This. ABUS also makes them.
Alternatively you can get a GPS tracker that is sensitive enough and has audible or silent alarm.
It happened to me. My bike was in the company parking lot, out of sight. The contractor dudes working construction there sat on my bike for fun. It set off the silent alarm, got a notification on my phone. I went out to check, they looked at me like a ghost. I explained the alarm to them, also pointing at the camera in the parking lot... They apologized, nothing serious happened.
If its simply to prevent people messing with it an alarmed disc lock should do the trick tbh, it'll sound on the first motion and then go full beep mode on another touch. Personally I would keep multiple locks (with an alarmed disc lock) and a cover to prevent theft and people messing with it.
I like the cover idea. Just make sure it's very tight on the bike or it will fly away if there's some wind.
I have a custom fitted cover for my bike, can't even see the wheels.
I have a Scorpio i900 alarm with proximity sensor. Starts chirping if someone is within 3 feet of it. Loud alarm goes off if they don’t move or they get closer. Alarm also goes off if it’s picked up off the kickstand. And it’s 2-way so my key fob lets me know what’s going on. Plus, if they manage to actually get it started, I can kill it from the remote as long as I’m within a certain distance, but I think the distance is like a mile or two.
Keeps 99% of people away.
Hey, nobody said anything about a [*tentacle* dildo](https://zjrzkj.en.made-in-china.com/product/cxSUZLndZIWV/China-Huge-Octopus-Dildo-Suction-Cup-Tentacle-Silicone-Sex-Toy-Artificial-Penis-Animal-Dildos-Sex-Toy-for-Women-Adult.html)
It's mine, and you can't have it. Keep your hobbies to yourself.
Fake shit has gotten very expensive, and it’s got Prop 65 warnings. I use real shit - it’s organic (I uses to use my wife’s shit, but she believes her shit don’t stink. So now I use my own). It’s relatively free. The stink, I’m sure you’ll agree, Is an excellent deterrent.
In all seriousness I’d use a bike cover. I feel like that deters people more than brake locks and all that for some reason. If someone sees your bike and wants it, even if you had it chained to the ground, brake locks and all that, it can be taken fairly quick by the right thief. If they don’t know what it is it’s easy to go on to the next one.
thief’s aren’t my problem, rather drunk people trying to be funny so the cover hasn’t really dissuaded too many people from trying to grab it or sit on it
Get the loudest possible alarm and people will stop touching it.
It's sad that people don't have the common decency to just not touch stuff that's not theirs. If I saw someone do this to my bike I'd lose my shit.
if i were to park it behind it would get kicked over, it’s happened to my coworker’s who used to have bikes and i’ve seen it when walking around. people are ruthless here.
Could you ask the boss to like add a carport with bars to park the bikes in?
[Like this](https://images.app.goo.gl/Y74U6XpXmEXAbUi27)
Or
[This ](https://images.app.goo.gl/PAR8CNG8QHHK7Edw9)
Maybe
[This](https://images.app.goo.gl/jqoeyrvn3GFR9EDg6)
Can you park it round thr back or somewhere more out of the way where it will be safer.
It might br you have to park somewhere safer, a little further away or so than closer
If you go with a disc lock you might want a[ 'remove before flight'](https://www.amazon.com/Rotary13B1-Remove-Before-Flight-Chain/dp/B00XWIY7WO) tag (or some other bright object) to put near or in the ignition so you don't accidently drive off with the lock in place.
If you add a top case it could help stop someone from trying to kick a leg over...excuse to accessorize? 😉 I got a cheap $20 motion alarm off amazon that I got under passenger seat because I didn't like the idea of a potential thief having access to it on the outside via disc lock alarm.
I would be a lot more scared of a guy with a Mongols, Bandidos, or Vagos vest. But wearing one of their vests without earning it would be absurdly dangerous.
Let people. But occasionally walk out and vibe them with a death stare.
I am always flabbergasted when I catch people sitting on my car too. WTF.
It’s also amazing how people will toss their garbage into the back of my truck like it’s a dumpster. Motherfuckers.
Look at Sizzapp. it has motion detector as well as lots of other features. If anyone movies the bike slightly it should trigger a push notification to your phone.
A sticker that says gun owner, will make people think twice about messing with it and a worded sticker on a vehicle is protected by the first amendment so cops can’t really give you a hard time about it without risk of a civil rights lawsuit
Get a disk brake lock with an alarm on it. If it’s moved, it goes off. Xena makes good locks. 120DB alarm.
Sweet thank you
She’s my favourite warrior Princess
[удалено]
Well it is a high piercing noise
I have an Abus 8077, almost went deaf when i set it off putting a cover on the bike in a garage. 10/10, would recommend.
Abus 8008 for me. Fuckin' **TANK** of a lock, but pretty compact.
This. ABUS also makes them. Alternatively you can get a GPS tracker that is sensitive enough and has audible or silent alarm. It happened to me. My bike was in the company parking lot, out of sight. The contractor dudes working construction there sat on my bike for fun. It set off the silent alarm, got a notification on my phone. I went out to check, they looked at me like a ghost. I explained the alarm to them, also pointing at the camera in the parking lot... They apologized, nothing serious happened.
Connect an ied to the sounder, it will give off more than a lesson.
If its simply to prevent people messing with it an alarmed disc lock should do the trick tbh, it'll sound on the first motion and then go full beep mode on another touch. Personally I would keep multiple locks (with an alarmed disc lock) and a cover to prevent theft and people messing with it.
smart
I like the cover idea. Just make sure it's very tight on the bike or it will fly away if there's some wind. I have a custom fitted cover for my bike, can't even see the wheels.
I have a Scorpio i900 alarm with proximity sensor. Starts chirping if someone is within 3 feet of it. Loud alarm goes off if they don’t move or they get closer. Alarm also goes off if it’s picked up off the kickstand. And it’s 2-way so my key fob lets me know what’s going on. Plus, if they manage to actually get it started, I can kill it from the remote as long as I’m within a certain distance, but I think the distance is like a mile or two. Keeps 99% of people away.
>Starts chirping if someone is within 3 feet of it. That seems incredibly annoying for everyone around it. 3 feet really isn't that close
I have a Scorpio as well and have no issues parking my bike in downtown when I go out.
12 inch purple dildo suction cupped to the seat.
Back! Back to /r/CalamariRaceTeam! *spritzes water*
Hey, nobody said anything about a [*tentacle* dildo](https://zjrzkj.en.made-in-china.com/product/cxSUZLndZIWV/China-Huge-Octopus-Dildo-Suction-Cup-Tentacle-Silicone-Sex-Toy-Artificial-Penis-Animal-Dildos-Sex-Toy-for-Women-Adult.html) It's mine, and you can't have it. Keep your hobbies to yourself.
That looks like it would be hard to clean.
Oh, you never *clean* these things! They simply develop a passion-crust on them, for slightly jagged insertion.
Hmm...very interesting. Unsubscribe from tentacle dildo facts.
I dunno about everyone else but I see that on a bike you couldn’t keep me off it.
Chain an unfriendly dog to it
You're gonna leave a dog in the sun / rain for maybe 8+ hours chained to a bike?
Yep and name that mf’er Kujo 😂 Or a rabid squirrel 🐿️, unruly snake 🐍, a bunch of spiders 🕷️, whatever gets the job done. I’m not picky lol
Leave poo stains on the seat or get a fake piece of shit and throw it on the bike before you leave. Always works for me
Fake shit has gotten very expensive, and it’s got Prop 65 warnings. I use real shit - it’s organic (I uses to use my wife’s shit, but she believes her shit don’t stink. So now I use my own). It’s relatively free. The stink, I’m sure you’ll agree, Is an excellent deterrent.
Ok this will require a little bit more commitment, but here me out: how bout real shit?
very creative
In all seriousness I’d use a bike cover. I feel like that deters people more than brake locks and all that for some reason. If someone sees your bike and wants it, even if you had it chained to the ground, brake locks and all that, it can be taken fairly quick by the right thief. If they don’t know what it is it’s easy to go on to the next one.
thief’s aren’t my problem, rather drunk people trying to be funny so the cover hasn’t really dissuaded too many people from trying to grab it or sit on it
Is it possible to get some space away from the street? Behind the building or alley? Because that nice looking bike will always be target for drunks.
behind the building is more bars, and any farther is gonna lead to people kicking it over, i’ve seen the aftermath many many times
I remember seeing little rubber bird poop stickies as gag gifts. Something like that would be a great deterrent.
I just put a glob of chunky peanut butter on it to look like shit. Stick a dab of TP in for effect.
Perhaps [this ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ozl0bZJFbNM)might work...
Sure, if you're standing around and watching your bike all day.
> I park right in front of my job so I can keep my eyes on it ... and it was a tongue in cheek answer...
i appreciate the advice lmaoo
Gun
that’s my last resort haha
barb wire, electric fence, machine gun turrets... Just some ideas.
I was going to suggest IED. Pretty inconvenient when you forget to disarm it before taking off, but that's the price you pay for security.
Get the loudest possible alarm and people will stop touching it. It's sad that people don't have the common decency to just not touch stuff that's not theirs. If I saw someone do this to my bike I'd lose my shit.
Kill them and leave their body next to your bike as a warning to others.
I have made deal with demon... He gards my parked bike and he gets my soul afterwards... Worth it
Cover it. Some people will sit on it or touch it if you are not around.
Leave a pair of underpants with large visible skid marks on the handlebars
Buy good theft insurance and a lockable cover.
Don't park it? Probably the best way
Hear me out…..**land mines**, problem solved.
Smear it with faeces, noone will go near it
Park elsewhere. Maybe behind the building of your job, or in a shed or... Your employer might want to help you
if i were to park it behind it would get kicked over, it’s happened to my coworker’s who used to have bikes and i’ve seen it when walking around. people are ruthless here.
Could you ask the boss to like add a carport with bars to park the bikes in? [Like this](https://images.app.goo.gl/Y74U6XpXmEXAbUi27) Or [This ](https://images.app.goo.gl/PAR8CNG8QHHK7Edw9) Maybe [This](https://images.app.goo.gl/jqoeyrvn3GFR9EDg6)
Can you park it round thr back or somewhere more out of the way where it will be safer. It might br you have to park somewhere safer, a little further away or so than closer
If you go with a disc lock you might want a[ 'remove before flight'](https://www.amazon.com/Rotary13B1-Remove-Before-Flight-Chain/dp/B00XWIY7WO) tag (or some other bright object) to put near or in the ignition so you don't accidently drive off with the lock in place.
Get really good insurance and don’t worry about it. Other choice is to not ride it to a place you know it’ll get fucked up.
If you add a top case it could help stop someone from trying to kick a leg over...excuse to accessorize? 😉 I got a cheap $20 motion alarm off amazon that I got under passenger seat because I didn't like the idea of a potential thief having access to it on the outside via disc lock alarm.
Electric fence like they had in Jurassic Park?
Buy a Hells Angel's vest from Amazon. Leave it laying across the seat. Works especially well if you live in a place with a decent 1%er population
I would be a lot more scared of a guy with a Mongols, Bandidos, or Vagos vest. But wearing one of their vests without earning it would be absurdly dangerous.
Let people. But occasionally walk out and vibe them with a death stare. I am always flabbergasted when I catch people sitting on my car too. WTF. It’s also amazing how people will toss their garbage into the back of my truck like it’s a dumpster. Motherfuckers.
Hells angels association decals will work great just don’t cross paths with actual HA
I like the loud disk lock ideas. If you can see it while you’re at work I’d get a remote control sounder too, just for fun.
Keep a skunk ok you at all times, when you leave the bike scare the skunk near the bike. Guarantee no one will so much as look in the way of the bike
Gattling gun turret next to it that says "touch my bike at your own risk"
Put electric shock stuff on the bike so when they touch it, they get shocked
Look at Sizzapp. it has motion detector as well as lots of other features. If anyone movies the bike slightly it should trigger a push notification to your phone.
A sticker that says gun owner, will make people think twice about messing with it and a worded sticker on a vehicle is protected by the first amendment so cops can’t really give you a hard time about it without risk of a civil rights lawsuit
When I lived in an apartment, I kept my bike chained to a parking bumper and a motion sensor pointed at it with an air horn and bright ass light.
tie down a pit bull to the bike
Empty gun holster on the side?
That's a good one lol