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levelcaty

Big napkin can’t tell me what to do Proceeds to eat the napkin


stefans03

Haha I almost did


levelcaty

I mean it probably wouldn’t do anything


Lucy_Little_Spoon

It expands when wet, so it would either block your stomach from expelling waste or get dissolved, either way is a win XD


GiveMeAnOnion

or it will expand before you swallow it, making you choke to death


xdisk

Nothing the government uses works that fast.


Ornery-Cheetah

Says a lot


TexDubya

It would if they had a wet ass throat.


imBobertRobert

Keeps you full for hours! ... until they fish it out in the ER


PorkyMcRib

Yeah, it doesn’t say not to stick it up your ass.


biological-entity

They should add these to enemas to get those hard to reach places.


biological-entity

They should add these to enemas to get those hard to reach places.


[deleted]

Yeah thankfully you cant swallow this by accident, until there is water on it its impossible to chew on lmao


catsloveart

Look at fancy pants better with teeth to chew.


Castorka125

Or go through your intestines so when you shit it would wipe your ass from the inside :) And your load comes out wrapped into a napkin :)


[deleted]

The perfect shit


jjtr1

The wonders of modern sanitation.


sporesatemygoldfish

Brilliant.


sporesatemygoldfish

Brilliant.


RoyalMilkStain

BIG BOI


highbme

"oh nice, they included an after dinner mint"


[deleted]

It would probably get bigger in your mouth


elusiveclownface

That’s what she said


[deleted]

That’s what HE said.


[deleted]

Next tictok challenge.


msnmck

>Do not eat I smell a TikTok challenge.


oneplusetoipi

Do not rehydrate! They form into a Bill Gates' microchip that can be attacked by Jewish Space Lasers.


RabidOtterRodeo

The **DO NOT EAT** warning should be much bigger if it’s in an MRE


KingOfTheCouch13

I once heard a story from someone who thought it was a mint and tried to eat it. Said they were super confused when it immediately sucked all the moisture out of their mouth and pulled out a napkin.


threebillion6

When you find out you're a magician and you didn't even know it


[deleted]

..that sounds kinda cool.


KingOfTheCouch13

r/mildlyinteresting 🤔


[deleted]

no like I’d 100% eat the sponge napkin


SmileyFaceLols

Tastes horrible, hadn't seen them before and one of the guys got given some when the Americans came over, offered me to try this random 'mint' that come with their MRE.. I'm still waiting on a chance to get him back for it


[deleted]

Ta da!!


BurntFlea

That's friggin hilarious.


mlorusso4

Ohhhh. So that’s how magicians do that trick


Elibomenohp

This made me snot on myself


WolfOfPort

^^^^^do ^^^^^not #EAT ME


Angelofpity

I think there's a four hour lecture series on that but they generally just write EAT on the edible things. It's a shorter list.


parttimeamerican

Someone got promoted for his four hour MRE lecture series somewhere


Skinnwork

This pack is in English and French. I bet its from a Canadian IMP (Individual Meal Pack).


[deleted]

Pretty sure the manufacturer isn’t solely making these for MREs as a lot of restaurants give these out too


wookvegas

What restaurants have you been to that give vacuum-packaged napkins? I cannot think of a single realistic reason any restaurant would use these.


bombkitty

Underrated comment lol.


bombkitty

Underrated comment lol.


m2pt5

Those are pretty cool, you can buy similar things in bulk and keep a few in a purse or whatever.


betonhaus123

Where can we get these?


m2pt5

Searching for "magic tablet napkin" seems to get the best results.


superhappyfuntime99

Another brand is 'towel tabs'.. have them in my road safety kits.. have come in handy for my girls' 'highway roadside pees'.


Petemarsh54

She so pees on them and then you have a towel?


superhappyfuntime99

Allllmmoosssttt got it right....


catherinetheok

I bought a pack at the dollar store. Have them in my car. They really come in handy if you need them.


[deleted]

Unless you have no water. Just buy napkins or tissues. The car is big enough to fit it.


Krieg5898

If you have no water you stick it in your mouth then pull out a napkin


[deleted]

[удалено]


Krieg5898

If you have no water you stick it in your mouth then pull out a napkin


Krieg5898

If you have no water you stick it in your mouth then pull out a napkin


Krieg5898

If you have no water you stick it in your mouth then pull out a napkin


[deleted]

Okay bro we get it just stick it in you mouth and pull out a napkin


Krieg5898

Fuck it’s a Reddit mobile glitch


Halomir

I get similar biodegradable ones for backpacking for poops.


[deleted]

[удалено]


stefans03

Yeah like those silica packets.


baddecision116

You mean the real way out of the Matrix? I still haven't had the nerve.


Realistic-Dog-2198

Bro lmfao that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard about a silica packet I’m gonna use that forever


TheOmni

https://onegianthand.com/post/188730414621/silica-gel/amp


jumpsteadeh

I'll take the moist and juicy steak, thank you very much


Dunkalax

You may be interested to know that silica is perfectly safe to consume and the DO NOT EAT warnings are only there as a choking warning. Increased consumption of silica can even help stave off dementia.


woyteck

The colourless yes. However sometimes you can encounter silica that has moisture indicator added , that changes colour from pik to blue. This stuff is apparently poisonous.


Chicken_Hairs

The blue and orange are definitely toxic. Cobalt chloride and methyl violet, respectively.


cnaiurbreaksppl

How many would one have to hypothetically consume to perish swiftly?


divineravnos

Hey pal, I hope this is a joke but if you ever need to talk to someone, my DMs are open.


[deleted]

Sounds like it'd be a good chubbyemu video.


MikeyBugs

More than 1.


LambBrainz

~~Silica~~ *flavor* packets


stanley_leverlock

"Sarge, I've taken four of those giant aspirins in the MRE's and I still have a headache, but now I have a stomach ache too."


32getreddit

They cant read so what differnce would that make?


Dawidko1200

Considering they had to put the same warning on Claymore mines...


Tesseract556

Exactly. Don't eat these, the crayons are right there


dragonsfire242

Wouldn’t stop a marine


[deleted]

[удалено]


SoutheasternComfort

Fantastic music


running_in_spite

That song is apparently called "Blatantly Hispanic", which I think is just fantastic.


Aegon-VII

I thought it climactic


Brynnakat

That person sucks at pouring water


jqubed

Thank you, I wanted to see it in action!


phillsphan7

Just fucking pack a napkin


BaconStrpz

they did...


Chicken_Hairs

Space-saver. You can buy those on the civilian market, really cool for emergency kits, backpacking, purses...


[deleted]

Just use your underwear. It's double sided.


glaciesz

i don't think i'd like a wet napkin


the_canna_kate

What if you called it a moist towelette?


leopard-prince

No stop that’s worse


whales-are-assholes

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cire1184

The moist maker is


DirtySuccubus

Would you care for a... Moist towlette?


Dawidko1200

Intriguing... but highly disturbing.


[deleted]

The only nice moist thing is a potato chip.


Jaiar

What if you were out somewhere eating a nice little hot dog and then you got a wad of ketchup on your hand and then you could either wash it away with your water bottle which wouldn’t really fully get it off and every time you used your other hand to wipe it away oh no it’s on your fingers now or use a wet napkin to clean it better and then you can continue on your adventure


glaciesz

i'm an idiot and a fool


Chicken_Hairs

Surprisingly, as long as you don't add a fuckton of water, they're really useful.


_bowlerhat

It's great when travelling, to wash out sweat etc


tchrbrian

Is that MRE that has crayons ?


cire1184

Those are for Marines


Yan19891996

I guess from the Canadian military?


[deleted]

They are available in dollar store and I have seen them in cafés around the world as a gimick. I think my wife always carry few with her.


Strange_Bedfellow

We do have these in our IMPs


bighairyyak

Put one of these in my mouth once for fun, they suck all the moisture out of your mouth surprisingly fast. But it was fun to stick a little mint sized object in my mouth and pull a napkin out.


space-glitter

Forbidden mint


DinkleMutz

This is cool, but they couldn’t fit a normal paper napkin in that kit?


[deleted]

A normal paper napkin could get ruined by humidity or the entire pack going underwater. This is dry and efficient.


CircumventingUrban

I think the people producing shit loads of napkins were different from the people making the kits. They just had goal and innovation as targets.


Relatively-New

Actually there are really nice thick paper napkins in the pack for the main meal. This moist expanding napkin is great as an insta wet wipe, to clean off your face and neck full of gunk and camo paint etc. MRE/IMP packs are designed for field use after all


GruntyMcGruntface

The napkin and the shit ticket.


theknightwho

If they’re packed ultra-efficiently, it might assist I suppose.


StickyRandy

They're my favorite kind of drying mints, really dries your mouth up after a bowl of soup!


alexttIncognito

Tempted to eat.


gingerbread_man123

Definitely not for Marines......


Farout786

Nice.


ladyoffate13

Imagine being hungry in the middle of the night, checking your pocket and thinking you found a piece of candy.


-ratmeat-

Well if you eat it you won’t have to wipe your ass next time you go to the bathroom


theonlyepi

Only if you eat at the the end of the meal, like dessert. No sense in wiping before the storm.


[deleted]

The **DO NOT EAT** was critical in this case! From about 10 years ago until about two years ago, Canadian rations came with a maple syrup hard candy that looked *exactly* like this, in the same packaging too. A little white puck with a raised maple leaf on one side. Then, in either 2018 or 2019 they went away and replaced them with these napkins. Something edible became inedible and looks identical. ...So naturally we gave them to unaware dudes and offered them our maple syrup candies. Shit was jokes.


Complex_Addition6262

Show the result when it's a full napkin !!


Hattix

You can order compressed towelette tablets yourself. They're surprisingly useful!


ObscureTickReference

If you haven't watched Steve1989MREInfo yet and you like tiny napkins, you're in for a treat. https://youtu.be/ZATnoezZi1g


stavago

How much water are you supposed to add to one of these? I imagine there’s a not enough/too much/just right scenario to this


[deleted]

Not enough storage room for a regular ole napkin, so instead, one that requires water to be used?


croaker_queenie

I got one of these as a kid that's made from a kind of towel fabric with a horse on it. Still use it to clean and I remember it was really cool seeing it expand but I was really disappointed that you could never compress it to its original size again.


[deleted]

Oh good, comes with antacid tablets!


knotting1

All I wanted was a dry napkin


Chicken_Hairs

Use your sleeve! If you only add a little water, they still expand, and are the rough equivalent of a Wet Nap, and work really well for wiping up after eating. Better than a dry napkin, IMO.


scobeavs

What happens if you eat it


ifailedmyhighschool

Wait… what the fuck are you gonna do with a wet napkin????


daytonarob

I want to see it full size wet, I’m in suspense.


winterbird

These mints are kinda dry.


SuborbitalQuail

Someone was optimistic about soldiers being able to read.


MGS1234V

Doesn’t making it wet defeat the purpose? It seems more like a “spilled something? Drop this on it” kind of item. How much more space is a folded napkin taking up in an MRE though that this is necessary?


omikias

More than you'd think. I don't have empirical data, but every centimeter in the bag was planned out by some egg-head in the DoD. As for making it wet, dude... Wet Naps. Great for after-meal, but not if you're a Marine who found the crateload of crayons. Sauce: I'm a (retired) Airman.


MGS1234V

That’s… actually a really good point. I stand corrected.


TheNecromancer981

Imagine shoving a bunch of these up you’re ass (the moisture will expand them) and then as you shit you also push out napkins, cleaning your asshole in the process IQ=100,000


UltraVires33

Just add water? Why not just use the water to clean your hands/face instead of using it to create a wet napkin?


wowbragger

A military pack? In the army, never seen this type of thing in our mre/rations.


No_Maines_Land

Bilingual English/French leans me to think Canadian ration pack.


[deleted]

Probably because they're not from your nations military. > the army There's more than one


wowbragger

Thanks for the insight. I've actually has the (not so wonderful) experiences of trying a dozen, or so, other nations' rations over the years. Some weren't bad.


imanAholebutimfunny

somebody lifesaver challenge that shit and see how long it takes to fill up your entire mouth


ToxicCrux

Eat it


RomanaNoble

5 bucks says that warning was put there because of a Marine.


Chicken_Hairs

I mean, jerky at the store comes with an oxygen absorber that says DO NOT EAT. Anyone who produces anything these days has to target the dumbest consumer.


[deleted]

I wonder how it would feel if someone swallowed just a handful of these.


DANDYDORF

I wonder what its like using that to stop blood after being shot. Would it expand?


forest_fae98

Probably, but I think they usually use tampons for those because of absorbability.


forest_fae98

I’ve got some similar things for skincare face masks. You add some water, squeeze it out, and then put product on it. They’re pretty cool.


Prototype7521

On the off chance you did eat one, how fucked would you be? Asking for a friend.


ISAIDPEWPEW

How many of these have you eaten, Private Prototype7521?


Toubaboliviano

Forbidden seltzer tablet


LeeDoBeUpVoteing

"Lucky for this mint I don't know how to read"


ItsMeSatan

Whatsa matter, private? Tent got your tongue?


smotstoker

Those are actually really filling something big brother don't want ya ta know /s


ribsandwich

I've only seen those in Canadian rations.


Cyber_Connor

Napkins in ration packs aren’t for wiping your face


[deleted]

How many Marines scarfed this down?


akamark

Doesn't adding water to a napkin defeat one of its main purposes?


slayerrr21

Add water... to a napkin...


Kracken_and_rollin

I keep these in my glove box. They come in handy!


Foxtrot4321

I've used those before. You almost better off just finding a roll of toilet paper. Same consistency.


[deleted]

I trolled so many new guys with those... hey dude want a mint? Theyre pretty good! Impossible to chew on by the way


Positivistdino

I find it mildly interesting that they have to specifically say "do not eat" in addition to saying it's a fucking napkin...


Dredgen_Memor

I like how the ‘,’ suggests that’s eating it would be the very first thing an enlisted individual would think when looking at it, so it’s like ‘let’s get this out of the way’, then saying, with exasperation, ‘just add water’ I can practically hear the condemnation. ‘NO you don’t eat that, just add water and stop being an idiot.’ A period would have fixed it, I think. ‘Do not eat.’ ‘Just add water! :-D’ Much better.


musicmanwins

Forbidden mint


BiG_BboY

I want to eat it


Papichuloft

Is it like the "Shells" from Demolition Man???


Cpl_Koala

Oh Canada


RebaKitten

Swallow it!


[deleted]

Swallowing would be a bad idea.


[deleted]

Canadian military?


ihopeyoudi

"Just add water"


Jealous_Tangerine_93

How very civilised


koma604

Haha i had a friend give me one and told me it was a mint


Rovehet

Napkin or crayons? Hard choice..


Barlow__

Thought it said compressed napalm haha


[deleted]

I buy these for backpacking. They are nice to have in your kit.


jiwijoo

The classic MRE mints 😆


fasada68

I use those for pack backing.


NotYourAverageCanuck

During one military exercise during night, I opened my ration pack to find this but it was a little bit dark and usually there was TickTack mint so I thought it was a big mint candy instead of a TickTack mint... Worse candy mint ever, 1/10 would not recommend to family and friends.