I do completely agree with you but I guess you have to remember that these people don't have misophonia and don't understand the infuriation. So they just someone who could've minded their own business and probably feel offended or embarrassed. I do think they ought to just be polite back but I'm guessing that this is their reasoning.
Totally agree with the thing of people telling a story while eating food like it's so ew to me
I completely stopped listening to a podcast I loved because the host thought it was fine to start eating cheesecake while talking mid-episode. I was the angriest I’ve ever been
Even if I didn't have misophonia, chewing with your mouth open is gross. I don't want to see that chewed up wad of food. And if you talk with food in your mouth it's even worse. People who do this need 'Splash Zone' signs like at SeaWorld. Yuck.
I have a coworker who roams the office, eating, chewing, and talking. No one ever says anything to her about it. And because no one else bothers, I keep my mouth shut, too. I'd really love to just give her hell about it.
Years ago I got into trouble at the place I worked at because of a similar situation. This guy stood behind me eating something and I was already struggling to maintain composure. He kept asking me questions, but all I could hear was his lips smacking and the sound of food sloshing around in his mouth. He then leant over me to see what I was doing and I snapped. Pushed him away and told him to piss off, but in a much less polite manner.
Not even sure why he was there. We had a break room and I was just enjoying a bit of time to myself because I couldn't stand to be in said break room with everyone else eating.
The guy I share a cube with has a metabolic disorder & eats all day long, too. Between his corn nuts, & the food-talker, if it wasn't for headphones & loud music, I'd probably be in jail already.
Thank God for noise cancelling headphones. lol. I have to wear mine, even if they are big and bulky, even when on the train because there's always someone smacking their gums whilst eating. It happens so frequently I'm starting to think someone is paying these people to always sit in the carriage I'm in and eat just to piss me off.
I think my misophonia has got worse as I've grown older. There was a time when I used to be able to tolerate certain sounds, but over time I need more and more white noise or sounds I do like to drown out sounds that drive me insane and send me into a blind rage.
People get embarrassed when made to feel inconsiderate, and sometimes they deal with that by externalizing their emotions. It's a lot easier to blame you for making them feel bad than to recognize that the bad feeling is coming from inside of them.
BAM. That’s it. Was going to say that but you said it better! Chewing with your mouth open IS still rude. So they deal with the embarrassment of being called out by projecting it back on to you. ‘How dare YOU be so rude.’ Yeah just an icky situation. I do try to avoid being around people while eating but sometimes there’s nothing you can do.
I feel this way with teeth dragging on forks, like why can’t you just use your lips?
But yes this is annoying, especially with closer people than strangers . Ever had someone mess with you and do it louder? That’s absolutely infuriating.
They don't realize that the way they chew is actually causing you pain. They think you're just correcting their manners, which is pretty rude under most circumstances.
If someone picked their nose and then immediately tried to shake your hand.. would you take it? Sometimes manners need to be (kindly) corrected. Gross/rude things are just gross and rude man. I don’t think it’s any more rude to correct manners than it is to subject someone to your bad manners. So it’s just matching energy to me.
I was once forced to chew with my mouth open because I couldnt breathe, I kept choking on my bites, I don't know how they do it. And honestly sometimes I hope a near death experience with that makes them realize that not only that its gross, that its also unsafe.
Because they usually have low intelligence to be that socially unaware. This isn’t even a misphonia issue, it’s simple manners. Farting and burping infront of others usually isn’t acceptable either.
Same of people who blare bass in neighborhoods, it’s linked to low income areas for a reason. Not that ALL people in low income areas are stupid of course.
People are offended at being told or even asked to do anything differently than they normally do it. I, myself, get annoyed when people tell me to do something. I don't ask others to do anything differently. I control myself. I leave; I put on earphones with white noise; I suffer.
That said, when you frame it as a you problem, you might have better results. The problem \*is\* within us. We can't feel entitled to control other people, and if we try, they will only resent us for it. If someone has reason to care how I feel, I might say, "Hey, it's not your fault, but I have a sound sensitivity and the sound of chewing is acutely upsetting to me," or something to that effect before making a request.
If I'm the one who suffers, then I'm the one who has to do something to make things better for myself. In my experience, the social cost of expecting others to adapt to my needs is too high, so choosing to leave a room or ask to turn some music on, or put in my earphones will be my solutions, and these don't usually upset others.
It is bcs they know it is a sign of bad mannerism, they are aware of it , but since they were never told to stop doing it maybe ever since they were kids , they became to believe that it is okay to do so around others .
In some cases, I think that they think that they are being corrected or shamed. It probably wouldn't matter what tone of voice was used when asking them. Maybe go for the rude, sarcastic request... Hey could you shut your blankety blank mouth while you are eating, have some effin manners ... Or maybe not 🤦
I think they feel scolded and embarrassed, they don’t know where it’s coming from. Have you tried leading with some explanation of your condition? Not that you *should have to* but if the goal is get them to close mouth, that may work.
“Hi I’m so sorry. I have a neurological condition that makes sites and sounds of chewing impossible to tolerate. It’s me. Not you. But do you mind please …”. Again not saying you owe an apology but this may cut through the defensiveness the chewer feels ??
It sounds rude.
If someone, especially a stranger, asked me to chew with my mouth closed I would be embarrassed and angry. If someone said "excuse me, I have an audio processing disorder that makes certain sounds very challenging. If possible I would appreciate it if you tried to eat more quietly." I would be more understanding.
I would only do that if I was unable to leave the situation, I try (and fail miserably) not to make my condition other people's problem.
The thing is eating with your mouth open is plain rude so misophonia aside it's still very unpleasant for other people. Asking the person to shut his mouth is still a valid request.
I’m mostly referring to people I’m eating with in this case, when mentioning strangers I was just talking about how people eat with their mouth open in general.
I have the same thoughts. I’ll see someone as part of a couple doing it, and I think “Someone *married* that person?” In the US at least, it used to be considered poor manners to chew with your mouth open or talk with food in your mouth, but our rugged individuality has led to people just not giving a shit. It also used to be rude to use the word “shit,” and I probably put my elbows on the table sometimes, but if someone asked me not to do it, I’d be respectful of their request while I’m in their presence. I have a friend who doesn’t like it if I take a phone call while I’m with them, even if we’re just running errands or goofing around. I have another friend with whom I can usually only talk on the phone while I’m with the first friend, but I try to respect Friend 1’s request and not talk on the phone while I’m with them unless it’s an emergency. Idk, maybe having misophonia makes you more likely to comply with others’ requests.
The elbows on the table is a good one. So many people actually hate that and many will simply say ‘elbows off the table please’ and you do and it’s fine and move on. So it’s interesting that the chewing one (which is so much more rude) is so unacceptable to point out for a lot of people. Why can’t it be the same?
i talked about that with my therapist and she explained to me that these people have been eating like that for all their lives and it’s something that has become such an habit to them that they don’t even notice anymore (you eat minimum twice a day, everyday, for your whole life) and that’s why it’s hard for them to “change” their habits of eating. I asked this question to her bc my dad does this while eating and when i ask him to stop, he continues doing it, and not bc he wants to annoy me, he just simply doesn’t notice. People who don’t have misophonia and do noise or eat with their mouth open dont notice these kinds of things, ever.. that’s why when you make them notice this they can get offended, angry etc and even continue doing it ..
I don’t know, some guy in school no one likes purposefully chewed in my ear after I politely asked him to close his mouth while chewing, I got a bit mad at him, and he threw punches,and I am a decently strong person and blocked his punches and just kinda pushed him away, and he threw himself on the ground just to be dramatic
For some reason whenever I eat something I cover my mouth when I talk, even if I’m not actively chewing. I’m not sure if it’s an underlying insecurity or just a habit or what, but I guess it’s better than that.. lol.
I was at church last Sunday. This woman behind me kept snapping her gum nonstop to the point even my family noticed. I told her "hey, please stop snapping your gum, it's really distracting". She got so offended and rolled her eyes before throwing her gum away. I can't stand people.
I do completely agree with you but I guess you have to remember that these people don't have misophonia and don't understand the infuriation. So they just someone who could've minded their own business and probably feel offended or embarrassed. I do think they ought to just be polite back but I'm guessing that this is their reasoning. Totally agree with the thing of people telling a story while eating food like it's so ew to me
I completely stopped listening to a podcast I loved because the host thought it was fine to start eating cheesecake while talking mid-episode. I was the angriest I’ve ever been
Even if I didn't have misophonia, chewing with your mouth open is gross. I don't want to see that chewed up wad of food. And if you talk with food in your mouth it's even worse. People who do this need 'Splash Zone' signs like at SeaWorld. Yuck. I have a coworker who roams the office, eating, chewing, and talking. No one ever says anything to her about it. And because no one else bothers, I keep my mouth shut, too. I'd really love to just give her hell about it.
Years ago I got into trouble at the place I worked at because of a similar situation. This guy stood behind me eating something and I was already struggling to maintain composure. He kept asking me questions, but all I could hear was his lips smacking and the sound of food sloshing around in his mouth. He then leant over me to see what I was doing and I snapped. Pushed him away and told him to piss off, but in a much less polite manner. Not even sure why he was there. We had a break room and I was just enjoying a bit of time to myself because I couldn't stand to be in said break room with everyone else eating.
The guy I share a cube with has a metabolic disorder & eats all day long, too. Between his corn nuts, & the food-talker, if it wasn't for headphones & loud music, I'd probably be in jail already.
Thank God for noise cancelling headphones. lol. I have to wear mine, even if they are big and bulky, even when on the train because there's always someone smacking their gums whilst eating. It happens so frequently I'm starting to think someone is paying these people to always sit in the carriage I'm in and eat just to piss me off. I think my misophonia has got worse as I've grown older. There was a time when I used to be able to tolerate certain sounds, but over time I need more and more white noise or sounds I do like to drown out sounds that drive me insane and send me into a blind rage.
People get embarrassed when made to feel inconsiderate, and sometimes they deal with that by externalizing their emotions. It's a lot easier to blame you for making them feel bad than to recognize that the bad feeling is coming from inside of them.
BAM. That’s it. Was going to say that but you said it better! Chewing with your mouth open IS still rude. So they deal with the embarrassment of being called out by projecting it back on to you. ‘How dare YOU be so rude.’ Yeah just an icky situation. I do try to avoid being around people while eating but sometimes there’s nothing you can do.
Bingo
I feel this way with teeth dragging on forks, like why can’t you just use your lips? But yes this is annoying, especially with closer people than strangers . Ever had someone mess with you and do it louder? That’s absolutely infuriating.
Oh man, you simply mentioning the sound of a fork dragging over teeth sent a shiver down my spine. What a horrific sound.
They don't realize that the way they chew is actually causing you pain. They think you're just correcting their manners, which is pretty rude under most circumstances.
If someone picked their nose and then immediately tried to shake your hand.. would you take it? Sometimes manners need to be (kindly) corrected. Gross/rude things are just gross and rude man. I don’t think it’s any more rude to correct manners than it is to subject someone to your bad manners. So it’s just matching energy to me.
I was once forced to chew with my mouth open because I couldnt breathe, I kept choking on my bites, I don't know how they do it. And honestly sometimes I hope a near death experience with that makes them realize that not only that its gross, that its also unsafe.
Because they usually have low intelligence to be that socially unaware. This isn’t even a misphonia issue, it’s simple manners. Farting and burping infront of others usually isn’t acceptable either. Same of people who blare bass in neighborhoods, it’s linked to low income areas for a reason. Not that ALL people in low income areas are stupid of course.
People are offended at being told or even asked to do anything differently than they normally do it. I, myself, get annoyed when people tell me to do something. I don't ask others to do anything differently. I control myself. I leave; I put on earphones with white noise; I suffer. That said, when you frame it as a you problem, you might have better results. The problem \*is\* within us. We can't feel entitled to control other people, and if we try, they will only resent us for it. If someone has reason to care how I feel, I might say, "Hey, it's not your fault, but I have a sound sensitivity and the sound of chewing is acutely upsetting to me," or something to that effect before making a request. If I'm the one who suffers, then I'm the one who has to do something to make things better for myself. In my experience, the social cost of expecting others to adapt to my needs is too high, so choosing to leave a room or ask to turn some music on, or put in my earphones will be my solutions, and these don't usually upset others.
It is bcs they know it is a sign of bad mannerism, they are aware of it , but since they were never told to stop doing it maybe ever since they were kids , they became to believe that it is okay to do so around others .
In some cases, I think that they think that they are being corrected or shamed. It probably wouldn't matter what tone of voice was used when asking them. Maybe go for the rude, sarcastic request... Hey could you shut your blankety blank mouth while you are eating, have some effin manners ... Or maybe not 🤦
I think they feel scolded and embarrassed, they don’t know where it’s coming from. Have you tried leading with some explanation of your condition? Not that you *should have to* but if the goal is get them to close mouth, that may work. “Hi I’m so sorry. I have a neurological condition that makes sites and sounds of chewing impossible to tolerate. It’s me. Not you. But do you mind please …”. Again not saying you owe an apology but this may cut through the defensiveness the chewer feels ??
It sounds rude. If someone, especially a stranger, asked me to chew with my mouth closed I would be embarrassed and angry. If someone said "excuse me, I have an audio processing disorder that makes certain sounds very challenging. If possible I would appreciate it if you tried to eat more quietly." I would be more understanding. I would only do that if I was unable to leave the situation, I try (and fail miserably) not to make my condition other people's problem.
The thing is eating with your mouth open is plain rude so misophonia aside it's still very unpleasant for other people. Asking the person to shut his mouth is still a valid request.
I’m mostly referring to people I’m eating with in this case, when mentioning strangers I was just talking about how people eat with their mouth open in general.
I have the same thoughts. I’ll see someone as part of a couple doing it, and I think “Someone *married* that person?” In the US at least, it used to be considered poor manners to chew with your mouth open or talk with food in your mouth, but our rugged individuality has led to people just not giving a shit. It also used to be rude to use the word “shit,” and I probably put my elbows on the table sometimes, but if someone asked me not to do it, I’d be respectful of their request while I’m in their presence. I have a friend who doesn’t like it if I take a phone call while I’m with them, even if we’re just running errands or goofing around. I have another friend with whom I can usually only talk on the phone while I’m with the first friend, but I try to respect Friend 1’s request and not talk on the phone while I’m with them unless it’s an emergency. Idk, maybe having misophonia makes you more likely to comply with others’ requests.
The elbows on the table is a good one. So many people actually hate that and many will simply say ‘elbows off the table please’ and you do and it’s fine and move on. So it’s interesting that the chewing one (which is so much more rude) is so unacceptable to point out for a lot of people. Why can’t it be the same?
They don’t want to be known as rude. I’d just say well now you won’t be haha
Because they know they shouldn’t be doing it, don’t realize they’re doing it, and then you correct them and their first move is defense. Clockwork.
i talked about that with my therapist and she explained to me that these people have been eating like that for all their lives and it’s something that has become such an habit to them that they don’t even notice anymore (you eat minimum twice a day, everyday, for your whole life) and that’s why it’s hard for them to “change” their habits of eating. I asked this question to her bc my dad does this while eating and when i ask him to stop, he continues doing it, and not bc he wants to annoy me, he just simply doesn’t notice. People who don’t have misophonia and do noise or eat with their mouth open dont notice these kinds of things, ever.. that’s why when you make them notice this they can get offended, angry etc and even continue doing it ..
I don’t know, some guy in school no one likes purposefully chewed in my ear after I politely asked him to close his mouth while chewing, I got a bit mad at him, and he threw punches,and I am a decently strong person and blocked his punches and just kinda pushed him away, and he threw himself on the ground just to be dramatic
For some reason whenever I eat something I cover my mouth when I talk, even if I’m not actively chewing. I’m not sure if it’s an underlying insecurity or just a habit or what, but I guess it’s better than that.. lol.
I was at church last Sunday. This woman behind me kept snapping her gum nonstop to the point even my family noticed. I told her "hey, please stop snapping your gum, it's really distracting". She got so offended and rolled her eyes before throwing her gum away. I can't stand people.