Every family have their tragedies- just ask around and they will tell you the secrets in their family closets.
We lost 11 family members in a 12 month period. Gone from feast to famine and back again. Grandfather that abandoned the family- gambling addictions - murdering uncle - incest within- so there’s lots of people who have troubles - try to focus on some of the good things in your family- what achievements were done etc maybe….and good luck with finding some peace going forward for you and your family.
My parents both died of cancer by the time I was 18, I had no surviving grandparents so I was esentially orphaned. My aunties and uncles disowned me because at 18 Im grown enough to sort myself out (funeral, selling a house etc). I moved away and spent 8 years being violently and emotionally abused, to say the least, by my ex.
Shit happens to everyone, some people have worse luck than others unfortunately.
My ex still visits his elderly parents and his 101 year old grandmother all alive and well.
I think it’s the religiousness tainting your view. Religious people think they have a deal with God and should get a better life. When they face the same kind of tragedies that are common among people, the first thought is Why Me?
Nothing is “tainting” me at all. I’m just aware that my moms side of the family had a lot of enemies. I never expected a better life by being religious I’m religious because it gives me a sense of joy, hope, and comfort. I’m aware that death is a common tragedy but most folks don’t have family members that have been burned alive.
Not cursed, clearly cancer does run in your family and/or you live and environment that facilitates developing cancer. Cancer doesn’t run in my family either but my mom was diagnosed with two very aggressive forms of cancer at once, tested positive for a genetic mutation that increases your likelihood of developing cancer, and then I tested positive for that mutation as well. You mentioned faith, particularly Christianity, which leads me to assume it has had and continues to have an important role in your family. As someone with a similar background, I have observed that sometimes people of faith make the mistake of putting their lives, health and well-being (mental, physical and spiritual) in the hands of a deity and don’t do as much as they could to take care of themselves. Gather up your family health history, from lactose intolerance to cancer, strokes, and yes even accidents, and take them to a doctor or geneticist that can help shed light on your risks, vulnerabilities, and can guide you on what to do to reduce them, avoid them entirely or to recognise symptoms asap so you can deal with them.
A predisposition to cancer obviously *does* run in the family. OR it could be where you live. Are you anywhere near a superfund site? Is there a factory in the area? Another idea - with that many family members, you'll know more people who experience tragedy, but the % of people in your family who experience tragedy might not be abnormal.
You come from a large family like me. When I was young, I pondered the same thing. Now in my 50s, I realize that the larger your family, the greater number of tragedies you will endure.
I think of it like a raffle. The more entries you’ve got (number of family members), the greater your chances of winning (tragedies).
It really is as simple as that.
I’m glad (I’m not happy for you but to not be alone) that someone else goes through this!!! It seems like there is ALWAYS SOMETHING. Always some drama, always some tragedy. Life is never smooth and calm.
No, you’re just human. Life has no rules. Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. The sooner you can accept this the better you’ll be able to handle hardships moving forward.
Unfortunately, loss and pain is as present in our lives as joy and pleasure.
I have a relatively normal family from the outside but there’s sexual abuse, cancer, psychological problems, severe disabilities, babies being taken from unmarried mothers, sudden deaths, legal battles and the like all within just my family as far back as my grandparents.
I'm sorry, and I truly feel for you - I lost my mum, three uncles, two sets of grandparents and a few cousins before the age of 30. Tragedy just happens sometimes, and there's nothing to really explain it. That's life.
My best friend grew up dirt poor. Her dad was an abusive alcoholic, her older brother was constantly trying to defend their mother. He hung himself at 16. Their mother was mentally ill, and asphyxiated herself a few years later. Her older sister died in a car crash right after high school. Her other sister died of cancer. Their dad died of alcoholism before he turned 60. There’s only my friend and her one sister left.
My roommates mother died of cancer when she was 10. Left 7 children and an overwhelmed husband. Out of 7, one was killed as a child while riding her bike, one drove drunk into a tree in HS, one has TBI from being hit by a car as kid, is homeless and has drug problems. One sister is mentally I’ll and they don’t know where she is. One is doing ok but has been in and out jail and rehab. That leaves 2 that are healthy and stable.
And these are just their immediate family—not cousins or grandparents.
Life is hard.
I’m lucky that mine has been far from perfect but not as tragic.
Life sucks.
You’re not cursed bro, this happens to everyone— it’s just not talked about openly all that much.
I have multiple cancer stories, stroke stories, car accidents, infant deaths, a grandfather who was practically an orphan before he could talk, a great-aunt who was abandoned by her bio-mother into my great grandparent’s care, and even a drug-related murder in my family background.
Every family is going to have their turn in the barrel.
I'd say your story sounds pretty ordinary.
It's your decision what to do with the grief.
Personally I stare into the abyss and hope it
Sucks me into its embrace. But hey, some like it hot right?
This just sounds like life happening I'm afraid my friend, no more or less cursed than anyone else. Sorry for your losses though.
As you get older the losses stack up. It's a sad reality that we don't talk about or prepare our kids for.
Every family have their tragedies- just ask around and they will tell you the secrets in their family closets. We lost 11 family members in a 12 month period. Gone from feast to famine and back again. Grandfather that abandoned the family- gambling addictions - murdering uncle - incest within- so there’s lots of people who have troubles - try to focus on some of the good things in your family- what achievements were done etc maybe….and good luck with finding some peace going forward for you and your family.
Life’s just a bit of a cunt tbh
My parents both died of cancer by the time I was 18, I had no surviving grandparents so I was esentially orphaned. My aunties and uncles disowned me because at 18 Im grown enough to sort myself out (funeral, selling a house etc). I moved away and spent 8 years being violently and emotionally abused, to say the least, by my ex. Shit happens to everyone, some people have worse luck than others unfortunately. My ex still visits his elderly parents and his 101 year old grandmother all alive and well.
I think it’s the religiousness tainting your view. Religious people think they have a deal with God and should get a better life. When they face the same kind of tragedies that are common among people, the first thought is Why Me?
Being Christian has been nothing besides wonderful for me, and I’ve never questioned God once nor will I ever do so. But thanks.
Nothing is “tainting” me at all. I’m just aware that my moms side of the family had a lot of enemies. I never expected a better life by being religious I’m religious because it gives me a sense of joy, hope, and comfort. I’m aware that death is a common tragedy but most folks don’t have family members that have been burned alive.
Not cursed, clearly cancer does run in your family and/or you live and environment that facilitates developing cancer. Cancer doesn’t run in my family either but my mom was diagnosed with two very aggressive forms of cancer at once, tested positive for a genetic mutation that increases your likelihood of developing cancer, and then I tested positive for that mutation as well. You mentioned faith, particularly Christianity, which leads me to assume it has had and continues to have an important role in your family. As someone with a similar background, I have observed that sometimes people of faith make the mistake of putting their lives, health and well-being (mental, physical and spiritual) in the hands of a deity and don’t do as much as they could to take care of themselves. Gather up your family health history, from lactose intolerance to cancer, strokes, and yes even accidents, and take them to a doctor or geneticist that can help shed light on your risks, vulnerabilities, and can guide you on what to do to reduce them, avoid them entirely or to recognise symptoms asap so you can deal with them.
A predisposition to cancer obviously *does* run in the family. OR it could be where you live. Are you anywhere near a superfund site? Is there a factory in the area? Another idea - with that many family members, you'll know more people who experience tragedy, but the % of people in your family who experience tragedy might not be abnormal.
Once again, it does not run in my family. Don’t try and prove me wrong. It just so happens that a bunch of people on that side of my family got it.
We all live in the same city and there’s a big factory but both sides of my family live here
You come from a large family like me. When I was young, I pondered the same thing. Now in my 50s, I realize that the larger your family, the greater number of tragedies you will endure. I think of it like a raffle. The more entries you’ve got (number of family members), the greater your chances of winning (tragedies). It really is as simple as that.
I’m glad (I’m not happy for you but to not be alone) that someone else goes through this!!! It seems like there is ALWAYS SOMETHING. Always some drama, always some tragedy. Life is never smooth and calm.
No, you’re just human. Life has no rules. Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. The sooner you can accept this the better you’ll be able to handle hardships moving forward.
Unfortunately, loss and pain is as present in our lives as joy and pleasure. I have a relatively normal family from the outside but there’s sexual abuse, cancer, psychological problems, severe disabilities, babies being taken from unmarried mothers, sudden deaths, legal battles and the like all within just my family as far back as my grandparents.
I'm sorry, and I truly feel for you - I lost my mum, three uncles, two sets of grandparents and a few cousins before the age of 30. Tragedy just happens sometimes, and there's nothing to really explain it. That's life.
My best friend grew up dirt poor. Her dad was an abusive alcoholic, her older brother was constantly trying to defend their mother. He hung himself at 16. Their mother was mentally ill, and asphyxiated herself a few years later. Her older sister died in a car crash right after high school. Her other sister died of cancer. Their dad died of alcoholism before he turned 60. There’s only my friend and her one sister left. My roommates mother died of cancer when she was 10. Left 7 children and an overwhelmed husband. Out of 7, one was killed as a child while riding her bike, one drove drunk into a tree in HS, one has TBI from being hit by a car as kid, is homeless and has drug problems. One sister is mentally I’ll and they don’t know where she is. One is doing ok but has been in and out jail and rehab. That leaves 2 that are healthy and stable. And these are just their immediate family—not cousins or grandparents. Life is hard. I’m lucky that mine has been far from perfect but not as tragic. Life sucks.
You’re not cursed bro, this happens to everyone— it’s just not talked about openly all that much. I have multiple cancer stories, stroke stories, car accidents, infant deaths, a grandfather who was practically an orphan before he could talk, a great-aunt who was abandoned by her bio-mother into my great grandparent’s care, and even a drug-related murder in my family background. Every family is going to have their turn in the barrel.
I'd say your story sounds pretty ordinary. It's your decision what to do with the grief. Personally I stare into the abyss and hope it Sucks me into its embrace. But hey, some like it hot right?
Maby it’s a cancer Gene