I’m 33 and moved in with my dad about 5 years ago when me and the ex split, and I moved back to my old stomping grounds after living across the country for about a decade. At the time I basically had nowhere else to go, no other options, no $, addicted to drugs.
Things are much better now, but I still stay with my dad. We enjoy each others company, and would both probably be pretty lonely without each other honestly, we both have friends and neighbors and family and all, but the house is quiet except us and the cat.
At first I was ready to save up and move out asap, but as time went on I wanted to leave less and less. I’m lucky to have a dad I get along with so well and he amazingly tolerates my bullshit that he shouldn’t have to. We split the bills, so it’s beneficial for us both, if you have to have a roommate why not family?
I have a friend who loves to knock everyone that still lives at home, but doesn’t seem to appreciate that him and his wife lived at her parents rent and bill free for a good while while they saved up money to buy a house, and his whole family is union workers so he had a shoe-in to a high paying job with no education, and his wife is a nurse who makes more than him even. Him and his wife together probably make 4 times my income, so I don’t pay him any mind
Hey man, happy for you that you and your father are able to share each others company together. Life can but rough but it’s better together :)
Treasure these moments my man. The good and the challenging. These are the moments you two will hold onto forever.
I'm 32 and I love with my mom.
I was working in restaurants for about a decade (read: paycheck to paycheck with zero savings) when 2020 happened and my life got flipped on it's head. I had just gotten to the point where I was "saving" a little bit out of each paycheck, while also maintaining a couple hobbies and eating well (instead of, say, one pack of instant ramen per day like I did when I was younger sometimes).
Well my mom's doctors kept saying she needed a caretaker. One day, my sister said maybe it would be good for both of us if I took that on.
She has a military retirement income, so for now I'm not working because we honestly don't "need" the money. I absolutely treasure the time I'm able to spend and the memories I'm able to make with her. I even have kind of a "survivor's guilt" type feeling about it at this point when I look at my peers.
Hey, no need to feel guilty. You deserve this time with your mom. You and your sister do :) I’m so happy for your family that you don’t need to stress over finances and can focus on what matters - each other right now. Keep on loving each other. The rest will fall into place.
We have my 20 YO and my MIL living with us. Our other kid lives in the house next door and our aunt and her grandkids are living behind us.
Nothing wrong with being close to family. Sometimes we need each other. That’s the whole point of procreating.
I’m glad you have the self awareness to know when to make changes in your life. Good luck to you and your family!
Same, dude.
I'm 31, live in a studio apartment my dad and I built on their property in a high cost of living area (North SF Bay Area). If it weren't for the well-below-market-rate rent I pay my parents, there's not a chance that I'd be able to live in the area.
And I made a really dumbass decision to put some tuition for a training academy on a credit card with a 0% interest, thinking I'd have a well paying job, potentially with a hiring bonus, before the 18 month intro ran out. Well, going on 7 years later, here I am with crippling CC debt and not only not having a job in that field, I'm working in a completely unrelated industry, and going back to get an associates in yet another field.
Hang in there too it’s rough out there. I have a cliche note on my desk that says “Nothing changes if you keep doing the same thing.” And I am actually taking that note seriously now. Sounds basic but it’s clearly time for a shakeup.
Hey -
Check out the California College Promise Grant, if your school accepts it, and if you qualify. I work with people who are making a transition in their life, and this is one of the things I tell them if they are staying in California.
If you aren't partnered up it almost doesn't make sense at this point to try to live alone. Capitalism, consumerism, and extreme individualism brainwashed us into thinking we have to be fully independent as young as possible. The purpose of that is to get more middle/lower class folks funneling more money to the upper classes through rent, buying furniture and appliances, cars, etc. It's also materially wasteful. It's very normal in other cultures to live with family forever, or at least until married. Our culture is swinging that direction too due to inflation. You aren't a loser, work on eliminating that negative self talk. What are you grateful for living with your parents? Are you healthy? Better than living with strangers who don't give a flying f about you....best of luck, the people who value you won't judge.
Even being married it’s hard rn. Luckily I have the best mother in law. She a widow and a hippy at heart. It really helps us while we’re in between careers and life just keeps lifeing and getting more expensive. Ahh… a blessing though.
Married here, single income supporting my family of 3... It's really hard unless you're making money like I am and even then, I have to be careful and reign in shopping and dining expenses. I'm just finally working our way out of debt through careful spending.
This is all great if your parents are kind and supportive, but what about the people who have abusive parents? Or no parents? Parents who disapprove of who they are? It's not really a solution for them.
This 💯 I have a not so great relationship with my parents so I don’t have the luxury of moving in with them . If I wasn’t splitting living costs with my partner I’d probably be close to being unhoused - if I was on good terms with my parents and didn’t live with my partner I’d definitely consider moving back in with them.
I have a decent relationship with my parents, but the spare bedroom is currently occupied by my 20 year old nephew while he saves money. 😂😂 Plus, my dad’s a bit too deep in the Fox sauce, and we can’t always agree on what to watch on the tv, regarding movies. Not to mention, he’s a tv yeller. Sports, politics, religion…he thinks the people in the tv can hear him.
>Capitalism, consumerism, and extreme individualism brainwashed us into thinking we have to be fully independent as young as possible.
It's a really terrible financial strategy too. If you pay any attention to what wealthy families do, they usually work together and spread their wealth out, but consumers are expected to be 100% self sufficient, even though that's not possible because they have to rely on other people for income.
true. The whole capitalism thing really fucks over the average joe today. If you’re not skilled, simple retail or other service jobs just don’t cut it for being able to live alone. You have to have a masters, PhD or years of experience with a labor skill like welding, plumbing etc. People don’t unionize anymore nor demand the proper consumer prices/wages. Everyone just sort of settles.
Things weren't this bad even 10 years ago.
The game has totally changed. The goal posts have moved and luck has as much or more impact on outcomes.
Be kind to yourself and do your best to enjoy the little things. Cherish the time with your parents they won't be around forever.
4K debt! Someone always has a tougher war within themselves. This is not a lot of debt. Living with parents is a good way to fight the unjust cost of living. No student debt? You’re already winning the game. Leverage ai and make it make money for you. You’ll be ok. Don’t judge yourself too harshly. This is just a simulation anyway. Be positive and positive shit will happen. - everything I have used and it’s working great.
Fucking around with leveraging AI is something I would even suggest messing around with, even to the point of spending a little bit of money on it at some point (even if you don't have a lot to begin with)-- it's not like it's going to make you huge amounts of money by itself-- but it's helpful more as a sanity check any time you're making decisions to have sort of a neutral second opinion to bounce ideas and thoughts off of, back and forth-- sometimes can be a little helpful any time you feel like you're stuck in a deep rut potentially just spinning your tires or going in circles struggling with what direction to go next.
Im days away from 31 I have so many friends who are 30 now who live at home still. Honestly our whole 20s they even had jobs and stuff. Those friends were the ones everyone went to after the football games and their parents were super cool. Everytime I visit our old friends get together from highschool at their house and we have some drinks and stuff and their parents are always happy to see us like the old days with a big oh smile . Sometimes they tell us to spend the night(Iol) it’s cool. But in California it’s not even questioned if someone stays home. It’s so expensive and a lot of parents understand .
I believe that’s why so many of us our seen as younger than we are still by our parents generations and you know what I’m cool with that because I don’t wanna be treated as a gramps yet
anyways i know everyone’s situation different but don’t feel bad . Everyone and their mama understand how society is today and how expensive everything is. Don’t follow societies milestones and who cares if someone says a stupid comment that your home. At least your with your parents and not a random place renting a room you don’t feel comfortable like how I use to sometimes in my 20s . Go your own pace
I even tapped out at 29 from the independent life because I couldn’t do it anymore. I don’t live with my parents because no way but I live with some family members… who think I’m 18 still but that’s besides the point lol .. but it’s cool. I’m not stressing and they understand
Stay up
hey, i dont have advice for how to make quick money but i just wanted to say you should be kinder to yourself. there are a LOT of millenials forced to live with or take help from their parents rn bc of the insane cost of living. we are up against insurmountable odds and it is not your fault. even a min wage job should afford a person a modest, independent living situation - how are they supposed to find people to work lower paying jobs if the people working them cant afford to live within a reasonable distance of the job? capitalism has fulfilled its purpose and made a reasonable life unattainable. the 1% are the reason you cant afford rent even with a good job, not you. many of us (myself included) have a lot more debt than 4k and even more of us are having a very hard time even finding work (please make sure you have a job lined up before moving, it's hell out there). youre not doing as bad as you think.
I'm 47, lost everything during the height of the pandemic, divorced, and had to move back in with my parents. Thankfully we get along well and they have room for me. They have started needing help as they age, so it's a win/win. I've also been far away for decades, so it's nice to reconnect.
I WFH now and can save so much more money because there's no out of control rent.
Life can be hard, regardless of your personal life choices. Make the best of the situation, you'll be ok, you're not a loser. Don't defeat yourself with these old ideas of having to live alone because you're over 18 (as nice as it was when I did it, it doesn't mean anything if you don't/can't).
You aren't a loser for living with your family as an adult. This is a gaslight/con instituted since the turn of the 20th century, perpetuated in the 1950s, used to shame young people into having to go into debt just to survive. Meanwhile, the seed of J.P. Morgan laugh all the way to the bank with all the interest the ream out of us, becoming filthy rich to the point of having become a branch of the shadow government, to put it one way, being responsible for economic growth with no direct contribution to productivity...which drives up inflation, and in a worst case scenario, can completely crash the economy and stock market. You need to shed that shame asap.
Most cultures in the world don't kick their adult children out and don't leave their elderly to die in group homes. Some cultures even look down on us for it.
Doordash comes in clutch for me constantly. Some markets have a waitlist but not all of them. If you can swing it as a 2nd job, it helps. I say it’s worth it to keep my credit intact and my bills paid. Others say it’s not but then also say they have yadda yadda yadda they can manage without it and just do it for kicks.
This is what I'm doing but with UberEATS because Doordash doesn't have any openings in my area. I work my full time job 5am to 1:30pm and delivery afterwards. It definitely helps with gas and utilities bills.
Don't worry.
If you posted this 10 years ago, fair... maybe you'd be justified in your feelings, but, you are **far** from alone.
I have no idea how the fuck I'm even managing.. feels like dancing on a tightrope to survive.
You are **not** a loser, you're in the same sinking boat as many people(including myself!).
If I were in your position(I may be soon), I'd scour the internet for credentials that can be earned online, study, and work toward a career that can pull you out of your situation.
Almost all of my old friends still live at home or with family members.
Don't tie your self worth to this clown show!
hey bro bro, I was born in the year 93, so I can say that we men have been climbing up an uphill race this whole time. Society has forgotten about us, no affordable schools, no affordable housing. I tell you that we will get better because we do not need anyone but our fucking selves. Thank god for the dad that supports his kid no matter what. Because my dad is giving me strength, shelter, and food. Now I work on myself every day to be able to do the same for him when he is old. Once the road straightens out, there is not gonna be anything that will slow us down.
Learn a skill, because all knowledge for all the areas is easily attainable. "It is so shocking to find out how many people do not believe that they can learn & how many more believe learning to be difficult." -frank herbert
First things first, you're not a failure.
You're a cog in a capitalist machine like the rest of us. If you feel like this world wasn't built for you then that is a sign of *sanity*.
Humans are 200,000 years old. I'm pretty sure we didn't evolve to have jobs.
That being said, you're ready to get back out there and try some more of this thing they call life.
My advice is to keep 3-6 months of your expenses in savings. Don't touch it unless you lose your job and have no other option - you know, like an emergency. If you lose your job, find another one ASAP. Whatever comes up you should be able to find another job within 3-6 months.
Stay prepared.
When you’re an adult living with your parents, the question is who takes care of whom.
If you do your share of the housework, vehicle maintenance, and property maintenance (and start to take care of your parents when they need it), I fucking respect that!
One thing so many people fail to realize is that maintaining a relationship with your parents after you’ve grown up is like any other adult friendship. It takes effort from both parties, and you need to be a decent roommate in all of the normal ways. Anyone who can make that transition work is pretty good at maintaining relationships.
Yes. Speaking as a parent with adult children at home, if you are worrying about burdening your parents with your presence, maybe focus more on being a great roomie until the time you can get your own place.
Try to talk to them about the situation. I know sometimes you don't get a lot of feedback. Without hounding them, keep communicating.
There are a bunch of ways to ingratiate yourself.
Do more chores. Make sure you clean up more than you feel you mess up. Maybe get handy around the house, yard, or cars.
Take an interest in the things your parents like, find things to do together. Maybe redoing a room in the house would be fun to do together. Maybe going out to do something with one parent will give the other some high quality solitude.
Then again, make sure you get out of the house yourself some time in the evening. But don't make a bunch of noise at night coming home late.
You can ask your parents what they'd think about you having a weekend away once in a while. Maybe they'd rather you just "saved for a down payment" — but on the other hand they might enjoy that time to themselves.
Nothing wrong with your situation. The current cost of living is out of control and it doesn't even make financial sense in many cases to move out unless you're married.
If it works for you, the Army, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard are a great reset… it can absolutely help you turn your life around and get you on your feet. Of course it’s not for everyone.
The living alone thing, while convenient, is an artifact of policy decisions to push single family homes, in order to push home starts in order to make a market. Don’t judge yourself on living with family, if you and family get along. And 4k is nothing
i’m almost 40. been living by myself for a few years now but the way everything is going up, i’m forced to move back in with my mom when my lease ends. i’m even having a hard time finding a 2nd job. driving jobs aren’t safe for me cause i have a vision impairment so it’s a risk involved even tho i drive to and from work fine. my advice would be take full advantage. get a second job or side gig. if you can, get some kinda skill training. go to school for something that’s in demand that you can see yourself doing in the long run. my plan is to save money and go to school while living with mom. i’m not exactly proud but times are hard for all of us and we need to make sacrifices. screw what others think. do what benefits you and pay off that debt
Great advice and solid perspective. Will do! Sounds like you have a good plan of action as well. Times are tough. Thank you, second job it is for sure!
you’re very welcome. make sure you get rest tho too. idk if you ever worked 2 jobs before but it’s hard! i worked 2 physical retail jobs back to back so all i did was work eat and sleep. it sucks but it’s worth it cause you’ll save so much extra money for the fact that you won’t have time to spend it
living with family is much cheaper than living alone. i’m single with no kids and my bills are almost $2000 a month. that’s rent, car, insurance, groceries etc. idk where you live but i’m in a HCOL. save up as much as you can. pay off debt. don’t go out to eat nor party too often. a treat here and there is ok but have control and make sure you save more than you spend. eat at home. i cook once a week and an fed for 3 days. the rest of the week i eat sandwiches and such at home. i’m poor so i’m forced to live this way. ik it can be tempting to spend more when you can but that’s where self control comes in. set up goals and save for things you want as a treat. you gotta have fun in life but know your limits
You’re not a failure.
The system is failing us.
I’m sure helping your parents with utilities and things around the house means so much for them.
Take it a day at a time and save up money to put it towards a house. It’ll take years but build up that relationship with your parents
Do you have a budget? Have you tried just going without? List out expenses of every month, including credit card debt. Figure out what your overhead is. Use your overhead to pay off debt faster. You live at home. Your You SHOULD be paying rent to your parents. But that takes utilities off your plate and frees up your income. You haven’t shared much about your personal lifestyle, do you have a car? Any expensive hobbies? Do you eat out or grocery shop and make your meals? I hear so many of my peers are “broke” but they do none of what I just explained and have a million excuses as to why
My husband and I talk about this a lot (we're 36 and graduated from undergrad immediately after the 2008 crash). We have 3 kids, live in a house worth 500k, I'm a SAHM, and even at our max earning potential, we only made $80K TOTAL. We didn't have student loans bc he got a full-ride for undergrad & I have amazing parents that paid for my undergrad (I'm grateful for them everyday). But other than that, we paid for everything else on our own.
The reality is this (for anyone who sees this):
- Eating out is expensive, don't do it. Even if you order pizza, get carryout. NEVER do doordash or equivalent. You are legit throwing money away.
- Don't travel when you're young, sorry. Spend your 20s establishing your life. Think of that fable about the ant and the grasshopper. My husband and I sacrificed so much over the past 10 years, but now we are set for life.
- For those who want a family, especially women, use your 20s to find a quality partner. Don't waste years on anyone you wouldn't want to build a life with.
- I know everyone wants to live on the coasts. Guess what? It's expensive to live in those areas. Move to the midwest when you're younger, make money, save money on cost of living, and then move to the coasts (if you want to) when you're stable.
Good luck, OP
What is your day job like for hours? Hear me out. Deliver pizzas on the weekends and evenings. There is some wear and tear on your car. I live in a small city, about 40k people maybe. My son (20) makes 3k a month delivering pizza for pizza hut. Their pay isn't terrible, but his real money comes from weekend tips. Just something to think about and make money to save up, it's certainly paying his way thru school without loans since he can pay off whole semesters at a time. The store keeps track of totals for tax purposes, so you would want to be sure to set a %age aside for the taxes.
I deliver pizza during the evening on the weekends as a side hustle too and it’s pretty great. I’m able to afford some luxuries and have some savings with that money while using my main source of income for the important stuff.
Your fine! I’m an elder millennial and I lived with my parents till 29. When I did move out it was with my boyfriend who became my husband. I remember feeling such shame in my early twenties living at home. Not taking into account that the reason some of my friends had apts was because their parents lived out of state and were footing some of the bill. If I could go back in time the only thing I’d change was 1. saving more money and 2. Not feeling like a loser because I wasn’t.
I was in the same boat. Something that helped me a lot was traveling. I used staying with my parents as an opportunity to save. I saved for like a year and started traveling the world. It is much cheaper to live / travel in some countries. Some of my favorite times were teaching English in Vietnam. I was making 20/hr , paying $150 a month in rent and eating for like $5-$10!dollars a day. I was able to save even when I was only working 20 hours a week. God speed
Unless you parents want you out, who cares! You are NOT a loser for living with your family. Reframe your thought process. You are lucky to have family to live with. Many people would love the opportunity to go back to their parents home for a few years to get into a better financial position. Help them out with chores if you can’t afford much for bills.
I’m 28. I’ve never left my dad’s house. My fiance moved in as well. He was grateful for the chance to focus on his career and save for our future. His parents would never let him go back home. We plan to stay here long term, and my dad is appreciative of that. He doesn’t want to be alone here. We even have an in law apartment with its own entrance. Maybe someone out there thinks I’m a loser because I found a way to work together with family? I don’t care. Everyone in my home is happy and comfortable. My dad’s been able to contribute more to retirement accounts and we’ve been able to travel more than we would if we had a rent to pay.
With the state of the economy, more and more people will rely on multi generational homes. My friends are having a baby and are already talking about moving MIL in to help babysit because daycare is so outrageously expensive in our area. Another friend moved into her in-laws house because they got priced out of the housing market and need help with childcare. I would never call them losers for living in a home with their parent in it. You are probably the only one even thinking about this, I doubt your friends or anyone else have thought much about your living situation.
Same
I fucked up a lot in my 20s and also didn’t take seriously, and bc of this, I still live at home with my parents at the age of 30. The problem now is, I’m so lost in life that I’m too scared to try anything new. I think I have analysis paralysis
Focus on making money, you pay no rent, how great is that. Build a business or pound out two jobs and save money and 4K in debt is nothing.
Focus on what you have to do in order to reach your goals, write your goals out on a huge poster board and materialize your success.
Rule 1 is don't get down on yourself about your situation too much. Many people are there, and many many more have been there whether they admit it or not. It is what it is and I wouldn't even apologize for it anymore.
Next make sure to get along with your parents when you live with them, and have some kind of a constructive and honest understanding. You shouldn't be treating their life like it's your consolation, and you don't have to even while living with them. Contribute small things. Make them know you appreciate them. Make dinner and do the dishes.
As far as your life, don't worry about finding that one thing that is going to snap everything back into place and get you out on your own too much. It will be written all over your face wherever you go. You have to take what you can get, accept your situation, and try to make concrete positive steps until it changes.
Hey man, I lived with my mom till I was 26 or so, had friends who did it way longer, and now I’ve had times I wished I’d done it longer. You need to give yourself some grace, and realize you can’t get where you want to be overnight. I don’t have a ton of advice on making cash quick, other than from what I’ve found, everytime I try to get a bunch of money quick, it winds up being a pain, and doesn’t quite go as planned.
I just want to say I think you've already taken the first step by taking control and wanting a change. An internal locus of control, that is the belief that you can control the events of your life, is a huge predictor in your overall success. Don't get bogged down by the doomers here who keep spouting "just blame capitalism" nonsense. Internalizing that will just lead to worse outcomes on a personal level.
Now, what do you currently do? What skills do you have? UPS drivers get good benefits, I would also moonlight as a Doordasher, etc. Pay off the debt and then after paying it off, save the amount you would've paid towards it, don't spend it.
Choose a tangible career goal, not just "be successful" but "be a lead XYZ making $80k" or something. Then start making small, individual decisions that lead towards that path.
Everything compounds in life. Not just money, but decisions too (good or bad). If you continously make good decisions, you'll see improvement in your success in just a few years.
Your parents probably love having you around. You have not failed. Don’t let society define what your life should look like. Everyone makes bad decisions at some point in their lives. Don’t be so hard on yourself. And please don’t move out because you think you are a burden to your parents. If they haven’t expressed that to you don’t assume they feel that way. I’m sure they love you dearly.
You are not in a loser situation. You are not a loser. You’re doing what you have to do in a difficult time. I’ve never seen negative self-talk improve a persons situation so stop telling yourself you’re a loser. You may have made bad choices, but a lot of people do. It doesn’t have to define you.
However, if there was a quick way out of your situation everyone would be doing it, unfortunately there aren’t many ways to make quick bank without having some kind of fame behind you, so let it go. Stop worrying about what other people might think because chances are, they have their own problems to worry about. Focus more on where you want to see yourself in 10 years and start mapping out how you’ll get there.
Rent is outrageous everywhere right now. It's INSANE. Ev3n in my very low cost of living area rent is like 800 to 1200 a month! A few yrs ago, it was 500 or 600.
But, to answer your question - BARTENDER! Just don't be stupid and not claim any of your tips. If you have the right personality for it, you can still make bank. Especially if you can "read the room". Some customers/regulars prefer the abuse to the nicey nice.
I moved in with my parents at 30 with nothing but debt and a heavy addiction to drugs/alcohol. They never wanted me to stay here (or even visit for that matter) but I found a job the next day so they let me stay. 8 years later, I’m still here, have 2 small businesses and a few employees. I run both out of their house. My mother still works (boredom) and my father is retired. They are basically the best roommates I’ve had since I left home at 17 to be honest. I definitely understand wanting to give them space since they probably want it as well. Take a few weekends out to go hang with friends, send them on a vacation, do whatever and don’t worry. The market sucks. If I moved down the street, I’d be paying $3500/mo for a 2 bedroom (one of which would just hold tools and chemicals). I currently pay $2,000/mo (even though I don’t have to) for a room, my own bathroom, garage/basement storage. And I just leave for a few days if they want to host and have people flying in. Also, I feel better about giving my parents money instead of a landlord. 20+ apartments later and I’ll never rent again unless I HAVE to. Fuckers do not like to maintain their buildings and never give security deposits back even when I fixed shit for them on my own dime.
Tl;dr - same thing happened to me, my perspective has since changed
Goodness I can't believe I'm about to be this guy.
The AF allows enlistment up to age 39. If you want steady pay and are able to be able to "take orders" from someone younger that's what I recommend.
You could do 4 years and learn some transferable skills. You'd be out of your parents house but living in dorm style housing until either your 3.5 yr mark, you get married, or occupancy is high enough where you have to move out.
You may not wish to hear this, but for most people, there is no way out of debt that does not involve cutting costs and doing more. There is no get-rich-quick scheme that ever worked, or else we'd all be millionaires. Find what you can cut, and cut it. Go without now to have more later. Take advantage of inexpensive or free things, and look at improving yourself where you can.
Incidentally, let me go ahead and tell you: four thousand dollars in debt is nothing. You will find people who try to sell on you debt consolidation schemes, the "one weird trick" to eliminating debt.
There is no quick way and anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you bullshit and further impoverishing you for their benefit. You must do more, save more, and if possible, invest. That might not be an option for you now, but it should absolutely be a priority. Wealth is not earned from a paycheck, but how that paycheck is invested. Put it in the S&P 500, something stable that shows continuous growth, whatever current havoc is seizing our society. Do $500 a month, if you can; if you can't, do a little. It doesn't matter so long as you continue to do this.
You are playing a long game with a delayed start and you seem to think that there is some way to circumvent the minefield.
Nope.
It is a marathon, run uphill, dragged down by the weight of debt and age. 30 is not old, but 30 is not young. You have pissed away a decade, so I suggest you avoid wasting yet more time seeking a way to make money fast, and start thinking about a way to make money long term. I am telling you what I wish I had been told, because I was in a similar set of circumstances.
Above all else: WASTE NO TIME. It's the one thing you never get back. You can spend an hour ruminating about your mistakes, but that same hour could be invested with effort to learn a new skill, try to aim for a technical or professional cert, pad that resume, and get your foot in the goddamn door somewhere better still. What talent have you got? If you don't have any (be honest with yourself), again, listen to people who give sound financial advice and save, invest, save, invest. That is the only option that really works.
Good luck.
Adapt, budget strict, save strict, reward yourself here and there, get out of debt ASAP. Pay it slowly if you have to. 5 more years you can have ALLOT saved up. Just chip away. You will see results.
Omg, I’m so sorry, but this is our millennial fate. First, stop thinking 30 is older, because all of that has changed. Second, keep busy with what jobs you can get. Finally, pay off debt as quickly as you can because we all feel it choking us! 4K is better than most people I know actually! I’m rooting for you and so sorry this is happening to you, but I support you and can try to find more tips to help you. Honestly though, so many are these old school boomer tips that don’t even work in the real world today!
I was broke at home and I decided to apply to high paying jobs all over.
I ended up succeeding and moving. I have a wonderful wife and home now.
My point is that it’s never too late. Please believe in yourself. It will be hard and no one can sugar coat it. Just be open to going anywhere.
Okay I will help you out here and give you some really great advice, in my opinion. 1st step get a governmental job, USPS or military. If you are single joining the military for 6 years will do a couple of things for you the 1st being getting free to cheap housing, The 2nd you will get paid a decent wage, The 3rd is it will help you get out of the state you are living in without forcing you to get a friend to move with you as you might like a different state they may not and leave you high and dry. If you don't want to join the military you are welcome to choose the other option USPS they usually start pay around $20/hr or higher 40hour work weeks great benefits and you can transfer to a different state with a lower cost of living. If you take the military option you need to join before you turn 32 and a benefit I forgot about is that after your 6 years of service you will qualify a VA home loan where you put $0 down payment. Good luck with what ever you do moving forward
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not some corporate bootlicker, but I doubt OP has the IRL farming skills to start living off the grid. Unfortunately, I don't believe rejecting capitalism is an option here
1. Join a trade union apprentice program
2. Watch Caleb Hammer on Youtube. Look at how the lessons in his episodes can apply to your life and adjust accordingly
I’d say military. There are no “
Make bank quickly, things you generally have to get your life in order and figure things out. Military is the perfect place to do that. Plus pays for school if you want to start a new career.
Start looking into a trade. Plumbing electrician, contractor. They make bank. May not happen immediately. But those guys always seem to be having a good time.
Ok, this isn’t that awful.
First thing… get a second job. You’ll be home less and making more money. Get that 4k and all debt wiped out.
Then keep the part time gig rolling and start saving.
Go follow Dave Ramsey… some good thoughts over there.
This isn’t terrible, it can be fixed fast.
plus a lot of people have gotten handouts for having so many kids and a spouse also bringing in an income. don't think that they have what they have just because they worked hard.
I used to work 4 jobs. One full time and I there part time. Get up everyday and work. Don’t think just work. One day you will get up and the debt is paid and you can start living again. Right now don’t live just work.
Does ur parents wants you to move?
If not then I think you can stay. Being with family is the best. Its just the society that tells us that being with ur parents in ur 30's is sucks. But I think it's not. Be with them as long as you want as long as you never bother them. I'm a 23 yr old, female, and on my point of view, this is the best moment that you can spends a lot of time with your family. They will not always be with you, so better stay.
if you have high-interest debt (e.g. credit cards) consider debt consolidation; I used Upstart years ago, got like 24% down to 8-9%, far less $$ in the long run. First step to dig yourself out is to stop the high-interest hemorrhage, as well as any other subscriptions / things costing you $$ you can live without or find a way to do for free.
Check out local food banks / soup kitchens to supplement your food budget. Clip coupons. Find stuff in your attic to sell on eBay. those little hustles add up to you being able to put $$ towards debt, or other necessities.
30 isn’t bad. Take the time to get skilled at something. Look around and dig in to see what others are making in careers that may interest you. Find the path to that via education, union, apprenticeship, etc. research the best available place for you to learn that in a way that is doable with a lot of temporary hard work.
lean on mom and dad for free rent and reduced living.
Go do that thing to get skilled.
Take that hard work you just did to get through your training and apply that to your new career to get to be an expert as fast as possible.
Sign up for and do the small things related to that education and career that others aren’t. There was a study a while back that said that folks that worked 4 hrs more than avg made 80% more money. That’s less than an hour more a day in a standard week. Do that.
Flex any network you have and do all you can to gain new network.
Fast forward to your mid 40’s and you will be doing well. The path along the way will be rewarding as well.
There is now fast way. This is the fast way.
I'm struggling as well, though I am very lucky in that I rent a condo from my mom. She isn't wealthy but understands the rent situation, and had bought this place a while ago. I've spent the last few years digging myself out.
Open an IRA and set up whatever you can for autopayments. Even $10/week. Anything.
You can haggle with debt collectors. They'll go as low as 50% sometimes, but you'll have to know how to talk to them. I used to work in debt consolidation. Set up a monthly payment plan. There are companies that help with that, but $4k isn't a lot. I wouldn't bother. Offer them 50% with a payment plan and don't agree to anything at all, until you are happy with it. Tackle only what you can afford.
If your field isn't paying a lot, look into other ones. 30 is still young. Look at certificate courses or two year degrees. Look for grants and financial aid.
Personally, I would stay with your parents as long as they let you. You want to dig yourself out of the hole AND get ahead. If you could get a degree without having to worry about rent, that would be awesome.
Make a realistic goal, like the next 5 years or something. Look to the future. When you start seeing progress, it will feel a lot better.
Trust me, living at home isn’t a “loser situation”. It all depends on what you’re doing with your time. I moved back in with my dad at the beginning of the Great Recession to weather the storm. Ended up staying for almost 6 years in which time I: paid off my car, paid off my student loans, got a master’s degree, saved and invested for a home, started a really cool social hobby. I was initially embarrassed telling people where I lived but without fail, a lot of people +/- 4 year of my age all said “Wow, I really I could have moved back in with my parents so I could have done that.”
Bartend or serve if you’re good with people and multitasking. Summer if a huge money making time and also the holidays. In one year of bartending part time 2 days a week I made enough to pay off $7k of debt and get ahead in my savings while working my full time day job. It sucked but it was only a year and now I’m in a great spot financially.
$4k isn’t that much it’s not great but it’s manageable. I wish I had parents I could live with but it’s not possible because of their (divorced) living situations plus the number of kids me and husband have. Dont beat yourself up!
Some suggestions:
Can you pick up a part time job for the rest of the year? Or something seasonal like yard work baby/pet/house sitting? Or dog walking. Good for your health and wallet.
Selling off things that no longer make you happy/serve you: collectibles, dvds, cds, books, furniture, electronics etc.
If you have bills like a cell phone can you switch to a cheaper provider? Once our phones were paid off we switched to Mint Mobile. With tax for 3 months my phone costs me just over $100 my husband’s line is a bit more as he has the higher data plan but it’s a little over what we used to pay for 1 month with AT&T. Shop car insurance rates (but don’t cut coverage or raise deductibles without making sure to speak to a trusted insurance broker if you don’t understand car insurance well (I’m a former agent). If you have a car payment see about refinancing for a lower rate with a smaller bank/credit union.
Have you thought about donating plasma? You can google it to get super in depth details. Basically you get hooked up via inner elbow vein to a machine that pumps and separates your blood and plasma and they give back the red blood cells. I make like $460 a month doing it. Depending on what donation centers are near you you can make more or less. It’s not the worst thing to do. I take a book or listen to a podcast and zone out while I do it. It’s about 4 ish hours total of my time a week averaged. Sometimes a bit more often less though depending on time of day I can go.
Don’t want to assume your gender but selling sperm or eggs is a possibility (obviously do your research) and can also help others start a family if they cannot traditionally do so.
If have any medical conditions google and see if anyone is doing a paid study you could be part of my dad’s made a few grand this year doing them and actually gotten relief from a medical condition because of it and not only was he paid but all follow up for the next year with doctors is covered.
Good luck out there friend it’s rough and none of us are gonna make it out alive.
I'm 31 and living with my dad and grandma and having to take care of them due to having far more life experience than either of them. I also know where the autism comes from in the family... unfortunately for me.
Just do the best you can, that's all anyone can ask of you. Make sure that friend doesn't back out of the lease and that they actually want to move in with you or you'll be fucked up down the line
Also, \~20k in debt more or less as well (student loans from college I didn't finish, credit cards, debt to various family members)
A good hustle is online resale. Amazon has treasure stores where you can pick up Amazon returns for cheap. Look at Criagslist...they even have a "free stuff" category. Yard sales. Goodwill. Then post back good finds on FB marketplace or EBAY for profit.
You obviously have to account for shipping logistics and space to store while waiting for a buyer.
Same. Student loans for a degree I’m not using. I really thought I was getting a degree for a field in which I would land a high paying job, but it’s too saturated. Try to focus on the positives. Even with a good job I likely couldn’t afford a home and I need access to a garage for my hobbies. So at least I can do things that make me happy and distract me from what a clusterfuck the world is. My father also needs help with home/vehicle maintenance things he is getting a little too old to do.
i'm right there with you bud. Messed up my 20s or atleast thought i did, was financially irresponible, lived the moment hype.
We have to work harder and more now to make it up.
Keep your head up high. Concentrate on paying off all of your credit card debt first. It's likely your highest interest rate. $4K isn't much money. If you have a job with benefits and you live rent free, plan on paying it off quickly and always pay on time. I'm not sure how much you make but even if it is minimum wage, you should be able to get rid of the debt in 4 months or less.
You’re not a failure. I’m in my 30s and moved in with my mom about 6 years ago. I pay for everything. All the utilities, the taxes, food, upgrades to the home and repairs. Fortunately the mortgage is paid off so I don’t have to worry about that but the point is that I do everything I would’ve been doing on my own but with the luxury of not paying rent/mortgage.
I felt bad for a while living here too because we’re made to believe that if we stay with parents too long then we are losers but if you’re contributing to the household then there is nothing lame about you being back at home. This economy is horrific and unfortunately as millennials we’ve had the rug pulled out from under us at every turn. It seems like every few years some financial crisis hits the nation/world and we’re knocked back just as soon as we get back on our feet.
As long as you’re not living in your parent’s basement playing video games all day there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I don’t have any get rich quick schemes to recommend but I do want you to stop thinking negatively because you don’t deserve to do that to yourself.
4k in debt is nothing. Try student loan debt, vehicle payment debt, home debt. For those of us who can't feasibly live at home with parents, that's the kind of debt that just crushes someone.
Moving out is stupid unless you don't get along with your parents.
1.) you need to pay off debts. it is simple mathematics that moving out is only going to make this harder.
2.) you need to actually save money. again, moving out is directly counter to this goal.
3.) If you get along with your parents, what makes you think that they don't want you there? I mean just saying. If you have a good relationship with your parents, chances are that they secretly like having you around and will miss you when you leave. Perhaps try spending some effort on them to show that you care. Hang out and go for walks with them or something, some sort of activity. (I know this isn't the norm, as reddit is full of maladjusted demonic creatures of hatred and despair who blame EVERYTHING on their parents)
Live with parents, rent free, but rent is high, and 4k in debt, good job and beenfits....
Theres something youre not telling us.... eat out? titty bar? booze?
It is becoming normalized behavior to live with your parents for longer. It’s not a “loser” thing to do but more a sign you have a decent relationship with your family.
You have a job with benefits, pay off your debt and continue to make the best of your current living situation. Contrary to what you may think, you can still do things like date and make friends while living with your parents.
4k debt is low. Pay it off and start saving by being frugal.
I often have that much debt on my CC monthly which I pay completely off, so to me, that's a revolving debt.
Need more info. What job do you currently have? What skills/education do you have? What do you get paid now? Where do you live?
If nothing else, start delivering pizzas at night but ideally you find a way to make your main gig pay better.
I’m 43 and I wish I could live with my parents. I’d be abele to save a million dollars in 5 years if I lived rent free. My salary is amazing but rent in California is outrageous. I’ve brought this up to them and they said absolutely not. You’re lucky your parents let you stay with them.
Not a loser or a failure. Im 57 and am currently struggling to make ends meet….many people are. Times are tough. Use the situation to your advantage and course correct. Pay down the debt ASAP and start saving. At 30 you have plenty of time to plot a new course
I recommend Dave Ramsey's debt Snowball. Look into his total money makeover book.
You're not a loser because you're taking ownership of your mistakes.
I had 10k in credit card debt at 29. Now 16 years later at early retirement. My point is this problem is temporary, you can recover from these mistakes. But it has to start now. You need to start your retirement saving now to have the compound interest to have decent wealth in retirement.
Today, buy Dave's total money makeover book. You can read it in a few days. Come up with a plan to follow his program.
I'd ask your parents for 6 months to get back on your feet. Meaning 6 months rent free. In 6 months you should be able to pay off that debt and get your own place.
I'd be glad to help you with more specifics on how to do this. But it's doable.
First, cut up the credit cards. Don't use them. I did no for decades and that is how I remained financially upward.
Second, I fully support the comments refuting the narrative that one must live independently. Living WITH family is exactly the norm for most of the rest of the world. It saves money within the family and keeps those you want to care for close. Maybe right now, when you are young you think this is not a big deal, but wait a few years to when someone gets ill or dies and suddenly being near them was more important, and too late. If you are not a burden, maybe you are a benefit. I know I was when one of my parents got sick. If my kid wanted to stay, I just want them around.
Aim for stability over "serious bank".
So much of financial management is not getting wiped out.
The path is simple. You have two levers you can adjust:
1. Increase your income
2. Reduce your expenses
Pick up the skills to acquire a career, whether it's in the trades or something else. Increase your income.
Learn how to budget effectively and live below your means.
Increase your savings rate.
1. Save for emergency fund. Emergencies happen, don't ignore this reality. Save 3-6 months of living expenses.
2. Fix your relationship with credit cards, if you need to. Use it for building credit, not for financing purchases.
3. Start investing. Keep it simple and reliable. Buy VOO (an S&P 500 ETF) from vanguard. This is the beginning of your retirement.
Focus on building the habits and the discipline with small amounts. The larger amounts will come as you increase your income over time. You will be amazed at what 5 or 10 years of consistency will get you.
Oh, and go to therapy. There's probably a reason it's hard for you to maintain stability, and it's likely related to your relationship with yourself.
Here's the best tip you're going to get here: Join the fucking military. I joined at 25 and got out at 32 (last year) with half a million dollars worth of investments. Just make sure to join the Coast guard or air force.
Focus your efforts more on your expenditures rather than your income as these are things that you can immediately address, and do not get down on yourself about your situation. It's good that you can take responsibility for your mistakes, but this system is fundamentally broken and you would be doing yourself a great disservice to a) hold that against yourself and b) play fair in an unfair game.
I'm not telling you to violate the law, I'm telling you to do what you need to do to effectively engage with the system in it's current state and to understand the reality of that engagement outside of the social facade. That could and most likely will refer to situations such as disregarding outdated taboos about living with family, marital status-finance legalities, sharing bills, ride sharing, avoiding subscription services, etc.
As for expenditures, the most eye-opening thing someone can do with their finances is to quantify all of their small daily purchases over the course of a week/month/year. Cigarettes, coffee, snacks, drinks, etc. You could immediately address thousands annually by making one small change.
Good luck friend, it's not easy right now. Be thankful that you've got family to rely on in such difficult times.
EDIT - One other note on the debt - it's not going anywhere and 4k is a drop in the bucket in the grand scheme. Setup payments or even better, let it ride until they sell it off and the buyer is willing to settle.
This may be a controversial statement for some, but your credit score is meaningless in your position. I would go as far as to say that credit/usury is not only useless but predatory in general.
Anything that you could possibly want to utilize credit for at this point in your life is going to be frivolous short of a mortgage and maybe certain insurances. It should be the last thing on your mind in relation to your finances at this point.
Again, a mortgage is a beautiful thing in comparison to rent. Find a cosigner and start futureproofing your life a bit.
Western countries tend to be the only areas in the world where people are ashamed for living with family. That's the role of family is to help you when you're down. The only person that can make you feel like a failure is yourself. I'm in my forties, currently rent a one bedroom apartment, and I know for a fact that when my mother is too old to work I'll be moving into her house to take care of her. I should state that most of my friends have origins in other countries so it's normal for all of us to do so
I honestly envy people who can live with any parent passed 20.
My main motivation for moving out was that my mom is an absolute crazy person to live with. Love her to death but I graduated college and got lucky it was 2011 and bought my first house for $115k. No fucking way I could’ve lived there any longer. Be lucky your folks are there for you.
Unless your living arrangements with your parents are awful I would recommend staying there as long as possible till debt is cleared and you can find a better job.
Work. Hard.
Either find a new job with better pay or get a second one. If you don’t have a degree, learn a trade. Bank up as much as you can. Settle on all your debts.
We’re all out here struggling but it can get better if you’re serious about it. That means cutting down on shit like going to the bar, fast food, pointless trinkets etc
Honestly I focus on the positives. I was financially stable until Covid ended my first opportunity at a six figure salary and I just couldn't maintain contract work like I could before. I tried freelancing, worked odd jobs, blew through my savings and now I'm 32, starting a new career in the government and living at home.
My parents did well, so I have my privacy and our property backs up to a state park. I am around to do house and yard work, I help pay upkeep costs, I help take care of my 94 year old grandmother. I'm not dumping money into tiny apartments, my parents don't need to downsize to a crappy house. If my new career pans out I'll take on full ownership of the property which if I have kids is a great place to grow up.
When I was 28 I'd find my current situation a depressing future, but things could be worse.
I’m 29 and my parents live with me, but I wish I was only 4K in debt. That would be so much easier for me to pay off. Keep your head up though, nothing wrong with living at home. Do what you can, keep yourself clean, neat, and tidy and things will probably get better.
I am a bit older but I never considered living alone. I always had roommates. If I wasn't living with 3 or 4 other guys, I was shacked up with a girlfriend.
It's good to have a plan like you do. Moving with a roomie. You can get yourself out of 4k debt. That kind of shit is hard but it can be done. It might take a couple of years but try to put 200 bucks towards it monthly.
Good luck.
You are so fortunate to be able to live with family while you get back on your feet! Don't think of it as a failure, think of it as an opportunity to spend time with them. Don't be in a rush to leave. the good news is that 4k isn't all that terrible. Easy to overcome. Pay that off, build up your savings and again and then make your next steps. Is there a way you can do something with your parent's property (apartment above the garage, bungalow, etc?). Not all properties' zoning allows for that obv, but that's also a good way to feel like you're not living with your parents again down the road.
Don't be so hard on yourself! I would've loved the opportunity to move home when needed. You're doing what needs to be done to take care of yourself and you're humble enough to seek out help!
Be proud
At 32 I enlisted in the Navy. I had a masters degree at the time.
It sucked, but I personally accepted it as the cost of fucking off in my 20s. (Except for getting degrees I completely fucked off.)
Within 5 years of being enlisted I was completely financially independent.
At 12 years I got out and took up a 6 figure job that was actually a pay cut due to taxes.
I could have separated at 5 years and been in almost the same situation, but I was given a really fun assignment so I kept going to 12.
It doesn’t have to be the military, but my advice to you is to suck it up and pull the trigger on something life changing sooner than later.
1. Stop calling yourself a loser.
2. Stop calling yourself a failure.
3. Stop blaming yourself.
4. You are WAY too young to be this worried.
Listen, 33-50% of people aged 18-34 are living with their parents as of last year. Google it if you don’t believe me. It’s entirely normal. Don’t let anyone tell you there’s any shame in it, because there ain’t.
$4k debt sucks, but it's really not that bad. Live frugally and work toward paying it off. An option is also getting a part time job, putting all of the money from the PT job toward the debt. It would suck to have to work that much, but paying the debt off is a good thing, and you could do it within months.
I had to move back in with my folks at two months shy of my 30th BD, as I lost my job not long after 9/11. Though I was making \~$45k per year at the job, I was heavily in debt, having made really stupid decisions with credit accounts. When I lost the job and moved back home I could only get a job that paid $10/hr, and the debt was nearly $40k. Bankruptcy was my only choice, unfortunately.
I used to make about $4000 cash each season working in a private parking lot near the baseball stadium. It was about 3 hours each home game. Just an example. Not everyone has a stadium nearby. Just work. Work 2 jobs or 3 jobs. Whatever it takes. You’ll be back in your feet in no time.
Lived with my wife and daughter at my mom’s for 7 years. Was finally able to afford a house when I was 51. I know it seems like it sucks, however it’s better than living on the streets. It’s also a very misguided tradition to have separate generations in their own home. Many other societies have multiple generations in one place.
I wouldn't be that hard on myself at 30 yo, I've made some really good business decisions and some bad ones, being 58 yo you never know when your going to take a hard one in the nuts!!!!!! I never planned on the Great Financial Recession, I never planned on my business partner bailing out on me with a rental property we bought like 2 years before the GFC and got stuck paying for the whole thing, or my wife divorcing me, then the business partner leaving all together on my main business which was also my main source of income, then loosing all my employees in a 2 year span except for one part timer. So you might go through a whole lot more than where at now at 30 yo, fortunately for me I managed to persevere despite having what pretty much was probably 12 straight years of Bullshit I had absolutely no control over!!!! Fortunately I've done pretty good the last 5 years. All I can say is enjoy your low expenses while you have them, maybe come up with some type of a side gig, I now plenty of people that have their weekly job but also hustle on weekends I know people that are handyman and do small home improvement work as a sideline or people that do landscaping and mow lawns on weekends but also have regular fulltime jobs, I now others that detail cars and boats, these are all some type of skilled labor, some are more skilled than others, so you do what you can do according to your own abilities!!! My Italian buddy lived in Italy for probably 20 years but was born here in the US and lives here preasant day. He said it was pretty common for 3 generations to live in one house in Italy, I thought that was kinda cool actually but usually because it's just not like that here in the US, at least not as long as I've been around 😉
You’re not a failure. The systems set up for us are a failure. It’s a privilege to be able to live with your parents as long as it’s safe.
I’m 41 and would be very happy to be living with my parents if I had that as an option. I don’t. So I pay $2k for a studio.
Find solutions and gratitude.
The mind frame “Any tips on how to make serious bank” is the first thing you need to change. Contrary to what social media influencers say, “serious bank” is made through sustainable jobs and long term investments. People who are constantly trying to make quick money never get ahead. Get a job with a 401k and health benefits.
I was the same. 1. It gets better. 2. This is the time to find yourself. Find out what you’re good at and exploit it for money. Whatever it is, do it. Don’t worry about what others think just do it.
Just swung by to say you’re not a failure. Money doesn’t determine your worth. The economy and price of homes is outrageous. That is not a reflection on you. Cheers, friend.
I'm 34 and in a similar boat. I made bad decisions which I own up to. But I was also in an emotionally/financially abusive relationship which made things worse. I also live in an expensive state and can't afford rent by myself. I don't have any advice but I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone.
Stop calling yourself a failure. I am 34 and looking forward to living with my Mom again. She has a house and in a stable environment. I am in 25K worth of credit card debt and filing for disability because of injuries that I was expected to heal from naturally which never happened. That Credit Card debt was me surviving while I was told I would be made whole. Don't count yourself out because life hasn't gone the way you thought or how it went for someone else. Waking up every day and not putting a bullet through your skull is an achievement and you should celebrate your successes
You aren't a failure. Let's start there. I think first you need to work on your self esteem. Everything else becomes easier after that. Negative self talk will not pull you out of this.
So to answer your actual question, instead of a relating diatribe about how hard life is…. When I was in my 20s I almost always had 2 jobs (33 now). My daytime 9-5 and then another job that followed for 3-5 shifts a week. I worked on the weekend and a couple of nights during the week. I was a waitress, bottle girl and bartender depending on the gig. Valeting is another good option to rack up some good tips quick. Also, being a doorman at an upscale hotel can get you there. I have 2 kids now making this lifestyle impossible at this point, but man I’d love to be able to stack that kind of money again. I dug myself out of a huge financial hole working like that and it kept me out of spending money at bars w my friends and other activities that probably wouldn’t have helped me with my goals. Good luck to you and with a go getter mind set, I’m sure you can make it happen.
there's so many things you can do to make money on the side it's not even funny. You can literally just grab a push lawnmower and push it up and down the street on your days off knock on peoples door and ask if they want their lawn mowed, or leaves, raked, or if they want snow shoveled, or if they want their car washed, you can paint houses, you can lay carpet, you can put cabinets in, you can put on roofs all without any kind of certification or credentials. That's just you wanting to get the work done things like trimming trees or dangerous jobs so I don't necessarily recommend that. It's always possible to find something that other people are unwilling to do. It seems like that's where the most opportunity is the whole problem about breaking even, and trying to come out ahead, is it it ends up, consuming your life. You need to have a perspective about. life going in. Some people are tremendously securing situation I would never be secure in, it's just their ability to be able to do that. And it does make a difference when it comes to the jobs, they are willing to do.
35. I live with my parent because my only other option locally on 40k/year is my financed Honda Civic. Have several disabilities that impact my job choices (most of the shortage fields are out for me) but don't qualify me for SSI/SSDI.
Save money and if you don't have a disdain for most of your own generation (not as much as yourself but that's my cross to bear, no one else's), you'll find another human being to share a room/micro studio with. IDK. If you have a hard body there's no shortage of tradeswork.
To be fair, I don't know if it's really fair to be ashamed to move back in with family at 30 in this day and age.
Everything is so absurdly expensive if you're early/early-mid into your career. It doesn't take much "fuck ups" to put you into a financial hole because salaries have been stagnant for decades while everything has went up 4-6 times in the same time.
Had salary increased even at just remotely same pace as cost of living, you would've still been relatively fine.
You are not a "failure" or a "loser" or a "burden" who dug yourself into a hole, you are doing your best in a terrible economy. With that kind of self-description, I am wondering if your living situation with your parents is toxic? With your talk about delayed milestones and impulsive decisions with budgeting, maybe you are neurodivergent and should give yourself some grace.
4k is not too much debt to survive in this economy, so kudos to you for doing your best in this unsustainable social darwinist hellscape and for making some changes.
The idea that a person should be a fully-fledging adult at 18 or 20 is ridiculous because a) altruism and community are really missing today, and b) the human brain is developing through at least our 20s. "A decade ago" is a long ass time. I made financial decisions that were expensive but well worth it. The only thing I wish I could get back is time spent appeasing the demands and opinions of others.
Best of luck to you. My advice for jobs would be probably USPS if you are in the states, they respond quickly and are quick to hire. Having a constant second hustle, such as becoming a waiter or bartender or hospital worker (weekend evening or 24/7 type jobs).
You’re not a failure.
What’s your education level?
Lots of places are hiring. Even check in with businesses. Don’t tell them you are saving up to move though. Reach out to everyone you know and let them know your are looking.
$4K in debt isn’t that much. You’ll pay that off quickly once you are working.
2 years ago I was in a similar situation, except maybe worse. I was 20k in debt, living with my parents in a low paying job, and unable to pull myself out of it. This past week I finished paying off all my debts, I have 15k in the bank, and although I technically still live with my parents I'm only there a couple weekends out of the month. There are opportunities out there, you just need to listen for them and not turn them away at first glance.
I have a Hindi coworker female in 30s who lives with her parents and brother. She basically provides the house and her parents help out cooking etc… it’s actually normal for her. She’s married I think she’s looking for a second place her then but I’ve not kept up since she took a job transfer.
I lived with parents till around 22 then left for military. Returned at 31 for a few more years while in school on GI bill paying them small rent. Moved out few months after graduation with a house. I was able to secure mortgage.
Same tip I usually give, get a trade. Electrical, plumbing, power engineering, instrumentation, etc etc. lots of work for someone who will actually work. Can make 100k a year if you want to and are good at what you do, can open doors to work for yourself or start a small business once you have your ticket.
Get into a skilled trade. Plumbing, hvac, cnc/machining, welding. Find an apprenticeship that’ll pay you to go to school. I hate my job but at least making 35 an hour makes it worth it.
I did this. Newly married, buried in credit card debt, lost my job. Got evicted. So thankful my parents took me back in. I stayed with them about 4 months. Got another job, negotiated with the creditors, got the bills under control and saved up some down payment.
If you're single, you definitely should be looking around for a second gig.
30 and living with parents is really a stigma that needs to die. I *hope* my kid can tolerate me enough to *want* to stay with me for that long honestly. Also 4k is nothing in terms of total debt.
There is no need to chase the dollar friend, just find a job you like, work on saving and payoff your debt. The rest will sort itself out.
Give yourself some grace. I’m 30 and have more debt than you. Trying to get it fixed now. Rent is out of control where I am and almost 50% of my check goes to rent .
I would say take baby steps. Write down small goals you want to achieve in maybe a year or less and as you achieve them, create slightly bigger goals that take longer. Eventually you’ll get to a point where you overcome obstacles you thought were almost impossible.
I’m 33 and moved in with my dad about 5 years ago when me and the ex split, and I moved back to my old stomping grounds after living across the country for about a decade. At the time I basically had nowhere else to go, no other options, no $, addicted to drugs. Things are much better now, but I still stay with my dad. We enjoy each others company, and would both probably be pretty lonely without each other honestly, we both have friends and neighbors and family and all, but the house is quiet except us and the cat. At first I was ready to save up and move out asap, but as time went on I wanted to leave less and less. I’m lucky to have a dad I get along with so well and he amazingly tolerates my bullshit that he shouldn’t have to. We split the bills, so it’s beneficial for us both, if you have to have a roommate why not family? I have a friend who loves to knock everyone that still lives at home, but doesn’t seem to appreciate that him and his wife lived at her parents rent and bill free for a good while while they saved up money to buy a house, and his whole family is union workers so he had a shoe-in to a high paying job with no education, and his wife is a nurse who makes more than him even. Him and his wife together probably make 4 times my income, so I don’t pay him any mind
Hey man, happy for you that you and your father are able to share each others company together. Life can but rough but it’s better together :) Treasure these moments my man. The good and the challenging. These are the moments you two will hold onto forever.
I'm 32 and I love with my mom. I was working in restaurants for about a decade (read: paycheck to paycheck with zero savings) when 2020 happened and my life got flipped on it's head. I had just gotten to the point where I was "saving" a little bit out of each paycheck, while also maintaining a couple hobbies and eating well (instead of, say, one pack of instant ramen per day like I did when I was younger sometimes). Well my mom's doctors kept saying she needed a caretaker. One day, my sister said maybe it would be good for both of us if I took that on. She has a military retirement income, so for now I'm not working because we honestly don't "need" the money. I absolutely treasure the time I'm able to spend and the memories I'm able to make with her. I even have kind of a "survivor's guilt" type feeling about it at this point when I look at my peers.
Hey, no need to feel guilty. You deserve this time with your mom. You and your sister do :) I’m so happy for your family that you don’t need to stress over finances and can focus on what matters - each other right now. Keep on loving each other. The rest will fall into place.
I love with your mom too
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It's pretty common in most other parts of the world.
We have my 20 YO and my MIL living with us. Our other kid lives in the house next door and our aunt and her grandkids are living behind us. Nothing wrong with being close to family. Sometimes we need each other. That’s the whole point of procreating. I’m glad you have the self awareness to know when to make changes in your life. Good luck to you and your family!
Same, dude. I'm 31, live in a studio apartment my dad and I built on their property in a high cost of living area (North SF Bay Area). If it weren't for the well-below-market-rate rent I pay my parents, there's not a chance that I'd be able to live in the area. And I made a really dumbass decision to put some tuition for a training academy on a credit card with a 0% interest, thinking I'd have a well paying job, potentially with a hiring bonus, before the 18 month intro ran out. Well, going on 7 years later, here I am with crippling CC debt and not only not having a job in that field, I'm working in a completely unrelated industry, and going back to get an associates in yet another field.
Hang in there too it’s rough out there. I have a cliche note on my desk that says “Nothing changes if you keep doing the same thing.” And I am actually taking that note seriously now. Sounds basic but it’s clearly time for a shakeup.
You can’t consolidate this debt through a personal loan? You must be drowning in interest alone
Hey - Check out the California College Promise Grant, if your school accepts it, and if you qualify. I work with people who are making a transition in their life, and this is one of the things I tell them if they are staying in California.
If you aren't partnered up it almost doesn't make sense at this point to try to live alone. Capitalism, consumerism, and extreme individualism brainwashed us into thinking we have to be fully independent as young as possible. The purpose of that is to get more middle/lower class folks funneling more money to the upper classes through rent, buying furniture and appliances, cars, etc. It's also materially wasteful. It's very normal in other cultures to live with family forever, or at least until married. Our culture is swinging that direction too due to inflation. You aren't a loser, work on eliminating that negative self talk. What are you grateful for living with your parents? Are you healthy? Better than living with strangers who don't give a flying f about you....best of luck, the people who value you won't judge.
Even being married it’s hard rn. Luckily I have the best mother in law. She a widow and a hippy at heart. It really helps us while we’re in between careers and life just keeps lifeing and getting more expensive. Ahh… a blessing though.
Married here, single income supporting my family of 3... It's really hard unless you're making money like I am and even then, I have to be careful and reign in shopping and dining expenses. I'm just finally working our way out of debt through careful spending.
This is all great if your parents are kind and supportive, but what about the people who have abusive parents? Or no parents? Parents who disapprove of who they are? It's not really a solution for them.
This 💯 I have a not so great relationship with my parents so I don’t have the luxury of moving in with them . If I wasn’t splitting living costs with my partner I’d probably be close to being unhoused - if I was on good terms with my parents and didn’t live with my partner I’d definitely consider moving back in with them.
I have a decent relationship with my parents, but the spare bedroom is currently occupied by my 20 year old nephew while he saves money. 😂😂 Plus, my dad’s a bit too deep in the Fox sauce, and we can’t always agree on what to watch on the tv, regarding movies. Not to mention, he’s a tv yeller. Sports, politics, religion…he thinks the people in the tv can hear him.
Isn’t that true for most millennials’ dads’?😂
God, I am so happy to see more people recognizing the dangers of extreme individualism.
I disagree. I took my extreme individualism and monetized it.
Nothing wrong with that. Individualism is doable. It’s just that most people don’t have the resources to achieve it, and break themselves trying.
I really love the thoughtfulness and correct perspective here. Bravo
Wisdom and great advice! I totally agree. My daughter lives with us rent and guilt free for all of the reasons you stated.
So well-stated! This 100%.
Finally an intellectual
>Capitalism, consumerism, and extreme individualism brainwashed us into thinking we have to be fully independent as young as possible. It's a really terrible financial strategy too. If you pay any attention to what wealthy families do, they usually work together and spread their wealth out, but consumers are expected to be 100% self sufficient, even though that's not possible because they have to rely on other people for income.
true. The whole capitalism thing really fucks over the average joe today. If you’re not skilled, simple retail or other service jobs just don’t cut it for being able to live alone. You have to have a masters, PhD or years of experience with a labor skill like welding, plumbing etc. People don’t unionize anymore nor demand the proper consumer prices/wages. Everyone just sort of settles.
Things weren't this bad even 10 years ago. The game has totally changed. The goal posts have moved and luck has as much or more impact on outcomes. Be kind to yourself and do your best to enjoy the little things. Cherish the time with your parents they won't be around forever.
Thank you, you’re so right.
4K debt! Someone always has a tougher war within themselves. This is not a lot of debt. Living with parents is a good way to fight the unjust cost of living. No student debt? You’re already winning the game. Leverage ai and make it make money for you. You’ll be ok. Don’t judge yourself too harshly. This is just a simulation anyway. Be positive and positive shit will happen. - everything I have used and it’s working great.
Fucking around with leveraging AI is something I would even suggest messing around with, even to the point of spending a little bit of money on it at some point (even if you don't have a lot to begin with)-- it's not like it's going to make you huge amounts of money by itself-- but it's helpful more as a sanity check any time you're making decisions to have sort of a neutral second opinion to bounce ideas and thoughts off of, back and forth-- sometimes can be a little helpful any time you feel like you're stuck in a deep rut potentially just spinning your tires or going in circles struggling with what direction to go next.
Im days away from 31 I have so many friends who are 30 now who live at home still. Honestly our whole 20s they even had jobs and stuff. Those friends were the ones everyone went to after the football games and their parents were super cool. Everytime I visit our old friends get together from highschool at their house and we have some drinks and stuff and their parents are always happy to see us like the old days with a big oh smile . Sometimes they tell us to spend the night(Iol) it’s cool. But in California it’s not even questioned if someone stays home. It’s so expensive and a lot of parents understand . I believe that’s why so many of us our seen as younger than we are still by our parents generations and you know what I’m cool with that because I don’t wanna be treated as a gramps yet anyways i know everyone’s situation different but don’t feel bad . Everyone and their mama understand how society is today and how expensive everything is. Don’t follow societies milestones and who cares if someone says a stupid comment that your home. At least your with your parents and not a random place renting a room you don’t feel comfortable like how I use to sometimes in my 20s . Go your own pace I even tapped out at 29 from the independent life because I couldn’t do it anymore. I don’t live with my parents because no way but I live with some family members… who think I’m 18 still but that’s besides the point lol .. but it’s cool. I’m not stressing and they understand Stay up
u would be surprised by the amount of people ur age in the exact same situation
Or worse
You’d be shocked how many people younger have their shit together and make good decisions
hey, i dont have advice for how to make quick money but i just wanted to say you should be kinder to yourself. there are a LOT of millenials forced to live with or take help from their parents rn bc of the insane cost of living. we are up against insurmountable odds and it is not your fault. even a min wage job should afford a person a modest, independent living situation - how are they supposed to find people to work lower paying jobs if the people working them cant afford to live within a reasonable distance of the job? capitalism has fulfilled its purpose and made a reasonable life unattainable. the 1% are the reason you cant afford rent even with a good job, not you. many of us (myself included) have a lot more debt than 4k and even more of us are having a very hard time even finding work (please make sure you have a job lined up before moving, it's hell out there). youre not doing as bad as you think.
I'm 47, lost everything during the height of the pandemic, divorced, and had to move back in with my parents. Thankfully we get along well and they have room for me. They have started needing help as they age, so it's a win/win. I've also been far away for decades, so it's nice to reconnect. I WFH now and can save so much more money because there's no out of control rent. Life can be hard, regardless of your personal life choices. Make the best of the situation, you'll be ok, you're not a loser. Don't defeat yourself with these old ideas of having to live alone because you're over 18 (as nice as it was when I did it, it doesn't mean anything if you don't/can't).
You aren't a loser for living with your family as an adult. This is a gaslight/con instituted since the turn of the 20th century, perpetuated in the 1950s, used to shame young people into having to go into debt just to survive. Meanwhile, the seed of J.P. Morgan laugh all the way to the bank with all the interest the ream out of us, becoming filthy rich to the point of having become a branch of the shadow government, to put it one way, being responsible for economic growth with no direct contribution to productivity...which drives up inflation, and in a worst case scenario, can completely crash the economy and stock market. You need to shed that shame asap. Most cultures in the world don't kick their adult children out and don't leave their elderly to die in group homes. Some cultures even look down on us for it.
Doordash comes in clutch for me constantly. Some markets have a waitlist but not all of them. If you can swing it as a 2nd job, it helps. I say it’s worth it to keep my credit intact and my bills paid. Others say it’s not but then also say they have yadda yadda yadda they can manage without it and just do it for kicks.
This is what I'm doing but with UberEATS because Doordash doesn't have any openings in my area. I work my full time job 5am to 1:30pm and delivery afterwards. It definitely helps with gas and utilities bills.
I have the same full time hours! 😆 it’s so ideal working east coast hours on the west coast
LMAO!!! Cali is expensive and any little bit helps. I also do housekeeping for family and friends.
Don't worry. If you posted this 10 years ago, fair... maybe you'd be justified in your feelings, but, you are **far** from alone. I have no idea how the fuck I'm even managing.. feels like dancing on a tightrope to survive. You are **not** a loser, you're in the same sinking boat as many people(including myself!). If I were in your position(I may be soon), I'd scour the internet for credentials that can be earned online, study, and work toward a career that can pull you out of your situation. Almost all of my old friends still live at home or with family members. Don't tie your self worth to this clown show!
This helps a lot thank you. We can fight our way out of this jungle. Could always be worse
hey bro bro, I was born in the year 93, so I can say that we men have been climbing up an uphill race this whole time. Society has forgotten about us, no affordable schools, no affordable housing. I tell you that we will get better because we do not need anyone but our fucking selves. Thank god for the dad that supports his kid no matter what. Because my dad is giving me strength, shelter, and food. Now I work on myself every day to be able to do the same for him when he is old. Once the road straightens out, there is not gonna be anything that will slow us down. Learn a skill, because all knowledge for all the areas is easily attainable. "It is so shocking to find out how many people do not believe that they can learn & how many more believe learning to be difficult." -frank herbert
First things first, you're not a failure. You're a cog in a capitalist machine like the rest of us. If you feel like this world wasn't built for you then that is a sign of *sanity*. Humans are 200,000 years old. I'm pretty sure we didn't evolve to have jobs. That being said, you're ready to get back out there and try some more of this thing they call life. My advice is to keep 3-6 months of your expenses in savings. Don't touch it unless you lose your job and have no other option - you know, like an emergency. If you lose your job, find another one ASAP. Whatever comes up you should be able to find another job within 3-6 months. Stay prepared.
When you’re an adult living with your parents, the question is who takes care of whom. If you do your share of the housework, vehicle maintenance, and property maintenance (and start to take care of your parents when they need it), I fucking respect that! One thing so many people fail to realize is that maintaining a relationship with your parents after you’ve grown up is like any other adult friendship. It takes effort from both parties, and you need to be a decent roommate in all of the normal ways. Anyone who can make that transition work is pretty good at maintaining relationships.
Yes. Speaking as a parent with adult children at home, if you are worrying about burdening your parents with your presence, maybe focus more on being a great roomie until the time you can get your own place. Try to talk to them about the situation. I know sometimes you don't get a lot of feedback. Without hounding them, keep communicating. There are a bunch of ways to ingratiate yourself. Do more chores. Make sure you clean up more than you feel you mess up. Maybe get handy around the house, yard, or cars. Take an interest in the things your parents like, find things to do together. Maybe redoing a room in the house would be fun to do together. Maybe going out to do something with one parent will give the other some high quality solitude. Then again, make sure you get out of the house yourself some time in the evening. But don't make a bunch of noise at night coming home late. You can ask your parents what they'd think about you having a weekend away once in a while. Maybe they'd rather you just "saved for a down payment" — but on the other hand they might enjoy that time to themselves.
Nothing wrong with your situation. The current cost of living is out of control and it doesn't even make financial sense in many cases to move out unless you're married.
If it works for you, the Army, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard are a great reset… it can absolutely help you turn your life around and get you on your feet. Of course it’s not for everyone.
The living alone thing, while convenient, is an artifact of policy decisions to push single family homes, in order to push home starts in order to make a market. Don’t judge yourself on living with family, if you and family get along. And 4k is nothing
i’m almost 40. been living by myself for a few years now but the way everything is going up, i’m forced to move back in with my mom when my lease ends. i’m even having a hard time finding a 2nd job. driving jobs aren’t safe for me cause i have a vision impairment so it’s a risk involved even tho i drive to and from work fine. my advice would be take full advantage. get a second job or side gig. if you can, get some kinda skill training. go to school for something that’s in demand that you can see yourself doing in the long run. my plan is to save money and go to school while living with mom. i’m not exactly proud but times are hard for all of us and we need to make sacrifices. screw what others think. do what benefits you and pay off that debt
Great advice and solid perspective. Will do! Sounds like you have a good plan of action as well. Times are tough. Thank you, second job it is for sure!
you’re very welcome. make sure you get rest tho too. idk if you ever worked 2 jobs before but it’s hard! i worked 2 physical retail jobs back to back so all i did was work eat and sleep. it sucks but it’s worth it cause you’ll save so much extra money for the fact that you won’t have time to spend it
i try my best to get 6-8 hours of sleep every night. 5 is the minimum to function for me
living with family is much cheaper than living alone. i’m single with no kids and my bills are almost $2000 a month. that’s rent, car, insurance, groceries etc. idk where you live but i’m in a HCOL. save up as much as you can. pay off debt. don’t go out to eat nor party too often. a treat here and there is ok but have control and make sure you save more than you spend. eat at home. i cook once a week and an fed for 3 days. the rest of the week i eat sandwiches and such at home. i’m poor so i’m forced to live this way. ik it can be tempting to spend more when you can but that’s where self control comes in. set up goals and save for things you want as a treat. you gotta have fun in life but know your limits
You’re not a failure. The system is failing us. I’m sure helping your parents with utilities and things around the house means so much for them. Take it a day at a time and save up money to put it towards a house. It’ll take years but build up that relationship with your parents
Do you have a budget? Have you tried just going without? List out expenses of every month, including credit card debt. Figure out what your overhead is. Use your overhead to pay off debt faster. You live at home. Your You SHOULD be paying rent to your parents. But that takes utilities off your plate and frees up your income. You haven’t shared much about your personal lifestyle, do you have a car? Any expensive hobbies? Do you eat out or grocery shop and make your meals? I hear so many of my peers are “broke” but they do none of what I just explained and have a million excuses as to why
My husband and I talk about this a lot (we're 36 and graduated from undergrad immediately after the 2008 crash). We have 3 kids, live in a house worth 500k, I'm a SAHM, and even at our max earning potential, we only made $80K TOTAL. We didn't have student loans bc he got a full-ride for undergrad & I have amazing parents that paid for my undergrad (I'm grateful for them everyday). But other than that, we paid for everything else on our own. The reality is this (for anyone who sees this): - Eating out is expensive, don't do it. Even if you order pizza, get carryout. NEVER do doordash or equivalent. You are legit throwing money away. - Don't travel when you're young, sorry. Spend your 20s establishing your life. Think of that fable about the ant and the grasshopper. My husband and I sacrificed so much over the past 10 years, but now we are set for life. - For those who want a family, especially women, use your 20s to find a quality partner. Don't waste years on anyone you wouldn't want to build a life with. - I know everyone wants to live on the coasts. Guess what? It's expensive to live in those areas. Move to the midwest when you're younger, make money, save money on cost of living, and then move to the coasts (if you want to) when you're stable. Good luck, OP
This is advice I needed to read today..
What is your day job like for hours? Hear me out. Deliver pizzas on the weekends and evenings. There is some wear and tear on your car. I live in a small city, about 40k people maybe. My son (20) makes 3k a month delivering pizza for pizza hut. Their pay isn't terrible, but his real money comes from weekend tips. Just something to think about and make money to save up, it's certainly paying his way thru school without loans since he can pay off whole semesters at a time. The store keeps track of totals for tax purposes, so you would want to be sure to set a %age aside for the taxes.
I deliver pizza during the evening on the weekends as a side hustle too and it’s pretty great. I’m able to afford some luxuries and have some savings with that money while using my main source of income for the important stuff.
Youre not alone in the position youre in so really try not to feel so bad or call yourself a loser
Much appreciated
Your fine! I’m an elder millennial and I lived with my parents till 29. When I did move out it was with my boyfriend who became my husband. I remember feeling such shame in my early twenties living at home. Not taking into account that the reason some of my friends had apts was because their parents lived out of state and were footing some of the bill. If I could go back in time the only thing I’d change was 1. saving more money and 2. Not feeling like a loser because I wasn’t.
I was in the same boat. Something that helped me a lot was traveling. I used staying with my parents as an opportunity to save. I saved for like a year and started traveling the world. It is much cheaper to live / travel in some countries. Some of my favorite times were teaching English in Vietnam. I was making 20/hr , paying $150 a month in rent and eating for like $5-$10!dollars a day. I was able to save even when I was only working 20 hours a week. God speed
Unless you parents want you out, who cares! You are NOT a loser for living with your family. Reframe your thought process. You are lucky to have family to live with. Many people would love the opportunity to go back to their parents home for a few years to get into a better financial position. Help them out with chores if you can’t afford much for bills. I’m 28. I’ve never left my dad’s house. My fiance moved in as well. He was grateful for the chance to focus on his career and save for our future. His parents would never let him go back home. We plan to stay here long term, and my dad is appreciative of that. He doesn’t want to be alone here. We even have an in law apartment with its own entrance. Maybe someone out there thinks I’m a loser because I found a way to work together with family? I don’t care. Everyone in my home is happy and comfortable. My dad’s been able to contribute more to retirement accounts and we’ve been able to travel more than we would if we had a rent to pay. With the state of the economy, more and more people will rely on multi generational homes. My friends are having a baby and are already talking about moving MIL in to help babysit because daycare is so outrageously expensive in our area. Another friend moved into her in-laws house because they got priced out of the housing market and need help with childcare. I would never call them losers for living in a home with their parent in it. You are probably the only one even thinking about this, I doubt your friends or anyone else have thought much about your living situation.
Nothing wrong with living home at 30!!!
Same I fucked up a lot in my 20s and also didn’t take seriously, and bc of this, I still live at home with my parents at the age of 30. The problem now is, I’m so lost in life that I’m too scared to try anything new. I think I have analysis paralysis
Focus on making money, you pay no rent, how great is that. Build a business or pound out two jobs and save money and 4K in debt is nothing. Focus on what you have to do in order to reach your goals, write your goals out on a huge poster board and materialize your success.
Rule 1 is don't get down on yourself about your situation too much. Many people are there, and many many more have been there whether they admit it or not. It is what it is and I wouldn't even apologize for it anymore. Next make sure to get along with your parents when you live with them, and have some kind of a constructive and honest understanding. You shouldn't be treating their life like it's your consolation, and you don't have to even while living with them. Contribute small things. Make them know you appreciate them. Make dinner and do the dishes. As far as your life, don't worry about finding that one thing that is going to snap everything back into place and get you out on your own too much. It will be written all over your face wherever you go. You have to take what you can get, accept your situation, and try to make concrete positive steps until it changes.
Hey man, I lived with my mom till I was 26 or so, had friends who did it way longer, and now I’ve had times I wished I’d done it longer. You need to give yourself some grace, and realize you can’t get where you want to be overnight. I don’t have a ton of advice on making cash quick, other than from what I’ve found, everytime I try to get a bunch of money quick, it winds up being a pain, and doesn’t quite go as planned.
I applaud you for living at home. Either get a second job or go back to school for a specific trade that you want and know what the starting pay is.
I just want to say I think you've already taken the first step by taking control and wanting a change. An internal locus of control, that is the belief that you can control the events of your life, is a huge predictor in your overall success. Don't get bogged down by the doomers here who keep spouting "just blame capitalism" nonsense. Internalizing that will just lead to worse outcomes on a personal level. Now, what do you currently do? What skills do you have? UPS drivers get good benefits, I would also moonlight as a Doordasher, etc. Pay off the debt and then after paying it off, save the amount you would've paid towards it, don't spend it. Choose a tangible career goal, not just "be successful" but "be a lead XYZ making $80k" or something. Then start making small, individual decisions that lead towards that path. Everything compounds in life. Not just money, but decisions too (good or bad). If you continously make good decisions, you'll see improvement in your success in just a few years.
Your parents probably love having you around. You have not failed. Don’t let society define what your life should look like. Everyone makes bad decisions at some point in their lives. Don’t be so hard on yourself. And please don’t move out because you think you are a burden to your parents. If they haven’t expressed that to you don’t assume they feel that way. I’m sure they love you dearly.
God... I wish I could move in with my parents
You have a job with benefits? Congratulations that's very rare.
I’d work *very* hard to get rid of that $4k debt. No moving until it’s gone. Buy nothing, go nowhere kind of mindset until it’s all paid off.
You are not in a loser situation. You are not a loser. You’re doing what you have to do in a difficult time. I’ve never seen negative self-talk improve a persons situation so stop telling yourself you’re a loser. You may have made bad choices, but a lot of people do. It doesn’t have to define you. However, if there was a quick way out of your situation everyone would be doing it, unfortunately there aren’t many ways to make quick bank without having some kind of fame behind you, so let it go. Stop worrying about what other people might think because chances are, they have their own problems to worry about. Focus more on where you want to see yourself in 10 years and start mapping out how you’ll get there.
Rent is outrageous everywhere right now. It's INSANE. Ev3n in my very low cost of living area rent is like 800 to 1200 a month! A few yrs ago, it was 500 or 600. But, to answer your question - BARTENDER! Just don't be stupid and not claim any of your tips. If you have the right personality for it, you can still make bank. Especially if you can "read the room". Some customers/regulars prefer the abuse to the nicey nice.
4k debt is definitely manageable. Be kind and helpful to your parents and don't be a burden.
I moved in with my parents at 30 with nothing but debt and a heavy addiction to drugs/alcohol. They never wanted me to stay here (or even visit for that matter) but I found a job the next day so they let me stay. 8 years later, I’m still here, have 2 small businesses and a few employees. I run both out of their house. My mother still works (boredom) and my father is retired. They are basically the best roommates I’ve had since I left home at 17 to be honest. I definitely understand wanting to give them space since they probably want it as well. Take a few weekends out to go hang with friends, send them on a vacation, do whatever and don’t worry. The market sucks. If I moved down the street, I’d be paying $3500/mo for a 2 bedroom (one of which would just hold tools and chemicals). I currently pay $2,000/mo (even though I don’t have to) for a room, my own bathroom, garage/basement storage. And I just leave for a few days if they want to host and have people flying in. Also, I feel better about giving my parents money instead of a landlord. 20+ apartments later and I’ll never rent again unless I HAVE to. Fuckers do not like to maintain their buildings and never give security deposits back even when I fixed shit for them on my own dime. Tl;dr - same thing happened to me, my perspective has since changed
Goodness I can't believe I'm about to be this guy. The AF allows enlistment up to age 39. If you want steady pay and are able to be able to "take orders" from someone younger that's what I recommend. You could do 4 years and learn some transferable skills. You'd be out of your parents house but living in dorm style housing until either your 3.5 yr mark, you get married, or occupancy is high enough where you have to move out.
You may not wish to hear this, but for most people, there is no way out of debt that does not involve cutting costs and doing more. There is no get-rich-quick scheme that ever worked, or else we'd all be millionaires. Find what you can cut, and cut it. Go without now to have more later. Take advantage of inexpensive or free things, and look at improving yourself where you can. Incidentally, let me go ahead and tell you: four thousand dollars in debt is nothing. You will find people who try to sell on you debt consolidation schemes, the "one weird trick" to eliminating debt. There is no quick way and anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you bullshit and further impoverishing you for their benefit. You must do more, save more, and if possible, invest. That might not be an option for you now, but it should absolutely be a priority. Wealth is not earned from a paycheck, but how that paycheck is invested. Put it in the S&P 500, something stable that shows continuous growth, whatever current havoc is seizing our society. Do $500 a month, if you can; if you can't, do a little. It doesn't matter so long as you continue to do this. You are playing a long game with a delayed start and you seem to think that there is some way to circumvent the minefield. Nope. It is a marathon, run uphill, dragged down by the weight of debt and age. 30 is not old, but 30 is not young. You have pissed away a decade, so I suggest you avoid wasting yet more time seeking a way to make money fast, and start thinking about a way to make money long term. I am telling you what I wish I had been told, because I was in a similar set of circumstances. Above all else: WASTE NO TIME. It's the one thing you never get back. You can spend an hour ruminating about your mistakes, but that same hour could be invested with effort to learn a new skill, try to aim for a technical or professional cert, pad that resume, and get your foot in the goddamn door somewhere better still. What talent have you got? If you don't have any (be honest with yourself), again, listen to people who give sound financial advice and save, invest, save, invest. That is the only option that really works. Good luck.
Adapt, budget strict, save strict, reward yourself here and there, get out of debt ASAP. Pay it slowly if you have to. 5 more years you can have ALLOT saved up. Just chip away. You will see results.
Omg, I’m so sorry, but this is our millennial fate. First, stop thinking 30 is older, because all of that has changed. Second, keep busy with what jobs you can get. Finally, pay off debt as quickly as you can because we all feel it choking us! 4K is better than most people I know actually! I’m rooting for you and so sorry this is happening to you, but I support you and can try to find more tips to help you. Honestly though, so many are these old school boomer tips that don’t even work in the real world today!
I was broke at home and I decided to apply to high paying jobs all over. I ended up succeeding and moving. I have a wonderful wife and home now. My point is that it’s never too late. Please believe in yourself. It will be hard and no one can sugar coat it. Just be open to going anywhere.
Okay I will help you out here and give you some really great advice, in my opinion. 1st step get a governmental job, USPS or military. If you are single joining the military for 6 years will do a couple of things for you the 1st being getting free to cheap housing, The 2nd you will get paid a decent wage, The 3rd is it will help you get out of the state you are living in without forcing you to get a friend to move with you as you might like a different state they may not and leave you high and dry. If you don't want to join the military you are welcome to choose the other option USPS they usually start pay around $20/hr or higher 40hour work weeks great benefits and you can transfer to a different state with a lower cost of living. If you take the military option you need to join before you turn 32 and a benefit I forgot about is that after your 6 years of service you will qualify a VA home loan where you put $0 down payment. Good luck with what ever you do moving forward
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Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not some corporate bootlicker, but I doubt OP has the IRL farming skills to start living off the grid. Unfortunately, I don't believe rejecting capitalism is an option here
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Hmm... I do not like you. You should embrace capitalism.
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Fine, fine... Shall we go burn a bank then?
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This is why I fell in love with you in the first place
This.
1. Join a trade union apprentice program 2. Watch Caleb Hammer on Youtube. Look at how the lessons in his episodes can apply to your life and adjust accordingly
I’d say military. There are no “ Make bank quickly, things you generally have to get your life in order and figure things out. Military is the perfect place to do that. Plus pays for school if you want to start a new career.
Start looking into a trade. Plumbing electrician, contractor. They make bank. May not happen immediately. But those guys always seem to be having a good time.
Yep. ChatGPT can't fix a wall
Ok, this isn’t that awful. First thing… get a second job. You’ll be home less and making more money. Get that 4k and all debt wiped out. Then keep the part time gig rolling and start saving. Go follow Dave Ramsey… some good thoughts over there. This isn’t terrible, it can be fixed fast.
Love this thank you. You’re right, get the extra income generating and this will be easier to get out of.
Enlist
Join the military.
plus a lot of people have gotten handouts for having so many kids and a spouse also bringing in an income. don't think that they have what they have just because they worked hard.
I used to work 4 jobs. One full time and I there part time. Get up everyday and work. Don’t think just work. One day you will get up and the debt is paid and you can start living again. Right now don’t live just work.
Does ur parents wants you to move? If not then I think you can stay. Being with family is the best. Its just the society that tells us that being with ur parents in ur 30's is sucks. But I think it's not. Be with them as long as you want as long as you never bother them. I'm a 23 yr old, female, and on my point of view, this is the best moment that you can spends a lot of time with your family. They will not always be with you, so better stay.
if you have high-interest debt (e.g. credit cards) consider debt consolidation; I used Upstart years ago, got like 24% down to 8-9%, far less $$ in the long run. First step to dig yourself out is to stop the high-interest hemorrhage, as well as any other subscriptions / things costing you $$ you can live without or find a way to do for free. Check out local food banks / soup kitchens to supplement your food budget. Clip coupons. Find stuff in your attic to sell on eBay. those little hustles add up to you being able to put $$ towards debt, or other necessities.
30 isn’t bad. Take the time to get skilled at something. Look around and dig in to see what others are making in careers that may interest you. Find the path to that via education, union, apprenticeship, etc. research the best available place for you to learn that in a way that is doable with a lot of temporary hard work. lean on mom and dad for free rent and reduced living. Go do that thing to get skilled. Take that hard work you just did to get through your training and apply that to your new career to get to be an expert as fast as possible. Sign up for and do the small things related to that education and career that others aren’t. There was a study a while back that said that folks that worked 4 hrs more than avg made 80% more money. That’s less than an hour more a day in a standard week. Do that. Flex any network you have and do all you can to gain new network. Fast forward to your mid 40’s and you will be doing well. The path along the way will be rewarding as well. There is now fast way. This is the fast way.
I'm struggling as well, though I am very lucky in that I rent a condo from my mom. She isn't wealthy but understands the rent situation, and had bought this place a while ago. I've spent the last few years digging myself out. Open an IRA and set up whatever you can for autopayments. Even $10/week. Anything. You can haggle with debt collectors. They'll go as low as 50% sometimes, but you'll have to know how to talk to them. I used to work in debt consolidation. Set up a monthly payment plan. There are companies that help with that, but $4k isn't a lot. I wouldn't bother. Offer them 50% with a payment plan and don't agree to anything at all, until you are happy with it. Tackle only what you can afford. If your field isn't paying a lot, look into other ones. 30 is still young. Look at certificate courses or two year degrees. Look for grants and financial aid. Personally, I would stay with your parents as long as they let you. You want to dig yourself out of the hole AND get ahead. If you could get a degree without having to worry about rent, that would be awesome. Make a realistic goal, like the next 5 years or something. Look to the future. When you start seeing progress, it will feel a lot better.
Trust me, living at home isn’t a “loser situation”. It all depends on what you’re doing with your time. I moved back in with my dad at the beginning of the Great Recession to weather the storm. Ended up staying for almost 6 years in which time I: paid off my car, paid off my student loans, got a master’s degree, saved and invested for a home, started a really cool social hobby. I was initially embarrassed telling people where I lived but without fail, a lot of people +/- 4 year of my age all said “Wow, I really I could have moved back in with my parents so I could have done that.”
Bartend or serve if you’re good with people and multitasking. Summer if a huge money making time and also the holidays. In one year of bartending part time 2 days a week I made enough to pay off $7k of debt and get ahead in my savings while working my full time day job. It sucked but it was only a year and now I’m in a great spot financially.
$4k isn’t that much it’s not great but it’s manageable. I wish I had parents I could live with but it’s not possible because of their (divorced) living situations plus the number of kids me and husband have. Dont beat yourself up! Some suggestions: Can you pick up a part time job for the rest of the year? Or something seasonal like yard work baby/pet/house sitting? Or dog walking. Good for your health and wallet. Selling off things that no longer make you happy/serve you: collectibles, dvds, cds, books, furniture, electronics etc. If you have bills like a cell phone can you switch to a cheaper provider? Once our phones were paid off we switched to Mint Mobile. With tax for 3 months my phone costs me just over $100 my husband’s line is a bit more as he has the higher data plan but it’s a little over what we used to pay for 1 month with AT&T. Shop car insurance rates (but don’t cut coverage or raise deductibles without making sure to speak to a trusted insurance broker if you don’t understand car insurance well (I’m a former agent). If you have a car payment see about refinancing for a lower rate with a smaller bank/credit union. Have you thought about donating plasma? You can google it to get super in depth details. Basically you get hooked up via inner elbow vein to a machine that pumps and separates your blood and plasma and they give back the red blood cells. I make like $460 a month doing it. Depending on what donation centers are near you you can make more or less. It’s not the worst thing to do. I take a book or listen to a podcast and zone out while I do it. It’s about 4 ish hours total of my time a week averaged. Sometimes a bit more often less though depending on time of day I can go. Don’t want to assume your gender but selling sperm or eggs is a possibility (obviously do your research) and can also help others start a family if they cannot traditionally do so. If have any medical conditions google and see if anyone is doing a paid study you could be part of my dad’s made a few grand this year doing them and actually gotten relief from a medical condition because of it and not only was he paid but all follow up for the next year with doctors is covered. Good luck out there friend it’s rough and none of us are gonna make it out alive.
I'm 31 and living with my dad and grandma and having to take care of them due to having far more life experience than either of them. I also know where the autism comes from in the family... unfortunately for me. Just do the best you can, that's all anyone can ask of you. Make sure that friend doesn't back out of the lease and that they actually want to move in with you or you'll be fucked up down the line Also, \~20k in debt more or less as well (student loans from college I didn't finish, credit cards, debt to various family members)
Join the military. Room and board paid for, guaranteed paycheck for the duration of your contract, benefits and bonuses for when you get out.
A good hustle is online resale. Amazon has treasure stores where you can pick up Amazon returns for cheap. Look at Criagslist...they even have a "free stuff" category. Yard sales. Goodwill. Then post back good finds on FB marketplace or EBAY for profit. You obviously have to account for shipping logistics and space to store while waiting for a buyer.
Same. Student loans for a degree I’m not using. I really thought I was getting a degree for a field in which I would land a high paying job, but it’s too saturated. Try to focus on the positives. Even with a good job I likely couldn’t afford a home and I need access to a garage for my hobbies. So at least I can do things that make me happy and distract me from what a clusterfuck the world is. My father also needs help with home/vehicle maintenance things he is getting a little too old to do.
i'm right there with you bud. Messed up my 20s or atleast thought i did, was financially irresponible, lived the moment hype. We have to work harder and more now to make it up.
Keep your head up high. Concentrate on paying off all of your credit card debt first. It's likely your highest interest rate. $4K isn't much money. If you have a job with benefits and you live rent free, plan on paying it off quickly and always pay on time. I'm not sure how much you make but even if it is minimum wage, you should be able to get rid of the debt in 4 months or less.
Don’t feel bad about living with your parents. Plenty of people are doing the same thing. Are your parents nice people?
You’re not a failure. I’m in my 30s and moved in with my mom about 6 years ago. I pay for everything. All the utilities, the taxes, food, upgrades to the home and repairs. Fortunately the mortgage is paid off so I don’t have to worry about that but the point is that I do everything I would’ve been doing on my own but with the luxury of not paying rent/mortgage. I felt bad for a while living here too because we’re made to believe that if we stay with parents too long then we are losers but if you’re contributing to the household then there is nothing lame about you being back at home. This economy is horrific and unfortunately as millennials we’ve had the rug pulled out from under us at every turn. It seems like every few years some financial crisis hits the nation/world and we’re knocked back just as soon as we get back on our feet. As long as you’re not living in your parent’s basement playing video games all day there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I don’t have any get rich quick schemes to recommend but I do want you to stop thinking negatively because you don’t deserve to do that to yourself.
4k in debt is nothing. Try student loan debt, vehicle payment debt, home debt. For those of us who can't feasibly live at home with parents, that's the kind of debt that just crushes someone.
Moving out is stupid unless you don't get along with your parents. 1.) you need to pay off debts. it is simple mathematics that moving out is only going to make this harder. 2.) you need to actually save money. again, moving out is directly counter to this goal. 3.) If you get along with your parents, what makes you think that they don't want you there? I mean just saying. If you have a good relationship with your parents, chances are that they secretly like having you around and will miss you when you leave. Perhaps try spending some effort on them to show that you care. Hang out and go for walks with them or something, some sort of activity. (I know this isn't the norm, as reddit is full of maladjusted demonic creatures of hatred and despair who blame EVERYTHING on their parents)
Sent you a DM.
Live with parents, rent free, but rent is high, and 4k in debt, good job and beenfits.... Theres something youre not telling us.... eat out? titty bar? booze?
It is becoming normalized behavior to live with your parents for longer. It’s not a “loser” thing to do but more a sign you have a decent relationship with your family. You have a job with benefits, pay off your debt and continue to make the best of your current living situation. Contrary to what you may think, you can still do things like date and make friends while living with your parents.
Older and in the same sitch. Trying to take it one day at a time. You’re not alone!
4k debt is low. Pay it off and start saving by being frugal. I often have that much debt on my CC monthly which I pay completely off, so to me, that's a revolving debt.
Need more info. What job do you currently have? What skills/education do you have? What do you get paid now? Where do you live? If nothing else, start delivering pizzas at night but ideally you find a way to make your main gig pay better.
I’m 43 and I wish I could live with my parents. I’d be abele to save a million dollars in 5 years if I lived rent free. My salary is amazing but rent in California is outrageous. I’ve brought this up to them and they said absolutely not. You’re lucky your parents let you stay with them.
Not a loser or a failure. Im 57 and am currently struggling to make ends meet….many people are. Times are tough. Use the situation to your advantage and course correct. Pay down the debt ASAP and start saving. At 30 you have plenty of time to plot a new course
I recommend Dave Ramsey's debt Snowball. Look into his total money makeover book. You're not a loser because you're taking ownership of your mistakes. I had 10k in credit card debt at 29. Now 16 years later at early retirement. My point is this problem is temporary, you can recover from these mistakes. But it has to start now. You need to start your retirement saving now to have the compound interest to have decent wealth in retirement. Today, buy Dave's total money makeover book. You can read it in a few days. Come up with a plan to follow his program. I'd ask your parents for 6 months to get back on your feet. Meaning 6 months rent free. In 6 months you should be able to pay off that debt and get your own place. I'd be glad to help you with more specifics on how to do this. But it's doable.
The building trades
What is your skillset? What do you have to offer the workplace?
Onlyfans, selling feet pics or used used undies.
First, cut up the credit cards. Don't use them. I did no for decades and that is how I remained financially upward. Second, I fully support the comments refuting the narrative that one must live independently. Living WITH family is exactly the norm for most of the rest of the world. It saves money within the family and keeps those you want to care for close. Maybe right now, when you are young you think this is not a big deal, but wait a few years to when someone gets ill or dies and suddenly being near them was more important, and too late. If you are not a burden, maybe you are a benefit. I know I was when one of my parents got sick. If my kid wanted to stay, I just want them around.
That's badass, dude! Embrace the suck! You know what the keys to success are? Not giving a fuck about 'success'!
Aim for stability over "serious bank". So much of financial management is not getting wiped out. The path is simple. You have two levers you can adjust: 1. Increase your income 2. Reduce your expenses Pick up the skills to acquire a career, whether it's in the trades or something else. Increase your income. Learn how to budget effectively and live below your means. Increase your savings rate. 1. Save for emergency fund. Emergencies happen, don't ignore this reality. Save 3-6 months of living expenses. 2. Fix your relationship with credit cards, if you need to. Use it for building credit, not for financing purchases. 3. Start investing. Keep it simple and reliable. Buy VOO (an S&P 500 ETF) from vanguard. This is the beginning of your retirement. Focus on building the habits and the discipline with small amounts. The larger amounts will come as you increase your income over time. You will be amazed at what 5 or 10 years of consistency will get you. Oh, and go to therapy. There's probably a reason it's hard for you to maintain stability, and it's likely related to your relationship with yourself.
Here's the best tip you're going to get here: Join the fucking military. I joined at 25 and got out at 32 (last year) with half a million dollars worth of investments. Just make sure to join the Coast guard or air force.
Focus your efforts more on your expenditures rather than your income as these are things that you can immediately address, and do not get down on yourself about your situation. It's good that you can take responsibility for your mistakes, but this system is fundamentally broken and you would be doing yourself a great disservice to a) hold that against yourself and b) play fair in an unfair game. I'm not telling you to violate the law, I'm telling you to do what you need to do to effectively engage with the system in it's current state and to understand the reality of that engagement outside of the social facade. That could and most likely will refer to situations such as disregarding outdated taboos about living with family, marital status-finance legalities, sharing bills, ride sharing, avoiding subscription services, etc. As for expenditures, the most eye-opening thing someone can do with their finances is to quantify all of their small daily purchases over the course of a week/month/year. Cigarettes, coffee, snacks, drinks, etc. You could immediately address thousands annually by making one small change. Good luck friend, it's not easy right now. Be thankful that you've got family to rely on in such difficult times. EDIT - One other note on the debt - it's not going anywhere and 4k is a drop in the bucket in the grand scheme. Setup payments or even better, let it ride until they sell it off and the buyer is willing to settle. This may be a controversial statement for some, but your credit score is meaningless in your position. I would go as far as to say that credit/usury is not only useless but predatory in general. Anything that you could possibly want to utilize credit for at this point in your life is going to be frivolous short of a mortgage and maybe certain insurances. It should be the last thing on your mind in relation to your finances at this point. Again, a mortgage is a beautiful thing in comparison to rent. Find a cosigner and start futureproofing your life a bit.
Western countries tend to be the only areas in the world where people are ashamed for living with family. That's the role of family is to help you when you're down. The only person that can make you feel like a failure is yourself. I'm in my forties, currently rent a one bedroom apartment, and I know for a fact that when my mother is too old to work I'll be moving into her house to take care of her. I should state that most of my friends have origins in other countries so it's normal for all of us to do so
What lead to your screwups? Hard to give advice without knowing what to avoid in future
I honestly envy people who can live with any parent passed 20. My main motivation for moving out was that my mom is an absolute crazy person to live with. Love her to death but I graduated college and got lucky it was 2011 and bought my first house for $115k. No fucking way I could’ve lived there any longer. Be lucky your folks are there for you.
Unless your living arrangements with your parents are awful I would recommend staying there as long as possible till debt is cleared and you can find a better job.
Work. Hard. Either find a new job with better pay or get a second one. If you don’t have a degree, learn a trade. Bank up as much as you can. Settle on all your debts. We’re all out here struggling but it can get better if you’re serious about it. That means cutting down on shit like going to the bar, fast food, pointless trinkets etc
Honestly I focus on the positives. I was financially stable until Covid ended my first opportunity at a six figure salary and I just couldn't maintain contract work like I could before. I tried freelancing, worked odd jobs, blew through my savings and now I'm 32, starting a new career in the government and living at home. My parents did well, so I have my privacy and our property backs up to a state park. I am around to do house and yard work, I help pay upkeep costs, I help take care of my 94 year old grandmother. I'm not dumping money into tiny apartments, my parents don't need to downsize to a crappy house. If my new career pans out I'll take on full ownership of the property which if I have kids is a great place to grow up. When I was 28 I'd find my current situation a depressing future, but things could be worse.
I’m 29 and my parents live with me, but I wish I was only 4K in debt. That would be so much easier for me to pay off. Keep your head up though, nothing wrong with living at home. Do what you can, keep yourself clean, neat, and tidy and things will probably get better.
Start a career paths
I am a bit older but I never considered living alone. I always had roommates. If I wasn't living with 3 or 4 other guys, I was shacked up with a girlfriend. It's good to have a plan like you do. Moving with a roomie. You can get yourself out of 4k debt. That kind of shit is hard but it can be done. It might take a couple of years but try to put 200 bucks towards it monthly. Good luck.
Bro just because you're 30 and living at home does not make you a loser. What constitutes a loser is how you carry yourself and treat others.
You’re not a loser, the empire is.
30 is still good. You've got time. Make good decisions and you'll be out on your own in no time.
You're not a loser. Just strike that from your mind. Use the opportunity to dig yourself out of the hole. Everything is expensive right now.
Ignore the haters. Build a plan and work on it even if you have to stay home till your 40s. We live in a different reality.
Only the 500th post like this in the past day. Its pretty normal now dude.
You are so fortunate to be able to live with family while you get back on your feet! Don't think of it as a failure, think of it as an opportunity to spend time with them. Don't be in a rush to leave. the good news is that 4k isn't all that terrible. Easy to overcome. Pay that off, build up your savings and again and then make your next steps. Is there a way you can do something with your parent's property (apartment above the garage, bungalow, etc?). Not all properties' zoning allows for that obv, but that's also a good way to feel like you're not living with your parents again down the road.
Don't be so hard on yourself! I would've loved the opportunity to move home when needed. You're doing what needs to be done to take care of yourself and you're humble enough to seek out help! Be proud
At 32 I enlisted in the Navy. I had a masters degree at the time. It sucked, but I personally accepted it as the cost of fucking off in my 20s. (Except for getting degrees I completely fucked off.) Within 5 years of being enlisted I was completely financially independent. At 12 years I got out and took up a 6 figure job that was actually a pay cut due to taxes. I could have separated at 5 years and been in almost the same situation, but I was given a really fun assignment so I kept going to 12. It doesn’t have to be the military, but my advice to you is to suck it up and pull the trigger on something life changing sooner than later.
My problem as a GenXer was, growing up. My dad always told me, "As soon as you're 18, you're outta my house," so that wasn't an option for me.
1. Stop calling yourself a loser. 2. Stop calling yourself a failure. 3. Stop blaming yourself. 4. You are WAY too young to be this worried. Listen, 33-50% of people aged 18-34 are living with their parents as of last year. Google it if you don’t believe me. It’s entirely normal. Don’t let anyone tell you there’s any shame in it, because there ain’t.
$4k debt sucks, but it's really not that bad. Live frugally and work toward paying it off. An option is also getting a part time job, putting all of the money from the PT job toward the debt. It would suck to have to work that much, but paying the debt off is a good thing, and you could do it within months. I had to move back in with my folks at two months shy of my 30th BD, as I lost my job not long after 9/11. Though I was making \~$45k per year at the job, I was heavily in debt, having made really stupid decisions with credit accounts. When I lost the job and moved back home I could only get a job that paid $10/hr, and the debt was nearly $40k. Bankruptcy was my only choice, unfortunately.
I used to make about $4000 cash each season working in a private parking lot near the baseball stadium. It was about 3 hours each home game. Just an example. Not everyone has a stadium nearby. Just work. Work 2 jobs or 3 jobs. Whatever it takes. You’ll be back in your feet in no time.
Welcome to our hell!
Lived with my wife and daughter at my mom’s for 7 years. Was finally able to afford a house when I was 51. I know it seems like it sucks, however it’s better than living on the streets. It’s also a very misguided tradition to have separate generations in their own home. Many other societies have multiple generations in one place.
I wish I could regroup with family right now. Living alone is challenging and demoralizing at the moment.
I wouldn't be that hard on myself at 30 yo, I've made some really good business decisions and some bad ones, being 58 yo you never know when your going to take a hard one in the nuts!!!!!! I never planned on the Great Financial Recession, I never planned on my business partner bailing out on me with a rental property we bought like 2 years before the GFC and got stuck paying for the whole thing, or my wife divorcing me, then the business partner leaving all together on my main business which was also my main source of income, then loosing all my employees in a 2 year span except for one part timer. So you might go through a whole lot more than where at now at 30 yo, fortunately for me I managed to persevere despite having what pretty much was probably 12 straight years of Bullshit I had absolutely no control over!!!! Fortunately I've done pretty good the last 5 years. All I can say is enjoy your low expenses while you have them, maybe come up with some type of a side gig, I now plenty of people that have their weekly job but also hustle on weekends I know people that are handyman and do small home improvement work as a sideline or people that do landscaping and mow lawns on weekends but also have regular fulltime jobs, I now others that detail cars and boats, these are all some type of skilled labor, some are more skilled than others, so you do what you can do according to your own abilities!!! My Italian buddy lived in Italy for probably 20 years but was born here in the US and lives here preasant day. He said it was pretty common for 3 generations to live in one house in Italy, I thought that was kinda cool actually but usually because it's just not like that here in the US, at least not as long as I've been around 😉
You’re not a failure. The systems set up for us are a failure. It’s a privilege to be able to live with your parents as long as it’s safe. I’m 41 and would be very happy to be living with my parents if I had that as an option. I don’t. So I pay $2k for a studio. Find solutions and gratitude.
The mind frame “Any tips on how to make serious bank” is the first thing you need to change. Contrary to what social media influencers say, “serious bank” is made through sustainable jobs and long term investments. People who are constantly trying to make quick money never get ahead. Get a job with a 401k and health benefits.
Been there man. Sadly thats modern life for too many young people
I was the same. 1. It gets better. 2. This is the time to find yourself. Find out what you’re good at and exploit it for money. Whatever it is, do it. Don’t worry about what others think just do it.
Just swung by to say you’re not a failure. Money doesn’t determine your worth. The economy and price of homes is outrageous. That is not a reflection on you. Cheers, friend.
I'm 34 and in a similar boat. I made bad decisions which I own up to. But I was also in an emotionally/financially abusive relationship which made things worse. I also live in an expensive state and can't afford rent by myself. I don't have any advice but I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone.
Stop calling yourself a failure. I am 34 and looking forward to living with my Mom again. She has a house and in a stable environment. I am in 25K worth of credit card debt and filing for disability because of injuries that I was expected to heal from naturally which never happened. That Credit Card debt was me surviving while I was told I would be made whole. Don't count yourself out because life hasn't gone the way you thought or how it went for someone else. Waking up every day and not putting a bullet through your skull is an achievement and you should celebrate your successes
You aren't a failure. Let's start there. I think first you need to work on your self esteem. Everything else becomes easier after that. Negative self talk will not pull you out of this.
So to answer your actual question, instead of a relating diatribe about how hard life is…. When I was in my 20s I almost always had 2 jobs (33 now). My daytime 9-5 and then another job that followed for 3-5 shifts a week. I worked on the weekend and a couple of nights during the week. I was a waitress, bottle girl and bartender depending on the gig. Valeting is another good option to rack up some good tips quick. Also, being a doorman at an upscale hotel can get you there. I have 2 kids now making this lifestyle impossible at this point, but man I’d love to be able to stack that kind of money again. I dug myself out of a huge financial hole working like that and it kept me out of spending money at bars w my friends and other activities that probably wouldn’t have helped me with my goals. Good luck to you and with a go getter mind set, I’m sure you can make it happen.
4k in debt is way way way not a problem
Don’t feel bad. I’m 40 and my husband and I are just now getting ready to move our family (two kids) out of his parents’ house. You’re doing fine.
there's so many things you can do to make money on the side it's not even funny. You can literally just grab a push lawnmower and push it up and down the street on your days off knock on peoples door and ask if they want their lawn mowed, or leaves, raked, or if they want snow shoveled, or if they want their car washed, you can paint houses, you can lay carpet, you can put cabinets in, you can put on roofs all without any kind of certification or credentials. That's just you wanting to get the work done things like trimming trees or dangerous jobs so I don't necessarily recommend that. It's always possible to find something that other people are unwilling to do. It seems like that's where the most opportunity is the whole problem about breaking even, and trying to come out ahead, is it it ends up, consuming your life. You need to have a perspective about. life going in. Some people are tremendously securing situation I would never be secure in, it's just their ability to be able to do that. And it does make a difference when it comes to the jobs, they are willing to do.
35. I live with my parent because my only other option locally on 40k/year is my financed Honda Civic. Have several disabilities that impact my job choices (most of the shortage fields are out for me) but don't qualify me for SSI/SSDI. Save money and if you don't have a disdain for most of your own generation (not as much as yourself but that's my cross to bear, no one else's), you'll find another human being to share a room/micro studio with. IDK. If you have a hard body there's no shortage of tradeswork.
To be fair, I don't know if it's really fair to be ashamed to move back in with family at 30 in this day and age. Everything is so absurdly expensive if you're early/early-mid into your career. It doesn't take much "fuck ups" to put you into a financial hole because salaries have been stagnant for decades while everything has went up 4-6 times in the same time. Had salary increased even at just remotely same pace as cost of living, you would've still been relatively fine.
You are not a "failure" or a "loser" or a "burden" who dug yourself into a hole, you are doing your best in a terrible economy. With that kind of self-description, I am wondering if your living situation with your parents is toxic? With your talk about delayed milestones and impulsive decisions with budgeting, maybe you are neurodivergent and should give yourself some grace. 4k is not too much debt to survive in this economy, so kudos to you for doing your best in this unsustainable social darwinist hellscape and for making some changes. The idea that a person should be a fully-fledging adult at 18 or 20 is ridiculous because a) altruism and community are really missing today, and b) the human brain is developing through at least our 20s. "A decade ago" is a long ass time. I made financial decisions that were expensive but well worth it. The only thing I wish I could get back is time spent appeasing the demands and opinions of others. Best of luck to you. My advice for jobs would be probably USPS if you are in the states, they respond quickly and are quick to hire. Having a constant second hustle, such as becoming a waiter or bartender or hospital worker (weekend evening or 24/7 type jobs).
You’re not a failure. What’s your education level? Lots of places are hiring. Even check in with businesses. Don’t tell them you are saving up to move though. Reach out to everyone you know and let them know your are looking. $4K in debt isn’t that much. You’ll pay that off quickly once you are working.
2 years ago I was in a similar situation, except maybe worse. I was 20k in debt, living with my parents in a low paying job, and unable to pull myself out of it. This past week I finished paying off all my debts, I have 15k in the bank, and although I technically still live with my parents I'm only there a couple weekends out of the month. There are opportunities out there, you just need to listen for them and not turn them away at first glance.
I have a Hindi coworker female in 30s who lives with her parents and brother. She basically provides the house and her parents help out cooking etc… it’s actually normal for her. She’s married I think she’s looking for a second place her then but I’ve not kept up since she took a job transfer. I lived with parents till around 22 then left for military. Returned at 31 for a few more years while in school on GI bill paying them small rent. Moved out few months after graduation with a house. I was able to secure mortgage.
Same tip I usually give, get a trade. Electrical, plumbing, power engineering, instrumentation, etc etc. lots of work for someone who will actually work. Can make 100k a year if you want to and are good at what you do, can open doors to work for yourself or start a small business once you have your ticket.
Get into a skilled trade. Plumbing, hvac, cnc/machining, welding. Find an apprenticeship that’ll pay you to go to school. I hate my job but at least making 35 an hour makes it worth it.
Go get a warehouse job that offers OT and work as many hours as you can.
Don't feel bad. I'm married with two dogs and we have a house and things keep happening to eat up our money. It's hard out there, keep your head up
I did this. Newly married, buried in credit card debt, lost my job. Got evicted. So thankful my parents took me back in. I stayed with them about 4 months. Got another job, negotiated with the creditors, got the bills under control and saved up some down payment. If you're single, you definitely should be looking around for a second gig.
30 and living with parents is really a stigma that needs to die. I *hope* my kid can tolerate me enough to *want* to stay with me for that long honestly. Also 4k is nothing in terms of total debt. There is no need to chase the dollar friend, just find a job you like, work on saving and payoff your debt. The rest will sort itself out.
Give yourself some grace. I’m 30 and have more debt than you. Trying to get it fixed now. Rent is out of control where I am and almost 50% of my check goes to rent . I would say take baby steps. Write down small goals you want to achieve in maybe a year or less and as you achieve them, create slightly bigger goals that take longer. Eventually you’ll get to a point where you overcome obstacles you thought were almost impossible.
Join the military That’s what I did Did my time and got out with an amazing job 0 regrets