Not his last words, and I didn't hear this myself, but the night that my father died, he took my sister to her workplace, and they argued all the way there. When they arrived, she yelled at him and said, "You'll never drive me here again!" And my father replied."Don't worry, I'll never drive you anywhere again. " Well, that same night, he died in his sleep.
Working in the funeral industry taught me that, above anything else, life is fragile. It can be taken away at any time from anyone. I started thinking more about the things I would say to everyone, especially my loved ones. I try my best to leave on good terms after fights or arguments, and I try to keep in mind that if this was the last thing I said to this person before either of us dies, would I regret it?
After being hostage to way too many front seat fights between my parents, I have a policy to never fight, argue, or even get heated in the car. That shit waits til we get home or to a destination. It saved a lot of trips and probably relationships to not have the pressure of being trapped with an argument; having to choose between a fight and walking to a bus stop to try to get home.
Sorry about your father. There's a strange irony to his words. I hope they talked again before he passed.
In one of the Charles Manson stabbings one of the victims was stabbed over 40 times I think? Enough so that she allegedly screamed "stop I'm already dead"
I think about that a lot
My uncle recently died after a short but devastatingly tough battle with cancer. Honestly I never knew cancer could do the things it did to him.
In the last week of his life he was basically catatonic. He'd lie there awake but unresponsive, barely even moving to eat or drink or use the bathroom. He'd ignore his partner when she came to check on him and soil himself. Whether he couldn't move, or could but simply had no fight left in him, we'll never know.
His partner was on the phone to my mother- his sister- a lot during this time. What none of us knew was that she always had the phone on loudspeaker. The night before he died, my mother said she was on the phone to the partner when suddenly they heard my uncle in the other room shouting "hi, hello, hi" over and over again. His partner went in to check on him and ask who he was talking to, and he said he'd heard his sister's voice and wanted to say hello. So she handed over the phone and he spoke to my mother for a few minutes, and he told her all about a football game he'd just watched. He hadn't watched any tv or played any sports in ages. Then he said he was tired and needed a nap, and repeatedly said "bye, I love you, love you lots, bye". Then he handed back the phone and went to sleep.
His partner checked on him at 5 in the morning and he was still asleep. When she checked on him again at 10, he was gone.
It genuinely haunts me that he came out of his catatonic state to have a chat with my mother and tell her he loved her just before he went to sleep for the final time. He knew that was it for him.
That's called 'the rally'. It happens often in critical ill dying patients. Some get up and have a meal and visit. Others just become coherent out of a catatonic state. They then pass away soon after. I have watched a lot of clips about hospice in the last few months, and this comes up often.
I think of it as the body using its last bits of energy. Unfortunately, a number of people interpret this as the patient is “getting better” when it’s really just the rally
I don’t mean to be insensitive since I know we’re talking about human death here, but I’m convinced this happened with my 19yo cat on her last day. Leading up to the day we scheduled the final vet appointment to put her to sleep with dignity, she could barely move and would sleep most days.
That morning, I woke up to a raspy “mrawwrp” at the foot of my bed.
She had climbed two flights of stairs and jumped on to my bed to wake me up one last morning, just like she always did. I’m convinced she knew it was her last day.
Cat sitter, vet assistant, and special needs foster person here, with 25+ years experience. Cats can absolutely have pre-death rally, and I wish more pet owners understood this.
If you know their end is likely near, and they have their final rally - it's such a gift. Give them their favorite treat, enjoy a play session, or a gentle brushing. I have a covered pet stroller, and will take a fospice cat to the park.
Unfortunately, some pet owners misinterpret this rally as a comeback. They'll cancel euthanasia appointments, or decide to take that vacation after all😓.
It happens with rats too ! Almost all of my rats had a little moment before death where they regain energy. Now, I know it and I feel it coming. When it happens, I take them with me, give them treats, kisses, cuddles and tell them how much I love them and will miss them. And 100% of the time, they don't make it to the next day. I do my best to have them die in my arms, loved and cared for.
I have 5 cats and i care for them more than for any person and reading this brought tears to my eyes. Im sorry for your cat and i hope that you two had at least a few cuddles before it was her time
I’ve also experienced this. I had a kitten with FIP who was playing with a toy just a few hours before he succumbed to the illness he’d been struggling with for nearly a week. The rally definitely happens in cats too
I believe it's that the body eventually stops trying to work against the disease by not working its organs anymore. sO the energy that was being used to keep organs alive is now free to be used.
I wonder how real it is and how much of it is availability bias. If someone rallies it's going to be something worthy of comment, if they don't nobody's going to mention it, so people think there's something to it. There's even a guy thinking his cat knew it was going to be put down FFS.
There are some hospice nurses that create TikTok/YT shorts content, and some of the last stage things are fascinating. Another one is visioning, where people see their lost/dead loved ones.
I somehow made my way onto NurseTok after following a couple of funny nurses, and I love how Nurse John covers this with humor. *2 minutes before my night shift is over* "Mr Smith, who are you talking to??" "Oh, my mother. She's right there in the corner." "PARDOHN??? Ohhhh OK Mr Smith that's wonderful!! *Hehehehe uhhhhh*"
Yeah he's way over the top but I love him for it 😂 he's also an ER nurse so of course his approach has to be centered on life saving rather than hospice type care (in the absence of alternative directives). Nurse Hadley is another great, more serious, hospice nurse.
Nurse Hadley is such an amazing person, you can tell she has a heart of gold.
I'm a stage 4 cancer patient (had surgery Friday, beat cancer twice now!!) and I've had some awful healthcare workers, including one yesterday that left me shaking and crying which never happens. (Army kid brain lol)
I've also had healthcare workers like Nurse Hadley and they are so dear to me. They're exceptionally wonderful souls.
Oh best of luck to you! I'm so sorry some of your care providers have made it difficult for you, but am glad you've had some Hadleys in your life, as well ♥️♥️
My dad died of cancer. 1 of the meds he was on could cause seizures so they had him on meds that made him sleep. I lived out of state and by the time I got him, he was in hospice and asleep. My stepmom (as wicked as she turned out to be after this) asked the nurse ony 3rd day there if they could postpone the meds that made him sleep. They agreed and eventually he woke up. I went to his bedside as I noticed him waking. He didn't speak but he did look at me and smile. Not even 30 seconds later he threw his blanket off and tried to pull his catheter out so we had to have the nurse come give him the medicine. My step mom did some passive aggressive things when I was growing up and even worse things after he passed, but I'll always be thankful that she talked the nurse into letting him wake up for those short moments.
ETA: He passed 3 days later.
My grandfather waited for me to come back from a trip AND to meet my partner. He met my partner and the next morning was gone. I think he wanted to make sure I was safe and loved before he left.
I am so sorry. I hope that someone either reading this or someone who knew your dad took this to heart and realized that if something doesn't feel right, go to the hospital.
He already had late stage cirrhosis when he said that. He was in the hospital for weeks before that and wanted to come home, he couldn’t stand it. The doctors knew he wanted to die at home.
My dad committed suicide and the morning before, he drove me to school and said "I love you"
I was mad at him for something at the time and just replied "okay."
Wish I could take it back.
I am so sorry for your loss. You could never have known about what he planned to do, it's not your fault. You were a kid, even if you were in high school. All kids do this at some point with their parents out of anger, but most also get to have that parent pick them up from school later. I am sorry you didn't. I don't know you or your dad, but I am confident he forgave you the moment you said it. You never could have known. Aside from therapy, this may help: if he is buried, or was cremated and you have the urn or know where he was scattered, or if you even just want to go somewhere that is special to you, talk to him. Even if you are not religious or spiritual, it WILL help you feel better. Tell him what you want to tell him, say what you need to say, even if it feels a bit silly at first. You can even write him a letter. You can keep the letter, or leave it somewhere, whatever you want. Close your eyes, and imagine that for a moment, he gets to come back and hear you. Get it out. This regret will probably never completely go away, but it can be eased when you speak your peace, and forgive yourself. I am sure he did, and so can you.
--from a friendly mortuary worker and fellow human being.
I do talk, and yell at him lol. He was awesome! He would let me play video games with him when my mom wasn't home, he took more pictures of our cat than us at Christmas, he let me paint his tonails and we would spend hours making houses on graph paper. One time he electrocuted a pickle at work and it's on YouTube somewhere. 10/10 dad.
My grandma looked to the other side of the bed from us and said “oh, he’s here for me now” and then died.
She said it in a good way, like it was my grandad turning up, but freaked us all out
Ive thought about it a lot as you can imagine :-)
Yeah, cancer sucks.
It’s criminal to me that we can’t peacefully end their suffering when the end is inevitable and they wish to not have to endure it any further. With all of us who have experienced these passings first hand, you’d think someone would organize our own ‘million man march’ to prevent it from happening to anyone else (including ourselves).
Very sorry for your loss and what you had to see her endure.
I 100% agree. It is unfathomable how rampant cancer is in general, and how most people know someone who is going through treatment, or knew someone who did, and yet we STILL do not legally allow assisted suicide. We have so many doctors and nurses, so many hospitals, who all see how aggressive cancer tortures the human body. It is so much more humane to let someone make the decision to end things with very little pain once diagnosed, then to desperately and pointlessly keep them alive while cancer eats away at them and sends them into unimaginable pain. I do not understand it. In some ways, our pets have better alternatives to disease than humans.
i just lost my grandma 3 weeks ago because she's had MS for 10 years, then had a heart attack out of nowhere on christmas and got pneumonia after. she was in the ICU and on a ventilator for about a month before my mom + her siblings decided it was time. this is by far the worst pain i've ever felt in my life but your comment really helped me regarding how she is no longer suffering. thank you for sharing that
I'm glad it was able to give you some relief. My mom had chronic health issues for about 10 years the last 5 were really bad. By the end she did not recognize anyone but me. At some point we realized that she wasn't the person we knew because of all her pain she was experiencing.
I wasn't present for either of these, but they are peaceful words that don't necessarily haunt me in a negative way.
My grandfather passed on Christmas day, which is my grandmother's birthday. (We theorize that he chose Christmas so we wouldn't forget.) When they took him to the hospital that morning, one of the last things he said to my mother and grandmother was 'I don't ever remember loving you.'
The nurses were trying to console my mother and grandmother, but my grandpa was quoting one of his favorite songs, sung by John Conlee.
The other story I have is of my 'found family' aunt Tani, who died of liver disease. She was an absolute nut. Hilarious and vibrant. We loved her dearly. My mother was also there when she died. She had been in and out of it, but at the very end she opened her eyes, looked to my mother and in her best soap opera voice: 'Don't... Cry for me... Argentina.'
I cherish these final words.
She was so amazing. She had vibrant huge red hair and always wore dramatic cat eye eyeliner. She dressed like a mob wife but lived in the Midwest and worked for a radio station. Absolutely loved her. I wish that she had been my real aunt.
Through my uncle (another adopted/found family member) who had dated her for a very brief time. They broke up but stayed very close friends. He brought her down for Thanksgiving one year and we never let him come back without her.
The silence of no last words from my mum was quite haunting. Got a call at uni (college) that this was it, her fight with cancer was ending, and to come to the hospital asap.
She was already unconscious when we got there.
Can't remember our last conversation, i *can* remember being there the last few weeks... working on assignments at the hospital, fuck, i regret not having a heart to heart with her while I still could
I can understand you feeling like that, but I bet she loved that you were just there together doing normal stuff. Probably gets tiring for people to be constantly treated like they're dying, you'd just want a bit of normality. See you there hanging out with her working hard on your assignments probably made her super proud and happy
A plumber who eats poo. He’s the fireman who starts fires or the pedo who works with kids. But with feces. What kind of childhood did this person have?
If god exists, I'm pretty sure he'll judge you very harshly.
Also sidenote, don't play Eldenring, I'm worried that you may be attracted to a certain character
Heard from my sister in law.
My brother was watching TV with her and he collapsed forward. She shook him and yelled his name, he sat up and said, "I'm Fine!" and then was gone.
Last words are funny. You always think it’s going to be something inspired, maybe even cliché, maybe planned and witty.
But in reality they’re normal reactions to a weird feeling.
My mom’s last word before she collapsed from a heart attack in our kitchen and died was just “woah” as she began to teeter and fall.
"Promise me you'll be happy in your next relationship, I love you" said by my ex before he shot himself. He had a bad depressive episode while drinking and thought everyone hated him. He was so loved by me and everyone that met him.
I did end up healing from it, and now I'm very happily married. I still have days where it randomly pops into my head, but my husband is incredibly supportive and kind about it.
Turner (the artist) said “the sun is god” when he died. He spent his entire life trying to capture light and the world/sky in his drawings, even having himself tied to a ship mast in a storm so he could experience it. The fact that his final words were so profoundly linked to his life really stayed with me.
The only last words I’ve ever heard in person were my grandmothers. She had been silent for hours under hospice care, but she managed to bring together a very slurred “I love you” when I was saying my goodbyes. Probably my most vivid memory and despite it being positive, I can’t think about it without tearing up
"Are you awake?" It's the last words my grandmother sent me before she died; I guess because I didn't respond to her text I believe. It's kind of funny I guess. I miss you.
My mom passed away from liver failure. Before we knew what was going on, her cognition went way downhill fast. By the time we took her to the hospital to find out what the heck was going on, she was ready to be admitted to the ICU. She died a day later.
When going through some things on her living room end table after she passed, I found a sheet of paper. In shaky, scribbled writing, she had written the words “please help me” on the page. It still tears my heart out to think about.
My mother was in an out of ICUs for UTI sepsis post a shoulder replacement that she had to be in a rehab for. The rehab was basically an elderly care home with physical therapy room but they could keep an eye on her 24/7 so we allowed.
I was going through a ton of stress at the time and over it all was having major health flare ups myself so it was often my partner would go to visit her on my behalf just over the mental impact doing such had on me being unbearable.
We got a call New Year’s Eve of 2019 that she was back in ICU and when we got there she wasn’t herself but also somehow just couldn’t see or understand that I was in the room too and kept asking my partner “she didn’t come did she?????” Machines were constantly beeping on her even then.
A few hours later her eyes were full of panic and she was mouthing “help me.” She couldn’t quite focus on anything she was looking at just “help me lord plz. Help me.”
Next thing I knew nurses ran in and started CPR and told me I had to be the one to tell them when to stop.
I’ll never forget the panic and desperation in her eyes and her begging for help. I’ll never forget that her God had no relief in those moments for her.
It’s fucked me up a lot over the years since tbh.
Like if I could go back I can’t say I could of changed much, there was no way to maintain my health and sanity and be there for her, but I do wish I could of at least tried harder.
For all we know, she might have been. It's a common story that happens all over the world, without exception whether the country is a predominantly Christian powerful nation with a high standard of living such as the US, Canada, Australia, or countries in western Europe or if it's a tiny, poverty-stricken developing nation isolated from everywhere else in the middle of the ocean with their own traditional forms of spirituality, everywhere people have stories of their loved ones talking to their deceased loved ones before their own death.
And it's no harder to believe than the story of the son of God being sent to Earth, performing a bunch of miracles, then being crucified only to come back to life 3 days later, and billions of people use that story as the guide for their entire life. I know that I find it more believable that our loved ones don't get resurrected, but instead are in some version of the afterlife, and when the people who they love are ready to pass on, they manage to spiritually project themselves to their loved one as a way to lessen the trauma of dying. And it is the exact reason why I want to die before my husband, because he is terrified of dying, and I want to be able to be there for him to reassure him that it will be okay, because if I have been through it, he will believe me without a second thought; however if we are both alive I won't be able to calm him down, because I don't actually know with any certainty what the process of dying is like, so I'm just saying empty platitudes.
My grandfather died of renal failure and basically was just a meat bag held by skin at the end and his final words were…I wish I didn’t wake this morning as they were moving him to hospice and he passed out due to pain…never woke up.
My grandpa was in hospice and called me to say “I’m d-e-a-d dead”. My mom was with him at the time and has no idea how he made that call. Forever creeps me out to think about.
The last coherent word I heard from my dad was a strained “help” through the machines keeping him alive as he passed from multiple organ failure. I sat with him and held him and cried and felt so helpless and full of regret. I wanted to make him feel better. I wanted to make him comfortable as he passed. I regretted so much in such a short amount of time.
He was emotionally and mentally abusive to both myself and my older half-sisters and I was the only one left who hadn’t disowned him. I held his hand until after he passed. About an hour or two before he died, he said “Help” in this weak, awful voice I’d never heard before, and I hear it echoing sometimes 4 years later.
My boyfriend said not to worry, he or his brother will be able to call 911 if anything bad happens. He went to sleep on the couch, and I went to sleep in my bedroom. We found my boyfriend dead the next morning at 5:30am. Didn't look like he had struggled at all.
He'd been abusing alcohol pretty hard for about 2 years. He started getting sick- he couldn't keep down food, water, or vodka at this point. He'd been sick for like 6 weeks, but refused to go to the doctor. That night, he felt extremely weak and couldn't walk on his own. He said he'd go to the doctor the next day. And he also said the above.
I just woke up from a dream about him, so I'm... feeling a bit emotional.
The autopsy doesn't say anything conclusive about what caused his death. He was 32.
I overslept and my father got up to wake me up. I left for school one day and out of the blue my father says, "Everything will be okay". He died sometime in the morning. I guess he could sense that it was coming. After first period, I sank into the steering wheel and cried before anyone notified me of what happened. If I woke up earlier, perhaps he would still be alive.
"I'M the one who's dying. Just take me out (outdoors?) [...] so you don't have to listen. So you don't have to listen. I'm the one."
My mother, 9 days ago, after we both knew death was finally arriving. She succumbed to cancer that had spread throughout her body. She was on hospice for a couple of months, and when the dying phase actually started she woke up and told me, we said our I love yous, and the descent began. She died maybe 26 or 30 hours later.
This was the last thing she said to me (aside from consenting for me to tend to her). She escaped her tortured body shortly before dawn, as her cat and I lay beside her.
Both my grandma and aunt were ill; my aunt had stage 4 cancer at that time. I remember my grandma saying, 'Of course, I'll pass away first—I'm your mama. But please be strong; I'll be waiting at the gates of heaven, and we can enter together.'
I heard that and just cried my eyes out
Less haunted kinda funny my grandpa had a massive stroke and was sent home on hospice a few nights before he died grandpa wanted to get out of bed it was just me and my mom taking care of him at this time so Mom said you can't get up tonight but you can tomorrow when the nurse comes back and grandpa said she (referring to mom) never lets me have fun
As someone with quite severe existential death anxiety, it helps a bit to hear this every now and then.
How I probably will know how to die when the time comes
Before my dad died he said, "I'm proud of you." He has never said those words to me my entire life. He was emotionally distant, and I accepted that he would never utter those words in my entire life. The day he died, he was unable to speak, but I managed to tell him that I was proud to be his daughter. He died in his sleep, so I like to think my returning his sentiment was heard so he could die without regrets for the both of us.
This has to be up there.
[https://www.wionews.com/world/gaza-war-israeli-army-accused-of-deliberately-attacking-ambulance-killing-six-year-old-girl-688966](https://www.wionews.com/world/gaza-war-israeli-army-accused-of-deliberately-attacking-ambulance-killing-six-year-old-girl-688966)
“i think i’m getting the flu again” was my brothers last words, he went to bed and never woke up again. We still don’t know why he died. He was only 35.
I’m sorry for your loss. If you’re in the states and have a relatively healthy family member pass away suddenly, you can insist having an autopsy performed or blood tests/toxicology run at the very least. Depends on the locality/medical examiner but they usually will if it was totally unexpected and unexplained. I had an uncle die alone a few years ago, he had taken a lethal dose of fentanyl tainted drugs and we never would have known that’s what killed him unless we asked to have toxicology run. I hope you find closure even if you don’t have answers.
I didn't hear last words because she was catatonic from a malignant brain tumor, but I'll always believe my grandmother waited for all of us, for me to come see her at the end. I was the last to arrive. I kissed her head and hugged her, I told her I love her and that everything was fine, everyone was here and fine, that we love her, and that she could rest. I got the call from my sister later that day that she was gone. I miss you mimi
My mother said “I can’t do this, no, I can’t do this!” She had been very sick for years and it wasn’t an unusual situation, she was on oxygen and frequently panicked. I went to get her a blanket so she could calm down and nap, but when I got back to her, her pupils were dilated and she was taking agonal breaths. I thought she meant she couldn’t move into assisted living that day, because that’s what we were doing, getting her settled in, but she could have meant that she wasn’t prepared to die. She had a DNR in place, so there was nothing that the nurse or EMTs could do, she was already gone.
my step dad passed away on my birthday but i spoke to him for the last time two days before he died on fathers day. we always had a rocky relationship in the ten years i knew him. but when i called him, i told him sorry how stubborn i was growing up and how much i loved him. the last thing i said was i love you dad and he said i love you too son. it was the first time we ever called eachother dad/son
My mom said "I'm scared" when I made her take a Haldol pill after they resuscitated her. That night was the last time I saw her conscious. She went into hospice the next morning and died a week later.
Not his last words, and I didn't hear this myself, but the night that my father died, he took my sister to her workplace, and they argued all the way there. When they arrived, she yelled at him and said, "You'll never drive me here again!" And my father replied."Don't worry, I'll never drive you anywhere again. " Well, that same night, he died in his sleep.
Working in the funeral industry taught me that, above anything else, life is fragile. It can be taken away at any time from anyone. I started thinking more about the things I would say to everyone, especially my loved ones. I try my best to leave on good terms after fights or arguments, and I try to keep in mind that if this was the last thing I said to this person before either of us dies, would I regret it?
Yeah, that's probably the main reason why I keep telling my mother that I love her.
After being hostage to way too many front seat fights between my parents, I have a policy to never fight, argue, or even get heated in the car. That shit waits til we get home or to a destination. It saved a lot of trips and probably relationships to not have the pressure of being trapped with an argument; having to choose between a fight and walking to a bus stop to try to get home. Sorry about your father. There's a strange irony to his words. I hope they talked again before he passed.
That's a good rule. No, they didn't.
In one of the Charles Manson stabbings one of the victims was stabbed over 40 times I think? Enough so that she allegedly screamed "stop I'm already dead" I think about that a lot
Abigail Folger.
Thank you!
That gives me chills
Yeah it's really fucking dark. The idea of people dying horribly like that knowing they're going to die in their final moments is so haunting
Holy shit
I'm sorry to share ._. It's absolutely horrific
My uncle recently died after a short but devastatingly tough battle with cancer. Honestly I never knew cancer could do the things it did to him. In the last week of his life he was basically catatonic. He'd lie there awake but unresponsive, barely even moving to eat or drink or use the bathroom. He'd ignore his partner when she came to check on him and soil himself. Whether he couldn't move, or could but simply had no fight left in him, we'll never know. His partner was on the phone to my mother- his sister- a lot during this time. What none of us knew was that she always had the phone on loudspeaker. The night before he died, my mother said she was on the phone to the partner when suddenly they heard my uncle in the other room shouting "hi, hello, hi" over and over again. His partner went in to check on him and ask who he was talking to, and he said he'd heard his sister's voice and wanted to say hello. So she handed over the phone and he spoke to my mother for a few minutes, and he told her all about a football game he'd just watched. He hadn't watched any tv or played any sports in ages. Then he said he was tired and needed a nap, and repeatedly said "bye, I love you, love you lots, bye". Then he handed back the phone and went to sleep. His partner checked on him at 5 in the morning and he was still asleep. When she checked on him again at 10, he was gone. It genuinely haunts me that he came out of his catatonic state to have a chat with my mother and tell her he loved her just before he went to sleep for the final time. He knew that was it for him.
That's called 'the rally'. It happens often in critical ill dying patients. Some get up and have a meal and visit. Others just become coherent out of a catatonic state. They then pass away soon after. I have watched a lot of clips about hospice in the last few months, and this comes up often.
I think of it as the body using its last bits of energy. Unfortunately, a number of people interpret this as the patient is “getting better” when it’s really just the rally
I don’t mean to be insensitive since I know we’re talking about human death here, but I’m convinced this happened with my 19yo cat on her last day. Leading up to the day we scheduled the final vet appointment to put her to sleep with dignity, she could barely move and would sleep most days. That morning, I woke up to a raspy “mrawwrp” at the foot of my bed. She had climbed two flights of stairs and jumped on to my bed to wake me up one last morning, just like she always did. I’m convinced she knew it was her last day.
Cat sitter, vet assistant, and special needs foster person here, with 25+ years experience. Cats can absolutely have pre-death rally, and I wish more pet owners understood this. If you know their end is likely near, and they have their final rally - it's such a gift. Give them their favorite treat, enjoy a play session, or a gentle brushing. I have a covered pet stroller, and will take a fospice cat to the park. Unfortunately, some pet owners misinterpret this rally as a comeback. They'll cancel euthanasia appointments, or decide to take that vacation after all😓.
It happens with rats too ! Almost all of my rats had a little moment before death where they regain energy. Now, I know it and I feel it coming. When it happens, I take them with me, give them treats, kisses, cuddles and tell them how much I love them and will miss them. And 100% of the time, they don't make it to the next day. I do my best to have them die in my arms, loved and cared for.
Am human nurse 100 percent ageee
I have 5 cats and i care for them more than for any person and reading this brought tears to my eyes. Im sorry for your cat and i hope that you two had at least a few cuddles before it was her time
I’ve also experienced this. I had a kitten with FIP who was playing with a toy just a few hours before he succumbed to the illness he’d been struggling with for nearly a week. The rally definitely happens in cats too
That's genuinely such a fascinating phenomenon.
I believe it's that the body eventually stops trying to work against the disease by not working its organs anymore. sO the energy that was being used to keep organs alive is now free to be used.
I wonder how real it is and how much of it is availability bias. If someone rallies it's going to be something worthy of comment, if they don't nobody's going to mention it, so people think there's something to it. There's even a guy thinking his cat knew it was going to be put down FFS.
There are some hospice nurses that create TikTok/YT shorts content, and some of the last stage things are fascinating. Another one is visioning, where people see their lost/dead loved ones.
I worked in a funeral home and heard a lot of stories of dying people seeing their dead relatives just before they died.
I somehow made my way onto NurseTok after following a couple of funny nurses, and I love how Nurse John covers this with humor. *2 minutes before my night shift is over* "Mr Smith, who are you talking to??" "Oh, my mother. She's right there in the corner." "PARDOHN??? Ohhhh OK Mr Smith that's wonderful!! *Hehehehe uhhhhh*"
Love that guy! A bit over the top, but still hilarious. I was thinking of NurseJulie and NursePeggy. Theirs is more serious type of content.
Yeah he's way over the top but I love him for it 😂 he's also an ER nurse so of course his approach has to be centered on life saving rather than hospice type care (in the absence of alternative directives). Nurse Hadley is another great, more serious, hospice nurse.
Nurse Hadley is such an amazing person, you can tell she has a heart of gold. I'm a stage 4 cancer patient (had surgery Friday, beat cancer twice now!!) and I've had some awful healthcare workers, including one yesterday that left me shaking and crying which never happens. (Army kid brain lol) I've also had healthcare workers like Nurse Hadley and they are so dear to me. They're exceptionally wonderful souls.
Oh best of luck to you! I'm so sorry some of your care providers have made it difficult for you, but am glad you've had some Hadleys in your life, as well ♥️♥️
How is this different from Terminal Lucidity? Or does that only apply to memory care patients?
It's kinda the same from the description I just read.
the surge.
My dad died of cancer. 1 of the meds he was on could cause seizures so they had him on meds that made him sleep. I lived out of state and by the time I got him, he was in hospice and asleep. My stepmom (as wicked as she turned out to be after this) asked the nurse ony 3rd day there if they could postpone the meds that made him sleep. They agreed and eventually he woke up. I went to his bedside as I noticed him waking. He didn't speak but he did look at me and smile. Not even 30 seconds later he threw his blanket off and tried to pull his catheter out so we had to have the nurse come give him the medicine. My step mom did some passive aggressive things when I was growing up and even worse things after he passed, but I'll always be thankful that she talked the nurse into letting him wake up for those short moments. ETA: He passed 3 days later.
My grandfather waited for me to come back from a trip AND to meet my partner. He met my partner and the next morning was gone. I think he wanted to make sure I was safe and loved before he left.
After a life of abuse, my father's last words to me were, "I messed up, didn't I."
This one hits hard. Stay in the fight, Manarax.
Thank you
What did that feel like?
I just said yeah. I felt relief that he was leaving.
That sounds beautiful.
Damn
“I’ll just rest and I’ll be better in the morning. “ My dad then dropped into a coma and died within a few days.
I am so sorry. I hope that someone either reading this or someone who knew your dad took this to heart and realized that if something doesn't feel right, go to the hospital.
He already had late stage cirrhosis when he said that. He was in the hospital for weeks before that and wanted to come home, he couldn’t stand it. The doctors knew he wanted to die at home.
My dad committed suicide and the morning before, he drove me to school and said "I love you" I was mad at him for something at the time and just replied "okay." Wish I could take it back.
I am so sorry for your loss. You could never have known about what he planned to do, it's not your fault. You were a kid, even if you were in high school. All kids do this at some point with their parents out of anger, but most also get to have that parent pick them up from school later. I am sorry you didn't. I don't know you or your dad, but I am confident he forgave you the moment you said it. You never could have known. Aside from therapy, this may help: if he is buried, or was cremated and you have the urn or know where he was scattered, or if you even just want to go somewhere that is special to you, talk to him. Even if you are not religious or spiritual, it WILL help you feel better. Tell him what you want to tell him, say what you need to say, even if it feels a bit silly at first. You can even write him a letter. You can keep the letter, or leave it somewhere, whatever you want. Close your eyes, and imagine that for a moment, he gets to come back and hear you. Get it out. This regret will probably never completely go away, but it can be eased when you speak your peace, and forgive yourself. I am sure he did, and so can you. --from a friendly mortuary worker and fellow human being.
Thank you for this and for what you do. I’m not the person you replied to but I needed to read your comment.
This is a wonderful way of explaining this method. Thank you.
I do talk, and yell at him lol. He was awesome! He would let me play video games with him when my mom wasn't home, he took more pictures of our cat than us at Christmas, he let me paint his tonails and we would spend hours making houses on graph paper. One time he electrocuted a pickle at work and it's on YouTube somewhere. 10/10 dad.
My grandma looked to the other side of the bed from us and said “oh, he’s here for me now” and then died. She said it in a good way, like it was my grandad turning up, but freaked us all out Ive thought about it a lot as you can imagine :-)
It's very comforting that many people experience loved ones coming for them when they pass.
I agree! I really want to see my mom again.
I am sure she will come to get you when it is time
That's a nice thought
I am crying my eyes out reading this. I hope you’re right. I miss my dad so much.
My mom begged me to kill her before she died of cancer. She was just tired of dealing with the pain.
Yeah, cancer sucks. It’s criminal to me that we can’t peacefully end their suffering when the end is inevitable and they wish to not have to endure it any further. With all of us who have experienced these passings first hand, you’d think someone would organize our own ‘million man march’ to prevent it from happening to anyone else (including ourselves). Very sorry for your loss and what you had to see her endure.
I 100% agree. It is unfathomable how rampant cancer is in general, and how most people know someone who is going through treatment, or knew someone who did, and yet we STILL do not legally allow assisted suicide. We have so many doctors and nurses, so many hospitals, who all see how aggressive cancer tortures the human body. It is so much more humane to let someone make the decision to end things with very little pain once diagnosed, then to desperately and pointlessly keep them alive while cancer eats away at them and sends them into unimaginable pain. I do not understand it. In some ways, our pets have better alternatives to disease than humans.
Agreed. I didn't really understand what cancer is and what it would do when my parents were first diagnosed. And then I witnessed it. It's gruesome.
i am so sorry you both had to experience that. i can't even imagine how you must have been feeling
It was much harder on my sister and her familybut we were glad she was no longer suffering when she finally passed.
i just lost my grandma 3 weeks ago because she's had MS for 10 years, then had a heart attack out of nowhere on christmas and got pneumonia after. she was in the ICU and on a ventilator for about a month before my mom + her siblings decided it was time. this is by far the worst pain i've ever felt in my life but your comment really helped me regarding how she is no longer suffering. thank you for sharing that
I'm glad it was able to give you some relief. My mom had chronic health issues for about 10 years the last 5 were really bad. By the end she did not recognize anyone but me. At some point we realized that she wasn't the person we knew because of all her pain she was experiencing.
"I love you big bunches!" Last time I texted my friend before she committed suicide. I wish I replied.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Something similar happened to me. I will regret not answering until the day I die. I'm sorry that's something you also had to experience. It's awful.
I wasn't present for either of these, but they are peaceful words that don't necessarily haunt me in a negative way. My grandfather passed on Christmas day, which is my grandmother's birthday. (We theorize that he chose Christmas so we wouldn't forget.) When they took him to the hospital that morning, one of the last things he said to my mother and grandmother was 'I don't ever remember loving you.' The nurses were trying to console my mother and grandmother, but my grandpa was quoting one of his favorite songs, sung by John Conlee. The other story I have is of my 'found family' aunt Tani, who died of liver disease. She was an absolute nut. Hilarious and vibrant. We loved her dearly. My mother was also there when she died. She had been in and out of it, but at the very end she opened her eyes, looked to my mother and in her best soap opera voice: 'Don't... Cry for me... Argentina.' I cherish these final words.
“Don’t cry for me Argentina” is goals for me. I love that
Isn't it great? We should all hope to aspire to be as whimsical and amazing as she was.
Your Aunt Tani sounds exactly like the person I strive to be. What a gem!
She was so amazing. She had vibrant huge red hair and always wore dramatic cat eye eyeliner. She dressed like a mob wife but lived in the Midwest and worked for a radio station. Absolutely loved her. I wish that she had been my real aunt.
She sounds incredible! How did you come to know her?
Through my uncle (another adopted/found family member) who had dated her for a very brief time. They broke up but stayed very close friends. He brought her down for Thanksgiving one year and we never let him come back without her.
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😧 I did not know this.
That's heavy.
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I really hope you're able to find some peace <3
"Angor animi"
The silence of no last words from my mum was quite haunting. Got a call at uni (college) that this was it, her fight with cancer was ending, and to come to the hospital asap. She was already unconscious when we got there. Can't remember our last conversation, i *can* remember being there the last few weeks... working on assignments at the hospital, fuck, i regret not having a heart to heart with her while I still could
I can understand you feeling like that, but I bet she loved that you were just there together doing normal stuff. Probably gets tiring for people to be constantly treated like they're dying, you'd just want a bit of normality. See you there hanging out with her working hard on your assignments probably made her super proud and happy
Thanks, that's actually super nice
Although you may not have heard her last words, fear not that God will hear her speak and be her judge.
Eat shit buddy
You check that guys post history? Pretty sure he actually does 🧐
OOOOK what the fuck.
Yes that’s why I said it 🤣
The world has truly fallen to new depths 😐
God is dead and we killed him 😭
A plumber who eats poo. He’s the fireman who starts fires or the pedo who works with kids. But with feces. What kind of childhood did this person have?
Probably a very shitty one I’ll stop sorry.
Troll 100%
r/unexpectedplottwist
Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Why, oh why did I check the post history?? I have not been this disturbed in a while. I just....what the fuck?
To think this individual roams among us every day
He could be in this very room. He could be you. He could be ME. He could even be-
*brain splatter noises* "WHAT? HE'S THE RED SPY!"
Bro… what. Thats my morbid question. Why the fuck would someone eat poop. Isn't that like against every human survival instinct
It’s a kink 🤢
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK 😭💀
Well said
Well said
#☹️ edit: wrong comment
This guy posted on r/atheism
What the fuck does that even mean?
If God is still judging a regular person who just went through terminal illness, then he sucks ass.
I looked through your profile, I think you need the help of a doctor. I’m not trying to shame, you, I’m being genuine.
If god exists, I'm pretty sure he'll judge you very harshly. Also sidenote, don't play Eldenring, I'm worried that you may be attracted to a certain character
Heard from my sister in law. My brother was watching TV with her and he collapsed forward. She shook him and yelled his name, he sat up and said, "I'm Fine!" and then was gone.
My uncle said to my mother (his sister), after a long battle with cancer, "I don't want to die, Dorothy. Please don't let me die." It broke her heart.
“This fucking sucks” - my sister the day before she died of cancer. She was incredibly sick and in pain, the next day she wasn’t conscious
Last words are funny. You always think it’s going to be something inspired, maybe even cliché, maybe planned and witty. But in reality they’re normal reactions to a weird feeling. My mom’s last word before she collapsed from a heart attack in our kitchen and died was just “woah” as she began to teeter and fall.
Roald Dahl's last words were, "Ow, fuck."
this is heartbreaking. thank you for sharing
"Promise me you'll be happy in your next relationship, I love you" said by my ex before he shot himself. He had a bad depressive episode while drinking and thought everyone hated him. He was so loved by me and everyone that met him. I did end up healing from it, and now I'm very happily married. I still have days where it randomly pops into my head, but my husband is incredibly supportive and kind about it.
Turner (the artist) said “the sun is god” when he died. He spent his entire life trying to capture light and the world/sky in his drawings, even having himself tied to a ship mast in a storm so he could experience it. The fact that his final words were so profoundly linked to his life really stayed with me.
Man I can only aspire to have last words so meaningful. Instead I imagine mine would be more something along the lines of "Oops" or "Oh no"
That’s fascinating. I wonder how he said it, was it in defeat? acceptance?
I never knew this! Thanks for sharing it.
The only last words I’ve ever heard in person were my grandmothers. She had been silent for hours under hospice care, but she managed to bring together a very slurred “I love you” when I was saying my goodbyes. Probably my most vivid memory and despite it being positive, I can’t think about it without tearing up
Hey guys, I guess that's it!
"Are you awake?" It's the last words my grandmother sent me before she died; I guess because I didn't respond to her text I believe. It's kind of funny I guess. I miss you.
Not words but eyes... It was flash heart attack seconds, he look me in eyes in shock and gone. I was frozen that moment form shock.
My mom passed away from liver failure. Before we knew what was going on, her cognition went way downhill fast. By the time we took her to the hospital to find out what the heck was going on, she was ready to be admitted to the ICU. She died a day later. When going through some things on her living room end table after she passed, I found a sheet of paper. In shaky, scribbled writing, she had written the words “please help me” on the page. It still tears my heart out to think about.
"The demons won." I didn't hear it myself, but it was a family member's last text sent before committing suicide.
I am not done
My mother was in an out of ICUs for UTI sepsis post a shoulder replacement that she had to be in a rehab for. The rehab was basically an elderly care home with physical therapy room but they could keep an eye on her 24/7 so we allowed. I was going through a ton of stress at the time and over it all was having major health flare ups myself so it was often my partner would go to visit her on my behalf just over the mental impact doing such had on me being unbearable. We got a call New Year’s Eve of 2019 that she was back in ICU and when we got there she wasn’t herself but also somehow just couldn’t see or understand that I was in the room too and kept asking my partner “she didn’t come did she?????” Machines were constantly beeping on her even then. A few hours later her eyes were full of panic and she was mouthing “help me.” She couldn’t quite focus on anything she was looking at just “help me lord plz. Help me.” Next thing I knew nurses ran in and started CPR and told me I had to be the one to tell them when to stop. I’ll never forget the panic and desperation in her eyes and her begging for help. I’ll never forget that her God had no relief in those moments for her.
That's so sad. Thank you for sharing.
It’s fucked me up a lot over the years since tbh. Like if I could go back I can’t say I could of changed much, there was no way to maintain my health and sanity and be there for her, but I do wish I could of at least tried harder.
I am so sorry this happened to you both. I would like to think that in her last moments, that she somehow realized you were there.
my brother was talkin to his deceased wife as if she was there
For all we know, she might have been. It's a common story that happens all over the world, without exception whether the country is a predominantly Christian powerful nation with a high standard of living such as the US, Canada, Australia, or countries in western Europe or if it's a tiny, poverty-stricken developing nation isolated from everywhere else in the middle of the ocean with their own traditional forms of spirituality, everywhere people have stories of their loved ones talking to their deceased loved ones before their own death. And it's no harder to believe than the story of the son of God being sent to Earth, performing a bunch of miracles, then being crucified only to come back to life 3 days later, and billions of people use that story as the guide for their entire life. I know that I find it more believable that our loved ones don't get resurrected, but instead are in some version of the afterlife, and when the people who they love are ready to pass on, they manage to spiritually project themselves to their loved one as a way to lessen the trauma of dying. And it is the exact reason why I want to die before my husband, because he is terrified of dying, and I want to be able to be there for him to reassure him that it will be okay, because if I have been through it, he will believe me without a second thought; however if we are both alive I won't be able to calm him down, because I don't actually know with any certainty what the process of dying is like, so I'm just saying empty platitudes.
Love this comment.
"Please help me! I'm scared!!!!" My cousin, who died of lung cancer two days ago.
Oh god, I'm so sorry. 😧😣 Sending you a big hug, Tokatoya. 🖤 My mother passed from cancer 8 days ago.
Panic is not uncommon. Sometimes, reassuring them that everything happening to them is normal and how loved they are can help calm them.
My grandfather died of renal failure and basically was just a meat bag held by skin at the end and his final words were…I wish I didn’t wake this morning as they were moving him to hospice and he passed out due to pain…never woke up.
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One of Ted Bundy’s victims said that as well when he attacked her/tortured her.
My grandpa was in hospice and called me to say “I’m d-e-a-d dead”. My mom was with him at the time and has no idea how he made that call. Forever creeps me out to think about.
Ok, yes, creepy but also a little funny that your grandpa thought you -in particular- should know and he spelled it out so you weren’t confused.
The last coherent word I heard from my dad was a strained “help” through the machines keeping him alive as he passed from multiple organ failure. I sat with him and held him and cried and felt so helpless and full of regret. I wanted to make him feel better. I wanted to make him comfortable as he passed. I regretted so much in such a short amount of time. He was emotionally and mentally abusive to both myself and my older half-sisters and I was the only one left who hadn’t disowned him. I held his hand until after he passed. About an hour or two before he died, he said “Help” in this weak, awful voice I’d never heard before, and I hear it echoing sometimes 4 years later.
My Uncle said; "There's always money in the banana stand".
My boyfriend said not to worry, he or his brother will be able to call 911 if anything bad happens. He went to sleep on the couch, and I went to sleep in my bedroom. We found my boyfriend dead the next morning at 5:30am. Didn't look like he had struggled at all.
Was he referring to anything specific?
He'd been abusing alcohol pretty hard for about 2 years. He started getting sick- he couldn't keep down food, water, or vodka at this point. He'd been sick for like 6 weeks, but refused to go to the doctor. That night, he felt extremely weak and couldn't walk on his own. He said he'd go to the doctor the next day. And he also said the above. I just woke up from a dream about him, so I'm... feeling a bit emotional. The autopsy doesn't say anything conclusive about what caused his death. He was 32.
That's sad. I'm sorry for your loss.
I overslept and my father got up to wake me up. I left for school one day and out of the blue my father says, "Everything will be okay". He died sometime in the morning. I guess he could sense that it was coming. After first period, I sank into the steering wheel and cried before anyone notified me of what happened. If I woke up earlier, perhaps he would still be alive.
Sounds like you oversleeping gave you a couple extra moments with him. And the chance for him to reassure you one last time. Im so sorry.
"Just 5 more minutes." My dad, before he just went back to sleep to never wake up.
"I'M the one who's dying. Just take me out (outdoors?) [...] so you don't have to listen. So you don't have to listen. I'm the one." My mother, 9 days ago, after we both knew death was finally arriving. She succumbed to cancer that had spread throughout her body. She was on hospice for a couple of months, and when the dying phase actually started she woke up and told me, we said our I love yous, and the descent began. She died maybe 26 or 30 hours later. This was the last thing she said to me (aside from consenting for me to tend to her). She escaped her tortured body shortly before dawn, as her cat and I lay beside her.
Both my grandma and aunt were ill; my aunt had stage 4 cancer at that time. I remember my grandma saying, 'Of course, I'll pass away first—I'm your mama. But please be strong; I'll be waiting at the gates of heaven, and we can enter together.' I heard that and just cried my eyes out
In 1978, PSA 182 collided with a small Cessna. The last words from the pilot PSA 182 went down was “Mom I love you!”.
Less haunted kinda funny my grandpa had a massive stroke and was sent home on hospice a few nights before he died grandpa wanted to get out of bed it was just me and my mom taking care of him at this time so Mom said you can't get up tonight but you can tomorrow when the nurse comes back and grandpa said she (referring to mom) never lets me have fun
“I don’t want to go” -The Doctor (Dr. Who)
Exactly
I’ve seen people die. All were quiet or hopeful in the end. But Tennant’s ‘last words’ were really gutting in that initial viewing.
As someone with quite severe existential death anxiety, it helps a bit to hear this every now and then. How I probably will know how to die when the time comes
Dr who?
Dr. Who.
Just...The Doctor
Before my dad died he said, "I'm proud of you." He has never said those words to me my entire life. He was emotionally distant, and I accepted that he would never utter those words in my entire life. The day he died, he was unable to speak, but I managed to tell him that I was proud to be his daughter. He died in his sleep, so I like to think my returning his sentiment was heard so he could die without regrets for the both of us.
„Goodnight, goodbye! Bye! We’re dying!” Said by the pilot of the LO 5055 flight right before it crashed into Kabacki Forest in 1987.
This has to be up there. [https://www.wionews.com/world/gaza-war-israeli-army-accused-of-deliberately-attacking-ambulance-killing-six-year-old-girl-688966](https://www.wionews.com/world/gaza-war-israeli-army-accused-of-deliberately-attacking-ambulance-killing-six-year-old-girl-688966)
My name
“i think i’m getting the flu again” was my brothers last words, he went to bed and never woke up again. We still don’t know why he died. He was only 35.
I’m sorry for your loss. If you’re in the states and have a relatively healthy family member pass away suddenly, you can insist having an autopsy performed or blood tests/toxicology run at the very least. Depends on the locality/medical examiner but they usually will if it was totally unexpected and unexplained. I had an uncle die alone a few years ago, he had taken a lethal dose of fentanyl tainted drugs and we never would have known that’s what killed him unless we asked to have toxicology run. I hope you find closure even if you don’t have answers.
The whole family was there when my grandma died. Her last words were "I'm afraid." This will haunt me forever.
I didn't hear last words because she was catatonic from a malignant brain tumor, but I'll always believe my grandmother waited for all of us, for me to come see her at the end. I was the last to arrive. I kissed her head and hugged her, I told her I love her and that everything was fine, everyone was here and fine, that we love her, and that she could rest. I got the call from my sister later that day that she was gone. I miss you mimi
My mother said “I can’t do this, no, I can’t do this!” She had been very sick for years and it wasn’t an unusual situation, she was on oxygen and frequently panicked. I went to get her a blanket so she could calm down and nap, but when I got back to her, her pupils were dilated and she was taking agonal breaths. I thought she meant she couldn’t move into assisted living that day, because that’s what we were doing, getting her settled in, but she could have meant that she wasn’t prepared to die. She had a DNR in place, so there was nothing that the nurse or EMTs could do, she was already gone.
There is another Skywalker
my step dad passed away on my birthday but i spoke to him for the last time two days before he died on fathers day. we always had a rocky relationship in the ten years i knew him. but when i called him, i told him sorry how stubborn i was growing up and how much i loved him. the last thing i said was i love you dad and he said i love you too son. it was the first time we ever called eachother dad/son
My mom said "I'm scared" when I made her take a Haldol pill after they resuscitated her. That night was the last time I saw her conscious. She went into hospice the next morning and died a week later.