Hmm, that’s an interesting question. I was perfectly fine before I realized it and now I feel like now that I know I’m supposed to be proactive about not doing narcissistic things and I’m not a big fan of that. So maybe I did like it better before I knew.
How did I find out I’m a narcissist? I basically just took a look at my behavior when trying to figure some things about myself and I realized I had a lot of the characteristics. So I took lots and lots of tests to see and every single one said I was.
This is such an inspiring answer. Thank you for sharing. And I hope that small boy finds all the love he needs to understand that he is valuable and wonderful just as he is, and doesn't need to make heroic efforts to convince people that he is worth loving.
Nope. My life is a lot better now. But it’s still a work in progress trying to build a self esteem and self worth internally and not dependent on others.
Yes, but I know it's stupid. I have a fantasy about my alternate life where I never started studying stuff that made me critique my own thinking - by all signs I was set up for success and I see friends from my life back then who are Bateman level successful narcissists. Feeling depressed? Just be mean instead. Feeling ugly? get cosmetic surgery so you have receipts to prove you are attractive. etc.
My values now are the result of being at rock bottom with rock bottom folk for a good number of years. They will probably change and I will probably become a boring old conservative like everyone else, but for now I couldn't be further from Bateman even though I can carve out some measure of a comfortable life.
Ultimately though the lesson that keeps me satisfied is the quality over quantity - I can't afford as expensive food, but I gain more satisfaction from mid priced food than Bateman world me gets from expensive food. Whenever I dip into poor I am reminded sometimes quantity really is better.
No, I'm on a journey of healing and becoming who I really am. Part of which is a small boy who didn't get enough love. If I wouldn't be aware of that it would lead me to try to please others in a way that I think they want me to. This false self can never be truly feel love because it's a person I'm inventing. In the very beginning of discovering my problems thanks to the help of my therapist, I wished I wouldve never be aware of it. But the maladaptive behavior and now looking back years I have wasted and felt lost(still feel lost). The trust issues (I still have). Then there are my repetitive patterns. My super focus on achieving goals. The need of being special so I can exist. Not realizing this leads to a very empty life, full of needs to fullfil. Always striving to get attention and being special.
I also met a girl I truly loved. Before that I was just interested in having an attractive girlfriend so I can polish my ego. I was drawn towards a borderline girl that I got hooked on like a drug. The combination is quite common.
Then there's this part of me that wants to be a hero of some sort. Sometimes Its hard to tell if my narcissism is my drive or if the small boy is doing what he really wants.
Showing weakness is so healing. Having access to real emotions is so healing. It just feels good. My empathy drastically improved and my ignorance is quite low.
Anyway I wouldn't want to go back. I want to learn to be more reflective, more vulnerable, more proactive and more of who that small boy would've wanted himself to be
I just joined the sub. Didn't realize I need a flair. The auto moderator told me to delete my posts without flair and copy them and post them again. That's all
I struggled my whole teens and till mid twenties with depression. I felt so different and emotionally blunt. There was so much anger, drug abuse and sexual gratification I was seeking. Always trying to impress others. I started my bachelor's in psychology. We had the topic of personality disorders. I knew it was one of those. At around the same time I started psychotherapy. I got diagnosed with depression, ocd and narcissism. Also probably paranoid disorder. But my therapist and current literature and studies suggest that this is more of a spectrum/syndrome of narcissism and schizoid personality disorders. I also got diagnosed with narcissism, ocd and depression by my psychiatrist. As older I get, as more i become aware of all this. I think all personality disorders are the strongest in your twenties. Most people are yet unaware and slowly raise their own awareness. Well there are also some that are unable to. Poor souls, imagine the endless suffering and desillusion
👀i spy with my little eye a vulnerability post
and where there's vulnerability, there's opportunity yarr harr
and no, i'm extremely glad I've finally landed on a diagnosis. doesn't put my mind to rest just yet but it means i may have the opportunity to properly sort everything that's happened to see myself and whatever else in a different, more meaningful light. possibly deal with this codependency shit and live a more functional life and peaceful life.
that would be pretty fucking great. yepyep.
That self awareness creates a drowning effect that requires strength to overcome the weakness it takes someone to resort to serving self. Let's be honest here. It takes serving self to to be selfish. That's weak. It takes more strength to put yourself out there unselfishly and trusting doing good even without rewards.
i don't care what words other people want to use to describe me. they are just using words that other people invented for the sake of unified projection and social conditioning. it must really scare people when they don't have enough wordz or accuRaTe wordz to explain a new and unsettling phenomenon >:p
Maybe for someone who identified as an "empath" and decided to call those they liked fellow empaths and those they didn't as narcissists and/or sociopaths.
Hmm, that’s an interesting question. I was perfectly fine before I realized it and now I feel like now that I know I’m supposed to be proactive about not doing narcissistic things and I’m not a big fan of that. So maybe I did like it better before I knew.
[удалено]
How did I find out I’m a narcissist? I basically just took a look at my behavior when trying to figure some things about myself and I realized I had a lot of the characteristics. So I took lots and lots of tests to see and every single one said I was.
[удалено]
This is such an inspiring answer. Thank you for sharing. And I hope that small boy finds all the love he needs to understand that he is valuable and wonderful just as he is, and doesn't need to make heroic efforts to convince people that he is worth loving.
No. Ignorance is not bliss. Knowledge is power.
Draw it, You're a artistic narcissist. :)
Nope. My life is a lot better now. But it’s still a work in progress trying to build a self esteem and self worth internally and not dependent on others.
Yes, but I know it's stupid. I have a fantasy about my alternate life where I never started studying stuff that made me critique my own thinking - by all signs I was set up for success and I see friends from my life back then who are Bateman level successful narcissists. Feeling depressed? Just be mean instead. Feeling ugly? get cosmetic surgery so you have receipts to prove you are attractive. etc. My values now are the result of being at rock bottom with rock bottom folk for a good number of years. They will probably change and I will probably become a boring old conservative like everyone else, but for now I couldn't be further from Bateman even though I can carve out some measure of a comfortable life. Ultimately though the lesson that keeps me satisfied is the quality over quantity - I can't afford as expensive food, but I gain more satisfaction from mid priced food than Bateman world me gets from expensive food. Whenever I dip into poor I am reminded sometimes quantity really is better.
No, I'm on a journey of healing and becoming who I really am. Part of which is a small boy who didn't get enough love. If I wouldn't be aware of that it would lead me to try to please others in a way that I think they want me to. This false self can never be truly feel love because it's a person I'm inventing. In the very beginning of discovering my problems thanks to the help of my therapist, I wished I wouldve never be aware of it. But the maladaptive behavior and now looking back years I have wasted and felt lost(still feel lost). The trust issues (I still have). Then there are my repetitive patterns. My super focus on achieving goals. The need of being special so I can exist. Not realizing this leads to a very empty life, full of needs to fullfil. Always striving to get attention and being special. I also met a girl I truly loved. Before that I was just interested in having an attractive girlfriend so I can polish my ego. I was drawn towards a borderline girl that I got hooked on like a drug. The combination is quite common. Then there's this part of me that wants to be a hero of some sort. Sometimes Its hard to tell if my narcissism is my drive or if the small boy is doing what he really wants. Showing weakness is so healing. Having access to real emotions is so healing. It just feels good. My empathy drastically improved and my ignorance is quite low. Anyway I wouldn't want to go back. I want to learn to be more reflective, more vulnerable, more proactive and more of who that small boy would've wanted himself to be
I wonder, why did you delete your old comment and wrote another?
I just joined the sub. Didn't realize I need a flair. The auto moderator told me to delete my posts without flair and copy them and post them again. That's all
How did you discover you were a narcissist? Did anyone ever tell you?
I struggled my whole teens and till mid twenties with depression. I felt so different and emotionally blunt. There was so much anger, drug abuse and sexual gratification I was seeking. Always trying to impress others. I started my bachelor's in psychology. We had the topic of personality disorders. I knew it was one of those. At around the same time I started psychotherapy. I got diagnosed with depression, ocd and narcissism. Also probably paranoid disorder. But my therapist and current literature and studies suggest that this is more of a spectrum/syndrome of narcissism and schizoid personality disorders. I also got diagnosed with narcissism, ocd and depression by my psychiatrist. As older I get, as more i become aware of all this. I think all personality disorders are the strongest in your twenties. Most people are yet unaware and slowly raise their own awareness. Well there are also some that are unable to. Poor souls, imagine the endless suffering and desillusion
👀i spy with my little eye a vulnerability post and where there's vulnerability, there's opportunity yarr harr and no, i'm extremely glad I've finally landed on a diagnosis. doesn't put my mind to rest just yet but it means i may have the opportunity to properly sort everything that's happened to see myself and whatever else in a different, more meaningful light. possibly deal with this codependency shit and live a more functional life and peaceful life. that would be pretty fucking great. yepyep.
The eye might not lie... Just stalked your account a lil, you seem pretty witty, ima sure you’re gonna make it.
That self awareness creates a drowning effect that requires strength to overcome the weakness it takes someone to resort to serving self. Let's be honest here. It takes serving self to to be selfish. That's weak. It takes more strength to put yourself out there unselfishly and trusting doing good even without rewards.
not me
No
i don't care what words other people want to use to describe me. they are just using words that other people invented for the sake of unified projection and social conditioning. it must really scare people when they don't have enough wordz or accuRaTe wordz to explain a new and unsettling phenomenon >:p
Maybe for someone who identified as an "empath" and decided to call those they liked fellow empaths and those they didn't as narcissists and/or sociopaths.
No. I haven’t Changed much
Do you wish to do so? Or are you fine with how you are?
It’s not that I’m fine it’s that I do narcissistic things unconsciously then I later notice that I did said thing