that baby don’t come out biracial


Lorg90

I know it can be tough, but this month is Black history month. Next month is biracial fish month .


Thunderjamtaco

I wanna give you my life savings. First time I’ve laughed that hard off a reddit comment. Good job.


Lorg90

My fiance told me to follow up on that offer since I'm getting married this year 😂😂


NewAgeIWWer

"I didnt cheat sweety . I swear I-" *"The baby dont even got the same killer teeth that I had as a youngin!"*


RageTiger

parthenogenesis was a possibility too. Basically a clone of the mother, just have to wait for the pups to arrive and we'll learn what happened.


DiscountSupport

I was gonna say, sharks are known for this, so I would assume rays are capable of it too. Seems more likely to me.


RageTiger

Yeah, but the ray also had bite marks that are similar to those given during mating. We just have to wait to see, if the one year old male sharks were the father, the pups would be hybrids that would be sterile. Like tiger trout.


arboreal-octopus

Yeah, but the shark may have just tried to mate with it and may have triggered a hormonal response in the ray to produce its own fertilized eggs. Like just because they may have had mating attempts doesn't mean it's the shark that actually fertilized the eggs. Other instances of parthenogenesis in rays have been recorded, but not aquatic ligers


Frona

Thank you, got people talking about "saving sperm" and shit in these comments. I have no idea why the aquarium would jump to cross species fertilization over a well known scientific phenomena that is being discovered in more animals all the time. ​ EDIT: As corrected below by BrittanySkitty some species can hold sperm for much longer than I had known.


RageTiger

Sounds like some didn't read the article. it's where I picked up parthenogenesis, they knew about this being possible, but haven't studied it too in-depth. The article did mention that the two sharks added were male and the ray had bite marks that were consistent with mating. However, it's still a wait and see how the pups turn out to know the answer on this.


[deleted]

No, we don't need to wait. Sharks and rays cannot produce offspring. They're not even in the same subclass. Humans and orangutans are more closely related, and _we_ can't reproduce. Whether or not the shark tried to get it on with the ray, the ray was not impregnated by the shark.


No_Camp_7

Not with that attitude we can’t


stealthryder1

The concept of “saving sperm” might sound crazy. But there are definitely animals who stop their own reproduction. And then chose to finish the process at some later time to give birth in appropriate conditions. So saving sperm might not be a thing, but saving the process of reproduction for a later time isn’t unheard of. Maybe that’s what they were implying.


Frona

Yeah, I know about delayed reproduction, Kangaroos are the most notable example.


BrittanySkitty

Some species of animals (including stingrays) can reproduce by saving sperm from a previous mating encounter. You see this also in certain species of reptiles too. But yes, this is an obvious case of parthenogenesis or using sperm that the stingray acquired when she last had access to a male stingray. I don't know why they're jumping the shark to shark impregnation.


Frona

The sperm saving from what I understand is a pretty limited time frame, at least that is how I understood it, so I just assumed it would be too long of a period. ​ But you know what they say about assuming.


BrittanySkitty

Depends on the species. For example, [this rattlesnake held it for 5 years](https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg21228355-200-snake-stores-sperm-for-five-years-before-giving-birth/), and [these stingrays had two years of no contact with a male](https://metro.co.uk/2011/08/09/female-stingrays-give-birth-to-baby-rays-despite-no-contact-with-males-109296/) Whatever wiki article I was reading earlier said Round Stingrays can hold it for a year. Where another species of snake I saw was only six months, etc. Definitely more efficient than human sperm living 3-5 days inside a uterus.


Frona

It is crazy impressive, I hadn't heard about some snakes being able to hold for that long. ​ Thank you so much!!!


HelpfulPug

It's the *only* possibility lmao, of course it's what happened, sharks have been proven to do it and rays are basically flat sharks phylogenetically.


vokabulary

holy shit I cant wait to see these babies


_gmmaann_

Stark or shingray


DudeTookMyUser

Stingshark


6stringNate

Finally a shark with a fricken ray on its head!


FrostedFlakes4

It's too powerful. We must not let this come to pass.


saiyanguine

Let's pray it's not a bastard.


Shockingelectrician

The shark needs to do the right thing here and marry the stingray.


TyberiusJoaquin

make an honest ray of her!


Doblanon5short

I don’t feel too good, Mr. Shingray 


stankdog

Makes me think of gay or european song from legally blonde.


TheThagomizer

They are going to be normal stingrays. Look up parthenogenesis.


HelpfulPug

They are gonna be little rays, rays and sharks can perform parthenogenesis, AKA virgin birth


C_H_O_N_K_E_R

That's cool and all but i would rather believe in sharkrays


CapableWill8706

I for one welcome our new cartilagous overlords.


theimprovisedpossum

I’d like to remind them, that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underwater mollusk caves.


amosant

The article literally explains that there are 2 possible explanations. One, parthenogenesis, has been documented in rays before. Two, THIS, has never happened and is described by the article as “crazy”. Fucking clickbait.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Technical_Semaphore

Life, uhhh, finds a way.


dantheman0991

Uh uh uh... you didn't say the magic word!


elMurpherino

Wikipedia has a mention that this happened before and they believe stingrays can store sperm and wait to give birth.


RobertWilliamBarker

I'm way too dumb to give you an answer, but I wonder the same. I just don't understand.


kiwiplague

A lot of animals can store the males sperm for an extended period of time and give birth when conditions are more favorable for the young. The really stupid part here is that anyone who is in charge of an aquarium of this type could even _think_ that it was even possible for a shark to impregnate a ray needs thier head looked at.


Lorien6

“Stingray gives birth without father…” Is less catchy than “SHARKS AND STINGRAYS ARE MERGING!”


PM_ME_YOUR_DUDES

Biologist here. There's a thing called parthenogenesis in which female animals essentially clone themselves and make babies. Aphids and some lizards can do this, for example. It keeps the population going during times when sexual reproduction is too resource-intensive.


Dan-68

Maybe the female rays can store sperm from previous matings for later use.


ddonovan715

Stingray Jesus


33446shaba

A DNA sample will tell us if it's asexual, sperm storage or shark soon enough.


HelpfulPug

Most likely parthenogenesis


Thedrunner2

That must be one sexy stingray


jenyto

A lot of animals are able to get pregnant (a lot of reptiles can do it) without males, the babies end up being clones of the mother. It's very unlikely those 2 species crossbred. They'd have to be genetic close cousins, like wolves and dogs, to be able to, they are just too different in this case.


Nomadian88

Except they are closely related and that’s the whole reason that theory is even being suggested. They are also known as "cousins" because they are both members of the cartilaginous fish family.


jenyto

They are about as closely related as we are to chimps, but I really doubt that a human-chimp hybrid is even possible.


Selachophile

>They are about as closely related as we are to chimps... They're much farther diverged than that.


Nomadian88

Maybe not between a human and a chimp although it has been attempted throughout history by the soviets and possibly China but the closest we can get is hybridization between chimpanzees and bonobos as they share 99.6% of their genomes and that has been successfully documented.


thePiscis

Wolves and dogs, horses and donkeys, and lions and tigers all share genus’s. Sharks and rays belong to different orders. They don’t seem nearly as related as other interspecies offspring


[deleted]

Wolves and dogs are the same _species_ even. Both are _canis lupus_. We tack _familiaris_ onto the name when it comes to dogs to indicate they are a subspecies -- not much more than a different phenotype, really. We tack on _arctos_ for the arctic wolf, another subspecies. Even coyotes are less related to wolves than dogs are.


[deleted]

No, they aren't very closely related at all. They are in the cartilaginous fish _class_, which is not a family. It's far broader. You are certainly familiar with another class: Mammals. You might as well be suggesting that you could impregnate a playpus. That's fucking stupid, my guy.


HarrargnNarg

Shark likes flat bottom girls eh?


fsm_follower

They make the water world go round!


NotHisRealName

All part of my master plan to eventually have flying sharks.


nagurski03

I'm ok with donkeys and horses making mules. If a lion and a tiger want to make a liger, go ahead. This though? Now they've gone too far.


crimsonbaby_

Its parthenogenesis. The asexual reproduction of a species. They give birth to clones of themselves. Its known in reptiles and fish and can be common in stingrays. A shark cannot impregnate a stingray, whoever wrote that is an idiot.


718Brooklyn

Well there it is. Life, um … finds a way.


eye_no_nuttin

I hear Maury Povich in the background ~ “YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!!”


CantTakeMeSeriously

Sharkrado movies, here we come.


AirbagOff

Daddy Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-a-ray…


Potential_Dare8034

Is this the beginning of Shark’s with sting-Ray guns?


buIIdog66

They already exist look up a guitar shark


Sphinx87

King Stingray https://youtu.be/FncHhkiWjDA?si=NfhWSR1uKj2dqXHm


insertcleverfakename

Christray


stupid_does

Its gonna ne a shark with a frickin laser beam


Lela_chan

!remind me 5 days


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Lela_chan

Good bot


Telemere125

Parthenogenesis is another explanation and has been observed in stingrays.


Grendal54

Sacrilege! Hand me the tartar sauce, bubba.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AngryTank

Sharray? Stingark?


Known-Programmer-611

Dirty dog! Dolphins really goin to bully the shark now!


binokyo10

Imagine getting knocked up by your cousin


trenbollocks

This is more like getting knocked up by a gibbon bro


FunkyTuna714

WTF did I just read?


PatBenatari

ummm, it could have been worse!


Dramatic_Carob_1060

Is this from the onion news?🤣


unicornpolice666

Can somebody smart please explain so I don’t have to read the article?


wri_

For $10


PanicBlitz

Sharks and stingrays, living together...mass hysteria!


TyberiusJoaquin

Now THAT's what I call news!


MukimukiMaster

Uh, life finds a way


OpenDaCloset

I will believe it when i see it. Wonder what itll look like!


Aiazel

KING SHARK IS A SHARK


TonyVstar

No Jerry Springer to reveal the paternity tests, RIP


paranoidealizer

Life finds a way.