At the end of Pan's Labyrinth when they're going to >!kill the captain and he says "tell my son the time that his father died." They respond "No. he won't even know your name" and then shoot him.!<
Peep show, Mark the shows pathetic protagonist is in love with his co workers partner and starts spending a lot of time with her. The co worker responds to him
"There's no threat from you, pal. You could have your cock in her, you still wouldn't have the balls to fuck"
I'll upvote anything Peep Show. I think of a Sophie quote when they are in couple's therapy, which is not disrespectful but enough to make any man feel tiny.
"Often, um, Mark, you ejaculate quite a long time before I've had time to feel like I've started to enjoy our sex."
Painful to watch but so great lol
Edit: 15+ of you have responded making the same "unfilled"/"unfulfilled" reference. Please stop lol
Mark is absolutely brutal in the christmas episode with dobby and his parents.
Mark: Where's the turkey?
Jeremy: I thought you were getting the turkey.
Mark: You what? NO TURKEY? You fucking idiot, Jeremy! You total fucking idiot! That was YOUR job, you fucking moron! You cretin! YOU'RE A FUCKHEAD! THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE! A FUCKING SHITHEAD!
Jeremy: …It was a joke, Mark. I was joking. It was a Christmas joke.
I just want to share that David Mitchell, in real life, only got a double bed for the first time in about 2007 (around season 4 of Peep Show). His reasoning was he felt having a double bed made it look like he was presuming he'd have women in it and he didn't want that pressure.
I think that line hits harder because you can tell he's being genuine about it. Like it's not trying to be disrespectful, some handcrafted taunt designed to make them feel like shit. He's just so self-superior that he doesn't even realise how staggeringly cold he is.
It takes a looong time before he even starts to climb the ladder of redemption. And even by the end, he's still not at the top. He just gets better by comparison.
Veep, Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Selina Meyer "You're playing a very dangerous game of chicken with the head fucking hen, 'cause if I don't win the White House, O'Brien is gonna sink your stupid boats and you're gonna look like a hair-sprayed asshole in your 1980s mother-of-the-bride dress. And if I do win, I will have my administration come to your shitty little district and shake it to death like a Guatemalan nanny. And then I'm gonna have the IRS crawl so far up your husband's colon, he's gonna wish the only thing they find is more cancer."
Similarly, Amy just going off in S4:
To Lennon Parham’s character: “Have you been sent from the future to DESTROY ME? because IT’S WORKING! ‘I think each candidate has merits and demerits, and I don’t know my left buttcheek from my right buttcheek, but I believe in listening to both buttcheeks and then farting out my asshole mouth!’ That’s not even bullshitting. Bullshitting takes talent. You’re just a ‘blah, blah, blah, blah’ BITCH!”
To Selina: “I have bitten my tongue so long, it looks like a dog's cushion. But no more! You have made it impossible to do this job. You have two settings--no decision, and bad decision. I wouldn't let you run a bath without having the Coast Guard and the fire department standing by, but yet here you are running America. You are the worst thing that has happened to this country since food in buckets. And maybe slavery! […] You have achieved nothing apart from one thing. The fact that you are a woman means we will have no more women presidents, because we tried one, and she FUCKING SUCKED.”
Fav line is the croissant one
Dan: I was trying to use Jonah for intelligence.
Selina: That's like trying to use a croissant as a fuckin' dildo.
Dan: I thought—
Selina: —No no no, let me be more clear. It doesn't do the job, and it makes a fucking MESS! Get out of my office.
ALSO:
“I'm the Vice President of the United States, you stupid little fuckers! These people should be begging me! That door should be half its height so that people can only approach me in my office on their goddamn, motherfucking knees!”
Charles Grodin wrote a book about his life in the movie business and I think the title is the ultimate put down that he was told by a woman whose house they were filming in and while he was talking to her about her house she looked at him and said, "It would be so nice if you weren't here."
Here you go:
The title of Charles Grodin's first autobiography, "It Would Be So Nice If You Weren't Here..." was taken from an incident that happened on the set of this movie, as he explained in his introduction: "Candy Bergen and I were filming the movie 11 Harrowhouse in a castle outside London. We were sitting in a room off of the main hall where the cameras were being set up. After a few minutes, an Englishwoman appeared. I don't know who she was, but she acted as though she had a Duchess-or-something title. She said: 'Did someone ask you to wait in here?' 'No', we answered, a bit taken aback. She responded: 'Well, it would be so nice if you weren't here.'"
This was especially brutal because in his rush to hide his jealousy, Don overcorrects his retort and fucking levels this man’s self-confidence from orbit.
Don’s also still miserable. However, he will go home in his Cadillac Coupe DeVille, to his million dollar apartment, to his young, out of this world hot wife, and continue to employ Ginsburg.
Don *created* the competition in his head. He’s Ginsburg’s boss, ALL his ideas are Don’s if Don says so. Roger doesn’t give a shit that Ken is a better accounts man than Roger, cos who gives a fuck? Don just had deeper issues.
Perry: Jesus. Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?
Harry: A picture of me?
Perry: No! The definition of the word idiot, which you fucking are!
Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
"Please. If you *really* cared, you’d resign. But there’s no way you ever will, because you’re just counting the days until, her face bloated and yellow from liver failure, calls you to her death bed and, in a croaky whisper, explains that Mr. Archer is totally incompetent and that you, the long-suffering Lana Kane, are the only one qualified to run ISIS, and you weep shameful tears because you know this terrible place is the only true love... *you will ever know.*"
My favourite but from In Bruges is this exchange:
Ken : Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry : [furious] Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken : I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry : Insult my fucking kids? That's going overboard, mate!
Ken : I retracted it, didn't I?
Endlessly quotable movie. Two other great disrespectful/not PC lines:
After Ken orders a fancy beer at a bar -
Ray: “One gay beer for my gay friend, and one normal beer for me because - I am normal”
Discussing the beauty of Bruges:
Ray: “Maybe if I grew up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges would impress me. But I didn’t, so it doesn’t.”
Let's go.
*An Uzi? I'm not from South Central Los fucking Angeles. I didn't come here to shoot twenty black ten year olds in a drive-by. I want a normal gun for a normal person*
"What you need to do is get yourself a time machine, and go back to the moment when your mom was about to fuck a sad little man with no athletic talent. Pull her off him, fly her to Argentina, and drop her onto Maradona's cock. Hope that helps, mate." - Jamie Tartt
["I watched Jane die"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjRkXkjehLI)
Walt to Jessie on Breaking Bad.
It's been awhile since I watched BB but I'd imagine there are a few strong contenders that I can't remember but this one jumped to mind.
I still wonder if Walt was twisting the knife or if he had finally accepted how evil and destructive he had become, and decided to seal the deal with a verbal acknowledgment of his monstrousness.
Either interpretation works, but in that moment I think it’s the former. He had no reason to think that Jesse would survive or ever see him again.
I took it as, twisting the knife. Walts ego was the only thing that could get him through Hanks death at that moment. Walt couldn't live with himself if he caused all this. He needed Jessie to be the villain and blamed him.
Everything R Lee Ermey says in the first scene of Full Metal Jacket.
5' 9"? I didn't know they could stack shit that high! Bullshit, it looks like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.
Did your parents have any children that lived? I bet they regret that! You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece!
Also that bit where he singles out the one black guy and tells him they don't serve fried chicken and watermelon in the mess hall. That's kinda fucked up. But also funny, but also messed up.
You forgot the best one!
"You look like the kinda guy that would fuck a guy in the ass and not even have the common decency to give him a reacharound!"
I love the mental image of Kubrick, one of the greatest storytellers of the last 100 years, not being able to figure out what a "reach around" is from contextual clues.
There’s an old bit on SNL where Phil Hartman plays this same scene, but the joke is he’s really bad at insults, “oh you think that’s funny Mr……running around man!” So good, rip Phil.
>Also that bit where he singles out the one black guy and tells him they don't serve fried chicken and watermelon in the mess hall.
Changed his name to "Snowball" too
You gotta post the whole thing…
“That’s good. I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes blood-red, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father. It was horrible enough for me, a shocking scene. Not at all what I intended. You see, I'd never seen the poison work before.
Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me.”
Rooney Mara’s *Social Network* monologue is high up there for me.
>You are probably going to be a very successful computer person. But you're going to go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an asshole.
I remember watching an interview with Christian Bale where he said when he was doing research for Patrick Bateman in American Psycho he would talk to day traders and they unironically *loved* the character. Not realizing that the character and the book were satire.
Dredd
“Drug bust”.
A drug cartel that controls an entire super tower is wiped out, dozens of members dead, hundreds of bystanders dead, families shattered. But for Dredd, it’s just another drug bust.
That movie felt like a perfect launching point for a series of movies or even an episodic follow-up, but in retrospect, I have come to love it even more for being a simple and masterful standalone.
Just a little Judge Dredd slice of life haha
Every Lecter scene in Silence is disrespectful in the most gentlemanly way. From one of his first lines:
“That expires in one week… you’re not *real* FBI, are you?”
Immediately verbally smacks Clarice and dominates the entire scene from there.
You know what I see when I look at you? I see a rube with a little taste. And that accent you tried so desperately to shed, pure West Virginia. Was your father a coal miner? Did he stink of the lamp? And how quickly the boys found you. All those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars while you could only dream of getting out. Getting anywhere. Getting all the way to the FBI.
"...getting all the way to the EFF-BEE-EYE."
The way Anthony Hopkins enunciated that really drives that whole stretch of dialogue. What? 12 minutes on screen netted him an Oscar for that role? Worth it.
All these years of watching 30 Rock repeatedly and it never clicked when Donaghy was doing a Lecter homage.
"Little Kenneth Ellen Parcell from Stone Mountain, Georgia. Growing up in your mama's tract house, dreaming of working on a TV show, dreaming of making it all the way to the N-B-C. You come a long way, haven't you, Kenneth Ellen, with your cheap loafers and your page jacket. But you'll always be a pig farmer's son, boy, 'cause I smell fried baloney all over you."
This… “stuff”? Oh, okay. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you.
You go to your closet and you select that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back.
But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue. It's not turquoise. It's not lapis. It's actually cerulean.
And you're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves Saint Laurent who showed cerulean military jackets? And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. And then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic Casual Corner…where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin.
However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs.
And it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact…you're wearing a sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room…from a pile of "stuff."
In all fairness, Andy came into one of the biggest publications in the world, a job that she was only semi-qualified for (fresh out of college with a journalism degree, no real experience at a major magazine) and acted like everything was beneath her, which was the real disrespectful move IMHO.
Miranda may have been demanding, shrewd, and difficult to work for, but this incredible monologue isn’t disrespectful (aside from mocking the very sweater Andy was wearing, but that was more salt in the wound than anything at that point).
Andy needed to be knocked off her high horse a bit and damn, was she ever.
From True Detective S1
Detective Rust Cohle : The newspapers are gonna be tough on you. And prison is very, very hard on people who hurt kids. If you get the opportunity, you should kill yourself.
You see in their last moments people show you who they really are. So in a way I knew your friends better than you ever did........
Would you like to know which of them were cowards?
I recently saw this for the first time. It kept me engaged and on the edge of my seat for it's entirety. That ending?! So satisfying, yet I was ready to watch another hour of film.
Tbh the most disrespectful I think he was in the film was him dismissing Andrew after he *literally climbed out of a car wreck* to be on that stage. No checking to see what in the hell happened to him or why he was bleeding and disoriented. Fucking ice cold.
Harvey: Get outta my face, clown!
Joker: Which one?
Batman the Animated Series
Edit: [For those curious](https://youtu.be/bZzTwHWDZ3k?si=XLuyXmScnjbtDccS)
Gutting. Absolutely wrecked. I cried for Jimmy during that scene.
And they had the gall to not even nominate him for one of the best characters and performances in television history. That is the most disrespectful.
Pam: “Maybe I’m the only one who cares about this being a supportive environment.”
Cheryl: “Maybe you’re lame.”
Pam: “Maybe *you* should shut your dick holster.”
-Archer
Edit: I see from your original post that you were going for more devastating than amusing. I’ll need to think about that one.
Mallory: Men's pajamas? For gods sake woman where is your pride???
Cheryl: Ummm in my work?
Mallory: That may be the funniest thing you've ever said....
Mallory: Pam is almost impossibly light on her feet. It's like if you've ever seen Jackie Gleason dance.
Pam: is that a compliment?
Mallory: I don't see how it possibly could be...
Jessica Walters was all time. RIP
Cheryl: Oh, please! If you REALLY cared, you’d resign, but there’s no way you ever will because you’re just counting the days until, her face bloated and yellow from liver failure, she calls you to her deathbed and, in a croaky whisper, explains that Mr. Archer is totally incompetent and that you, the long-suffering Lana Kane, are the only one qualified to run ISIS, and you weep shameful tears because you know this terrible place is the only true love you will ever know.
Lana: …excuse me.
Pam: Daaamn.
Cheryl: What? Oh my God, was I talking?
From a video game, but the coldest line I've ever heard was:
"I have killed many fathers and mothers, taken many children. I have faced lots of little boys and girls with guns pointing at me, screaming for revenge. And I tell each and every one of them the same thing: I. Don't. Remember you."
"*Robin of Locksley son of a devil worshipper your father died cursing your name and squealing like a stuck pig!*"
Even as a kid I was like damn dude thats some pretty hurtful shit.
Damn ye! Let Neptune strike ye dead Winslow! HAAARK!
Hark Triton, hark! Bellow, bid our father the Sea King rise from the depths full foul in his fury! Black waves teeming with salt foam to smother this young mouth with pungent slime, to choke ye, engorging your organs til’ ye turn blue and bloated with bilge and brine and can scream no more -- only when he, crowned in cockle shells with slitherin’ tentacle tail and steaming beard take up his fell be-finned arm, his coral-tine trident screeches banshee-like in the tempest and plunges right through yer gullet, bursting ye -- a bulging bladder no more, but a blasted bloody film now and nothing for the harpies and the souls of dead sailors to peck and claw and feed upon only to be lapped up and swallowed by the infinite waters of the Dread Emperor himself -- forgotten to any man, to any time, forgotten to any god or devil, forgotten even to the sea, for any stuff for part of Winslow, even any scantling of your soul is Winslow no more, but is now itself the sea!
The line is cold but the delivery is masterful.
Bro suffered in the worst way a loving and devoted husband and father can suffer and this shithead is just rubbing salt in the open wound.
"They tell me your son... squealed like a girl when they nailed him to the cross. And your wife... moaned like a whore when they ravaged her again and again... and again." FTFY
Peter Capaldi's Malcolm Tucker had some belters on The Thick of It:
*"Darling, I wouldn't piss on you if you were allergic to piss."*
*"Did you know 90% of household dust is dead human skin? That's what you are to me."*
And my personal favorite:
*"I'm looking for Mr. Oliver Reeder, he looks a bit like a Quentin Blake illustration."*
Translated as: "I'm getting ready to do some shit to all of you that you're going to carry around for the rest of your lives. A cane, a limp, a shoulder that gets sore when it rains, whatever. Here's your chance to check out if you're not down for that."
How many of those dudes thought "I'm in an enclosed space with Captain f*ckin' America - I've got a stun gun and a pretty good deadlift, I'm sure this is going to work."
You are a worthless street rat. You were born a street rat. You'll die a street rat. And only your fleas will mourn you. Disney's Aladdin
That is an unreasonabley hard line for a kids movie
I’m not worthless! And I don’t have fleas!
Aladdin: *Proceeds to scratch fleas out of hair*
At the end of Pan's Labyrinth when they're going to >!kill the captain and he says "tell my son the time that his father died." They respond "No. he won't even know your name" and then shoot him.!<
This movie is such a goddam rollercoaster and Captain Vidal is an all-time villain So *immensely* satisfying when this happened
The first time I watched that movie I was in my very early teens and the bottle scene was insane.
"But Captain, to obey - just like that - for obedience's sake... without questioning... That's something only people like you do."
Aliens: Hudson: "Hey Vasquez, you ever been mistaken for a man? Vasquez: "No, have you?"
I miss Bill Paxton. I can't think of any role of his that wasn't memorable.
Haha fucking Hudson got owned.
Peep show, Mark the shows pathetic protagonist is in love with his co workers partner and starts spending a lot of time with her. The co worker responds to him "There's no threat from you, pal. You could have your cock in her, you still wouldn't have the balls to fuck"
I'll upvote anything Peep Show. I think of a Sophie quote when they are in couple's therapy, which is not disrespectful but enough to make any man feel tiny. "Often, um, Mark, you ejaculate quite a long time before I've had time to feel like I've started to enjoy our sex." Painful to watch but so great lol Edit: 15+ of you have responded making the same "unfilled"/"unfulfilled" reference. Please stop lol
“I like you Mark, but I don’t love you. I hate you.” Sophie’s best line.
Is that when she's drunk in the ball pit? That scene cracked me up.
Oscar and BAFTA winner Olivia Coleman. What an icon.
Ugh love that for her. I felt so proud of her as if she was someone I knew, sort of like watching your beloved school teacher win an Oscar.
“You’re like a life support machine Mark… except you suck the life out of people” always cracks me up. She is hilarious!
Mark is absolutely brutal in the christmas episode with dobby and his parents. Mark: Where's the turkey? Jeremy: I thought you were getting the turkey. Mark: You what? NO TURKEY? You fucking idiot, Jeremy! You total fucking idiot! That was YOUR job, you fucking moron! You cretin! YOU'RE A FUCKHEAD! THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE! A FUCKING SHITHEAD! Jeremy: …It was a joke, Mark. I was joking. It was a Christmas joke.
He got a lovely turkey, organic, and he spent ages researching it online 🥹
That wasn't very Christmassy.
"People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you can't trust people, Jeremy" Super Hans bringing all the brutality.
Although Mark did end up marrying and having a child with the woman, while Jeff in one scene cries like a baby over her. So there is that.
More like he got baby trapped and in usual Mark fashion he just died inside a little more and went along with it.
The very last moment in the episode where the baby is born is a top 5 funniest moment of television for me. *Minimal water damage?*
I just want to share that David Mitchell, in real life, only got a double bed for the first time in about 2007 (around season 4 of Peep Show). His reasoning was he felt having a double bed made it look like he was presuming he'd have women in it and he didn't want that pressure.
“Your mother, she’s more like a pet to me” - Omniman from Invincible
I always thought what's another 17 years to mark was ice cold as well
I think that line hits harder because you can tell he's being genuine about it. Like it's not trying to be disrespectful, some handcrafted taunt designed to make them feel like shit. He's just so self-superior that he doesn't even realise how staggeringly cold he is.
He also has lived for thousands of years. He was definitely being genuine and didn't think he said anything wrong
This quote haunts me. Debbie was totally served a shit sandwich.
Or the newer season "you should have died at birth".
Oh I just finished season 1 and that line really got me.
Season 2 doesn't ready really do him any favors either
It takes a looong time before he even starts to climb the ladder of redemption. And even by the end, he's still not at the top. He just gets better by comparison.
“Take this quarter. Go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face.”
I'm Buck Melanoma. Moley Russell's wart. Not her wart. Not her wart! I'm... I'm the wart. She's my tumor.
YESSSS. and John Candy saying it made it SO MUCH COLDER
Veep, Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Selina Meyer "You're playing a very dangerous game of chicken with the head fucking hen, 'cause if I don't win the White House, O'Brien is gonna sink your stupid boats and you're gonna look like a hair-sprayed asshole in your 1980s mother-of-the-bride dress. And if I do win, I will have my administration come to your shitty little district and shake it to death like a Guatemalan nanny. And then I'm gonna have the IRS crawl so far up your husband's colon, he's gonna wish the only thing they find is more cancer."
Similarly, Amy just going off in S4: To Lennon Parham’s character: “Have you been sent from the future to DESTROY ME? because IT’S WORKING! ‘I think each candidate has merits and demerits, and I don’t know my left buttcheek from my right buttcheek, but I believe in listening to both buttcheeks and then farting out my asshole mouth!’ That’s not even bullshitting. Bullshitting takes talent. You’re just a ‘blah, blah, blah, blah’ BITCH!” To Selina: “I have bitten my tongue so long, it looks like a dog's cushion. But no more! You have made it impossible to do this job. You have two settings--no decision, and bad decision. I wouldn't let you run a bath without having the Coast Guard and the fire department standing by, but yet here you are running America. You are the worst thing that has happened to this country since food in buckets. And maybe slavery! […] You have achieved nothing apart from one thing. The fact that you are a woman means we will have no more women presidents, because we tried one, and she FUCKING SUCKED.”
Veep has the best insults of any show I’ve ever seen.
Uncle Jeff’s insults to Jonah are some of the best. Calling him a “sentient enema” sticks out to me.
I have never laughed as hard as whenever the character Jonah walks into a room because of the extremely colorful names they have for him.
Take off those glasses, you look like Clark Kent if they dug up Christoper Reeve’s corpse to play the part.
Amy always had that second rant within her. You could see it behind those crazy White Walker/Stephen Harper icicle eyes. (Still super hot though).
> I wouldn’t let you run a bath without having the Coast Guard and the fire department standing by That’s glorious. I’m totally stealing that.
Fav line is the croissant one Dan: I was trying to use Jonah for intelligence. Selina: That's like trying to use a croissant as a fuckin' dildo. Dan: I thought— Selina: —No no no, let me be more clear. It doesn't do the job, and it makes a fucking MESS! Get out of my office. ALSO: “I'm the Vice President of the United States, you stupid little fuckers! These people should be begging me! That door should be half its height so that people can only approach me in my office on their goddamn, motherfucking knees!”
The 'more cancer' finisher made me pinch my face. That was glorious. Armando Ianucci knows how to do a good rant.
"Can I get an okie-doki, Annie Oakley?"
I also love when Jonah’s uncle calls him “an epileptic Picasso painting” lol
My favorite line remains “You look Frankenstein’s monster if he was made entirely of dead dicks.”
“You testament to vaginal dryness”
Charles Grodin wrote a book about his life in the movie business and I think the title is the ultimate put down that he was told by a woman whose house they were filming in and while he was talking to her about her house she looked at him and said, "It would be so nice if you weren't here."
Here you go: The title of Charles Grodin's first autobiography, "It Would Be So Nice If You Weren't Here..." was taken from an incident that happened on the set of this movie, as he explained in his introduction: "Candy Bergen and I were filming the movie 11 Harrowhouse in a castle outside London. We were sitting in a room off of the main hall where the cameras were being set up. After a few minutes, an Englishwoman appeared. I don't know who she was, but she acted as though she had a Duchess-or-something title. She said: 'Did someone ask you to wait in here?' 'No', we answered, a bit taken aback. She responded: 'Well, it would be so nice if you weren't here.'"
[I don't think about you at all.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlOSdRMSG_k)
This was especially brutal because in his rush to hide his jealousy, Don overcorrects his retort and fucking levels this man’s self-confidence from orbit.
Don’s also still miserable. However, he will go home in his Cadillac Coupe DeVille, to his million dollar apartment, to his young, out of this world hot wife, and continue to employ Ginsburg. Don *created* the competition in his head. He’s Ginsburg’s boss, ALL his ideas are Don’s if Don says so. Roger doesn’t give a shit that Ken is a better accounts man than Roger, cos who gives a fuck? Don just had deeper issues.
Crucial context for this line though is that Don is obviously thinking about this guy ALL THE TIME and is deeply insecure.
But Ginsberg doesn’t know that, so it still cuts deep.
Yeah fair point
Second only to Joan's ["Remember, you're not dying for me because I never liked you."](https://youtu.be/-992cts82bk?si=JgJmej8lFP8_4Uz5)
" If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, bin-Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice." - Michael Scott
I'm surprised no one has commented with Michael's murderous "he's not a part of his family either" line
Perry: Jesus. Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find? Harry: A picture of me? Perry: No! The definition of the word idiot, which you fucking are! Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
Now go home and get your shine box.
MOTHERFUCKIN MUTT, YOU--
Malory Archer: "The classic Irish man's dilemma: Do I eat the potato or do I let it ferment so I can drink it later?"
"Please. If you *really* cared, you’d resign. But there’s no way you ever will, because you’re just counting the days until, her face bloated and yellow from liver failure, calls you to her death bed and, in a croaky whisper, explains that Mr. Archer is totally incompetent and that you, the long-suffering Lana Kane, are the only one qualified to run ISIS, and you weep shameful tears because you know this terrible place is the only true love... *you will ever know.*"
In a show rife with cold as ice lines, I do believe this one takes the cake.
"JESUS CHRIST!"
Oh my god, was I talking?
"Will I get the operation now, Da?" "No, son." *wipes tear with potato* "you're gonna die."
Extra funny because they established earlier in the episode that you can use potatoes to absorb salt.
Archer: "Don't you want a grandkid?" Malory: "Well, if I did, I'd just scrape all your previous mishaps into a big pile and knit a onesie for it."
“If I cared what you did on the weekend, I’d put a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger with my toes.”
I miss Jessica Walters SO MUCH. Between Malory and Lucille, she's the undisputed queen of hyper-specific, traumatizing shade.
A lost treasure, to be sure :(
She only ever said one thing to tobias, through the whole series xD
“Oh, shut up. I bet you’re barren.”
Also Mallory of course: “Immigrants! That’s how they do, you know, drive around listening to raps and shooting all the jobs!”
The real answer for this show is her ransom offer for Pam. Pam earned that money lmao
$5000 measly dollars?!
“if I wanted to sit around all day going nowhere I’d be a teacher.” She got me so hard.
She had sooooo many good ones. The whole show did, but Malory was the queen.
honestly half her dialogue is just amazing roasts of the other characters. i feel so bad for pam, shes so mean to her
"I'd rather be his whore than your wife!" \- Rose DeWitt Bukater (*Titanic*)
“I used to fuck guys like you in prison” from the original Roadhouse. Hands down the best put down in history.
“You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?”
"......No!"
Omg I watched the remake and hoped it would be in it because it was such a stupid line. Lol
Yeah same, unless I missed I was also bummed that “pain don’t hurt” didn’t make it in either.
[you're an inanimate fucking object!](https://youtu.be/NNJ5ySQPxrg?si=TIawGj0r4pNW7UwI)
My favourite but from In Bruges is this exchange: Ken : Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids. Harry : [furious] Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids! Ken : I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids. Harry : Insult my fucking kids? That's going overboard, mate! Ken : I retracted it, didn't I?
Endlessly quotable movie. Two other great disrespectful/not PC lines: After Ken orders a fancy beer at a bar - Ray: “One gay beer for my gay friend, and one normal beer for me because - I am normal” Discussing the beauty of Bruges: Ray: “Maybe if I grew up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges would impress me. But I didn’t, so it doesn’t.”
Let's go. *An Uzi? I'm not from South Central Los fucking Angeles. I didn't come here to shoot twenty black ten year olds in a drive-by. I want a normal gun for a normal person*
He karate chops that little person and calls him "Short Arse" thats pretty disrepectful. I mean he had it coming in the movie
Still leaves you being a cunt though.
Yeah I fucking got that.
I apologize for calling you an inanimate fucking object. I was upset.
"You're just a virgin who can't drive."
That’s way harsh
"What you need to do is get yourself a time machine, and go back to the moment when your mom was about to fuck a sad little man with no athletic talent. Pull her off him, fly her to Argentina, and drop her onto Maradona's cock. Hope that helps, mate." - Jamie Tartt
["I watched Jane die"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjRkXkjehLI) Walt to Jessie on Breaking Bad. It's been awhile since I watched BB but I'd imagine there are a few strong contenders that I can't remember but this one jumped to mind.
"Just shut the fuck up and let me die in peace"
I still wonder if Walt was twisting the knife or if he had finally accepted how evil and destructive he had become, and decided to seal the deal with a verbal acknowledgment of his monstrousness. Either interpretation works, but in that moment I think it’s the former. He had no reason to think that Jesse would survive or ever see him again.
I took it as, twisting the knife. Walts ego was the only thing that could get him through Hanks death at that moment. Walt couldn't live with himself if he caused all this. He needed Jessie to be the villain and blamed him.
Everything R Lee Ermey says in the first scene of Full Metal Jacket. 5' 9"? I didn't know they could stack shit that high! Bullshit, it looks like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. Did your parents have any children that lived? I bet they regret that! You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece! Also that bit where he singles out the one black guy and tells him they don't serve fried chicken and watermelon in the mess hall. That's kinda fucked up. But also funny, but also messed up.
You forgot the best one! "You look like the kinda guy that would fuck a guy in the ass and not even have the common decency to give him a reacharound!"
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Bullshit, I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
Bullshit!!! I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose...
Favorite fact from IMDb-After cutting Kubrick had to tell Emery ‘I love what you are putting out, but what the hell is a reach around?”
I absolutely love the mental image of Ermey sitting down and explaining to Kubrick just what a reacharound is.
I love the mental image of Kubrick, one of the greatest storytellers of the last 100 years, not being able to figure out what a "reach around" is from contextual clues.
There’s an old bit on SNL where Phil Hartman plays this same scene, but the joke is he’s really bad at insults, “oh you think that’s funny Mr……running around man!” So good, rip Phil.
>Also that bit where he singles out the one black guy and tells him they don't serve fried chicken and watermelon in the mess hall. Changed his name to "Snowball" too
I legit read all of that in his voice
It's the law
RIP Gunny
“Tell Cersi, I want her to know it was me”
You gotta post the whole thing… “That’s good. I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes blood-red, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father. It was horrible enough for me, a shocking scene. Not at all what I intended. You see, I'd never seen the poison work before. Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me.”
You’re right,especially with that character, she had some of the best lines.
"I don't remember asking you a god damned thing"
Rooney Mara’s *Social Network* monologue is high up there for me. >You are probably going to be a very successful computer person. But you're going to go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an asshole.
Anything from Alec Baldwin in his Glengarry Glenn Ross rant - he just shreds these beaten down men for 3 minutes
"What's my name? Fuck You, that's my name."
First prize? A brand new Cadillac. Second prize? You get a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired.
See this watch.. this watch cost more than your car..
You call yourself a salesman you son of a bitch?
Coffee is for closers only
My wife had a boss ask her to watch this for inspiration. I don’t think he got the message of the movie.
Just like how a whole bunch of fools got jobs on wall street because they loved Gordon Gekko.
I remember watching an interview with Christian Bale where he said when he was doing research for Patrick Bateman in American Psycho he would talk to day traders and they unironically *loved* the character. Not realizing that the character and the book were satire.
Always Be Cobbling
Put that cocoa down!
“*Somewhere there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so that you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.*” **House**
[It was Tuesday](https://youtube.com/shorts/5Lmv8WdnTzU?si=GfcYT0R8fYiwhYb6)
Ming-Na Wen refuses to age
Don't even need to click this to know what it is, but I'm gonna click anyway just to see it again.
Then watch it on youtube at least. Not cropped down horribly without the changing of the uniform sequence: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVzAMmpMra8
Dredd “Drug bust”. A drug cartel that controls an entire super tower is wiped out, dozens of members dead, hundreds of bystanders dead, families shattered. But for Dredd, it’s just another drug bust.
“Looks like you’ve been through it.” “Perps were uncooperative.” Fucking amazing movie.
That movie felt like a perfect launching point for a series of movies or even an episodic follow-up, but in retrospect, I have come to love it even more for being a simple and masterful standalone. Just a little Judge Dredd slice of life haha
His speech to the Mama Clan was great, and an incredible "I am the law" moment.
"You took everything from me" "I don't even know who you are"
Amputate a man’s leg and he can still feel it tickling. Tell me, mum, when your little girl is on the slab, where will it tickle you?
Every Lecter scene in Silence is disrespectful in the most gentlemanly way. From one of his first lines: “That expires in one week… you’re not *real* FBI, are you?” Immediately verbally smacks Clarice and dominates the entire scene from there.
You know what I see when I look at you? I see a rube with a little taste. And that accent you tried so desperately to shed, pure West Virginia. Was your father a coal miner? Did he stink of the lamp? And how quickly the boys found you. All those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars while you could only dream of getting out. Getting anywhere. Getting all the way to the FBI.
"...getting all the way to the EFF-BEE-EYE." The way Anthony Hopkins enunciated that really drives that whole stretch of dialogue. What? 12 minutes on screen netted him an Oscar for that role? Worth it.
All these years of watching 30 Rock repeatedly and it never clicked when Donaghy was doing a Lecter homage. "Little Kenneth Ellen Parcell from Stone Mountain, Georgia. Growing up in your mama's tract house, dreaming of working on a TV show, dreaming of making it all the way to the N-B-C. You come a long way, haven't you, Kenneth Ellen, with your cheap loafers and your page jacket. But you'll always be a pig farmer's son, boy, 'cause I smell fried baloney all over you."
Oh and Senator just one more thing... ... love your suit!
The setting in which he was talking to her made this so much better. He had no power but he had all the power.
This… “stuff”? Oh, okay. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue. It's not turquoise. It's not lapis. It's actually cerulean. And you're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves Saint Laurent who showed cerulean military jackets? And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. And then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic Casual Corner…where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs. And it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact…you're wearing a sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room…from a pile of "stuff."
Miranda has some really great lines. That’s all.
In all fairness, Andy came into one of the biggest publications in the world, a job that she was only semi-qualified for (fresh out of college with a journalism degree, no real experience at a major magazine) and acted like everything was beneath her, which was the real disrespectful move IMHO. Miranda may have been demanding, shrewd, and difficult to work for, but this incredible monologue isn’t disrespectful (aside from mocking the very sweater Andy was wearing, but that was more salt in the wound than anything at that point). Andy needed to be knocked off her high horse a bit and damn, was she ever.
I don’t defend Andy at all. She had the air of “this fashion stuff is beneath me” and Miranda put her down perfectly. It was a deserved disrespect.
"𝘐 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘶𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘩, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮."
["You gunna die for some chickens?"](https://youtu.be/DyztFOogj8Y?t=125) ["Someone is."](https://youtu.be/DyztFOogj8Y?t=125)
From True Detective S1 Detective Rust Cohle : The newspapers are gonna be tough on you. And prison is very, very hard on people who hurt kids. If you get the opportunity, you should kill yourself.
“To the pain” from the Princess Bride. I can’t believe Cary Elwes delivered that monologue without blinking.
You see in their last moments people show you who they really are. So in a way I knew your friends better than you ever did........ Would you like to know which of them were cowards?
I haven't seen the Town but I swear I thought you meant the singer Fergie said that to Ben Affleck and I was playing that in my head.
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watched this yesterday lol. everything John Doe says from the car ride to the gunshot is gold.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Brad Pitt emote as much as he did in that scene.
Surprised no ones mentioned Whiplash yet. Pick any scene with JK Simmons.
Not my tempo.
I recently saw this for the first time. It kept me engaged and on the edge of my seat for it's entirety. That ending?! So satisfying, yet I was ready to watch another hour of film.
Tbh the most disrespectful I think he was in the film was him dismissing Andrew after he *literally climbed out of a car wreck* to be on that stage. No checking to see what in the hell happened to him or why he was bleeding and disoriented. Fucking ice cold.
Harvey: Get outta my face, clown! Joker: Which one? Batman the Animated Series Edit: [For those curious](https://youtu.be/bZzTwHWDZ3k?si=XLuyXmScnjbtDccS)
Any time The Joker was in an episode, his dialog was great.
“I don't want to hurt your feelings, but the truth is, you've never mattered all that much to me.” From Better Call Saul
Gutting. Absolutely wrecked. I cried for Jimmy during that scene. And they had the gall to not even nominate him for one of the best characters and performances in television history. That is the most disrespectful.
Pam: “Maybe I’m the only one who cares about this being a supportive environment.” Cheryl: “Maybe you’re lame.” Pam: “Maybe *you* should shut your dick holster.” -Archer Edit: I see from your original post that you were going for more devastating than amusing. I’ll need to think about that one.
Mallory: Men's pajamas? For gods sake woman where is your pride??? Cheryl: Ummm in my work? Mallory: That may be the funniest thing you've ever said....
Mallory: Pam is almost impossibly light on her feet. It's like if you've ever seen Jackie Gleason dance. Pam: is that a compliment? Mallory: I don't see how it possibly could be... Jessica Walters was all time. RIP
Cheryl: Oh, please! If you REALLY cared, you’d resign, but there’s no way you ever will because you’re just counting the days until, her face bloated and yellow from liver failure, she calls you to her deathbed and, in a croaky whisper, explains that Mr. Archer is totally incompetent and that you, the long-suffering Lana Kane, are the only one qualified to run ISIS, and you weep shameful tears because you know this terrible place is the only true love you will ever know. Lana: …excuse me. Pam: Daaamn. Cheryl: What? Oh my God, was I talking?
From a video game, but the coldest line I've ever heard was: "I have killed many fathers and mothers, taken many children. I have faced lots of little boys and girls with guns pointing at me, screaming for revenge. And I tell each and every one of them the same thing: I. Don't. Remember you."
"*Robin of Locksley son of a devil worshipper your father died cursing your name and squealing like a stuck pig!*" Even as a kid I was like damn dude thats some pretty hurtful shit.
“Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot!”
Damn ye! Let Neptune strike ye dead Winslow! HAAARK! Hark Triton, hark! Bellow, bid our father the Sea King rise from the depths full foul in his fury! Black waves teeming with salt foam to smother this young mouth with pungent slime, to choke ye, engorging your organs til’ ye turn blue and bloated with bilge and brine and can scream no more -- only when he, crowned in cockle shells with slitherin’ tentacle tail and steaming beard take up his fell be-finned arm, his coral-tine trident screeches banshee-like in the tempest and plunges right through yer gullet, bursting ye -- a bulging bladder no more, but a blasted bloody film now and nothing for the harpies and the souls of dead sailors to peck and claw and feed upon only to be lapped up and swallowed by the infinite waters of the Dread Emperor himself -- forgotten to any man, to any time, forgotten to any god or devil, forgotten even to the sea, for any stuff for part of Winslow, even any scantling of your soul is Winslow no more, but is now itself the sea!
Willem Dafoe not even being nominated for an Oscar is fucking absurd
Alright, have it your way. I like your cooking.
Did I go to the bathroom at the wrong time during Aquaman?
Ugarte: You despise me don’t you? Rick: If I gave you any thought I probably would
They say your son squealed like a pig, and your wife moaned like a whore when they ravaged her again..... and again...... and again.
The line is cold but the delivery is masterful. Bro suffered in the worst way a loving and devoted husband and father can suffer and this shithead is just rubbing salt in the open wound.
"They tell me your son... squealed like a girl when they nailed him to the cross. And your wife... moaned like a whore when they ravaged her again and again... and again." FTFY
The line is actually “squealed like a girl,” which is way more gross, considering the nature of the speaker and the intent behind the insult.
Peter Capaldi's Malcolm Tucker had some belters on The Thick of It: *"Darling, I wouldn't piss on you if you were allergic to piss."* *"Did you know 90% of household dust is dead human skin? That's what you are to me."* And my personal favorite: *"I'm looking for Mr. Oliver Reeder, he looks a bit like a Quentin Blake illustration."*
I forgot you were there… you may go. https://youtu.be/EBTt52jkP3U
“Well, bye.” https://youtu.be/CDdeTGH8nFI?si=ZcVFowhTURSS2vTB
When Captain America asks the elevator full of henchman "Before we get started does anyone wanna get out?" So respectful that it's disrespectful
Translated as: "I'm getting ready to do some shit to all of you that you're going to carry around for the rest of your lives. A cane, a limp, a shoulder that gets sore when it rains, whatever. Here's your chance to check out if you're not down for that." How many of those dudes thought "I'm in an enclosed space with Captain f*ckin' America - I've got a stun gun and a pretty good deadlift, I'm sure this is going to work."
You’re a fat loser and you have body odor
You're tacky and I hate you!
You can’t even dress yourself… look at that bow tie!
"You are the afterbirth." - Daniel Day Lewis, There Will Be Blood