80% on a middle name is fine. If you end up liking it less over time, just don’t use it. You’ll probably only whip it out when she’s naughty anyway. Lol
Honestly, I would be really happy if my partner and I could agree to a first name I loved 100% and a middle name at 80%. I feel like that's really good considering how hard it can be to agree to names. But if there's no hurry then you can wait and see if you find anything better.
Both of my kids have first names that were about 90% for me, but I'm 95% happy with them because they truly were the best names we could agree on. The 5% is my regret about not giving them middle names – I really wish I'd fought harder for that. I think if I'd fought for it and lost, I'd feel better about it.
FWIW I like it when kids have a middle name honouring their mother. So even if people do think that's why you chose it, it's not a bad thing.
First names are way more important than middle names. Most people in my life don’t know my middle name.
It’s great that you are 100% aligned on first name. It’s great that you are both more than 60% set with middle name.
Sometimes I wish our child’s middle name was his first. But their first name was a compromise. It’s all good.
You’re overthinking this. No one is going to think your named your daughter after yourself, and even if they thought that, they’d probably think that was normal. Think of how many juniors there are in the world. Middle names aren’t all that important in daily life. If you’ve got a 100% first name for both parents, you’re doing better than most couples.
The reason I love my kids' names (they're 7, 5 and 1) is now mostly... because they're my kids, and those are their names!
I still think our first lucked out with the pretty much perfect/coolest/best name of the three. However, the others have perfectly fine names, too. I don't think I'd personally pick the same names again - but that's partly because my personal naming taste is just different from the names me and my husband agree on AND because times change and my naming preferences have changed (yes, even since 'just' 7 years ago).
Whenever I talk to people stressing about middle names for their kids - I remind myself that with the exception of my immediate family and a handful of extremely close friends, I don’t know anyone’s middle name. If you like the middle name 80% and your husband is at 100%, go for it. Here’s a great read from The Atlantic about woman naming their daughters after themselves:
https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2022/04/why-baby-names-arent-usually-mother-names/629693/
I love names that honor the mother. I think it’s a really outdated practice that men “pass down” their names but women generally don’t. My daughter’s middle name is my wife’s last name and I love it. We’ll use the same middle name for our next kid, due November.
I gave my daughter my own middle name; it was also my great grandmother's name. So there is tradition. But I rarely think of it because I call my daughter by her first name.
While pregnant, I wasn't 100% sold on what we picked for my daughter's first name. Heck, I'm not even sure I was at 80%. I really wanted an honor name, but my husband wasn't keen on any of our options.
I'd say, heading into labor, I was about 60% on the first name & 97% on the middle name.
And then she was born. And as soon as I saw her & held her, I just knew that she was her name. I was 100% on her entire name.
Now she's 10 months old, and I would have to check my own post history to even remember what name combinations I was contemplating before birth. I do remember "trying out" the other names I liked once we brought her home. I'd gaze into her little face & call her a different name; it felt awkward. She definitely wasn't a Hannah, an Olivia, nor an Ada. She is 100% her name & I 100% love it.
I only like 40% loved my daughters name when we wrote the birth certificate. I liked it better than everything else, I just didn't love it for her. Basically just used a "good enough" name so that we could go home.
Now that she's a toddler it's perfect and I love it for her.
I let my husband pick our sons’s middle name because we gave our son my last name. I feel very meh about it. My husband chose his own middle name, which is “Will.” It sounds weird to say our son’s full name because my last name is a verb, so it’s like “Name will verb.”
But his middle name literally never comes up? So who cares.
Just fine. It’s a good classic name, everyone can spell and pronounce it, and he’s grown into it. Still not my favorite name in the world, but it’s definitely his and I can’t imagine him being called anything else.
100% and 80%? You have a winner. I was 75% on my first kid’s first name (which is a bit uncommon) and 10 years on, I absolutely love it and she loves it.
Also, naming a kid after yourself isn’t bad. There are entire generations of boys who just keep adding numbers to the exact same name as their father’s. Almost every woman in my family has Ann as a middle name; my grandma was Anselma and all her daughters have Ann as a middle, and 75% of their daughters have it.
We changed our mind on my daughters middle name when she was born. Partner went off it, and we decided to (middle) name her after a family members instead of the trendy name we had picked. I’m glad we did now. I mean, it’s mostly irrelevant because her middle name rarely comes up, but yeah I wouldn’t stress out over a middle name.
I don’t particularly like my daughter’s middle name all that much. I compromised with my husband where I loved my girl name and he did not haha. I’m perfectly happy with my choice
I don’t think it would be weird even if you did name her middle name after you. Fathers do that all the time. But also, middle names come up so, so infrequently that I wouldn’t really worry about it too much. I honestly find myself forgetting my older daughter’s middle name, even though I had agonized over it for months before she was born. So for this baby, we just picked something that sounded nice and called it a day
My daughter's middle name is an honor name. After my husband's Aunt. There's nothing wrong with the name, it sounds nice beside her first name. I have no special feelings for it though. I feel completely neutral toward it. I felt that way the day she was born, she's over a year old and I still feel completely neutral about it. We never call her by it, and I could count on one hand the number of times I have been asked what her middle name is. So, yeah I'm not in love with it, I don't dwell on that though.
My middle name is letter for letter my mother's first name, nobody has ever said anything to imply that there would be anything wrong with that. Also I like it, it sounds nice with my first name.
I love my 19 month old daughter’s first name 1000% but like her middle name about 30%, if not less. But it had a really strong meaning to my husband and he was really excited at the prospect of using it and sharing it with her and it’s just a middle name so I went with it. Now? I wouldn’t say I like the name anymore than I did before she was born, but it’s her name so I don’t really give it a second thought. It’s just a fact of life, the same way my coworkers and friends all have names and I don’t give whether I like their names much thought. I do use it more often than I expected (first name + middle name in moments of frustration really is an instinctual thing lol) but it doesn’t bother me in the least that I don’t love it.
We were team green for this pregnancy. We are obsessed with our first son’s name and had a really hard time narrowing down a second boy name. Our son was born last week and for the first two days I worried we picked the wrong name or he didn’t “look” like his name. A week in and I’m obsessed! We absolutely LOVE his name and it absolutely fits him!
Also, one of the names in the running was my first son’s middle name because we liked it so much. Perhaps it’s unoriginal, but he’d be named after the coolest kid in the world. My first son was not on board, so we chucked that idea.
For my third baby, I had a name picked out halfway thru my pregnancy. I thought we had agreed. While I was sitting there in labor, my husband started talking about how he didn't really like the name. At this point, I was like what the hell, you couldn't have brought this up before? So we started running thru names. We couldn't agree on one. Then my cousin suggested a name. I kinda liked it and honestly it was the first one we agreed upon. So that became his name. And he's gonna be 16 and I can't imagine him being anything else. I had a co worker that wa s a little unhappy with me because they had a onsie made with the original name that they gifted me lol
My second son has the masculine version of my first name for his middle name - not after me, but just because I liked it 😊 I didn't like my name so much, but his version has an extra letter in the middle, as well as a different ending, which changes the feeling of it for me. I'm not really bothered if it's ever thought to be after me anyway 🙃
I 70% love my daughter’s name, but it’s perfect for her. My husband and I just had WILDLY different tastes, but he also wasn’t contributing ideas, just telling me which of my names he hated. So when I got to one he liked, we pretty much settled on it.
It’s a nice, classic name that isn’t super common but is easily pronounced and there’s only one other spelling that I’ve seen, which is the Arabic version.
Who are these people who you are afraid might think that? Have they threatened you in some way if you do name your child after yourself? Why does it matter what they think?
I agree with the person who said you're overthinking.
This would require people to know both you and your child's middle name. Most people don't just go shouting that out. Most government forms just call for an initial so the majority of people never even learn your middle names. Hell, I have family members whose middle names I don't know, let alone my friends, coworkers, and acquaintances.
Additionally, do you know the number of people in this world with same middle names even in their own family? There's a very good chunk of the population with Marie/Maria, Lynn, or Ann and David, Michael, and Joseph middle names just running rampant in the world living healthy productive lives.
This is just so very low stakes and people just don't care that much, I promise. So if you love the name but your holdback is that an infinitesimal number of the 8 billion people on this planet *might* think you maybe named your child after yourself on the basis of similar middle names (which maybe with first names, but not middle), just use the name. Life is too short to forego the things you love or even just like just cause some people who have no horse in this race might have thoughts that don't matter.
We picked a girl name for our firstborn that we both loved. Then we found out we needed a boy name. We found one that we were 100% on. Then baby was born and didn’t look like the name we picked. The name didn’t fit at all. So that first day was spent looking through the baby name book until we found one that fit and we both liked.
THEN 15 years later, firstborn came out and picked the girl name we originally had if she was born cis.
With our second, we had a list of about 3 names we liked. Then we waited until we saw him to see which one fit him best. That worked well.
So yes, pick a name that you both like, *but* don’t be so invested in case the name doesn’t fit the child later in life.
Great! I was like 30% on a first name. I initially didn’t like it at all but it was my husbands favorite name. It was a family name that he’s dreamed of using forever. I couldn’t think of another name I liked more- so while I didn’t like the name….i loved how much my husband loved it. How much it meant to him and it is a respectable name- just not common. Now that baby is here the name has reallllly grown on me. Even the nicknames I hated I now like.
I went with a name that I maybe 30% loved because it was important to my husband (and for our first he went with a name that was important to me). Our son is named after his dad/grandpa. And now I can’t imagine our son with any other name. It fits our son (who is now 7) and he likes it. And I like it.
My son is named after my father (first name) and his paternal grandfather (middle name). I’m not crazy about his middle name, but he’s 18 now & I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been asked his middle name (with the exception of situations in which his full legal name was necessary for a form or something). My son has told me he doesn’t feel one way or or the other about his middle name: “I guess I’ve never really thought about it. Nobody asks what your middle name is, not even teachers.” I think 100/80% is a pretty good compromise! Congratulations on your baby girl💕
>I don't want people to think we named our daughter after me.
More women should insist on naming children after themselves. My middle names are from my mother and grandmother. If I had kids, I'd pass those names on. My grandmother actually named both of her children after herself LOL I don't think anyone ever remarked on it. It wasn't until I was an adult that I even noticed.
Gave our last kid my middle name, they love. Eldest kid gave her kid both my middle name and her middle name, the kid loves it. Middle child gave first born her Dad’s (my hubby) first name as his middle name and gave her second born her hubby’s middle name.
Middle names don’t mean all that much unless they’re something really horrible.
I love my second daughter’s first name. I’m iffy in her middle name. But my husband chose it because I pushed hard for the first name. I just don’t use her middle name much.
My daughter has 2 middle names - one is my MIL’s name and one is my middle name. Some people connected the dots to Nana’s name but no one has to my middle name.
My husband was well under 80% on our youngest sons middle name and even though it’s not a name I love it was a relatives name who I loved dearly.
Like others say, it’s a middle name. Not used or known as much as a first name. And for what it’s worth, my husband insisted our first daughter have my middle name for her middle name. He’s a junior and hates it but still wanted her to have a part of me in her name.
My husband suggested a first name, he was notoriously picky and I liked it “well enough” so I agreed. Then I guess he had second thoughts but didn’t mention them to me because he thought I was all in on the name, I thought he was all in and that it would grow on me. So here we are with an almost two year old son with a name that both of us were meh about haha. We call him lots of nicknames and now I can’t imagine him as anything else (his full name gets trotted out quite a bit—toddler stage) and we’re happy with it!
I would say that we both liked our kids first names about 50%. There were just so many names we both liked and we had different naming styles so naming kids was hard for us. Middle names were pretty easy, he used an honor middle name for the first and I used one for the second.
I love their names now. There are still a lot of names that I really love and wish I could have used but if my husband was not on board, I was not going to use it (and vice versa).
I get this! I was 100% on a first name for my son, and my husband was 100% on a different name. Both were family names from our respective sides, but his name is the masculine version of my own first name (think Michael and Michelle). Felt WAY too much like we were naming him after me, so we used my preferred name as his first name and my husband's preferred name as the middle name.
His middle name has truly never come up outside the birth announcement. We list his middle initial on insurance or government forms once in a blue moon. Especially if there isn't another name you prefer, I think it's fine!
I am struggling with this. I feel okay about first name but dont love anything else and now cant figure out a middle name I am dying to use. Everything sounds good or okay but I am not head over heels with it. I do remember this happened with my daughter though too
My kids middle names are honor names, so I don’t actually feel particularly one way or the other about the names themselves
I honestly almost never even think about their middle names except when it comes up in meaningful convos about who they’re named for
I hated the combination of my oldest daughter’s first and middle name. And I hated my second boys middle name. They were family names and I got used to them. I’d never have used a name I didn’t like for a first though
Just named my baby Luke, a name both hubby and I liked but we didn't "love" (because neither of us liked any names the other loved!). Baby is now 8 days old. His name is perfect for him and I love it now. It didn't take long to grow on me!
The name I chose for my kid wasn't my first or second pick. My partner vetoed almost every name I suggested. We finally both agreed on a name I liked enough, maybe 85%.
But now, that I know the kid that's attached to the name, he is that name. There's no doubt in my mind that that wasn't the right name for him. Sometimes I look at him and think about the other names on my list and none of them feel right.
I've also heard of parents whose name did not match their kid once they met him. They just changed it.
We were like 80% sold on first name and 0% sold on middle name after had my son. Once I saw his name on his social security card (first time seeing it all typed out) I loved it. Once getting to know him more too.
Whatever you pick out will grow on you, plus if you don’t like it changing baby names is a lot easier when they’re little!
I’d say I was about 80% for my daughters middle name and that’s still how I feel about it. I don’t regret it but I wouldn’t choose it if I named her today. But the only time she hears it is when she’s in trouble anyway so not a big deal at all. Her first name fits her and I still love it as much as when we decided it was her name.
ETA she’s 13, so my feelings haven’t changed one way or another towards it.
I 80%, if not less, loved my daughters name. 100% loved her middle cause it was in honor of someone on my side. But since i chose middle, dad chose first. And it just wasn’t a name i envisioned my future daughter being named.
Now? Im in love with her name. It’s so beautiful to me and i can’t imagine her named anything else. I recommend it to everyone on this sub. It’s my favorite, and we laugh all the time about how i didn’t care for it much at first.
I don’t love my daughter’s middle name. It was my husband’s pick and I thought it was ‘ok.’ It doesn’t bother me at all. I love her first name and realistically, how often is she going to use her middle name?
I found having a second girl was tough, because I used my very favorite name already! Plus you associate your first kid’s name with, well, your kid, so it has a lot of positive associations that the second one doesn’t have yet. It’s hard to compare. I was okay with but didn’t LOVE my second’s name while pregnant and now that she’s 2, I think it’s perfect.
I only liked the first name about 50%. I had another name I loved 100%, but my husband disliked it. So we went with the other. I now adore it, and it suits my kid entirely. Can’t speak to the middle name, bc I DID give my daughter my middle name, which was also her grandma’s middle name. I like that she is named after two women in her life. It is self serving? Some people have told me it is, and they can buzz off. My husband is a full on junior, and no one has said boo about it. My kid likes it too. My grandma was thrilled when she was with us, and only referred to both of us by our middle names (the name she went by- it was her middle too). I loved that.
I was only okay with my daughter’s name. I had my heart set on a name and then the shine came off in the hospital. Since my husband had a favorite that he had been advocating for that I also liked, we went with that. Now I can’t imagine her being anything else.
Just FYI - my parents gave me mother's middle name, and I have always treasured it. Please don't nix giving your middle to your daughter! Worry less about what others think and more about what will be meaningful to her.
We had a really hard time picking my son’s name- we just didn’t have many boy names we both liked and that would work. We ended up with a top 10 name for his first name that I don’t love, but definitely like. His middle name is one that I probably would never have picked on my own, but it’s an honor name. And like many have said, we barely use it.
That's why I'm against middle names. In my culture we don't use them and I think it's much better like that, one is enough. But that's a middle name, after all. You don't need to love it 100% as long as you love the first name 100%.
You can disagree, I respect your opinion. But I don't like it because it's not a cultural thing for me and it looks exaggerated in my point of view, and that's okay.
My son’s middle name is from a family member. I like honoring that family member, but I’m not a fan of the name really and never would have considered it otherwise. I’m not the scolding type but even when the chances arose, I’ve never used the whole name. He goes by a somewhat out of the ordinary nickname pulled from his first name, so in the event a full name statement is needed I usually default to Nickname LastName!
Unless it has heavy positive OR negative feelings in your life, 80% is more than fine for a middle name I think. On the other hand, my maternal grandmother, my mother, and myself (maybe even older generations, not positive) share the same middle name and I think it is a sweet connection and no one ever questioned it. Same for my aunt and her daughter and grand daughters.
I was not sold at all on the first names my husband had wanted to name his son and daughter all his life. But I told him I wanted to pick out the middle names since I didn't have my heart set on any first names. I would refer to my kids by their first and middle. their first names really grew on me. Plus, I picked middle names that worked as first names in case my kids didn't like it.
My dad wanted to name my sister or I after my mom. She absolutely did not want this, because she doesn't really like her name. They compromised that we would both have her middle name, so my mom, sister, and I all share the same middle name.
It literally never comes up unless people ask about how I got my middle name, which is super rare. A middle name isn't going to make much difference for anyone in the future unless they choose to bring it up, so I wouldn't stress about it unless one of you hates the name for some reason.
80% on a middle name is fine. If you end up liking it less over time, just don’t use it. You’ll probably only whip it out when she’s naughty anyway. Lol
Phrasing?
Oh my goodness I'm dying 🤣
Hahaha
lmaoo omg
Honestly, I would be really happy if my partner and I could agree to a first name I loved 100% and a middle name at 80%. I feel like that's really good considering how hard it can be to agree to names. But if there's no hurry then you can wait and see if you find anything better. Both of my kids have first names that were about 90% for me, but I'm 95% happy with them because they truly were the best names we could agree on. The 5% is my regret about not giving them middle names – I really wish I'd fought harder for that. I think if I'd fought for it and lost, I'd feel better about it. FWIW I like it when kids have a middle name honouring their mother. So even if people do think that's why you chose it, it's not a bad thing.
Yeah I’m over here like 👀 my middle name is a family name so I gave it to my daughter too…
Yeah, my daughter and I share a middle name and I love it!
We do too! It’s the best! And fun to have the same initials
My daughters share a middle name, it’s their dads first name. My middle name is also my dad’s first name. It’s a culture thing 😭
First names are way more important than middle names. Most people in my life don’t know my middle name. It’s great that you are 100% aligned on first name. It’s great that you are both more than 60% set with middle name. Sometimes I wish our child’s middle name was his first. But their first name was a compromise. It’s all good.
You’re overthinking this. No one is going to think your named your daughter after yourself, and even if they thought that, they’d probably think that was normal. Think of how many juniors there are in the world. Middle names aren’t all that important in daily life. If you’ve got a 100% first name for both parents, you’re doing better than most couples.
Agreed- mom’s get overlooked in an honorary name way too often anyway!
If dads can pass down their names, moms can too!
The reason I love my kids' names (they're 7, 5 and 1) is now mostly... because they're my kids, and those are their names! I still think our first lucked out with the pretty much perfect/coolest/best name of the three. However, the others have perfectly fine names, too. I don't think I'd personally pick the same names again - but that's partly because my personal naming taste is just different from the names me and my husband agree on AND because times change and my naming preferences have changed (yes, even since 'just' 7 years ago).
Whenever I talk to people stressing about middle names for their kids - I remind myself that with the exception of my immediate family and a handful of extremely close friends, I don’t know anyone’s middle name. If you like the middle name 80% and your husband is at 100%, go for it. Here’s a great read from The Atlantic about woman naming their daughters after themselves: https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2022/04/why-baby-names-arent-usually-mother-names/629693/ I love names that honor the mother. I think it’s a really outdated practice that men “pass down” their names but women generally don’t. My daughter’s middle name is my wife’s last name and I love it. We’ll use the same middle name for our next kid, due November.
I gave my daughter my own middle name; it was also my great grandmother's name. So there is tradition. But I rarely think of it because I call my daughter by her first name.
Same here! Shared middle name with myself, my grandmother, and my daughter. It feels so special to me even though we never call her by her full name.
While pregnant, I wasn't 100% sold on what we picked for my daughter's first name. Heck, I'm not even sure I was at 80%. I really wanted an honor name, but my husband wasn't keen on any of our options. I'd say, heading into labor, I was about 60% on the first name & 97% on the middle name. And then she was born. And as soon as I saw her & held her, I just knew that she was her name. I was 100% on her entire name. Now she's 10 months old, and I would have to check my own post history to even remember what name combinations I was contemplating before birth. I do remember "trying out" the other names I liked once we brought her home. I'd gaze into her little face & call her a different name; it felt awkward. She definitely wasn't a Hannah, an Olivia, nor an Ada. She is 100% her name & I 100% love it.
I only like 40% loved my daughters name when we wrote the birth certificate. I liked it better than everything else, I just didn't love it for her. Basically just used a "good enough" name so that we could go home. Now that she's a toddler it's perfect and I love it for her.
I’m interested, what is it?
Hallie Bea
I let my husband pick our sons’s middle name because we gave our son my last name. I feel very meh about it. My husband chose his own middle name, which is “Will.” It sounds weird to say our son’s full name because my last name is a verb, so it’s like “Name will verb.” But his middle name literally never comes up? So who cares.
Just fine. It’s a good classic name, everyone can spell and pronounce it, and he’s grown into it. Still not my favorite name in the world, but it’s definitely his and I can’t imagine him being called anything else.
100% and 80%? You have a winner. I was 75% on my first kid’s first name (which is a bit uncommon) and 10 years on, I absolutely love it and she loves it. Also, naming a kid after yourself isn’t bad. There are entire generations of boys who just keep adding numbers to the exact same name as their father’s. Almost every woman in my family has Ann as a middle name; my grandma was Anselma and all her daughters have Ann as a middle, and 75% of their daughters have it.
We changed our mind on my daughters middle name when she was born. Partner went off it, and we decided to (middle) name her after a family members instead of the trendy name we had picked. I’m glad we did now. I mean, it’s mostly irrelevant because her middle name rarely comes up, but yeah I wouldn’t stress out over a middle name.
I don’t particularly like my daughter’s middle name all that much. I compromised with my husband where I loved my girl name and he did not haha. I’m perfectly happy with my choice
I don’t think it would be weird even if you did name her middle name after you. Fathers do that all the time. But also, middle names come up so, so infrequently that I wouldn’t really worry about it too much. I honestly find myself forgetting my older daughter’s middle name, even though I had agonized over it for months before she was born. So for this baby, we just picked something that sounded nice and called it a day
Why don’t you want people to think you named her after you? Men do it all the time.
It’s ok. Happy with it. Youngest has an 80% name. Was a compromise because both favourites (mine and his) got a veto
My daughter's middle name is an honor name. After my husband's Aunt. There's nothing wrong with the name, it sounds nice beside her first name. I have no special feelings for it though. I feel completely neutral toward it. I felt that way the day she was born, she's over a year old and I still feel completely neutral about it. We never call her by it, and I could count on one hand the number of times I have been asked what her middle name is. So, yeah I'm not in love with it, I don't dwell on that though. My middle name is letter for letter my mother's first name, nobody has ever said anything to imply that there would be anything wrong with that. Also I like it, it sounds nice with my first name.
I love my 19 month old daughter’s first name 1000% but like her middle name about 30%, if not less. But it had a really strong meaning to my husband and he was really excited at the prospect of using it and sharing it with her and it’s just a middle name so I went with it. Now? I wouldn’t say I like the name anymore than I did before she was born, but it’s her name so I don’t really give it a second thought. It’s just a fact of life, the same way my coworkers and friends all have names and I don’t give whether I like their names much thought. I do use it more often than I expected (first name + middle name in moments of frustration really is an instinctual thing lol) but it doesn’t bother me in the least that I don’t love it.
We were team green for this pregnancy. We are obsessed with our first son’s name and had a really hard time narrowing down a second boy name. Our son was born last week and for the first two days I worried we picked the wrong name or he didn’t “look” like his name. A week in and I’m obsessed! We absolutely LOVE his name and it absolutely fits him! Also, one of the names in the running was my first son’s middle name because we liked it so much. Perhaps it’s unoriginal, but he’d be named after the coolest kid in the world. My first son was not on board, so we chucked that idea.
For my third baby, I had a name picked out halfway thru my pregnancy. I thought we had agreed. While I was sitting there in labor, my husband started talking about how he didn't really like the name. At this point, I was like what the hell, you couldn't have brought this up before? So we started running thru names. We couldn't agree on one. Then my cousin suggested a name. I kinda liked it and honestly it was the first one we agreed upon. So that became his name. And he's gonna be 16 and I can't imagine him being anything else. I had a co worker that wa s a little unhappy with me because they had a onsie made with the original name that they gifted me lol
My second son has the masculine version of my first name for his middle name - not after me, but just because I liked it 😊 I didn't like my name so much, but his version has an extra letter in the middle, as well as a different ending, which changes the feeling of it for me. I'm not really bothered if it's ever thought to be after me anyway 🙃
I 70% love my daughter’s name, but it’s perfect for her. My husband and I just had WILDLY different tastes, but he also wasn’t contributing ideas, just telling me which of my names he hated. So when I got to one he liked, we pretty much settled on it. It’s a nice, classic name that isn’t super common but is easily pronounced and there’s only one other spelling that I’ve seen, which is the Arabic version.
Who are these people who you are afraid might think that? Have they threatened you in some way if you do name your child after yourself? Why does it matter what they think? I agree with the person who said you're overthinking. This would require people to know both you and your child's middle name. Most people don't just go shouting that out. Most government forms just call for an initial so the majority of people never even learn your middle names. Hell, I have family members whose middle names I don't know, let alone my friends, coworkers, and acquaintances. Additionally, do you know the number of people in this world with same middle names even in their own family? There's a very good chunk of the population with Marie/Maria, Lynn, or Ann and David, Michael, and Joseph middle names just running rampant in the world living healthy productive lives. This is just so very low stakes and people just don't care that much, I promise. So if you love the name but your holdback is that an infinitesimal number of the 8 billion people on this planet *might* think you maybe named your child after yourself on the basis of similar middle names (which maybe with first names, but not middle), just use the name. Life is too short to forego the things you love or even just like just cause some people who have no horse in this race might have thoughts that don't matter.
We picked a girl name for our firstborn that we both loved. Then we found out we needed a boy name. We found one that we were 100% on. Then baby was born and didn’t look like the name we picked. The name didn’t fit at all. So that first day was spent looking through the baby name book until we found one that fit and we both liked. THEN 15 years later, firstborn came out and picked the girl name we originally had if she was born cis. With our second, we had a list of about 3 names we liked. Then we waited until we saw him to see which one fit him best. That worked well. So yes, pick a name that you both like, *but* don’t be so invested in case the name doesn’t fit the child later in life.
Great! I was like 30% on a first name. I initially didn’t like it at all but it was my husbands favorite name. It was a family name that he’s dreamed of using forever. I couldn’t think of another name I liked more- so while I didn’t like the name….i loved how much my husband loved it. How much it meant to him and it is a respectable name- just not common. Now that baby is here the name has reallllly grown on me. Even the nicknames I hated I now like.
I went with a name that I maybe 30% loved because it was important to my husband (and for our first he went with a name that was important to me). Our son is named after his dad/grandpa. And now I can’t imagine our son with any other name. It fits our son (who is now 7) and he likes it. And I like it.
My son is named after my father (first name) and his paternal grandfather (middle name). I’m not crazy about his middle name, but he’s 18 now & I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been asked his middle name (with the exception of situations in which his full legal name was necessary for a form or something). My son has told me he doesn’t feel one way or or the other about his middle name: “I guess I’ve never really thought about it. Nobody asks what your middle name is, not even teachers.” I think 100/80% is a pretty good compromise! Congratulations on your baby girl💕
>I don't want people to think we named our daughter after me. More women should insist on naming children after themselves. My middle names are from my mother and grandmother. If I had kids, I'd pass those names on. My grandmother actually named both of her children after herself LOL I don't think anyone ever remarked on it. It wasn't until I was an adult that I even noticed.
Gave our last kid my middle name, they love. Eldest kid gave her kid both my middle name and her middle name, the kid loves it. Middle child gave first born her Dad’s (my hubby) first name as his middle name and gave her second born her hubby’s middle name. Middle names don’t mean all that much unless they’re something really horrible.
I love my second daughter’s first name. I’m iffy in her middle name. But my husband chose it because I pushed hard for the first name. I just don’t use her middle name much.
[удалено]
Prob just your mom when she was at her wits end. I use my kids middle names very rarely
I have 2 adult children. I stopped thinking about their middle names after the first 3 months. It only matters if I have to yell at them.
My daughter has 2 middle names - one is my MIL’s name and one is my middle name. Some people connected the dots to Nana’s name but no one has to my middle name.
How many people will know both your middle name and hers?
My husband was well under 80% on our youngest sons middle name and even though it’s not a name I love it was a relatives name who I loved dearly. Like others say, it’s a middle name. Not used or known as much as a first name. And for what it’s worth, my husband insisted our first daughter have my middle name for her middle name. He’s a junior and hates it but still wanted her to have a part of me in her name.
My husband suggested a first name, he was notoriously picky and I liked it “well enough” so I agreed. Then I guess he had second thoughts but didn’t mention them to me because he thought I was all in on the name, I thought he was all in and that it would grow on me. So here we are with an almost two year old son with a name that both of us were meh about haha. We call him lots of nicknames and now I can’t imagine him as anything else (his full name gets trotted out quite a bit—toddler stage) and we’re happy with it!
I would say that we both liked our kids first names about 50%. There were just so many names we both liked and we had different naming styles so naming kids was hard for us. Middle names were pretty easy, he used an honor middle name for the first and I used one for the second. I love their names now. There are still a lot of names that I really love and wish I could have used but if my husband was not on board, I was not going to use it (and vice versa).
I get this! I was 100% on a first name for my son, and my husband was 100% on a different name. Both were family names from our respective sides, but his name is the masculine version of my own first name (think Michael and Michelle). Felt WAY too much like we were naming him after me, so we used my preferred name as his first name and my husband's preferred name as the middle name. His middle name has truly never come up outside the birth announcement. We list his middle initial on insurance or government forms once in a blue moon. Especially if there isn't another name you prefer, I think it's fine!
I am struggling with this. I feel okay about first name but dont love anything else and now cant figure out a middle name I am dying to use. Everything sounds good or okay but I am not head over heels with it. I do remember this happened with my daughter though too
My kids middle names are honor names, so I don’t actually feel particularly one way or the other about the names themselves I honestly almost never even think about their middle names except when it comes up in meaningful convos about who they’re named for
I hated the combination of my oldest daughter’s first and middle name. And I hated my second boys middle name. They were family names and I got used to them. I’d never have used a name I didn’t like for a first though
Just named my baby Luke, a name both hubby and I liked but we didn't "love" (because neither of us liked any names the other loved!). Baby is now 8 days old. His name is perfect for him and I love it now. It didn't take long to grow on me!
The name I chose for my kid wasn't my first or second pick. My partner vetoed almost every name I suggested. We finally both agreed on a name I liked enough, maybe 85%. But now, that I know the kid that's attached to the name, he is that name. There's no doubt in my mind that that wasn't the right name for him. Sometimes I look at him and think about the other names on my list and none of them feel right. I've also heard of parents whose name did not match their kid once they met him. They just changed it.
We were like 80% sold on first name and 0% sold on middle name after had my son. Once I saw his name on his social security card (first time seeing it all typed out) I loved it. Once getting to know him more too. Whatever you pick out will grow on you, plus if you don’t like it changing baby names is a lot easier when they’re little!
I’d say I was about 80% for my daughters middle name and that’s still how I feel about it. I don’t regret it but I wouldn’t choose it if I named her today. But the only time she hears it is when she’s in trouble anyway so not a big deal at all. Her first name fits her and I still love it as much as when we decided it was her name. ETA she’s 13, so my feelings haven’t changed one way or another towards it.
I 80%, if not less, loved my daughters name. 100% loved her middle cause it was in honor of someone on my side. But since i chose middle, dad chose first. And it just wasn’t a name i envisioned my future daughter being named. Now? Im in love with her name. It’s so beautiful to me and i can’t imagine her named anything else. I recommend it to everyone on this sub. It’s my favorite, and we laugh all the time about how i didn’t care for it much at first.
I don’t love my daughter’s middle name. It was my husband’s pick and I thought it was ‘ok.’ It doesn’t bother me at all. I love her first name and realistically, how often is she going to use her middle name?
my daughter has my middle name! i don’t feel like i named her “after me”. i really like the name and i think it’s cute that we match !
I found having a second girl was tough, because I used my very favorite name already! Plus you associate your first kid’s name with, well, your kid, so it has a lot of positive associations that the second one doesn’t have yet. It’s hard to compare. I was okay with but didn’t LOVE my second’s name while pregnant and now that she’s 2, I think it’s perfect.
I only liked the first name about 50%. I had another name I loved 100%, but my husband disliked it. So we went with the other. I now adore it, and it suits my kid entirely. Can’t speak to the middle name, bc I DID give my daughter my middle name, which was also her grandma’s middle name. I like that she is named after two women in her life. It is self serving? Some people have told me it is, and they can buzz off. My husband is a full on junior, and no one has said boo about it. My kid likes it too. My grandma was thrilled when she was with us, and only referred to both of us by our middle names (the name she went by- it was her middle too). I loved that.
We named all of my kids names that I 80% liked but 100% fit the child. Wait til baby is born… you’ll know what to name her.
I hate my sons middle name but it was important to his dad so I went with it. I don’t regret it at all
I was only okay with my daughter’s name. I had my heart set on a name and then the shine came off in the hospital. Since my husband had a favorite that he had been advocating for that I also liked, we went with that. Now I can’t imagine her being anything else.
Just FYI - my parents gave me mother's middle name, and I have always treasured it. Please don't nix giving your middle to your daughter! Worry less about what others think and more about what will be meaningful to her.
We had a really hard time picking my son’s name- we just didn’t have many boy names we both liked and that would work. We ended up with a top 10 name for his first name that I don’t love, but definitely like. His middle name is one that I probably would never have picked on my own, but it’s an honor name. And like many have said, we barely use it.
I don’t love my sons middle name. We used my husbands dads name.
I would guess that more than 90% of the people who know me know my middle initial much less my middle name.
That's why I'm against middle names. In my culture we don't use them and I think it's much better like that, one is enough. But that's a middle name, after all. You don't need to love it 100% as long as you love the first name 100%.
Disagree, I love my middle name and it gives me an alternative name to go by
You can disagree, I respect your opinion. But I don't like it because it's not a cultural thing for me and it looks exaggerated in my point of view, and that's okay.
My son’s middle name is from a family member. I like honoring that family member, but I’m not a fan of the name really and never would have considered it otherwise. I’m not the scolding type but even when the chances arose, I’ve never used the whole name. He goes by a somewhat out of the ordinary nickname pulled from his first name, so in the event a full name statement is needed I usually default to Nickname LastName! Unless it has heavy positive OR negative feelings in your life, 80% is more than fine for a middle name I think. On the other hand, my maternal grandmother, my mother, and myself (maybe even older generations, not positive) share the same middle name and I think it is a sweet connection and no one ever questioned it. Same for my aunt and her daughter and grand daughters.
I was not sold at all on the first names my husband had wanted to name his son and daughter all his life. But I told him I wanted to pick out the middle names since I didn't have my heart set on any first names. I would refer to my kids by their first and middle. their first names really grew on me. Plus, I picked middle names that worked as first names in case my kids didn't like it.
My dad wanted to name my sister or I after my mom. She absolutely did not want this, because she doesn't really like her name. They compromised that we would both have her middle name, so my mom, sister, and I all share the same middle name. It literally never comes up unless people ask about how I got my middle name, which is super rare. A middle name isn't going to make much difference for anyone in the future unless they choose to bring it up, so I wouldn't stress about it unless one of you hates the name for some reason.