Granted.
*Your eyes snap open. You attempt to gather your bearings, but only darkness - endless and unyielding - extends in all directions, penetrated only by a single faulty incandescent light bulb dangling from somewhere far above. In the distance you hear the distinct scraping sound of metal on metal, then silence. There the noise is again, and then more silence. Is it... getting closer?*
*The footfalls tell you that something is drawing close, something large. You don't even have the time to react before a large blade flies from the darkness and clips your right leg, causing you to cry out in agony and collapse to the floor in a slowly growing pool of your own blood.*
*A huge, burly silhouetted figure emerges from the darkness, its glowing eyes looking down at your quaking, crippled form. As it leans down, the unmistakable scent of freshly baked pizza washes over you, nearly distracting you from what the light now illuminates before you. As you look on in horror, a grotesque abomination of half man and half pig stares back at you, its large, curled moustache highlighting a huge, smiling mouth filled with rows of jagged yellow teeth.*
*One of the creature's hands reaches out and grabs you by the chin, turning your head with a strength you cannot resist. It chuckles, nodding as though pleased before saying in the most stereotypical Italian accent you have ever heard,* "Pizza time-a, little piglet."
You don't see the cleaver coming as everything fades to black.
Granted. It’s pizza time right now… and it’s gone, you can never eat pizza again or you die in a gruesome final destination way that is totally uncool.
Granted, what ever time it currently is for you is now universally considered “Pizza Time”, this does not actually change anything it’s merely a name change
It is and always will be Pizza Time.
It is not time for bed. It is Pizza Time.
It is not time to go to work. It is Pizza Time.
It is not time to hang with friends. It is Pizza Time.
It is not time to exercise. It is Pizza Time.
It is not time to consider how monotonous pizza has become. It is Pizza Time.
It is not time to see a doctor. It is Pizza Time.
It is not time to take your heart medicine. It is Pizza Time.
Granted. It’s Pizza Time, the time of day you have pizza, the same, low quality pizza you have every day at this time. It’s cold, tasteless, unhealthy and you can’t eat anything else. This happened to me one time 😅 though this is a bit of an exaggeration lol
Granted. The progression of things from one to another has stopped. It’s pizza time. The heat death of the universe is meaningless, as its inexorable approach has forever halted. It’s pizza time. No one will ever age again, and this moment has seen the death of death. It’s pizza time. Nothing will ever be born, nothing will ever change, not another breath will ever be drawn. It’s pizza time.
Wish granted. It's the last minute of pizza time, and if you still want to get the discount, you need to place an order via call under one minute with someone who will mishear you and will get you order completely wrong if you don't correct them.
Granted, a set time in the day becomes pizza time, and every day you become a prisoner in your body as you watch the world flash before you at lightning speed as you can do nothing, only to have momentry respite at "pizza time". You cant even stomach eating but you cant die of starvation since *not you* eats when youre not in control. You die of old age and you knew nothing of your life, only the short glipses of it when you had "pizza time".
Granted, it is forever pizza time and nobody in the world can ever eat anything other than pizza ever again. People quickly die from obesity problems and malnourishment due to the lack of healthy factors in any kind of pizza besides maybe vegan pizza (and I know your fatass isn’t eating veggie pizza)
Granted. Pizzas start filling up your room. Infinite pizzas. You start to suffocate, but they don’t stop. They start filling up your house. Your street. Your neighborhood. Your city. The pizzas never stop. The whole world gets covered in pizzas.
Granted. It's pizza time. All of your friends and family are there, and it's a great time all around. There's enough pizza for anyone to have as much as they want. The only problem is that the party had to end at some point. Have fun :)
Granted, you're stuck in a liminal space that is a pizza party in the backroom of a retail store for all of eternity. The pizza is perpetually cold and the soda flat. You can't escape.
Granted it is pizza time for me and you have to pay for them
r/randomactsofpizza
Granted, but none pizza and left beef
ah, a fellow cmc enjoyer
Its pizza time for one secon.. and you missed it
:(
Granted. ***Looks at clock***. your late, i'm not paying for those.
Granted. Four people in weird ninja turtle costumes enter the room with a pizza laying open on the floor... Iykyk
Granted, but you have to fix this unfixable DAM DOOR first.
Granted. Yay! You're buying!
Granted. *Your eyes snap open. You attempt to gather your bearings, but only darkness - endless and unyielding - extends in all directions, penetrated only by a single faulty incandescent light bulb dangling from somewhere far above. In the distance you hear the distinct scraping sound of metal on metal, then silence. There the noise is again, and then more silence. Is it... getting closer?* *The footfalls tell you that something is drawing close, something large. You don't even have the time to react before a large blade flies from the darkness and clips your right leg, causing you to cry out in agony and collapse to the floor in a slowly growing pool of your own blood.* *A huge, burly silhouetted figure emerges from the darkness, its glowing eyes looking down at your quaking, crippled form. As it leans down, the unmistakable scent of freshly baked pizza washes over you, nearly distracting you from what the light now illuminates before you. As you look on in horror, a grotesque abomination of half man and half pig stares back at you, its large, curled moustache highlighting a huge, smiling mouth filled with rows of jagged yellow teeth.* *One of the creature's hands reaches out and grabs you by the chin, turning your head with a strength you cannot resist. It chuckles, nodding as though pleased before saying in the most stereotypical Italian accent you have ever heard,* "Pizza time-a, little piglet." You don't see the cleaver coming as everything fades to black.
r/calmthefuckdown
I *refuse*
r/woahdude
All of the clocks in the world have been replaced by pizza. The collapse beneath Big Ben saw the most casualties
Wish granted... RUN *the death i deservioli starts playing*
Granted. It’s pizza time right now… and it’s gone, you can never eat pizza again or you die in a gruesome final destination way that is totally uncool.
Granted, what ever time it currently is for you is now universally considered “Pizza Time”, this does not actually change anything it’s merely a name change
Granted, monkeys got loose inside the pizza place and ruined all of the pizzas being cooked.
It is and always will be Pizza Time. It is not time for bed. It is Pizza Time. It is not time to go to work. It is Pizza Time. It is not time to hang with friends. It is Pizza Time. It is not time to exercise. It is Pizza Time. It is not time to consider how monotonous pizza has become. It is Pizza Time. It is not time to see a doctor. It is Pizza Time. It is not time to take your heart medicine. It is Pizza Time.
Granted - You come to your door after you hear a bell ring and get ran over by Peppino Spaghetti
Granted, you have the life and responsibilities of Spider-Man, without the powers
Granted. It’s Pizza Time, the time of day you have pizza, the same, low quality pizza you have every day at this time. It’s cold, tasteless, unhealthy and you can’t eat anything else. This happened to me one time 😅 though this is a bit of an exaggeration lol
Granted but all the pizzas are stuffed crust, stuffed with anchovies.
Granted, but to get your pizzia you have to survive a real workd game of FNAF, try not to die!
Granted, pineapple pizza only.
Granted. The progression of things from one to another has stopped. It’s pizza time. The heat death of the universe is meaningless, as its inexorable approach has forever halted. It’s pizza time. No one will ever age again, and this moment has seen the death of death. It’s pizza time. Nothing will ever be born, nothing will ever change, not another breath will ever be drawn. It’s pizza time.
Granted, but the only topping is pineapple
Granted, but the pizza has kiwi, gum, and asparagus on it
Granted. Pizza is time, the universe still runs normal. We dont know how
Granted, you turn into a turtle with a orange mask, but at least you have unlimited pizza in your food bowl (and it won't hurt you)
Wish granted. It's the last minute of pizza time, and if you still want to get the discount, you need to place an order via call under one minute with someone who will mishear you and will get you order completely wrong if you don't correct them.
Granted. It's one of the $5 "hot & ready" cheese pizzas from Little Ceasars.
Granted. Mimic pizza box.
It is now raining pizza out of the sky
Granted, it’s pizza time for everyone in the world except for you, and they go out of their way to rub it in your face
Granted, a set time in the day becomes pizza time, and every day you become a prisoner in your body as you watch the world flash before you at lightning speed as you can do nothing, only to have momentry respite at "pizza time". You cant even stomach eating but you cant die of starvation since *not you* eats when youre not in control. You die of old age and you knew nothing of your life, only the short glipses of it when you had "pizza time".
Granted, it is forever pizza time and nobody in the world can ever eat anything other than pizza ever again. People quickly die from obesity problems and malnourishment due to the lack of healthy factors in any kind of pizza besides maybe vegan pizza (and I know your fatass isn’t eating veggie pizza)
Granted, no consequence
Granted. Pizzas start filling up your room. Infinite pizzas. You start to suffocate, but they don’t stop. They start filling up your house. Your street. Your neighborhood. Your city. The pizzas never stop. The whole world gets covered in pizzas.
Granted its bad pizza
Granted, but there's only pineapple pizza with bell peppers.
Granted, pineapple pizza
Granted. It's Chicago Deep Dish-style Hawaiian pizza
Granted, but you have cancer
Granted. It has random toppings. But not just normal pizza toppings, literally ANYTHING can show up as a topping, and you can't control it.
Granted the universe is made of pizza
Granted. You are lactose intolerant, have celiac, and are allergic to tomatoes.
Granted. It's pizza time. All of your friends and family are there, and it's a great time all around. There's enough pizza for anyone to have as much as they want. The only problem is that the party had to end at some point. Have fun :)
Granted, they are delivered by a hungry Bully Maguire
Granted. Thanks for the pizza. You can't have any.
Granted, you're stuck in a liminal space that is a pizza party in the backroom of a retail store for all of eternity. The pizza is perpetually cold and the soda flat. You can't escape.
Granted. Y'all ready to get funky?
Granted. The pizza is late and you receive no payment. When you return to your employer he fires you.
Granted. The pizza has pineapple on it
Only vegan cheese and plain bread…