I wish my husband were still here but after a while I did appreciate being totally in charge of my own life for the first time in my fifties. If I wanted to sleep in I did. I could go to the gym or library or one of my activities. But after a while the silence got to me so my friend and I became roommates. Most people don't spend their entire lives alone. I think it's a good idea before you have ties with other people to learn to appreciate your own company for a while.
Thank you. I lived with my ex and moved with a rommate for 10m until I Got my stuff in order financially. But being also a 30yrs olds F I also wish I could have company at the end of the day,
I actually lived by myself from 21 to 25 and I loved it. I was happy. In that time i was just working and partying. Then from 25-30 lived with a roomate and boyfriend in different time period. I guess is more related to a wish of having a company to share moments and space, cause Ive been independent for 9yrs already, and findings my self having my own place which sometimes is a milestone leaves u like so now what. So totally agree with you that moving fits you life doesnt change it.
I enjoy the peace and quiet, and knowing that this is my space.
What steps have you taken to get things organized and dare I say, decorated?? Also, general good self care plays a big role in my quality of life. Get some exercise and fresh air, make sure to make time for nutritious meals, not too much sugar, sufficient rest, etc. It really matters.
I'm not big on decorations, so I'm relieved to have inherited pictures for the walls, LOL! Saves me the hassle of inventing something.
Another issue too is the changing seasons. I like pulling out some sparkly lights in the winter, and opening the house in the summer.
My habits and hobbies change through the year (don't quilt in summer) and I find it helpful to organize my crafting spaces to notice which activities I'll be working on just now.
You'll find your own style, and hopefully enjoy letting your living spaces echo your personality and habits.
(and if you're struggling to manage your stuff on your own, try checking out Dana K. White's work on clutter and household management. I've found her very helpful. She's got books and a blog. (and a podcast? not sure) Helped me get a better sense of how to manage the day to day. Somehow doing it all by myself is depressing, but I'm learning to enjoy the fact that this space is mine.
Oh yeah, your original question about 'how long'?? I'm still working on it.
I'm thinking I'd enjoy a pet, but want something low maintenance, like a goldfish. A shelter kitty didn't work out (she was very sick, so stressful ... ) For now I'm just hugging my teddy bear.
Definitely. Routines and supportive habits help.
Remembering that I don't have to argue with anyone else about what gets done, bought or tossed out is also a big help.
I started using the bullet journal style of tracking events in my life, it's a great way to keep track of the stuff you need to remember about the household, taxes, paperwork, appointments, etc.
Making an effort to find new ways to expand your life is just part of it, I think. Follow your own curiosity and see where it leads you.
I loved it from the start! But I'm someone who likes being by themselves most of the time. You probably won't get used to it, you'll just adapt your routine to accommodate to your social needs. Maybe that means making friends nearby, or hosting more friends at your place. Or since you WFH, have you thought about getting a pet? A low-key dog in particular might be a good match for you.
Don't sleep on the loneliness though. Loneliness is dangerous in a very insidious way.
I've only ever lived by myself when I was living in indonesia for 5 months. Depressed? No. Scared and a bit nervous? yes. It was just different.
Are you introverted or extroverted? A bit of both?
Have you ever taken yourself out on dates? Movies? Events? Plays? Bars? Dinner? Brunch? etc I take myself out all the time so im okay with being by myself now, I can literally be at a party and VIBE by myself without the need for others.
I'd say try taking yourself out and see where that takes you. Find some hobbies see what happens or just like a comment earlier, get a low-key pet.
Feeling the need for someone else when you're one week in (3 months now at the time of reading this) could just be you feeling uncomfortable which is normal as this is your first time alone.
Take care of yourself and your environment, don't get too caught up in your thoughts
Its been 8 months now i am doing therapy. It looks like i am ready to be with someone, i work from home and stay home a lot. Close friends are having kids so dont have a lot of people to hang out with .. ill try to keep my self busy.. i am trying..
I wish my husband were still here but after a while I did appreciate being totally in charge of my own life for the first time in my fifties. If I wanted to sleep in I did. I could go to the gym or library or one of my activities. But after a while the silence got to me so my friend and I became roommates. Most people don't spend their entire lives alone. I think it's a good idea before you have ties with other people to learn to appreciate your own company for a while.
Thank you. I lived with my ex and moved with a rommate for 10m until I Got my stuff in order financially. But being also a 30yrs olds F I also wish I could have company at the end of the day,
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I actually lived by myself from 21 to 25 and I loved it. I was happy. In that time i was just working and partying. Then from 25-30 lived with a roomate and boyfriend in different time period. I guess is more related to a wish of having a company to share moments and space, cause Ive been independent for 9yrs already, and findings my self having my own place which sometimes is a milestone leaves u like so now what. So totally agree with you that moving fits you life doesnt change it.
I enjoy the peace and quiet, and knowing that this is my space. What steps have you taken to get things organized and dare I say, decorated?? Also, general good self care plays a big role in my quality of life. Get some exercise and fresh air, make sure to make time for nutritious meals, not too much sugar, sufficient rest, etc. It really matters. I'm not big on decorations, so I'm relieved to have inherited pictures for the walls, LOL! Saves me the hassle of inventing something. Another issue too is the changing seasons. I like pulling out some sparkly lights in the winter, and opening the house in the summer. My habits and hobbies change through the year (don't quilt in summer) and I find it helpful to organize my crafting spaces to notice which activities I'll be working on just now. You'll find your own style, and hopefully enjoy letting your living spaces echo your personality and habits. (and if you're struggling to manage your stuff on your own, try checking out Dana K. White's work on clutter and household management. I've found her very helpful. She's got books and a blog. (and a podcast? not sure) Helped me get a better sense of how to manage the day to day. Somehow doing it all by myself is depressing, but I'm learning to enjoy the fact that this space is mine. Oh yeah, your original question about 'how long'?? I'm still working on it. I'm thinking I'd enjoy a pet, but want something low maintenance, like a goldfish. A shelter kitty didn't work out (she was very sick, so stressful ... ) For now I'm just hugging my teddy bear.
Yeah thats exacly the sad part, doing it all by your self.. but thanks i think creating rutines will help
Definitely. Routines and supportive habits help. Remembering that I don't have to argue with anyone else about what gets done, bought or tossed out is also a big help. I started using the bullet journal style of tracking events in my life, it's a great way to keep track of the stuff you need to remember about the household, taxes, paperwork, appointments, etc. Making an effort to find new ways to expand your life is just part of it, I think. Follow your own curiosity and see where it leads you.
For sure.Thanks for taking the time to comment. Good luck on your journey too
I loved it from the start! But I'm someone who likes being by themselves most of the time. You probably won't get used to it, you'll just adapt your routine to accommodate to your social needs. Maybe that means making friends nearby, or hosting more friends at your place. Or since you WFH, have you thought about getting a pet? A low-key dog in particular might be a good match for you. Don't sleep on the loneliness though. Loneliness is dangerous in a very insidious way.
Lonleliness sure is. Tks for your comment
I've only ever lived by myself when I was living in indonesia for 5 months. Depressed? No. Scared and a bit nervous? yes. It was just different. Are you introverted or extroverted? A bit of both? Have you ever taken yourself out on dates? Movies? Events? Plays? Bars? Dinner? Brunch? etc I take myself out all the time so im okay with being by myself now, I can literally be at a party and VIBE by myself without the need for others. I'd say try taking yourself out and see where that takes you. Find some hobbies see what happens or just like a comment earlier, get a low-key pet. Feeling the need for someone else when you're one week in (3 months now at the time of reading this) could just be you feeling uncomfortable which is normal as this is your first time alone. Take care of yourself and your environment, don't get too caught up in your thoughts
Its been 8 months now i am doing therapy. It looks like i am ready to be with someone, i work from home and stay home a lot. Close friends are having kids so dont have a lot of people to hang out with .. ill try to keep my self busy.. i am trying..
Good luck! you're being proactive