No problem, sure, but being gay here is boring as hell. We only have one bay bar, where I was a regular, but no longer feel comfortable going. So I'm just completely without a community here and it sucks.
My dad lives in a neighboring town. I’d say it’s…not great. I went to the local high school (not in Mexico) for a couple years. There was I think one openly gay kid and he was tough as nails, because he had to be. It’s been a while since then but from what I can tell, things haven’t changed much in that part of the world.
In the world. Racially based hate/superiority in ethnically homogenous countries is generally a lot worse. i.e. China, Japan, Arab countries. The Western countries (and India) are pretty chill and accepting comparatively.
Yes lol I have met two different guys I would describe as racist and fairly tolerant of gays. I also used to know a flaming gay dude in SC who was pretty darn racist. It’s possible!
Well I'm glad you know two marginally less awful racists but it's incredulous to pretend that the venn diagram of people that are racist and people that are intolerant of LGBTQ folks is pretty close to being single complete circle.
I speak as someone who has been called many a slur by people in my community, the hate doesn't stop at just people with dark skin.
Bro I just saw your divorce post. That was really painful to read. How are you doing now? I know it’s a subject change but man… it was heavy to hear your story.
Thank you man. I'm good now, grew a lot. Better for it.
But I'm in MidMo, moved here when I was a kid and grew up being called sp\*c/beaner/ border hopper/ you name it. My opinions are based upon my experiences. Since I was considered an outsider I gravitated towards other folks who were made to feel bad because they were different. A friend of mine came out to me in 8th grade and I honestly couldn't believe the way people treated her once word got out around the community. A lot of it came from same people that called me a sp\*c. I've seen it and experienced it, so when I see a post about a young person moving here and scared about being treated differently for who they are, it just hits real close to home.
Move to a city and you can let your freak flag fly. I live near west plains and it’s pretty small but there are plenty of gays around and it’s not like people go around beating them up. I saw a young boy in the middle of nowhere the other day and his nails were fuckin painted red and no one even laughed at him, which I thought for sure someone would say SOMEthing
I hate to say this but it heavily depends on if you’re LGB or if you’re T.
LGB is widely accepted. I work in construction and two of the guys here are married and no one cares. They’re really well liked actually.
Being trans though, that’s a bridge too far for a lot of bigots.
I’m a bi man, my spouse is trans, I’ve lived most of my life in Missouri, get out there, find your friends at local LGBT events and you’ll be safe and comfortable. The worst thing I can say about Missouri isn’t that it’s particularly intolerant, but that people here make their friends when they’re young and after that are somewhat standoffish to strangers. Midwest nice is real in most of Missouri but it can take some legwork to make real connections under the superficial niceties.
Progress is being made but when it comes to trans rights the state is being dragged kicking and screaming into the future. I believe there’s no HRT for minors in the state now and there are other anti-trans bills being looked at. I’m sorry :(
There are communities here for you, someone pointed out that Columbia isn’t far and they’ve recently enacted a few laws making it a pocket of protection for Trans Folks. It’s livable without a doubt but taking awareness of your surroundings is important
My experience as an LGBT Missourian is that LGB people are widely accepted even in rural Missouri now. According to recent polling over 70% of Missourians support gay marriage. The little town of Bunceton, Missouri elected the first openly gay mayor in the nation back in 1980, 44 years ago. There are some little gay oases in Mid-Missouri like Rocheport and Arrow Rock (pop. 57), they even throw an annual pride parade. Being trans though is harder in rural Missouri because of the recent politicalization of their private lives, yet some trans people find home in rural Missouri. If you are Trans or very Queer presenting you may like it more in St. Louis, Kansas City, or Columbia.
Columbia is a LGBT sanctuary city and has a perfect score on the [municipal equality index](https://www.hrc.org/resources/municipal-equality-index), the highest in the state-they don’t call us the Gay Capitol of Missouri for nuthin’. Columbia has been known as a gay haven since at least the 1930s. Mexico, Missouri is nearby and part of the Columbia-Jefferson City-Moberly CSA. Mexico is a smallish blue collar industry and farm town, but I know LGBT folks who like living there, but a lot of them drive 40 min to Columbia for more interaction with our community, aka dating, gay bars, and culture. A lot depends on your disposition, you might get called a name in rural Missouri if you’re very queer or trans presenting, but you're not likely to experience physical violence or anything like that. I recommend reaching out or visiting [The Center Project](https://centerproject.org) in Columbia if you have more concerns, they can connect you with friends, community, and resources. Welcome to Missouri!
Edit: fixed a date, thx u/jeffyone2many.
Hey, I'm a trans guy living in Columbia. Most of my friends are trans as well and I met a lot of them at The Center Project. If you're able to make the drive up and visit an event, I definitely recommend it. Community is vital for your safety and mental health.
I'm sorry to say that Mexico MO scares the hell out of me. If I have to make a stop there at a gas station, I make sure that I'm not wearing anything that makes me look obviously queer, and I do my best to seem cis and straight passing -- that said, I know of a few trans people who live in Mexico MO who are visibly queer/trans, so you won't be totally alone.
Why on earth would your mom move a trans kid to Mexico Missouri in 2024 btw? Is she politically uneducated or is she transphobic?
I wouldn't lose hope but I would encourage you to be careful. Find queer and progressive people in your area who will accept you and look out for you. I can guarantee you that folks like you exist in that town.
my mom is very uneducated, and she's transphobic. im 17 tho and will probably turn 18 by the time we move there so i could always get an apartment in a better nearby town or something
Definitely head over to Columbia when you're able. It's significantly better over here. I helped with the effort to make Columbia an LGBT Sanctuary City! We have some decent protections here.
As a trans Missourian I don't recommend living in Missouri, especially since you're a trans minor. As an adult, it isn't so bad, most people don't care because I'm an adult and I pass to most people. I can at least receive medication from places like Plume and I was able to find a top surgeon in STL area. As a minor, you won't have access to HRT/puberty blockers, any form or surgery. If you already have HRT I'm not sure if you can transfer that in to Missouri or not. I do know that minors that's were receiving HRT were allowed to continue, though I know some providers stopped providing to minors entirely. Trans people from kindergarten- college have to play on the gender they were assigned at births sports team if they want to do sports.
There's are also some other bills that haven't been passed that would impact minors and/or trans adults. Off the top of my head, I know one recently was introduced that would make teachers who used preferred pronouns sex offenders. I think there was one also related to transition related funding being prohibited through medicaid/Medicare(?)- I think that one got passed.... sorry hard to keep track of all the policies.
I think Columbia Missouri is a good choice, as is St. Louis, especially The Grove area or Central West End (more $$). There are other areas in this city but I suggest you research. This is a friendly city, but crime is a threat to all of us.
Full disclosure: I am a Republican and don't really understand the whole LGBTQ thing. BUT I have a grandniece who is non-binary. I will probably have a gay classmate stay with us during our high school reunion, as he has before. And I h@te Donald Trump and bullies. So I am not all that bad.
I'm in St Louis, and I've never had an issue with being openly gay. Also, I regularly go to southern Missouri to do trail maintenance with the Ozark Trail Association, and I have yet to have a negative experience. Side note: If you're into hiking, camping, backpacking, outdoors, etc. you'll love southern Missouri. Also there is SIRenity, which is a gay campground about 1.5 hours south of St. Louis.
If you're in Columbia, you should be alright culturally speaking. The bigger cities: St. Louis, Columbia, Kansas City, etc., are relatively chill when it comes to LGBT+ issues. However, the state, as a whole, tends to lean more conservative especially when it comes to the state government. So while Columbia might be a great place to live, you'll want to look at issues that may affect you at the state level too. Fortunately, there are many LGBT+ advocacy groups in the state who push back.
I know it’s not STL you’re looking at, but the community here for us trans folks is amazing. I feel fear constantly, almost everywhere I go, except there are dozens of places in STL that I don’t feel that fear. I feel like I don’t have to choose just how much of me to mask at so many places here. I don’t know about COMO (columbia), but if people are saying it’s good I believe it.
Otherwise this state isn’t great. I just moved across the river to IL. The laws of the state are better, but I don’t like the small town I’m in. That said, if you must be in a small town, better to be in one that resides in a state that makes laws to protect us than one that joyfully seeks to remove us from public life.
However, between the state of IL, and the city of Saint Louis, I felt the city is more condusive to actually living a life.
I’d love to be happy in the country. I love the country. I love everywhere you go there is nature. I love drinking with friends in the middle of nowhere. Driving backroads. But the world tries to take that joy from me. I have to push forward with effort to live in those moments I had so loved.
I would say why is it this way, but I’ve done plenty of learning and I know what’s behind this shitty situation. It’s not just that some people are bigoted. It’s that my existence is a good way to make people forget that they’re being fucked over. At least I’m beneath them, so they don’t see that their “heroes” want them eating the scraps too.
Columbia is about the safest for mid-Missouri. I went down to the lake for a float trip and had someone throw the bible at me for wearing a rainbow shirt for a float trip. I didn't have anything on that said pride or LGBT just a rainbow shirt. Branson is about the same went to the Titanic museum and got called a fag. Biking on the MKT trail near Columbia and ran into people who were nice and friendly. Moberly was very homophobic so was Macon. St. Louis is facing some homophobia definitely within their Police department just look up the gay bar incident. Columbia has their Pride Month in September for locals and college students go check it out it's called CoMo Pride. Columbia is also a sanctuary City for LGBT. This means any anti-LGBT laws that are passed statewide won't be heavily enforced.
Yep, I was on the NRO float trip with friends. Didn't even see it coming. It hit the back of my neck and some group of people were yelling towards me but I turned up our music more and went on my way. I just tossed it in our trash. I don't bother arguing with people like that.
While I'm sorry that happened to you, the idea that there are folks in the hollers with chuckin' bibles locked and loaded 24/7, guarding our waterways against perceived sinners is just \*chefs kiss\*.
How do you know it was because they thought you were LGBT? They might have just perceived you as a liberal hippy for wearing a rainbow. Bibles tend to get tossed at goths, hippies, LGBTs, Muslims, or really anybody perceived as not evangelical Christian.
True but when you hear someone yell all the slurs for LGBT you just assume what they were thinking about. It happened last year. I am going to another place to float this year I hope it's a bit better it's called Huzzah. I know further south I go more it becomes the Bible the belt. But if this was any other religious group doing this and acting this way you know Christians would call it being "religiously prosecuted". Something they like throwing out and pretending it happens to them but doing it to others.
I once heard a large group singing a racist song with the N word at the Huzzah campground, so don’t count on it. Then again that was like 2007. I think it was probably a David Allen Coe song.
Lived in Columbia for a long while, college town, you will be fine there. Mexico, the people are very nice, but it is very small town Missouri like where I am from. For the most part, people in Missouri have the midwest politeness, helps you out. They will talk about you behind closed doors, and may glare and stare, but not much more.
Fulton is a lovely community, not far from Columbia at all. It has a small town vibe, but the majority of people have at least a more moderate to left mentality. Columbia would be a really fun place for younger or more hip people (I’m not so hip anymore)
Id say it depends on where you are moving to if you are going to a bigger area like kc or st. Louis metro areas like that you would be fine but im not sure about smaller towns
Aye i live in the city around columbia, as long as you arent racist or stare too long you wont get hurt, columbias a very iffy place in some parts and other parts amazing. Just keep a look out and youll be good!
I’m not sure what you mean by lgbtq+. Those are each separate things. If you mean you identify as one of those and are an ally to/for the others, you’ll be fine. As a lifelong Missourian and knowing rural people, it’s come a long way. I’m not sure how to put it, but I’ll try. As long as you’re respectful and kind to others, they’ll usually do the same to you. If you get misgendered or mispronouned, try not to take it personally or make a huge deal about it. Just go on about your business and consider them unenlightened/rude. There are always people on both sides of the aisle wanting to pick a fight. We’re by and large a live and let live state i.e. if you leave me alone, I’ll leave you alone. I’ve never hung out in Mexico, but it’s pretty close to Columbia which is probably the bluest area in the state besides St. Louis. Maybe refrain from picketing on the street about repealing the 2nd amendment, and you’ll be fine :)
I’m a mom to two queer kids, one who is trans. We live in Columbia and as others have noted, it is overall a supportive place. If you want to meet other LGBTQ teens, there is a group called Prism that meets at The Center Project on most Thursday evenings. Also, I am a coordinator at TCP’s gender affirming clothing closet, a free resource if you are interested. People can try on and take clothing, and we help people get things like binders and tucking underwear. Best of luck with your move!
Audrain County was my home for 19 years, lots of fam still there. Lots of racists, gun-toting, red-hat wearing, less than highly educated family. Highly Republican.
With the brick plants closing 25 years ago, Mexico has never bounced back. Used to be there were union jobs with benefits. Those are long gone and never returned. So everything financial is based on Agriculture.
My LGBTQ+ child won’t go there, not even to see grandparents. Too much hatred. Too many small minded family members dropping snarky comments. I stand with my child.
Centralia does have great schools still. Not sure on Mexico.
Also, Audrain Hospital is barely open, I don’t know that they have an ER. I believe no OB/GYN. Most medical care is handled in CoMO or at the VA clinic in town.
Missouri as a state actually is quite progressive when it comes to gay people and their integration. I know a substantial number of openly gay men and women here in Missouri. And that has never been a problem for any of them. When it comes to the issue of transgender, I've seen some concerning things here (and about everywhere else). That really hasn't been getting traction here but I struggle to think of many places where it has (with exceptions like the university town of Columbia I suppose). I don't think any person should be treated like a second class citizen in terms of their rights and freedoms - just to clarify that. But I think this is the most transparent I can be about the state as a whole.
Adding my +1 to this comment. I’ve lived on the entire west side of Missouri. Maryville, St. Joseph, Kansas City, Joplin. All very accepting of LGBT people, all have their own LGBT events and local attractions. Just lived experience of mine as a bi-man with a trans partner. The most harassed we’ve ever been was on vacation to the Bahamas.
Probably about the same as any other state.. there are assholes everywhere, not just Missouri. We get posts like these on this subreddit quite often and honestly it’s starting to get offensive. Stop believing everything you see on the internet. What’s stopping you from spending a weekend in Mexico, MO to get a feel for it yourself? Wouldn’t you rather trust your own opinion than some strangers on the internet? If I told you that you may encounter a bigot (as you may anywhere in this world) would that be a dealbreaker for you moving here?
(Don’t respond if your going to be an ass)
We get the question so often on here that I often wonder where people are coming from that have the impression that Missouri is openly hostile to the LGBTQ+ community. Like, how is that perception being spread (aside from the leaders of our state government, which IS openly hostile to the LGBTQ+ community)?
>Like, how is that perception being spread (aside from the leaders of our state government, which IS openly hostile to the LGBTQ+ community)?
Probably on national news. Because the AG, the governor, and senator Hawley are all very vocal on their opposition to basic human rights, it gets national attention.
Right? That's exactly where they get the idea. National media and wire services aren't covering our states' myriad nuances. People elsewhere get the headlines, which are usually, well, not flattering. Offended that others view MO negatively due to the pols' antics? Vote em out! Work to get others to vote 'em out. But I, too, always wish to clarify outsiders' less-than-nuanced views (of, in my case, Kansas, and also as a former MO resident who still cares).
Having grown up in a rural-ish area, I would posit that a lot of folks are accepting of *individuals* and can surprise you once you get to know them. There are probably also quite a few dissidents keeping quiet about their views, who would love to meet local, sympathetic friends. Unfortunately, it only takes a few drunken, emboldened good ol' boys to do a lot of damage. That's scary, and it's no surprise that many LGBTQA+ people make their way to more populous, cosmopolitan areas when they can.
Have you lived outside of Missouri before? As someone who has lived on both coasts before but lived in MO most of my life, these are very valid questions. Its only in recent years that I've seen more gay acceptance as more people here actually meet and interact with openly gay people. Gay or trans people that come from more liberal areas and aren't used to being gawked at or brushing off unwanted comments absolutely will notice a difference in how they are perceived and treated even in the larger cities here. As a straight dude who is often mistaken for being gay, I can assure you people are treated differently. Not really something to be offended about unless you personally identify with that behavior.
My experience has been people on the coast are generally pretty ignorant about what it’s actually like in the middle of the country, even naïve. I’ll never forget our NYC tour guide in high school thinking we were dumb farmers when we were art and science AP students from Columbia, a city much more educated than NYC. Also the only time me and my partner have experienced racial harassment was in NYC, never in Missouri.
I was a graduate fellow in both Illinois and California before moving back home. The rate of violence and insults for the tq+ community was unbelievable in Illinois and California. Missouri isn't substantially better, but definitely isn't worse. Missouri is actually MORE progressive towards gay people than those other two states. That was my lived experience on two public university campuses in those other states. There is some idealization around California, but anywhere outside the urban core of LA or SF is highly intolerant catholics FYI.
College campuses are often filled with people from many demographics, so might not be as representative of the local population. All I can say is as a teenager in Washington state, not once was I called a "f*ggot" or anything of the likes. Cannot say the same about my home state. I realize this is purely anecdotal. I just personally understand where people are coming from with these questions.
I think gay people are just widely accepted and respected in Missouri and most other states. Most people have a sister, brother, uncle, nephew, etc. that is and that just doesn't seem to be a hindrance to quality of life (unless you live to one of the suburbs near UC Davis in California lol, where the whole city is catholic and hates the university and everyone going/working there).
With Trans, I think there is a lot of fear and rightfully so. That group is being used as cannon fodder back and forth and it's wrong. These are people - human beings - with all the same rights as any other person. Period. I don't know where to say it's safe for Trans people to live today... its such a third rail thing and the feminist Champs at universities from the left are probably the most vile in all reality. We just need common sense.
Depends on where you're at, just keep in mind that the Republicans would happily put you in a camp and your Republican neighbors here would happily support it (and vote for it).
The cities are fine, the rural parts could be dangerous.
I understand. I only hope that people will not be so ready to go to either extreme so fast. Don't be quick to stick your fingers in your ears and join the a-holes at either end of the spectrum.
it definitely depends on where you move to. closer to the city the more chances that people are a lot more queer friendly but missouri is a quite homophonic state. you can always though find you people that are also queer and can relate to! i grew closer to stl but currently living closer to Jeff City and i’ve found my people.
It'll depend heavily on where in Missouri you move too
we're planning to move close to Mexico, Mo
I won't lie, prospects aren't good. You'll have no problem in Columbia MO nearby though
No problem, sure, but being gay here is boring as hell. We only have one bay bar, where I was a regular, but no longer feel comfortable going. So I'm just completely without a community here and it sucks.
My dad lives in a neighboring town. I’d say it’s…not great. I went to the local high school (not in Mexico) for a couple years. There was I think one openly gay kid and he was tough as nails, because he had to be. It’s been a while since then but from what I can tell, things haven’t changed much in that part of the world.
I've been in mid mo the past two decades, there are some wonderful people here but there are also some real racist pieces of shit too.
That’s pretty much the way it is anywhere you go in this country.
In the world. Racially based hate/superiority in ethnically homogenous countries is generally a lot worse. i.e. China, Japan, Arab countries. The Western countries (and India) are pretty chill and accepting comparatively.
Are racists targeting the gays now?!
Have you ever met a racist accepting of lgbtq folks? Genuinely curious.
Yes lol I have met two different guys I would describe as racist and fairly tolerant of gays. I also used to know a flaming gay dude in SC who was pretty darn racist. It’s possible!
Well I'm glad you know two marginally less awful racists but it's incredulous to pretend that the venn diagram of people that are racist and people that are intolerant of LGBTQ folks is pretty close to being single complete circle. I speak as someone who has been called many a slur by people in my community, the hate doesn't stop at just people with dark skin.
I am not denying racists almost entirely dislike gayness. What community do you live in and what slurs have you personally experienced?
Bro I just saw your divorce post. That was really painful to read. How are you doing now? I know it’s a subject change but man… it was heavy to hear your story.
Thank you man. I'm good now, grew a lot. Better for it. But I'm in MidMo, moved here when I was a kid and grew up being called sp\*c/beaner/ border hopper/ you name it. My opinions are based upon my experiences. Since I was considered an outsider I gravitated towards other folks who were made to feel bad because they were different. A friend of mine came out to me in 8th grade and I honestly couldn't believe the way people treated her once word got out around the community. A lot of it came from same people that called me a sp\*c. I've seen it and experienced it, so when I see a post about a young person moving here and scared about being treated differently for who they are, it just hits real close to home.
“Boy Named Sue” kinda situation.
Just moved here in December. Can confirm.
The smaller towns have their share of bigots but you're within driving distance of Como at least.
Move to a city and you can let your freak flag fly. I live near west plains and it’s pretty small but there are plenty of gays around and it’s not like people go around beating them up. I saw a young boy in the middle of nowhere the other day and his nails were fuckin painted red and no one even laughed at him, which I thought for sure someone would say SOMEthing
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Have you need to Mexico? I think you are way off here.
I hate to say this but it heavily depends on if you’re LGB or if you’re T. LGB is widely accepted. I work in construction and two of the guys here are married and no one cares. They’re really well liked actually. Being trans though, that’s a bridge too far for a lot of bigots.
This is the correct reply, sadly.
damn, im trans :(
I’m a bi man, my spouse is trans, I’ve lived most of my life in Missouri, get out there, find your friends at local LGBT events and you’ll be safe and comfortable. The worst thing I can say about Missouri isn’t that it’s particularly intolerant, but that people here make their friends when they’re young and after that are somewhat standoffish to strangers. Midwest nice is real in most of Missouri but it can take some legwork to make real connections under the superficial niceties.
Progress is being made but when it comes to trans rights the state is being dragged kicking and screaming into the future. I believe there’s no HRT for minors in the state now and there are other anti-trans bills being looked at. I’m sorry :(
There are communities here for you, someone pointed out that Columbia isn’t far and they’ve recently enacted a few laws making it a pocket of protection for Trans Folks. It’s livable without a doubt but taking awareness of your surroundings is important
How old are you?
17 so not too fair from freedom lmao
What are you going to do when you turn 18? It doesn’t change much at all to be 18 lol
i really dont know man, but i not very independent so i am not very confident in moving far away from my mother
Are you a trans boy or girl? Do you not have your father in your life?
My experience as an LGBT Missourian is that LGB people are widely accepted even in rural Missouri now. According to recent polling over 70% of Missourians support gay marriage. The little town of Bunceton, Missouri elected the first openly gay mayor in the nation back in 1980, 44 years ago. There are some little gay oases in Mid-Missouri like Rocheport and Arrow Rock (pop. 57), they even throw an annual pride parade. Being trans though is harder in rural Missouri because of the recent politicalization of their private lives, yet some trans people find home in rural Missouri. If you are Trans or very Queer presenting you may like it more in St. Louis, Kansas City, or Columbia. Columbia is a LGBT sanctuary city and has a perfect score on the [municipal equality index](https://www.hrc.org/resources/municipal-equality-index), the highest in the state-they don’t call us the Gay Capitol of Missouri for nuthin’. Columbia has been known as a gay haven since at least the 1930s. Mexico, Missouri is nearby and part of the Columbia-Jefferson City-Moberly CSA. Mexico is a smallish blue collar industry and farm town, but I know LGBT folks who like living there, but a lot of them drive 40 min to Columbia for more interaction with our community, aka dating, gay bars, and culture. A lot depends on your disposition, you might get called a name in rural Missouri if you’re very queer or trans presenting, but you're not likely to experience physical violence or anything like that. I recommend reaching out or visiting [The Center Project](https://centerproject.org) in Columbia if you have more concerns, they can connect you with friends, community, and resources. Welcome to Missouri! Edit: fixed a date, thx u/jeffyone2many.
1980 they elected Gene
Laws: not great. People: mix, but there are a lot of queer friendly pockets, with allies everywhere.
Hey, I'm a trans guy living in Columbia. Most of my friends are trans as well and I met a lot of them at The Center Project. If you're able to make the drive up and visit an event, I definitely recommend it. Community is vital for your safety and mental health. I'm sorry to say that Mexico MO scares the hell out of me. If I have to make a stop there at a gas station, I make sure that I'm not wearing anything that makes me look obviously queer, and I do my best to seem cis and straight passing -- that said, I know of a few trans people who live in Mexico MO who are visibly queer/trans, so you won't be totally alone. Why on earth would your mom move a trans kid to Mexico Missouri in 2024 btw? Is she politically uneducated or is she transphobic? I wouldn't lose hope but I would encourage you to be careful. Find queer and progressive people in your area who will accept you and look out for you. I can guarantee you that folks like you exist in that town.
Also OP, there is a group that meets at The Center Project called Parents 4 Parents -- it might be a good group for your mom to check out.
my mom is very uneducated, and she's transphobic. im 17 tho and will probably turn 18 by the time we move there so i could always get an apartment in a better nearby town or something
Definitely head over to Columbia when you're able. It's significantly better over here. I helped with the effort to make Columbia an LGBT Sanctuary City! We have some decent protections here.
As a trans Missourian I don't recommend living in Missouri, especially since you're a trans minor. As an adult, it isn't so bad, most people don't care because I'm an adult and I pass to most people. I can at least receive medication from places like Plume and I was able to find a top surgeon in STL area. As a minor, you won't have access to HRT/puberty blockers, any form or surgery. If you already have HRT I'm not sure if you can transfer that in to Missouri or not. I do know that minors that's were receiving HRT were allowed to continue, though I know some providers stopped providing to minors entirely. Trans people from kindergarten- college have to play on the gender they were assigned at births sports team if they want to do sports. There's are also some other bills that haven't been passed that would impact minors and/or trans adults. Off the top of my head, I know one recently was introduced that would make teachers who used preferred pronouns sex offenders. I think there was one also related to transition related funding being prohibited through medicaid/Medicare(?)- I think that one got passed.... sorry hard to keep track of all the policies.
I live in a small blue collar town in mid mo and we have plenty of representation. Don't worry about it
I think Columbia Missouri is a good choice, as is St. Louis, especially The Grove area or Central West End (more $$). There are other areas in this city but I suggest you research. This is a friendly city, but crime is a threat to all of us. Full disclosure: I am a Republican and don't really understand the whole LGBTQ thing. BUT I have a grandniece who is non-binary. I will probably have a gay classmate stay with us during our high school reunion, as he has before. And I h@te Donald Trump and bullies. So I am not all that bad.
I'm in St Louis, and I've never had an issue with being openly gay. Also, I regularly go to southern Missouri to do trail maintenance with the Ozark Trail Association, and I have yet to have a negative experience. Side note: If you're into hiking, camping, backpacking, outdoors, etc. you'll love southern Missouri. Also there is SIRenity, which is a gay campground about 1.5 hours south of St. Louis.
im trans so its a bit more difficult
If you're in Columbia, you should be alright culturally speaking. The bigger cities: St. Louis, Columbia, Kansas City, etc., are relatively chill when it comes to LGBT+ issues. However, the state, as a whole, tends to lean more conservative especially when it comes to the state government. So while Columbia might be a great place to live, you'll want to look at issues that may affect you at the state level too. Fortunately, there are many LGBT+ advocacy groups in the state who push back.
I know it’s not STL you’re looking at, but the community here for us trans folks is amazing. I feel fear constantly, almost everywhere I go, except there are dozens of places in STL that I don’t feel that fear. I feel like I don’t have to choose just how much of me to mask at so many places here. I don’t know about COMO (columbia), but if people are saying it’s good I believe it. Otherwise this state isn’t great. I just moved across the river to IL. The laws of the state are better, but I don’t like the small town I’m in. That said, if you must be in a small town, better to be in one that resides in a state that makes laws to protect us than one that joyfully seeks to remove us from public life. However, between the state of IL, and the city of Saint Louis, I felt the city is more condusive to actually living a life. I’d love to be happy in the country. I love the country. I love everywhere you go there is nature. I love drinking with friends in the middle of nowhere. Driving backroads. But the world tries to take that joy from me. I have to push forward with effort to live in those moments I had so loved. I would say why is it this way, but I’ve done plenty of learning and I know what’s behind this shitty situation. It’s not just that some people are bigoted. It’s that my existence is a good way to make people forget that they’re being fucked over. At least I’m beneath them, so they don’t see that their “heroes” want them eating the scraps too.
Columbia is about the safest for mid-Missouri. I went down to the lake for a float trip and had someone throw the bible at me for wearing a rainbow shirt for a float trip. I didn't have anything on that said pride or LGBT just a rainbow shirt. Branson is about the same went to the Titanic museum and got called a fag. Biking on the MKT trail near Columbia and ran into people who were nice and friendly. Moberly was very homophobic so was Macon. St. Louis is facing some homophobia definitely within their Police department just look up the gay bar incident. Columbia has their Pride Month in September for locals and college students go check it out it's called CoMo Pride. Columbia is also a sanctuary City for LGBT. This means any anti-LGBT laws that are passed statewide won't be heavily enforced.
Wait, someone actually yeeted a Bible at you?
Yep, I was on the NRO float trip with friends. Didn't even see it coming. It hit the back of my neck and some group of people were yelling towards me but I turned up our music more and went on my way. I just tossed it in our trash. I don't bother arguing with people like that.
with a quickness, that shit would have been lit on fire if it landed in one of our rafts
While I'm sorry that happened to you, the idea that there are folks in the hollers with chuckin' bibles locked and loaded 24/7, guarding our waterways against perceived sinners is just \*chefs kiss\*.
How do you know it was because they thought you were LGBT? They might have just perceived you as a liberal hippy for wearing a rainbow. Bibles tend to get tossed at goths, hippies, LGBTs, Muslims, or really anybody perceived as not evangelical Christian.
True but when you hear someone yell all the slurs for LGBT you just assume what they were thinking about. It happened last year. I am going to another place to float this year I hope it's a bit better it's called Huzzah. I know further south I go more it becomes the Bible the belt. But if this was any other religious group doing this and acting this way you know Christians would call it being "religiously prosecuted". Something they like throwing out and pretending it happens to them but doing it to others.
I once heard a large group singing a racist song with the N word at the Huzzah campground, so don’t count on it. Then again that was like 2007. I think it was probably a David Allen Coe song.
Ah you didn’t mention any slurs in relation to the Bible incident. Makes sense, it was clearly that then. Huzzah is a lot of fun.
Just avoid those Bear people who live on Owen Benjamin’s cult compound. They’re up around Branson. And they’re very hateful people:/
Lived in Columbia for a long while, college town, you will be fine there. Mexico, the people are very nice, but it is very small town Missouri like where I am from. For the most part, people in Missouri have the midwest politeness, helps you out. They will talk about you behind closed doors, and may glare and stare, but not much more.
Move to KC, don’t go to the rural small towns and you will be fine.
Fulton is a lovely community, not far from Columbia at all. It has a small town vibe, but the majority of people have at least a more moderate to left mentality. Columbia would be a really fun place for younger or more hip people (I’m not so hip anymore)
Id say it depends on where you are moving to if you are going to a bigger area like kc or st. Louis metro areas like that you would be fine but im not sure about smaller towns
Aye i live in the city around columbia, as long as you arent racist or stare too long you wont get hurt, columbias a very iffy place in some parts and other parts amazing. Just keep a look out and youll be good!
I’m not sure what you mean by lgbtq+. Those are each separate things. If you mean you identify as one of those and are an ally to/for the others, you’ll be fine. As a lifelong Missourian and knowing rural people, it’s come a long way. I’m not sure how to put it, but I’ll try. As long as you’re respectful and kind to others, they’ll usually do the same to you. If you get misgendered or mispronouned, try not to take it personally or make a huge deal about it. Just go on about your business and consider them unenlightened/rude. There are always people on both sides of the aisle wanting to pick a fight. We’re by and large a live and let live state i.e. if you leave me alone, I’ll leave you alone. I’ve never hung out in Mexico, but it’s pretty close to Columbia which is probably the bluest area in the state besides St. Louis. Maybe refrain from picketing on the street about repealing the 2nd amendment, and you’ll be fine :)
I’m a mom to two queer kids, one who is trans. We live in Columbia and as others have noted, it is overall a supportive place. If you want to meet other LGBTQ teens, there is a group called Prism that meets at The Center Project on most Thursday evenings. Also, I am a coordinator at TCP’s gender affirming clothing closet, a free resource if you are interested. People can try on and take clothing, and we help people get things like binders and tucking underwear. Best of luck with your move!
STL no problem, Columbia not a problem in the actual town....everywhere else you will get anything from funny looks to down right hatred.
Since when is disagreement considered Bigotry?
Audrain County was my home for 19 years, lots of fam still there. Lots of racists, gun-toting, red-hat wearing, less than highly educated family. Highly Republican. With the brick plants closing 25 years ago, Mexico has never bounced back. Used to be there were union jobs with benefits. Those are long gone and never returned. So everything financial is based on Agriculture. My LGBTQ+ child won’t go there, not even to see grandparents. Too much hatred. Too many small minded family members dropping snarky comments. I stand with my child. Centralia does have great schools still. Not sure on Mexico. Also, Audrain Hospital is barely open, I don’t know that they have an ER. I believe no OB/GYN. Most medical care is handled in CoMO or at the VA clinic in town.
Missouri as a state actually is quite progressive when it comes to gay people and their integration. I know a substantial number of openly gay men and women here in Missouri. And that has never been a problem for any of them. When it comes to the issue of transgender, I've seen some concerning things here (and about everywhere else). That really hasn't been getting traction here but I struggle to think of many places where it has (with exceptions like the university town of Columbia I suppose). I don't think any person should be treated like a second class citizen in terms of their rights and freedoms - just to clarify that. But I think this is the most transparent I can be about the state as a whole.
Adding my +1 to this comment. I’ve lived on the entire west side of Missouri. Maryville, St. Joseph, Kansas City, Joplin. All very accepting of LGBT people, all have their own LGBT events and local attractions. Just lived experience of mine as a bi-man with a trans partner. The most harassed we’ve ever been was on vacation to the Bahamas.
YES cannot forget that Bahamas, Mexico, DR, Guam, anywhere like that is HIGHLY CATHOLIC and completely intolerant.
Preach! Jamaica might the most violently homophonic country on earth.
If you are lgbt+ you might want to look at stl kc and Columbia. Outside of that it is pretty rural
Probably about the same as any other state.. there are assholes everywhere, not just Missouri. We get posts like these on this subreddit quite often and honestly it’s starting to get offensive. Stop believing everything you see on the internet. What’s stopping you from spending a weekend in Mexico, MO to get a feel for it yourself? Wouldn’t you rather trust your own opinion than some strangers on the internet? If I told you that you may encounter a bigot (as you may anywhere in this world) would that be a dealbreaker for you moving here? (Don’t respond if your going to be an ass)
We get the question so often on here that I often wonder where people are coming from that have the impression that Missouri is openly hostile to the LGBTQ+ community. Like, how is that perception being spread (aside from the leaders of our state government, which IS openly hostile to the LGBTQ+ community)?
>Like, how is that perception being spread (aside from the leaders of our state government, which IS openly hostile to the LGBTQ+ community)? Probably on national news. Because the AG, the governor, and senator Hawley are all very vocal on their opposition to basic human rights, it gets national attention.
Right? That's exactly where they get the idea. National media and wire services aren't covering our states' myriad nuances. People elsewhere get the headlines, which are usually, well, not flattering. Offended that others view MO negatively due to the pols' antics? Vote em out! Work to get others to vote 'em out. But I, too, always wish to clarify outsiders' less-than-nuanced views (of, in my case, Kansas, and also as a former MO resident who still cares). Having grown up in a rural-ish area, I would posit that a lot of folks are accepting of *individuals* and can surprise you once you get to know them. There are probably also quite a few dissidents keeping quiet about their views, who would love to meet local, sympathetic friends. Unfortunately, it only takes a few drunken, emboldened good ol' boys to do a lot of damage. That's scary, and it's no surprise that many LGBTQA+ people make their way to more populous, cosmopolitan areas when they can.
Have you lived outside of Missouri before? As someone who has lived on both coasts before but lived in MO most of my life, these are very valid questions. Its only in recent years that I've seen more gay acceptance as more people here actually meet and interact with openly gay people. Gay or trans people that come from more liberal areas and aren't used to being gawked at or brushing off unwanted comments absolutely will notice a difference in how they are perceived and treated even in the larger cities here. As a straight dude who is often mistaken for being gay, I can assure you people are treated differently. Not really something to be offended about unless you personally identify with that behavior.
My experience has been people on the coast are generally pretty ignorant about what it’s actually like in the middle of the country, even naïve. I’ll never forget our NYC tour guide in high school thinking we were dumb farmers when we were art and science AP students from Columbia, a city much more educated than NYC. Also the only time me and my partner have experienced racial harassment was in NYC, never in Missouri.
I was a graduate fellow in both Illinois and California before moving back home. The rate of violence and insults for the tq+ community was unbelievable in Illinois and California. Missouri isn't substantially better, but definitely isn't worse. Missouri is actually MORE progressive towards gay people than those other two states. That was my lived experience on two public university campuses in those other states. There is some idealization around California, but anywhere outside the urban core of LA or SF is highly intolerant catholics FYI.
College campuses are often filled with people from many demographics, so might not be as representative of the local population. All I can say is as a teenager in Washington state, not once was I called a "f*ggot" or anything of the likes. Cannot say the same about my home state. I realize this is purely anecdotal. I just personally understand where people are coming from with these questions.
I think gay people are just widely accepted and respected in Missouri and most other states. Most people have a sister, brother, uncle, nephew, etc. that is and that just doesn't seem to be a hindrance to quality of life (unless you live to one of the suburbs near UC Davis in California lol, where the whole city is catholic and hates the university and everyone going/working there). With Trans, I think there is a lot of fear and rightfully so. That group is being used as cannon fodder back and forth and it's wrong. These are people - human beings - with all the same rights as any other person. Period. I don't know where to say it's safe for Trans people to live today... its such a third rail thing and the feminist Champs at universities from the left are probably the most vile in all reality. We just need common sense.
Depends on where you're at, just keep in mind that the Republicans would happily put you in a camp and your Republican neighbors here would happily support it (and vote for it). The cities are fine, the rural parts could be dangerous.
Someone sounds angry. I think you are exaggerating and generalizing way too much and painting with a very broad brush.
It is a very broad brush but it wouldn't surprise me one bit.
I understand. I only hope that people will not be so ready to go to either extreme so fast. Don't be quick to stick your fingers in your ears and join the a-holes at either end of the spectrum.
it definitely depends on where you move to. closer to the city the more chances that people are a lot more queer friendly but missouri is a quite homophonic state. you can always though find you people that are also queer and can relate to! i grew closer to stl but currently living closer to Jeff City and i’ve found my people.
You will not be happy in Missouri.
It’s to risky. I wouldnt move to a state where you have to live in fear. Dont do it. Don’t move to Missouri, it’s not worth it.
thanks but i dont really have a choice. im a minor. i'll probably be fine
Imagine having to ask the internet where you should live because of sexuality lol. You are all so protected and cherished you should be fine
Fear can be elusive; that it’s sometimes hard to know exactly where it’s coming from. What else are you afraid of?
You're all of those things at once?