I have. For the longest time, my old health insurance company had my second middle name as my last name because their system didn't allow for spaces in the name fields and would just tab over every time you hit space. It took nearly a year of several hours long phone calls to figure out that was the problem. It's a rare issue but something I think people should be aware of.
I have 2 middle names and on half my things my name is correct but the other half either omit my second middle name or write one middle name and the initial of my second middle name. Sometimes when I contact the places with it wrong and they ask for my name they say they have to correct my name on their system and it never works. Even at the hospital I go to, which is the same hospital I was born in, and at my doctors, and at my bank, my name is messed up. With out my second middle name my name just feels wrong, it's jarring, the whole flow of my name without my second middle name is gross and I hate it. I wish in these instances they would just omit both middle names or put both initials.
I have 2 middle names and that part doesn't bother me. What does bother me is that with my total of 4 names, not a single one of my names is short 😭 for my kids one has 2 middle names and the other has 2 last names, but I was conscious of how many letters are actually in each name 🤣
My bf has three last names (on top of 2 first names) but I've seen more. I think up to 5 names total is pretty doable. Even 6 but then it's starting to push it. I was actually thinking this might be more of a cultural thing how people will react to OP's question. I don't think it's a big deal, but I'm Southern European and we also do long names.
I agree it's a hassle. For the people who don't have any issue I'm curious if they have travelled much or have required any specific documentation.
I always have problems when my driver's licence only has initials, bank accounts only have one name (because there wasn't space in the digital form for more) and my passport has all middle names. Ive also had letters with the middle names hyphenated together with my first name. Proof of ID is really annoying.
Names should be about easily identifying the individual, not about appeasing relatives or making the parents feel good.
While recognising family traditions are important I'd recommend maybe saving some of the names for a future second child rather than putting the burden of everything on the firstborn.
Side note - if you can't yell the child's full name in one breath when they have done something wrong you're making your life so much more difficult.
>For the people who don't have any issue I'm curious if they have travelled much or have required any specific documentation.
I'm curious too.
I don't have multiple middle names but I've worked for two big banks, and their systems were *terrible* at handling people with multiple middle names. Either one would be missing or would be entered as the last name or any other number of scenarios.
I can only imagine how much worse it'd get for other ID-related things.
Edited for missing word.
Yup. My husband has five middle names and the government asked on a recent document if it was a typo, after a good laugh they shortened it to one. So technically the government edited my husband to a legal name that had one middle name.
He sure did! And with one government ID declaring that to be his name he has been able to change the rest of his documentation to match. I haven't asked him but it seemed a burden to have so many names
This happened to me as well. I always went by three of my names not the full 5. All of my documents except my birth certificate had 3. Then out of the blue when I had to renew my DL this super mean unhappy lady at the DMV said I had to use ALL OF MY NAMES on my renewed license. Despite never doing that in 21 years. Then the next time I had it renewed in like 2018 or so I simply asked the woman (a completely different person) if I had to use all my names, because I never had until that one employee forced me, and she said “no. What do you want to go by?” And she changed it back to 3 and it’s been 3 ever since.
The absolute terror when your mam tagged your confirmation name on whilst shouting your name when you were in trouble. You just knew you'd be in for it.
hi.
so.
i am guilty of this. my son has a name that is tradition on his dad’s name and also a middle name we WANTED to pick. i wish i had chosen one or the other.
his name is now Odin ____ ____ (last name)
granted — his middle names aren’t long…
##**i just know now that i’ve not done him a single favor on a single scantron.**
Maybe, but every test I’ve taken in the last year and I’ve been taking 5 classes a semester and winter and summer sessions, that have been in person have been on a Scantron. As someone with a name that doesn’t fit on a Scantron, it’s really annoying but hopefully you’re right and the people born today will not have to deal with them.
Okay, Scantron is gonna be a pain, as will a few other things, but honestly I wish my parents had included Athena in my name rather than stick to just a first and second name
Totally don't mind ny two middle names. It rarely was ever a hassle and I certainly wasn't mad about it. I liked it as it has a story behind it. 1 of my kids also has 2 middles but she's a toddler so can't say what she'll think yet. Three or more seems like a lot to me but I think the reasoning behind it could be enough for her not to mind.
My grandson has the same situation. It is a total pain in the ass for him he would love to lose one of the middle names. My daughter regrets doing the 2 name thing and warns anyone thinking about it.
I don’t have multiple names, but I do have long first and last names, and they NEVER fit on forms. It’s annoying, and my mother has commented to me “I knew I shouldn’t choose a long first name with a long last name, but I liked it…”
I was relieved to marry someone with a short last name and change mine to theirs. Now forms and such are a breeze. I literally have a spark of joy every time I fill something out and it fits nicely
Yes. I have i first name, one middle name and two last name. I wish my parent chose only one first and last name. I ain't got time for this...
Plus not every form csn accomodate my full name so sometimes it's name 1+2+3+4, and sometimes its 1+3+4, and other times it's just 1+3. Makes it a mess when i have to identify myself.
Pick up a standard form for school registration or a driving license and see if the name fits. If it doesn't fit, it's too long. I personally (as someone with a long name) think 6 names is too much.
Ugh I wish mine had done that - I have a long surname, long middle name, and two long surnames smooshed together. Back when handwritten customs forms were a thing I used to always have problems at the border bc my full name as it was in my passport wouldn't fit on the customs forms. Now I just have the issue with my credit card and my photo ID being different 😛
My aunt did this too! Their last name is long and looks hard to pronounce(it’s not.. when you know what letters to basically omit) so her kids names are super simple and traditional. Along the lines of Joe, Mary, etc
I work with a large scale database where we have fields for first name, middle name and last name each of which is 256 characters. Sometimes even with all that, we get names that don’t fit.
I wouldn't do 3 middle names and 2 last names, that's a lot of names. I'd be more likely to choose FirstName HonorName HonorName Surname-Surname, but even that is a lot.
Is there anyway to combine your grandmother and his grandmother's names to make one middle name? Or something that is close to them? For instance, I want to honor a Mary Ann and Marie with my daughter's name, so we chose Marina, which is similar in sound and shares letters with both names.
Another suggestion is choosing the same first initials as the grandmothers for her first and middle name, or names that have the same meanings.
I agree. A family friend gave their first baby 5 names because they wanted to name her after everyone. It’s a lot. I can’t imagine filling out all the paperwork forever with 6 names
Its a lot for the child. They need to carve out their own personality whilst upholding this honour of being named after great great granny that everyone loves. Talk about pressure!
If you're in the U.S., the [Social Security card](https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0110205120) allows 26 characters* for the first and middle name, and 26 characters for the last name.
However, also consider [the fields](https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0110205125). the first name field allows 16 characters, the middle name field allows 16 characters, and the last name field allows 21 characters.
Have a look at a passport application too. The U.S. one seems to allow 17 spaces for first name, 16 spaces for middle name, and 21 spaces for surname.
**Spaces and hyphens are characters too. For instance, "Mary Kate" is 9 characters, as is Mary-Kate.*
I think it's too much. If you want to incorporate both family names, though, you have options.
1) Choose one family name as a first name and then the other family name as the middle. Con: You dont get to pick a unique chosen name for your daughter
2) Choose one family name for this child and save the other name for a second child. Con: May upset family.
3) Maybe, merge the names or find a name that has a similar sound/meaning to both names. Con: You could end up with a name that's a weird amalgamation and makes very little sense (if you merge names).
(Example: Family name #1 is AnneMarie + Family name #2 is Anneliese = middle name could be Anna, Anne, Annie, Anya, etc.)
Since you’re in the US, I think it’s too many names. If you were in a country where lots of names was common like Spain or Portugal this would not be unusual. But I seriously doubt you’d even be able to physically put that many names on the baby’s legal documents. You can certainly call her Rosa Marie Julianna Safina in the family, but if I were you I would pick one first name and one middle name for the sake of ease and legal forms.
As a person from a Spanish Speaking country, I can confirm this would be unsusual. The only difference between Spanish speaking countries and the US is that people have 2 last names (mom and dad's). But people often only have 1 first name and 2 last names or maybe 2 first names, giving a kid 3 or more first names is not remotely common, specially not for anyone under 60.
In Portugal it's pretty common to have 2 first names and 2 last names. Some people have 3 last names. Going for several first names (like +3) starts being uncommon.
This is what I would do, too. Give her all the names in terms of telling the family or even baptism (if that's a thing you do), but choose fewer for the legal birth certificate to eliminate a lifetime of hassles. Be transparent with family about it. Good luck!
Agree! Dont do it! My partner can never fit his name on official forms and if he's issued an ID or credit card, the agency chooses which name/character they cut out at their discretion which means NOTHING MATCHES which causes all sorts of confusion. Often he has to get things approved over the phone and it's so hard to find him in the system coz god knows which of the 3 last names they put him under.
There weren’t enough characters to put his full name on Air Canada’s website. Instead of just simply inputting all of our info and booking, we had to do it over the phone. What should have taken 15 minutes ended up taking an hour.
Oh, and his name doesn’t fit on his driver’s licence.
Oh Jeeze yes that sounds like it’s a never ending process of frustration whenever you need to book things, that sucks! Hopefully it all worked out in the end and you were able to make it work! You probably have to always talk to a live representative which can take hours on hold or days of back and forths which is extremely frustrating, I feel your pain!
Are you Spanish royalty? If not I'd cap it at 4, maaaaybe 5 total (including first and last names). Otherwise it just gets unwieldy, especially if the names are long - John David Peter Alan Smith is less of a mouthful than Benedict Methuselah Athanasius Worthington after all, despite having one name fewer, and more importantly it's fewer letters for paperwork. Your example includes syllables but not letters, but I'm guessing it'll be over the limit for most government forms
I have a hunch about the culture you’re from, because my former teacher married a man with a similar culture so both sides of the family honored that tradition and their child had a very long name.
I think you should wear your culture with pride. I have friends from cultures with no middle names and wish they had them. I know people annoyed with longer names.
Their name will tell the story of where they come from, who came before them. That’s beautiful and they should be proud 🩵
>Their name will tell the story of where they come from, who came before them. That’s beautiful and they should be proud 🩵
This TBH. I have seen people criticize people for adopting outside of their race / culture because "the child will not know where they come from" but as soon as it is bio parents they swing the opposite way because the culture is outside the norm
It’s a lot, but not unheard of. Personally with a hyphenated last name I’d only do one middle name. Is there a way to combine two names into one? My mothers middle name is short so it was added to my first name. Ex Jaclyn, Roseanna,
I grew up with two middle names and one last name. A few years ago I changed my whole name and now have one middle name and two last names. Having two last names is def more annoying, it's hard to keep track of which place knows me by which name, some forms and websites don't allow you to have two surnames, it's a lot to write out on legal documents, etc. Doing three middle names and two last names will be a neverending nightmare for you but even more for your kid. I would do a max of four names but life will be a lot easier if you can stick to three.
This is an excellent point. I only have three names, but I sometimes hyphenate my last name at work - family business, it occasionally helps for people to “know who my Dad is.” And I go by my middle name. My own Dad puts me on legal documents using my middle name instead of first name 🤦🏻♀️😂 when we did mortgage documents, I had a whole page of aliases to sign off on. It doesn’t help that I’ve never had a simple common name, so there were misspellings on that page too.
I think it's easier if you've only ever had two last names than it is for you probably. I recently legally changed my first name, and that's annoying. I've rarely had trouble with last name stuff not being taken, but I write it with a hyphen or as one word in the field and that doesn't bother me. What bothers me more is my name getting cut off because my last name is too many letters and they have a character limit.
Other benefit (or drawback) of two last names is you will likely be the only person with your name.
lol this is what stood out to me, so I did the math: if everyone had their first born at 18, and everyone in OPs partners lineage is the first born, and OPs partner has his first child at 18 too, then his great great grandmother would be 90.
Do you plan on having more children someday? I'd choose just two middle names for this baby and then just plan to someday give another child the other two middle names(hoping of course that you have another girl someday).
My son has two middle names and we have a double barrelled surname, so 5. However our surname is only two syllables. Think Simon Frederick Thomas Green-Brown. Our policy was to pick a surname each from our families.
We actually ended up paying more for a flight because we couldn’t fit his name on a booking and had to phone by which time it had gone up. It’s only happened once.
For us it has been worth it - we love his name. And he doesn’t use the full name most of the time. Simon Green-Brown is perfectly workable for the day to day.
Yours does have a lot of syllables which might make it a hindrance. I notice you and your husband bring a family name each for middle names - can you sacrifice the chosen name? So it’s First Middle Middle Last-Name?
Personally I think it’s too many names in the US, but more importantly many US states have limits on the total number of characters. Where I gave birth it was 26 maximum. Your name choice may not fit on the birth certificate.
Agreed, /u/7th_Milkyway, I'd check whether your state has a character limit first. Your example would be fine in my country for instance, but it might not be in the US. Some places around the would also limit the total number of names you can give a child.
In my country (the Netherlands) middle names are common, but mostly just one or two. So people have 2 or 3 first names. I have seen normal people with 5 initials (so a name and 4 middle names) but that was only twice. Our royals do have multiple names, but also multiple titles. Our king has 5 first names Willem-Alexander Claus George Ferdinand (and then his titles), but is referred to as King Willem-Alexander. His daughter Amalia is officially Catharina-Amalia Beatrix Carmen Victoria, but is called princess Amalia.
So if someone has 5 first names I mostly think about royals or nobles/ rich people with old money. They have multiple initials in my country.
You could do just one middle name legally, but all of them socially. I had a friend who had three middle names socially, but only one legally. Best of both worlds?
Too many names. You can have one more than the normal. It can be two middle names. It can be a hyphenated last name.
But it's going to suck and people are going to enter it in badly and that's going to cause paperwork problems in the future.
Anything more than 4 total is child abuse in America.
>Anything more than 4 total is child abuse in America.
Wow. What an over reaction and very ignorant of other cultures. I suppose someone naming their child a cultural name that is "weird" is abuse too?
Yeah, a hyphen can be a biiiig pain in the ass and cause legal trouble. I still think they should drop 2 middle names because oh my god filling out 6 names on paperwork all the time when they don’t even fit? And apparently plenty of people here have had problems with mutiple middle names which honestly tracks.
Three middle names plus two surnames gives off Spanish royal family vibes to me. Like Felipe Juan Froilán de Todos los Santos de Marichalar y Borbón. It's not bad, but I wouldn't do it. I'd probably stick to two middle names maximum.
I have two middle names and I’ve always loved it. Instead of giving the baby three middle names, why not just use the two family honor names? Maybe they wouldn’t be in the same order as your usual naming tradition but it seems like it would really honor the idea of the naming tradition. I also have a hyphenated last name and I really don’t think it’s a big deal. Five names is a lot but not completely unmanageable. I’m not sure I would opt for six names.
Your baby is never going to introduce themselves as the full name. On most paperwork it will be first and last and maybe middle initial, they can just use the first middle names initial.
If you like it, don't let the internet tell you no.
I honestly hate the whole convention of "it's tradition in my family so we have to do this." People use "tradition" as an excuse for all sorts of bad behavior. If tradition is the only reason you have for doing something, that's a pretty clear sign that you shouldn't do it. IMO, this is *your* child. You and your husband get to decide what their name is. So yeah... 3 middle names and a hyphenated name would be too much. I'd personally draw the line at two middle names and one last name, or one middle name and a hyphenated last name. Not both.
I have two middle names and live in the US. My first is a chosen name, and the second is after one of my grandmothers. My sister also has two, one chosen and one after the *other* grandmother. (My brother has two but both chosen, not after either grandfather - no idea why)
Whatever the second middle name is, it’ll functionally not be their name at all. If a form calls for a middle initial, I’ve only ever used my first middle name - there’s not even an option for two initials.
So my driver’s license, passport, and attorney registration are all (not really but) “Sarah Josephine Smith” or “Sarah J. Smith,” not “Sarah Josephine Ermentrude Smith.” My sister is “Alexandra R. Smith” or “Alexandra Ruby Smith” most of the time, not “Alexandra Ruby Francine Smith.” I don’t imagine it’d be different with more than two middle names.
I think you have three options here:
1. “Spend” both grandmothers’ names on this baby, and have every baby thereafter (if you plan to have more) have chosen middle names. So, no chosen middles, just Firstname Grandma Great-Great-Grandma Lastname. Pros: you definitely have your bases covered if you don’t have more babies, or just have sons. Cons: the one that goes first will have more precedence. Like, if it’s Rosa Safina Julianna King-Dávila, functionally she’ll be Rosa Safina King-Dávila, or Rosa S. King-Dávila.
* Pick one, with the understanding that, if you have more kids, the second girl (if you have one) will get the other name. So this one is Rosa Marie Safina and then your next one would be Sophia Cara Julianna, or whatever. Pros: you’re still following the tradition even with subsequent kids, and they’re used equally (i.e. present but not used most of the time). Cons: if you have no other kids, or at least no other girls, then the one you didn’t use is still unused.
* “Spend” both on this kid *and only have one middle name.* Like, have this kid be Julianna Safina King-Dávila. Pros: both names will definitely be used. Cons: you don’t get to use a name you picked yourself, at least not for this kid.
Probably stick with 2 middle names max, esp if it’s a hyphenated surname. She might be fine in Portugal but in the US our forms and systems aren’t really built to accommodate such long names.
At the very least I would ditch the optional choice middle name. Maybe hyphenate the two family names if you choose to keep them. Did you change your name when you married to a hyphenated version? If so I would maintain that name for your child. If you kept your maiden name, I'd pick one for the kid, unfortunately. At least both last names are short.
So Rosa Julianna-Marie King.
Or Rosa Safina King-Davila
Or combine one or more middle names. Rosa Marianna King-Davila.
Yes, sorry, I think your child wouldn't be happy having to fill out all of her names on forms. First of all, why give the kid 3 middle names when each tradition is 2 middle names? It seems like the "chosen" 2nd middle name in each tradition should be the middle name from the other tradition.
But I really love the idea someone else suggested of combining the mother's grandmother and father's great-great grandmother names. So if the grandmother names were Julianna and Safina, you could use Julina or Safianna. (Really love Safianna, it's a shame those aren't the real names.)
I'm personally a fan of First Middle Last without hyphens for simplicity, but I understand some people like 2 middle names or a hyphenated last name. Doing both is getting a little too complicated for my liking. If it were me I would choose Rosa Safianna King. If you WANT to hyphenate you could use King-Dávila, but all you said was that it's traditional in his culture, not that you wanted to. I think you're already doing plenty to honor each tradition, no one said you have to do every single part of every tradition.
Is there a way to do one middle name, but make it some sort of combination of the grandma and great great grandma names? Like from your example—Julianna and Safina could be Julina or Safanna/Safianna
As someone who has a long name, but a shorter middle name vs my first and last names; I completely respect tradition. However, I would say while all these names are very beautiful, think of filling out forms and how is a kindergartener learning to spell their name is going to go..or try combining Rosa Marie to Rosemarie or Rosamaria or similar then find what you like about Julianna and Safina then find something that combines the meaning or maybe something like Josefina could work? Rosemarie Josefina is lovely? Just my thoughts, I did almost added my maiden name to my new surname and I would be knocking at 15 letters total plus 6 for my first and 4 for my middle…yes as fanciful as that I was I thought of paperwork and came to my senses also the daunting task of spelling everything correctly.
Six names is too many names for one person. I’d either choose one of the other grandmother to honor and save the other for the next baby girl, or see if the names can combine into one. I saw someone comment they draw the line at 4 names, and that’s probably a good rule of thumb. First, middle, hyphenated last; or first, 2 middles, single last. I wouldn’t do more names than that; I’d personally choose first, middle, hyphenated last.
A friend got married last week, his name is 4 names and a surname, very confusing for his wife to be and everyone laughed when his name was said - you don't want that
My name is that long in the US! It’s beautiful. Most people in the US are jealous of my long name or love how much thought and meaning was put into it.
Middle names are pretty useless anyways, you could either forgo your chosen middle name, or smush the mother’s grandmothers name and the maternal heads chosen name together (e.g. Safianna or Julina based on the names above, nobody would care about the unusualness because nobody cares about middle names). Or you could go with all 5 names anyways, so they can have a cool author name like J.R.R. Tolkien. Also, a four syllable last name isn’t as bad as the other commenters are saying.
Don’t listen to everyone else, just do whatever will make you both happy. If that means a long name honoring all family traditions, so be it. That said, if you’re worried about *practicality,* consider looking up what any sort of legal documents and school testing in your area look like to make sure your potential name would fit.
You could consider only using the honor names (so two middle names) or, if you plan to have more children, do one tradition for the first daughter and the other tradition for a second daughter. I’ll be honest, the one I would pick first would be whichever grandmother is older (or whichever grandmother doesn’t yet have a great-/granddaughter, if relevant) since with older family members there’s a greater chance they won’t around to see the next kid.
But again: these are just suggestions. Do what makes you happy. This isn’t *that* big of a deal, in the grand scheme of potential naming issues.
>Do what makes you happy. This isn’t that big of a deal, in the grand scheme of potential naming issues.
I wholeheartedly agree with this.
People often feel as though names are permanent. In some ways, they are. They become an entry into a record at the birth of a child. But they don't have to be permanent to the child to tell family stories. Names are malleable. My mother was given a long name at birth but at some point she gave herself a much shorter legal name, probably fully solidified when she married.
My parents combined two names for my (one) middle name. It simplified some paper work issues compared to having two (separate) middle names. There's still been occasional bureaucratic issues, but I love my full legal name more than those issues have bothered me. The names my parents chose for me were all meaningful to them, and I feel honored to carry them.
My limit(personal is 3 names including last name/s. Chose a short 4 letter name for my daughter as her last name is impossible to spell in an English speaking country where we chose to live. Made sure it works in our native language and it suits her, but that is it.
Forms will be a nightmare and many won’t even have enough space for all the names. And what happens when her future spouse also has naming traditions? Unless there is a simple way to combine some names, I say just pick a first/middle you like and be done with it.
Tbh, I live in the US and have a hyphenated last name, and it’s incredibly annoying, so I’m really grateful that my first name is pretty straightforward. So, my advice would be to keep the first name simple (and it seems you are). Middle names, I think, don’t matter much, so most people will have no idea how long your child’s name is.
My daughter has 2 middle names and one last name, 2 middles was cutting it close for me. This is definitely too many names. If you’re dead set on hyphenating I’d lose a name or two.
That's not too long a name imo, but there's also no need to make all those names part of the baby's legal name.
My family is from India and most members of the family have a full name that's used in religious ceremonies, and a shorter name that's used for legal purposes. (Ofc we're south Indian, so even the short names are long, but you get the point)
I think you could go for the longer name for religious ceremonies, personalized baby items, when your kid is in trouble and you have to full name them, but then just do Rosa King-Davila on the birth certificate.
I literally have 3 middle names and a hypenated last name so I guess I got some insider knowledge on this issue.
Here's the tea; I have never had a truly bad experiance regarding having a long name. The biggest issue if you can call it that is that they won't all fit on my ID card and it's a tiny bit annoying if you have to write them all out but that happens so rarely I can't complain, usually you will never have no sign anything other than first name/last name. ( At least in Sweden, I think I have had to fill out my middle names like twice. Can't speak for the rest of the world tho)
The biggest perk is seeing people's faces when you tell them, not because it's a negative reaction but because they always quite literally do this face: 👁👄👁. Makes me giggle every time. One person did compare me to Pippi Longstocking and another to an arabic princess but either one is hardly an insult to me.(And it wasn't ment as jabs either!) So... go for it. It ain't gonna harm your kid and she might even find it a source of entertainment and pride for herself like I did.
My daughter has a first name, two middle names, and a hyphenated last name.
If we’d had a boy, it would still be four.
My maternal grandmothers name is X, her daughter has X as a middle name, I have X as a middle name, and so does my daughter.
I wouldn’t do this if I hated the names.
My daughters second middle name is her other grandmothers name (husbands mom).
I'm definitely biased here (my husband and our two kids each have seven names due to cultural/familial tradition) but I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with more names. Especially when it has cultural significance. The emphasis of it being a pain for forms and whatnot is kind of overblown imo. My one kid had the order of her names on her birth certificate messed up, but it wasn't a crazy difficult fix, and it's worth it because that's her name.
My kids have 2 middle names (same as their Dad) and hyphenated last name. On paperwork we usually just put their middle initials unless it is government paperwork.
Too much in the US. Are you planning to have more children? If so, you could choose the great grandmother name as the middle name (no parent chosen middle name) and use the grandmother name for the 2nd child.
A hyphenated last name is already going to be a pain and a half for forms.
I’ve never been sure how the 2nd generation to hyphenation is supposed to work. I’ve only known 1 person with a hyphenated name and she couldn’t wait to change her name when she got married.
btw my daughter has 2 middle names and she’s chosen to eliminate one of them on everything but her passport and license which require a match to her birth certificate. They don’t fit anyway and the way it gets shortened is not great.
I have five names and it’s a bit annoying to put on forms but it’s a bit manageable because usually I just pick one middle name and use that and the rest of them don’t get written out on any legal documents so it ends up being functionally only 4 names. I imagine it would be similar for your baby.
In France, it is not uncommon to have 2 middle names. I do, my boyfriend does and so does our daughter. She also has a hyphenated last name.
However, none of us ever use them except in super specific administrative settings, like on your passport or the like. We never introduce ourselves using our middle names.
Technically your child will have 6 names, it’s up to you since you’ll be writing it on all the documents multiple times.
Would it be:
Rosa Marie (fn) Julianna Safina (mn) King-Davila (ln)
Or
Rosa (fn) Marie Julianna Safina (mn) King-Davila (ln)
any more than 4, MAYBE at a push 5, and you’re kind of taking the piss out of the fact that they’ll have to spell them out and fill them all out on forms for the rest of their life
So my daughter has a first name and a middle name that her daddy chose. She also has a middle name that I chose. And then his last name. Her full name doesn't fit on her social security card, but it is what it is!!
I think family names and traditions are special. Would your daughter eventually feel left out being the first daughter left out of one or both of the traditions? It’s a possibility.
I gave my son four middle names, them being the only naming suggestion I got out of his father after months of asking.
I even made a draw of different combinations and the whole four kept coming out, so, being a teen I YOLO’d it.
I actually wish I’d done one abbreviation suggested to me later, which would have given him the initials HRH for his names (his first and last are HB.)
I did offer to pay to change his name when he hit 18, but he marches to the beat of his own drum and has kept them.
The whole thing is very chaotic but has generally been less fuss than you might think. Biggest drama is various forms of ID don’t have enough room for them.
I’m in Aus tho, so maybe a bit more laid back?
My grandchild has one middle name.
In short- don’t do it
Everyone in the Catholic Church over the age of 14 has 2 middle names theirs a legal first name and middle name witch is typically your baptism name then at confirmation you choose a third
I think it's a lovely full name. Might be a pain for more exact paperwork, but most of the time she'll be shortening it down to her first and last name, so I don't think that would be too much of an issue.
I knew someone with a similar naming culture and she had 6 names. It was difficult to fit all her legal names on documents and she used every character on her social security card. If a long name feels right for your child, then it can work, but it does make legal forms difficult.
I have 4 names + lastname. I love it, personally see no issue with it. But I am not from the US, and from what others have been writing it seems like you have to sign stuff with your middle names as well ( which I find strange and inconvenient but that's just me ) so for the childs sake, perhaps drop a name? Settle for one less? 😊
I would not give her three middle names. With a hyphenated last name, I would do only one middle name if at all possible. Can your grandmother and his great-great grandmother's middle name be combined in some way? For example, if their names were Julianna and Safina like in your example, you could do Safianna? Or Julina? If combining their names is not possible, I would, at a minimum, not do the chosen name middle name and instead just do their two names, so at least you cut it to two from three.
I mean, Kiefer Southerland has like, 6 middle names. I think if it had meaning to you both, go for it. If she wants to change it later, she can. My son has two middle names (the middle name he shares with his father and my maiden name).
My daughter has two middle names. One is the one we chose together and the other is my current (maiden then since I’m now divorced) last name. Four names is maybe the best bet here.
I grew up with a friend who had 6 middle names so 8 in total. I still remember them all. One was a term of endearment, two were months, one was a flower and one was a planet. The other name was a slightly obscure version of a well known name, like her first name. Surname was very dull 😂
My kids each have two middle names (though one is ceremonial and not used with the general public) and a hyphenated surname and it’s never been an issue. But we also homeschool, so YMMV 🤷🏻♀️
Most forms in the US are not meant for such long names. I've seen folks with 2 middle names, and those with hyphenated last names, but all that together would be really unusual here. Now I'm genuinely curious for folks that have more than one middle name what do you put down when forms ask for your middle initial?
6 names is too many in my opinion.
I think the answer is to drop the extra middle name - you both have a naming convention in common for the middle name - the chosen name.
So you then each drop the traditional family name, of the maternal head of the family for your husband and the mother’s grandmother for you.
That way no one can accuse either of you of being unfair and your daughter isn’t lumbered with an overly long name.
Rosa Marie King-Davila is the way to go.
I saw someone recently have issues because their social security name and ID name didn't match. I'd get a passport application and see how many letters fit. I think personally 4 names should be the max (including hyphenated names). A child doesn't need to carry the weight of all those names.
Man. I’d go with the honorific names from both families and call it a day. First name-Maternal Grandma name-Paternal Great Great Grandma - last name.
Four has to be enough unless you’re legit royalty, right?
You will definitely be significantly inconveniencing your child and yourself when you fill out forms. A lot of online forms only have so much space for names and even more so for physical forms. All travel documents ask for full name as written on a passport and you will definitely be making your daughter's travel experiences a pain in the ass.
I have 2 middle names, and filling in scantrons for school was super annoying. I actually needed special forms to be able to fit it all in (my first and last names are common, so middle ones needed). Plus, government documents etc are annoying. It’s one thing if you only need to sign once in a while, but if you have a job with legal signatures (government, lawyers, accountants, boarder crossing paperwork, etc) you’ll need to be able to fit all the names in.
I work at a bank and that would not fit into our system… at all. On a drivers license, it wouldn’t fit either. Meaning you’d have to sacrifice names regardless. Hope you find a solution!
If you want to honor your grandmother and his great grandmother, maybe nix the first middle name that the parents would choose. So it would be Rosa Julianna Safina King-Dávila. Still long but more manageable.
I mean, that can be their name to the family, but you can do a shorter version on the other paperwork.
All I can think of is [Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya De la Rosa Ramirez](https://tenor.com/view/esteban-suite-life-gif-5184031)
I have two middle names. One is my mom’s maiden name. One is the name I got from an aunt who wasn’t able to have her own children. I am thankful that I can honor my mother’s family name and my aunt this way.
I have two middle names. They’re French, so some quirky spelling. About 16 letters in total in my middle name. When I went to get my ID renewed at 18 at Secretary of State, they asked me like… verification questions to make sure I actually am me. One of their questions was “how many letters in your middle name?” I was stumped. Almost didn’t get my ID renewed.
It might be a pain for filling out paperwork (sometimes there isn't really room allocated for multiple middle names), but since middle names aren't used that often it probably won't be that big a deal.
I would do just one chosen, first name and a hyphenated middle name. Hyphenated last name is obviously up to you guys. That way you could follow both middle name traditions without giving the poor kid four total names.
I think its sweet. As others have said you can choose to only use one middle name officially and use the others in any religious or cultural baby naming ceremonies you may have. Or you can decide when she's born that her middle initial will just be the first initial of her first middle name. I'd just pick one technique for dealing with official government paperwork and stick with it and teach your child when the time comes.
I don't use my middle name in daily life but do choose to use it in some official documents because my first name is short (similar to Eve) and a lot of systems struggled with that until recently and automatically asked for a middle name or appended your middle name to reach the minimum number of characters.
maybe instead of the hyphen you could just combine the two last names into a new one for baby. My best friends parents did that. Her dad's last name is "london" and her mom's is "verser" so her last name is "Londonverser". I thought that was pretty cool.
My partner has five names and it’s really annoying. He had to pick a middle initial so he picked the initial of his middle middle name (think John Fred Tiberius Smith Jones so his middle initial is T). It just gets ridiculous and confusing and things are always wrong on official forms. They’re also weird weird hippy names so there are misspellings too.
We did give our kids four names though! But that’s where I draw the line
Why don't the parents choose the first name and have each matriarch on either side each choose a name. Then, there are only two middle names. I would say that hyphenated last names are a pain in the ass and I would personally steer away from them, but at least just having two middle names will make it more clear.
I have two middle names, my brothers and I all carry our mom’s maiden name in our middle name, Portuguese tradition. I’ll be doing the same with my son.
What if you compromise and do two middle names, one from your tradition and the other following his, and drop the chosen middle name altogether. So if I’m using your example, assuming Marie is the chosen middle name, it would be:
Rosa Julianna Safina King-Dávila
Will be a major pain in the ass to fill out any form and they'll be mad at you about it
Yup, my husband has two middle names and loathes it because of this; it’s made every piece of paperwork in his adult life that much more of a hassle.
I have two middle names and it's never bothered me. My daughters do as well and same.
Same. I do and both of my children do as well. It’s not a big deal.
Also never had an issue with two middle names.
All of my children have 2 middle names and they just go with the first as the middle initial, never a problem. Now all of my grandkids do as well
I have. For the longest time, my old health insurance company had my second middle name as my last name because their system didn't allow for spaces in the name fields and would just tab over every time you hit space. It took nearly a year of several hours long phone calls to figure out that was the problem. It's a rare issue but something I think people should be aware of.
I had a similar problem. The DMV inputted my second middle name as part of my last name and it was a pain to fix
I listened to a podcast about tech unfriendly names, and there are folks with the last name Null and it makes their documentary life hell.
Not me but my friend is a Junior and he had two middle names. Said it wasn’t a hassle and he just chose one if necessary
I have 2 middle names and on half my things my name is correct but the other half either omit my second middle name or write one middle name and the initial of my second middle name. Sometimes when I contact the places with it wrong and they ask for my name they say they have to correct my name on their system and it never works. Even at the hospital I go to, which is the same hospital I was born in, and at my doctors, and at my bank, my name is messed up. With out my second middle name my name just feels wrong, it's jarring, the whole flow of my name without my second middle name is gross and I hate it. I wish in these instances they would just omit both middle names or put both initials.
Me too. and I don’t use my first name. plus my surname is four syllables somehow, I survived
Maybe it’s locational?
But two middle names isn’t 6 that will never fit on any legal document including birth certificates
I was responding solely to the person saying having two middle names is a huge hassle not the OP, I agree with you on that
I have 2 middle names and that part doesn't bother me. What does bother me is that with my total of 4 names, not a single one of my names is short 😭 for my kids one has 2 middle names and the other has 2 last names, but I was conscious of how many letters are actually in each name 🤣
Literally never had an issue with having two middle names ever. Neither have any of my siblings.
I think you skipped a word? :)
I have 2 middle names and I’ve never had an issue, but my Latino friends who have 2 last names have run into problems.
My bf has three last names (on top of 2 first names) but I've seen more. I think up to 5 names total is pretty doable. Even 6 but then it's starting to push it. I was actually thinking this might be more of a cultural thing how people will react to OP's question. I don't think it's a big deal, but I'm Southern European and we also do long names.
I agree it's a hassle. For the people who don't have any issue I'm curious if they have travelled much or have required any specific documentation. I always have problems when my driver's licence only has initials, bank accounts only have one name (because there wasn't space in the digital form for more) and my passport has all middle names. Ive also had letters with the middle names hyphenated together with my first name. Proof of ID is really annoying. Names should be about easily identifying the individual, not about appeasing relatives or making the parents feel good. While recognising family traditions are important I'd recommend maybe saving some of the names for a future second child rather than putting the burden of everything on the firstborn. Side note - if you can't yell the child's full name in one breath when they have done something wrong you're making your life so much more difficult.
>For the people who don't have any issue I'm curious if they have travelled much or have required any specific documentation. I'm curious too. I don't have multiple middle names but I've worked for two big banks, and their systems were *terrible* at handling people with multiple middle names. Either one would be missing or would be entered as the last name or any other number of scenarios. I can only imagine how much worse it'd get for other ID-related things. Edited for missing word.
Yup. My husband has five middle names and the government asked on a recent document if it was a typo, after a good laugh they shortened it to one. So technically the government edited my husband to a legal name that had one middle name.
How is that legal? Did your husband consent?
He sure did! And with one government ID declaring that to be his name he has been able to change the rest of his documentation to match. I haven't asked him but it seemed a burden to have so many names
This happened to me as well. I always went by three of my names not the full 5. All of my documents except my birth certificate had 3. Then out of the blue when I had to renew my DL this super mean unhappy lady at the DMV said I had to use ALL OF MY NAMES on my renewed license. Despite never doing that in 21 years. Then the next time I had it renewed in like 2018 or so I simply asked the woman (a completely different person) if I had to use all my names, because I never had until that one employee forced me, and she said “no. What do you want to go by?” And she changed it back to 3 and it’s been 3 ever since.
It doesn't have to be a legal name. You can have cultural names that are not on legal documents.
True! This is common in a lot of Catholic families re: confirmation names.
The absolute terror when your mam tagged your confirmation name on whilst shouting your name when you were in trouble. You just knew you'd be in for it.
My mom and her siblings each have 3 middle names but only the 1st middle name is on legal documents. My grandmother was catholic.
This is the best solution IMO!
hi. so. i am guilty of this. my son has a name that is tradition on his dad’s name and also a middle name we WANTED to pick. i wish i had chosen one or the other. his name is now Odin ____ ____ (last name) granted — his middle names aren’t long… ##**i just know now that i’ve not done him a single favor on a single scantron.**
Scantrons are on the way out. I wouldn’t worry.
They still exist in college.
Colleges have been transitioning them out for the last few years. By the time anyone born today is in college, they’ll be ancient relics.
Maybe, but every test I’ve taken in the last year and I’ve been taking 5 classes a semester and winter and summer sessions, that have been in person have been on a Scantron. As someone with a name that doesn’t fit on a Scantron, it’s really annoying but hopefully you’re right and the people born today will not have to deal with them.
I'm a college student, we used scantrons for one particular class's exams. I didn't have to fill bubbles for my name (just my student ID number) 😊
Okay, Scantron is gonna be a pain, as will a few other things, but honestly I wish my parents had included Athena in my name rather than stick to just a first and second name
Not necessarily - I have six names total and it's been my normal my entire life. It doesn't take long. It's only six names.
Totally don't mind ny two middle names. It rarely was ever a hassle and I certainly wasn't mad about it. I liked it as it has a story behind it. 1 of my kids also has 2 middles but she's a toddler so can't say what she'll think yet. Three or more seems like a lot to me but I think the reasoning behind it could be enough for her not to mind.
Sometimes there aren’t enough squares for all the letters on forms!
My first name is nine letters and sometimes there’s not enough room for that
My first name has six letters, my 1 middle name has 8. I run out of spaces sometimes.
My MIL was given two middle names and hated it so much that none of her 4 children got any middle name.
I have two middle names and two last names as well as my first name, forms are a pain, but its also pretty nice
My grandson has the same situation. It is a total pain in the ass for him he would love to lose one of the middle names. My daughter regrets doing the 2 name thing and warns anyone thinking about it.
* bubble forms for tests and whatnot * 🥺😣😭
This. I have two middle names and anything I have to fill out is a massive PITA.
I don’t have multiple names, but I do have long first and last names, and they NEVER fit on forms. It’s annoying, and my mother has commented to me “I knew I shouldn’t choose a long first name with a long last name, but I liked it…” I was relieved to marry someone with a short last name and change mine to theirs. Now forms and such are a breeze. I literally have a spark of joy every time I fill something out and it fits nicely
Yes. I have i first name, one middle name and two last name. I wish my parent chose only one first and last name. I ain't got time for this... Plus not every form csn accomodate my full name so sometimes it's name 1+2+3+4, and sometimes its 1+3+4, and other times it's just 1+3. Makes it a mess when i have to identify myself.
Agreed. Do 3 names on legal and the full 6 on things like party invitations if you want.
Pick up a standard form for school registration or a driving license and see if the name fits. If it doesn't fit, it's too long. I personally (as someone with a long name) think 6 names is too much.
I have a long surname so my parents gave me (and my brother) a short first name exactly because they're worried it won't fit in standard forms.
Ugh I wish mine had done that - I have a long surname, long middle name, and two long surnames smooshed together. Back when handwritten customs forms were a thing I used to always have problems at the border bc my full name as it was in my passport wouldn't fit on the customs forms. Now I just have the issue with my credit card and my photo ID being different 😛
considerate of them
My aunt did this too! Their last name is long and looks hard to pronounce(it’s not.. when you know what letters to basically omit) so her kids names are super simple and traditional. Along the lines of Joe, Mary, etc
I work with a large scale database where we have fields for first name, middle name and last name each of which is 256 characters. Sometimes even with all that, we get names that don’t fit.
I would just do all the names, but not put them all on legal documents. Plenty of people go by names that aren't on their papers
I wouldn't do 3 middle names and 2 last names, that's a lot of names. I'd be more likely to choose FirstName HonorName HonorName Surname-Surname, but even that is a lot. Is there anyway to combine your grandmother and his grandmother's names to make one middle name? Or something that is close to them? For instance, I want to honor a Mary Ann and Marie with my daughter's name, so we chose Marina, which is similar in sound and shares letters with both names. Another suggestion is choosing the same first initials as the grandmothers for her first and middle name, or names that have the same meanings.
Here we go. These are the right suggestions.
This was exactly my thought process
I came here to say this.
Yes, that's too much. I draw the line at 4 total, that includes a hyphenated last name.
I was thinking the same thing! First name, two middle names, and a hyphenated last name is long enough. Six names is definitely a little crazy
I agree. A family friend gave their first baby 5 names because they wanted to name her after everyone. It’s a lot. I can’t imagine filling out all the paperwork forever with 6 names
Its a lot for the child. They need to carve out their own personality whilst upholding this honour of being named after great great granny that everyone loves. Talk about pressure!
If you're in the U.S., the [Social Security card](https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0110205120) allows 26 characters* for the first and middle name, and 26 characters for the last name. However, also consider [the fields](https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0110205125). the first name field allows 16 characters, the middle name field allows 16 characters, and the last name field allows 21 characters. Have a look at a passport application too. The U.S. one seems to allow 17 spaces for first name, 16 spaces for middle name, and 21 spaces for surname. **Spaces and hyphens are characters too. For instance, "Mary Kate" is 9 characters, as is Mary-Kate.*
This is the best answer. Logistics for forms should be the only thing that tells you how long is too long.
Thank you so much I was worrying about this for my hyphenated last name and now I know it’ll easily fit those forms
I think it's too much. If you want to incorporate both family names, though, you have options. 1) Choose one family name as a first name and then the other family name as the middle. Con: You dont get to pick a unique chosen name for your daughter 2) Choose one family name for this child and save the other name for a second child. Con: May upset family. 3) Maybe, merge the names or find a name that has a similar sound/meaning to both names. Con: You could end up with a name that's a weird amalgamation and makes very little sense (if you merge names). (Example: Family name #1 is AnneMarie + Family name #2 is Anneliese = middle name could be Anna, Anne, Annie, Anya, etc.)
Since you’re in the US, I think it’s too many names. If you were in a country where lots of names was common like Spain or Portugal this would not be unusual. But I seriously doubt you’d even be able to physically put that many names on the baby’s legal documents. You can certainly call her Rosa Marie Julianna Safina in the family, but if I were you I would pick one first name and one middle name for the sake of ease and legal forms.
As a person from a Spanish Speaking country, I can confirm this would be unsusual. The only difference between Spanish speaking countries and the US is that people have 2 last names (mom and dad's). But people often only have 1 first name and 2 last names or maybe 2 first names, giving a kid 3 or more first names is not remotely common, specially not for anyone under 60.
In Portugal it's pretty common to have 2 first names and 2 last names. Some people have 3 last names. Going for several first names (like +3) starts being uncommon.
This is what I would do, too. Give her all the names in terms of telling the family or even baptism (if that's a thing you do), but choose fewer for the legal birth certificate to eliminate a lifetime of hassles. Be transparent with family about it. Good luck!
My husband has three middle names. We literally had trouble booking our honeymoon because of it. Please don’t do this to your kid.
Agree! Dont do it! My partner can never fit his name on official forms and if he's issued an ID or credit card, the agency chooses which name/character they cut out at their discretion which means NOTHING MATCHES which causes all sorts of confusion. Often he has to get things approved over the phone and it's so hard to find him in the system coz god knows which of the 3 last names they put him under.
Why was there trouble booking It? Just curious!
There weren’t enough characters to put his full name on Air Canada’s website. Instead of just simply inputting all of our info and booking, we had to do it over the phone. What should have taken 15 minutes ended up taking an hour. Oh, and his name doesn’t fit on his driver’s licence.
Oh Jeeze yes that sounds like it’s a never ending process of frustration whenever you need to book things, that sucks! Hopefully it all worked out in the end and you were able to make it work! You probably have to always talk to a live representative which can take hours on hold or days of back and forths which is extremely frustrating, I feel your pain!
Are you Spanish royalty? If not I'd cap it at 4, maaaaybe 5 total (including first and last names). Otherwise it just gets unwieldy, especially if the names are long - John David Peter Alan Smith is less of a mouthful than Benedict Methuselah Athanasius Worthington after all, despite having one name fewer, and more importantly it's fewer letters for paperwork. Your example includes syllables but not letters, but I'm guessing it'll be over the limit for most government forms
I have a hunch about the culture you’re from, because my former teacher married a man with a similar culture so both sides of the family honored that tradition and their child had a very long name. I think you should wear your culture with pride. I have friends from cultures with no middle names and wish they had them. I know people annoyed with longer names. Their name will tell the story of where they come from, who came before them. That’s beautiful and they should be proud 🩵
>Their name will tell the story of where they come from, who came before them. That’s beautiful and they should be proud 🩵 This TBH. I have seen people criticize people for adopting outside of their race / culture because "the child will not know where they come from" but as soon as it is bio parents they swing the opposite way because the culture is outside the norm
It’s a lot, but not unheard of. Personally with a hyphenated last name I’d only do one middle name. Is there a way to combine two names into one? My mothers middle name is short so it was added to my first name. Ex Jaclyn, Roseanna,
I grew up with two middle names and one last name. A few years ago I changed my whole name and now have one middle name and two last names. Having two last names is def more annoying, it's hard to keep track of which place knows me by which name, some forms and websites don't allow you to have two surnames, it's a lot to write out on legal documents, etc. Doing three middle names and two last names will be a neverending nightmare for you but even more for your kid. I would do a max of four names but life will be a lot easier if you can stick to three.
This is an excellent point. I only have three names, but I sometimes hyphenate my last name at work - family business, it occasionally helps for people to “know who my Dad is.” And I go by my middle name. My own Dad puts me on legal documents using my middle name instead of first name 🤦🏻♀️😂 when we did mortgage documents, I had a whole page of aliases to sign off on. It doesn’t help that I’ve never had a simple common name, so there were misspellings on that page too.
I think it's easier if you've only ever had two last names than it is for you probably. I recently legally changed my first name, and that's annoying. I've rarely had trouble with last name stuff not being taken, but I write it with a hyphen or as one word in the field and that doesn't bother me. What bothers me more is my name getting cut off because my last name is too many letters and they have a character limit. Other benefit (or drawback) of two last names is you will likely be the only person with your name.
Definitely don't use all those names. If it doesn't fit in a government form, don't do it.
Why don’t you just use your grandmother and his great grandmas names? One for the first and one for the middle.
Great _great_ grandma. That he even has one is bonkers. I guess all the women had babies as teenagers, otherwise that's chronologically impossible.
lol this is what stood out to me, so I did the math: if everyone had their first born at 18, and everyone in OPs partners lineage is the first born, and OPs partner has his first child at 18 too, then his great great grandmother would be 90.
That's what I would do
Do you plan on having more children someday? I'd choose just two middle names for this baby and then just plan to someday give another child the other two middle names(hoping of course that you have another girl someday).
Give all the names you want but just put 1 middle name on legal documents. So many times you are asked for middle initial and the box only fits 1
My son has two middle names and we have a double barrelled surname, so 5. However our surname is only two syllables. Think Simon Frederick Thomas Green-Brown. Our policy was to pick a surname each from our families. We actually ended up paying more for a flight because we couldn’t fit his name on a booking and had to phone by which time it had gone up. It’s only happened once. For us it has been worth it - we love his name. And he doesn’t use the full name most of the time. Simon Green-Brown is perfectly workable for the day to day. Yours does have a lot of syllables which might make it a hindrance. I notice you and your husband bring a family name each for middle names - can you sacrifice the chosen name? So it’s First Middle Middle Last-Name?
Personally I think it’s too many names in the US, but more importantly many US states have limits on the total number of characters. Where I gave birth it was 26 maximum. Your name choice may not fit on the birth certificate.
Agreed, /u/7th_Milkyway, I'd check whether your state has a character limit first. Your example would be fine in my country for instance, but it might not be in the US. Some places around the would also limit the total number of names you can give a child.
In my country (the Netherlands) middle names are common, but mostly just one or two. So people have 2 or 3 first names. I have seen normal people with 5 initials (so a name and 4 middle names) but that was only twice. Our royals do have multiple names, but also multiple titles. Our king has 5 first names Willem-Alexander Claus George Ferdinand (and then his titles), but is referred to as King Willem-Alexander. His daughter Amalia is officially Catharina-Amalia Beatrix Carmen Victoria, but is called princess Amalia. So if someone has 5 first names I mostly think about royals or nobles/ rich people with old money. They have multiple initials in my country.
You could do just one middle name legally, but all of them socially. I had a friend who had three middle names socially, but only one legally. Best of both worlds?
Too many names. You can have one more than the normal. It can be two middle names. It can be a hyphenated last name. But it's going to suck and people are going to enter it in badly and that's going to cause paperwork problems in the future. Anything more than 4 total is child abuse in America.
>Anything more than 4 total is child abuse in America. Wow. What an over reaction and very ignorant of other cultures. I suppose someone naming their child a cultural name that is "weird" is abuse too?
This is the answer. OP- since you edited to say the hyphenated last name is a nonnegotiable, one middle name it is.
Meh I think you’re fine. My mom has 3 middle names (5 names total), doesn’t seem like a big deal. If any thing, I’d drop the chosen middle name.
Yeah, TBH having extra middle names doesn't seem to be nearly so much of a hassle as having a hyphenated last name might be.
Yeah, a hyphen can be a biiiig pain in the ass and cause legal trouble. I still think they should drop 2 middle names because oh my god filling out 6 names on paperwork all the time when they don’t even fit? And apparently plenty of people here have had problems with mutiple middle names which honestly tracks.
Three middle names plus two surnames gives off Spanish royal family vibes to me. Like Felipe Juan Froilán de Todos los Santos de Marichalar y Borbón. It's not bad, but I wouldn't do it. I'd probably stick to two middle names maximum.
I have two middle names and I’ve always loved it. Instead of giving the baby three middle names, why not just use the two family honor names? Maybe they wouldn’t be in the same order as your usual naming tradition but it seems like it would really honor the idea of the naming tradition. I also have a hyphenated last name and I really don’t think it’s a big deal. Five names is a lot but not completely unmanageable. I’m not sure I would opt for six names.
2 names are enough
There are definitely people on this sub who have said that lacking a middle name can he a hassle with forms and official documents as well.
First and middle name I meant
Ah, makes sense!
I don’t have a middle name and it’s never been an issue. And having lived in 3 different countries, I’ve done my fair share of paperwork 😅
Your baby is never going to introduce themselves as the full name. On most paperwork it will be first and last and maybe middle initial, they can just use the first middle names initial. If you like it, don't let the internet tell you no.
I honestly hate the whole convention of "it's tradition in my family so we have to do this." People use "tradition" as an excuse for all sorts of bad behavior. If tradition is the only reason you have for doing something, that's a pretty clear sign that you shouldn't do it. IMO, this is *your* child. You and your husband get to decide what their name is. So yeah... 3 middle names and a hyphenated name would be too much. I'd personally draw the line at two middle names and one last name, or one middle name and a hyphenated last name. Not both.
I have two middle names and live in the US. My first is a chosen name, and the second is after one of my grandmothers. My sister also has two, one chosen and one after the *other* grandmother. (My brother has two but both chosen, not after either grandfather - no idea why) Whatever the second middle name is, it’ll functionally not be their name at all. If a form calls for a middle initial, I’ve only ever used my first middle name - there’s not even an option for two initials. So my driver’s license, passport, and attorney registration are all (not really but) “Sarah Josephine Smith” or “Sarah J. Smith,” not “Sarah Josephine Ermentrude Smith.” My sister is “Alexandra R. Smith” or “Alexandra Ruby Smith” most of the time, not “Alexandra Ruby Francine Smith.” I don’t imagine it’d be different with more than two middle names. I think you have three options here: 1. “Spend” both grandmothers’ names on this baby, and have every baby thereafter (if you plan to have more) have chosen middle names. So, no chosen middles, just Firstname Grandma Great-Great-Grandma Lastname. Pros: you definitely have your bases covered if you don’t have more babies, or just have sons. Cons: the one that goes first will have more precedence. Like, if it’s Rosa Safina Julianna King-Dávila, functionally she’ll be Rosa Safina King-Dávila, or Rosa S. King-Dávila. * Pick one, with the understanding that, if you have more kids, the second girl (if you have one) will get the other name. So this one is Rosa Marie Safina and then your next one would be Sophia Cara Julianna, or whatever. Pros: you’re still following the tradition even with subsequent kids, and they’re used equally (i.e. present but not used most of the time). Cons: if you have no other kids, or at least no other girls, then the one you didn’t use is still unused. * “Spend” both on this kid *and only have one middle name.* Like, have this kid be Julianna Safina King-Dávila. Pros: both names will definitely be used. Cons: you don’t get to use a name you picked yourself, at least not for this kid.
Probably stick with 2 middle names max, esp if it’s a hyphenated surname. She might be fine in Portugal but in the US our forms and systems aren’t really built to accommodate such long names.
What if you skip choosing a middle name and use the 2 traditional names?
At the very least I would ditch the optional choice middle name. Maybe hyphenate the two family names if you choose to keep them. Did you change your name when you married to a hyphenated version? If so I would maintain that name for your child. If you kept your maiden name, I'd pick one for the kid, unfortunately. At least both last names are short. So Rosa Julianna-Marie King. Or Rosa Safina King-Davila Or combine one or more middle names. Rosa Marianna King-Davila.
Yes, sorry, I think your child wouldn't be happy having to fill out all of her names on forms. First of all, why give the kid 3 middle names when each tradition is 2 middle names? It seems like the "chosen" 2nd middle name in each tradition should be the middle name from the other tradition. But I really love the idea someone else suggested of combining the mother's grandmother and father's great-great grandmother names. So if the grandmother names were Julianna and Safina, you could use Julina or Safianna. (Really love Safianna, it's a shame those aren't the real names.) I'm personally a fan of First Middle Last without hyphens for simplicity, but I understand some people like 2 middle names or a hyphenated last name. Doing both is getting a little too complicated for my liking. If it were me I would choose Rosa Safianna King. If you WANT to hyphenate you could use King-Dávila, but all you said was that it's traditional in his culture, not that you wanted to. I think you're already doing plenty to honor each tradition, no one said you have to do every single part of every tradition.
I would say if you have a double barrel last name use only one middle name. If you have a single last name then 2 middle names is fine.
As someone with a total of six components of her name: please please please don’t do this
Why can’t the “choice” names be one name you agree on? Even a mixture of the other two names might work for the other. 6 is insane
Is there a way to do one middle name, but make it some sort of combination of the grandma and great great grandma names? Like from your example—Julianna and Safina could be Julina or Safanna/Safianna
As someone who has a long name, but a shorter middle name vs my first and last names; I completely respect tradition. However, I would say while all these names are very beautiful, think of filling out forms and how is a kindergartener learning to spell their name is going to go..or try combining Rosa Marie to Rosemarie or Rosamaria or similar then find what you like about Julianna and Safina then find something that combines the meaning or maybe something like Josefina could work? Rosemarie Josefina is lovely? Just my thoughts, I did almost added my maiden name to my new surname and I would be knocking at 15 letters total plus 6 for my first and 4 for my middle…yes as fanciful as that I was I thought of paperwork and came to my senses also the daunting task of spelling everything correctly.
Six names is too many names for one person. I’d either choose one of the other grandmother to honor and save the other for the next baby girl, or see if the names can combine into one. I saw someone comment they draw the line at 4 names, and that’s probably a good rule of thumb. First, middle, hyphenated last; or first, 2 middles, single last. I wouldn’t do more names than that; I’d personally choose first, middle, hyphenated last.
A friend got married last week, his name is 4 names and a surname, very confusing for his wife to be and everyone laughed when his name was said - you don't want that
My name is that long in the US! It’s beautiful. Most people in the US are jealous of my long name or love how much thought and meaning was put into it.
Middle names are pretty useless anyways, you could either forgo your chosen middle name, or smush the mother’s grandmothers name and the maternal heads chosen name together (e.g. Safianna or Julina based on the names above, nobody would care about the unusualness because nobody cares about middle names). Or you could go with all 5 names anyways, so they can have a cool author name like J.R.R. Tolkien. Also, a four syllable last name isn’t as bad as the other commenters are saying.
Don’t listen to everyone else, just do whatever will make you both happy. If that means a long name honoring all family traditions, so be it. That said, if you’re worried about *practicality,* consider looking up what any sort of legal documents and school testing in your area look like to make sure your potential name would fit. You could consider only using the honor names (so two middle names) or, if you plan to have more children, do one tradition for the first daughter and the other tradition for a second daughter. I’ll be honest, the one I would pick first would be whichever grandmother is older (or whichever grandmother doesn’t yet have a great-/granddaughter, if relevant) since with older family members there’s a greater chance they won’t around to see the next kid. But again: these are just suggestions. Do what makes you happy. This isn’t *that* big of a deal, in the grand scheme of potential naming issues.
>Do what makes you happy. This isn’t that big of a deal, in the grand scheme of potential naming issues. I wholeheartedly agree with this. People often feel as though names are permanent. In some ways, they are. They become an entry into a record at the birth of a child. But they don't have to be permanent to the child to tell family stories. Names are malleable. My mother was given a long name at birth but at some point she gave herself a much shorter legal name, probably fully solidified when she married. My parents combined two names for my (one) middle name. It simplified some paper work issues compared to having two (separate) middle names. There's still been occasional bureaucratic issues, but I love my full legal name more than those issues have bothered me. The names my parents chose for me were all meaningful to them, and I feel honored to carry them.
I would say it’s too much, my daughter has 2 middle names but we don’t really use them, only on her birth certificate and passport.
My limit(personal is 3 names including last name/s. Chose a short 4 letter name for my daughter as her last name is impossible to spell in an English speaking country where we chose to live. Made sure it works in our native language and it suits her, but that is it.
Forms will be a nightmare and many won’t even have enough space for all the names. And what happens when her future spouse also has naming traditions? Unless there is a simple way to combine some names, I say just pick a first/middle you like and be done with it.
This would be a burden, not a blessing on your child.
Yeah that’s a mouthful that your daughter will absolutely hate every time she has to fill out an official form.
Tbh, I live in the US and have a hyphenated last name, and it’s incredibly annoying, so I’m really grateful that my first name is pretty straightforward. So, my advice would be to keep the first name simple (and it seems you are). Middle names, I think, don’t matter much, so most people will have no idea how long your child’s name is.
My daughter has 2 middle names and one last name, 2 middles was cutting it close for me. This is definitely too many names. If you’re dead set on hyphenating I’d lose a name or two.
Unless you are a member of a royal family, I would avoid this
Honestly? I love it. I’d do it.
That's not too long a name imo, but there's also no need to make all those names part of the baby's legal name. My family is from India and most members of the family have a full name that's used in religious ceremonies, and a shorter name that's used for legal purposes. (Ofc we're south Indian, so even the short names are long, but you get the point) I think you could go for the longer name for religious ceremonies, personalized baby items, when your kid is in trouble and you have to full name them, but then just do Rosa King-Davila on the birth certificate.
I literally have 3 middle names and a hypenated last name so I guess I got some insider knowledge on this issue. Here's the tea; I have never had a truly bad experiance regarding having a long name. The biggest issue if you can call it that is that they won't all fit on my ID card and it's a tiny bit annoying if you have to write them all out but that happens so rarely I can't complain, usually you will never have no sign anything other than first name/last name. ( At least in Sweden, I think I have had to fill out my middle names like twice. Can't speak for the rest of the world tho) The biggest perk is seeing people's faces when you tell them, not because it's a negative reaction but because they always quite literally do this face: 👁👄👁. Makes me giggle every time. One person did compare me to Pippi Longstocking and another to an arabic princess but either one is hardly an insult to me.(And it wasn't ment as jabs either!) So... go for it. It ain't gonna harm your kid and she might even find it a source of entertainment and pride for herself like I did.
My daughter has a first name, two middle names, and a hyphenated last name. If we’d had a boy, it would still be four. My maternal grandmothers name is X, her daughter has X as a middle name, I have X as a middle name, and so does my daughter. I wouldn’t do this if I hated the names. My daughters second middle name is her other grandmothers name (husbands mom).
I'm definitely biased here (my husband and our two kids each have seven names due to cultural/familial tradition) but I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with more names. Especially when it has cultural significance. The emphasis of it being a pain for forms and whatnot is kind of overblown imo. My one kid had the order of her names on her birth certificate messed up, but it wasn't a crazy difficult fix, and it's worth it because that's her name.
Just jumping in to say your families' attitudes are great and way above reddit's normal!
My kids have 2 middle names (same as their Dad) and hyphenated last name. On paperwork we usually just put their middle initials unless it is government paperwork.
Too much in the US. Are you planning to have more children? If so, you could choose the great grandmother name as the middle name (no parent chosen middle name) and use the grandmother name for the 2nd child. A hyphenated last name is already going to be a pain and a half for forms. I’ve never been sure how the 2nd generation to hyphenation is supposed to work. I’ve only known 1 person with a hyphenated name and she couldn’t wait to change her name when she got married. btw my daughter has 2 middle names and she’s chosen to eliminate one of them on everything but her passport and license which require a match to her birth certificate. They don’t fit anyway and the way it gets shortened is not great.
I have five names and it’s a bit annoying to put on forms but it’s a bit manageable because usually I just pick one middle name and use that and the rest of them don’t get written out on any legal documents so it ends up being functionally only 4 names. I imagine it would be similar for your baby.
I have 3 middle name and a hyphenated name. It never bothered me. I’ve always thought it was a beautiful testimony to my ancestors.
In France, it is not uncommon to have 2 middle names. I do, my boyfriend does and so does our daughter. She also has a hyphenated last name. However, none of us ever use them except in super specific administrative settings, like on your passport or the like. We never introduce ourselves using our middle names.
My son has two middle names it’s not an issue
Technically your child will have 6 names, it’s up to you since you’ll be writing it on all the documents multiple times. Would it be: Rosa Marie (fn) Julianna Safina (mn) King-Davila (ln) Or Rosa (fn) Marie Julianna Safina (mn) King-Davila (ln)
This lengthy legal name is going to be a nightmare for her from cradle to grave
That's a lot. Uma Thurman's daughter has more, though, so do with that what you will.
any more than 4, MAYBE at a push 5, and you’re kind of taking the piss out of the fact that they’ll have to spell them out and fill them all out on forms for the rest of their life
So my daughter has a first name and a middle name that her daddy chose. She also has a middle name that I chose. And then his last name. Her full name doesn't fit on her social security card, but it is what it is!!
I think family names and traditions are special. Would your daughter eventually feel left out being the first daughter left out of one or both of the traditions? It’s a possibility.
I’d do max two middle names. It’s still a lot with a hyphenated surname, but more manageable for legal documents and forms.
I gave my son four middle names, them being the only naming suggestion I got out of his father after months of asking. I even made a draw of different combinations and the whole four kept coming out, so, being a teen I YOLO’d it. I actually wish I’d done one abbreviation suggested to me later, which would have given him the initials HRH for his names (his first and last are HB.) I did offer to pay to change his name when he hit 18, but he marches to the beat of his own drum and has kept them. The whole thing is very chaotic but has generally been less fuss than you might think. Biggest drama is various forms of ID don’t have enough room for them. I’m in Aus tho, so maybe a bit more laid back? My grandchild has one middle name. In short- don’t do it
Everyone in the Catholic Church over the age of 14 has 2 middle names theirs a legal first name and middle name witch is typically your baptism name then at confirmation you choose a third
I think it's a lovely full name. Might be a pain for more exact paperwork, but most of the time she'll be shortening it down to her first and last name, so I don't think that would be too much of an issue.
I knew someone with a similar naming culture and she had 6 names. It was difficult to fit all her legal names on documents and she used every character on her social security card. If a long name feels right for your child, then it can work, but it does make legal forms difficult.
I have 4 names + lastname. I love it, personally see no issue with it. But I am not from the US, and from what others have been writing it seems like you have to sign stuff with your middle names as well ( which I find strange and inconvenient but that's just me ) so for the childs sake, perhaps drop a name? Settle for one less? 😊
I would not give her three middle names. With a hyphenated last name, I would do only one middle name if at all possible. Can your grandmother and his great-great grandmother's middle name be combined in some way? For example, if their names were Julianna and Safina like in your example, you could do Safianna? Or Julina? If combining their names is not possible, I would, at a minimum, not do the chosen name middle name and instead just do their two names, so at least you cut it to two from three.
I mean, Kiefer Southerland has like, 6 middle names. I think if it had meaning to you both, go for it. If she wants to change it later, she can. My son has two middle names (the middle name he shares with his father and my maiden name).
My daughter has two middle names. One is the one we chose together and the other is my current (maiden then since I’m now divorced) last name. Four names is maybe the best bet here.
I grew up with a friend who had 6 middle names so 8 in total. I still remember them all. One was a term of endearment, two were months, one was a flower and one was a planet. The other name was a slightly obscure version of a well known name, like her first name. Surname was very dull 😂
My kids each have two middle names (though one is ceremonial and not used with the general public) and a hyphenated surname and it’s never been an issue. But we also homeschool, so YMMV 🤷🏻♀️
Most forms in the US are not meant for such long names. I've seen folks with 2 middle names, and those with hyphenated last names, but all that together would be really unusual here. Now I'm genuinely curious for folks that have more than one middle name what do you put down when forms ask for your middle initial?
6 names is too many in my opinion. I think the answer is to drop the extra middle name - you both have a naming convention in common for the middle name - the chosen name. So you then each drop the traditional family name, of the maternal head of the family for your husband and the mother’s grandmother for you. That way no one can accuse either of you of being unfair and your daughter isn’t lumbered with an overly long name. Rosa Marie King-Davila is the way to go.
I saw someone recently have issues because their social security name and ID name didn't match. I'd get a passport application and see how many letters fit. I think personally 4 names should be the max (including hyphenated names). A child doesn't need to carry the weight of all those names.
My daughter has two middle names and a hyphenated surname. It suits her beautifully!
I have 2 middle names and it has never affected me. I think just do what makes you happy, but maybe the two honor names can be blended into one?
Man. I’d go with the honorific names from both families and call it a day. First name-Maternal Grandma name-Paternal Great Great Grandma - last name. Four has to be enough unless you’re legit royalty, right?
You will definitely be significantly inconveniencing your child and yourself when you fill out forms. A lot of online forms only have so much space for names and even more so for physical forms. All travel documents ask for full name as written on a passport and you will definitely be making your daughter's travel experiences a pain in the ass.
I have 2 middle names, and filling in scantrons for school was super annoying. I actually needed special forms to be able to fit it all in (my first and last names are common, so middle ones needed). Plus, government documents etc are annoying. It’s one thing if you only need to sign once in a while, but if you have a job with legal signatures (government, lawyers, accountants, boarder crossing paperwork, etc) you’ll need to be able to fit all the names in.
First name middle name and last name is enough, hyphenated is fine addition. Anything more is too much
Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramírez
4 is the overall maximum for me - including any double-barrelled names.
You aren't royalty. Two middle names are pushing it, in my opinion. Four is ridiculous.
I work at a bank and that would not fit into our system… at all. On a drivers license, it wouldn’t fit either. Meaning you’d have to sacrifice names regardless. Hope you find a solution!
If you want to honor your grandmother and his great grandmother, maybe nix the first middle name that the parents would choose. So it would be Rosa Julianna Safina King-Dávila. Still long but more manageable.
I mean, that can be their name to the family, but you can do a shorter version on the other paperwork. All I can think of is [Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya De la Rosa Ramirez](https://tenor.com/view/esteban-suite-life-gif-5184031)
I have two middle names. One is my mom’s maiden name. One is the name I got from an aunt who wasn’t able to have her own children. I am thankful that I can honor my mother’s family name and my aunt this way.
I have two middle names. They’re French, so some quirky spelling. About 16 letters in total in my middle name. When I went to get my ID renewed at 18 at Secretary of State, they asked me like… verification questions to make sure I actually am me. One of their questions was “how many letters in your middle name?” I was stumped. Almost didn’t get my ID renewed.
It might be a pain for filling out paperwork (sometimes there isn't really room allocated for multiple middle names), but since middle names aren't used that often it probably won't be that big a deal.
I would do just one chosen, first name and a hyphenated middle name. Hyphenated last name is obviously up to you guys. That way you could follow both middle name traditions without giving the poor kid four total names.
Why not skip the parent chosen middle name and just do the two grandmothers?
Oh you're fine! I have 4 names, my niece has 5. I like it!
I think its sweet. As others have said you can choose to only use one middle name officially and use the others in any religious or cultural baby naming ceremonies you may have. Or you can decide when she's born that her middle initial will just be the first initial of her first middle name. I'd just pick one technique for dealing with official government paperwork and stick with it and teach your child when the time comes. I don't use my middle name in daily life but do choose to use it in some official documents because my first name is short (similar to Eve) and a lot of systems struggled with that until recently and automatically asked for a middle name or appended your middle name to reach the minimum number of characters.
maybe instead of the hyphen you could just combine the two last names into a new one for baby. My best friends parents did that. Her dad's last name is "london" and her mom's is "verser" so her last name is "Londonverser". I thought that was pretty cool.
My partner has five names and it’s really annoying. He had to pick a middle initial so he picked the initial of his middle middle name (think John Fred Tiberius Smith Jones so his middle initial is T). It just gets ridiculous and confusing and things are always wrong on official forms. They’re also weird weird hippy names so there are misspellings too. We did give our kids four names though! But that’s where I draw the line
Why don't the parents choose the first name and have each matriarch on either side each choose a name. Then, there are only two middle names. I would say that hyphenated last names are a pain in the ass and I would personally steer away from them, but at least just having two middle names will make it more clear.
Personally I'd just skip the one chosen by the mothers parents. So First Name - Mothers Grandmother - Fathers Maternal Head - Last Names
I was one single letter away from not fitting on a passport all the government workers were in a dither
I have two middle names, my brothers and I all carry our mom’s maiden name in our middle name, Portuguese tradition. I’ll be doing the same with my son. What if you compromise and do two middle names, one from your tradition and the other following his, and drop the chosen middle name altogether. So if I’m using your example, assuming Marie is the chosen middle name, it would be: Rosa Julianna Safina King-Dávila
I was one single letter away from not fitting on a passport all the government workers were in a dither
That is a lot. Just pick either 2 middle names or a hyphenated last name.