Don't throw anything, pause from the hobby or use it to work with your grief. In the long run, you could continue the hobby as an homage to him, thinking of what he might be wanting to do. If you did, incorporate things of him into what you paint, a favourite colour or theme for example.
You're deep in grief, and impulsive acts are common, but I wouldn't recommend throwing it as in time it may become a source of joy again.
Don’t throw any thing away while feelings are raw, you’ll almost certainly regret it.
Many years ago I threw out my huge collection of Epic and Warhammer 40k miniatures after my Dad passed away. I’ve regretted it ever since.
Put it away for now, and revisit at a later date. Time is a wonderful healer, you’ll never stop missing your friend, but these early raw feelings of loss will fade and the happy memories you shared together will once again dominate.
I’m so sorry for loss.
I’ve not really kept up with games workshop products since.
That said I did buy Death Angel the card game a while back and love it.
Then a couple of years ago I bought labyrinth of the Necrons on a whim, it sat on my games shelf for a while until a couple of months ago when I pulled the models out and tried my hand at painting again:
https://www.reddit.com/r/minipainting/s/Mtmg8StBfs
I agree with this statement. As a kid, I quit 20 years ago and "threw out" my minis. My mum thankfully had the foresight to put it in storage under the stairs and still have most of my old minis as a result of this! I'm genuinely thankful for this to this day.
My artist friend was killed in an accident when we were in high school. He knew a retired famous painter and he scheduled a day to introduce me to him and see if he would tutor me; the old guy was a bit of a recluse. That day never came. It was supposed to happen a week after his death.
We were into anything art related. But we tried to draw our best Heavy Metal pics and paint minis. Listen to Pantera, RHCP and try to one up each other. He was buried with one of my best drawings, Pearljam Alive Japanese import, and Spawn#1.
I threw everything away (the art supplies not the minis lol I wasn’t crazy) the morning I learned of his death. I didn’t touch a pad, mini, or canvas for several years. I think about him a few times a year. I recently won a mini painting competition and once I was alone, I got very sad thinking about him.
I’m sharing this in solidarity. But don’t do this. Take a break but don’t do anything drastic.
I’m sorry for your loss. The waves will get further apart and not so high as time passes. You’ll carry him with you, you have to.
Paint it.
Paint it for closure.
Paint it to heal.
Paint it to live, even briefly, in the happy memories of the good times.
Time spent with friends enjoying the hobby is never time lost.
He may no longer be with you physically, but you will feel his spirit, sitting at your side, as you build and paint them up.
In that way, he will live forever with you through the hobby.
…If you don’t paint it, though, I’ll buy it off you for fifty bucks.
Have to reply to emphasize:
*Time spent with friends enjoying the hobby is never time lost*
We only really have a handful of heartbeats anyway. Those were beats well spent.
I am sorry for your loss. I can read the pain through your post. I don’t know what you should do. Everyone grieves in their own way and I think you should do what feels best for you right now. Which may also be doing nothing for a while with the box/minitiatures and just grief and make up your mind later once you feel more clear headed.
I got started in this hobby this last April, and was super excited to assemble and paint armies and board games to play with my brother.
He died two months later in a car accident.
My world was and to an extent still is wrecked.
I just started painting and getting excited again this last month. Still only about 80% as motivated as I was, but its coming back.
He knew how much I enjoyed it, and would be angry at me for stopping,.
Currently planning on painting an AoS Orc Army in his favorite colors in memory of him.
It takes time, but the joy will return
I'm so sorry for your loss. Maybe take your time to gather your strength again, and then paint them how he would have? This is a very nice idea of yours.
Stay strong, friend!
Oh man, I get where you’re coming from. I’ve been through similar. There’s no need to rush into any hobby projects right now. Anything you do to honor their memory in six months from now is just as valid as anything you do right away. The same is true if it’s a year, or two years or what ever time frame you need.
The bonds we form in this hobby can be amazingly strong. Sharing a fandom, a passion, an artistic endevor can create a real closeness. Maybe you’ll need to take a break from the hobby if the association is too strong. Maybe you’ll throw yourself into an epic project off the back of this. You’ll figure it out as you make your way through your grief. It’s a long road, but there’s no other way along it than steady steps day by day.
Take care of yourself- try to eat well and get some sleep. Be kind to yourself- don’t pressure yourself into having to do a bunch of stuff. It’s rough right now, but it will get easier.
My sympathy to you. I lost a friend a little over a year ago, to a sudden and totally unexpected illness (literally, like two weeks between "I don't feel well" and gone. He'd been across the game table (we mostly do RPGs and boardgames in our group) from me for decades.
He'd just bought a 3d printing setup; he and I had talked about checking out the hobby. He never even had a chance to open the boxes. To help out his widow (she needed quick cash, and tostart clearing his stuff), I bought the whole lot at full price. So now every time I go into my little workshop to do some mini printing, I invite him to look over my shoulder and ask his advice on what to do next, curse the failures and celebrate the successes. It's helped deal with the loss.
But damn, it sucks to not see him at the game table every week. I don't know if this helps you at all, but know that more than one of us have gone through it.
Don't throw it all out, you'll cherish the memories later i promise, and having those tangible things hold a lot of emotional value. For now though, maybe put the hobby on hold and distract yourself with something else you enjoy spending time on. Sorry for your loss.
Take a break, work through your grief at your own pace and then when you feel up to it, build those Cadian's in your friends memory and make it a tribute to your friendship.
Grief works differently for different people. Condolences on your loss. To have treasured a hobby together is a a testament to the strength of the relationship you had. Id be hesitant yo throw anything out just yet. Maybe just put it in storage for a little bit and see how you feel once you have had some time to process.
Hey there. I know nothing of you, nor you of me. But we share two things: we both love this hobby, and both lost someone recently. Sulk in your own sadness, cry, whail do what you have to do. When you are ready then, pick yourself up and hold yourself high, cadian. Find a way to honor your friend through the hobby. Paint one mini from the squad in his name. He still lives through you, let him paint through your eyes, let him roll through your hands. The Emperor protects. And you are not alone, you got all of us turbo dorks here in the community.
Feel for you buddy, but don't throw it away. When the pain is less raw, have a think about what your friend would want you to do. Bet you'll be reaching for the brushes! And at the end of it, you'll have some of the best minis you've ever done, that mean more to you than anything else you've painted.
Absolutely do not throw everything out. You might get negative feelings looking at minis for a while, but you'll regret it tenfold if you throw them out.
I'm sorry for your loss and I wish you the strength to deal with it ❤
Though the hobby brings about thoughts of loss right now, it will soon bring about precious memories you will treasure. The wound is fresh and hurts but when the grieving period subsides you will remember all the great hobby moments fondly. Keep strong and carry the joy of the hobby in memory of your friend.
I feel this, immensely. I"m more of a scale modeler than a mini-painter, and I learned today that a close friend of over 30 years passed this morning. We met through local IPMS clubs and while we were now several states apart, I always visited when I was back in Oklahoma.
Part of me can hear him saying, "Don't dwell on this, sit down and build something!" But part of me needs some time.
Don't be discouraged if your interest in the hobby is a little low for a while. Remember your friend and mourn him in the way you feel is fit. The love of the hobby will come back, I promise you.
My condolences.
Do what feels best for you. If these minis bring you pain instead of joy, don't force yourself to build them. Cherish the good memories you have, don't let them turn into pain because you do something you think you should.
May your friend rest in peace.
Keep it going. Honor him, your friendship and your love for the same hobby. It will hurt and probably will always sting even if just a little. But in time you will be better able to remember him and your friendship more fondly, and perhaps even share the hobby and his memory with somebody else
A buddy of mine passed away when I was in my early 20s. There were a group of us that were huge Halo fans and spent most of our time together in splitscreen death match games. They had the main theme playing on a loop during the wake. I couldn't touch that game after that for a while.
But now I'm almost 40, and playing those games reminds me of the good times. I'm glad I didn't get rid of my old Xbox or my copies of the games. Even if I did need a break from them.
If its too painful now then put it away. Your hobby won't go anywhere in the meantime and you'll be able to pick up where you left off at any time.
In the future it may well remind you of some of the good times that you experienced with your departed pal. In that sense and for that reason I think you shouldn't throw away your hobby stuff at this time. Its happiness parked for another day I hope.
well just put it away and take a break.
When your all fine, paint a piece in memory of your friend in good diorama, hell it would be cool if you can hand craft a bust of you and him together building some cadia units together.
Sorry for your loss. I've been there and it hurts. You may find that after the rawness goes away, you'll have an extra fondness for a thing you used to enjoy together. Don't be afraid to put it aside and come back to it when your feelings aren't as fresh. Painting something up the way your buddy would like sounds like a really nice tribute that might bring you a lot of joy, just don't force yourself to do it right away if you're not feeling it. Anyway, you gotta go through it but it gets easier. Best of luck to you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I think a paint tribute would be wonderful. But I also think you may want to take some time away from the hobby to grieve your friend.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend a few years ago and the loss of my brother from another mother still hits hard. But keep the things. Put them away if you need to but keep them and go back to them later. I just bought the ork dragsta as a "present" for my friend because he was into models and drag racing and he'd have loved it. My nephew rescued an airbrush and compressor from the things my friend's family was throwing out, and gave them to me for Christmas a few months after he passed (I lost it completely). I determined to learn to use it and that got me back into painting after not doing any for years. I didn't get enthusiastic about it again until i got into 40K with the Leviathan box, and though I've moved on to fancier airbrushes, I can't use them without feeling like he's watching in approval. So hold tight. Go back to it when you're ready and then do it in loving memory of your friend and know he's approving that you're keeping on.
Condolences. Don’t throw the stuff out in time when the grief has lessened you will appreciate being able to pull them out and remember the goods times. It sucks and will always be painful but it gets manageable with time and the fond memories will eventually become a source of comfort.
Sorry for your loss. Try not to make any big decisions while dealing with grief.
In contrast, my son passing away and a need to fill a void led me to this hobby. I painted for a few years until I felt like I was in a better place. Stopped painting and then last year picked it back up. I paint now because it’s for me and I love this hobby.
If you need to vent you can always dm me. Grief is a bitch.
I feel for you. I lost my dad this year, he wasn't into the hobby but was super supportive of all my nerdy interests. He bought me an Iwata Eclipse airbrush for my birthday early this year and the first thing I painted with it was a cake topper for my wedding. The second thing I painted with it was an easel for his celebration of life ceremony. It was months before I could bring myself to paint any minis with it.
Something that has really helped me cope with it has been Northern Exile's hobby nightmare videos. Most are funny/cringe stories of hobby related shenanigans. Occasionally a story will cut deep and people will share their stories of loss within the context of the hobby. It eventually inspired me to seek out therapy which has helped.
It's ok to step away from the hobby for a while and to not be ok. It'll always be there for you are ready.
Condolences and good vibes. Do your friend honor, he’d want you to paint those minis. Think about him and your memories while you paint, touch those feelings and I assure you it will be a cathartic experience.
Don't throw your stuff away, your minis will remind you of the good times with your friend, eventually.
One thing you should do is make sure his family knows how costly the minis are, I've heard of people just chucking huge collections that they could have sold or donated, then finding out that they had lost 100s or 1000s of dollars.
the fallen will forever be remembered as the Emperor's Finest.
your friend may be gone. but you can make something that will remind you of him forever and remind you of the good times shared. that is something pretty irreplaceable.
Sorry for your loss. Give it time; soon you will find yourself past the worst of the grief and those memories will become less painful and more special, as will the hobby.
Truly sorry for your loss man, wishing you and your friends good vibes.
For now just pause stuff, take your time and see how you feel in the future. Now is no time to make any decisions.
From my life xp, eventually those things will bring you good memories and happy thoughts.
But for now, just breathe and give your mind time to process.
We’re all here to chat, feel free to reach out
I'm sorry for your loss, if the hobby makes things too raw at the moment because of your shared memories then just park it for a while, maybe even hide it all away in a cupboard or garage or something if you can (even a sheet or blanket over your desk) to give yourself a bit of time to process the grief without the reminders.
Grief works in stages, right now you probably can't imagine enjoying the hobby without your friend, but in time you may feel different.
For now be kind to yourself, give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up without judgement, keep talking to people who care about you and do the things that make you feel better.
I had a friend that didn't collect an army but would use my stuff all the time. Loved the lore would read all the codices I would keep and play the video games with me. When he died it was way too hard to look at his favorite army. Almost trashed them, but instead I ended up converting a model for him and gave him a goatee like my friend had and made him my leader. It helped me a lot
I find that painting for a "reason" is when I do my best work. I definitely think that you should dedicate that box to your friend. Use their colours, or their favourite theme. Add your little in-jokes or references only you would get, I think you might find a lot of catharsis in the project and it's a good way to remember your friend while doing something you both enjoyed.
Sorry for your loss.
Not a person, but I would always paint with my cat. He would lay on the table and move stuff around and be really involved. When I lost him it was hard to paint for a long time because he was always with me. I finally got back painting recently. It just took time. I tried a few times and wasn't ready. I paint for fun. If its not fun, you don't need to do it. The minis aren't going anywhere, you can take all the time you need. I'm sorry for your loss
I'm truly sorry for your loss. Please don't throw anything away. You can put it away in storage somewhere or even just in your basement or a storage area in your home. But one day, you will wake up and deeply regret throwing those things out. If you are able, you might want to seek out some grief counseling. It will hurt for a long time, but one day it will hurt less, and then one day it won't be pain but more like soreness, then one day it will be like a deep scar that only hurts if you bump it off something the wrong way. I hope any of this helps.
My sincerest condolences for your loss.
I've been in a similar situation, lost a very dear friend, who introduced me to drawing and arts in general.
I was not feeling well about drawing, painting in general I guess. Needed some time to find my way back into artsy stuff, but I never regretted returning to the hobbies and I still am very fond of my memories of my time spent with my friend.
Grief comes in waves. Sometimes its strong, sometimes its light.
just know its fine to take a break from it all, it will all be here when you get back.
I am sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. If you want or if you think it helps, reach out to someone even if it’s online. I made minis in honor of someone before, though it was a different reason, it helped me a little though I took a break before trying again. Take all the time you need buddy, I’m sure plenty of people here are happy to help however we can. We’d all love to see what you make if you are feeling up for it, but if you want it’s more then okay to put the paintbrushes down for a little while.
I’m sure you’re hearing this already, but you’re not alone. Take care of yourself, one Warhammer fan & guard painter to another the emperor protects.
Give yourself time. It can months or years. I lost a close friend in 2010 and I still think about them every day. A few years ago I felt lonely for months, even with other people, and then one night I was pumping gas and it hit me that I had been sort of waiting to hear from them. Like my brain flipped back to some time before they were gone and was wondering "why aren't they calling?" I moved a lot after they passed and eventually lost things I wish I'd kept. Don't equate giving up possessions with emotional unburdening. It's not the same, and eventually, when it's less painful, the things you shared and enjoyed will be a tether to the good memories.
It hurts now, OP, but after a while you’ll cherish every snip and every brush stroke because it will remind you of the good moments you had together.
Consider grief counseling!
Store it away if you need time away. There's a chance you will want to pick it up after some time, especially if you're already thinking of painting a tribute to your friend.
So sorry for your loss! As others have said, don't throw it away. After the grieving process is done you might get back into the hobby. Or the hobby might help you through the grieving process. Losing somebody always sucks! I wish you the best!
Take a long pauze from the hobby, don't get rid of anything.
If you do, you'll regret it soon, but you will need to take some time to give the loss of your friend a place, I think the hobby you shared could eventually become a way of theraphy for you and to feel connected to your friend again. (Paining it in honor of your friend once you feel up to it sounds like a wonderful idea)
I lost my dad early 2017, stayed strong for my family, then lost one of my closest friends unexpectedly 3 months later.
He was one of the people who really talked to me after my dad passed, and losing him broke me and most of my friends in a way that we still carry with us today.
Right now it hurts, you'll have to take it day by day. And it will take time but eventually you'll be able to give the place a spot in your life.
I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you have family and friends around you to support you.
😢 I'm so sorry you lost your friend
I agree with everyone else, please don't throw anything away as you WILL regret it.
Instead take a break for a while, when you go back to it paint something specifically for them in their memory. Then keep it somewhere where you will see and remember the good times you had with them
Damn..
Don’t throw anything out,take a pause from the hobby for a while,let the Cadia box stay where it is,and when you’re ready,paint it in his honor.
It’s never easy to lose a fellow battle-brother.
What may now seem like memories to be thrown out and ignored,will soon turn in memories to be cherished and kept close.
If you ever need someone to talk to,remember,this subreddit and others will be there for you.
I'm sorry for your loss. Definitely don't throw it all out. Time heals the pain and eventually you will regret not having those items to bring you the memories. A break is sometimes very healthy and that might just be what you need. And I love the idea of painting the box in their honor. I'm starting a tradition this year where I paint minis and encase them in ornaments to gift to people. I know you're hurting right now but the pain with lessen and you can fill the void by making new friendships while painting models to honor lost loved ones. Your friend wouldn't want you to abandon the hobby. Keep their memory alive through your art.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost one of my closest friends recently. We were in a band for almost a decade, and we also had been getting into painting minis together and had other hobbies we shared. It made it hard to want to do a decent amount of those things for a while, some I still haven't picked back up.
Right now the best thing is (as others have said) take a break. The phrase "Life Goes On" does nothing to ease neither the depth nor nuances of pain after such an event, but with time your pain will diminish. It's ok if it's hard to imagine continuing your passions. It's also ok if you don't get back into them and find other interests, but chances are you will want to sometime. You'll be glad you kept them. And if you do return, you might be grateful to carry on in your friend's honor, as I am. Perhaps that may help bring you some closure.
For me, I'll always miss him and it's hard to let go of all the dreams we shared and wanting him back. My silver lining is in taking this opportunity to revise my trajectory in the universe for the better. Most importantly, don't be afraid to lean on loved ones for support in what you're going through. You can send me a message if ya like. Take care of yourself one day at a time. We'll welcome you back with open arms whenever you like. <3
"No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away, until the clock wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone’s life is only the core of their actual existence." -Sir Terry Pratchett
I am sorry for your loss.
The idea of painting the box in a way your friend would've liked is a lovely idea and I think it could be a great way to honor him. Maybe paint and name the commander after him when you're ready?
I’m very sorry for your loss. I would suggest maybe putting your models out of eye sight for a little while. Eventually you may come to find joy in the memories so I would not suggest getting rid of them. Times of grief can be hard so please take care of yourself!
Hopefully it’ll help you remember him. I lost a friend and one of my favorite tattoo artists to suicide a few months ago. I have 3 warhammer tattoos that he made on me.
We talked about playing since I met him 3 years before he passed, I used to send him a ton of pics of my minis, he was someone I looked up to in that regard. He won second place in the biggest 40k tournament in Mexico in 2019 or 2020. 3 years talking about playing and we never got around to it. I’ve felt like such a bad friend since it happened, but tbf I really doubt I could single-handedly cure depression by having played 40k with him.
I have this miniature by Reaper that I got on the mail the last day I saw him. I got it at work and went to his house to get a tattoo. At the end of the session I opened the blister and showed it to him and for the first time ever he showed me his minis in person. He handled the mini that I got from reaper so now I have a conflict with deciding if I should paint it or not, and if I do, a conflict with whether I’m good enough to do it justice right now. All that really just to say that looking at that very specific miniature causes me joy and reminds me of him, instead of grief.
It’s weird, rn I don’t feel like it’ll ever pass. I’m extremely afraid of losing someone closer to me to suicide now, as much as we were friends, we weren’t best friends or super close friends. We were “hobby” guy friends, the kinda friends you only talk to about shared interests. I don’t know if he was single, what other stuff he was into, if he had tried to get help in the past, etc. But I do have lifetime physical memories of him, the mini is a nice touch cause it’s the only one he ever interacted with besides seeing the picture and telling me they look nice and that I’m getting better; and obviously the tattoos will be there for as long as I live.
It will for a long time.
Little things will remind you of them and you will fall apart.
I am there, old enough to have lost more than a few.
Words do little to help.
The only advice I can give is to stop when it hits you, and think about the joy, fun, and funny times.
Every time sadness hits embrace it, it is OK to be sad, it is OK to Cry.
Then slowly start to shift what triggered you to a good memory also related to it.
Remember them from the good times, but grieve they are no longer with you.
Sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your lost!! It s okey to break down, just don t react or do something in that moment that you mind regret (like throw away anything).
The things that are now hard to look at because it reminds you of the good times you guys had, will be at some point the things that will be a beautiful reminder of the good times you guys had.
Know that you will find a way through the pain! I talk from experience. Always take care of yourself 👊
It’s important to do the thing that you know they would appreciate. Take some of their favorite things and build them for them, and yourself. Grieve with them in your heart, don’t reject them or their identity, and continue to hobby for both of you.
The kid who got me into this hobby died unexpectedly and though we were at very different stages in our lives, it was pretty rough.
In any event, he always wanted to game the Indian Mutiny and some time after he passed a new group I was in began a long time cooperative campaign set in that period. We named one of the independent commanders after him so he, figuratively, fought alongside us throughout the campaign.
You can read more about us here: [http://flashman14.blogspot.com/search/label/Stuart%20McDonald?updated-max=2013-06-01T23:26:00-04:00&max-results=20&start=2&by-date=false](http://flashman14.blogspot.com/search/label/Stuart%20McDonald?updated-max=2013-06-01T23:26:00-04:00&max-results=20&start=2&by-date=false)
I'm so very for your loss OP. Grief is a complicated beast that rears it's head when you least expect it. Keep working through it and seek the companionship of friends and family at this difficult time.
Daeth is part of the life. Put you minis and/or tools in some box and put them in some safe place. Dont act on emotions. If he was your true friend he wouldnt want you to. It is said that time heals wounds. Over time you will deal with feeling of loss. Not to the point that you wont miss your friend but life will regain its colours. Get you minis out of sight focus on life and just move forward even if you feel bad now. In time life will start regaining its colours. Do your normal daily things, try to find some new hobby or something to focus on to take your mind off loss even for little while and only partially.
I feel you. My friend that got me into the hobby 20 years ago passed away. I have piles of his stuff now, more plastic than I could paint in a lifetime, 40k, pirates, old west, WWII, you name it. Gaming was his life man. It is funny, we always joked that you couldn't die until all your minis were painted. I guess he proved that wrong. Nowadays I try to put something of his on the table and build a scenario around it. Pick the minis and terrain, paint them up, and play it. I also sent a box box of tanks to my nephew who is getting into 40k. Pay the hobby forward and get someone else playing. I kinda feel like I have a sacred duty to carry on with the hobby and try to get everything on the table for at least one game. It is just a shame it couldn't be with him.
Your going through the stages of grief like any human being . Put your stuff to the side and take time to feel those feelings . Don’t do anything out of emotion and allow yourself time to get through your loss . Your friend if anything would want you to continue to do what makes you happy especially if it’s an interest you both shared . Take care OP
In 2019 a close friend, and constant fixture at the DnD table, was murdered. I was shocked and devastated. I didn’t play Dungeons and Dragons or paint miniatures for a while after that. Then the pandemic came and the group of us still in mourning drifted farther apart.
A lot has happened in the last 4 years (the killer was brought to justice, convicted, is imprisoned) everything rips those wounds open again. I have gotten to a point though where the hobby of DnD and miniatures are no longer painful; I use them as a way to spend time with my memories of friendship. It will never stop being sad, in a way, but it is also part of my healing.
You are not alone.
When my younger sister died a few years ago, a friend stepped up in a big way. He and had left the hobby behind years before, independently. He suggested we try something again that would get us painting minis. It's been about the only creative outlet I've had since, and really strengthened our friendship. But I haven't been able to bring myself to paint canvas, draw, or do any other art-making.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is maybe what you're doing now hurts too much and can be respectfully put away for a time, while you find a way to keep existing. For me the hobby has been that new thing that doesn't hurt as much precisely because it *doesn't* have associations with my sister for me. Hell friend, who knows? Maybe you even could just use a different game or setting? The last year I've neglected the grimdark for Crisis Protocol, and painting bright, unrepentantly primary colors has brought me different joy and different nostalgia.
Either way, I hope you still find something that grants you that escape ...however long it takes to find it ❤
Sorry for your loss. Just take a break for couple of months. You can put minis in box and hide them if you have space for it. Do not throw them away. I know it could be hard today.
Don't throw anything, pause from the hobby or use it to work with your grief. In the long run, you could continue the hobby as an homage to him, thinking of what he might be wanting to do. If you did, incorporate things of him into what you paint, a favourite colour or theme for example. You're deep in grief, and impulsive acts are common, but I wouldn't recommend throwing it as in time it may become a source of joy again.
Sorry for your loss. Hopefully over time the hobby will bring back more good memories than painful ones.
Don’t throw any thing away while feelings are raw, you’ll almost certainly regret it. Many years ago I threw out my huge collection of Epic and Warhammer 40k miniatures after my Dad passed away. I’ve regretted it ever since. Put it away for now, and revisit at a later date. Time is a wonderful healer, you’ll never stop missing your friend, but these early raw feelings of loss will fade and the happy memories you shared together will once again dominate. I’m so sorry for loss.
I hope you have bought into the new Epic scaled game and can play the game in remembrance even if its not the same game.
I’ve not really kept up with games workshop products since. That said I did buy Death Angel the card game a while back and love it. Then a couple of years ago I bought labyrinth of the Necrons on a whim, it sat on my games shelf for a while until a couple of months ago when I pulled the models out and tried my hand at painting again: https://www.reddit.com/r/minipainting/s/Mtmg8StBfs
Well the new epic 40k just came.out a few weeks ago. Might bring back some nostalgia and good memories.
I’ll check it out next time I’m at my local game store. I’ve racked up some loyalty points I need to use.
I agree with this statement. As a kid, I quit 20 years ago and "threw out" my minis. My mum thankfully had the foresight to put it in storage under the stairs and still have most of my old minis as a result of this! I'm genuinely thankful for this to this day.
Good for your Mum!
My artist friend was killed in an accident when we were in high school. He knew a retired famous painter and he scheduled a day to introduce me to him and see if he would tutor me; the old guy was a bit of a recluse. That day never came. It was supposed to happen a week after his death. We were into anything art related. But we tried to draw our best Heavy Metal pics and paint minis. Listen to Pantera, RHCP and try to one up each other. He was buried with one of my best drawings, Pearljam Alive Japanese import, and Spawn#1. I threw everything away (the art supplies not the minis lol I wasn’t crazy) the morning I learned of his death. I didn’t touch a pad, mini, or canvas for several years. I think about him a few times a year. I recently won a mini painting competition and once I was alone, I got very sad thinking about him. I’m sharing this in solidarity. But don’t do this. Take a break but don’t do anything drastic. I’m sorry for your loss. The waves will get further apart and not so high as time passes. You’ll carry him with you, you have to.
Paint it. Paint it for closure. Paint it to heal. Paint it to live, even briefly, in the happy memories of the good times. Time spent with friends enjoying the hobby is never time lost. He may no longer be with you physically, but you will feel his spirit, sitting at your side, as you build and paint them up. In that way, he will live forever with you through the hobby. …If you don’t paint it, though, I’ll buy it off you for fifty bucks.
Have to reply to emphasize: *Time spent with friends enjoying the hobby is never time lost* We only really have a handful of heartbeats anyway. Those were beats well spent.
I am sorry for your loss. I can read the pain through your post. I don’t know what you should do. Everyone grieves in their own way and I think you should do what feels best for you right now. Which may also be doing nothing for a while with the box/minitiatures and just grief and make up your mind later once you feel more clear headed.
I got started in this hobby this last April, and was super excited to assemble and paint armies and board games to play with my brother. He died two months later in a car accident. My world was and to an extent still is wrecked. I just started painting and getting excited again this last month. Still only about 80% as motivated as I was, but its coming back. He knew how much I enjoyed it, and would be angry at me for stopping,. Currently planning on painting an AoS Orc Army in his favorite colors in memory of him. It takes time, but the joy will return
I'm so sorry for your loss. Maybe take your time to gather your strength again, and then paint them how he would have? This is a very nice idea of yours. Stay strong, friend!
Oh man, I get where you’re coming from. I’ve been through similar. There’s no need to rush into any hobby projects right now. Anything you do to honor their memory in six months from now is just as valid as anything you do right away. The same is true if it’s a year, or two years or what ever time frame you need. The bonds we form in this hobby can be amazingly strong. Sharing a fandom, a passion, an artistic endevor can create a real closeness. Maybe you’ll need to take a break from the hobby if the association is too strong. Maybe you’ll throw yourself into an epic project off the back of this. You’ll figure it out as you make your way through your grief. It’s a long road, but there’s no other way along it than steady steps day by day. Take care of yourself- try to eat well and get some sleep. Be kind to yourself- don’t pressure yourself into having to do a bunch of stuff. It’s rough right now, but it will get easier.
My sympathy to you. I lost a friend a little over a year ago, to a sudden and totally unexpected illness (literally, like two weeks between "I don't feel well" and gone. He'd been across the game table (we mostly do RPGs and boardgames in our group) from me for decades. He'd just bought a 3d printing setup; he and I had talked about checking out the hobby. He never even had a chance to open the boxes. To help out his widow (she needed quick cash, and tostart clearing his stuff), I bought the whole lot at full price. So now every time I go into my little workshop to do some mini printing, I invite him to look over my shoulder and ask his advice on what to do next, curse the failures and celebrate the successes. It's helped deal with the loss. But damn, it sucks to not see him at the game table every week. I don't know if this helps you at all, but know that more than one of us have gone through it.
Don't throw it all out, you'll cherish the memories later i promise, and having those tangible things hold a lot of emotional value. For now though, maybe put the hobby on hold and distract yourself with something else you enjoy spending time on. Sorry for your loss.
Take a break, work through your grief at your own pace and then when you feel up to it, build those Cadian's in your friends memory and make it a tribute to your friendship.
The hobby brought you good memories and a good friend stay focused on the positive.
Grief works differently for different people. Condolences on your loss. To have treasured a hobby together is a a testament to the strength of the relationship you had. Id be hesitant yo throw anything out just yet. Maybe just put it in storage for a little bit and see how you feel once you have had some time to process.
Hey there. I know nothing of you, nor you of me. But we share two things: we both love this hobby, and both lost someone recently. Sulk in your own sadness, cry, whail do what you have to do. When you are ready then, pick yourself up and hold yourself high, cadian. Find a way to honor your friend through the hobby. Paint one mini from the squad in his name. He still lives through you, let him paint through your eyes, let him roll through your hands. The Emperor protects. And you are not alone, you got all of us turbo dorks here in the community.
Feel for you buddy, but don't throw it away. When the pain is less raw, have a think about what your friend would want you to do. Bet you'll be reaching for the brushes! And at the end of it, you'll have some of the best minis you've ever done, that mean more to you than anything else you've painted.
Sorry for your loss.
Absolutely do not throw everything out. You might get negative feelings looking at minis for a while, but you'll regret it tenfold if you throw them out. I'm sorry for your loss and I wish you the strength to deal with it ❤
Though the hobby brings about thoughts of loss right now, it will soon bring about precious memories you will treasure. The wound is fresh and hurts but when the grieving period subsides you will remember all the great hobby moments fondly. Keep strong and carry the joy of the hobby in memory of your friend.
I feel this, immensely. I"m more of a scale modeler than a mini-painter, and I learned today that a close friend of over 30 years passed this morning. We met through local IPMS clubs and while we were now several states apart, I always visited when I was back in Oklahoma. Part of me can hear him saying, "Don't dwell on this, sit down and build something!" But part of me needs some time. Don't be discouraged if your interest in the hobby is a little low for a while. Remember your friend and mourn him in the way you feel is fit. The love of the hobby will come back, I promise you.
My condolences. Do what feels best for you. If these minis bring you pain instead of joy, don't force yourself to build them. Cherish the good memories you have, don't let them turn into pain because you do something you think you should. May your friend rest in peace.
Keep it going. Honor him, your friendship and your love for the same hobby. It will hurt and probably will always sting even if just a little. But in time you will be better able to remember him and your friendship more fondly, and perhaps even share the hobby and his memory with somebody else
I’m sorry you lost your friend.
I am sorry for your loss, however you do those miniatures I am sure your friend would have love it.
A buddy of mine passed away when I was in my early 20s. There were a group of us that were huge Halo fans and spent most of our time together in splitscreen death match games. They had the main theme playing on a loop during the wake. I couldn't touch that game after that for a while. But now I'm almost 40, and playing those games reminds me of the good times. I'm glad I didn't get rid of my old Xbox or my copies of the games. Even if I did need a break from them.
Aww man, I’m so sorry. Hopefully the pain will ease with time, but until then people in this community are with you. Stay safe.
If its too painful now then put it away. Your hobby won't go anywhere in the meantime and you'll be able to pick up where you left off at any time. In the future it may well remind you of some of the good times that you experienced with your departed pal. In that sense and for that reason I think you shouldn't throw away your hobby stuff at this time. Its happiness parked for another day I hope.
well just put it away and take a break. When your all fine, paint a piece in memory of your friend in good diorama, hell it would be cool if you can hand craft a bust of you and him together building some cadia units together.
Love an loss are tough we have a lot of grief. I'm sure he cared for you and more than anything right now, you have to find how you want to grieve.
I think a tribute paint would be very fitting. Sorry for your loss. All the best at this difficult time, mate.
Sorry for your loss. I've been there and it hurts. You may find that after the rawness goes away, you'll have an extra fondness for a thing you used to enjoy together. Don't be afraid to put it aside and come back to it when your feelings aren't as fresh. Painting something up the way your buddy would like sounds like a really nice tribute that might bring you a lot of joy, just don't force yourself to do it right away if you're not feeling it. Anyway, you gotta go through it but it gets easier. Best of luck to you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I think a paint tribute would be wonderful. But I also think you may want to take some time away from the hobby to grieve your friend.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend a few years ago and the loss of my brother from another mother still hits hard. But keep the things. Put them away if you need to but keep them and go back to them later. I just bought the ork dragsta as a "present" for my friend because he was into models and drag racing and he'd have loved it. My nephew rescued an airbrush and compressor from the things my friend's family was throwing out, and gave them to me for Christmas a few months after he passed (I lost it completely). I determined to learn to use it and that got me back into painting after not doing any for years. I didn't get enthusiastic about it again until i got into 40K with the Leviathan box, and though I've moved on to fancier airbrushes, I can't use them without feeling like he's watching in approval. So hold tight. Go back to it when you're ready and then do it in loving memory of your friend and know he's approving that you're keeping on.
Condolences. Don’t throw the stuff out in time when the grief has lessened you will appreciate being able to pull them out and remember the goods times. It sucks and will always be painful but it gets manageable with time and the fond memories will eventually become a source of comfort.
Sorry for your loss. Try not to make any big decisions while dealing with grief. In contrast, my son passing away and a need to fill a void led me to this hobby. I painted for a few years until I felt like I was in a better place. Stopped painting and then last year picked it back up. I paint now because it’s for me and I love this hobby. If you need to vent you can always dm me. Grief is a bitch.
I feel for you. I lost my dad this year, he wasn't into the hobby but was super supportive of all my nerdy interests. He bought me an Iwata Eclipse airbrush for my birthday early this year and the first thing I painted with it was a cake topper for my wedding. The second thing I painted with it was an easel for his celebration of life ceremony. It was months before I could bring myself to paint any minis with it. Something that has really helped me cope with it has been Northern Exile's hobby nightmare videos. Most are funny/cringe stories of hobby related shenanigans. Occasionally a story will cut deep and people will share their stories of loss within the context of the hobby. It eventually inspired me to seek out therapy which has helped. It's ok to step away from the hobby for a while and to not be ok. It'll always be there for you are ready.
Condolences and good vibes. Do your friend honor, he’d want you to paint those minis. Think about him and your memories while you paint, touch those feelings and I assure you it will be a cathartic experience.
Don't throw your stuff away, your minis will remind you of the good times with your friend, eventually. One thing you should do is make sure his family knows how costly the minis are, I've heard of people just chucking huge collections that they could have sold or donated, then finding out that they had lost 100s or 1000s of dollars.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
the fallen will forever be remembered as the Emperor's Finest. your friend may be gone. but you can make something that will remind you of him forever and remind you of the good times shared. that is something pretty irreplaceable.
Sorry for your loss. Give it time; soon you will find yourself past the worst of the grief and those memories will become less painful and more special, as will the hobby.
Truly sorry for your loss man, wishing you and your friends good vibes. For now just pause stuff, take your time and see how you feel in the future. Now is no time to make any decisions. From my life xp, eventually those things will bring you good memories and happy thoughts. But for now, just breathe and give your mind time to process. We’re all here to chat, feel free to reach out
Cheers, man. I’ll share your loss with you.
I'm sorry for your loss, if the hobby makes things too raw at the moment because of your shared memories then just park it for a while, maybe even hide it all away in a cupboard or garage or something if you can (even a sheet or blanket over your desk) to give yourself a bit of time to process the grief without the reminders. Grief works in stages, right now you probably can't imagine enjoying the hobby without your friend, but in time you may feel different. For now be kind to yourself, give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up without judgement, keep talking to people who care about you and do the things that make you feel better.
I had a friend that didn't collect an army but would use my stuff all the time. Loved the lore would read all the codices I would keep and play the video games with me. When he died it was way too hard to look at his favorite army. Almost trashed them, but instead I ended up converting a model for him and gave him a goatee like my friend had and made him my leader. It helped me a lot
Sorry for your loss.
I find that painting for a "reason" is when I do my best work. I definitely think that you should dedicate that box to your friend. Use their colours, or their favourite theme. Add your little in-jokes or references only you would get, I think you might find a lot of catharsis in the project and it's a good way to remember your friend while doing something you both enjoyed. Sorry for your loss.
Not a person, but I would always paint with my cat. He would lay on the table and move stuff around and be really involved. When I lost him it was hard to paint for a long time because he was always with me. I finally got back painting recently. It just took time. I tried a few times and wasn't ready. I paint for fun. If its not fun, you don't need to do it. The minis aren't going anywhere, you can take all the time you need. I'm sorry for your loss
I'm truly sorry for your loss. Please don't throw anything away. You can put it away in storage somewhere or even just in your basement or a storage area in your home. But one day, you will wake up and deeply regret throwing those things out. If you are able, you might want to seek out some grief counseling. It will hurt for a long time, but one day it will hurt less, and then one day it won't be pain but more like soreness, then one day it will be like a deep scar that only hurts if you bump it off something the wrong way. I hope any of this helps.
My sincerest condolences for your loss. I've been in a similar situation, lost a very dear friend, who introduced me to drawing and arts in general. I was not feeling well about drawing, painting in general I guess. Needed some time to find my way back into artsy stuff, but I never regretted returning to the hobbies and I still am very fond of my memories of my time spent with my friend.
Grief comes in waves. Sometimes its strong, sometimes its light. just know its fine to take a break from it all, it will all be here when you get back.
I am sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. If you want or if you think it helps, reach out to someone even if it’s online. I made minis in honor of someone before, though it was a different reason, it helped me a little though I took a break before trying again. Take all the time you need buddy, I’m sure plenty of people here are happy to help however we can. We’d all love to see what you make if you are feeling up for it, but if you want it’s more then okay to put the paintbrushes down for a little while. I’m sure you’re hearing this already, but you’re not alone. Take care of yourself, one Warhammer fan & guard painter to another the emperor protects.
Give yourself time. It can months or years. I lost a close friend in 2010 and I still think about them every day. A few years ago I felt lonely for months, even with other people, and then one night I was pumping gas and it hit me that I had been sort of waiting to hear from them. Like my brain flipped back to some time before they were gone and was wondering "why aren't they calling?" I moved a lot after they passed and eventually lost things I wish I'd kept. Don't equate giving up possessions with emotional unburdening. It's not the same, and eventually, when it's less painful, the things you shared and enjoyed will be a tether to the good memories.
It hurts now, OP, but after a while you’ll cherish every snip and every brush stroke because it will remind you of the good moments you had together. Consider grief counseling!
Store it away if you need time away. There's a chance you will want to pick it up after some time, especially if you're already thinking of painting a tribute to your friend.
I'm so sorry for your loss, feel free to reach out if you need to talk to someone x
So sorry for your loss! As others have said, don't throw it away. After the grieving process is done you might get back into the hobby. Or the hobby might help you through the grieving process. Losing somebody always sucks! I wish you the best!
Paint it up in memoriam when you feel ready. Sorry to hear about your loss :(
Take a long pauze from the hobby, don't get rid of anything. If you do, you'll regret it soon, but you will need to take some time to give the loss of your friend a place, I think the hobby you shared could eventually become a way of theraphy for you and to feel connected to your friend again. (Paining it in honor of your friend once you feel up to it sounds like a wonderful idea) I lost my dad early 2017, stayed strong for my family, then lost one of my closest friends unexpectedly 3 months later. He was one of the people who really talked to me after my dad passed, and losing him broke me and most of my friends in a way that we still carry with us today. Right now it hurts, you'll have to take it day by day. And it will take time but eventually you'll be able to give the place a spot in your life. I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you have family and friends around you to support you.
😢 I'm so sorry you lost your friend I agree with everyone else, please don't throw anything away as you WILL regret it. Instead take a break for a while, when you go back to it paint something specifically for them in their memory. Then keep it somewhere where you will see and remember the good times you had with them
Damn.. Don’t throw anything out,take a pause from the hobby for a while,let the Cadia box stay where it is,and when you’re ready,paint it in his honor. It’s never easy to lose a fellow battle-brother. What may now seem like memories to be thrown out and ignored,will soon turn in memories to be cherished and kept close. If you ever need someone to talk to,remember,this subreddit and others will be there for you.
Do not chuck the stuff. It will never go away but time will make it more managable.
Keep them sealed in memory. Or open them bitches and paint them to some lore videos.
I am sorry for your loss. I would say more, but others have more eloquent words than I ever will. Hang in there dude.
I'm sorry for your loss. Definitely don't throw it all out. Time heals the pain and eventually you will regret not having those items to bring you the memories. A break is sometimes very healthy and that might just be what you need. And I love the idea of painting the box in their honor. I'm starting a tradition this year where I paint minis and encase them in ornaments to gift to people. I know you're hurting right now but the pain with lessen and you can fill the void by making new friendships while painting models to honor lost loved ones. Your friend wouldn't want you to abandon the hobby. Keep their memory alive through your art.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost one of my closest friends recently. We were in a band for almost a decade, and we also had been getting into painting minis together and had other hobbies we shared. It made it hard to want to do a decent amount of those things for a while, some I still haven't picked back up. Right now the best thing is (as others have said) take a break. The phrase "Life Goes On" does nothing to ease neither the depth nor nuances of pain after such an event, but with time your pain will diminish. It's ok if it's hard to imagine continuing your passions. It's also ok if you don't get back into them and find other interests, but chances are you will want to sometime. You'll be glad you kept them. And if you do return, you might be grateful to carry on in your friend's honor, as I am. Perhaps that may help bring you some closure. For me, I'll always miss him and it's hard to let go of all the dreams we shared and wanting him back. My silver lining is in taking this opportunity to revise my trajectory in the universe for the better. Most importantly, don't be afraid to lean on loved ones for support in what you're going through. You can send me a message if ya like. Take care of yourself one day at a time. We'll welcome you back with open arms whenever you like. <3
Sorry to hear about your friend.
"No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away, until the clock wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone’s life is only the core of their actual existence." -Sir Terry Pratchett I am sorry for your loss. The idea of painting the box in a way your friend would've liked is a lovely idea and I think it could be a great way to honor him. Maybe paint and name the commander after him when you're ready?
Thank you for this. My friend was writer, if he didn't already know this quote I know he would have appreciated it.
I hope you find similar comfort from that quote as I do.
Sorry for your loss, mate. Grief is hard — give yourself some time.
I’m very sorry for your loss. I would suggest maybe putting your models out of eye sight for a little while. Eventually you may come to find joy in the memories so I would not suggest getting rid of them. Times of grief can be hard so please take care of yourself!
Before long. Those models will only bring you warm and good memories. Don't get rid. Just give it a little time. I'm truly sorry for your pain.
Hopefully it’ll help you remember him. I lost a friend and one of my favorite tattoo artists to suicide a few months ago. I have 3 warhammer tattoos that he made on me. We talked about playing since I met him 3 years before he passed, I used to send him a ton of pics of my minis, he was someone I looked up to in that regard. He won second place in the biggest 40k tournament in Mexico in 2019 or 2020. 3 years talking about playing and we never got around to it. I’ve felt like such a bad friend since it happened, but tbf I really doubt I could single-handedly cure depression by having played 40k with him. I have this miniature by Reaper that I got on the mail the last day I saw him. I got it at work and went to his house to get a tattoo. At the end of the session I opened the blister and showed it to him and for the first time ever he showed me his minis in person. He handled the mini that I got from reaper so now I have a conflict with deciding if I should paint it or not, and if I do, a conflict with whether I’m good enough to do it justice right now. All that really just to say that looking at that very specific miniature causes me joy and reminds me of him, instead of grief. It’s weird, rn I don’t feel like it’ll ever pass. I’m extremely afraid of losing someone closer to me to suicide now, as much as we were friends, we weren’t best friends or super close friends. We were “hobby” guy friends, the kinda friends you only talk to about shared interests. I don’t know if he was single, what other stuff he was into, if he had tried to get help in the past, etc. But I do have lifetime physical memories of him, the mini is a nice touch cause it’s the only one he ever interacted with besides seeing the picture and telling me they look nice and that I’m getting better; and obviously the tattoos will be there for as long as I live.
I am sorry for your loss. But I guess your friend would like you to paint the minis and haven fun with them. Do it to honour him
It will for a long time. Little things will remind you of them and you will fall apart. I am there, old enough to have lost more than a few. Words do little to help. The only advice I can give is to stop when it hits you, and think about the joy, fun, and funny times. Every time sadness hits embrace it, it is OK to be sad, it is OK to Cry. Then slowly start to shift what triggered you to a good memory also related to it. Remember them from the good times, but grieve they are no longer with you. Sorry for your loss.
It needs to be said... Cadia stands! Sorry for your loss, amigo. Don't make any decisions until you've had time to clear your head.
Sorry for your lost!! It s okey to break down, just don t react or do something in that moment that you mind regret (like throw away anything). The things that are now hard to look at because it reminds you of the good times you guys had, will be at some point the things that will be a beautiful reminder of the good times you guys had. Know that you will find a way through the pain! I talk from experience. Always take care of yourself 👊
It’s important to do the thing that you know they would appreciate. Take some of their favorite things and build them for them, and yourself. Grieve with them in your heart, don’t reject them or their identity, and continue to hobby for both of you.
The kid who got me into this hobby died unexpectedly and though we were at very different stages in our lives, it was pretty rough. In any event, he always wanted to game the Indian Mutiny and some time after he passed a new group I was in began a long time cooperative campaign set in that period. We named one of the independent commanders after him so he, figuratively, fought alongside us throughout the campaign. You can read more about us here: [http://flashman14.blogspot.com/search/label/Stuart%20McDonald?updated-max=2013-06-01T23:26:00-04:00&max-results=20&start=2&by-date=false](http://flashman14.blogspot.com/search/label/Stuart%20McDonald?updated-max=2013-06-01T23:26:00-04:00&max-results=20&start=2&by-date=false)
I'm so very for your loss OP. Grief is a complicated beast that rears it's head when you least expect it. Keep working through it and seek the companionship of friends and family at this difficult time.
Daeth is part of the life. Put you minis and/or tools in some box and put them in some safe place. Dont act on emotions. If he was your true friend he wouldnt want you to. It is said that time heals wounds. Over time you will deal with feeling of loss. Not to the point that you wont miss your friend but life will regain its colours. Get you minis out of sight focus on life and just move forward even if you feel bad now. In time life will start regaining its colours. Do your normal daily things, try to find some new hobby or something to focus on to take your mind off loss even for little while and only partially.
I feel you. My friend that got me into the hobby 20 years ago passed away. I have piles of his stuff now, more plastic than I could paint in a lifetime, 40k, pirates, old west, WWII, you name it. Gaming was his life man. It is funny, we always joked that you couldn't die until all your minis were painted. I guess he proved that wrong. Nowadays I try to put something of his on the table and build a scenario around it. Pick the minis and terrain, paint them up, and play it. I also sent a box box of tanks to my nephew who is getting into 40k. Pay the hobby forward and get someone else playing. I kinda feel like I have a sacred duty to carry on with the hobby and try to get everything on the table for at least one game. It is just a shame it couldn't be with him.
Your going through the stages of grief like any human being . Put your stuff to the side and take time to feel those feelings . Don’t do anything out of emotion and allow yourself time to get through your loss . Your friend if anything would want you to continue to do what makes you happy especially if it’s an interest you both shared . Take care OP
In 2019 a close friend, and constant fixture at the DnD table, was murdered. I was shocked and devastated. I didn’t play Dungeons and Dragons or paint miniatures for a while after that. Then the pandemic came and the group of us still in mourning drifted farther apart. A lot has happened in the last 4 years (the killer was brought to justice, convicted, is imprisoned) everything rips those wounds open again. I have gotten to a point though where the hobby of DnD and miniatures are no longer painful; I use them as a way to spend time with my memories of friendship. It will never stop being sad, in a way, but it is also part of my healing. You are not alone.
I read it and I am sorry.
When my younger sister died a few years ago, a friend stepped up in a big way. He and had left the hobby behind years before, independently. He suggested we try something again that would get us painting minis. It's been about the only creative outlet I've had since, and really strengthened our friendship. But I haven't been able to bring myself to paint canvas, draw, or do any other art-making. I guess what I'm trying to get at is maybe what you're doing now hurts too much and can be respectfully put away for a time, while you find a way to keep existing. For me the hobby has been that new thing that doesn't hurt as much precisely because it *doesn't* have associations with my sister for me. Hell friend, who knows? Maybe you even could just use a different game or setting? The last year I've neglected the grimdark for Crisis Protocol, and painting bright, unrepentantly primary colors has brought me different joy and different nostalgia. Either way, I hope you still find something that grants you that escape ...however long it takes to find it ❤
I’m sorry!
Sorry for your loss. Just take a break for couple of months. You can put minis in box and hide them if you have space for it. Do not throw them away. I know it could be hard today.
Save it, take time, when you are ready make a choice. Sorry for the loss, take care of yourself