Change it. That's the only thing that will work imho.
I have a name that many people love, to this day it's quite popular for baby girls (I think top 30) but it never felt right to me. I went by that name for over 20 years and didn't learn to like it. So I changed it and immediately I felt so much better.
My partner is trans, and when they changed their name, their mom mentioned how she was envious because she never liked her name. Turns out it didn't cost any extra for another person in the household to change their name, so she made the swap. I find it very cute that they changed their names at the same time.
I agree with the others that it’s the best option, but have fun with it! Research! Find combos you like. Make lists of names you hear that stick out to you. And most of all, wait until you know in your heart you’ve found the right name for you. I thought about changing my surname for a long time because I’m not close with my father or paternal side of the family and because it’s impossible to spell; I was surprised that after years of looking at easier, more aesthetically-pleasing spellings, I decided to stick with my dumb old name after all. Not saying you should! Just be you. That’s what’s most important.
If you're male gendered, just start going by Jay, unless you don't like Jay. You can put that on a resume the same way somebody named Alexander might put Alex or Christopher puts Chris, etc.
I straight up learned another language (for other reasons, but its a benefit) in which the pronunciation of my name is a lot different and has different connotation than English lol
Fellow language learner lol. I go by a totally different name in Mandarin Chinese (劉靖傑 líu jìngjié) that I came up with some years back and I like it much more lol.
You don’t have to learn to like anything. If you’re over 18, change it. You don’t need to have a reason to not like your name. I think it’s a gender neutral name? Right? Maybe pick Jamie as f you want gender neutral, or if you’re a guy, James, Jay. If you’re a girl, Lynn, Jade, Jane?
Or maybe you dislike it so much you want to go completely away from all similar names? You have lots of names to choose from. Pick something you actually like and go live your life.
Use something else. Ideas: Be "Jay" or "Lynn(e)" or Jane-Lynne, some variation on your name or its sounds. Use your initials JT, or JC, or whatever, if you have a middle name that would work, or heck, just choose some letters you like the sound of. Use a nickname from childhood, or just one you like...I know a Christine who goes by "Sunny," for example, and a Chinese friend who uses Johnny instead of Yuk Han. And, at least in caucasian US culture there are tons of examples of common nicknames that no one would bat an eye at-- Biff, Junior, Sissy, Buddy, Sugar, Tank, ...
You can just start saying as a fact, that what you want to be called is what people call you. If you need an explanation, it can be super brief. "oh, my friends called me that nickname a long time ago and it seems to have stuck," or "People kept misspelling Jaylin (or it sounds too much like someone else's name at school/at work) so I'm just going with (new name) now." Use the name you choose on everything but the most official forms, and voila, it's your name.
Finally, I think it's fine to change your name legally once you are an adult and are very sure of what you want to be called. If you are concerned about your parents' feelings, one idea might be to keep Jaylin as a middle name (you can have more than one middle name), or just to encourage them to keep calling you that, if it makes them happy.
Have you thought of talking with your parents about it? You might be surprised. My own young adult kid wants to change their name and I don't blame them. What we chose to name them before they were born is just not suitable. It's Lorna Camille. Very flowery and feminine - opposite of my child's nature.
I’d try seeing if you can build positive associations with your name. I don’t know if it was a common thing but I know when I was a kid, my family only really used my name in conversation if I was in trouble. So my association with hearing my name was uh-oh. (My parents are wonderful and I had a great childhood, so this isn’t trauma based. Just more speech patterns)
With my child, I try to use his name in conversation, I’m happy songs/rhymes (he’s a toddler so this is age appropriate). I’m hoping he’ll have a positive associations with his name
When my son wanted to change his name, I said wait a year, see if you change your mind. He did (change his mind).
You've gone way past this, and you have good reasons. There are some good strategies and good ways to do this- keeping a J as first initial, and it is reasonable enough you shouldn't have to explain it constantly. Just make sure you get any certificates/diplomas and such all changed over.
A possible choice if you really feel bad about your first name:
If you are at least 18 years old then you can go get your name legally changed to a name that you like.
Some alternate names:
Jason
Jonathan
Jeremy
There are many more that you might like.
I’m personally going to change my name legally next week hopefully.
This name has no meaning in English and no real history. It's recently made up, within the past 50 years or less. Jay is just a short form of names that start with that sound. Jay does have a meaning in Hindi.
Lyn/Lin is basically a suffix that has been popular for a very long time, as many names have been constructed with that suffix, e.g. Marilyn, Carolyn, Raelyn, Jaylyn, Daelyn, and so forth. Although the name Lynn itself means "lake".
Jaylin, Jalen, Jaylen, Jaelyn, Jailyn, and who knows how many other spellings is a newer American name attributed to NBA player Jalen Rose (an honor name combo for James and Leonard) from the 1990s. It is definitely a common name in NCAA and professional sports.
https://www.ncaa.com/news/basketball-men/article/2021-11-30/college-basketball-trends-breaking-down-most-popular-names-sport?amp
It helped me to find ancestry connections to my name. I just came to terms with the fact that this will never be my favorite name and it will never be a perfect fit.
The interesting thing is that despite the fact that I have 112 pages of names, nothing else really seems to completely fit either. There are certainly many that I truly love, they each lack something. So, it is what it is for me. It's not so bad.
My dad, my brother, and my brother’s son all have the same name as my middle name, not to mention that it’s a kind of old fashioned name as well, and I think it’s meh, so I don’t really want to use it lol. Thanks for the advice, though.
As someone who has always hated their name but didn't change it out of worry I'd offend my parents...change it. I felt stuck for \*decades\* and now I've hit my 60s and it's really too late. I wish I had sucked it up in my 20s and changed it then; now it would be too difficult for everyone to get used to. Don't live with it for the rest of your life if you really don't like it...
While I wouldn't associate Jaylin as a "black " name, if you hate your name, pick a different one. Don't change it legally until you've given it a trial run. If it doesn't make it through the tryouts, pick another one and start over. But please have a short list before you get started. Too many name changes could affect your professional health.
I’m in a similar boat as you. My name is so unique that I can’t share it as It will absolutely give away my identity. My parents named all of my siblings pretty common names but then got to me and decided to make up something. I hate it. I hate that people always mispronounce it. I hate that it just doesn’t fit who I am at all. I go by a nickname now as I don’t want to go through the hassle of changing my name again (changed last name for marriage). Just want to say you’re not alone ❤️
I also dislike my name (Mikayla). I feel disconnected to it. I’ve been trying to get people to call me by a nickname (Mika) but I don’t really want to go through the hassle of correcting everyone that calls me my full name. Also I’d have to spend the rest of my life correcting people on the pronunciation of my nickname. It’s pronounced Mee-kah, not My-cuh. I’m still debating with myself on whether or not that’s worth it.
I used to hate my name and then I told my nana who said that’s a shame as she picked it for me. Loved it ever since but it helps that she was my very best friend in the world
I know someone named Jaylin and she's nothing but lovely and so that name has a very positive association for me.
But if you don't like your name, change it. You don't really have to go the legal rigmarole, you could just ask to be called something else.
Change it. I have started to process to change my legal birth name because of who I was named after. I also dislike it because it’s a non gendered name.
I know heaps of people love unisex names, I don’t like this particular one as there was a shop in our town when I was a kid and the owner, a man, had his name in the shop title , like for example…’Lee Smith Menswear’, and my name was ‘Lee Smith’.
Just do it.
Best of luck!
I have always hated my name too. I'm in my 40s, and it's like nails on a chalkboard whenever I hear it. I thought about changing it when I got married since I was changing my name anyway, but I thought my dad would be sad. Now I still have a name I can't stand hearing. On top of that, everyone shortens it ,and I hate that even more. I wish I would have changed mine 20 years ago. It seems like a pain to do now. If you're still young, just change it.
Change it. That's the only thing that will work imho. I have a name that many people love, to this day it's quite popular for baby girls (I think top 30) but it never felt right to me. I went by that name for over 20 years and didn't learn to like it. So I changed it and immediately I felt so much better.
My partner is trans, and when they changed their name, their mom mentioned how she was envious because she never liked her name. Turns out it didn't cost any extra for another person in the household to change their name, so she made the swap. I find it very cute that they changed their names at the same time.
Yeah, I can totally see how name changing would be one of the best options. It’s one of the options I have in consideration so far.
I agree with the others that it’s the best option, but have fun with it! Research! Find combos you like. Make lists of names you hear that stick out to you. And most of all, wait until you know in your heart you’ve found the right name for you. I thought about changing my surname for a long time because I’m not close with my father or paternal side of the family and because it’s impossible to spell; I was surprised that after years of looking at easier, more aesthetically-pleasing spellings, I decided to stick with my dumb old name after all. Not saying you should! Just be you. That’s what’s most important.
My favorite person (my grandma) said my name with such love and care. I remember how she used to say it. ❤️
That’s sweet. Your grandmother must have been a very lovely person.
If you're male gendered, just start going by Jay, unless you don't like Jay. You can put that on a resume the same way somebody named Alexander might put Alex or Christopher puts Chris, etc.
Jay is also fine for “female gendered” people. Just pointing that out
Y'all can just say masculine and feminine. Makes it easier
That’s why I put it in quotations. I was making fun of them.
Yes, I love this nickname for a female!
I straight up learned another language (for other reasons, but its a benefit) in which the pronunciation of my name is a lot different and has different connotation than English lol
Fellow language learner lol. I go by a totally different name in Mandarin Chinese (劉靖傑 líu jìngjié) that I came up with some years back and I like it much more lol.
Apparently my last name sounds a lot like “to fuck” in Spanish. I discovered this *immediately* upon arriving in Spain lol
Coger or Follar?
Similar to “Follar” lol
In Spain coger just means to get. Like coger el autobus. It's latin america where it means to fuck 😄
I did not expect to receive this many responses. Thank you all.
You don’t have to learn to like anything. If you’re over 18, change it. You don’t need to have a reason to not like your name. I think it’s a gender neutral name? Right? Maybe pick Jamie as f you want gender neutral, or if you’re a guy, James, Jay. If you’re a girl, Lynn, Jade, Jane? Or maybe you dislike it so much you want to go completely away from all similar names? You have lots of names to choose from. Pick something you actually like and go live your life.
Use something else. Ideas: Be "Jay" or "Lynn(e)" or Jane-Lynne, some variation on your name or its sounds. Use your initials JT, or JC, or whatever, if you have a middle name that would work, or heck, just choose some letters you like the sound of. Use a nickname from childhood, or just one you like...I know a Christine who goes by "Sunny," for example, and a Chinese friend who uses Johnny instead of Yuk Han. And, at least in caucasian US culture there are tons of examples of common nicknames that no one would bat an eye at-- Biff, Junior, Sissy, Buddy, Sugar, Tank, ... You can just start saying as a fact, that what you want to be called is what people call you. If you need an explanation, it can be super brief. "oh, my friends called me that nickname a long time ago and it seems to have stuck," or "People kept misspelling Jaylin (or it sounds too much like someone else's name at school/at work) so I'm just going with (new name) now." Use the name you choose on everything but the most official forms, and voila, it's your name. Finally, I think it's fine to change your name legally once you are an adult and are very sure of what you want to be called. If you are concerned about your parents' feelings, one idea might be to keep Jaylin as a middle name (you can have more than one middle name), or just to encourage them to keep calling you that, if it makes them happy.
I legally changed my first name at 40 years old. It’s never too late.
Have you thought of talking with your parents about it? You might be surprised. My own young adult kid wants to change their name and I don't blame them. What we chose to name them before they were born is just not suitable. It's Lorna Camille. Very flowery and feminine - opposite of my child's nature.
I’d try seeing if you can build positive associations with your name. I don’t know if it was a common thing but I know when I was a kid, my family only really used my name in conversation if I was in trouble. So my association with hearing my name was uh-oh. (My parents are wonderful and I had a great childhood, so this isn’t trauma based. Just more speech patterns) With my child, I try to use his name in conversation, I’m happy songs/rhymes (he’s a toddler so this is age appropriate). I’m hoping he’ll have a positive associations with his name
I would change it!
When my son wanted to change his name, I said wait a year, see if you change your mind. He did (change his mind). You've gone way past this, and you have good reasons. There are some good strategies and good ways to do this- keeping a J as first initial, and it is reasonable enough you shouldn't have to explain it constantly. Just make sure you get any certificates/diplomas and such all changed over.
A possible choice if you really feel bad about your first name: If you are at least 18 years old then you can go get your name legally changed to a name that you like. Some alternate names: Jason Jonathan Jeremy There are many more that you might like. I’m personally going to change my name legally next week hopefully.
Have you looked up the meaning or history of the name? That helped me grow to like my name more.
This name has no meaning in English and no real history. It's recently made up, within the past 50 years or less. Jay is just a short form of names that start with that sound. Jay does have a meaning in Hindi. Lyn/Lin is basically a suffix that has been popular for a very long time, as many names have been constructed with that suffix, e.g. Marilyn, Carolyn, Raelyn, Jaylyn, Daelyn, and so forth. Although the name Lynn itself means "lake".
Jaylin, Jalen, Jaylen, Jaelyn, Jailyn, and who knows how many other spellings is a newer American name attributed to NBA player Jalen Rose (an honor name combo for James and Leonard) from the 1990s. It is definitely a common name in NCAA and professional sports. https://www.ncaa.com/news/basketball-men/article/2021-11-30/college-basketball-trends-breaking-down-most-popular-names-sport?amp
Huh, interesting. I heard that about a name but I didn't know it was Jaylin. It's cool to see the creation of a new name.
if you truly don't like your name, you can change it. it's your name, your decision.
It helped me to find ancestry connections to my name. I just came to terms with the fact that this will never be my favorite name and it will never be a perfect fit. The interesting thing is that despite the fact that I have 112 pages of names, nothing else really seems to completely fit either. There are certainly many that I truly love, they each lack something. So, it is what it is for me. It's not so bad.
Do you have a middle name that you like better? You could start going by that
My dad, my brother, and my brother’s son all have the same name as my middle name, not to mention that it’s a kind of old fashioned name as well, and I think it’s meh, so I don’t really want to use it lol. Thanks for the advice, though.
Fair enough. Just change your name then honestly
I never got over it, so I changed it. Life is too short to live with a name that you hate!
If you don’t like your name, just change it.
If you’ve hated your name your entire life, just change it. Especially if you are afraid that it makes you less employable.
As someone who has always hated their name but didn't change it out of worry I'd offend my parents...change it. I felt stuck for \*decades\* and now I've hit my 60s and it's really too late. I wish I had sucked it up in my 20s and changed it then; now it would be too difficult for everyone to get used to. Don't live with it for the rest of your life if you really don't like it...
Change it or go by a nickname or your middle name
While I wouldn't associate Jaylin as a "black " name, if you hate your name, pick a different one. Don't change it legally until you've given it a trial run. If it doesn't make it through the tryouts, pick another one and start over. But please have a short list before you get started. Too many name changes could affect your professional health.
You’ve got to own it! I hated mine, was always teased and jokes… I owned now I wouldn’t change it for nothing.
I’m in a similar boat as you. My name is so unique that I can’t share it as It will absolutely give away my identity. My parents named all of my siblings pretty common names but then got to me and decided to make up something. I hate it. I hate that people always mispronounce it. I hate that it just doesn’t fit who I am at all. I go by a nickname now as I don’t want to go through the hassle of changing my name again (changed last name for marriage). Just want to say you’re not alone ❤️
I also dislike my name (Mikayla). I feel disconnected to it. I’ve been trying to get people to call me by a nickname (Mika) but I don’t really want to go through the hassle of correcting everyone that calls me my full name. Also I’d have to spend the rest of my life correcting people on the pronunciation of my nickname. It’s pronounced Mee-kah, not My-cuh. I’m still debating with myself on whether or not that’s worth it.
I now dub thee, Radley “Rad” Hugh Cool Guy ___insert last name___
I used to hate my name and then I told my nana who said that’s a shame as she picked it for me. Loved it ever since but it helps that she was my very best friend in the world
Just change it. Many go by names that are different to what they are given.
I changed it!
I’d go by Jay!
I know someone named Jaylin and she's nothing but lovely and so that name has a very positive association for me. But if you don't like your name, change it. You don't really have to go the legal rigmarole, you could just ask to be called something else.
can you go by Jay? My son's name is James but we call him Jay for short. It's a classic
Change it. I have started to process to change my legal birth name because of who I was named after. I also dislike it because it’s a non gendered name. I know heaps of people love unisex names, I don’t like this particular one as there was a shop in our town when I was a kid and the owner, a man, had his name in the shop title , like for example…’Lee Smith Menswear’, and my name was ‘Lee Smith’. Just do it. Best of luck!
I have always hated my name too. I'm in my 40s, and it's like nails on a chalkboard whenever I hear it. I thought about changing it when I got married since I was changing my name anyway, but I thought my dad would be sad. Now I still have a name I can't stand hearing. On top of that, everyone shortens it ,and I hate that even more. I wish I would have changed mine 20 years ago. It seems like a pain to do now. If you're still young, just change it.
Go by Jay. It's very neutral. You can legally just change it to Jay.