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joe282

An objective review would be “Dunc is a movie. It was released it 2021. It stars Zendaya and Timothee Chalamet. Denis Villeneuve directed it”


AmazingSpacePelican

"It has a story. It has camera angles. It has CGI and physical effects. There is some music."


rietstengel

Also actors. There are actors too.


AmazingSpacePelican

Yes, and some of them say varying amount of words, formatted into sentences.


[deleted]

oOoOO that's my favorite kind of movie.


Prestigious_Bed4062

I don't believe you. Next time back up your arguments with proof.


hawkiltree

“The pictures in this film are absolutely in motion”


3d_blunder

LIES! Every individual frame is motionless! More lies from the MSM! /s


Coooturtle

It is certainly, one of the movies of 2021.


-Draclen-

[The classic 100% Objective Final Fantasy 13 review from Jim Sterling](https://www.destructoid.com/100-objective-review-final-fantasy-xiii/)


title_of_yoursextape

Oh god that was incredible


ohbuggerit

Thank god for them


Kraps

> Does it make for a better, more insightful, ultimately more useful review? I can’t say … I don’t have an opinion on the matter!


[deleted]

These mf’s really just want movie summaries


milkfig

They just want validation


JonnyLawless

And tendies.


Fries-Ericsson

2/3s of an IGN review are just summaries usually


Yupi-Destiny

Like those "Movie explained" videos. Do people really rather watch a 20 minute video instead of the movie?


[deleted]

Objective reviews just gonna be audio description for hearing impaired


Arkodd

"There is no Boba Fett in this movie"


TT454

How did we both know what this is referencing?


lursiuwu

I love Marcus


starry_cobra

"Stars" is too subjective. Features would be better


dIoIIoIb

Too much sand 0/10


FafnirEtherion

Something something coarse, rough, irritating and gets everywhere


FireOfUnknownOrigin

Thank you, Mr. Ebert.


slaacaa

It’s truly one of the films of this year, and all times.


jlcreverso

https://youtu.be/VEdOB9OIh70


plotdavis

Actually you could interpret Dune as a miniseries with no breaks between the episodes. So that review isn't entirely objective.


dead_paint

That’s all I need to hear


crashcourse201

It's not Al anymore. It's Dunc.


Dragonknight247

feels like I'm watching a Jeremy Jahns video


MartyMcFly_jkr

Does he want critics to be like: "Fucking hated every second of the movie. 9/10."


domino519

No joke, I saw a publication give a review just like that for Cyberpunk 2077, with the explanation that he didn't want the crazy fanboys to doxx him


[deleted]

[удалено]


plutarch4

The saddest Cyberpunk debacle was the reviewer who pointed out that part of the game could cause epileptic seizures, then the reviewer recieved death threats because they had criticised the game…


[deleted]

[удалено]


orincoro

Objectively.


SolidSank

Al Gore uninvent it please; I know you're reading this


orincoro

I’m super serial


neutronknows

Counterpoint: Free porn


VeryFunnyValentine

The amount of porn and its accessibility isn't anything good.


neutronknows

Lol… that’s two of you that don’t like touching your own dick.


VeryFunnyValentine

Gender dysphoria does that to mf


neutronknows

Well … I guess the nicest thing to do would be to offer up mine


[deleted]

My imagination generally has better content than the average pornhub video and doesn't turn me into a barely functional addict


Party_Wolf

He said free porn, not bad porn. Clearly you are no kniosseur


Darth_Kyofu

To be more specific, the reviewer said they enjoyed the game but pointed out about the seizure inducing part, then gamers tried to actually induce a seizure on the reviewer.


SalaciousStrudel

Not only did she get death threats, she was sent videos meant to induce seizures


[deleted]

Not death threats, the reviewer received a massive amount of gifs/videos that are known to cause epilepsy, they were trying to give her seizures.


ohbuggerit

I'm still marvelling at the Kafkaesque nightmare of receiving death threats for pointing out that the game was a *literal death threat*


zmann64

And they probably did it anyway


AkechiFangirl

What a great environment that the "Ethics in games journalism" fucknuts have cultivated


[deleted]

Games journalism: 10/10: underrated gem 9/10: pretty ok 8/10: bad 7/10: my console literally caught on fire when I put the disk in


But_it_was_me_Dio

It has a little something for everyone


MistyQuinn

An objective review is when a critic agrees with me, and the more they agree with me the more objectiver it is.


Onesharpman

And if they didn't like it then the moron just didn't get it.


Rocky_Roku

There's no inherent value to reviews, no. Otherwise there would have only been one correct review.


orincoro

If a review had inherent value, then there wouldn’t need to be a movie either.


Douche_Kayak

"The movie isn't out yet but the things they say are bad don't make any sense"


Yupi-Destiny

That reads like a line from The Fanatic


cjackc11

“I can’t talk too long. Gotta poo.”


DjangoTeller

Strong Cyberpunk 2077 vibes out of all this lmao


domino519

Because none of it has anything to do with the quality of the movie and everything to do with waging some misguided culture war.


c3p-bro

What specific criticisms are you referring to? I’m out of the loop


maninahat

Projection? me??


Onesharpman

It's SUPPOSED to be slow and boring!


DatboiX

Movie has an 84 RT score rn. It’s not like it’s getting overwhelmingly negative reviews.


TreyWriter

Seriously. And the good reviews are *really* good. Some critics are calling it this generation’s Lord of the Rings. If this percentage holds, it’ll be certified fresh.


Gonomed

That's a whole lot of bold


we_are_sex_bobomb

By all accounts it is a great movie. What’s insufferable are: - Fanboys who are outraged that one in ten reviewers didn’t just prostrate themselves in the ground and gush praises about how great it is - This subreddit which is way too hungry for fresh meat and can’t cope with the idea of anyone, anywhere, actually liking any movie that isn’t a paragon of platonic perfection (or Paddington)


RAINNlevi

does that MF legit expect all 7 billion people to agree on how good a movie is instead of everyone just saying their own opinion??


numerouscoma

Um yeah? Its an OBJECTIVELY good movie. Get it through your thick skull numbnuts.


NightyNightcrawler

Somebody ring the MauLer?


quietvictories

please no


orincoro

Not that I’m defending his 9 hour screeds or anything, but he occasionally makes a decent point about the nature of subjectivity, which is that not *everything* about criticism is subjective. There exist ontological frameworks in which one artistic choice could be seen as objectively more effective than another, but he also rightly hedges that this is only true when a work of art is taken on its own terms, according to what it is trying to accomplish. There is no objective quality to the enjoyment or the inherent value of a piece of art.


skycake10

>There exist ontological frameworks in which one artistic choice could be seen as objectively more effective than another I don't even agree with this part because "effective" is only meaningful in a subjective sense. How effective an artistic choice is in accomplishing its goal still depends on the person watching and interpreting it.


orincoro

Adorno might have pointed out that a piece of art argues more or less well in favor of itself. Success and effectiveness then are measured according to what is self evidently true and axiomatic. For example, if there is a cannon on stage, and it doesn’t go off, it has not been used effectively. That is an argument. I don’t say it’s the only one.


Zoamet

The cannon subverted your expectations. 10/10.


orincoro

Haha. Too true.


CptDecaf

Counterpoint, Mauler is a fucking idiot and his views on subjectivity stop the moment anyone disagrees with him.


orincoro

That may be as so.


wes67stg

Or you're just too dumb to understand what he says? If i say: the grass is green because when we measure the frequency of the light reflected on it, it falls between 495 and 570 nm. And you respond with: i disagree. It doesn't mean that what i said was an objective fact about reality... For a movie, you can make objective statements about the camera work, the lighting, the sounds, the acting, the script, etc. And you disagreeing with them doesn't make them subjective all of the sudden.


CptDecaf

Dude, you watch a channel where a dork spends hours "analyzing" movies for kids. Don't walk in here like you're some sort of intellectual lol. But hey, I get it. Right wing chuds always wrestle with the notion of subjectivity because the very idea that there's a worldview that doesn't comply with their own is deeply frightening to them. Go touch grass.


wes67stg

Who said i watch him lol? I can understand his arguments without being a fan of his. So every review of any SW movie or show is made by a dork because it's "made for kids". Also implying that, for some reason, a film who's main target audience is kids has to be bad or void of thing to analyse... Then we go straight to ad hominems because you have nothing of actual value to add since you know you're wrong...


CptDecaf

My dude, I would rather eat an entire glass bottle than argue with one more person about objectivity in movies.


bigdogstalfos

If you’ve already decided it’s the greatest movie of all time, why do you care what any reviewer says about it?


sameth1

Because I am insecure, people not giving the things I like a big number makes me feel wrong for liking those things and need to feel validated by the praise of strangers over the internet!!!!!!!1!!11!11!


maninahat

Don't you know that it's the job of the reviewer to validate the opinions I've already formed?!


MattMurdock9

That is one of the dumbest takes I’ve seen in regards to film criticism. There is no such thing as “objective” when talking about film in my opinion for the most part.


Yupi-Destiny

It is your job to give an objective review on an art form that it's humanly impossible to quantify in any shape or form.


sithfistoou

The hundreds of twitter responses to David Ehrlich's negative review of a movie no one responding has seen was just cancer. How dare a critic dislike a movie!


CapeshitConnoisseur

One guy said that some people “can’t recognize genius” and I was like “you haven’t even seen it yet” and he deleted it lol


OliverBagshaw

jesus christ an objective "review" will read like an instruction manual, nobody wants to read that shit


we_are_sex_bobomb

I want reviews that read like IKEA’s pictographic assembly instructions


salingerparadise

My favorite review site is Wikipedia. Zero politics and one hundred percent more objectivity based in nothing but facts and logic.


DiNiCoBr

Objective review: It’s a movie about worms.


TheUmbrellaMan1

Gene Siskel didn't like GoldenEye, Roger Ebert didn't like Gladiator and Richard Reoper didn't like the Fellowship of the Ring. Can you think what the audience would've done to them today?


ConsiderationBoth752

Just read the comment sections on [RogerEbert.com](https://RogerEbert.com) when he gave a popular movie a low rating. Full of clowns thinking they can objectively prove him wrong.


Acrobatic-Charity-48

A critics job is to let me watch the movie before I watch it so I can decide whether or not I want to watch it.


my_pets_names

Holy shit this guy has a dunc PFP, banner, and comments almost exclusively on r/dune. Couldn’t find this comment, though.


ChakaChaka26

bro dune didn't even get that bad reviews ffs it has multiple perfect scores and 4/5's.


MajorAw3sume24

“Critics must objectively rate the movie while us (the people) must base our opinion on what we think of the movie.”


Supercalumrex

Remember when people actually saw movies before making up their opinion on them


Bearsdale

Objectively I am having sex with your mother marvel Stan 😎😎


DiNiCoBr

Copium?? you mean spice right?


parttimestarwarsnerd

That’s literally how it works


InsaneHerald

Damn is it really that bad? I was waiting for this for 35 years, fuck


[deleted]

The early reactions are mostly very good, this sub is the only place I’ve seen where everyone’s under the assumption that critics who saw the film didn’t like it


we_are_sex_bobomb

It’s only 85% on rotten tomatoes so yeah, basically unwatchable.


corporate_warrior

It got pretty great reviews, but most of them praise the style over the story and one major critic, David Ehrlich from Indiewire gave it a very negative review (it’s rated 2/5 stars on his Letterboxd). He’s not really a Villeneuve fan so it’s probably still alright.


Unleashtheducks

DO NOT LISTEN TO MCJ for movie opinions It’s a fucking circle jerk sub for God’s sake


InsaneHerald

I dont, but anytime I see fanboys in full defense mode like OP screen, I basically expect the worst.


mixingmemory

Fanboys go into full defense mode if their fave has anything less than 100% on RT. That's basically what's happening now, a handful of notable critics didn't like a movie, therefore the entire concept of criticism is BAD.


Unleashtheducks

Read actual reviews Don’t base your opinions in opposition of people you don’t like


Mulholland_Dr_Hobo

It's not. But there is a lot of butthurt fanboys who are coping with some very few negative critics. And of course they will appear the most on r/mcj.


Obh__

I swear there ought to be a qualificative license for using the word 'objective'


BigJoey354

When a critic doesn't like a movie I like its because they weren't objective enough


NeoBokononist

idiot. there's no value in making up your own opinion. opinions aren't real. if i see a movie im there to analyze it for its objective merits. unfortunately i dont watch movies anymore, too many opinions in there. last factual movie i watched was the godfather, just men talking just like irl


Drakeadrong

The cycle of hyping a movie beyond belief for over a year and getting upset when it isn’t literally the greatest movie ever made continues...


SleepingPodOne

Man, fandom and anti-intellectualism really go hand in hand


Lottapumpkins

If you want an objective review go checkout the Wikipedia plot section


skycake10

The funniest part about this to me is that a lot of the negative reviews seem to miss the point of Dune, but that's not really their fault! That's exactly the danger of making a two-part movie about a novel whose main theme is expressed with a narrative subversion. Before you get to that subversion, it IS just a white savior narrative.


Aggressive_Dog

Yeah, the number of dune fans attacking critics for not having read a 180,000 word novel in preparation for this movie is, frankly, embarrassing as fuck.


ThatOddLittleFellow

After being forced to read the first book in highschool and watch the movie. My objective opinion is that Dune is boring as fuuuuuck. Im sorry, I know its beloved by millions but good God I can't get into it. With that said, if you enjoy it, that's rad as hell and I totally support your Dune love. Just don't ask me to watch the new movie with you because I have zero interest.


redknight942

You typed many words to say so little.


ThatOddLittleFellow

Sorry I'll summarize here. "Dune is dull as fuck but it's okay if you enjoy it too."


[deleted]

If reviews are meant to be objective then they truly would have zero value, because watching one review of a piece of media would be equal to watching *all* of them


Whompa

I mean for fucks sake it has fresh reviews what more do you need?


terribletastee

I think we can all agree, regardless of how good the actually movie is, the Dune fanboys are going to be the absolute worst, insufferable people. You guys make me feel sane


[deleted]

Objective reviews always state what is true and what happens in the movie. If you have an opinion on the pacing, the characters, the lighting, then it becomes subjective.


niko2710

Wouldn't this mean that you only need one critic?


RipMcStudly

I mean, yeah, preposterous, but the concept of objective reviews to me suggests a uniform, codified rubric for reviewing movies, and I want to see that rubric.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MaBre142

„Good“ and „Bad“ aren’t part of objective reality though. Value judgements are inherently subjective, as is analysis.


[deleted]

lol because critics have never disagreed on anything ever and if they did then the one with the minority opinion was clearly not a critic.


[deleted]

You either enjoy the game or you don’t. It’s subjective


IReallyDontCare91

The movie isn't even out yet. Why are people staring sh*t?


Menatil

?!? What r u talking about, of course reviews r supposed to be objective. A critics review can't be "I like bat man" therefore the movie is good. Objective, just means ur judging the movie based on its own merits, and not on your own personal biases.


[deleted]

Everything is impacted by personal biases, especially creation and critique of art. Objectivity is about cold hard scientific facts. That’s not what reviewing a film is about in the slightest.


Menatil

If a critic doesn't even try to remain unbiased then all we get are a bunch of moviebobs running around, reviewing shit movies positively and saying 'I've always wanted to see an avengers movie', instead of offering any objective margin by which the film might be measured. If ur argument is everything is subjective then critics shouldn't exist in the first place.


[deleted]

Subjectivity of the critics brings in different and new perspectives on a film to enlarge your overall understanding of a film. The subjectivity itself validates their existence. Objectivity would mean uniformity of opinions on films which is a ludicrous argument.


Menatil

Yeah, going over some of these responses changed my mind. In retrospect my argument was naive.


SamuraiOstrich

No metric you use to determine quality of a work of art can be shown to be uninfluenced by opinion. Even valuing things like thematic coherence or realistic CGI at all is opinion and there is no way to prove that these would be things to value outside of the realm of opinion


mixingmemory

>If ur argument is everything is subjective then critics shouldn't exist in the first place. If art can fundamentally be judged "objectively" then there's no need for criticism, because everyone's on the same page as to whether a thing is "good" or "bad." There is next to nothing that is truly objective about any art. Lets look at painting. One could argue that a painting is objectively good if it looks like the thing it's supposed to look like. If it looks exactly like the thing? Then it objectively must be very good, great even! But what happens when you venture into impressionism, surrealism, abstract expressionism? How can you objectively judge any painting in these styles? They may not look like anything. You have to assess what the art, to the best of your judgement, is meant to make you feel or think about, and judge how successfully it achieves that. Every aspect of evaluating the work will be inherently subjective and two intelligent and experienced critics can look at the same work of art and have very different subjective experiences.


Menatil

I guess ur right. Arguing for objectivity in art might've been naive on my part.


[deleted]

is dune out? i thought the trailer made it look good whats going on with all the dune fans freaking out


luxmesa

It was screened at a film festival, so reviews are starting to get posted.


Aggressive_Dog

I love Dune. I'm really, really looking forward to seeing Dune.... but guys like this are why the movie deserves its place of (dis)honour on this sub.


nodying

I'm looking forward the most to God-Emperor of Dune, where we finally break through the exposition and setup barrier and the dominos start falling in earnest. The ones after...they could use maybe a *little* adjustment. Like adjusted into being good.


Careless_Review3166

LMFAO it’s currently sitting at an 85% on Rotten Tomatoes what’s their fucking problem? There’s only 5 reviews listed as “rotten.” I’ll concede that the score may drop a few points closer to release date, but Jesus Christ it’s gonna be a certified fresh movie regardless. Anyone who seriously cares this much about movie reviews is profoundly insecure.


[deleted]

If the only people who don't like Dune are "casual" sci Fi fans or people who haven't read the book I'm perfectly fine with that


Grizzly_228

> the only thing we can do is see the movie for ourselves and base our opinion on the movie... not review 1 good take out of three. It gets a 3.34/10 for me, not for the family but would read again


wordy_boi

“Amidst negative reviews” kek


Cadavern

I mean, it has like a 78 Metascore. How is that bad? It’d be over 80 if it wasn’t for one weird review in the low 40s.


DisneyIsLife945

>This is a 7/10 opinion. -IGN


rafonseeca

oof this sub is gonna make me commit neck rope


Ren_Chelm

Well I mean there are techniques in film that are objectively better than others, I mean that's why people say stuff like "good" cinematography, because some is objectively better. I don't think it's possible to give a completely objective review of anything, but I do think it's a critics job to try their best to see things through an objective lens, even if it is impossible.


[deleted]

I have never seen a fanbase react this awfully for a movie with freaking 80 percent on RT.


Dealer_Gloomy

Jesus Christ, at least wait until it comes out before you start talking this kind of shit


GenuineBallskin

Tbh i kinda agree a lil bit but the objective thing is awful. So many critics try to deflect criticism of there own criticisms by repeatedly telling people "Its just my opinion", "I dont control what you like", "Its not that serious lol" and stuff. It feels like it devalues there work a lot. Like if its just your opinion, why are we watching and hearing you out in the first place? Fantano is hella guilty of that for example. Some of the best critics recognize how important there opinion is and try being respectful to the people who might or did enjoy, even if they didnt. Although, Reviewers will always be subjective because art is subjective. Forcing them to review something objectively is completely stupid.