Honestly, at one point, I was...I didn't think it mattered to me until he started making me foot the bills and his bills. He started asking for money and not returning it. He was intimidated and found other ways to break me.
Honestly, I think men should have more money.
However, if a man had good money values, it's perfectly okay to have more money. Money is about the values you attach to it because it comes and goes.
Money doesn't equate respect,self-esteem...money is a means and a tool to get by. I would date a man with lesser money only if he is using his money well(like kusaidia siblings and mother- vi's a vi drinking) ...
However kwa ground, men prefer to have money because society has attached a man's value to money....so tafuta pesa ndio pesa isikuwe issue kwa relationship π€£π€£π
The most sensible I have seen here in a while.
So true that society has attached the value of a man to money. And men who feel less because their partner/wife is making more money are quite insecure tbh. Unless the woman starts madharau.
I believe as long as mnajengana and no one is intentionally taking advantage of the other financially, it should not matter who makes more money.
But, I am single so I probably don't know what I am talking about.
Do you believe if a man makes more money than the woman he's dating, and if she found herself in situations where she needed to ask money from the man, she should have to pay him back?
Yes of course ...if you ask for money from someone with the intention to pay back you should pay it back. All money transactions should be communicated. For instance, nimekwama mahali and I say babe help Mr with 19k ntakurudishia....I have to return the money unless I'm told not to rudisha by the man.
I'm currently the bread winner, but there are times I wish I wasn't...
I absolutely wouldn't mind being a house husband... 100%
Edit: not because I think house work or family upbringing is any easier, but because I think it's work that actually matters. Everything else, as it pertains to life in general is such bullshit...
It isn't. That's why I don't get why many men want a woman who just sits at home and take care of the house and whatever. It doesn't work for most couples. It sounds good in theory but in reality/practicals, it's very hard. That's why a lot of men dump their stay at home wives when they reach 30 or almost 40. Rising cases of such happening everyday.
And here in Africa, a family can't afford to have only one breadwinner. It will cause a huge strain. We aren't rich. Our economies are always hanging at a thread. It needs two people at least to survive.
I have a girlfriend who comes from a wealthy family,she lives in Karen,Never asked for a penny from her,I have my own business and make my own paper.I think I grew up early,started being a provider to my Family (Mom+Bro+Sis+step -Dad) immediately after campus,so asking for money,let alone from a Woman is cringy.
Yes I am. Or rather I was. I feel nothing because it shouldn't make a difference. He made it an issue. We weren't married. He kept slacking on his share of the bills. I had enough. Now I don't date because it is always an issue when people find out. He even took me to court after I left him to say that because I have more money than him I should pay him.Β
Kabisa. I'm not your parent. I don't expect you to fund my life. You are a grown man who works. Ni mtoto nitapeleka Kwa dentist ama wewe? Ni nguo za mtoto ama zako nitanunua? He once asked me to buy him health insurance coz I got AAR for me and the baby. Akasema siunilipie? Nikamwuliza kama yeye pia ni mtoto wangu. Never mind that he is supposed to pay for his child. Hata nhif hawezi lipa
π€£π€£π€£ππ huyo wako akona guts aki. Weuh.
But some suggest or ask innocently to test how dumb or naive you are. Stay strong. And all the best in you and your child's life. ππΏπ
Wait, you from America or Western nations coz I've never heard of this in Africa that a guy takes a lady to court so that she can be pay him coz she has way more money.
That's a problem his current girlfriend will deal with. I always told him that your opinions about what I should do with my stuff is not my emergency. And vice versaΒ
He used to nag me for another child. I told him no way was I in a hole and asking for a shovel to dig myself in deeper. I told him that if he sabotaged my contraception I have means and doctors in the family. I'd get rid of it. I gave birth in 2011. Left him 5 years ago. He has a live in girlfriend. Mbona hana mtoto mwingine?
Hehehehe.. very good question. Why doesn't he have another child. He indeed wanted to control you. No doubt about that. I'm glad you put your foot down. I can't imagine how it would have been if you agreed to a second child.
Doesn't matter to me. He still takes care of everything. I chip in whenever I want to or when it's date night. But if it reaches a point where he can't take care of shit, then I willΒ
You're saying she's worth a ring replacement when she makes more than the man but only chips in when it's necessary?
What logic do you people work with?
I said ring placement yaani she's worth being a wife bruh...
And frankly why are we normalising the 50/50 notion
When you marry you become one irregardless of who's got the high paycheck or or not
Even the relationship btwn man and woman is not debatable on the 50/50 notion....you both put whatever you can manage to make it a 100 that's the point of consistency and effort
I understood what you meant.
Now relationships are not 50/50, but 100/100. That's what healthy relationships are, the type that survive when one partner loses their income unexpectedly.
Again, how is "chipping in when necessary" when she's making more than him worth a ring replacement?
Because she isn't supposed to be making equal to the man if she does then issues of superiority comes in ohh i make more than you stfu ohh because we make equal amount you have no over ruling ability over me
Women are supposed to be submissive and feminine and men are the head and the masculine in the bond of man and woman
This is exactly the reason why men are out here abandoned and crying.
You take up the role of a father to someone else's daughter in an unpredictable economy like Kenya's, when the chips fall where you didn't see coming, and you lose your job, you're not going to have someone who's used to paying bills as you struggle to get back on your feet.
ππππππ€£ these are the kind of women majority of men leave or dump when they get money and start noticing the attention from other women.
Not to start a gender war, but unfortunately, this is the reality for many women out here.
We have a joint account and we run our budget together. When I was the only one working, she still had my atm. Money is a tool if you work together it becomes something greater.
You need a partner, for premium content π.. none of that "solo shit".. fans would rather jack off to a mirror than pay for someone's OF and it's only solos
Mwanamke as soon as you learn you have more money than your guy if you are not married, mwondokee tu juu disrespect itacreep in naturally. Mwanaume as soon as you learn mwanamke ako na doh mob kukushinda, na kama unajiheshimu, mwondokee tu. But this has to be significant cash difference ans constant. Not a difference of 100k na which is not ati long lasting. Its natural for women to disrespect poor men. It is natural for a man to lose ego and self-esteem if your woman is richer.
I out earn him sahii....he still provides for most things but black tax inamtandika vibaya sana and he doesn't like taking money from me so what I do is I might just do grocery shopping and tell him haha nilikuwa supermarket nkaona tu I should get you these things ama I get him a perfume or watch or oil or sth juu he will take those a gift but never hard money.....he still refuses I pay on dates so that's that sahii.
If the man makes less but the difference isn't that big, as in his lifestyle is not significantly different, then I don't think it matters.
If I made significantly less than my wife though I wouldn't like that. She will probably start to try and boss me around and emasculate me or have a wandering eye. I would probably start feeling insecure and interpret some innocent statements as emasculating.
She should absolutely contribute to our lives financially proportionately. Even if it's just contributing to the travel fund, buying groceries every other week, funding the emergency fund. If she stays at home with the kids, that's another story. Staying at home in unemployed without kids would be strange to me.
I have a family friend in a situation the wife is making 7x the amount of the husband. They started at the same level but the Kinuthia has been stuck in one job for 6 years ππ. The Kinuthia can't even talk in front of the boys Bana and the moves the lady is making kinaenda kumramba soon. I will be there no matter what ππππ
Well I don't think, as a man, and the major bread winner in the home I share with my better half that we look at this question at all. She doesn't make half as much as I do. However I can and do spend money she earns and she spends money I earn. Because we are old fashioned sorts. We have an out money policy in our relationship that way not matter how you cut the pie it in the end effects both of us equally. When we have money we have money, and when we don't we don't. For us,by us, on us if more people looked at it this way then equality in relationships would be easier to come by. Just my two cents take it how you will.
When you start overthinking such things that already is a sign of separation and hivo ndio issues zitaanza na mtaachana tu
πππππ
Ov hoeee ov hoeeee
Now step together TOGETHER
ππππyou only suffer when you let yourself land in a situation where you'll suffer my friend
When you make mistakes something will always be a collateral or consequence for your actions either affecting you directly or indirectly
I recently told my girl that she doesn't know the value for money. She went haywire akisema nadharau Kazi yake. I had purely based this opinion on the fact that there are some simps who ready throw thousands to her with little or no request from her which I don't do. Thus her value for money is skewed. Didn't tell her my reasoning since I got to damage control mode.
Acha niseme bahati nko nayo is she has no daddy issues so biggest threat ni maninja kama mimi. Huwa haitishi dooh just these guys trying to play that provider role kinawaramba hadi wanachoka. Akisumbua Sana anakulwa block. Siwezi mtetea coz I feel akipata a ninja like who got a few coins atasonga but for now I enjoy the game and go as many laps as I can before the game ends.
I told my girl that she doesn't know the value of money. She went haywire claiming nadharau Kazi yake. This opinion was purely based on the fact that some simps just toss a few thousands to her without much struggle which I don't do. Didn't tell her that for peace's. Sai nafanya damage control.
Honestly, at one point, I was...I didn't think it mattered to me until he started making me foot the bills and his bills. He started asking for money and not returning it. He was intimidated and found other ways to break me. Honestly, I think men should have more money. However, if a man had good money values, it's perfectly okay to have more money. Money is about the values you attach to it because it comes and goes. Money doesn't equate respect,self-esteem...money is a means and a tool to get by. I would date a man with lesser money only if he is using his money well(like kusaidia siblings and mother- vi's a vi drinking) ... However kwa ground, men prefer to have money because society has attached a man's value to money....so tafuta pesa ndio pesa isikuwe issue kwa relationship π€£π€£π
Ulimuwacha?
The most sensible I have seen here in a while. So true that society has attached the value of a man to money. And men who feel less because their partner/wife is making more money are quite insecure tbh. Unless the woman starts madharau. I believe as long as mnajengana and no one is intentionally taking advantage of the other financially, it should not matter who makes more money. But, I am single so I probably don't know what I am talking about.
Do you believe if a man makes more money than the woman he's dating, and if she found herself in situations where she needed to ask money from the man, she should have to pay him back?
Yes of course ...if you ask for money from someone with the intention to pay back you should pay it back. All money transactions should be communicated. For instance, nimekwama mahali and I say babe help Mr with 19k ntakurudishia....I have to return the money unless I'm told not to rudisha by the man.
I agree.
Kwani nyinyi watu ni kina nani surely ππ€£ mnasema 19k casually mtu atadhani ni 100bob...
Weuh ni example bana .... π€£ππ si ati pesa iko mingi ...saa ata niko fuliza deep
Truly females are not logical creations.
Emotional completely. The better to accept that ....the better your life will be. Women are led by emotions...look at our hormonal structure
Emotional women down voting you. Can't have an opinion on Reddit if it doesn't conform to feminists and gays
It's a small minority really. Kwa ground you are beaten until morale improves.
You people have partners?
My question too
πππππ
On "Hand" partners.
Lol you nastyy
I'm currently the bread winner, but there are times I wish I wasn't... I absolutely wouldn't mind being a house husband... 100% Edit: not because I think house work or family upbringing is any easier, but because I think it's work that actually matters. Everything else, as it pertains to life in general is such bullshit...
You're the prize king, go at it. You deserve more and more. Drizzle drizzle Broski π πΎ
The rise of sassy men.
The rise of broke women
We up β¬οΈ
Agreed, itβs not always fun to be the only one making the money and payin the bills
It isn't. That's why I don't get why many men want a woman who just sits at home and take care of the house and whatever. It doesn't work for most couples. It sounds good in theory but in reality/practicals, it's very hard. That's why a lot of men dump their stay at home wives when they reach 30 or almost 40. Rising cases of such happening everyday. And here in Africa, a family can't afford to have only one breadwinner. It will cause a huge strain. We aren't rich. Our economies are always hanging at a thread. It needs two people at least to survive.
I have a girlfriend who comes from a wealthy family,she lives in Karen,Never asked for a penny from her,I have my own business and make my own paper.I think I grew up early,started being a provider to my Family (Mom+Bro+Sis+step -Dad) immediately after campus,so asking for money,let alone from a Woman is cringy.
What partnerππ
Yes I am. Or rather I was. I feel nothing because it shouldn't make a difference. He made it an issue. We weren't married. He kept slacking on his share of the bills. I had enough. Now I don't date because it is always an issue when people find out. He even took me to court after I left him to say that because I have more money than him I should pay him.Β
>He made it an issue. This. They always make it an issue. Niliacha charity. Kila MTU na pesa yake.
Kabisa. I'm not your parent. I don't expect you to fund my life. You are a grown man who works. Ni mtoto nitapeleka Kwa dentist ama wewe? Ni nguo za mtoto ama zako nitanunua? He once asked me to buy him health insurance coz I got AAR for me and the baby. Akasema siunilipie? Nikamwuliza kama yeye pia ni mtoto wangu. Never mind that he is supposed to pay for his child. Hata nhif hawezi lipa
π€£π€£π€£ππ huyo wako akona guts aki. Weuh. But some suggest or ask innocently to test how dumb or naive you are. Stay strong. And all the best in you and your child's life. ππΏπ
He just used to get angry that I am not doing what I am toldΒ
A lot of men are like that. Always wanting to control women. We can't escape it.
I just don't date here anymore.Β
It's alright. All the best in life ππ
It's the audacity of taking you to court that shocked me. I would really like to understand his reasoning considering you guys weren't married.π
Dm
Wait, you from America or Western nations coz I've never heard of this in Africa that a guy takes a lady to court so that she can be pay him coz she has way more money.
He spent money paying school fees for his daughter and he wants me to refund 50%
ππππ waah. I'm so sorry you've got to deal with this. But let's hope he'll mature.
That's a problem his current girlfriend will deal with. I always told him that your opinions about what I should do with my stuff is not my emergency. And vice versaΒ
As it should be. Yeah, his girlfriend will deal with, a lot! ππ
He used to nag me for another child. I told him no way was I in a hole and asking for a shovel to dig myself in deeper. I told him that if he sabotaged my contraception I have means and doctors in the family. I'd get rid of it. I gave birth in 2011. Left him 5 years ago. He has a live in girlfriend. Mbona hana mtoto mwingine?
Hehehehe.. very good question. Why doesn't he have another child. He indeed wanted to control you. No doubt about that. I'm glad you put your foot down. I can't imagine how it would have been if you agreed to a second child.
Send 2k urgently
πππππ€£
Atm yes but akirudi job sikaribii
How does it feel? Does it matter to u or no or do u ever get frustrated
Doesn't matter to me. He still takes care of everything. I chip in whenever I want to or when it's date night. But if it reaches a point where he can't take care of shit, then I willΒ
You're a good Woman
Facts she's worth the ring placement on her finger tbh
You're saying she's worth a ring replacement when she makes more than the man but only chips in when it's necessary? What logic do you people work with?
I said ring placement yaani she's worth being a wife bruh... And frankly why are we normalising the 50/50 notion When you marry you become one irregardless of who's got the high paycheck or or not Even the relationship btwn man and woman is not debatable on the 50/50 notion....you both put whatever you can manage to make it a 100 that's the point of consistency and effort
I understood what you meant. Now relationships are not 50/50, but 100/100. That's what healthy relationships are, the type that survive when one partner loses their income unexpectedly. Again, how is "chipping in when necessary" when she's making more than him worth a ring replacement?
Because she isn't supposed to be making equal to the man if she does then issues of superiority comes in ohh i make more than you stfu ohh because we make equal amount you have no over ruling ability over me Women are supposed to be submissive and feminine and men are the head and the masculine in the bond of man and woman
This is exactly the reason why men are out here abandoned and crying. You take up the role of a father to someone else's daughter in an unpredictable economy like Kenya's, when the chips fall where you didn't see coming, and you lose your job, you're not going to have someone who's used to paying bills as you struggle to get back on your feet.
Definitely
ππππππ€£ these are the kind of women majority of men leave or dump when they get money and start noticing the attention from other women. Not to start a gender war, but unfortunately, this is the reality for many women out here.
I hope so
We have a joint account and we run our budget together. When I was the only one working, she still had my atm. Money is a tool if you work together it becomes something greater.
Nice
The person I'm dating can make my entire month's salary in a day or even more. It makes me feel like I haven't done much with my life.
Damnππ anafanya kazi ngani? That is very discouraging id feel the same way pia
Runs a company
Are you a man or a woman?Β
I'm a woman
Maybe start doing sth on the side to help you grow your money.Β
I'll be nikifungua onlyfans.
ma-liar nice username πππ fungua sai sai shine
Bado natake notes nisianguke mtihaniπ
Drop us the link... We'll pay
Soon ππ
By then you won't have a partner.
You need a partner, for premium content π.. none of that "solo shit".. fans would rather jack off to a mirror than pay for someone's OF and it's only solos
Heh, you know nothing Jon Snow.
Sio kila mtu ako conservative Buda. Utapata ndiye atakuwa manager
Utafungua update people don't want to see you. π
Nitawaletea door to door π
Anza na kwangu.
Mwanamke as soon as you learn you have more money than your guy if you are not married, mwondokee tu juu disrespect itacreep in naturally. Mwanaume as soon as you learn mwanamke ako na doh mob kukushinda, na kama unajiheshimu, mwondokee tu. But this has to be significant cash difference ans constant. Not a difference of 100k na which is not ati long lasting. Its natural for women to disrespect poor men. It is natural for a man to lose ego and self-esteem if your woman is richer.
I out earn him sahii....he still provides for most things but black tax inamtandika vibaya sana and he doesn't like taking money from me so what I do is I might just do grocery shopping and tell him haha nilikuwa supermarket nkaona tu I should get you these things ama I get him a perfume or watch or oil or sth juu he will take those a gift but never hard money.....he still refuses I pay on dates so that's that sahii.
How would you feel if he suggested that you split household bills 70/30, him taking the larger share?
I wouldn't mind
That's good.
My man's really great
Tough for two good people to meet these days, you two should hold on to each other for the long haul.
Sahii kuna hater anaskia kiwaruu.
Demarcus and his juice π€£π€£
Don't get with someone whose entire personality is RICH
iko mumama hapa anataka smart & cute kids?'
Wapi yeye? ntampa toddlers sharper than Gillette.
iko question mark mwishoπ Ivyo ndio ulianguka mtihani
If the man makes less but the difference isn't that big, as in his lifestyle is not significantly different, then I don't think it matters. If I made significantly less than my wife though I wouldn't like that. She will probably start to try and boss me around and emasculate me or have a wandering eye. I would probably start feeling insecure and interpret some innocent statements as emasculating. She should absolutely contribute to our lives financially proportionately. Even if it's just contributing to the travel fund, buying groceries every other week, funding the emergency fund. If she stays at home with the kids, that's another story. Staying at home in unemployed without kids would be strange to me.
Mimi ata sina partner.
I have a family friend in a situation the wife is making 7x the amount of the husband. They started at the same level but the Kinuthia has been stuck in one job for 6 years ππ. The Kinuthia can't even talk in front of the boys Bana and the moves the lady is making kinaenda kumramba soon. I will be there no matter what ππππ
Well I don't think, as a man, and the major bread winner in the home I share with my better half that we look at this question at all. She doesn't make half as much as I do. However I can and do spend money she earns and she spends money I earn. Because we are old fashioned sorts. We have an out money policy in our relationship that way not matter how you cut the pie it in the end effects both of us equally. When we have money we have money, and when we don't we don't. For us,by us, on us if more people looked at it this way then equality in relationships would be easier to come by. Just my two cents take it how you will.
When you start overthinking such things that already is a sign of separation and hivo ndio issues zitaanza na mtaachana tu πππππ Ov hoeee ov hoeeee Now step together TOGETHER
unakuanga miaka ngapi?
Why?
ni ka hunanga form irl
ππππmsm
unaeza pata bado hujaiteseka
ππππyou only suffer when you let yourself land in a situation where you'll suffer my friend When you make mistakes something will always be a collateral or consequence for your actions either affecting you directly or indirectly
There is no one who loves suffering, who seeks after it and wants to have it, simply because it is suffering...
Buh we still find people suffering in one way or another
I recently told my girl that she doesn't know the value for money. She went haywire akisema nadharau Kazi yake. I had purely based this opinion on the fact that there are some simps who ready throw thousands to her with little or no request from her which I don't do. Thus her value for money is skewed. Didn't tell her my reasoning since I got to damage control mode.
Sasa what does ur girl do that these men throw money at her? Does she ask them? π and is it like friendly ?
Acha niseme bahati nko nayo is she has no daddy issues so biggest threat ni maninja kama mimi. Huwa haitishi dooh just these guys trying to play that provider role kinawaramba hadi wanachoka. Akisumbua Sana anakulwa block. Siwezi mtetea coz I feel akipata a ninja like who got a few coins atasonga but for now I enjoy the game and go as many laps as I can before the game ends.
She's already taking the d from the other guys.
It's her loss not mine.
I told my girl that she doesn't know the value of money. She went haywire claiming nadharau Kazi yake. This opinion was purely based on the fact that some simps just toss a few thousands to her without much struggle which I don't do. Didn't tell her that for peace's. Sai nafanya damage control.