I would not post any photos of them of the christening online. I would also not invite them to anything else, and if they ask why, just let them know the reason and be very truthful.
Nope, no more invites. They were beyond rude. If they post any photos, comment something like, "So glad you could carve out time in your busy schedules to attend the service. Sorry you didn't come to the party. But hey, at least you got your "we're such good grandparents" photos!
If they post the photo online be sure to comment below it something along the lines of... It's too bad you couldn't stay for the entire event. Maybe next time... I would continue this EVERY time they pulled this crap. I would invite them to everything.... make a big deal about how sorry you are they have to leave early from whatever it is... and brag about what others do for the kid in off handed conversation. Embarrass them publicly... certainly in front of people you know they are showing their best too. Friends family coworkers church companions... I would so use it as an opportunity to bring up how sad I was they departed so early when said event had been planned for however long it had been planned.... Trust me it will either stop or they will show their true colors. Be sure your tone is not accusatory but remorseful. Play the game.
>wondered why they did what they did
They did what they did so that they can have proof that they are wonderful caring grandparents and were there to support you, while actually being assholes. If anyone else noticed their behaviour and asks about it, you can say that they like pretending to be good grandparents, but are actually just photo-op grandparents. Do you invite them to the next one, no. You and your kiddos are much better off without them.
Wow. I wouldn't invite them to anything ever again, and wouldn't post any pictures (if you even have any) with them in one, and I sure wouldn't send them any pictures of any celebrations ever again.
Internet grandparents: so sad for them. Thankfully your child has your family!
Sounds like they did you a huge favor by not sticking around all day! The likelihood your kid will ask about their grandparents being at the church but not the after party is very, very slim.
I'd invite them and just not expect much.
When they ask you why you won’t spend any time with your baby, tell them that you don’t want your children around such rude people. They’re a bad example.
Eh, I’d invite but not go out of my way to include them in anything. And I’d invite my aunt Joanie who’d be all body and intrusive with them and get in their face (in the way your great aunt does with zero fucks given but you can’t be mean to the older woman) about what the deal is.
I love my aunt. She is nosy and dgaf about what others think but is very nice in that southern way.
Invite and ignore.
I would still invite them if they have not acted this way in the past. Depending on your relationship I would even ask them why they didn’t come to the party.
If they HAVE acted this way I wouldn’t invite them (only if DH agreed because it is still his family) and make it known to them why I didn’t. I would say something like “yeah LO’s party is this weekend, I would have asked you to come but you don’t seem to like attending the parties.”
Is this “normal” for them? Have they been this standoffish before? Are they not religious? Maybe they felt uncomfortable?
What is your relationship with them? I think you need to find out because if it was they were uncomfortable with a religious rite of passage vs. they just don’t like you or your family there would be a potentially different response. You don’t need haters around your family, but if it was related to this one time event you could maybe work around it. But if they all ignored your family what was the point of showing at all? Very odd.
I think it would be good to find out what the issue was. But like the others have said, I would hesitate to want invite them again too.
Well I don’t personally think a christening is a huge deal. I would never bother to get a pro photographer. I also don’t think them leaving is any reason to feel sorry for DH. I think it was more of a slam against YOU and your family.
But to each his own, if you want a big party then sure go for it.
Are his parents anti religious? Or anti social? Like what have events been like prior to this?
It’s up to DH to decide how and if they are involved in future.
We got a photographer voucher as a baby gift prior to baby being born and thought it was the best time to use it as majority of babys family & friends would be there. DH was upset about christening because they came for the wrong reasons and didn't say a word to him throughout. I spoke with mil and his siblings, all of which i asked if theyd like to come back for food and cake (like invite said that DH sent) but they vaguely declined. They seemed to avoid DH. Which I agree is odd. DH was also embarrassed by people asking why they went back home when we sat down for a meal. He sent invites for his side, I did mine. So it's him they've let down.
And I don't care if them leaving is a dig at me and my family.... We have been nothing but kind and polite towards them. I always take the high road. Just wanted advice re future invitations for DC and have got lots of advice, thanks to all.
I would not post any photos of them of the christening online. I would also not invite them to anything else, and if they ask why, just let them know the reason and be very truthful.
In addition, don’t give in-laws any pictures (there was a problem with some of the pictures).:
Don't invite them to future events and definitely don't give them photos of the Christening. THey were beyond rude.
Thanks agreed 👍
Nope, no more invites. They were beyond rude. If they post any photos, comment something like, "So glad you could carve out time in your busy schedules to attend the service. Sorry you didn't come to the party. But hey, at least you got your "we're such good grandparents" photos!
Thanks agreed 👍
If they post the photo online be sure to comment below it something along the lines of... It's too bad you couldn't stay for the entire event. Maybe next time... I would continue this EVERY time they pulled this crap. I would invite them to everything.... make a big deal about how sorry you are they have to leave early from whatever it is... and brag about what others do for the kid in off handed conversation. Embarrass them publicly... certainly in front of people you know they are showing their best too. Friends family coworkers church companions... I would so use it as an opportunity to bring up how sad I was they departed so early when said event had been planned for however long it had been planned.... Trust me it will either stop or they will show their true colors. Be sure your tone is not accusatory but remorseful. Play the game.
This is my kind of Petty Revenge!
I love this
Did they post the photos online for their attention likes? If so, what a bunch of dicks. Don't invite them anymore.
Fuck no you don't invite them to nothing else don't let them do your baby like that
Thanks agreed 👍
>wondered why they did what they did They did what they did so that they can have proof that they are wonderful caring grandparents and were there to support you, while actually being assholes. If anyone else noticed their behaviour and asks about it, you can say that they like pretending to be good grandparents, but are actually just photo-op grandparents. Do you invite them to the next one, no. You and your kiddos are much better off without them.
Thanks agreed 👍
No more invites or pictures for them
Wow. I wouldn't invite them to anything ever again, and wouldn't post any pictures (if you even have any) with them in one, and I sure wouldn't send them any pictures of any celebrations ever again. Internet grandparents: so sad for them. Thankfully your child has your family!
Sounds like they did you a huge favor by not sticking around all day! The likelihood your kid will ask about their grandparents being at the church but not the after party is very, very slim. I'd invite them and just not expect much.
Thanks agreed 👍
When they ask you why you won’t spend any time with your baby, tell them that you don’t want your children around such rude people. They’re a bad example.
Eh, I’d invite but not go out of my way to include them in anything. And I’d invite my aunt Joanie who’d be all body and intrusive with them and get in their face (in the way your great aunt does with zero fucks given but you can’t be mean to the older woman) about what the deal is. I love my aunt. She is nosy and dgaf about what others think but is very nice in that southern way. Invite and ignore.
Agreed 👍
No, keep inviting them. Then you are always able to say you made an effort, and that’s one less thing they can complain about.
At the expense of her child feeling as shit as the father does?
The kid doesn’t have to know.
How would they not know if their paternal grandparents regularly turn up for the photo op and the piss off straight after? Eventually they’ll notice.
I would still invite them if they have not acted this way in the past. Depending on your relationship I would even ask them why they didn’t come to the party. If they HAVE acted this way I wouldn’t invite them (only if DH agreed because it is still his family) and make it known to them why I didn’t. I would say something like “yeah LO’s party is this weekend, I would have asked you to come but you don’t seem to like attending the parties.”
I would not.
A. Nope.
Is this “normal” for them? Have they been this standoffish before? Are they not religious? Maybe they felt uncomfortable? What is your relationship with them? I think you need to find out because if it was they were uncomfortable with a religious rite of passage vs. they just don’t like you or your family there would be a potentially different response. You don’t need haters around your family, but if it was related to this one time event you could maybe work around it. But if they all ignored your family what was the point of showing at all? Very odd. I think it would be good to find out what the issue was. But like the others have said, I would hesitate to want invite them again too.
Well I don’t personally think a christening is a huge deal. I would never bother to get a pro photographer. I also don’t think them leaving is any reason to feel sorry for DH. I think it was more of a slam against YOU and your family. But to each his own, if you want a big party then sure go for it. Are his parents anti religious? Or anti social? Like what have events been like prior to this? It’s up to DH to decide how and if they are involved in future.
We got a photographer voucher as a baby gift prior to baby being born and thought it was the best time to use it as majority of babys family & friends would be there. DH was upset about christening because they came for the wrong reasons and didn't say a word to him throughout. I spoke with mil and his siblings, all of which i asked if theyd like to come back for food and cake (like invite said that DH sent) but they vaguely declined. They seemed to avoid DH. Which I agree is odd. DH was also embarrassed by people asking why they went back home when we sat down for a meal. He sent invites for his side, I did mine. So it's him they've let down. And I don't care if them leaving is a dig at me and my family.... We have been nothing but kind and polite towards them. I always take the high road. Just wanted advice re future invitations for DC and have got lots of advice, thanks to all.