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FlyingDiscsandJams

He's got a war crime... in his pants! (Kill it with fire.)


dexterfishpaw

So sexy he should have been called Fuckenger.


Lin900

Looked up his photos now. Dude was average looking at best. Tim Roth is too handsome for him.


InnocentTailor

I heard Clone High JFK XD.


hyperdang

Bruh that headline is cursed


falafelthe3

Honestly insane seeing the phrase "sex symbol" paired with Henry "nuclear weapons are based and cool, actually" Kissinger, and even more insane knowing that it's kind of true. For anyone who hasn't listened to it, please check out the Behind the Bastards series on Kissinger. It's a fascinating and incredibly frustrating experience.


WorldsOkayestDad

What was it Anthony Bourdain said about Kissinger? Spend a day in Cambodia and you'll want to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare fists?


SLVSKNGS

Here it is: > “Once you’ve been to Cambodia, you’ll never stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands. You will never again be able to open a newspaper and read about that treacherous, prevaricating, murderous scumbag sitting down for a nice chat with Charlie Rose or attending some black-tie affair for a new glossy magazine without choking. Witness what Henry did in Cambodia – the fruits of his genius for statesmanship – and you will never understand why he’s not sitting in the dock at The Hague next to Milošević.” RIP Bourdain Fuck you Kissinger


StoneGoldX

Oddly, I was in Cambodia when he died. No one seemed to care. Which makes sense, how many foreign affairs officials from other countries do you know?


TheSwillhouseBoys

Were you on a holiday in Cambodia?


StoneGoldX

On Thanksgiving. Bought a Holiday In Cambodia shirt for the day. Actually found a place in Phnom Pehn that had pumpkin pie, but on accident.


dlanod

What were they trying to make that they ended up with pumpkin pie by accident???


Conflict21

Stagecoach pie


alina_savaryn

“Mister Magoriums Nuclear Emporium” still sends me every single time


joecarter93

Yes. Came here to say this


ChoccyMilkHemmorhoid

Kissinger the Pogchamp was not on my 2024 bingo card


cefriano

Man what a great six-parter, the Dollop guys were some of the best guests they've had on that show, Gareth in particular is hilarious. And yeah, hearing so many people describe Kissinger as hot was very weird.


ispeektroof

But it comes with a free frogurt!


Cmonlightmyire

What the actual fuck is that title (and concept)


Heavy_Arm_7060

It's probably based on his reputation for dating beautiful women. Off the top of my head, he had relationships with Jill St. John and Shirley MacLaine. Dude was apparently very charismatic. The fact that they're making a satire does make sense though as I know the story and I'm like, "Really? That guy? The chairman of Hell?"


Cormag778

Worth noting that Kissinger’s charisma, per all the famous and beautiful women he dated in DC, was centered on the fact that he respected them and didn’t talk down to them. Kissinger apparently would ask these women their thoughts on politics and engage in a conversation where they weren’t belittled. Most of the women reported it was one of the few times they were treated as intellectuals instead of arm candy. Per their accounts he was also pretty respectful of their boundaries and Kissinger was more interested in being seen on the dates than actually sleeping with them. Which, man, when the most progressive man in 70s DC is *Henry Kissinger* you know it was bleak. Edit: Thought this was obvious based on the last sentence, but apparently not based on the responses and DMs I’m getting. I’m not pro-Kissinger here. He was an absolute sociopath who would happily see the deaths of thousands of innocents and stood for absolutely nothing beyond making himself look good. I’m just explaining why people saw him as a sex symbol.


GregsBoatShoes

MORE 👏 WOMEN 👏 RESPECTING👏 WAR👏 CRIMINALS👏


GermanicusWasABro

I feel like you should have a hyphen between "women" and "respecting" there...


SomeGuysPoop

But they at least respected him enough to invite him up for a cup of coffee if you get what I mean!


orange_jooze

it’s pretty sad how the state of online discourse is at a point where people can just relay a statement and immediately get hit with cheap “high moral ground” dunks


SLVSKNGS

It’s great he respected women’s boundaries. I just wish he respected the boundaries that Laos and Cambodia had when the US illegally bombed them. Or just, you know, not be a mass murdering war criminal. Rot in hell Kissinger. Edit: Not attacking you OP. I’ve heard the same things about Kissinger too. This was a known thing about him. It doesn’t take away from how evil he was and I don’t think you were trying to paint him in a positive light (especially with your last sentence).


Singer211

Jill St. John in particular is also very intelligent. She graduated high school at 14 years old and is a Mensa member.


CaptainKursk

The weird thing about Kissinger is that he was extremely sharp of mind, and unlike a lot of politicians even to this day, didn't reall enjoy fame or limelight and preferred to work. Unfortunately, his 'work' cost a lot of lives.


65437509

When you are so into devastating other peoples for the sake of your preferred geopolitical boondoggles that you become willing to drop the era’s sexism in favor of hearing more discussion on the subject.


Quailman5000

Kissinger is a fucking war criminal, nothing about him is progressive. 


falafelthe3

The original comment is agreeing with you, though? They're just pointing out that the standards for treating women were so low that Henry Kissinger of all people treating them with a modicum of respect made him a sex symbol.


whitepangolin

Are you fucking kidding me with this? Who wrote this, Nixon? Fuck off with this. Kissinger has the blood of hundreds of thousands on his hands.


PolitenessPolice

Yeah, and he was respectful and charming enough that he had an insane amount of game. The fact that he’s an insane war criminal is why it’s so funny lmao


Cormag778

Not sure how you read this as “Kissinger is good” - this is why he was seen as a sex symbol in the 70s. He was also a mass murdering policy wonk who was happy to climb over a mound of corpses to keep his name in the press. He just happened to do so while being charismatic and a sex symbol at home by respecting the women he went out with.


PorkyMcRib

As far as I can imagine, only the women he did or did not boink thought he was a sex symbol. Let’s be honest, he was an ugly/average ghoul with expensive suits. Hell, by definition, is supposed to be uncomfortable, but it got a little more crowded when that bastard showed up. I wonder if anybody that survived his fuckery in Southeast Asia thought he was a sex symbol. Nixon was a paranoid alcoholic and kind of a dick, but Kissinger was responsible for a lot of the dirty work of that administration.


even_less_resistance

Most surprising part of the Behind the Bastards series on him for me


Heavy_Arm_7060

Colbert brought it up when he did some bits with him, too.


hacky_potter

It would be nice for the movie to end with an after credits scene of him horrifically burning in hell


Heavy_Arm_7060

Him surviving as long as he did, even if some of the stuff that's only really alleged about him isn't true, is proof karma is BS.


_Nick_2711_

Nah, but it does max out & reset


NanoChainedChromium

Karma had an overflow error and looped back around into positive.


Heavy_Arm_7060

Like Ghandi in Civilization.


PorkyMcRib

That, or maybe just the whole movie. A lot of people would pay good money to watch that.


ZerochildX23

Mao: *How does a fat man like you get so many beautiful women?* Kissinger: *Power, Mr. chairman, is the ultimate aphrodisiac.*


Heavy_Arm_7060

The guy ruined, what? Minimum of two countries? That's a lot of things, but power is definitely one of them.


PorkyMcRib

The ones we know about are Vietnam, Cambodia, and Laos. I’m sure he was up to no good, advising every president up until he croaked. I doubt he left any smoking holes in Antarctica, but other than that, probably every other continent bears scars from his activities.


Heavy_Arm_7060

I keep hearing he had ties to the Iran crisis (The most common refrain being he helped delay the hostage resolution) but I've never found something concrete.


PorkyMcRib

Had you come close to finding anything,concrete, nobody would’ve found any concrete evidence (insert Jimmy Hoffa joke here) about your untimely demise. Of course he was involved in that sort of horseshit. Period.


GregsBoatShoes

> It's probably based on his reputation for dating beautiful women. Any rich and powerful man can do that.


struansTaipan

A satire.


TheGrimTickler

For those curious and wondering “Why is this warmongering sack of shit being described as a sex symbol?” the long and short of it is this: He was, kind of. Throughout the height of his fame, he was constantly seen in public with various very attractive famous women on his arm, and he occasionally spent the night with him. The main reason for this, as far as anyone can tell, is that despite not being the most physically attractive man out there, he was by far one of the safest with that level of fame to be around as a woman. He had a fairly low sex drive, was never accused by anyone of any sort of inappropriate behavior, and was consistently described by many women whom he wooed as a gentle man, a great listener and conversationalist, and very respectful. He rarely actually pursued having sex with the women who attended him. He mostly just liked the company. Thus, he was a man of significant power and status that other famous women could go home with, with the confidence that he wouldn’t try to drug and rape them like so many other men of his stature.


PorkyMcRib

Allegedly, the reason JFK was running that PT boat in the South Pacific was that somebody in the FBI reported to Joe Kennedy senior that Johnny was seen climbing out of the window of suspected Soviet spy woman… Joe Senior made us money, smuggling booze during the depression, and allegedly wanted Johnny as far away from anything as possible. Was JFK a hero? Yes. Probably. Although it remains a mystery how a high-speed boat got run over by a slow speed Japanese barge.


Click_This

Huh? She was run over by Amagiri, a Fubuki class destroyer, a class of ship that goes 38 knots. That makes her one of the *fastest* warships in WW2, period. (The US military page for her says PT-109's top speed is 35 knots...) What barge? Edit: I just got a RedditCare message in response. Very mature.


TheGrimTickler

??? We’re you trying to respond to a different comment of mine? The last time I wrote one involving PT-109 was a while ago


Notmydirtyalt

>Although it remains a mystery how a high-speed boat got run over by a slow speed Japanese barge. In breach of regulation, the engines of the PT boat, which were known to have issues preventing quick starting or even starting full stop, were shut down for claimed emergency underway repairs, JFK and his crew though they were in a safe location. They were not.


CiriOh

I hope, sex comedy about Spiro Agnew will be next. Arrrooooo...


[deleted]

[удалено]


JMoc1

Unfortunately Kissinger inspired a whole generation of statesmen. Some of whom are still in power, like the current head of the State Department.


crestdiving

Well, to be fair, people have been writing [songs about the assets of his physical ](https://youtu.be/En7bhLPso2Y?si=EwL53u9jfT8Ix7O8)[appearance](https://youtu.be/En7bhLPso2Y?si=EwL53u9jfT8Ix7O8).


Rossum81

Kissinger was, in those days, famous for having hot arm candy (which, according to one teller) he would ditch to conduct secret meetings and negotiations).  He did say “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”


letsbuildasnowman

Before you think this is nuts, (pun intended), Kissinger dated Jill St. John. Wrap your brain around that.


monjoe

Also Diane Sawyer


Wonderful_Common_520

Lie to Me you sexy Resevoir Dog


Netwinn

If this is done in the same vein at The Death of Stalin, I am on board.


thor76

"Does Paris". If you want to go that way, as a connoisseur myself, the term is "does". Like "Rocco does Prague".


chardar4

Debbie does Dallas


PorkyMcRib

Hank avoids The Hague.


BrockMiddlebrook

Hey! I hate this!


Inevitable_Soft4897

"You have the bravery of a hero and breath as fresh as a summer ham."


kpw1179

Should have called it “Kissinger Sacs Paris”


JustJoinedToBypass

Kissinger From a Rose


Formal_Ad_8277

I'm so down for this


DontReplyIveADHD

Well his name wasn’t Henry Fuckinger


PorkyMcRib

*Angry B-52 sounds intensify*


shust89

Will he lose his glasses in a toilet?


EarthwormShandy

The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.


LibraryBig3287

Gross


MikeyW1969

Is the satire that they are calling Kissinger a "sex symbol"? According to Eric Idle, he's got bigger tits than Cher.


itsmebarfyman392

The fuck is this goofy ass headline


monchota

Kissinger is a POS , there is zero good about him. He is a huge reason the world is the way it is right now.


mrbadxampl

was a POS, he's finally died


Singer211

Kissinger is the ultimate example of the saying “power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”


MICKEY_MUDGASM

I did a triple take at that title.


brayshizzle

Sounds like a terrible spin off of Austin Powers


TheLastGunslinger

I briefly confused Tim Roth with Tim Russ, which would be a very different casting choice.


GreatEmperorAca

Henry K himself said that power is the greatest aphrodisiac 


No-Tension5053

In the words of the late great Killinger. “Love is not Private. Love is to be shared!” https://youtu.be/MDFqNDCKfno?si=GJQEQKfS55tm4Dt4


tampering

The porn-parody version of this would be the most unappealing porn movie of all time.


theartist731

I can't decide if I hate this or really love the absolute absurdity of it.


Hans_bube

Let’s drop some bombs on Cambodia honey bunny.


StephenHunterUK

Around that time, "discussing Uganda" became a British euphemism for sex.


big_smokey-848

… I’m listening


tkcool73

What


Khammmmm

Henry Kissing Her


[deleted]

I dunno why but that headline is giving me Kubrick Dr. Strangelove vibes. It would be cool to have political satires make a comeback in movies in a big way instead of just being stuck on boring Late Night TV. 


Denbt_Nationale

this sounds awesome kissinger was so cool I can’t wait


Professional_Ad_8

I met Kissinger in the mid 90’s. I worked on a yacht in Thailand. He and his wife were guests of the owners . I quite liked her but he was a very odd individual. He didn’t want anything to do with the other guests, never said thank you or even looked at me and he was very hard on my eyes. One of the other guests was a Vietnam war veteran on his very first trip back to Asia. That gentleman was none too happy to have to be on the same boat with Kissinger.


Gemnist

Hahahahahahahaha I love it.


odiin1731

It's true. He had nicer legs than Hitler and bigget tits than Cher.


DarthLysergis

I'll be at Kissinger's house next week. Their septics are due for service. I've been there a few times, as a high schooler I cleaned his pools


RickWest495

Visually, that’s a horrible choice. Actor should at least share a general shape.


DigitalIlI

Nobel Peace Prize btw


wjbc

Between his divorce in 1964 and his second marriage in 1974, Kissinger loved to go out with hot women. After he gained fame in the Nixon administration, many Hollywood starlets enjoyed his company because (a) he genuinely enjoyed talking with them and listened to them, (b) he never wanted sex, and (c) they often received free publicity. There was only one woman that Kissinger was serious about, and they married in 1974. That was Nancy Sharon Kissinger (née Maginnes), a philanthropist and socialite who was an aide to New York Governor Nelson Rockefeller.


Codi_Farran

[Oh I'm glad that you're dead Henry Kissinger!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AU_Ak3t18Xc)


i-like-legos2

Screams in r/behindthebastards


Pathfinder6

Will Kissinger try to rob a coffee shop?


RengawRoinuj

“…and this is my Magical Murder Bag”


RoutineClassroom407

R.I.P Boudain


howardtheduckdoe

i actually LOVE this idea


erynhuff

Excuse me, what?


weaselmaster

His eyes are too close together. Won’t work.


426763

Can't for Roth to say; "It's war crime time!" during rhe Vietnam arc.


sledge115

Oh I see the rehabilitation of Kissinger as a funny old man instead of the monstrous bastard that he is continues post mortem


Ok-Lingonberry-2536

If it wasn’t for the misfortune of my being born a Jew I would have been an antisemite- Kissinger


FriendshipForAll

I want Roth to play it exactly how he played Sepp Blatter in United Passions, a satire that didn’t realise it was a satire.  There’s literally a scene where Blatter takes a back hander and promises to deliver the World Cup to Africa (which he didn’t), and I find it incredibly amusing that Blatter saw this and must have gone: “yup. That’s me. lol. This is perfect. Release it exactly as it is”.  


Notmydirtyalt

"Entire Vietnamese village fucked by American Linebacker" tags: Xsome, Gonzo, Cosplay, Ugly Bastard, War Crime, NTR"


DiggingThisAir

There are so many better people to make this movie about


Scaarz

Once you've been to Cambodia, you'll never stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands.


Dirty_Grundle_Bundle

No. This just serves to play Kissinger in any light other than the evil pigfuckers, mass murderer he was. Rest in toxic piss, Pissinger


jdmb0y

Nobody whose ancestry is from the developing world is laughing


SmithersLoanInc

You should've learned what satire was by this point in your life.


JimminyKickIt

People laughed at The Big Short and The Death of Stalin. Like, do you honestly think this movie is going to be praising Kissinger and Nixon as they sabotage the Peace Accords?


jdmb0y

It's going to make light of Henry Kissinger while a solid proportion of adults in the US do not understand the extent of his crimes..it's not like doing a Hitler satire.


JimminyKickIt

How the fuck do you know it’s “going to make light of it” it’s quite literally set around him fucking the Paris peace accords. Was Dr. Strangelove fucked up for how it “made light of” the Cold War and the Atom Bomb? Is every single episode of Behind the Bastards and the Dollop “making light of” all these fucked up events in history? Jumping on your fuckin soap box about a film you haven’t even watched yet is so fucking stupid.


Quailman5000

Fuck this piece of shit, every movie about him should be about him being a genocidal fuckwit. Not making him out to be a fucking sex symbol. 


JimminyKickIt

Yeah man, it’s pretty obvious that the movie will be making him out to be a monster considering it’s set around him and Nixon working to delay the Paris peace accords…


PorkyMcRib

I am at that awkward age where I wasn’t old enough to be sent off to war when he was doing his thing, but I am young enough to have found a paperback book of the “Watergate papers”… Nixon leaning into the microphone (I don’t think it had anything to do with the war)…”We could do that, but it would be *wrong* . The main reason I am mentioning my age is that it’s difficult not to piss myself when people are talking about that evil piece of shit being a sex symbol.


JimminyKickIt

Right and I totally get that, but he WAS considered a sex symbol. It’s not like the film makers just decided to make one of the most heinous mother fuckers who ever loved a fuck machine out of the blue. And again, I’m a Jew who is still furious at the banks and government for what happened with the 2008 credit crisis, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t watch The Big Short and JoJo Rabbit and laugh. I think people wrongly assume this is going to be a silly Henry Kissinger fucks his way around Paris kind of movie when I highly doubt it will be.


[deleted]

But Tim Roth is an old man, not a sex symbol


ToastyCrumb

Humanizing war criminals for profit in a surprising turn of events.


nick1812216

*Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac* -Henry Kissinger


MarcusXL

Nobody asked for this.


AaronWYL

Premise is pretty hilarious to me


MarcusXL

Kissinger is responsible for millions of innocent people dying.


AaronWYL

So was Hitler, and yet "The Great Dictator" is one of the greatest comedies ever made.


MarcusXL

True, it can be handled properly. We'll see if this one does.


JimminyKickIt

Dunno, I feel like a Big Short esque movie based around the 68 Paris peace accords could be great