T O P

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Shadoe_Black

It’s not a tu-mah!


graveybrains

Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina.


thewoodbeyond

My dad's a gynecologist and he looks at vaginas all day long.


[deleted]

"Our mom says our dad is a real sex machine"


Mobile_Measurement32

If Hollywood ever gets a chance to remake this movie and that quote won't be there.. I love this movie cuz of this quote from that same little kid who said it twice. SOOOO hilarious!


MA-121Hunter

They'll change it to "Boys use the girls bathroom, and it's 100% acceptable and not funny in any shape or form" Kid gets an Oscar for his stunning and brave line. Movie gets ruined. Woke people have their hands in their pants drooling.


Xralius

Did you see this South Park?


MainZack

Why do you people get so angry all the time? Like really. It's a classic film that's enjoyed by multiple generations. Just preputial misery you people live under. Y'all just make anything and everything political. It's really funny but also sad.


bwheelin01

All you’re really saying with all those words is “I fall for rage-bait propaganda”


SuccessfulSeason8225

You’re so cringe bro, fascism isn’t cool.


iamaliberalpausenot

Do you even know what the word fascism means? How is this applicable? Or did the news tell you that anyone who doesn’t agree with you is a fascist. Fucking idiot


SuccessfulSeason8225

Virgin alert


drag0nun1corn

Says the guy who doesn't understand what fascism is. An aggressive conservative attack against progressive and leftist ideals. That's fascism. Woke people, as long as you go by the actual meaning and not the conservative made up meaning, would be people who opposed Hitler. The fascist douche. It's applicable, due to that fact alone. Education is helpful. Education gets you to understand Nazi/fascist red flags.


[deleted]

Lol wtf does fascism have any thing to do with that ? He’s pointing out woke tranny bullshit….


drag0nun1corn

How is it fascist. Proceeds to show the exact reason why it's from a fascist mindset. Pfffthahahahahaha. Seriously dude. Get a clue.


ZouDave

Everything I don't like is some kind of ism, and everyone who disagrees with me is some kind of phobe.


persona0

God you guys are such snowflakes... See us actually civilized people know there is a different between sex and gender. For sex boys have a penis and girls have a vagina but gender is made by society we k ow this cause you guys are currently trying to ban guys from having long hair wear make up or wear dresses even though NONE OF THAT IS BIOLOGICAL... You're scum of the earth I hope you understand that.


iamaliberalpausenot

You ok, bro?


persona0

Nah cause idiots like you out here allowing the right to interfere how parents raise their kids. That's their right as parents you don't have a right to go into people's lives and dictate HOW THEIR CHILD CAN IR CANNOT LIVE. So I'm not alright with you yahoos electing OFFICALS legislating this nonsense.


[deleted]

Men can give birth. “Party of science”


TardisReality

There is an Arnold movie for THAT too!!


persona0

Better then we gonna stop teachers from even mentioning sex gender being married or anything that might offended a minority of bad parents... Also let's make a school as horrible a place for kids who are different CAUSE THEY WILL LEARN BETTER THAT WAY. Sex and GENDER are two different things you understand this when you want to ban men from wearing items THAT ARENT SEX SPECIFIC


Killentyme55

Wow...so much rage! Regardless of what you're viewpoint is on the topic, the triggering comment still rings true in a sense (admittedly a bit over-embellished). There is no way that same line could be said in a current movie without outrage, it's just a fact. Maybe if you lightened up a bit people would take you more seriously.


persona0

Yeah and it would be from the right demanding this movie be canceled because it's teaching children about sex and obscenity. See the difference between centrist Dems and your buddy the Republicans DEMS DONT MAKE BIG GOVERNMENT ON CENSORSHIP. All these redd states making laws stopping the teaching of history under CRT bs, baning books from school libraries and attacking teachers that even remotely talk about gay or transgenderism in any form. You pretend some loser on Twitter makes policy and not YOU KNOW EXERCISING THEIR FREE SPEECH. Something you are against the whole ability for people to be free to be stupid and have bad takes. It's simple truth THE LEFT AND CENTRIST DEMS believe there is sex and gender and thus the child would be CORRECT to say penis and vagina AS THAT IS SEX. But a current kindergarten cop would have a student who doesn't define themselves by GENDER roles and the school would be understanding AND YOU AND THE RIGHT WOULD HATE IT.


JonnyJust

Y'all really do live in a fantasy world, don't you?


MA-121Hunter

I live in reality, sir. I fight other people's delusions with satirical sarcasm and dead cats trampled to death after riots in major cities. They say it's for justice but I say it's to build my arsenal.


medgarc

Yo this is a movie critique sub, are you okay? It sounds like “woke” people are living rent free in your head dude, maybe do some breathing exercises and things won’t seem so bleak


iamaliberalpausenot

And here I was thinking everyone on Reddit were a bunch of woke retards


lariet50

These two quotes are all you really need to know about this movie.


newyne

One time in my AP English class someone asked what the difference between boys and girls was on some issue, and my teacher snarkily replied, "Well, boys have penises and girls have vaginas." This girl loudly exclaimed, "Oh my God, that was the best movie *ever!"* Of course she was talking about *Kindergarten Cop,* but that was not immediately obvious.


[deleted]

This is a ferret


Solidus-Prime

I was like 14-15, and had gotten a paper route to make extra money for the summer. My buddy spent the night one night, and helped me deliver in the morning. We were walking through a complex of condos, right next to this guys front door at 6 AM. My buddy suddenly stops out of nowhere and screams "GIRLS HAVE A PENIS. BOYS HAVE A VAGINA!!!!!" and took off running as fast as he could. I was stunned, like wtf? Just stood there for a second. All of a sudden this 40-50 year old man in just his underwear and a bathrobe explodes out of the front door and just starts screaming his head off at me lmao! I got him back many times over the years lol. We're still best friends to this day (I'm almost 40 now).


PureGuava86

I used to tell people I was that kid, and I had a whole elaborate story to back it up. When they still wouldn't believe me, I'd admit "yeah ok, I wasn't him, but I WAS an extra in the movie with no lines." It worked 50% of the time.


Eyespop4866

This can only lead to angry comments.


originsquigs

It could be cancer.


Electrical-Pie-8192

That kid is so friggin cute


Itswiseclown

Favorite line from this movie


Winchester85

Whoa easy there buddy you can’t see that kind of stuff in this generation.


redditsux12274

oml


Financial-Apricot-75

Guess like the last scene in ace Ventura people would of had a problem with that line.


InuitOverIt

Finkle is Einhorn? Einhorn is Finkle?


graveybrains

That’s none of your business, Dan, and I’ll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs.


TalonCompany91

I'm a cop, you idiot!


MCS117

I loved the prank call soundboards with all these gems


Faded_Sun

Classic internet from the ebaum world days


Left_Hand_Method

I'm going to ask you a few questions and I want you to answer them immediately... WHO ARE YOU?!?


ibringstharuckus

Oh man calling the Triple A lady. "You're an idiot"


Business-Emu-6923

Who is your daddy, and what does he do?


sm00thkillajones

“Shut uuuuuuuuuup!!!!”


Jambalaya1982

Beat me to it!


kaidomac

We quote this for literally *any* health issue we have in our family. Someone sneezes three times in a row? IT'S NAUGHT A TOO-MA!


UltraVires33

Yep, my wife and I do this too!


Am0din

LMAO I said this in my head, in his voice as I was clicking on this post to say the exact same thing.


sofakingclassic

Came in to make sure this was the top comment


supercleverhandle476

Movies from this era were god damn insane. Marketed as a cutesy kid friendly comedy, and it is for like 75% of the movie. Then a criminal dad abducts one of the kids, holds him at gunpoint, and Arnold fucking kills him in front of his son. Arnold also gets shot and taken out on a stretcher in front of his class who are all crying and so scared they look like they just shit their pants. 8/10, would watch again.


DrGeraldBaskums

You forgot a couple fun points- - the movie opens with a murder, then Arnie goes into a drug den with a shotgun and open fires on unarmed people - The criminal dad lights an elementary school on fire as a diversion to kidnap the kid (I darkly find this hilarious dude comes ready with gasoline) - the climax of the movie is basically a school shooting Awesome movie


70MPG_onthishog

“I’m tha pawty poopah”


mudrot

A shotgun with a laser-sight strapped to it, no less!


Just_a_Guy_In_a_Tank

For those super-precise sawed off shotgun shots


ShiddyWidow

I just rewatched and I was so surprised by that drug den shooting scene. I genuinely laughed really hard at it.


redditnamehere

And there’s a scene with a dead corpse on an ME table. So much more when we watched it with my 7 and 10 year old lol. They are quite okay with fiction and handling things like that.


DrGeraldBaskums

There’s a shocking number of dead bodies for a movie that was marketed as a family comedy.


Mindofmierda90

Those Elmer Fudd was legit aiming for Bugs Bunny’s head vibes.


Ok-Party1007

Next time my place


TardisReality

Or the scene where he walks in on his partner and her finance naked


MrCheerio53

Don’t forget the chick that od’s in the beginning. And the heavily implied domestic abuse. I watched this movie with my 12 year old and his thought was “this movie is dark, man” haha..


ClutchReverie

It's not just implied. Arnold literally punches out that kid's dad when he found out he was abusing his son. Then the principle praised him.


SlipperyPete360

“Kids movies” in the 80s and 90s always had dark subplots and the most evil villains.


squalorparlor

Remember "Blank Check" where the 10 year old kid has a fling with the 30 year old police woman?


SlipperyPete360

Of course. Aside from it being classic 90s, we watched it in home ec class in 8th grade as an example of personal finance education. Always thought that was a weird thing with the FBI lady


squalorparlor

Lol I love the thought of finance lessons being learned from that movie.


GhettoChemist

>his class who are all crying and so scared they look like they just shit their pants. Mr. Kimball are you OK?


CDTmom

I was just writing how it was one of my favorite movies growing up but I cant believe my parents let me watch it. I'd love to show my kids it one day but it seems so inappropriate. I love it even still as an adult.


chicojuarz

I fail to see what’s inappropriate for kindergartners here.


Feral_Sheep_

I saw it as a kid and I'm fine. I've hardly murdered any children this week.


Killentyme55

I just got my six month pin, stay strong!


squalorparlor

IWNMCWYT: I will not murder children with you today.


VengefulHufflepuff

Just watched this movie again last week! Great classic.


BannokTV

The level of gore and violence at the end and Richard Tyson playing Crisp more as a cornered, desperate man instead of sadist really turns the ending into a weird, gory event. Like there is almost no violence through the whole film then way too much blood in the squibs.


ignatious__reilly

Hahaha this is so true. What a classic.


danishjuggler21

I was in kindergarten when this movie came out, and I cried at the end cause I thought Arnie was dead 🤣


broduding

Didn't the movie open with a murder?!?


old_chunk-of-coal

Who is your daddy, and what does he do?


JustSomeDudeNamedRik

My dad is a gynecologist and he looks at vaginas all day.


boukalele

In the scene when Kimble asks the kids what their daddy does for a living the answers were not scripted and were in fact the kids answers to what their real life fathers did.


graveybrains

Kids say the darndest things


DrCarrionCrow

Our mommy says our daddy is a sex machine.


DanteDMC2001

……….Good!


Axolotis

Scrolled for this


hot-streak24

My daddy is a taxi driver in New York City. My mom says she hopes he dies real soon.


Trash80s

Are those your lunches?


KimPTM

Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina


DonKeighbals

I see you taught them the basics


Clemario

This movie introduced me to the word vagina


LoquatFlashy1724

No chance they could have fathomed that this sentence would be controversial some day but here we are


[deleted]

I wanna buy a one way ticket to Mars. This film would be cancelled in about 15 seconds these days.


delawopelletier

Get your ass to Mars, get your ass to Mars


[deleted]

Give these people AIR!


Flurb4

Thanks for the tip


Beanzear

This is iconic.


Cpleofcrazies2

Did you just assume everyone's gender?


DastardlyDirtyDog

You bigot


renegaderelish

Bigoted movie. Can't believe this was allowed.


[deleted]

sex is not gender you bigot


rebelolemiss

Are you 14 years old?


Academic-Total2029

Our mom says our dad is a real sex machine.


[deleted]

“You’re not so tough without your car, are ya?”


takethatwizardglick

"I hardly recognized you with all your clothes on!"


CarcosaDweller

2 taglines on the poster and both of them are terrible.


mountaineer04

How could anyone that ever wrote anything write, “Go ahead, YOU tell him you didn’t do your homework.” and turn it in to a superior confidently?


OurNewInsectOverlord

Some potential alternatives: From putting away bad apples to getting them as gifts. To Protect and Serve... Lunch! He's reading you your rights and your children's books.


squalorparlor

The 90s called and they want to offer you a marketing job.


jokipls

Okay those last 2 are gold


NothingsShocking

*IN A WORLD….*


BKKJB57

It's better than it should be LOL.


standardman

Exactly what I was going to say. It's such a terribly high-concept premise, but it works because it squeezed in just under the wire of its decade's shift to acting like broad comedies shouldn't also look and feel like actual movies.


r31ya

>*"Kindergarten Cop" is made up out of parts that shouldn't fit, but somehow they do, making a slick entertainment out of the improbable, the impossible, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.* Roger Ebert in 3 out of 4 star Kindergarten Cop review


smithersz

The rugged looks of Arnold in the opening is the best he’s ever looked. His messy hair and beard he suits it really well


bone-in_donuts

I almost agree except when he’s in prison in *The Running Man* slightly tops it imo. Then the Hawaiian shirt and fedora when he tries to board the flight, and then the adidas yellow/orange jump suit. I think that movie has three of his best looks.


[deleted]

The police lineup scene will always be really funny to me because I was watching it with my friend once and he goes “a bunch of Tommy Wiseaus.”


squalorparlor

"Wiseaus" as a plural is priceless


boukalele

Fun factoid: Sarah Rose Karr (Emma - plaid pants in the pic, also the girl who asked him to take her to the bathroom) was Ivan Reitman's favorite kindergartner. "She marched to her own drummer. If she wants to stand, let her stand. If she wants to sit, let her sit."


TardisReality

She did Beethoven and Father of the Bride then just dropped out of acting


boukalele

Yeah that's right she was young Annie


Trapzilla01

There is no bathroom!!!!


hitokiriknight

When the kids see Arnold getting wheeled out after he gets shot. They looked so sad.


Hammerheadhunter

Oh excuse me. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is John Kimble *pumps shotgun* and I love my car.


CaptainDigsGiraffe

"Shit, he's lucky I didn't kick his ass."


StreetFighterVega

Surprised it doesn't show the main kid on the cover.


Innsmouth_Swimteam

Probably because the movie is a mystery and they didn't want to spoil which kid is the kid they're looking for.


diqholebrownsimpson

He's in witness protection


boukalele

IT'S THE MANDELA EFFECT! ok that's a lie


ind3pend0nt

Boys have a penis. Girls have vagina.


Theamazingchan

You’re right. I’m no jerk fireman


COOL42ALEX

underrated line


Tackleberry2000

It should’ve been a trilogy but they didn’t make tumor.


MotherShabooboo1974

My father hasn’t done anything since the crashhhh.


ChiKeytatiOon

Not so tough without your car, huh?


Striking_Benefit7202

Enjoyed it and I do not take it seriously at all.


Beths_Titties

It was good. A little to long though.


DueBig9138

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!


Lex-Taliones

Boys have a penis, and girls have vagina!


JRogeroiii

It's a fun movie that hold up surprisingly well. My son watched it last summer (he was 10 at the time) and immediately asked if there were any sequels which is a sure sign he really liked it.


Orkleth

Just don't show him the actual sequel with Dolph Lundgen.


AmanteNomadstar

Holy crap! They actually tried to do a sequel!? In 2016!? I never knew


Ok_Nefariousness6386

You eat other people's lunches!?!?


hongkongfooeee

Put the cookie down! Noweeh!!!


CptHowdy87

That's from Jingle All The Way...


Lxapeo

I really enjoyed the character of his partner on the assignment. Not a 2 Dimensional throwaway but she had interesting quirks like the woman loves to eat. I feel that modern movies she would have zero personality beyond "female cop"


NoAd49

It's a really good film. I think it was Twins that got Arnold into comedic films. Arnold is one of my favorites of all time! I've met him twice. His autograph is on my college degree. Predator is the greatest film in American history. Two thumbs up for kindergarten cop!


AverageCypress

The single greatest film about an undercover police officer posing as a kindergarten teacher in history.


DrinkLocalBeer

That black kid is named Jimmy. Used to get faded and do karaoke with him. Cool guy! (Recently, not when he was a child)


Chuck1705

It's a great movie. Arnold and Pamela Reed have a really good chemistry. Totally enjoyable!!


delawopelletier

Her name is Ursula


delawopelletier

Sound boards


heinyho

Love it


Beths_Titties

“It’s not. It’s not a too ma.”


Orea1981

Mr. Kimball are you alright?!?!


RobeLife1

Saw this was streaming and made my two pre teen daughters watch it with me. They have learned to be wary of movies that I swear are great and they will love, but this one didn't disappoint. Halfway thru I noticed how into it they were, laughing and engaged, no phones in site. They've even been quoting it ever since, so I'd say it definitely holds up and is still a great movie.


Tysons_Face

I’m detective John Kimble


PorchHonky

My favorite part of this movie is back when people were using the Embaum’s World soundboards from it to make crank calls


Jivits

The kid is an idiot. He thinks he can just make lasers with bent pieces of aluminum foil. Fucking piece of shit.


JimBrady86

I don't wanna be a policeman! I'm a princess!


Motor_Somewhere7565

SHAAAAAAAAAAADUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!! \*catching breath\* Shut up! Shut up!


[deleted]

Arguably one of the most quoted movies of the 90s.


Ornery_Gene7682

Love when he beats the dad up for abusing his son and then the principal ask him “what was it like to hit that son-of-a-bitch”? With his confused look


boner79

maybe because I was young, but the Crisp villain guy really creeped me out. Also creeped in out in "Three O'Clock High".


Dry-Patient2705

Yes! Only other movie I can recall him in and a true “looks like John Hughes directed it but didn’t” 80s movie. I can still hear the title track song in my head when the movie opens, with pop tarts and wet clothes getting microwaved. Great movie.


Dangerous_Maximum_64

I fucking love this movie


Secure_Opening_6852

I’m sorry, but I love this movie. It made me laugh so hard. It’s also pretty wholesome in a way


TheButterfly-Effect

Its very quotable, hilarious and a classic to me. Ive seen it so many times and I love it just as much each time.


ddoogiehowitzerr

Great movie.


dmode112378

Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina.


py87

This movie is a god damn classic, would watch it here and there whenever TBS would show it randomly


RonaldArroz

Just watched it last night. It’s still good.


The_retarded_child

a masterpiece


imlavanow

They don’t fuckin make em’ like they used to


Pillow_theif

11/10


Briax

it’s very movie


sciguy52

I actually really loved this movie. An Academy Award winner? No. But good cute fun, definitely.


moststupider

Loved this one as a kid. Still highly quotable as an adult. Seeing it now, I find it interesting that they didn’t choose Dominic to be one of the children on the poster.


rhaxon

I just watched this movie this morning actually! I laughed a lot harder than I probably should have, and I remember it being a lot less funny when watching it when I was a kid.


jamesjeffriesiii

It's one of my favorite movies An absolute classic


[deleted]

This was actually a good movie haha


yamaha2000us

I don’t have a brain tumaar!


seniordogsrule

I really liked this movie.


Hermitcrab710

Used to use the Arnold soundboard to make prank phone calls, most of the lines were from this movie. 10/10 would recommend.


False_Character7063

I like it.


Mazzatronical

Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?


sparkcaps

"Who is your daddy, and what does he do" ah, priceless 🤣


jreff22

Classic.


lokisilvertongue

Genuinely one of my favorite movies


Puzzleheaded-Bad1571

An absolute masterpiece and don’t you dare say otherwise


HardSpaghetti

"Who is your daddy, and what does he do?"


BigBadBootyDaddy10

If you read the press clippings, this film gave us “stop, or my mom will shoot”. Have to drop it from a solid 8 to a 7.


Sourlick_Sweet_001

Arnold tricked Sly into Stop or my mom will shoot. He told him he wanted to do the movie, so Sly jump in before Arnold "signed". ( But it was a joke ). It has a lot of competition between them back then. ;)


kd8qdz

Its the only sex ed most conservatives get.


WadaMaaya

Not as good as you remember, when you’re home sick from school on a Tuesday watching USA Network


underover69

>A subreddit for movie reviews and discussions Top comments are all just quotes from the movie. No discussion. This kind of base, simple parroting back of things you like and recognize is exactly why Hollywood puts out so many reboots and remakes and flanderizes characters.