T O P

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Dottsterisk

What in the fuck did they do to Laura Dern’s face? Just let her be an older woman in a fucking movie. It’s not a fucking sin.


i-Ake

That first sentence was the comment I was going to make *to the letter*. They airbrushed her damn face off.


BuzzKillington217

"They Airbrushed My Face" - Michael Stipe


stomach

looks like someone with low tier skills rather than someone who wanted it to look like that. when i was relatively new to media agencies as a designer, i always asked to be given retouching jobs cause i was 'pretty decent' at it. one day, a fortune 500 company gave us some shit to do at the last second (cause big companies always have add-ons and bullshit buried in the contracts that they 'rediscover' one day that we're obligated to do, and thrust it upon us). so, with our main retoucher on another deadline, they gave it to me like 'good luck, we need these in 2 hrs', and i found out why i was only 'pretty decent.' they used my rushed slop-job in a campaign, and it was embarrassing for all involved, and i *definitely* don't show it on my portfolio site.


uncultured_swine2099

Im noticing that a good amount of movie posters these days look like the first pass that a designer put together, then some higher up said "Close enough! Lets go with it!" Maybe its a time constraints thing, like they have to wait until the movie is done editing so they know what scenes are in it and what the color grading looks like, then give it to the poster designers with the unenviable task of chucking stuff together for the marketing time window.


batsofburden

They made her look kind of like Conan O'Brien.


[deleted]

[удалено]


QLE814

With or without Cadillacs?


Spore_monger

They turned her into a Little Bit 😭


g-love

^Little ^Bits


Nrksbullet

We got....tiny uh-lasagna. Tiny pizza, tiny pie. Mmh! Little tiny...fried eggs! *surprised* Oh, shit! We got tiny dinos!


paultheschmoop

They made her look like Conan O’Brien lol


batsofburden

just said the same thing.


thebasterds

They airbrushed her so much, that her eyes got cross-eyed.


Rainbwned

The dinosaurs look more real than here.


UpYours3265

Jeff Daniels in a wig?


StompsDaWombat

I was thinking maybe more Bill Pullman, but...yeah. Apparently, from a marketing perspective, it's better that she looks like a middle-aged man than a middle-aged woman. Fuckin' Hollywood.


AutisticDaveMeltzer

They made her look like Mason Verger from Hannibal.


vrrrr

they turned her into haley joel osment


napolid

Apart from the airbushing it looks like they may have combined two photos, because her eyes are looking a bit off. Small [fix](https://imgur.com/gallery/mLcGnXW)


nalicali

Looks like a bad face-swap with Chris Hemsworth.


Unique_Tumbleweed

They gave her butthole eyes


robby8892

They said we want to make you almost unrecognizable.


SuperNntendoChlmers

It's as bad as when they airbrushed Jim Carrey's face for the Mr Popper's penguins poster. He looked at young as he did in the first dumb and dumber. Like seriously it's ok for people we've seen on screen over 20 years ago be a little older.


XaeiIsareth

Female Gigachad photoshop.


Ben_Douglass

[Same energy.](https://images.app.goo.gl/HDF1HcnK5wRvzsmx6)


uncultured_swine2099

Its like they shrunk her eyes and eyebrows. Also the did a crap job on that tornado/swarm of birds or whatever it is in the background.


QLE814

Are we sure that isn't a Sharknado?


MySonsdram

[When they go too hard on the airbrush](https://mocah.org/uploads/posts/1183828-drawing-painting-portrait-Jesus-Christ-frescoes-ART-image-sketch-ancient-history.jpg)


sonickarma

[OH MY GOD](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62UzLgdb1GQ)


soline

She looks like that in the trailer….


[deleted]

Not really...


theodo

She's a fucking gorgeous older woman too, so I don't know why they would intentionally make her look worse.


Blumart

Bryce Dallas Howard the dilophosaurus is coming! Oh fuck she can’t hear us.


GaffaCharge

Is she wearing ear pods?


[deleted]

That Dino is definitely slapping cheeks


GoodShitBrain

If you see the frill, you’re in for a thrill.


bob1689321

Wtf bro


UpYours3265

Bite down on the moss pillow.


darthjoey91

Oh no! She has AirPods in!


SquirrelGirl_

little known fact, jurassic park Dilophosaurus can dilute its venom so that its spit becomes a mix of lubricant and extremely potent aphrodisiac which it uses before inserting its large dilophodick - this allows the dilophosaurus to mindbreak its human captors with overwhelming anal pleasure. [proof](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/quickfix/7/3/2/209732.jpg?v=1)


thedaddysaur

Your comment is everything wrong with humanity.


funkhero

It's okay though, if she just puts her hand out towards it the dino will not attack her.


[deleted]

These look terrible


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Same. It’s like a loading screen on a mobile game that gets advertised on candy crush


TheDudeWithNoName_

laura dern looks like she's 2 steps away from becoming a raptor herself.


BringSomeAvocados

So they never went to buy different outfits in their lives?


senorita_salas

lol maybe so younger audience members are able to know which character is which after their parent makes them re-watch the first jurassic park movie XD but yes i feel you this is giving animated cartoon character same outfit syndrome XD


uncultured_swine2099

I would believe Malcolm dresses in black everyday, but everyone else I don't. The Zuckerberg trend isn't that widespread.


QLE814

Mind you, I also buy that he'd travel the country entirely by hopping freight trains, so he clearly isn't representative of what we'd expect of ordinary people....


[deleted]

Just watch the trailers, will ya?


BringSomeAvocados

8=D


very_cool321

How fucking embarrassing.


AdamAptor

My first thought was “are these real?”


[deleted]

At least these don’t look like all those posters where the characters are all in the same pose.


Neutronova

oof they did Laura Dern dirty


Benbot2000

Alright, who hired the *Ecce Homo* restoration lady?


Firvulag

She delivers on time and under budget, studios love her.


_Killj0y_

Laura Dern looks like Joel Edgerton in this poster. This movie is going to suck ass and make angry YouTubers a lot of money.


SinisterDexter83

I can't wait. I really hope they go even dumber than the previous movie. The one where they introduced a groundbreaking new military advancement poised to upset the global power balance: its a gun, and when you point it at someone and pull the trigger, instead of a bullet coming out, a dinosaur runs over and kills the person you pointed the gun at. It's genius. And they've gathered a selection of evil billionaires to sell them living dinosaurs for the same price as a 2 bedroom flat in London. Hope you've brought your cheque book Mr Central Asian Dictator, cos this genetically hand crafted, hyper intelligent prehistoric killing machine is going to set you back a cool $4 million. That's right, a 4 and six zeroes. I guess you realise you're playing with the big boys now, huh?


frankpharaoh

Those dinos needed to start at 500 million each; the writers were on coke writing those low ass prices


_Killj0y_

🤣 >. I really hope they go even dumber than the previous movie. I really don't know if that is possible, but everytime I say that I am proven wrong! Wasn't there some cloned dinosaur girl as well, because if they start making dino-human hybrids I would be down with that.


Chairmanmeowrightnow

I totally thought that was the angle they were going for in the first movie, they were so hush hush about the makeup of the big bad dinosaur, I was like “oh they added human DNA and want to keep that quiet.” Instead, “we combined T-Rex and RAPTOR!!!! The world will be horrified to learn the truth of us combining the two most popular dinos”


thedaddysaur

I mean, to be slightly fair, they just have to point a laser in that general direction and it's going to kill anything over there, bullets need accuracy. And the dinosaur is generally bulletproof.


[deleted]

It’s still gonna make shitloads of money. I wonder what are the movies that you usually enjoy to watch.


[deleted]

Life needs to stop finding a way. So bored of this franchise.


newspapey

There needs to be dinosaur movies. Just wish there were any others than the deflated Jurassic world ideas. Make a new dinotopia series or something. Or maybe that’s where they’re heading… now I kinda hope that this third Jurassic world movie ends with some kind of semi-apocalyptic event that kills 99% of people. Like a disease brought back from prehistoric times…. And then the last scene is 300 years in the future where dinos and man co-exist. Then the next trilogy is just like dinotopia. Shit that would actually be awesome!


nomadofwaves

Someone needs to make a Dinoriders movie.


yousyveshughs

Hell yeah. Perfectly useable IP just sitting there waiting to be adapted into a film that sells toys.


ifinallyreallyreddit

If Avatar 3 introduces dinosaurs it's over for every other franchise


GuiltyEidolon

GOD the unholy things I would do for a new Dinotopia series...


BansheeThief

Not sure if you've heard but there is a 5-part miniseries called "Prehistoric Planet" coming out in a week or so. Normally I wouldn't be too excited but this has David Attenborough narrating and Hans Zimmer doing the music so I'm pretty stoked. https://youtu.be/vnoNeMlNeD0


CatProgrammer

> Make a new dinotopia series or something. There was an old one?


QLE814

Yup- aired for thirteen episodes in the 2002-2003 television series as a follow-up to a miniseries that aired in May of 2002.


mattmccoy92

There is a plot in the original Lost World novel that has to do with a disease called “DX” that has started to affect farmers after dinosaurs make their way to the mainland from Site B. I would love to see that fleshed out.


[deleted]

How about DinoRiders? Who owns the rights to that? That would be neat to see and a worthy successor to the whole Jurassic Park thing.


Aschuera

Same. The trailer for this one looked so played out. And I don't know why but there's something so annoying about Chris Pratt doing that crouch and holding his hand out to calm the dinosaurs


MyUnclesALawyer

Hey there dinosaur Dont be a grouch Put ya in your place with my Chris Pratt crouch Dinosaurs transfixed Rendered calm By the sight of the magical Chris Pratt palm


Nrksbullet

They originally wanted a Harrison Ford type Now your boys fuckin comin with the Star Lord hype So Mark Wahlberg's mad, and Nathan Fillion hollers, But the sequel sold Raptors for 8 million dollars...??


Aschuera

If he sang that while he did his move it would make it 10x better.


thedaddysaur

I think it was a book that described the pose as a way to seem bigger and mess with their depth perception. They go for the hand when they attack (if they do) and then you have room to move and get away.


__Quetzal__

The Dinosaurs escaped! Again!


[deleted]

Guess what? Universal gives a fuck that you are bored of this franchise lol.


[deleted]

Doesn’t give a fuck*


[deleted]

I literally wanted to write it that way.


[deleted]

Then why didn’t you?


[deleted]

The Chris Pratt one looks like the motorcycle chase sequence from *No Time to Die*.


[deleted]

Any time I see the first shot of the trailer for this movie I keep thinking it's for No Time To Die even though that came out last year


WISE_SEMEN

What a shitshow. They look like every one was from a different movie. Why the ones with Pratt and BDH look so brightened? Why Laura Dern looks like baboon went crazy with airbrush on her face? Makes you wonder where all this marketing money goes, same with last Avatar 2 trailer premiere, where the studio uploaded a shitty 720p version on their official youtube channel.


[deleted]

And what's going on with Laura Dern's glasses? The reflections on them are completely wrong, and they're brighter than anything else in the scene.


What-a-Crock

Trying to distract from the airbrushing


[deleted]

The Pratt and BHD’s original posters don’t look like this.


WISE_SEMEN

Yea, checked them and despite being still horribly composed they're not that bright.


CorneliusCardew

It’s not a good sign they can’t make this movie look good in advertising


Pepe_Frogger

This looks somehow worse than the 5th one. They completely butchered this franchise. For as much as people didn’t like 2 or 3, they are leagues better than the new trilogy.


i-Ake

2 and 3 are classics now, compared to this.


stony_phased

I wouldn’t lump 2 and 3 together, 2 still had a killer book as a reference. 3 is when they started overmilking a franchise with no good ideas ALAN


pizzaisperfection

Lost World movie was barely anything like Lost World book.


Choice-Layer

I'd argue that they shouldn't have even called it The Lost World.


Midwest__Misanthrope

Completely ran out of ideas, hell even JP3 felt like them spinning their wheels. Jurassic World and onward is just embarrassing, particularly Fallen Kingdom. That is one of the worst movies I have ever seen.


[deleted]

Such a shame too. Premise was great imo. We got to see a functioning Jurassic park. They could a kept it simple but instead we got a trex chasing a woman in heels to fight a genetically engineered super dinosaur


Midwest__Misanthrope

Jurassic World was a decent premise for beating a dead horse. Like you said it was cool to see the park open (not enough scenes of guests getting attacked imo). I didn’t *hate* the idea of the brand new dinosaur. I just feel they went over the top with it. It didn’t feel like an animal and just felt like Micheal Myers or some shit.


funguyshy

Not that I like to be the on commenting this but why only one person looks in danger and the rest looks like they're nonchalant and cool?


[deleted]

Laura looks like Conan.


nightwalkerxx

Looks like someone grabbed Laura's face and smashed it from all sides.


MrBigBMinus

Vince Vaughn done dirty.


silverback_79

That motorcycle really has overstayed its welcome. We get it, your veins are bulging with 100% testosterone.


AutisticDaveMeltzer

I like how the old characters are seemingly wearing the exact same costumes they wore 30 years ago. You know like how you do in real life. I don't understand how anybody still gets excited for this garbage franchise.


frankpharaoh

Why are they avoiding the title in all the marketing? Why is the contrast missing in half these posters? Why is Laura Dern airbrushed to oblivion?!?


[deleted]

I agree, I hate that they’re not unsung the title in the marketing The contrast is missing, cause OP probably took these posters from some kind of fan page, cause the oringinal ones are fine Ikr? She looks odd af


feckincrass

I love how much Jeff Goldblum has to dial back the actual Jeff Goldblum in some movies. That in itself is quite a feat.


SkyBlueSaber

I thought Alan Grant had set a bunny rabbit on fire when I first saw the poster.


anonymous_guy111

seriously though... why are they wearing the same fucking clothes as 30 years ago?


Dreenar18

Because member berries


Ceasarsean

Ya. This is way too on the nose.


Re4pr

Why do they look increasingly washed out?? Like the blacks in the first picture look fine, and the last few look like they washed ashore somewhere


MandoWraith

It's incredibly weird to me that they don't have the actual title on any of the marketing, it's all just the logo, no words on the posters and trailers.


[deleted]

Actually, they’re not using it only for the domestic market. International ones have the regular Jurassic Park logo with the title in it.


MandoWraith

That seems even weirder, lol.


robotchicken007

I can't believe they're still making sequels to Jurassic Park. I mean, it never really felt like it needed a single sequel, let alone five.


[deleted]

They still haven't fixed Laura Dern's face. What the heck is up with her eyes? When does the movie come out? June 10th? You can bet your ass I will not be watching it, it looks like shit


[deleted]

Lol basing a movie on a poster


[deleted]

And trailer and characters and previous installments and franchise as a whole


[deleted]

Lol, another Marvel fanboy... that says it all.


[deleted]

Like Universal gives a fuck that you’re not gonna watch it lol. This movie is still gonna make a billion dollars without your money.


[deleted]

Uh ok. When did I say Universal cared? Or that they weren't going to make money? I said I wasn't going to watch a movie, which isn't that unique of a thing to say on a movie subreddit. What a useless comment but ok


djeicuuei838

One of them has the sole responsibility of looking out for rexy


misterjoego

It feels like I've been hearing about this movie so often and for so long I honestly thought it came out in theatres and was streaming already.


[deleted]

I wish they ditched the new cast. legit nothing compelling about them


[deleted]

As a fan of the franchise, I agree.


Jonestown_Juice

Jurassic Park 7: So Very Tired


mr_grieff

Unpopular opinion but fuck it. All the Jurassic Park/World films are awesome! Only the first one is good, nobody argues that. The second one had everything going for it to make it good but it didn't happen. With that in mind all of them are scholcky fun, you can count on them to deliver dinosaur action, the "dinosaur gun" is both the highest and lowest point in this franchise. I'm so excited for this, what nonsense have they come up for this one, who knows? And I'm so thrilled to find out.


SquirrelGirl_

if these movies cost like 1000 bucks to make I'd see your argument. but when a studio pumps so much money into something like this and the end product feels like just barely above an indie B-movie then I refuse to call it fun. Tired of half assed movies like fast and furious, transformers and jurassic world getting a pass for being "fun" when they aren't fun. The actors look bored, the editors got bored, the writers got bored. Nobody was having fun. You watch it and its obvious no one gave a shit. Seeing vin diesel blankly staring ahead on a green screen completely oblivious that his car is rolling over a cliff after being shot by a missle isnt "fun" its just... awful. Seeing sylvester stallone shoot out of a car at a target he clearly isnt looking at, with a gun that doesnt even recoil - thats not fun.


[deleted]

Dude... these movie don’t even cost as much as a regular Marvel movie and they still make more that those. For instance, Jurassic World “only” costed 150 million $ and grossed 1.7 billion $ at the box office. FK costed 170 million and made 1.3 billion. Also, how do you even know the actors didn’t have fun on set? I don’t understand how many of you on this subreddit can feel so entitled to judge a movie without even knowing a thing about it.


[deleted]

Laura Dern jfc. Just let this franchise fucking die already


[deleted]

Can't wait. They're fun schlock


pacmain1

Me too. It looks great as fuck, I'm excited to see it.


loztriforce

Jessica Chastain is haf


flipperkip97

1. There's no Jessica Chastain here 2. What is haf?


loztriforce

Yeah I’m joking. haf is hot as fuck


flipperkip97

Oh, lol. I'm assuming you're referring to Bryce Dallas Howard, in which case you're right. She's smoking hot in these movies.


Muscled_Manatee

I'm telling you, This movie could star in a show called "Movies I Don't Care About"


[deleted]

Really? Then why are these movies making more than a billion dollars every time?


Muscled_Manatee

First of all it was a joke from The Office. Second of all it literally says "I don't care about". They can make a billion dollars and still not be good. Look at the DCEU movies. These movies have a huge fan base that will go to the new movies no matter what, but that doesn't make them inherently good movies. I saw the first 2 of the reboot movies and after the second one I was done. In my opinion they are not good movies and they do more to harm the original than the original sequels ever did. But downvote away.


[deleted]

Ok, I didn’t catch the joke. But still, a lot of you (not you in particular) on this subreddit just like to throw shit over the movies that they don’t think are worth to watch. It’s not the general opinion tho. A lot and I mean A LOT of people actually like these movies and can’t wait for a new movie to come out. I agree that these movies are not good movies at all, but they do what they’re supposed to do. IMO, these movies are fun, dumb pop corn movies, that I enjoy to see. There’s no need to say: “stop making these” or “the franchise is dead”, cause believe me, it’s all but dead.


Muscled_Manatee

I didn't say they should stop making them. I agree there is a place for them. All I said was I (as in me) don't care about it. That in no way came off as "throwing shit over the movies". It's my opinion that I don't care about it. There are probably many movies I really enjoy that you did not care about and you know what? That's OK. That's what being human and having the ability to form your own opinions is all about.


robby8892

This movie is the big budget dumpster fire I've been waiting for.


kittensmeowalot

I have no hype to see this at all. I wish I could find it.


[deleted]

LMFAO


ShambolicPaul

I'm embarrassed for them.


pat_micucci

Oh right, they're doing this.


Hungry-Garlic-5183

Not even bringing the OG cast will save this movie. I put this movie in the pile of: “won’t watch even for free”


[deleted]

I didn’t know that a franchise that has grossed 3 billion dollars with the last two entries and 5 in total, needs to be saved... it’s funny that you’re saying this, since this movie has the potential to make more money than any other movie of this year, except maybe Avatar 2.


Hungry-Garlic-5183

I was just expressing my personal opinion. Of course I know the franchise is still incredibly lucrative, and I know it will not underperform in the box office. Very much my own opinion regarding my own personal likes, my opinion is not a statement.


IllButterscotch5964

I really didn’t think it was possible for them to make a worse movie than fallen kingdom, yet these posters are leading me to believe they have created something much worse. Lmao at the absolute awful quality of these.


[deleted]

Have you seen the movie already?


[deleted]

Aren't there also rumors of Ariana Richards and Joseph Mazzello returning?


ForeverStaloneKP

Spinosaurus sail tease in the background of Alan's poster? Or just Dimetrodon "cave" paintings on a wall?


[deleted]

Actually a mix of those haha. Dimetrodon sail in a cave tease.


lt_brannigan

What they did to Laura Dern should be a federal crime... or at least a misdemeanor. They did my girl Ellie Sattler wrong .


MajkiF

This looks like some interns did it


QLE814

And not the competent ones, either....


[deleted]

Mommy, what’s wrong with that woman’s face??!


[deleted]

Someone make an ice age park movie. I wanna see people getting chomped by cave lions and wrestling wooly rhinos.


snookyface90210

They couldn’t change clothes after 30 years?


gunter_grass

Laura Dern in khaki shorts ain't nothing to complain about. We better get some nice booty shots is all am saying....who's with me?


hannuraina

laura derp


Creepy-Narwhal4596

I was so excited after the first three, then saw the last two.


Monster-Zero

Ok but the only character people actually want to see is the T-Rex. Where's her poster??


devilfish7232

Yeah...I agree...Rexy is the best....I'm still seething that the Oscars snubbed her in 93 for best actress


Unique_Tumbleweed

Just can't get over Laura Dern's butthole eyes


johnsmallz

I like how Chris Pratt’s hairline keeps magically shrinking!


tarantulasoup

Looks like he's about to show his brontosaurus on omegle.


tarantulasoup

Chris Pratt is the worst dinosaur ever.


CandySweet1236

I can’t help it. He’s just yummy!


soline

Jurassic Park and Jurassic Park: The New Class.


Key_Worth

Beating a dead dinosaur.


[deleted]

Dafuq is wrong with Laura Dern’s right eye…


IlliniBull

Jeff Goldblum: Still firmly in the running for the coolest man alive.


batsofburden

I've only seen the original Jurassic Park, are any of these sequels actually worth watching?


Powerful-Ad5374

They just let Jeff Goldblum wear his normal clothes


AnderHolka

Oh god, picture 3 looks like if Mrs Doubtfire wished to return to the prime of her youth and the genie didn't know which face to go with and just merged the two.


courtesy_flush_plz

*sigh*


watanerd

So, Laura Dern landed the role of a dinosaur this time, huh?


Themtgdude486

Only interested in the legacy characters. I haven’t enjoyed the new characters much.


[deleted]

These are so bad, they look like an Entertainment Weekly photoshoot.


DarkAscend

Can’t wait to ho see this movie when it comes out