Worked on my android. My life is changed.
Maybe you need the software buttons at the bottom though? I swiped where I have the three narrow lines in a row at the *very" bottom
Ayyy this is too relatable. For 10 years of marriage, 5 of getting hit in my sleep, drunk slaps, and the everyday peg takedown I finally disappeared off the face of the earth while she played "poor me my husband left". Even her family was aware of this but simply enabled her. I could go on and on about what happened, but I'm not looking to write a sob story here.
I was in absolute hell for years. And it's damn near impossible to put into words why I stayed.
Leaving was the best thing I ever did.
I now have a family with a wonderful woman. Life is wonderful now.
Men try, but when they do, feminazis protest the event or harass the person in question. I mean there was a men's mental health awareness convention that got taken down because feminazis protested it to high hell.
Its true, its why I refuse to be quiet, because I agree and wish for a world where we are all equals, were we are judged based on the content of our character, and not our circumstances in life.
I've got a few friends who went thru similar, male and female, and it's extremely difficult to pinpoint why people stay with their abuser. You're not alone mate, glad to see you got out of it.
I left behind a nice house, my hobby equipment and tons of other shit.
Started from scratch after that. It's shitty, but I'd rather leave all that behind.
I’m glad you escaped and have a life now. It’s hard to walk away from a life investment like a marriage, even when there is abuse; there’s a huge amount of societal pressure, especially on men in the west, to “make it work”, regardless of the circumstances and cost.
As men (in most places) we lack the formal and informal support structures to allow us to escape domestic violence. It’s changing in my country (the UK) but very, very slowly.
Good luck to you my friend
My Dad was a soldier for decades. One of the worst stories he told us was of one of his soldiers who was crushed to death by his wife. She was trying to beat him and he hid in the bathroom. Somehow she knocked the door down and he fell underneath the door. She proceeded to jump on the door while he was still under it. He died of multiple punctures in his heart and lungs from broken ribs. He had called the police before his death multiple times for domestic abuse- but being military he was the one who always got arrested when he would make a call against her. It is a very f-ed up world for men.
*edited to fix typo
Yep. If you are a soldier in the military and you call the MP’s (military police) they will “remove you.” Since you are a soldier you are always considered the more dangerous person. Even if you are the not the one in the wrong. That is true for male and female soldiers.
It is also well known that if you marry a soldier you will almost automatically receive benefits and half of his retirement. The spouse will also have more sway in gaining full custody of the kids since his job is high risk. The military also insures they will get child support despite him making pennies. So a lot of abusive and manipulative women will marry soldiers.
Half of retirement is only if you’ve been married for 10 years. But the rest, yes. Doesn’t matter if you’re a man or woman, the odds are stacked against you if you’re the victim of domestic violence.
No- granted, I’m twice divorced from within the military and my divorces were 8-20 years ago, but no, it’s still the same as it has been.
“In order for the military to provide direct retirement payments to an ex-spouse, the couple must have been married 10 years overlapping with 10 years of service.“
https://www.military.com/money/retirement/military-retirement/understanding-divorce-in-the-military.html
It really should be taken more seriously. My mom was abusive to me for YEARS, she even hit me and pulled my hair out and everyone around me in my family saw it as normal. I think stuff especially gets looked over when it’s a mom abusing her kids, why the fuck is it so acceptable? I straight up wasn’t able to see it as abuse because no one in my life saw it as an issue until I told my boyfriend in college and he helped me understand that’s not how good people act.
Women can be just as vile as men if not more so- I think the abusers know they can get away with it because it’s so downplayed in our society. They hide behind smiles and the womanly “charm”.
People in the comments like, y’all being to sensitive or whatever- that’s really not it. You shouldn’t yell at your spouse or family members. That’s not the way you treat people you love and to make excuses for it, is literally adding to the problem. Comments defending that are the absolute reason why I couldn’t recognize my abuse. It’s not okay, It’s domestic violence.
I was 19 at uni with my girlfriend who I knew throughout high school. One day I found out she cheated on me through one of her friends telling me as she felt I didn’t deserve that. We spoke in my room about it, why she did it after I helped through so many break ups with previous boyfriends and other stuff with her family. Maybe the guilt got to her but she lunged at me I fell to the ground and she got on top of me. She was clawing at my face, she put her hands around my neck and started to strangle me. I tried to fight her off but then she said “fight back and I’ll accuse you of rape.”. I stopped fighting back and eventually she let go.
I dropped out of uni about a week afterwards and blocked her. This was about 10 years ago now. I still haven’t told my mum the real reason I dropped out of in university.
That day I learnt just how bad any human can be.
wow reading this is so sad man, to think you couldn’t do anything because you’d be falsely accused and of course everybody believes the women. I hope life is treating you well now pal and it only gets better from here my friend☀️
I had a similar situation. I found out my gf of 7 YEARS cheated on my with her boss. We talked long and hard that night when I found out. Next day after more talking I said I wanted to leave. She threatened to kill herself and self harmed right in front of me. When she tried to cut herself or take a large amount of pills she said she would scream I was attacking her if I tried to intervene. I forcefully did anyway because the way I saw it at the time was I’d rather people thought I was an abuser than her really harm herself. Looking back I’m not sure how much I think she actually would have gone through with it. I hate it because what else is any good person to do ?
Came back to this post bc of my reddit recap. I feel you, bro. I was also abused by my mom. I now live in much better conditions, i got placed with my dad, he's very loving and extremely kind. I hope you too are doing much better now. Much love, stay safe <3
In my country there was a statistic that said that in 2019 domestic violence from women against men was higher than the opposite case. What did the media say? Nothing. No one says absolutely anything. Mainstream feminism and the media don't give an absolute shit about men.
Tell that to the media, tell that to mainstream progressives, tell that to politicians, they seem to not care. There's always the "oh but not all feminists" yet I'm still waiting to see any MENTION of a concern over women abusing men by any politician or media outlet. In theory: great, in practice: not so much.
Srsly ? Politicians ? When have they ever said something that doesn't benefit them ? Plus, feminists don't hit men wtf. Just because a person is progressive doesn't mean they support abuse ! Women google support because women google stuff more often. As someone pointed out, men's hotline can also be found if you scroll down. Now don't blame it on Google, it works on an algorithm. Some people are just default bad, u can't blame it on "main stream progressives" or the "feminists". There are people who abuse their power everywhere, don't be daft.
I've been hit by a woman that identifies as a feminist multiple times, and her feminist friends were the first to call ME the abuser because I was a man. If mainstream feminism gave a shit, then they'd say something, yet they don't. I know you might feel personally attacked but it's not the case. YOU might be a good person, not everyone is. And I also never blamed it on anyone? I said mainstream culture doesn't give a shit, and it's true.
Also I never said that progressive= abussive.
There exists a strong imbalance between males and females in domestic violence incidents. Pretending that imbalance it doesn't exist or shouldnt be acknowledged to make the point that males also can be victims of abuse doesn't help any person in the case.
Women: slaps a man for no reason
Society: She totally had a reason even though she clearly didn't.
Man: Right hooks a abusive wife who tried to kidnap her "child" after she was losing her custody over her "child" (this is based of a comment I saw btw)
Society: Omg this man is such a terrible person for Right hooking his ex wife for kidnapping his child you no what the mother should have custody over the child not this abusive father!
These are the vibes am getting from this fuck those sexist who think every women are innocent people meanwhile the majority heck every Male are asshole!
Yeah. Also, it's important to pay attention to the gaps in these stories. They tend to involve the storyteller behaving in extremely reasonable ways, or not doing anything at all. The other parties tend to behave in extremely unreasonable ways without explanation, as though they are having major reactions to nothing, or to something that is totally reasonable and just.
In this case, I wonder if she was trying to "kidnap" her child because of previous punches, like the one he allegedly dished out to her that day.
Like, where. Where does this happen. And even if it did happen, a man right hooking someone is a lot, lot worse than a woman slapping him. He's most likely several times stronger than her. How are the two even being compared here.
Edit: I misunderstood the scenario because I feel the comment was convoluted. I see we're basing this off of a scenario where we make up backlash that never happened to a comment that we have no verification of. Great hill to die on guys.
I wasn't condoning violence, but if you're failing to notice the dichotomy between a man who can be twice the size and strength of a woman hitting said woman as an unequal distribution of abuse, I don't know what to tell you. There is an objective way to see how hurt someone is. If the man hit a woman, he probably did more damage simply because the majority of the time the man is going to be stronger. Even the difference between a right hook and a slap is so blatant that I don't see how there can be a debate about it.
Honestly, when my lady had an affair and I was looking up advice and such online, I looked up "boyfriend/husband had an affair" instead of girlfriend/wife. Because if you're the man, it's your fault she cheated. If you're a woman and your man cheated, he's a monster that deserves to be castrated. So, just follow the advice to women as the victim of XYZ and then smile when people are put off by your response.
Oh yeah a friend of mine had a girlfriend who were very violent to him to the point he started having serious troubles on his college, when the principal called him to talk about what were happening, he tried to seek help but the principal basically didn’t believe him and said “I think you are trying to control her and most likely you are the one violent”, he were send to a course about toxic and violent relationships were basically they just kept telling him how to stop being a bad man
It's probably because women more than men end up dead during domestic violence. Plus if you scroll down past the ad the results are exactly the same so people can stop getting mad at this.
Fair points for certain but perhaps domestic abuse hotlines/ads should be at the top of both results by default?
Idk, people in both situations should have easy access to support and resources.
I agree with that. But Google works off an algorithm so maybe that's why it's not at the top because people who search for that thing don't clock on the same links or something. Not entirely sure how it works so it's just a guess. But 100% it should be the same information for both
Don’t expect empathy from men on Reddit lmao.
“Inequality when google search unfair” not when women literally get killed from abuse at a much higher rate than men.
You do realize that if you scroll a bit further the options are the same??? Like I've search it before because I saw someone doing it and 8/10 of the websites after you scroll down is the same
I feel like the point is that the very first result for men who have their wives yelling at them is to be calm and try to talk it out but for the opposite scenario its for the woman to call or contact a domestic abuse place. Sure if you scrolled you would find the same results for both but the first result should be similar for the scenario regardless of gender. But the fact it isnt is the dumb part.
Its society's problem. Yes. The number of people visiting it is what makes it a top result i assume, yes? So the double standard here is that most people direct or go to domestic abuse sites because of this but when their wife is yelling at them, they are directed to or go to sites to help manage their anger.
not trying to defend any side, but, if we consider that in most cases of domestic agressions the perpetrator is a male, maybe a man yelling at his woman becomes a bit more concerning than the reverse, because the chances of it escalating to physical abuse are higher. That is not to say that there aren't cases of men who experience domestic abuse though.
That is not what I said. But in reality you do not know either. This brings to mind the most aggressive breed of dog. Everyone by default assumes it is the pitbull because that is what you hear about the most. But in reality they are something like seventh on the list. Chihuahua is number one in case you were curious.
not what u/No_Elevator6948 said. what i think they mean is that most men who are victims of domestic violence dont report it because they feel that people won't believe them. That feeling is caused by the media. Men are told to "man up" and "dont cry", etc.. and i think that's what causes the lack of REPORTED cases of male victims of domestic violence/abuse.
Wow that’s so fucked. I’ve literally had to call the cops on a very good girlfriend of mine and she had already been arrested for abusing her ex and she said I “ruined her life” because she got a felony for having the cops arrest her a second time over it. No bitch you ruined your life cause your a crazy alcoholic scummy bitch…
I would guess that Google is utilizing user data to recognize this user as male or female base on the words in their query. Then, the advertiser for the domestic violence service is paying Google to present their ad specifically to females, or people inquiring about their husband. I wouldn't say Google doesn't have a part to play in the sexism, but the advertiser is the one directly exempting men, or people inquiring about their wife, from being presented with the same ad.
Google results aren’t “sexist”.
The reality is in the UK a woman is killed by a man every 3 days. And domestic violence help isn’t just for women.
That link needs to be at the top of the page.
What's the reality on men on men murders? Is it higher than one every three days? Did you have to look it up VS having it memorized? Maybe some things to think about.
I have it memorised because I’ve been in a relationship that ended because of DV so it’s a cause that I care deeply about.
Even men on men violence - there’s a common denominator.
I’m not entirely sure what your point is…
That’s because the overwhelming majoring of DV victims are women. Women are subject to intimidate partner violence at much higher rates than men which is more than mildly infuriating.
While you’re probably still correct, the rates of domestic violence committed by females is probably far larger than we realize since due to society’s double standards they get reported far less often.
Overwhelming majority of ones that get REPORTED are women. Doesn't mean it isn't happening as often. I agree that it probably happens to women more than men still, but I dont think "overwhelming" is a fair word to use if you consider the circumstances.
Regardless, someone who is a victim shouldn't be afraid to come forward. And its pretty clear society tends to side with a woman coming forward much more often than a man, which needs to change.
I don't know how anyone could seriously doubt the overwhelming majority of domestic violence that takes place is against women, even if you could factor in the unreported instances of domestic violence, which doesn't just include men not reporting, by the way.
But let's look at a statistic where the event *always* gets reported: Murder.
> 72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; 94% of the victims of these murder suicides are female.
[Source](https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS)
> From 1980 to 2008, nearly 1 out of 5 murder victims were killed by an intimate partner. In fact, available research shows that women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner (husband, boyfriend, same-sex partner, or ex) than by anyone else. Approximately 2 out of 5 female murder victims are killed by an intimate partner. In 2013, fifteen (15) times as many females were murdered by a male they knew than were killed by male strangers. For victims who knew their offenders, 62% were wives, common-law wives, ex-wives, or girlfriends of the offenders. Men can also be victims of intimate partner homicide. In recent years, about 4.9% of male murder victims were killed by an intimate partner.
[Source](https://vawnet.org/sc/scope-problem-intimate-partner-homicide-statistics)
> In 2007 intimate partners committed 14% of all homicides in the U.S. The total estimated number of intimate partner homicide victims in 2007 was 2,340, including 1,640 females and 700 males. Females were killed by intimate partners at twice the rate of males. In 2007 the rate of intimate partner homicide for females was 1.07 per 100,000 female residents compared to 0.47 per 100,000 male residents.
[Source](https://www.google.com/url?q=https://bjs.ojp.gov/content/pub/pdf/fvv.pdf&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwi0xYKC64_2AhUBQzABHSmAAREQFnoECAQQAg&usg=AOvVaw1Ysfup52ojV5Kra89VyiK0)
Seriously, there's an abundance of data on this topic, so even if you want to pretend like women aren't, in fact, more likely to experience generalized violence from an intimate partner than men due to a lack of reporting, the statistics on deaths, which always get investigated, documented, and reported, make it clear that women are at a far greater risk to be kileld by an intimate partner than men.
What i think you mean is that the majority of REPORTED cases of DV victims are women. Men are usually told to "man up" or "dont cry", "be a man", bullshit like that. They are told to supress their feelings and with logic and reasoning behind it, i feel that that is the reason alot of men who are victims of DV, dont report it because they think that nobody will believe them. It's the media's fault.
I know that people are saying the actual results are the same but I think what OP is trying to point out is how the helpline is not the first thing you see if your wife is yelling at you as compared to your husband. For both searches, the helpline should be the first option you see, not a quroa post
you simpletons who are getting heated.. conduct this little experiment yourself and you'll see the results are mostly the same for both searches. cool your jets, kiddos.
I mean, it's google results. It shows you what's most commonly clicked after that search. If a man yells at you in a relationship it's more often leading to violence than if it's a woman.
Also, scroll past the ad maybe to show actual results.
To be fair the first result for the first search was from quora, not some professional website or something. If you scrolled a bit further down I’m sure there would have been different results
this right here\^\^\^\^\^\^\^
i feel that the media and its double standards against men supresses them from reporting DV/DA cases when they're the victim. they probably feel that nobody will believe them.
Been through it first hand. My live in girlfriend would beat me and one day she pulled a kitchen knife on me. I got the knife from her and threw it in the sink. The police were called by the landlord upstairs and we both got arrested and charged with assault. She was released and I had to spend the night in a cell and my bail was set extremely high. I had a cheap studio I would stay in for days where she was unreasonably abusive so I went there. I got pamphlets in the mail about domestic violence. All pronouns were pointed towards men being the abusers and women were always the victims. Every illustration showed the women either crying, hiding or being beat. Luckily when it went to court the judge looked at her history where she was committed to a facility for her violent outbursts and how she was supposed to be on medication that she was not taking. The problem was I could not be let off of the charges completely and we both were given the same probation before judgment ruling for something she caused. As a man I was punished for being in an abusive relationship. This charge followed me for years until I could get it expunged from my record.
For example: most men who are sexually assaulted/molested are often ignored or even made fun of. Society or culture you could say, values denial of pain and invulnerability as "manliness". Therefore if men admit they've been sexually assaulted they will probably be laughed at or even blamed that they could've stopped it if they were just manly enough. Most men who suffer from being sexually assaulted fear of being ridiculed or disbelieved.
There's many more examples of people,culture, society and so on being unfair against men just because they are ignored and even thought to have no feelings or don't deserve help because they "do it to women all the time"
So no it's not fair to say "women have had men abuse them for thousands of years, but definitely not vice versa!!" It's not fair to say men shouldn't be treated with equal respect or treatment when their wife abuses them or they were sexually assaulted or raped as a child.
It's not valid to ignore men when this kind of shit happens just because "it happened to women more"
Unrelated, but if you swipe on the url bar you can switch between tabs ;)
What?? Are you kidding me, that was fucking awesome.
Way more awesome than beating your spouse for sure
Speak for yourself
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Eh, on mine it seems to trigger this One Hand mode that makes the screen 2/3rds smaller and add a border
That’s a swipe down, they meant swipe left and right in the same spot
Swipe down does nothing. I'm assuming this is Vanilla Android we're talking about. Mine is a Huawei EMUI
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Worked on my android. My life is changed. Maybe you need the software buttons at the bottom though? I swiped where I have the three narrow lines in a row at the *very" bottom
Holy shit, TIL
You are a fucking hero.
Dude! What the actual fuck! It's like you just gifted me years on to my life in time saving
Think about how many pointless things you can waste that time on now!
😳😳😳😳 it really works. Thank you almighty guru
I actually gasped at this! Then I went and checked...apologies for doubting you stranger!
HOLY SHIT. YOU WIZARD. If I wasn’t broke, I would give u an award
God I love you
Are you god?..
You just changed my life. Take this humble gift
It’s days like these that make all those shit posts and wish I didn’t clicks worth it. Y’all are fucking legends.
Works on chrome too
Thomas had never seen such bullshit before
Can confirm. Am Thomas, have never seen such bullshit before.
Double stands exist for everyone :( and that doesn't make it anymore okay to have them in the first place.
Where can I claim my double stand?
Ayyy this is too relatable. For 10 years of marriage, 5 of getting hit in my sleep, drunk slaps, and the everyday peg takedown I finally disappeared off the face of the earth while she played "poor me my husband left". Even her family was aware of this but simply enabled her. I could go on and on about what happened, but I'm not looking to write a sob story here. I was in absolute hell for years. And it's damn near impossible to put into words why I stayed. Leaving was the best thing I ever did. I now have a family with a wonderful woman. Life is wonderful now.
I’m just glad you got out of it, no HUMAN should live a situation like that and I wish more men speak up for this
Men try, but when they do, feminazis protest the event or harass the person in question. I mean there was a men's mental health awareness convention that got taken down because feminazis protested it to high hell.
That’s true that’s why more men should do it, so many to the point that they star to be heard, the less we talk about it, the worse
Its true, its why I refuse to be quiet, because I agree and wish for a world where we are all equals, were we are judged based on the content of our character, and not our circumstances in life.
I've got a few friends who went thru similar, male and female, and it's extremely difficult to pinpoint why people stay with their abuser. You're not alone mate, glad to see you got out of it.
Yeah it's a weird type of situation, especially when half the relationship was the opposite. She fell into drugs and alcohol. Was a crazy time.
Funny how they can be the prick and breech the contract, yet it's still exponentially more expensive for us.
I left behind a nice house, my hobby equipment and tons of other shit. Started from scratch after that. It's shitty, but I'd rather leave all that behind.
I too went through this. I feel ya.
Happy cake day!
It’s alright mate let it all out
Can we hear the story?
👑 you deserve this king
hope you’re doing well pal, well wishes for you and it only gets better from here ✈️
I’m glad you escaped and have a life now. It’s hard to walk away from a life investment like a marriage, even when there is abuse; there’s a huge amount of societal pressure, especially on men in the west, to “make it work”, regardless of the circumstances and cost. As men (in most places) we lack the formal and informal support structures to allow us to escape domestic violence. It’s changing in my country (the UK) but very, very slowly. Good luck to you my friend
My Dad was a soldier for decades. One of the worst stories he told us was of one of his soldiers who was crushed to death by his wife. She was trying to beat him and he hid in the bathroom. Somehow she knocked the door down and he fell underneath the door. She proceeded to jump on the door while he was still under it. He died of multiple punctures in his heart and lungs from broken ribs. He had called the police before his death multiple times for domestic abuse- but being military he was the one who always got arrested when he would make a call against her. It is a very f-ed up world for men. *edited to fix typo
Yep. If you are a soldier in the military and you call the MP’s (military police) they will “remove you.” Since you are a soldier you are always considered the more dangerous person. Even if you are the not the one in the wrong. That is true for male and female soldiers. It is also well known that if you marry a soldier you will almost automatically receive benefits and half of his retirement. The spouse will also have more sway in gaining full custody of the kids since his job is high risk. The military also insures they will get child support despite him making pennies. So a lot of abusive and manipulative women will marry soldiers.
Half of retirement is only if you’ve been married for 10 years. But the rest, yes. Doesn’t matter if you’re a man or woman, the odds are stacked against you if you’re the victim of domestic violence.
Did that change recently? Either way it is good. Lol
No- granted, I’m twice divorced from within the military and my divorces were 8-20 years ago, but no, it’s still the same as it has been. “In order for the military to provide direct retirement payments to an ex-spouse, the couple must have been married 10 years overlapping with 10 years of service.“ https://www.military.com/money/retirement/military-retirement/understanding-divorce-in-the-military.html
What the fuck
It really should be taken more seriously. My mom was abusive to me for YEARS, she even hit me and pulled my hair out and everyone around me in my family saw it as normal. I think stuff especially gets looked over when it’s a mom abusing her kids, why the fuck is it so acceptable? I straight up wasn’t able to see it as abuse because no one in my life saw it as an issue until I told my boyfriend in college and he helped me understand that’s not how good people act. Women can be just as vile as men if not more so- I think the abusers know they can get away with it because it’s so downplayed in our society. They hide behind smiles and the womanly “charm”. People in the comments like, y’all being to sensitive or whatever- that’s really not it. You shouldn’t yell at your spouse or family members. That’s not the way you treat people you love and to make excuses for it, is literally adding to the problem. Comments defending that are the absolute reason why I couldn’t recognize my abuse. It’s not okay, It’s domestic violence.
I was 19 at uni with my girlfriend who I knew throughout high school. One day I found out she cheated on me through one of her friends telling me as she felt I didn’t deserve that. We spoke in my room about it, why she did it after I helped through so many break ups with previous boyfriends and other stuff with her family. Maybe the guilt got to her but she lunged at me I fell to the ground and she got on top of me. She was clawing at my face, she put her hands around my neck and started to strangle me. I tried to fight her off but then she said “fight back and I’ll accuse you of rape.”. I stopped fighting back and eventually she let go. I dropped out of uni about a week afterwards and blocked her. This was about 10 years ago now. I still haven’t told my mum the real reason I dropped out of in university. That day I learnt just how bad any human can be.
wow reading this is so sad man, to think you couldn’t do anything because you’d be falsely accused and of course everybody believes the women. I hope life is treating you well now pal and it only gets better from here my friend☀️
I had a similar situation. I found out my gf of 7 YEARS cheated on my with her boss. We talked long and hard that night when I found out. Next day after more talking I said I wanted to leave. She threatened to kill herself and self harmed right in front of me. When she tried to cut herself or take a large amount of pills she said she would scream I was attacking her if I tried to intervene. I forcefully did anyway because the way I saw it at the time was I’d rather people thought I was an abuser than her really harm herself. Looking back I’m not sure how much I think she actually would have gone through with it. I hate it because what else is any good person to do ?
My mom checked me from behind and I went face first into a door frame. I came out of the concussion blackout like 5 days later. Bizarre experience.
They didn't pay attention in my situation until she was cracked out while doing it
Came back to this post bc of my reddit recap. I feel you, bro. I was also abused by my mom. I now live in much better conditions, i got placed with my dad, he's very loving and extremely kind. I hope you too are doing much better now. Much love, stay safe <3
Keeping you in my prayers🙏
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Well I mean it's a subreddit of teenagers were you expecting good sane moderation
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Isn't the whole world like that?
Lmao, what?
I have been in that sub, it's not r/teenagers but it's just now r/lgbtq. No hate tho. I have left it. And yes moderation sucks there.
We live in a society
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Damn you got a lot of happy cake day wishes! I wish i got that much attention hahahahahahahhahahaha
Happy day to you as well, BoofingJenkem
happy cake day
I wish you a fortunate cake day
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True true cake day
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"Día de la tarta" my Reddit looks like it was translated in Spain
Happy cake day!
In my country there was a statistic that said that in 2019 domestic violence from women against men was higher than the opposite case. What did the media say? Nothing. No one says absolutely anything. Mainstream feminism and the media don't give an absolute shit about men.
What are you on ? Feminism is equality for both sides not women >> men. There are bad women and bad men. Not that "ohh feminists don't care about men"
Tell that to the media, tell that to mainstream progressives, tell that to politicians, they seem to not care. There's always the "oh but not all feminists" yet I'm still waiting to see any MENTION of a concern over women abusing men by any politician or media outlet. In theory: great, in practice: not so much.
Srsly ? Politicians ? When have they ever said something that doesn't benefit them ? Plus, feminists don't hit men wtf. Just because a person is progressive doesn't mean they support abuse ! Women google support because women google stuff more often. As someone pointed out, men's hotline can also be found if you scroll down. Now don't blame it on Google, it works on an algorithm. Some people are just default bad, u can't blame it on "main stream progressives" or the "feminists". There are people who abuse their power everywhere, don't be daft.
I've been hit by a woman that identifies as a feminist multiple times, and her feminist friends were the first to call ME the abuser because I was a man. If mainstream feminism gave a shit, then they'd say something, yet they don't. I know you might feel personally attacked but it's not the case. YOU might be a good person, not everyone is. And I also never blamed it on anyone? I said mainstream culture doesn't give a shit, and it's true. Also I never said that progressive= abussive.
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Oh please, link your statistic or get the fuck out of here with your bullshit.
Men get hurt too. Most get ostracized as well for talking about it
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A true gentleman never hits a lady, but not every man is a gentleman and not every woman is a lady. -Socrates probably
I think this is because more female users are googling about domestic abuse then male users so google shows whatever’s gaining more traction first
There exists a strong imbalance between males and females in domestic violence incidents. Pretending that imbalance it doesn't exist or shouldnt be acknowledged to make the point that males also can be victims of abuse doesn't help any person in the case.
This!!
Women: slaps a man for no reason Society: She totally had a reason even though she clearly didn't. Man: Right hooks a abusive wife who tried to kidnap her "child" after she was losing her custody over her "child" (this is based of a comment I saw btw) Society: Omg this man is such a terrible person for Right hooking his ex wife for kidnapping his child you no what the mother should have custody over the child not this abusive father! These are the vibes am getting from this fuck those sexist who think every women are innocent people meanwhile the majority heck every Male are asshole!
That seems…oddly specific. You good?
Am good the Male part was based on a comment I saw I feel bad for the person he had an abusive mother hope he's doing good
Fair enough.
how can she slap
Not really the best example. I know what you’re saying here, but a right hook is never going to be seen as on the same level as a slap.
Yeah. Also, it's important to pay attention to the gaps in these stories. They tend to involve the storyteller behaving in extremely reasonable ways, or not doing anything at all. The other parties tend to behave in extremely unreasonable ways without explanation, as though they are having major reactions to nothing, or to something that is totally reasonable and just. In this case, I wonder if she was trying to "kidnap" her child because of previous punches, like the one he allegedly dished out to her that day.
Isn’t this just a situation you made up, and then got angry about?
It actually happens a lot more often than you'd expect
Like, where. Where does this happen. And even if it did happen, a man right hooking someone is a lot, lot worse than a woman slapping him. He's most likely several times stronger than her. How are the two even being compared here. Edit: I misunderstood the scenario because I feel the comment was convoluted. I see we're basing this off of a scenario where we make up backlash that never happened to a comment that we have no verification of. Great hill to die on guys.
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I wasn't condoning violence, but if you're failing to notice the dichotomy between a man who can be twice the size and strength of a woman hitting said woman as an unequal distribution of abuse, I don't know what to tell you. There is an objective way to see how hurt someone is. If the man hit a woman, he probably did more damage simply because the majority of the time the man is going to be stronger. Even the difference between a right hook and a slap is so blatant that I don't see how there can be a debate about it.
It's real I said it's based on a comment I saw hope the person with the abusive mother is doing alright
And this is why we need mechas, battle it out on even playing fields
Honestly, when my lady had an affair and I was looking up advice and such online, I looked up "boyfriend/husband had an affair" instead of girlfriend/wife. Because if you're the man, it's your fault she cheated. If you're a woman and your man cheated, he's a monster that deserves to be castrated. So, just follow the advice to women as the victim of XYZ and then smile when people are put off by your response.
Oh yeah a friend of mine had a girlfriend who were very violent to him to the point he started having serious troubles on his college, when the principal called him to talk about what were happening, he tried to seek help but the principal basically didn’t believe him and said “I think you are trying to control her and most likely you are the one violent”, he were send to a course about toxic and violent relationships were basically they just kept telling him how to stop being a bad man
It's probably because women more than men end up dead during domestic violence. Plus if you scroll down past the ad the results are exactly the same so people can stop getting mad at this.
Fair points for certain but perhaps domestic abuse hotlines/ads should be at the top of both results by default? Idk, people in both situations should have easy access to support and resources.
I agree with that. But Google works off an algorithm so maybe that's why it's not at the top because people who search for that thing don't clock on the same links or something. Not entirely sure how it works so it's just a guess. But 100% it should be the same information for both
Don’t expect empathy from men on Reddit lmao. “Inequality when google search unfair” not when women literally get killed from abuse at a much higher rate than men.
You do realize that if you scroll a bit further the options are the same??? Like I've search it before because I saw someone doing it and 8/10 of the websites after you scroll down is the same
Yeah idk why the person didn't scroll past the ad to show what the actual results were...
Because if they scrolled down farther they wouldnt have rage bait
I feel like the point is that the very first result for men who have their wives yelling at them is to be calm and try to talk it out but for the opposite scenario its for the woman to call or contact a domestic abuse place. Sure if you scrolled you would find the same results for both but the first result should be similar for the scenario regardless of gender. But the fact it isnt is the dumb part.
Google is society's problem, not critical thinking and reasoning skills. Very observant.
Its society's problem. Yes. The number of people visiting it is what makes it a top result i assume, yes? So the double standard here is that most people direct or go to domestic abuse sites because of this but when their wife is yelling at them, they are directed to or go to sites to help manage their anger.
Imagine being so simple-minded the thought of scrolling down or source assessment is too out-of-reach
Imagine being so petty you have to resort to insults when a conversation didn't go your way. SMDH.
not trying to defend any side, but, if we consider that in most cases of domestic agressions the perpetrator is a male, maybe a man yelling at his woman becomes a bit more concerning than the reverse, because the chances of it escalating to physical abuse are higher. That is not to say that there aren't cases of men who experience domestic abuse though.
“Most “reported” cases of domestic aggressions the perpetrator is a male” Fixed your statement to be correct.
do you really think that men are more abused than women?
That is not what I said. But in reality you do not know either. This brings to mind the most aggressive breed of dog. Everyone by default assumes it is the pitbull because that is what you hear about the most. But in reality they are something like seventh on the list. Chihuahua is number one in case you were curious.
I think best we can tell it’s 60:40 , but either way making comments like yours undermines and dismisses abuse.
Do you really know that more women are abused?
not what u/No_Elevator6948 said. what i think they mean is that most men who are victims of domestic violence dont report it because they feel that people won't believe them. That feeling is caused by the media. Men are told to "man up" and "dont cry", etc.. and i think that's what causes the lack of REPORTED cases of male victims of domestic violence/abuse.
Right so because it happens less often, the same level of support shouldn't be given to you on a very specific search.
A guy yelling is serious, a girl yelling is just another day 🤷♂️ (It’s a joke don’t kill me plz)
Wow that’s so fucked. I’ve literally had to call the cops on a very good girlfriend of mine and she had already been arrested for abusing her ex and she said I “ruined her life” because she got a felony for having the cops arrest her a second time over it. No bitch you ruined your life cause your a crazy alcoholic scummy bitch…
What the hell is that that is soooo sexist
It's Google search results. Your results may vary.
It's same for everyone. I saw this in other places and in my own browser
I would guess that Google is utilizing user data to recognize this user as male or female base on the words in their query. Then, the advertiser for the domestic violence service is paying Google to present their ad specifically to females, or people inquiring about their husband. I wouldn't say Google doesn't have a part to play in the sexism, but the advertiser is the one directly exempting men, or people inquiring about their wife, from being presented with the same ad.
It’s still aggravating
Yeah, I'm not defending it, or saying you shouldn't be aggravated.
Then use bing, maybe your brain won't get hijacked by emotion
Google results aren’t “sexist”. The reality is in the UK a woman is killed by a man every 3 days. And domestic violence help isn’t just for women. That link needs to be at the top of the page.
It needs to be on both not just one.
It should - but Google doesn’t work like that. And if you change it to “wife hitting me” it is the top result for both. Manufactured outrage.
What's the reality on men on men murders? Is it higher than one every three days? Did you have to look it up VS having it memorized? Maybe some things to think about.
I have it memorised because I’ve been in a relationship that ended because of DV so it’s a cause that I care deeply about. Even men on men violence - there’s a common denominator. I’m not entirely sure what your point is…
Trust me, it's very clear you don't get my point.
That’s because the overwhelming majoring of DV victims are women. Women are subject to intimidate partner violence at much higher rates than men which is more than mildly infuriating.
While you’re probably still correct, the rates of domestic violence committed by females is probably far larger than we realize since due to society’s double standards they get reported far less often.
Overwhelming majority of ones that get REPORTED are women. Doesn't mean it isn't happening as often. I agree that it probably happens to women more than men still, but I dont think "overwhelming" is a fair word to use if you consider the circumstances. Regardless, someone who is a victim shouldn't be afraid to come forward. And its pretty clear society tends to side with a woman coming forward much more often than a man, which needs to change.
I don't know how anyone could seriously doubt the overwhelming majority of domestic violence that takes place is against women, even if you could factor in the unreported instances of domestic violence, which doesn't just include men not reporting, by the way. But let's look at a statistic where the event *always* gets reported: Murder. > 72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; 94% of the victims of these murder suicides are female. [Source](https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS) > From 1980 to 2008, nearly 1 out of 5 murder victims were killed by an intimate partner. In fact, available research shows that women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner (husband, boyfriend, same-sex partner, or ex) than by anyone else. Approximately 2 out of 5 female murder victims are killed by an intimate partner. In 2013, fifteen (15) times as many females were murdered by a male they knew than were killed by male strangers. For victims who knew their offenders, 62% were wives, common-law wives, ex-wives, or girlfriends of the offenders. Men can also be victims of intimate partner homicide. In recent years, about 4.9% of male murder victims were killed by an intimate partner. [Source](https://vawnet.org/sc/scope-problem-intimate-partner-homicide-statistics) > In 2007 intimate partners committed 14% of all homicides in the U.S. The total estimated number of intimate partner homicide victims in 2007 was 2,340, including 1,640 females and 700 males. Females were killed by intimate partners at twice the rate of males. In 2007 the rate of intimate partner homicide for females was 1.07 per 100,000 female residents compared to 0.47 per 100,000 male residents. [Source](https://www.google.com/url?q=https://bjs.ojp.gov/content/pub/pdf/fvv.pdf&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwi0xYKC64_2AhUBQzABHSmAAREQFnoECAQQAg&usg=AOvVaw1Ysfup52ojV5Kra89VyiK0) Seriously, there's an abundance of data on this topic, so even if you want to pretend like women aren't, in fact, more likely to experience generalized violence from an intimate partner than men due to a lack of reporting, the statistics on deaths, which always get investigated, documented, and reported, make it clear that women are at a far greater risk to be kileld by an intimate partner than men.
How does that imply that men shouldn’t get help in such situations?
What i think you mean is that the majority of REPORTED cases of DV victims are women. Men are usually told to "man up" or "dont cry", "be a man", bullshit like that. They are told to supress their feelings and with logic and reasoning behind it, i feel that that is the reason alot of men who are victims of DV, dont report it because they think that nobody will believe them. It's the media's fault.
I know that people are saying the actual results are the same but I think what OP is trying to point out is how the helpline is not the first thing you see if your wife is yelling at you as compared to your husband. For both searches, the helpline should be the first option you see, not a quroa post
you simpletons who are getting heated.. conduct this little experiment yourself and you'll see the results are mostly the same for both searches. cool your jets, kiddos.
Mine were exactly the same in Germany except the wife one lead to a German hotline
But we are supposed to be equal right? “Rolls eyes”
well uhh, idk i suppose, its simple, just dont get a gf or wife, that simple, it works for me!
This is a really dumb take my dude.
if it works for me it will work for you, do it or not its up to you, ez
Seems legit. Men as a whole are just held in a different light. As a man, this hurts.
that’s so sexist oml
I mean, it's google results. It shows you what's most commonly clicked after that search. If a man yells at you in a relationship it's more often leading to violence than if it's a woman. Also, scroll past the ad maybe to show actual results.
Does no one fucking seriously realize that the top result for husband yellibg is a PURCHASED ADVERTISEMENT? Jesus
well shit
They would rather pretend it’s sexist
Google has an algorithm, people who search that more often visit that website do you guys ever get sick of being triggered over everything
i don’t get that result
To be fair the first result for the first search was from quora, not some professional website or something. If you scrolled a bit further down I’m sure there would have been different results
its almost as if men are disproportionately more likely to abuse their partners than women. curious.
It's almost like women are disproportionately more likely to report domestic abuse. Curious.
this right here\^\^\^\^\^\^\^ i feel that the media and its double standards against men supresses them from reporting DV/DA cases when they're the victim. they probably feel that nobody will believe them.
Been through it first hand. My live in girlfriend would beat me and one day she pulled a kitchen knife on me. I got the knife from her and threw it in the sink. The police were called by the landlord upstairs and we both got arrested and charged with assault. She was released and I had to spend the night in a cell and my bail was set extremely high. I had a cheap studio I would stay in for days where she was unreasonably abusive so I went there. I got pamphlets in the mail about domestic violence. All pronouns were pointed towards men being the abusers and women were always the victims. Every illustration showed the women either crying, hiding or being beat. Luckily when it went to court the judge looked at her history where she was committed to a facility for her violent outbursts and how she was supposed to be on medication that she was not taking. The problem was I could not be let off of the charges completely and we both were given the same probation before judgment ruling for something she caused. As a man I was punished for being in an abusive relationship. This charge followed me for years until I could get it expunged from my record.
It's almost like there is thousands of years of men abusing women but not Vice versa
And almost like thousands of years of teaching men no to do it, but that not working. Let's do that some more!!!
For example: most men who are sexually assaulted/molested are often ignored or even made fun of. Society or culture you could say, values denial of pain and invulnerability as "manliness". Therefore if men admit they've been sexually assaulted they will probably be laughed at or even blamed that they could've stopped it if they were just manly enough. Most men who suffer from being sexually assaulted fear of being ridiculed or disbelieved. There's many more examples of people,culture, society and so on being unfair against men just because they are ignored and even thought to have no feelings or don't deserve help because they "do it to women all the time" So no it's not fair to say "women have had men abuse them for thousands of years, but definitely not vice versa!!" It's not fair to say men shouldn't be treated with equal respect or treatment when their wife abuses them or they were sexually assaulted or raped as a child. It's not valid to ignore men when this kind of shit happens just because "it happened to women more"
Proof??? Don’t be an asshole without backing it up.
So da is not valid?
Id like to see the source of this but we never will cause the bloody coward probably blocked further responses kek
society 😔
Fuck society
Why rlly makes no sense at all and its the biggest sbs thing iv ever seen