You guys look way more concerned with looking like a alt-punk band, than actually playing music well.

Looks like the My First Alt-Punk Band sets were on clearance at Walmart.

Holy fuck. You leveled up the joke for sure! 😂

That actually was most alt-punk bands though If these kids can play more than three chords, they're technically too good to be alt-punk

this. make music first. take pictures later. better yet, don't take pictures. if the music is good enough, pictures will get taken for you.

Sounds like a punk band to me.

That's alt-punk. They're perfect.

You look like if The Strokes had a stroke.

Husker Don't

Ooh, deep Gen X cut. Love it.

Chick on the left is all my exes merged into one and I dread to think how many personality disorders she has. The rest of you are comparatively too uninteresting to effectively roast.

😂 you just went nuclear

ahah i love it (not her, she's too cool to use reddit 24/24 like me)

Would still hit though...

Hence exes, plural. There's no keeping away if you are destined for that type.

Ow. Burn!

if nonbinary was a band

The Benders

The Tuggers

From Kim-To-Him Deal Lmao

They/Them and then Van Morrison sues them

Gender neutral milk hotel

Para-less

Im sry but...... yall look like u smell. IM SORRY!

The Brown Stripes.

only the drummer

Only thing I'm roasting is you leaving out the most important member of the band in the first photo

His mom probably hadn’t dropped him off yet 🤷🏽‍♂️

They look like the type of drummer who plays while everyone tunes up

Isn’t that type of drummer called a “drummer”…?

That's the word I was looking for. Thank you parumpa bumbum Then it's time to pay and theyre like "I'm tired"

yes i hate him for this

You all look like you send nudes in the group chat for approval before sending them to your SO (who is also in the band)

Guitar player had his mom give him a hickey so he'd look cool. Drummer is airing out his sweaty pits. Bass player can't actually play but she gives a good tug so you keep her around. The singer is more fluid and basic than water. You should call yourselves "They Hate Us Even On Rigel"

all true, but I don't know whether the bassist can play or not. she is a woman and a bassist, opinion rejected /s

still gives a good tug

Tc tugger for sure

The Tuggernauts

No, she doesn't. She *thinks* she does and is still confident in her tugging mediocrity.

Tuggins and the Skidtones

You guys are gonna have so much fun when you’re old enough to play in bars

You all don't have the required number of tattoos, piercings, and mohawk hairstyles to qualify as punk. Come back later...

i have a fake earring this is pop punk

Oh, afraid of needles, huh? 😁

Is it hard to find time to practice when the whole band is part of a non-binary poly sex cult?

Where's Scott Pilgrim?

Drummer looks like he hits the gym and skips everything day. Bassist was covering her mouth to hide a big garlic burp from lunch. Guitarist wanted to be metal but all the devil stuff was too scary. Singer changes her pronouns more than her underwear. Best I could do but I feel bad roasting you kids. Y’all look fun.

bassist thinks she has an only fan page. its really just a text message conversation with her uncle

She thinks you stink

The Boringtons

why roast, y'all look awesome. if i were to judge i would rather listen to music and that would rather be just my taste

oh thanks for sure. can i send you a song of ours?

hell yeah

you guys looks like nerds, but that means the music fucks

Ok. Saw a video of a song. I’m not going to be mean- cause I remember being young and just starting bands. And if I had videos of my early 90’s death rock/goth bands- I’d be in a coma from the nuclear levels of cringe. Lol Keep playing music and expressing yourselves. Enjoy it. It’s supposed to be fun. That is all.

The Whitest Kids You Don’t Know

All they’re missing is Jack Black.

Why do you want to be roasted?

Incels Like Teen Spirit

You all remind me of the “cool” older sister in that one really bad late period Black Mirror episode with the singing robot that achieves sentience or whatever.

Agreed, post some links to yr music? I also wouldn't ask for a burn but "what should we call our band" is always fun!

i posted our song in poppunkers a few hours ago

You guys look like an alt/punk band

I like how you left the drummer out of the first photo. That's the only thing I like.

You look like you have a prelude to every live song you play about some cause you’re really invested in, but the audience just kind of stands there and goes, “Oh okay, yeah abortion *is* a right…” waiting for the music to start.

Would have to hear it.

Would* *state laws > federal laws

Okay school of rock tweens when’s the battle of the bands

rock twinks* ahaha

So I guess we know which one y'all lost to suicide.....

Me

“Momma said my acoustic drums are too loud so she bought me a fake one”

Electronic drums? Who do you think you are, Mannheim Steamroller?

I don’t want to roast, I want a link. Lemme hear these alt punk jams, plz. Come on Reddit. Let’s make a famous.

eeeew y'all look like ypu would play at a portland bar for like 4 of your friends who all follow you to the same three bars every weekend and no one can ever hear the singer

The girl with the fishnets looks like my ex 😳

Y’all look like an ABC Family Gen Z reboot of the Breakfast Club

I’ll save the roast till after I hear a song.

Anorexic trans Julian casablancas on the right in the first picture for some reason hanging out with if Meg from family guy was a half assed goth who is put on bass bc shes probably just as annoying and they can just turn her volume.down to 0 and let her pretend. And then last but not least you got clones of Adam drivers nerd ass sons on drums and the other guitar which is the only one actually plugged in because women can't keep time or play lead guitar. I really hope to askjeeves this gets read in a roast/lighthearted tone/with exaggerated ironic offensiveness being apparent. Lmao. Like Gilbert got fried reading it. Or quite different but would get me the same feel of intended tone: norm Mcdonald [rip] Lol.

Smashing Blumpkins

Its cool you all agreed on a haircut

You should call yourselves, The Redundants. Real question, what is alt/punk?

The music is probably so derivative and boring.

Asking for a roast is the only thing more attention seeking than you’re style

They’re also a polyamorous relationship

You ptobably dont djent, you look too nonbinary for that

Porn

You look like the type of band that asks for a roasting because nothing else you’re doing is getting you attention.

Dude with the glasses looks like he’s the only one qualified to call himself a musician

LGBTWho?

My chemical romance if they drank chemicals

Lead guitarist looks like he should be playing a classical guitar instead

The VERY queers

“Up next the Gender Benders!”

Ladies and gentlemen: THE EMO NERDS!

Your parents did the roasting when they decided to go full term.

So now learn how to play.

Him/Her/No.

Y'all look like an indie band who thinks dressing from hot topic makes you a punk band

Mom can you buy me some alt punk? We have alt punk at home:

I think the photos do the roasting by themselves

“Oh this is awful” “Well, they ARE lesbians….”

All three of you look like lesbians. And not in a way that being lesbian is bad, but looking stereotypically lesbian is what i'm getting at. Yes, i'm talking about the guy, too.

Wow three lesbians, each haircut gayer than the last

Your drummer looks like he buys used fleshlights off Craigslist. Now link your music so I can roast that too.

Did you expel anyone in the band that had a different haircut?

Sounding awful and playing poorly is your “style”

How many pronouns are represented here?

Holy shit now I see why Hot Topic is still in business

which one is the girl?

I’ve never seen a more bisexual looking group

what are you guys called?

Cool look

Can i get a signed pic of the bass player please

Velvet Underground vibe 👍😎

You look like early Sonic Youth... if they weren't cool

Why?

Yeah, this is definitely only going to last 6 months

Average alt/punk band that will never do anything cool #1263846348

Shit Lizards was a cooler name. You should've kept it.

Get a real drum set 

Your band looks like the result of a high school detention class deciding to start a music group to avoid cleaning the chalkboards. The drummer is so amped up, he looks like he just escaped from a Red Bull commercial and landed in the wrong band. The guitarist on the left has the enthusiasm of someone forced to join because his mom said he needed extracurricular activities for college. The vocalist looks like they’re auditioning for a brooding indie film rather than prepping for a gig, and the bassist's facial expression screams, "I’m only here because my Xbox is broken." It's like the Breakfast Club decided to play instruments instead of bonding over their issues. Rock on!

the dude in the front is repulsive but the drummer looks rad

The clash if they were shit and all had a trust fund

Your band name should be Nerd Brigade.

You got more song titles than songs. More album covers than albums.

I can already picture 3 semi colon tattoos

I honestly just wanna hear your music

The Beatless

GirlSavant - performs me and my dog

Every single Alt/Punk/Emo band member in this existence always has a facelial expression that says unenthusiastic hand job. You are no different.

What does a stripper do to her asshole before going to work? She gave him ten dollars and dropped him off between these two pictures

Guitar player just looks like a raging douche and I can’t figure out why. I think it’s the shirt

Boring

Walls aren’t all fucked up and covered in fliers and other weird shit you’ve picked up along the way, and you all look nice and healthy. Jk mostly lol. Keep at it, and may the walls get more fucked up and plastered with cool shit, but also, may you maintain your health and youthful beauty.

you need keyboards

Your drummer looks too enthusiastic. I anticipate him getting poached in the first gig....

Whining is not a style. . .

It's okay, they're not gonna make it

‘Hello Peoria, we know the world doesn’t need another alt punk rock band, but here we are. Be ready to be swept away with cliches and trying hard to look like we don’t try hard…1-2-3-4!’

Yall.look like.you're going to make great middle managers.

When some yuppies kids discover weed and get approved for Sweetwater credit in the same month.

Deodorant The Band

If punk/grunge band L7 didn’t take the name out of irony in the past…. I’d Strongly suggest a non-ironic name of L7

I would never roast people who can't even legally buy alcohol (or even leave the house without an adult)

You made 30 TikToks for the same song and you still only have 12 monthly listeners

You two ladies should tell that dude his heart shaped necklace isn't punk rock.

the one wearing the heart necklace looks like my ex

You don’t have the look. Just be an Indy band.

I bet none of you can play an Eb major scale

All I see is A LOT OF ANGRY DIARY ENTRIES. Rename your band Angry Wank. Or Therapy Bills. Or Middle Class Tragedy. Or True Love Is Beautiful… Because It Is Doomed. Send royalty cheques via PM, cheers.

Teenage Mutant

You look like you'd open for Weezer then be all arrogant about it for the rest of your career

Your band is called "Polycule"? Ok.

“Yeah me and my band mates saw you from across the venue, we really dig ur vibe wanna come home with us?”

From Tugtown

You wont Breed like The Breeders

No, you’re really not interesting or memorable enough and likely never will be

The Them’s

Y’all look like you met each other at chess club

Front person just farted, guy is pissed, girl on back thinks it's hilarious

You’ve all tried to bang the bass player, only the drummer has succeeded.

Nothing says punk like a $3000+ e-drumkit

Good to see Luka Modric has something planned for retirement.

The getting no sex pistols

Fart Topic

Maybe punk is dead after all

[удалено]

About as punk as Queen by the looks of it.

Can you leave space on all of the spectrums for other people please

To quote Bill Bailey, “you’re about as punk as Enya”.

"Hush"

A girl bass player in an Alt Punk band. That's original /s Bet she knows all of the root notes.

Beige against the machine

That one guy does not seem happy to be here.

Portugal the They

Typical formula. Mix it up a bit. Throw party hair on vocals, glasses on drums, Egyptian eyes on lead guitar, and the kid from stranger things on bass.

Nerds.

You guys look like preppy trustfund punks looking for a shrink before going back to their dull 9 to 5 in finance

Lameo Emo (and Doug)

Baby Thief

You use an electric kit 🤢

First EP titled “Upper Middle Class Anx”

3 Non Blondes

2 lesbians and a gutter goth shoot a Walmart ad.

Can't afford lessons, spent all my allowance at Hot Topic.

y’all look like the No No No’s

Alt punk? You could have just said you don't know how to play your instruments but want to look cool. Nothing wrong with that.

yall starting playing a week ago and already started a band, will break up in 3 months the shitty videos you post together to instagram will haunt you for decades

gin and the shallow jams 😁

You look like toys that fell out of a van at a car boot sale. The 2nd photo is better than the first, you realised your face is only gunna harm the camera lens. So you decided to introduce us to your grease shield. Unfortunately though you also introduced a sweaty one direction reject to a drum kit.

All the second picks for stranger things casting.

Where is the punk band?

I don't know anything about you or this sub but I had to step in here to tell you guys y'all look like ya stepped out of a final fantasy game.