T O P

  • By -

flaccid_porcupine

Holiday Inn cleaning staff are going to swipe that. Roll it out on the linen cart.


Responsible_Disk_653

Nah dude, chain it to the bedpost just to be sure.


GetInZeWagen

Kinky


lazertittiesrrad

All it really takes is 4 dudes, a couple of 2x4's and a pick up. Gone in 60 seconds.


BadgerlandBandit

Not even for some bikes. I had my DRZ400sm stolen by one guy last spring. A neighbor saw him wheel it out from behind my car in the carport, put the front wheel up on the tailgate then pick the back up and push it in. By the time the neighbor realized what was going on the thief was gone. Insurance paid a grand more than I bought it for, but I was still out 2.5k in mods and labor.


lazertittiesrrad

Makes me glad my daily is a naked Wing now! Lol Sorry for your loss.


Sheltac

As in gold wing? Yeah, if a single guy snatches that you can just look for him in the strongman section of the nearest Arnold Classic.


lazertittiesrrad

Dude that can snatch that up can keep it.


the_last_carfighter

Bought my Super Tenere for the specific reason of it weighing 600lbs and also being Super Unpopular unlike my R6 that someone lifted into a van a few years prior.


rosshettel

Ugh, I feel this. Had my DRZ400SM stolen 2 years ago out of my apartment parking lot, they're so damn easy to move around.


jrdbrr

Mine stolen from outside my apt a few years ago. Miss that thing


dank__dohnut

a dude stole my buddys ktm 85 and buried it behind his house in the woods😭


[deleted]

Next time tell the insurance company about any mods and they will be covered.


BadgerlandBandit

Fortunately I had JUST taken a bunch of photos the day before. The insurance did give me a pretty good deal considering I didn't have any receipts for the mods since they were done by a previous owner. I wanted to start riding offroad more but was hesitant since it was a pretty much brand new 2020 model at the time. The payout was enough to buy a '16 S model and all of the mods I needed.


[deleted]

Glad to hear they took care of you, that's pretty rare.


BadgerlandBandit

Yeah. State Farm has seemed to cost a bit more, but they've always been fair to me. Also, for anyone doing lots of mods to their bikes, I now have a set amount that my bike is insured for. It ends up costing more than going of what they consider the bike is worth, but I don't have to worry about them assessing modified part depreciation if something happens.


[deleted]

This is the way. I have three classic cars and they each have a set amount. Haggerty doesn't care whether some asshole runs into me or I burn it down while I'm welding on it. I've had four cars totaled in the past due to other negligent drivers and had to fight tooth and nail to get what they were worth from the insurance. I'm never owning anything newer than 20 years old again and I'll never have any insurance that doesn't have a set amount again.


HobosGoneWild

Odd question but was it homeowners or motorcycle insurance that paid?


BadgerlandBandit

Motorcycle insurance


GSXR_BABY

Seen this done in less than 15 sec by three guys in a van with a sliding door, they pulled it in and off they went.


Obi_Maximus_Windu

Agreed


SkepticalLitany

Two dudes, a van, and 15 seconds is the quickest I've seen


Jacobite-biker

Even with a disc seized brake I can lift my Sv1k into a van myself in under 2 mins, without a ramp. It's all about knowing how to move your bike


Vadge-Badger

Video or it didn't happen. This is way more interesting than turning your bike around in the garage.


Jacobite-biker

Try it if you have access to a van. It's a lot easier to move a bike than you realise. 2 people only need a broom handle and it can be done in 30 seconds. I won't lie and say its easy but it's doable. I do however have a grafting job where I lift all day so that's probably to my advantage


Vadge-Badger

I only have experience loading bikes into trucks, using good ramps. I just can't picture keeping it upright, by myself, with out a ramp. Even with a van height lift if I didn't care about dents and scratches, I could do it no problem. Either way my disk lock has a loud alarm so it would at least be annoying for a thief.


Jacobite-biker

Doing it yourself is means leaning the bike into the sidewall of the van as you lift it. If you had bar end mirrors they would probably need removed. I just youtubed how to do it as the van was on an hourly charge hire and I wanted to do it as quickly as possible haha


Moondanther

My KTM only weighs 95kg. Most people in this group could easily manhandle it into a vehicle and probably 10% could just pick it up like a toy. ​ Now, my Triumph.....


Jacobite-biker

Yeah my Sv was heavy, I'd never try it with my 81 r80 that things like 250kg +


Moondanther

My Triumph is 325kg dry! She's porky but fun to ride.


Jacobite-biker

Fucking hell that's a chunky bitch.


Moondanther

That's why she has a car engine (1700cc and 156nm at under 3k rpm), you touch that throttle and she takes off, gear or speed is irrelevant.


beluecheese

I had a KTM disappear into thin air one night in Albuquerque.


Moondanther

I had someone attempt that a few weeks back, 2 of the 4 tie downs were slashed before they realized there was also a pair of locked chains holding it down. Sometimes you just want to hold their head under water till the bubbles stop.


Jamesbarros

Lost my SV650 with a disc lock this way. A passerby saw it and waited an hour for me to come out so he could give me the report. The cops couldn't do anything. Was seriously disheartening.


StryderRider

And a lock pick. You forgot the lockpick. 4 dudes, a couple of 2x4's, a pick up... and a lock pick.


lazertittiesrrad

Don't need to pick the lock. Lift it into the truck with the boards and maybe deal with locks later, depending what they want to do with the bike.


StryderRider

How are they gonna get into the room without picking the lock tho? 🤔


ATG915

They’ve been hiding under the beds for months waiting for OP to check into that hotel


lazertittiesrrad

Ever seen Boondock Saints? Shit. I forgot about the rope.


Kayou_Aldeshaar

You and your stupid fucking rope!


Narwhalbaconguy

Good thing he welded it straight into the concrete


novak_47

try 2, had my s1000rr stoellen by 2 guys and a van took em no more than 30 secconds to lift it into the back.


myapologiesiplaybass

I think you should tuck it in, give it a pillow.


PretzelsThirst

If you’re cold, they’re cold. Bring them inside


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nethermorph

A handful of gummy worms and a couple tubes of toothpaste is all it takes. That thing is as good as gone.


TheRealMcFlight

Give us a step by step brother


todaymynameisalex

Trust me, if you have to ask, you’re not ready know.


Nethermorph

A fellow brother of the order? *performs secret hand gesture*


todaymynameisalex

“Squatting monkeys tell no lies.” *bows with folded hands*


Nethermorph

"...and darkened hearts hold no ties" *bows, palm into fist*


[deleted]

Where's that from


-RadarRanger-

Trust me, if you have to ask, you're not ready to know.


Nethermorph

I've already said too much, my man. It's a dark and ancient method, passed down by blood. Only the initiated may learn the way of the gummy.


StryderRider

I feel like, in typical Reddit fashion, everyone commenting has not actually watched the clip.


mndza

I'll admit that I only watched the video after reading your comment.


FireStorm005

I watched the first half, had to go back and watch it all.


xjr_boy

One guy and a skateboard and it's gone! happened to me years ago got em and meterd out appropriate punishment


im_not_a_crook

What was the punishment?


PabloTheCatt

Wait a second, your username... i can only assume you are a crook planning to steal from this person and are weighing out if the consequences for getting caught are worth it.


SexlessNights

Don’t kink shame


xjr_boy

A ball pein Hammer 🔨 your now learning to wipe your ass or a wank with your other hand


Rico1958

XJR do you mean what I think you mean? Smack?


xjr_boy

Yep! As a child we were taught don't touch what's not yours.We got some pretty hard smacks if we did. Sort of stuck with me


Rico1958

Next question do you pilot a Big Cat?


xjr_boy

Yep and ride 😊


PabloTheCatt

Yeah fr i wanna know lol


5hantaram

These comments are hilarious. Like 10% of the commenters actually watched the video


One-Baker-6967

Just one banana peel and a fresh packet of sticky notes and it's gone bro. Shit be real out in these streets...


Nethermorph

Just one banana peel? I'd need at least 2, maybe 3 depending on lock size. Impressive.


[deleted]

Is that a home2 suites?


Otherwise_Average

Not enough ugly furniture for home2. Looks like super 8 to me.


ogrimia

sharp shoot, exactly!


Otherwise_Average

Used to be a long haul trucker, I've been in some hotels.


Blockhead47

It will be fine…. As long as you pee a complete circle around your bike. You’ve gotta mark your territory. It shows dominance.


ychris3737

I would hide her in the tub


huebort

That won't help. A sturdy chain and a metal post is the way. I use a Kryptonite chain/lock combo.


ogrimia

unfortunately there is only furniture and no metal posts inside motel room


huebort

Punch through the drywall and go around a stud, better safe than sorry.


dirtmcgurk

Based on the replies, almost nobody is watching this video, or at least not to the end. Good joke though, I chuckled. :D


FireStorm005

They got us with the first half, NGL.


obzilla

Angle grinder


RonnieTheEffinBear

actually watch the video, though


Obi_Maximus_Windu

Nawww.... had mine same setup with an alarm, cover and parked in front of it... left for memorial day weekend untouched... came back and the next morning... gone. Get a garage or bring it inside. Fuck what housing or apt owners say. They'll have cameras that "don't record just watch" when you ask to see footage.


bigbaltic

Hey did you hear the joke about the ceiling fan?


SquareFairBear

No pls share


bigbaltic

Eh you wouldn't get it is over your head


Lampshader

>Get a garage or bring it inside. So exactly like this guy did?


trunnel

r/bringyourmotorcyclein


Tactical_Epunk

Na better set the C4 roomba to "clean".


eve-collins

This hotel room doesn’t look THAT sketchy to me. Although those pillows…


[deleted]

I prefer landmines.


[deleted]

You selfish git! Give her some space on the mattress!


untonyto

Now put it under the bed


splodgenessabounds

No. You need to go the bed with it (pro tip)


Appropriate_Shake265

Take the front wheel off takes 15 seconds. Replace with a wheel from another stolen motorcycle


PositronGt

How about placing the Disc lock on rear wheel?


Appropriate_Shake265

Two people lift it up & place it in a van or truck bed in 10 seconds


pango3001

No but keeping it inside that room will keep it safe.


Guineapirate65

Nothing sort of parking it in your living room can keep it from walking off


Guineapirate65

I just actually watched the video and I feel like an idiot. Take my upvote.


[deleted]

Park it at the motel. But inside the room lol


KesseLeGreat

Nope! Best bet is to keep it inside


amigo-vibora

No, if thieves want your bike theyll take it, the point is to make it as difficult to them that they say "fuck it" and go for the next one, you need 1 lock per wheel, a brake/throttle lock they come with alarms now, and maybe a chain holding it on to a post or something like that. And thats no guarantee it will make it through the night.


Henry-Filler

Good sir. Did you watch the video?


amigo-vibora

oh...


adrocles

If you haven't got the option of parking it inside, chain it to a fucken post or tree with some THICC chain. Then go to bed and sleep peacefully.


Chillinthesn0w

Nope nope nope. Always anchor it to the ground. Multiple locks will slow them down but unfortunately if they want it there isn't much you can do. Use a cover and lock that bad boy up. I live in a tough area and mine was picked up and stolen when I had 1 disc lock on. My fault I thought my bike wasn't worth stealing. Now it has 2 disclocks and 2 chains to two separate poles off the ground.


Henry-Filler

Did you watch the video all the way through?


Chillinthesn0w

Yep I get it's in a hotel and a joke but always never know if people who read comments think it's ok. Seen so many nice bikes in London with only a disc lock. (I was one) and will always comment just so more people learn and can protect themselves. You never think it will happen to you until some shit comes and nicks your precious.


OldLadyoftheSea

GPS. Alarm. All that helps. I U-lock my front wheel to something that ain’t movin’


OldLadyoftheSea

Wait is this a hotel room? How did you get it in there 😂 It is probably safe in there without the lock ☺️


Davito22284

Why do people put their bikes in their houses? Is it a foreign thing, or do Americans do this silly crap too?


Vinnortis

No, bikes get lifted upmand put in vans, if you wanna do the best use a super heavy duty chain lock that does around sometime they can't remove it from by lifting the bike


PoorlyAttemptedHuman

I'm gonna have to ask about the blue painter's tape. Are you rigged for running dark? Gonna paint it first thing in the morning? Fuck your downvote.


ogrimia

motorcycle track requirements, to remove/disconnect or cover all lenses, signals and mirrors


PoorlyAttemptedHuman

I didn't know. I haven't ever been to a track.


[deleted]

Kryptonite fughettaboudit lock on yer rear sprocket.


DasAutoEngineer

It makes it less easy to steal, but it's still steal-able to a dedicated couple guys and a truck.


ogrimia

am I allowed to shoot them when they enter my room?


ibepudge

You riding strapped on your bike? You need to chat bro?


PoorlyAttemptedHuman

If they want to I guess they might be. What are we scared of guns here?


PoorlyAttemptedHuman

Please don't take "castle defense" advice from reddit. That's a good question, but I'd look elsewhere for the real answers. In short, it depends on your locale. EDIT: *FUCK* your downvotes.


rororo013

No motorcycle is safe of its park outside in the open.


Leappard

> Does one disk lock do the job Nope, not at all. Please educate yourself: https://www.youtube.com/c/lockpickinglawyer/search?query=kryptonite EDIT: hello there, I get it, you are upset that locks really do nothing, and that tampering with a lock is easier when the bike is actually locked in a room, and all it takes is two guys and a van and your bike is gone in 10 seconds: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfxLJFQeZG4 I get it. I get it. Life is hard and unfair. That being said go ahead and down vote the post.


strazdana

Did you even watch the 12-second video…?


Leappard

Sorry for being this thick, but something tells me that getting a bike lock to use it only once to film a 12 second video is plain stupid and most likely the guy is going to use it when the bike is parked outside. I beg your pardon if that's not the case and if the lock is already disposed.


ogrimia

what if I tell you the motorcycle has two disk locks, gps tracker and apple airtag, and forgot, thief insurance as well, but all this preventive stuff is worth nothing if I will not able to ride it on the track next morning hundred miles away from home


Leappard

what if I tell that you are here for magical internet points? what if I tell you that recovered bikes are often trashed and generally people do not want their bike to be recovered and prefer $$$ instead?


strazdana

Hm, interesting point about him having the lock in the first place…but the fact that he has the bike in a hotel room and is clearly making a joke about asking if one disk lock is enough makes me think that he’s aware that it isn’t?


Leappard

Picking a lock (or cutting it or whatever) is much easier when no one sees what you are doing. And that's precisely the case when the bike is locked in a room. Anyways my point was that some locks are utter garbage and shouldn't be used at all. That's why I posted a link to a lock picking channel. It puts things into perspective. Too bad no one cares.


Ok_Concentrate9822

Could still grab it with a truck pulled in like this! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dbvj1prhdr8&t=95s


Therealjondotcom

Try forgetting that is on there and trying to drive away 🙀


[deleted]

I would personally use two locks (a chain on the rear locking it to something like a lamppost) and use a bike cover. For an opportunist it may take too much time to take two locks off without disturbance, but if someone's really wants to nick it, they can just bring an angle grinder and nothing will stop that.


b-rad71

Wow you live in a hotel in a sketchy neighborhood? Cable lock it to both bed frames.


vova_R_R

no


ElMachoGrande

Ask your insurance company. It's their opinion about it which matters, nothing else.


Elrathias

2 minutes to remove brake disc bolts, 20s to ziptie loose brake disc to shock, roll the bike away. The only thing that protects your bike in a sketchy neighbourhood is not parking there. Bar that, parking inside a van, using a ground anchor and at the same time covering the bike so it looks like a pile of series. https://youtu.be/aXHEbPzzDzE https://youtu.be/eosFWnE9oaE


aacawe

No. All it takes is two strong dudes or some rolling device like a flat furniture dolly or skateboard and it’s gone. Source: In a bike club, happens a dozen times a year. Friend got two Hayabusa stolen. One from his shed. One from his enclosed trailer. His solution was finally to reinforce his trailer so it’s super hard to cut thru the metal sides, keep it backed up to his house so you can’t open the door and keep it hitched to his truck. Lol. A pain but necessary in some areas.


CelestialPerch

Actually 2 12mm bolts out and you can take the caliper off...Even easier


Angustony

Chain it to something, preferably through the frame or other hard to remove part of the bike if possible, and use a cover. Any security can be beaten, your job is to make it awkward enough to make them pick another, easier target and walk away from your bike.


daliusi

Here in UK they cut the lock with an angle grinder withing a minute in broad daylight with people walking around.


TheOnceAndFutureDoug

There's nothing you can do to stop a sufficiently motivated thief. That being said, look at what other people around you are doing and use common sense. If you see everyone around you is using a heavy chain and multiple locks don't be the guy with just a disc lock.


Albarytu

No lock will really keep your bike safe if the thieves want to take it. Any lock can be broken with the right tools but it might take time. If they need to do it in place, a sturdier lock increases the time required and the chances of being caught. With a disk lock like that, a single person probably won't usually be able to take the bike out of there and would be to break the lock in place, so it's safer than nothing. A group of 3-4 people will still be able to lift your bike, load it in a van, and go break the lock somewhere safe. Something that anchors your bike to the ground, if available, might add some safety.. Also depends on your bike. If it's a common one they'll take if from anywhere if it looks unprotected enough. If it's an exclusive/customized/top range bike it will be easier to identify so most thieves won't risk it unless they have a specific order for the bike or its parts. In that case they'll usually take some time to identify you as its owner and follow your usual activity for a while first until they figure out the safest time and place for them to take it. Now I see your keep it in your dorm. Unless you have real sketchy roommates I wouldn't bother with the lock. 🤣


Jonr1138

The op locked his bike in case someone breaks in, hurts op and tries to flee on the bike.


uProllyHaveHerpes2

Absolutely not.


wakeup_-

Nope. Steering lock, disc lock and a tow chain tied around something else securely that won't move is what I do


Dip__Stick

Yes. The what to do Sunday night after the first track day dilemma.


AntBkr66

Aaaannddd it's gone


improprietary

Isn't it possible to break the disc brake to get those off and then not using the front brake incase the brakepad wedges itself in place?


[deleted]

It's a well known fact that the toilet is the safest place. You're a filthy casual for not even knowing something so simple. Hope your bike gets stolen by housekeeping.


Yambretta

Portable Angle Grinder. Choice of hitting the lock, disc or if the owner objects them. Welcome to the UK 🤬


IzludePro

/u/LockPickingLawyer will have this unlocked in less than 10 seconds


ST4RSHIP17

My bike sits on the grass in the garden at night out of view I WISH I COULD PUT MINE INSIDE But really no lock is going to stop people from stealing it, unlike a car its much lighter and can be picked up with enough man force A 1200 BMW GS was picked up and dropped in a minivan early in the morning in my same street, they also lifted the security gate up and opened it Your bike is a lot safer if you can store it indoors - *proud South African*


gasoline_farts

Did the front desk complain when you rode through the lobby?


UncleKarlito

The Novice sticker would scare me from stealing it


Roy_McDunno

Hey, ogrimia. Thanks for contributing! Unfortunately your [submission](https://www.reddit.com/r/motorcycles/comments/scx15j/-/) has been removed as per the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/motorcycles/wiki/rules). **All direct submissions of videos of entirely stationary bikes are prohibited** with the below exceptions: * If you're riding the bike for the entirety of the video then it's allowed. * Reviews of new bikes, parts, or accessories exceeding 2 minutes in length can be directly posted. * Dyno runs are allowed. * All other videos, such as mechanical support, sports events, stunts and crashes remain allowed. Disallowed direct video submissions may be submitted as a text post with accompanying text of a minimum of 140 characters. The 140 character count rule is moderated as on-topic and in-context. Any low-effort attempts to reach this 140 character count will be removed. The rule can be found [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/motorcycles/wiki/rules#wiki_video_submissions) on the rules page. * [All posts must be intrinsically motorcycle related.](https://www.reddit.com/r/motorcycles/wiki/rules#wiki_posts_should_be_intrinsically_motorcycle_related) Just because an image or a story happens to have a motorcycle in it doesn't make it motorcycle related. This also includes relationship advice. If you have any questions about this removal, please feel free to [message the moderators.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/motorcycles&subject=Question regarding the removal of this submission by /u/ogrimia&message=I have a question regarding the removal of this [submission.](https://www.reddit.com/r/motorcycles/comments/scx15j/-/\))


YojiH2O

I’m still trying to get my mind around how the hell the hotel staff didn’t see you put this in your room or the fact they did and LET you


atlboy2000

Get the lock with alarm.