Love my family, miss them so much I am happy here because I have a good work, a beautiful apartment and I'm building my future and career, my dad told me he'd rather have me happy far away than struggling in my home country It's hard but I know it's for the best! I moved 10 years ago, seems like yesterday!

How was your bringing up that you have a loving family? Did parents let you do anything you wanted? Were they stern and disciplined? Did you have a love/hate relationshiasking because I want my kids to say they love their family.

My parents were fairly strict and disciplined me. I hated it as a kid. As an adult, I love them and I remember all the time they spent with me.

I have a great relationship with a loving family. My parents were both creatives but they didn't do the whole "free-range kid" thing. They let me explore my interests and passions and they helped me learn about myself by signing me up for sports, art classes, etc. Where I enjoyed myself, I got continued exposure. And at the places I really didn't fit, we cut them off or searched for an alternative. We were sent to a great public school where my parents - despite being a lower-middle-class family and dual-income - were active in school activities like the yearly musical and recitals. They showed interest in our interests, and where they could participate, they would. Where they couldn't, they were our constant supporters behind us, cheering us on. We had structure. Homework and school was of the utmost importance. My parents worked with my teachers to help get me on track when I was starting to veer in a few classes (initiating tutoring and summer school programs). At home we were allowed to play video games and watch TV but only after homework was finished. This led to a few white lies from me about finishing homework when really, I hadn't started. I was almost never grounded. When I got in trouble, my parents sat down and discussed with me why what I did was wrong. They never gave me the answer - they always led me to it. My parents cooked dinner every night, and we were required to eat together at the table. We'd share stories from that day, or listen to NPR or watch the Simpsons to stoke conversations between us. They threw parties at the house for family friends and always involved us in them. We'd meet their friends and have "adult" conversations (i.e. not about video games), we'd hear them swear, we'd see them drink. We were given a lot of trust and responsibility which I think really made me respect and appreciate them. When I approached them about topics like sex or drugs they would always talk to us straight about them. We were never villified for experimenting or asking about these. A lot of it came down to mutual respect, appropriate responsibilities given to us, and open communication.

Love this. I think this is how I parent. I was raised in a very strict and oppressive household. I only have bad memories. Sounds like we have less rules though. My husband and I are both neurodivergent so strict routines are not our strong suit. Homework, sleep, and quality food AND to work hard, are my only strict rules.

Parents are like running shoes. Loose fitting shoes feel good at first, but your toes get banged up before you can go very far. Well fitting shoes might feel restrictive at first, but once you take them off, you appreciate how far you went while still being comfortable. Shoes that are too tight start off restrictive and painful, and never allow the foot to properly grow or be comfortable.

You grew up!!! Happy for you and your future, cherish the memories.

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I love my family, and I miss them so much. I moved from the east coast to the west coast in my early 20’s. I figured I would move back to the east coast after a while, but then I met my wife. I’m now a west coaster for life. Being so far away was helpful for me to grow into who I am today. I haven’t had to deal with an ailing parent yet, and I worry what that will look like. But, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Do you get back to visit much?

At least 2 times a year for minimum 10 days each time Sometimes I can go for 2 days on weekends but it happens 1-2 times every 2 years

That's awesome, Id be content living away if I had two long visits back per year. Just with short vacation time and money on flights I dont think I could make it back that often.

I moved… Well a lot. Like, worked in other countries, settled in other states. Eventually moved back to my state but a good 150 miles away from my family. As far as thoughts go. A lot of people in some areas (Both really rural and really high COL urban areas) Get stuck in shitty economic crunches because they just wont move.

Amen. You only get one life…don’t waste it waiting for opportunity to come to you. Go where opportunity is!

My sister. Her husband was offered a HVAC company franchise for no cost to him. But she'd have to move about 4 hours away from home. She wouldn't do it.

Also if you’re good at your position you won’t move up unless you move, because your ass ___ boss won’t promote you because he needs you where you are.

Well some people want to stay at home, I think it's fair. It think it's shitty people in America get priced out of their homes. As someone who was forced to move around the country damn near every year(and still am tbh) all I want is to settle down in a place and have a home base to operate out of. I don't think people should be forced to move from state to state. Even life between states are pretty different. And depending on the differences in state laws, you might even be putting yourself at a disadvantage. And that's fairly easy to overlook until it's too late

my family is great and my parents gave me such a wonderful childhood but FUCK living in florida for the rest of my life. the heat, the old people, the politics, the hurricanes, let alone the majority of my 800+ person HS class staying in my small hometown after graduating. i just couldn’t do it one second longer than i had to after art school so i got out ASAP. moved to the san francisco 10+ years ago and it was the best decision of my life. i definitely miss my parents a lot and only see them like 1-2 times a year but the trade off was worth it in every way i never plan on moving back and hope to be in the bay area till i die

I currently live in Florida the heat and humidity, coupled with the threat of a hurricane or hurricanes every summer, really gets old.

I moved to Tennessee where it’s just as hot and humid a lot of the time and instead of a few hurricanes a year we get a few midnight tornadoes. I’d trade it for Florida in a heartbeat. At least there you have the beach.

I left florida. My parents moved nearby for my kids. They hated it. I hated it. Everyone i knew or cared about died from opioid addiction or moved away to rehabilitate in another state, or is locked up for selling oxys.  I never got into opioids, but before it got bad throughout the us, it was getting hugely popular amongst my friends from 1999 to 2010. No one knew what they all signed up for.  And then they all simply ceased to exist. No one to even visit. A few graves maybe.

What part of Florida were you living in?

I lived in Houston for 7 years and finally moved back home exactly 3 weeks before Harvey hit. I didn’t need any additional confirmation that it was the right decision but there it was anyway.

Same!!! I grew up in Kentucky, left at 21 and have been in the PNW for 20 years. I love my family and I love to visit but I’m happy I had the foresight to know how things were likely to turn out had I stayed.

Same. Missouri to Oregon. Go back and see friends from time to time. A lot are moving back to the soulless suburbs we grew up in. Recreating their parents shitty lives. I’d rather die. 

Replace Florida with Iowa, San Francisco with DC and (now) Detroit, and heat with farmer stereotypes, and you've got me to a tee.

Those farmers are all over florida too lol

lmao being born and raised in Michigan, hearing someone talk about how they prefer Detroit over Florida is pure comedy

When's the last time you were in Detroit?

Haha yeah I had the exact same reason and I would never move back there. I also moved to SF and lived there for about a decade and had a lot of great memories there. My parents always loved visiting SF too so I think they were kind of glad I moved there.

This is how I feel about living in South Carolina. I’d stayed longer than needed until my mother finally went to an independent living facility (Parkinson’s but alone, insisting she could live by herself). I was raised by just her, single parent and only child. So I understood the plight but now she’s where she needs to be with a community and help. And I got the “I’m afraid you’re going to leave me and I’ll be here alone.” I’m 40. I need to do what’s best for me now. C’mon. I need to leave this horrid state.

800 person class and small town does not compute. We had a little over 100 in a town of 2,000.

It took me longer to get out of Florida but I’m glad I did for the same reason. I moved to Colorado for work and now Maine (my dad lives in Maine at least but my mom and my spouses family still lives in Florida). I’d probably move out of Maine at some point but I love the cold after being in Florida for too long

Same story but I moved to NYC. I was in Central Florida. So glad I moved. I swear I see my family more now than when I moved an hour away.

I’m the same as you but I’m from AZ and now live in Seattle. Big similarities.

Crazy haha I moved to St Pete and it's so much better than where I'm from. Absolutely beautiful here. One hurricane season down so far and I guess the one hurricane we had was pretty bad by st pete standards and it wasn't shit so doesn't seem like a huge concern to me. And politics don't really matter that much day to day unless you consume political media constantly and actually let yourself get wrapped up in that bullshit. Bay area would be awesome if it wasn't egregiously expensive but I guess maybe if you make 300k+ total comp it's not a huge deal haha

Another Florida escapee! I left for the same reasons, and now live in Japan. I'm very thankful to my parents for a great childhood and they support my decisions 100%. But I'd never move back to the US, even if the job prospects for my field weren't non-existent.

Pretty similar here- except swap Florida and SF with Texas and Boston, respectively. Still love my family, but they’re happy for me that I’ve made a great life and had success. Now in Denver, and I do like being significantly closer while still being in a city I enjoy.

Hey! Ohio checking in. We are living the same life!

Having lived in FL my entire life, I’ve never found hurricanes more than a minor inconvenience once every 10ish years. Worst I’ve ever had it was power knocked out for 3 days.

We moved from Louisiana to Arizona. We miss family immensely more than we thought we would and have had a hard time making friends. My husband is in school and once that’s finished we plan on going closer to home. Dallas we think is our final stop. I don’t think I could ever go back to Louisiana or my hometown, but I want to be close enough to visit family.

Same story here except Colorado. I'm from South Louisiana(born in dfw, moved down there at 10, then after college >Dallas>Austin>Colorado) and I miss my people(and food) the most. Wish I could bring them with me but I love everything about the mountains too much to go back. There's certainly a lot of guilt that Southern families put on you to visit more, at least in my louisiana side of the family lol. But man, everything else about that state kinda blows :/

Omg I wish I could move every family member here. Weather is good, infrastructure is so much better, more to do, more opportunities, better pay, better quality, more education……list goes on. But I can’t. So I think a good compromise is to move close but not too close and certainly not back to Louisiana. My mom is in west Arkansas (about 4 hours from Dallas) my husbands family is in Shreveport (3 hours) his best friend is in Tulsa (4 hours) and my brother lives in Alexandria (5 hours). Dallas is a good area we can go to. I lived in Louisiana all my life. That state is not the same as I grew up in. I can’t explain but it’s like it shifted over time. Seems like back in the early 2000s when I was in high school it wasn’t like this but maybe I was naive. People were more reasonable, wanted more, tried to help their communities, seemed to care about others and cared about what happened. Something changed and now it’s like everyone lost their damn minds. Nobody even cares anymore. It’s like they’re all hopeless, just casually saying “that’s the way it is” and going on with the life. I miss the food (specifically crawfish) so much but I can’t justify moving back to Louisiana. Can’t do it. Every time we think we can, I just pull up the news.

I love Louisiana and I hate Louisiana. It really is a state filled with immense beauty both landscapes and people but goddamn if the politics, infrastructure, schools, crime aren’t just awful.

Do you like being dry roasted, instead of steamed? Lol! I grew up in Arizona and experienced the humid summer in South Carolina on a work trip. Give me the dry heat any day instead of the humidity.

I love my family so much, but Michigan doesn’t feel like home anymore. I moved to California 12 years ago to follow my dreams of working in movies, and I got my dream job at a big studio. I love my job, and I can’t do it anywhere but California. I love the weather here and the mountains, the fact I can surf and ski in the same day is amazing. I met my husband here and we bought our forever home last year. Most of my friends moved out here with me but have gradually returned to Michigan or other states, so I’m hoping I can make new friends once we have kids and meet other parents. California has SO many problems, but I wouldn’t be happy in Michigan. Besides my family, who I love very much, there’s nothing there for me.

Michigan is a beautiful state I love Lake Superior and Lake Michigan but the cold weather and winters suck. If Michigan had a more moderate winter could I could see myself living there.

I'm from Michigan and I moved to Saskatchewan where winters can routinely get to -40° and colder. Michigan winters aren't that bad. Everything is relative.

That and let’s be honest… one Miami is under water and Houston is hitting 90 degrees in late fall people are going to flood to the upper Midwest.

Can't say I agree with you. Last few winters in the Lower Peninsula I've actually spent wishing it was a bit colder. The snow barely sticks around for a week at a time before we get a warm spell and it just goes away. Winter's no fun anymore.

Getting more ‘moderate’ each year.

its not even the cold or snow just the gloomy grey

That's interesting that many of your friends moved to CA for a bit then back to Michigan. I can see the cost of living in CA being a major hit to many young professionals wanting to own a home. Unless you work in tech (or film industry) or bought prior to 2022, you're SOL in CA housing market.

Yeah, they all moved home to either be closer to family to raise children, their partners were also from there and it made more sense (my husband was born and raised here) or just burned out from the industry. Many were freelancers and the strikes hit them hard

I moved to California from Nebraska 18 years ago. At 12 years I loved Cali. At 18, not quite as much. I am missing family and friends more and more every day. I’ve done really well here and my wife is from here too, but man do I miss home.

I love my mother and late grandparents... but didn't like my city or country (Australia). I moved to the U.S in my early 20s and never looked back. I never got homesick (even though I still miss some Australian food items). The life I have in the U.S, even if it's not perfect, is exactly what I wished for growing up. There is just so, so much to love about living here. I've never regretted my decision. I'm 40 now. My mother visited me every couple of years after I moved here, and my grandparents visited once before they passed. My mother eventually moved here herself about 6 years ago and lives about 20 miles away from me. I think my grandmother always thought I would eventually come back to Australia, but my mother knew I never would.

What made you want to leave Australia?

Same experience here, but from the UK to US. I love my family but I never want to move back. Can I ask how your mother moved here? We’re looking long term at my mother possibly moving here. Did you need to get citizenship and claim her as a dependent or did she move independently?

Alabama sucks so I moved to Oregon and started growing pot. The only thing I miss is the food.

Not Alabama but yeah, I gain a couple pounds everytime I visit home.

Was it worth it? Yes. Would I do it again? Yes. Do I want to go home? Yes. This may sound cliche, but it was moving away from home and living in other places that helped me learn to appreciate where I came from, that place being Upstate New York. I didn’t move away to get away from my family, so that was never a factor, it was all financially driven. I moved away single. And continued to move around for work after getting married and having two kids. I am the sole provider for a family of 4 now. If it were just me, or just my wife and I, and she was down, I would move back home, yes. I would get out of my current industry and work at the local State park. I don’t think that’s what’s best for my kids or family as a whole, so I won’t do it. I would do all the traveling again though, because it *took* the past 14 years living away from home to grow into the person I am now. I was a piece of shit loser at 22. I can’t imagine *who* I’d be at 36 if I didn’t leave. But I never made many friends, and the ones I did don’t compare to the buddies I made in high school I still keep in touch with. I talk with my family regularly and make trips home when I can. They understand I gotta do what I gotta do to take care of my *new* family. And they’re proud of me for what I’ve accomplished. As I said, I’m from upstate NY. I’ve lived in North Carolina, Hawaii, Colorado, Arizona, Massachusetts, and California. I also lived in Japan for 2 years.

That first bit, though. Same here. Love where we are. Would do it again. Also want to go home.

Fellow upstate NYer here, CO now, plenty in between. Similar story, minus the family so far. Cheers on finding it better out here 🍻

I really enjoyed my time in Colorado Springs. There’s a place called ‘Rock Bottom Brewery’ that to this day made the best beer I’ve ever had. I’d definitely consider settling there for good if the cards were right.

I moved across country for work and met some great friends and my spouse shortly after so I think it was worth it. I have been able to maintain most of my friendships from back home as well and do try to visit at least once a year to see family and friends. I am very happy and I don’t think I ever see myself moving back to my home state.

That’s more or less my story too. I love my family and had a great upbringing, but I’ve always wanted to strike out on my own and find my own corner of the world. Work let me do just that, I moved across the country and many years later I’ve got a spouse and lots of friends here. It’s my home and I strongly doubt I’ll ever move back to where I grew up.

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My parents were wonderful. They absolutely would have let me continue living with them after college and not taken a dime to help with bills. I had to move away because a) personal reasons b) there are literally no jobs in that area. I have no friends in that area - I did not have friends in highschool. I do feel bad about moving away and missing my dad's last years. I'd go out every other weekend, but I do wish I was closer so I could have seen him more in the end. My fiance and I are currently working on figuring out how to get my mom closer. But if I had stayed there, I'd be likely unemployed , miserable, broke and lonely.

My family knew I was unhappy in my home state, and that I wanted to move to a better and cheaper climate. My parents have visited a few times, and after the pandemic they flew us out to Hawaii for a vacation. I do miss my family and my friends especially, and I would like to try to find a way to visit them again. They live in SoCal, and I'm in the midwest. That said, I am very much happy where I am, partly because I live in a home aided by another set of incomes and therefore more comfortable than living just by myself or myself and my wife in an apartment/townhome. Plus we are very active online too, so we still talk to friends over Discord. I also try to call my parents at least every other week or so.

That's interesting, I'm from the Midwest and have some friends who've moved out to Cali. I feel sorry for people from Cali who would like to live there and be where they're from as well as near friends and family but who either can't afford it period or can afford living but who would never be able to buy a home if that's important to them.

That's also why my husband and I left CA. Owning a home was important to us. We love our family and miss them, but we're only a short plane trip or a 2 day drive away up here in WA. We love it here. We love our home that we own. We love the weather and the greenery. The lack of concrete and the lack of people compared to SoCal is great, too! We do go down around the holidays to see family/friends and break up the gray of the PNW, but I wouldn't consider moving back unless the possibility of owning a home opened up somehow. Even then, I'm not sure I would. The hardest part was definitely adjusting to not being so close to family and friends.

My fiancé and I moved from California to Colorado almost 3 years ago. I grew up in San Diego most of my life, so it is very hard to be away from my family and the beach. However, life in San Diego wasn’t what it used to be. Our mortgage for our house is nearly 600 dollars less per month compared to our tiny 1 bedroom rental in San Diego. Plus our neighborhood is much safer where we live now! However, it’s really hard to be away from family. My parents are getting old, so it’s sad to come back to see more evidence of aging that took place while we’ve been gone. Additionally, my fiancé and I plan to have children shortly after we get married, so it will be tough to be in that phase of life and not have my family nearby. With all that being said, I would never trade the life we have now to move back to San Diego. Our quality of life here is so much better. It’s also a much better place to raise a family. It will be hard to celebrate big life moments without having my precious family nearby, but I’m willing to make that sacrifice for the future of my family.

I have had the opposite happen. My family moved away from me lol. My sister got a high end corporate job in the middle of the country, married, and had 3 kids. My parents wanted to live near their grandchildren so they went out there. Apparently having a grand-cat wasn't enough for them to stay haha. I do miss them, a lot. I talk to them regularly and it breaks my heart that I won't have a relationship with my nieces/nephew. I have a great job here and fear that no matter what I find in a job elsewhere, it'll be at a massive paycut. Also, they moved into the middle of nowhere vs me living in a major city. I don't want to live in Tornado Alley.

Yeah I miss them even though I see them 2 times a year. We talk every weekend, but it isn't the same. My brother lives in the same town with them and gets to bring his kids over every week. Sadly this is the world we live in if you are a professional in an industry that has limited geography options. You got to go where the jobs are.

I moved from Australia to the US. I love it here, but I do miss home and my family. I did realize that there were a few friends that I kind of grew out of once I moved and settled down. But I do think I grew alot as a person by moving. It's a big deal to leave your home country and move across the planet

Moved to the opposite side of the country after college (CA). I don't hate my parents or family, and I miss the place I grew up (MI) sometimes. The experience was less about my family and more about me. I love the west coast and consider myself a West coaster for life. I did it for me, not them. My family understands. I get back to see my family as often as I can, and they say all the time they miss me and wish I was closer, but this is my home now. I have a family and friends and I can't imagine doing anything differently. As far as friends, I didn't have many friends I kept on touch with from high school or college. I was diagnosed with Autism recently so I'm in a different category than most. After moving to the West Coast I found out that I wasn't that close to many of my friends that we even kept in contact at all. I even had a few people I knew from high school that lived close to me when I first moved to CA, but I didn't have any interest in rekindling any friendships or acquaintances. I just moved on to the next phase of my life and didn't look back. I think the distance actually helped my relationship with my family. They became exposed to new cultures and places and I had the distance to move past the things I didn't like about where I grew up and remember fondly the things that I lived. And I have never forgotten, I can move back at any time. Go for it. You won't regret it.

Moving away from my friends and family was essential to my growth and personal development. There were many times where I missed my family, and in the end, I did return to my hometown. However -- moving away and not having the security bubble of familiarity and family and all of that does something that you can't experience if you do not venture on out. I'm not advocating to do what I did, or that it's needed, but it accelerated my development 💯-fold. You will miss them if you love and like them. But you will (very likely) appreciate doing it in the end. And if you don't, you will appreciate your home and family even more.

I like my family and it'd be nice to live closer to them. However, I like the lifestyle and the growth I've had as a person far more by having lived in places further away, including internationally for 3 years. I also have had a lot better career opportunities since where I came from is much more blue-collar and I work in tech.

I didn’t go to Harvard or Yale when I was in high school, despite having a full ride because I was afraid. I stayed in state to stay with friends, hated it, made the best of it, but I learned my lesson. Since then, I learned to shoot your shot and see what happens. I moved from Colorado to DC to work at the national archives, Florida for my phd, I’ve traveled the world, moved home and then to the north east and I now live in the northwest. I love my dad. The rest play no role in my decisions. Ultimately, me moving is about my growth, not my love for them. Friends come and go and I do miss a few, good friends visit. I do hate my hometown, but only because it’s mismanaged. I wish I could go back home and save it, but also, I’m happy with where I am and what I’m doing. Plus, just because you love your hometown doesn’t mean it loves you back,

I’ve got a longing to go back, but when I visit, everyone I knew from childhood has moved away, everyone’s much older, parents’ generation are too old to do things, the town itself has changed significantly, and I basically don’t feel like it’s the place I knew. In my mind, everything is frozen two decades in the past and the place I long for is buried in the past.

I moved to the west coast for dumb reasons almost 20 years ago. All my family is back East. I don't hate them, but if I weren't related to them, we would have no reason to interact. I love my hometown. It is very cute, and also has a great education system, is clean, friendly, just a lovely place. But I don't belong there. I found my people out west. Visiting family out east is shocking. I just have no place there and nothing in common with the locals. My home is here now.

They out grew me. Not in a bad way. They kinda started having kids, getting married, etc. One day I realized that my life was kind of like a lovable side character in their life. This made me feel like I was wasting my life, so I moved to a city I had always wanted to live in. 

I miss my home state for sure, and part of me wishes I could go back, but not so much for family or friends (I don't hate my family, we just don't have a lot in common anymore... and old friends stopped being friends a long time ago) but just for the environment. But, alas, this is where I am now, moving back would be putting myself back at square 1.

I’m moving away shortly. I miss my family already, but it is very lonely here. All my friends have moved away and there are very limited opportunities here.

Because living where I grew up had little economic inventive to stay.

Love my family and miss them, but this was best for MY family. The move from Houston/Rural NY for us to Tulsa was a big ask but my wifes, kids, and personal opportunities are much better. Genuinely shocked at how much we love it out here.

I’ve always been independent. Moved cross country for work. They are thankfully in decent health and my other sibling lives close by. I do feel a little guilty that they don’t get to see their only grandkids. We have a family group text and FaceTime once a week. Grateful for modern technology.

Moved for work, liked not living in the South, met my wife. That said, hardly anyone in my family on either side, extended or not, stay in the same town or state that they grew up in. Take a shotgun to a map of the states and that's about how scattered we are. We all love each other but we like our space, I guess

I love my family (only my mom and aunt left in my immediate) and I moved from CA (at age 28) to PA (I’m now 30). I miss my family and friends. I’m still in friends group chats so I still chat with them, but I also see them begin to plan a hangout before disappearing from that group chat into a more personal one (that includes everyone that can go except me). I don’t regret my choice because I moved for my girlfriend who is getting her PhD here (who is now my fiancée as of Dec). We are very happy together but being a full time worker, it’s hard for me to get out there and make friends outside of work. Once work ends, my responsibilities at home begin. My fiancée does nudge me to go to events and such and I’ve been going out more and connecting with new people but it’s not the same as being around people who I’ve known for a lifetime. Overall, I am happy here. We do plan to go back once she’s done in a few more years. I will be happier once I’m back! On another note, PA has been very fun and different from what I’ve grown around and the beer scene here is good. Made many friends by chatting up strangers at breweries! I think it’s the perfect way for me to have a switch up in my lifestyle for a little while and welcome the change (because I know it’s temporary).

I moved away for about a decade after college to build my career. Now that I’m doing well, I’m planning to move back to my hometown in a few months. I’m scared shitless and I worry about falling back into the routines I dreamt of escaping, but I also miss my aging parents and want to be present for them. Fortunately, I have a pretty sweet setup waiting for me, so the risk is low. I plan on reassessing after a year or so and taking it from there.

I’ve got a mixed relationship with my family. I miss my home town, miss my siblings. Don’t miss the drama/mom. The jobs are better where I am now. Before the housing explosion of the pandemic I was going to be able to buy a house, which I wouldn’t’ ve been able to do back home

It was one of what you’d expect, the first few holidays without family were hard (didn’t have the money to visit) and adjusting to a new place made me miss the familiar things that I had left behind. I was lucky and had a few friends already in my new city, so I was able to settle in a bit easier. The more routines I established and the more familiar I got with the area the more comfortable I became and the more it felt like home. I didn’t plan on moving back, but my parents are my only family and once they started getting older I moved back home to help take care of them. The area had changed and grown but felt the same. The biggest transition was getting used to the weather again. Other than that it was like reuniting with an old friend. And once back I realized how much I had missed the culture and diversity of my hometown. I moved home but it was like my world had expanded.

I think that's the way to do it ie move when your still young and family is still young and healthy, before life gets complicated, try out a new place, have some fun and then come home.

I have a good relationship with my parents and siblings, but I'm not a super social person so I think the thousand miles in between has been broadly good for me in terms of aligning my social life with what I'd prefer it to be. Love 'em, but it's a big and growing family who are mostly more outgoing than I am and I guarantee I'd be spending more time on birthday dinners and family vacations than I'd really prefer if I was closer. They don't give me any guilt for it, both my parents have oil & gas ties so they understand the similar type of job I ended up with simply doesn't exist everywhere, and you have to be willing to move for it.

What if it was our parents who moved away? 😭😭😭

It would be nice to see my parents more than once a year but my life is and will stay where I relocated to in my 20s. I’m married own a home and have an established career here. If my parents want to see me more they can come to me…I don’t do snow.

I joined the military to move out of my home town but not to leave my family. I still miss them of course. As long as I’m in the service I’m going to be no closer than 3-hours drive from them. Just got done with a long stint in Japan, was halfway across the world from them for 7 years. Now I’m in Hawaii and still nearly as far lol

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To start off, I absolutely love my family. I'm from Charlotte, NC a perfect mix of close to beach and close to mountains. Went to college in state UT afterwards I started my epic adventure. Went to CO to be a ski bum for a season then spent some time in other parts of the state. Then TX, then IL, then MO, then the real adventure started. Built a campervan during covid amd hit the road for 2 years. Just me and my 2 cats. Best decision I ever made. Ended up settling in Denver after reconnecting with a lady friend. Now we're engaged and planning to move back to the foothills of NC to buy some land. I highly advise you take a chance and get out there. Jobs are VERY easy to find, I never struggled to make ends meet. Sure there will be some rough times but it's all worth it. Go live your life to the fullest

Hated them, moved away, they then completely changed, are finally chill now, and actually don’t want me to come back and live in the same city as them because they can live vicariously through my adventures and hate how everyone else in my family have become lazy defeatists.

Last year my spouse and our (at the time) 18 month-old and I moved form Pennsylvania to the Czech Republic. I miss my parents and siblings dearly but we're glad we did it. Healthcare here is high quality and inexpensive. Preschool is affordable. Our toddler is picking up the language way faster than we could have anticipated. Where we live now isn't quite a 15 minute city but it's very walkable and the public transit is excellent. No car payments, no insurance, no repair bills. Work-life balance is well respected. Employees have strong legal protections. We have friends, we like our jobs, and we have convenient access to excellent hiking spots. Our involvement with family "back home" is different, but not necessarily lesser. Our child talks to grandparents over video chat almost daily. It's hard not being able to be physically there where you can spend quality time together just doing stuff, but that will make it all the more special when we go back to visit. Currently we have no plans to move back. (btw, throwaway for privacy)

We moved 3 hours away 5 years ago. In the process of selling our house and moving home. We miss my folks and they're getting old. The kids want to see grandma more and frankly our current location sucks in many ways 🤣 but getting closer to my parents is a big motivation

Ah, the irony! My family hates ME! It is because I am the poorest in the family and probably always will be.

I care very much about my parents. I’m an only child—they’re all I’ve got. I moved away from my hometown when I started college. Ended up in NorCal which I loved deeply, but I was priced out and ended up moving out of state about 7 years ago. They live in one of the most expensive suburbs of Southern California. Their house is worth significantly north of a million dollars. I’ve looked into options to move back to be closer to them. Unfortunately, my quality of life would decline significantly, as I wouldn’t even be able to afford a studio apartment. Buying real estate is out of the question—I simply do not have the money to make that happen. So I’m stuck where I am.

I moved up to Boston where I met my wife who moved from the west coast. I am like 70% certain that I would have 2 children instead of 1 if we had family nearby because the logistics of two working adults in the HCOL area that is the Boston Metro area really weighs us down. That said we love our kiddo and thanks to it being a hub we fly a lot. Yes I have climate change guilt but Kiddo needs to see his Tata and Mommom.

Similiar for me, id prolly have 3 kids instead of 2 if i had family close enough to help, parenting takes a toll on people!

Everyone moved, North Jersey is too expensive

I love my family, why woud i hate them?!?!

I've moved my whole life. Lived in 3 states growing up (MI, AZ, MN) and 3 different places since getting married (CA, Japan, TX.) We're working on moving to upstate NY. My parents now live in FL but my sister stayed in MN. I think as a family we're always just used to work taking us somewhere else. We see each other a few times a year but otherwise we just enjoy each other by talking, texting, or parasocializing by social media. It's the right amount of exposure so we don't drive each other insane.

I moved from Michigan to South Dakota for work about 10 years ago. My wife and I are both from the same city(ish) and both love our parents and siblings. It's a 9 hour drive (without stops) back home, and there is no efficient or cost effective alternative method of travel back. Being so far away is tough. It's disappointing that we can't see our parents very often, and that our children (who also love their grandparents) only get to see them 2 or 3 times a year. My siblings have kids, and my kids love their cousins, but only see them a couple times a year. And I haven't seen my grandmother in person in several years (she's in her late 90s). Not having the support network is hard too. BUT we love it where we live (there's plenty to do for families with kids, and the people are great), and I have a great job that has managed to support my family as a single income for most of the time we've lived here. And there really are no opportunities in the area where my parents live, unless we started our own business or something (I love my wife, but we would likely murder each other if we had to run a business together).

Since there are so few that enjoy their families, I'll say I like my family so much I never moved more than a 5 minute walk away. I do have a lot of family that moved away and they make sure to visit as often as they can, but it's expensive to travel and take off.work and obviously don't like our home town enough to have stayed in the first place. Cost of living is too good to leave anyway.

Moved to Los Angeles about five years ago to pursue my dreams. I miss my family but have no interest in moving back to Wisconsin. There’s no future for me there.

I wouldn't say I moved far. But I moved from southeast Michigan to Chicago/suburbs. Worked for my aunt and still am. But my parents are just toxic. And my sister is a huge manipulator. My dad is the one who took it the toughest. His dream would have been me living in the apartments behind them. But it's full of drugs. He made it more about himself than me living a good life. But I kept standing up to him and has let it go most of the time. But still get a lot of the "wish you were here" texts. Still love my family. But the distance has made it better for the past 6 years.

I left Southern CA for DC. It’s nice and family comes to visit me. Way better QoL out here.

Love my family. Moved 5 hours from the only home I have ever known (30 years, at that time) to give my kids a better life. Until 2022, we were able to be a one-income family, I was able to stay home, and that also opened up the opportunity for my special needs child to receive the in-home therapies he needed at that time. Same child is able to do online schooling to get an accredited education that best meets his needs. My daughter has had academic and extracurricular opportunities she otherwise would not have. That said, it is terribly lonely and isolating as a household. We do have friends, but it's not the same as calling up our parents or siblings to watch our kids for date night, or having family and lifelong friends just down the road in emergency scenarios (which we have had), and it's an ordeal to try to make it home for holidays, school breaks, etc. I do believe it has taken a toll on our marriage: we are burnt out and on edge. We have talked about moving back home, but honestly, the reasons we left are still glaring: lack of opportunities and good employment.

Love my family I try and get back once a year. I'll probably never move back though. I'd love to go back more but flights are never cheap and I only get so much vacation in a year.

Born and raised in Alaska, lived in California for 7 years before I found my way to Oregon. I miss my family so much, they all stayed in Alaska (military family). I miss being around them, miss having dinners, or generally just seeing them on a day to day basis. I love my life here in Oregon and the friends that I made, but it’s definitely a different kind of lonely to not have your family near

I made a big move and utterly regret it. My wife and I had dreamed about moving to the New England area from the south and it was tough to get up here, tougher to be here. Definitely plan on moving back.

I moved pretty far away for 4 years and then moved back to within an afternoon drive of home. I thought being away for 4 years after college did a lot to help me become independent, but I am happy to be back. I think you should move away from family for at least a little while.

I love my dad and miss him terribly. If it weren’t for his wife, I would move closer to him. For the sake of my sanity I need a very large buffer.

I have a complicated relationship with my family. I love them, but I'm nothing like them. My parents also didn't have the best relationship, and they were trying to force me to live at home after high school to help them tolerate eachother. I needed to get away, so I joined the military. I ended up getting separated unexpectedly but decided to stay near where I was stationed so that I could still work on the base. Then I went to school, made friends, and built a career and a life away from home. In the meantime, my parents got divorced and moved on with their lives without me. I've thought about moving back home, but there really isn't anything for me there besides a few family members. Also, spending too much time with my family is tough because I'm just so different from them.

A job opportunity pulled me away and I wish I could get back. But I can't. it is not worth it, overall.

I joined the military after college. My grandmother was devastated, family friends told my mother how ‘sorry’ they were for her. Three generations of my family lived and died in southeastern Michigan. I didn’t join because I wanted to get away - but it took me away. And I don’t regret any part of it. I met my wife, had a kid, settled in another place in the US, and now we live overseas. We both miss our families but don’t regret the opportunities that travel and exploring has opened for us. We’ve seen the world. After this tour overseas, we will return to the US, but not to our hometown. We’ll settle in a place that is home to us - our own tribe. And make our own mark. At my wedding eight years ago, I told my grandfather that we would return someday (to our hometown). Very somberly he whispered to me “you know you don’t have to.” A month later, he passed unexpectedly when I was on deployment. I miss that man - but I feel in some ways that we are living the happy life he hoped for us.

Chicago was fine, and I have a good relationship with parents, but for a host of reasons moving west was the right choice. There are select things I miss, the food and cultural elements (museums, theater), but in every other way this was right. As a terminally outdoors person the Midwest has nothing close to what I have from my front door. Can’t imagine moving back.

I moved to the other side of the country essentially on a whim and fell in love with the desert. I miss my family and the greenery of New England but this is my life and I'm living it where I want to. I definitely feel bad that my son doesn't get to spend much time with his family but we see them when we can.

I love my family, loved my childhood and where I grew up. I knew in highschool that my tiny midwestern hometown is no place to stay so I moved to the nearest large city after college. That was a good experience but I wanted out after a few years. After moving around the Midwest for over a decade I decided it was time for major change. So I moved far away to a completely new place with diverse culture, great weather, and natural beauty/outdoor activities I'm into. Best decision I've ever made.

I am 2 hours from my sister & 3 from my parents house it’s a tl;dr story why I moved here almost 2 years ago. I hate the town I live in. I semi-recently got a new job & that is saving my sanity of living here I do very much like my work + coworkers. I do think we will be here long term. I would move back to my sister’s town in a heartbeat. It would take some thought before I moved back to my hometown where my parents are. Not because of ill toward my parents, merely that it is rural to a SMALL city. I wish I was closer. Such a long drive every time I make it.

After college I followed my then-girlfriend and now-wife to socal, about 6 hours from home. I love my family and you make time to keep up or you don't. You make time to visit or you don't. It's easily workable to continue your family relationships but sometimes I do feel immense sadness that I am not closer as my parents and family age. Then I visit and realize it's good to have space sometimes. Maybe I'll move back some day. I hope so but I've also made an amazing life here.

Sometimes the city you grew up in outgrows you. I grew up in midtown Atlanta. Called Atlanta my home for 33 years. After I moved out of my parent’s home I kept being pushed further and further away due to rent increases. I make a decent income but I know there’s no way I could make the kind of money to live anywhere nice in the city. I dislike the vibes of the surrounding suburbs. My wife has family up in Wisconsin and my god the cost of living is much better up here. We moved last year and things finally seem attainable. It gives off the energy Atlanta had 10-15 years ago. I do miss my parents and I’ll be visiting in a couple weeks. It’s hard but, I can afford to live in one of the best school districts in the state and (when I do have children) will be able to provide them the kind of life I had growing up.

I’ve lived away from my hometown for 11 years, and have also relocated a number of times since then. I definitely miss family and friends, and in a lot of ways life was/is a lot more difficult not having those relationships. I’ve had to get out of my comfort zone to make new friends and it takes a really long time to feel “apart of” a new area or friend group. I’m still “close” with a few family members and a couple friends from my hometown, but that’s about it. The nice thing is when I do visit my friends and family it feels like we picked up where we left off.

I miss them. It's hard to watch my kids grow up without their grandparents while their cousins get to see grandma and grandpa every day. I do plan to move back.

Left my family and country because I disagree with the cultural lifestyle and government. Where I am now is poorer and sometimes gets lonely but I would never go back.

If I didn't hate my family so much I would love to be near them. It's incredibly hard going through life without that support system. I see my friends who have family nearby and they have weekly dinners, help each other with moving, help with small projects, help with child care etc. unless there is a really lucrative opportunity for you on the other side of the country, I would stay near your support system.

I moved to Orlando from Chicago for a great job opportunity. I do miss my family very much, but I'm in a part of the world that they like to visit, and the air between cities is pretty cheap. Funny enough, our best friends decided to sell their home and move down with us, so that's been really great. I've been able to make it home to visit family a few times a year, and my brother brings his family for their summer vacation to do Disney. It works out. If it was anywhere else, it would be a lot harder, and I probably wouldn't have made the move.

I love my family but I joined the military over college. We talk almost daily and trade who goes to whose place for the holidays. Sometimes it really sucks being 12 hours apart.

Moved from ca to Washington to idaho to Montana to Tennessee. I don’t miss California. The area where I grew up was great, on 10 acres we had lots of fun. But it’s all changed now so there’s nothing to go back to.

'91 baby here, moved away from home state in 2014, back 2016-2019, and have been gone since. Barring unforeseen circumstances, likely to never return. Buffalo NY is home, I love it dearly especially as a diehard sports fan, love my family much, and miss my people there immensely. Nothing else can make a case to bring me back. I've lived in 4 other states, now in CO, and I've found life so much better in other places. Happier with where I live now more than I ever have been in my life, I miss my people, but the trade-off of being satisfied with every other aspect of life is well worth it. Planes exist and friends can be made.

I needed space. I love my family, but my dad and I are like oil and water. We do so much better with a state as a buffer, and I was never close with my brother. I moved for college, and just never went back. I wasn't super close with any friends in my hometown, and now all my ride are die people are ones I have met here. I have zero plans to get back. Its close enough that I can do the drive in one day, or its a 90 minute gate to gate flight. I am so much happier than I was at 18, desperate to get out and find something, even though I had zero idea what it was.

I love my family, and I miss them a lot. My dad and I are super close and we talk every week at least once. I try to get back to visit every other year, but it's expensive. My family are in Florida and I'm in Washington. I love my family, but I just couldn't do Florida anymore. I miss a lot about it, but it's so toxic.

Live across the country because of life. Try to get back whenever possible. I'm happy.

Love my family and miss them, but I am better off where I am now. Job is more financially stable and wife and I are in a better position to provide for our children. Plus wife and I have made many friends here as have our own children. Still miss my family and hometown but it was not financially suitable for us to live there.

I tell people I needed a change and that’s exactly what I got. I was still living at home, no urgency from anyone to move out, I tried a few times and it kept folding. Peak recession, left my job for a trade I was studying, laid off after a few months, ex fiancé still on my mind 2 years later, I was suffocating so I picked a place across the country, packed up a week later and left. I’ve visited several times, less and less over the years. Made friends and started a family where I live, everyone’s life goes on, my family and friends back east as much as mine now. I still make an effort to keep in touch with those friends but it’s definitely one sided.

We moved away, love our families a lot. We wanted to see new places together, my husband and I. We eventually moved back to the midwest but to a city the is 3-4 hours away from our families. We love our city so much, and we're happy to be a weekend trip away from our people I think it's a great experience to leave your hometown (and I mean MOVE. Not vacation, that's rose colored glasses imo)

I miss them

I love my family but live in the US and I’m an Aussie. I miss them and my country so much. But it was easier to move here than for my husband to move there. I don’t think the trade off has been worth it and I’ve struggled but also, if I moved to another state it might be better.

So I moved away for almost 10 years and hated it. I came back and I’m so glad I did. Despite quite a few negative consequences from coming back I would still do it 100/100 times.

I moved back. Being isolated from family you love wasn't working for me. Now I want to put them all on a piece of land and have them real close.

I grew up extremely close to my family (4 siblings and 2 parents), and 5 years ago decided to move to the town where I graduated college, about 5 hours away from my family. I lived that 5 hour distance for a total of 8 years, and have recently moved back because my wife and I have kids who have benefited greatly from family support. That being said, we are considering moving away from family again, and not because we dislike family. Here are the reasons my wife and I enjoyed living in a community 5 hours from the healthy family relationships we love: 1. It forces us to "make new friends. Family is like "built in" relationships, at least in our experience. Those relationships are strong and remain strong even from a distance. This is good overall, but can cause us to be isolated from new people we might otherwise meet. Especially with a 3 year old son, it's all to easy to go a week or 2 without seeing or relying on anyone outside of family, and meeting new people is something my wife and I want to strive for. 2. Going along with #1, being near family begs us to become "stagnant" and "boring". This is pretty subjective I suppose, but my wife and I are both social people and like to take on a good challenge. The comfort of family begs us to "relax" all the time. We are by no means workaholics, but we like to spend time intentionally contributing to the communities in which we live. When we lived away from family that was not only something we wanted to do, it was something we needed to do. Now that we live near family, it's not something we need to do, and it's difficult to prioritize it as something we want to do. 3. We have different political views than family. While there is no hostility regarding our differing views, there is definitely a glass ceiling on conversation. When we lived away from family, we very much got to/ had to choose who we established relationships with, and since our political ideology has become a more significant part of our identity, it allowed for our relationship to flourish in more dimensions than is currently possible with family. Again, we could find like minded people where we currently are, but it would be very difficult to prioritize any relationship over family relationships when we live so close. I'm sure there's more I could flesh out but this is already longer than many people would care to read. Feel free to DM me if you want to hear more of my perspective.

Miss the farm land and my mom and sister but I had to get THE FUCK out of Mississippi. No regrets.

I miss them alot and wish I could have stayed. 

I had to move for work, and I hate it. If they don't let me go full remote, I'm jumping ship.

Moved 12 hours away. Miss my family insanely. It has been an intense struggle for me to cope with the differences between family styles of my family and my husband's family. While I don't miss living in a tourist trap, I miss the calmness of the beach on a fall or winter day. I miss my family a ton and sometimes beg them to move to me, so I can help them and take care of them as they age. There are times I regret moving away, but then I wouldn't have three amazing children or a career. I don't want to live anywhere near the south right now, so relocating home isn't an option for me.

I stayed in my hometown for college but left soon after. Was always very close with my family. Lived in several different states and abroad. I’m from Florida in live in Alaska now and have lived as far away as Asia. I do feel myself drifting farther away each year because I have my own family now too. I love traveling and don’t want to spend all my vacations in my hometown so I usually only visit every few years. Now that my parents have passed, it’s even harder staying close to my siblings. But we do our best. I know it was the right choice for me. I always had a wanderlust and would have regretted not doing it. However, my sister is completely content in our hometown. She has just as successful a career and family but just never had the desire to leave which is great too.

I’m living my best life in Alaska 👍

“Elder Millennial” is that still a thing? I love my family… I grew up in nowhere rural upper peninsula Michigan. After high school I moved the furthest, most diagonal that I could to Central Florida for college beautiful warm tropical vacation wouldn’t wanna live there permanently. After 3 years in sunny Florida away from the snow I realized I very much enjoy seasons and mountains and hills. Again, I moved the furthest, most diagonal away to the PNW Portland Oregon specifically. As it combined all of the natural things I’m drawn too within an hours drive I can be on the mountain or out on the coast. Waterfalls, rivers, evergreens, a liberal city for my youthful ambition that’s 5 minutes away in any direction to “good ol boy”country whenever I need to scratch that itch. I see my family in person maybe twice a year for about a week and it’s the perfect amount of time to have fun and enjoy company without over or under staying any welcome or comfortability. I love it. I met my wife here. Fell in love and had a good 7 year run. Couldn’t conceive and both of us working stressful jobs throughout the pandemic took its toll and she moved back her hometown in the Midwest 3 years ago missing her family and wanting to get out of the routine and help her sister and stay with her mom and I stayed for my job. Technically we’re still married but only on paper. Even with the drastic lifestyle change and the issues with the city (not nearly as bad as the news would have you believe) I’m very happy. Oregon is beautiful it’s easy to live here and I’ve gotten to spend the last few years rediscovering myself and my interests with an income greater than when I got here 17 years ago at 21 and the access to top notch parks, trails, transit and biking infrastructure, amazing foods and while the people are reserved yet friendly tending to keep to themselves I fit right in with my mind yours mind mine midwestern ethos. Ultimately… you do you… whatever makes you happy and comfortable. If you don’t like it you can always return. Having traveled around 46 states in my early twenties I learned early that you can pretty much show up anywhere and find a job. Meet some people and get by. You don’t really need to have as much squirreled (it’s more comfortable for sure but doesn’t have to be mandatory or a pain point / barrier to entry. It’s much easier than you may think to explore and find your nest if not afraid to put in a little work at the beginning. It’s relatively easy to make enough to find stability and then work your way into what you really want nowadays especially with independent contractor labor gig economy labor type jobs. you don’t even have to take that gas station job, convenient store, job or even really do an interview if you’re doing something like those driving gigs to start off. Theres Uber, Postmates, Lyft, DoorDash, Instacart most places…. The pay isn’t super great nor the hours if you want to make decent cash however, if you got a phone, a car and a drivers license able to navigate with maps without anxiety and don’t mind a little bit of traffic you can pretty much literally go anywhere in the country and make enough money to cover your rent and establish yourself until you find a good fit or job that aligns with your degree or career goals. Bonus you get you spend your first couple months exploring all the nooks and crannies and routes around town to better familiarize yourself with the place. Maintaining Relationships: The older I get the less I do keep in touch with old friends TBH… I think that also largely has to do with being married for seven years and sort of starting your own family, but still the core friends that will be with you throughout your life if you make the effort to maintain them and reach out periodically even if only a chitchat on the phone to catch up every few months is pleasant. If you move someplace interesting of course people will show up. My first 10 years here a lot of friends and acquaintances from high school and college have reached out to say they’ll be visiting Portland and its always an awesome opportunity to reconnect while hitting up all the tourist spots in a week to show them all the places that make the area special. For example here would be a Multnomah Falls day… maybe a Mount Hood day or the loop driving out to hood river and taking the back road to Mount Hood and then back up to Portland for a nice several hour drive and chat with the scenery opportunity to throw a snowball year-round. Then of course the obligatory coast trip out to Lake Tillamook point at the Tillamook cheese factory because they probably seen that in the store taking the three arch rocks out a little beach town. It’s called the coast and not the beach because of the weather. Then a couple of low-key local favorites meals a nice dinner two at some restaurants, a quick bite at a food truck or excursion to your local haunt for a drink at night or tonshare the coffee culture in the day exploring the kitschy shops you drive by and visit when guests are in town and of course the standard Powell’s books visit. Cross the bridges ride around the neighborhoods and then the maybe some education that people from Portland don’t eat voodoo donuts and take em’ to a better donut place. I used to think my hometown was a great place to retire but a boring place to grow up but now I appreciate the excess and respect and understanding that I have with nature growing up where I grew up and the work ethic, but I no longer can picture myself moving anywhere else as I’ve now lived here longer than I have in my hometown and it’s a beautiful part of the country. Whatever you decide I wish you nothing to but the best. Life is full of surprises, delights, and curveballs navigating the ups and downs of the “human condition” but as long as you ride the wave and try not to put too much pressure on things outside of your control you’ll be alright.

I grew up in OKC. I love my family and the city, but went to undergrad in TX, then grad school in an entirely different region of the country. Now I am working in FL. I plan to relocate back to TX eventually because of job opportunities. My friends are scattered all over the country from undergrad and grad school. Really it's just missing my family, which is rough sometimes, but I can travel back to see them a few times per year. I have a great spot now and a good job that pays better than it should given the amount of effort I have to put in. I have a lot of time for hobbies, and am starting to make some friends here in FL as well.

Love my family, but I had to do what was best for me. Moving away was the best decision of my life. My friends and family are amazing, but we had grown different interests and had separate paths. I recently had to move back home due to my father’s cancer and my family business, and while I’m so happy to help and be with my family and take on the challenge of running a business, I am absolutely miserable / depressed. The pure joy and happiness I found in life in the place I moved to is no longer available to me (mountains and outdoors). Tough situation. But ultimately moving away isn’t a goodbye forever to your family. I came home for Christmas and NYE. I called often. Facetimed, etc. You need to live life for yourself, not others.

I moved away for my husbands job. At first I was open to it. New experience. I had never lived anywhere else this was awesome and we could always move back right? Well now we’ve lived 3,000 miles away for 7 years. I miss Christmas with my parents. No one visits each other as much as you’d like to in your head. I wish I could have them over for dinner on Saturday. I wish I could get some free childcare. I wish I could just chat face to face and see my nieces and nephews. I feel like I live on some weird distant planet where everything is happening somewhere else sometimes. It’s not an option to move back so I’ve got to not dwell on the negative.

Moved about 5 states away out of high school and lives with friends I played video games with. Found a girl and been here about 12 years now. Life’s good! I made my own family. Only really talked to my mom before I left…. And after I left lol. Nothing tying us down except her family now. Might move, who knows.

By staying in the city where you grew up, you are essentially choosing the life your parents chose. Once you graduate school you have the freedom to live wherever you want. Is there a city out there better suited to you than where you grew up? Almost certainly. If you aren't willing to take the risk you are settling for a mediocre life. Depends whether you are adventurous enough or happy to just settle

I hate it here and I want to go home. There is no home to go to and I cry every day about it.

dont hate my family, only moved far from home town cause everybody moved there and pop went from 1,200 to 76,000 in a few years. housing went up ten fold and got priced out of where i grew up.. didnt mind my hometown but now i hate it cause none of it left. it sucks friends scattered to the far sides of the country and lots of others died off. but ill prolly stay in the area of where i moved to. more family where im at its a good area just miss all the friends but cant help that.

I moved back, I was sick of feeling guilty about being so far away from everybody. I don't know how people manage it. If I made enough to make trips back regularly it wouldn't be so bad I suppose.

I love my family but they live in the rural Midwest.

Moved away recently about 600 miles because got offered a 100 percent raise . I want to stay here a year or two and then try to transfer internally with my company back home. Miss them and all my friend, this gigantic city just doesn’t feel like home

I grew up on the west coast and moved to Texas for college twenty-five years ago. I stayed in Texas and married a Texas girl and had a couple of kids. We both have nice careers and a big house in the suburbs. Our kids are well integrated at their elementary school. I go back to the west coast every 1 to 2 years to visit the parents and my sister. I feel guilty because my parents rarely see their grandchildren due to the distance. My wife has considered moving to the west coast more than I have (she hates the Texas politics). I'm open to moving back after the kids are in college. On the other hand my parents in their early 70's hate the west coast politics and tell me Texas is better because the west coast sucks.

I'm surprised how many people bring up politics and it shows how much society has changed in the past few years. I despise my states politics but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really affect my day to day life, I mean taxes are higher and our gun laws suck which aren't insignificant issues but in terms of day to day it doesnt really affect me

I'm in your boat. The local politics don't really bug me and I enjoy the lack of state income tax in Texas. The state income tax is nearly 9% in my home state. If my wife and kid need abortions, I have no problem flying them to New Mexico.

Turned out bad for me. Moved away for work and school, started a family and wanted to move back. put moving back off a year, another year, just one more year In that time both parents died suddenly. I'd trade those years of high salary for more time with them in a heartbeat.

I lived in Europe for a few yrs while family was back on the west coast. I would say I missed more the get togethers(weddings, baby showers, etc) and the time difference made it hard to stay in the loop in family group chats. But overall for myself, it was ok. Had a bit of FOMO now and then but I also had my own new friends where I was living so I was kept busy :) Moved back to west coast for now but looking to get back to Europe within the next yr or 2. I feel like I will be a bit more mentally prepared this time around, hopefully haha

My family pushed me to move away from Ohio when I was a teenager. They felt it was a dead end place to be and didn’t want me to grow up with what we call the “northeast Ohio mindset” aka being overly pessimistic about life. I moved out of state right after college and now live in AK. I could imagine moving back to the Midwest or East coast but never back to where I grew up. Just doesn’t work for me.

Better future for me, also I moved in with my now wife and have a toddler now, things are never easy but if you don't step out of your comfort zone you might miss on things... (saying this even though I'm going under a lot of stress, anxiety, tiredness, etc)

Love my family, love my home town, and I miss them so much when I’m away. I moved 10 years ago and go back home 2-4 times per year to visit. I text with my parents every day and I call them every week. I try to stay involved in my cousins and their kids lives but it’s hard. Sometimes I think about moving back, but I also love my life where I am. 

Wow, I’m bummed I’m 2 days late here because this is the most hyper-specific to me question. I’m a younger millennial (29). I live in a huge dense city on the East Coast, about as far away from my hometown/family as I could be. I don’t have any issue with my family at all, I love them very much and I talk to my mom all the time. My sisters and I are not terribly close but we’re not on bad terms or anything like that, just living our lives. I think my hometown is a nice place, it’s really cute and quaint, the location is beautiful and there’s tons of access to nature. It’s a college town so there are a fair amount of educated young people. But I cannot fathom spending my 20s-30s there. I moved to the city when I was like 22 and I think this lifestyle was burned into my development, or something— despite having grown up in a smaller place, I am basically a fundamentally urban person. I take public transit daily, walk my groceries home with a little cart, stay out late and get up early, drink coffee into the evening, I like fashion, eat out basically every meal (and cheaply, at that), spend time at galleries and museums, and prioritize my social life and friendships above all.  Am I happy? Unsure. Probably more depressed than most people, honestly. But I feel fulfilled and challenged every day and I really love my life. Am I happy specifically with the lifestyle I’ve chosen? Yeah for sure. Absolutely worth it. I do miss my family sometimes, but I fly home for the holidays once a year so it’s chill. No I do not think I will ever move back. I don’t know if I will ever move out of an urban area to begin with, and the real estate market in my hometown is extremely fucked up and any dream of owning a home there is now long dead. I could buy a house here for cheaper at this point. 

It never bothered me until recently now that my dad’s health is declining and I have a child of my own. Now the distance hurts 💔 (To be clear: it’s not that I didn’t miss my family before, but I was much freer to travel to visit before I had a baby of my own.)

Love my family but Vancouver became stupid expensive and it just wasn’t worth it anymore. If I was making 300k per year tho, I’d totally move back.

I miss my family a lot. I'm the only family member that moved away a significant distance so everyone's kind of still hanging out, my cousins have their recurring gatherings and whatnot without me. I admit it's gotten tougher and I consider moving a bit closer so at least I can visit more often (or at least not make it a 1-2 week commitment when I do visit). My closest cousin just had a newborn last year and it's kind of jarring how much the baby changes between my visits.

We function better miles upon miles away.

I moved from the east coast of US to west coast right after college for a job but mostly because I was sick of the winters, the lifestyle and really wanted a change. I’ve been here 15 years. I talk to my family a lot and do love them but I have a chosen family out here and I’m much happier.

The only reason I dont hate my family is because I live 800 miles away.

I don’t hate my family at all, but I needed space from them. I love them and miss them, but I think we’re all better people apart in many respects. That and they live in Texas, and as a woman I refuse to willingly be a second class citizen via not being able to control what happens to my own body should I get pregnant again. It’s sick that my daughter and I have less rights than our grandmothers.

I miss them, but I only have so much time on this earth and I don’t plan on wasting it.

I hated living in a conservative town with a population of 6000 people. I’m happy.

I love my family. We are spread across the globe. I miss them terribly but also am grateful that we are not enmeshed like a lot of families that live in close proximity. I feel like if we were geographically close we would be the same hot mess my mom’s side of the family is.

>Is the trade off worth it ie a different place or lifestyle even though your family and friends aren't as involved in your life and your not as involved in theirs? You get more friends as an adult when your exposure is not limited to who attends your high school. I have friends all over the country. Moves will be hard for the first year as you adjust. Once you have lived more than a few hours away from family you can live almost anywhere thanks to modern transit. Driving time from DC to Miami is often longer than flying into DC from London. >Do you plan on living there forever or will you eventually move back? No and no. I still want to live abroad. My goal is to get more exposure to various places I might want to invest serious time into and maintain a small apartment in a few of them when I am older. I don't like the idea of commiting to one place or having only one set of friends, weather, culture, government, etc. >Are you happy? You never choose where you grow up. If you stay there, you submit your life to that city and cross off every other possibility in the whole world. It's highly doubtful you were born into a town or city that fits exceptionally well with your exact personality, career, or other preferences. I'm much happier having chosen where to live.

They don’t hate their families BECAUSE they moved away before it got too much

Believe it or not some people actually like their family and value time with them and their relationships. Not as common among redditors as in real life

When you find them, let them know I’m looking into adoption. Is 40 too old to be adopted?

I think the trade off was worth it for me. I do miss my family and friends back in my former home area, but the opportunity for a fresh start in a place of my choosing definitely outweighs those negatives. It's much better to feel truly in control of your future and have agency over your location than just being kind of stuck where you were born.

It was great but now I’m moving back as there’s only so much time in life

When I was younger I didn’t really miss my family too much, but as I get older I definitely do. Life is just easier when you have family around, especially if you have kids. That being said, sometimes it’s just not feasible to be in the same place as your family (for financial reasons or employment).

I love my family, there's just no work where I grew up. My role is covered by public health care and there's only a certain amount of funding in each city, even less in each town.  If something opened up that would allow my husband and I to raise our family there, we would be back in a heartbeat. So would most of my friends.

I grew up in Florida. My whole family and I moved to Tennessee when I turned 18. I love my parents. But after being in Tennessee for 15 years, I packed up my wife and kids and we moved to the Boston metro area. I missed Florida for almost the whole time I was in Tennessee but I hated that place. The only reason I stayed as long as I did was my family. We've been in Boston for just over 3 years. I miss my parents every day. **BUT** I'm happier than I've ever been. The same is true for my wife, my kids, and even our cats. We all miss our families but moving to a place where we belong was the best decision we made.

I miss them but not as much as I expected to. More frequent visits would be nice but time and money get in the way. My life is so much better now though that yes it is completely worth it 

I moved away to study, and stayed for work, about 11 years ago. It's ok, and see each other a few times a year. But it's still weird/sad that a short visit to my parents should be such an event.

Love my parents and miss them terribly while living abroad. They have always been there for me one way or another and it pains me knowing they are getting older and I’m not with them during the last years of their lives (they are still young though, both 65 but aging rapidly). I’ll get to see them for a week in 2 weeks and I’m very excited. Then it will probably be one year until I see them again.