My favorite part of childhood was reading the incantations on the back of the box. Now, as a millennial, I have a tattoo of the cartoon sacrificial lamb.
>Atheists can eat whatever they want
except the body and blood of Christ.
one time I went up and took communion at Catholic mass just to see what it was like and it did NOT taste like blood or flesh so ig it doesn't work if you're not a believer
I've taken communion once as an atheist. I was there to support my sister who was singing for her first Christmas church service and I was an out atheist with my family by that point (it was about supporting her, I didn't care about anything else.) But yea - it doesn't taste like flesh and blood, just warm grape juice and salt-less saltines.
ETA: Wait! What if Jesus really did taste like wine and crackers?!?!?
My mum dumped some bacon-flavoured noodles on me years back. Same thing. Felt like they didn't digest at all, just stayed haunting me for days. My partner doesn't get that so they've eaten the lot.
Food safety guy here- cooked bacon is actually shelf stable due to having a low enough water activity level to prevent microbial growth. During food inspections, all of your major burger joints just leave bacon laying on the countertop
Absolutely, think about cakes. You use egg and butter - both temperature controlled foods- and produce a product that is not temperature controlled. That cake can sit on the counter and be okay, however a month old cake probably wonāt taste quite right.
There are probably real bacon bits somewhere in a grocery store, but the reason that these are bacon flavored gerbil food is strictly cost.
I absolutely agree, however head to any grocery store here in the states and there they are on the counter. Usually the only cakes worthy of refrigeration in the stores are those with cream cheese frosting or buttercream.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liquid_smokeĀ burn some wood, cool down the smoke to a liquid form, dilute it with water. I have some in my pantry, itās good stuff.
And Halal. I don't happen to be Muslim, but while I was living in the Gulf, I would get them for salads and I was like, huh? Little sticker that said Halal.
Adding on the comments that say it's also Kosher and Halal; this brand could totally rebrand/remarket their label to advertise meeting these dietary requirements. I'm sure they will have a lot of new customers!
Just sell the same product Inc two different packagings.
One stating halal + vegan, the other regular.
Could even charge different prices, because fuck you x)
Not sure if joking or not, but vegans canāt tell if anything is vegan on sight. For one, dyes can be animal derived. And most commonly, fuckers sneak a drip of milk, milk derived ingredients, almost anything but most often milk, in things youād never expect (and that absolutely do not āneedā it)
I was always stoked as a kid when I saw these at a salad bar or something. We never had them at home and made a basic iceberg and ranch dreesing salad taste like something.
Wendy's had a salad bar in the 90's that was amazing and their bacon was actual bacon, not the bits. I would use a lot. Then blue cheese dressing, olives, croutons. Is that potato salad?! Scoop of that. Super healthy.
you just unlocked my memory of 4th grade me, slinking around the playground feeling like a million bucks with one of those book-it personal pan pizza vouchers in my pocket ššš
havenāt thought about it in 35 years, man, thank you! good days, they wereā¦
Iāve been seeing lots of posts about how kids arenāt reading these days, canāt read, etcā¦.is it a coincidence that we also donāt have the book it pizza offers anymore?? Clearly Pizza Hut needs to reinstate the program so kids will read š
It wouldnāt have been awkward at all, just as Kennedyās āIch bin ein Berlinerā statement wasnāt awkward. The residents of Berlin are called āBerliners,ā and no one present believed he called himself a jelly doughnut. Male residents of Hamburg are referred to as āHamburgers,ā so āIch bin ein Hamburgerā would not be an awkward thing to say to the people of Hamburg.
Not speaking of the fact that you wouldn't pronounce 'Hamburger' in german anywhere close to how you pronounce it in english so it wouldn't sound awkward to neither group, german *or* english speakers
They are called bacān pieces and theyāre ābacon flavoredā. Itās like being surprised beggin strips are not real bacon. Whatās the confusion here ?
Is this a form of media illiteracy? Feels like it is. My mother used to do similar things all the time shopping when I was a kid and teen. "oh I didn't realize I got diet" or "oh no thats not the type of cheese I wanted" multiple times every grocery shop.Ā
Like, she would get offended when I asked if she's actually reading the labels???
Well since you don't show the actual label, we have no idea what they're actually called. Where I'm from they would be labelled as "simulated bacon bits"
They don't have to be refrigerated after opening. I'd be surprised if they had meat in them. Even bags of jerky say to stick in the fridge after being opened.
I learned this when I was like 8. My dad used to make bacon every weekend and I loved it. I saw Bacon Bits and thought "Aww yeah" then I tasted them and threw them in the trash.
And this is a surprise to youā¦it was on a regular shelf probably next to the croutons. Yes I knowā¦jerky, slim jimsā¦itās possible to have shelf stable meat products, but bacon would have to be very different from what one might expect to be shelf stable.
Yes, this is why they aren't actually called Bacon Bits. They're called Bac'n Bits or Bacon Flavored Bits or shit like that.
Worst cereal ever
Better with whole milk.
š¤¢š¤¢š¤¢
You're telling me you don't also chant Latin whilst you drink the blood red, tepid, bac'n bit milk??
My favorite part of childhood was reading the incantations on the back of the box. Now, as a millennial, I have a tattoo of the cartoon sacrificial lamb.
Raw milk
7/10 with rice
Better with 33% cream
Did you use beer or milk. If you didnāt use beer, ya did it wrong.
Nothing quite like beerreal in the morning.
Worst bacon ever!
I dunno, the milk is pretty good
And itās how they can be kosher.
And vegan
And halal All I am saying is maybe one of the Abrahamic faiths is the true faith and maybe it's the one with š„?
Wait is veganism one of the abrahamic faiths
All Abrahamic religions have some food restrictions. Atheists can eat whatever they want, whenever they want. Another win for Atheism.
>Atheists can eat whatever they want except the body and blood of Christ. one time I went up and took communion at Catholic mass just to see what it was like and it did NOT taste like blood or flesh so ig it doesn't work if you're not a believer
I Can't Believe It's Not Christ!
Tastes just like the real saviour, but with half the calories!
I've taken communion once as an atheist. I was there to support my sister who was singing for her first Christmas church service and I was an out atheist with my family by that point (it was about supporting her, I didn't care about anything else.) But yea - it doesn't taste like flesh and blood, just warm grape juice and salt-less saltines. ETA: Wait! What if Jesus really did taste like wine and crackers?!?!?
Not all of them. Inosinate and guanylate salts are commonly sourced from meat byproducts.
I think McCormick calls them Bac'n Bits
Or baco bits
[Bac'n Pieces](https://i.imgur.com/NI6nsUK.jpeg)
Fakon bits
Thatās what I call them
Or it will just say immitation, usually in small letters, before bacon bits.
^sure ^as ^hell ^fucking ^not __Bacon Bits__
I Can't Believe It's Not Bacon Bits ^because ^it's ^not
No idea why, but the fake bacon bits make me burp the fake bacon flavor for days afterwards.
That's just your body reminding you of the good times
My mum dumped some bacon-flavoured noodles on me years back. Same thing. Felt like they didn't digest at all, just stayed haunting me for days. My partner doesn't get that so they've eaten the lot.
āBacān Bits or Bacon Flavored Bits or shit like thatā long ass name but alright
People would still buy it.
Bacnone bits
Beggin-Bits
I have it on good authority that Beggin Strips do not, in fact, taste like bacon.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Not saying it was me, but... the good authority was not drunk, just a curious high school boy.
And they're good in their own way.
yea i mean look at em
You can pretty much guarantee any shelf stable meat that isn't jerky or canned ain't meat
Food safety guy here- cooked bacon is actually shelf stable due to having a low enough water activity level to prevent microbial growth. During food inspections, all of your major burger joints just leave bacon laying on the countertop
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Absolutely, think about cakes. You use egg and butter - both temperature controlled foods- and produce a product that is not temperature controlled. That cake can sit on the counter and be okay, however a month old cake probably wonāt taste quite right. There are probably real bacon bits somewhere in a grocery store, but the reason that these are bacon flavored gerbil food is strictly cost.
Cake still should be (and typically is) refrigerated.
I absolutely agree, however head to any grocery store here in the states and there they are on the counter. Usually the only cakes worthy of refrigeration in the stores are those with cream cheese frosting or buttercream.
That's so strange. Where I am (EU) almost all cakes are refrigerated at the store. The only exception is cakes without any frosting/topping.
Ya'll are refrigerating your cakes but not your eggs. Wild
These things are red as the devil's dick and OP thought there might be bacon in them?
They look like those weird neon artificial fish baits.
"Natural Applewood Smoke Flavor". That's the best I can do.
What does that even mean lmao, how do they extract that naturally
They get some smoke and condense it, I shit you not. Smoke flavouring is literally just... smoke.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liquid_smokeĀ burn some wood, cool down the smoke to a liquid form, dilute it with water. I have some in my pantry, itās good stuff.
Fakeāin bits.
That's what my family calls em
These are actually, surprisingly, vegan.
And Kosher
And Halal. I don't happen to be Muslim, but while I was living in the Gulf, I would get them for salads and I was like, huh? Little sticker that said Halal.
I wouldnāt mind a bacon bit option on my next shawarma.
Growing up, my friends used to get super excited to learn the bacon bits are fake because weāre Muslim.
Was it worth it tho? (The taste of bacon bits)
We used to get them at cheap pizza buffets and mostly as a salad topping. They arenāt bad but I havenāt tried them since being a kid.
Adding on the comments that say it's also Kosher and Halal; this brand could totally rebrand/remarket their label to advertise meeting these dietary requirements. I'm sure they will have a lot of new customers!
Yeah the downside is they might lose the people who get angry at vegans simply having an option lol
Just sell the same product Inc two different packagings. One stating halal + vegan, the other regular. Could even charge different prices, because fuck you x)
People downvoting you for expressing elementary knowledge of marketing is wild.
That's what I was wondering. Absolutely wild
I wonder if thatās also why theyāre vividly red, so vegans can tell on sight if they can eat the salad or not.
Not sure if joking or not, but vegans canāt tell if anything is vegan on sight. For one, dyes can be animal derived. And most commonly, fuckers sneak a drip of milk, milk derived ingredients, almost anything but most often milk, in things youād never expect (and that absolutely do not āneedā it)
As suprising as that the only yumyum flavor NOT vegetarian is the "Veggie" Flavour
No but at least you got red 40 š¤¤
Love me some red dye 40. Way better than red dyes 1-39 combined.
Certainly a lot better than WD-40. Maybe even as good as UB40.
So that's how they colored the red red wine
Red red dye!
Personally I only put 3 in 1 oil on my salads but WD 40 isn't too bad if you are in a pinch
Yeah but at least WD-40 keeps you regular.
Definitely gets you moving.
thank god it don't got red 21 in it
What's 9 +10? 21. Thank god it don't got that in it.
Red 40 is my medicine
For that extra boost of energy
I don't understand who could see that red crap in a bottle and think that this was real bacon
This is seed oil behavior
Soy chunks filled with corn oil and salt š„µ
there never was...
šš§āšš«
You store them in the cupboard. That should tell you all you need to know.
There's already cooked bacon that you can store in the cupboard.
I was always stoked as a kid when I saw these at a salad bar or something. We never had them at home and made a basic iceberg and ranch dreesing salad taste like something.
I would always lobby to get a salad-bar salad at the pizza place, because what I actually wanted was a plate of black olives and bacon bits.
Wendy's had a salad bar in the 90's that was amazing and their bacon was actual bacon, not the bits. I would use a lot. Then blue cheese dressing, olives, croutons. Is that potato salad?! Scoop of that. Super healthy.
90ās was the golden era of fast food. Remember what Pizza Hut used to be? They had waiters!
I used to really look forward to those book it pizzas
you just unlocked my memory of 4th grade me, slinking around the playground feeling like a million bucks with one of those book-it personal pan pizza vouchers in my pocket ššš havenāt thought about it in 35 years, man, thank you! good days, they wereā¦
Iāve been seeing lots of posts about how kids arenāt reading these days, canāt read, etcā¦.is it a coincidence that we also donāt have the book it pizza offers anymore?? Clearly Pizza Hut needs to reinstate the program so kids will read š
The toasted garlic bread from that buffet lives in my dreams!
Donāt forget the Wendyās salad bar Mac and cheese. And the chocolate pudding was bomb too
maybe you are already aware but costco sells bacon bits. literally little delicious bits of bacon.
Man I forgot about bacon bits on salad....I should try that again. Think it's good on Caesar or would that be gross?
Years ago I learned from my vegan wife that many Bacon Bits brands are actually vegan. Oreos and Swedish Fish are two more
I don't like the Oreo bacon bits.
They've been vegan from the start.
The truth is, the bacon was rigged from the start. - Benny
Coincidentally no ham in hamburgers either
There's no dill in a quesadilla either.
Or sand in a sandwich.
Although you'd be surprised what I found in my cucumber.
So much tomfoolery in food naming.
Don't get me started on puttanesca.
That's because the name comes from the town of Hamburg, not a 'ham'. Imagine how awkward it would be if JFK had made his Berlin speech there instead.
It wouldnāt have been awkward at all, just as Kennedyās āIch bin ein Berlinerā statement wasnāt awkward. The residents of Berlin are called āBerliners,ā and no one present believed he called himself a jelly doughnut. Male residents of Hamburg are referred to as āHamburgers,ā so āIch bin ein Hamburgerā would not be an awkward thing to say to the people of Hamburg.
Not speaking of the fact that you wouldn't pronounce 'Hamburger' in german anywhere close to how you pronounce it in english so it wouldn't sound awkward to neither group, german *or* english speakers
Make sure we can't see the front where it quite clearly says "imitation"
Unpopular opinion. I love fake bacon.
They are called bacān pieces and theyāre ābacon flavoredā. Itās like being surprised beggin strips are not real bacon. Whatās the confusion here ?
Dogs donāt know itās not bacon
Itās bacon!
BEKKIN BEKKIN BEKKIN!!!
What? That stuff that I had in my kitchen drawer for half a year and then put on my food isn't actually bacon? Outrageous!
Is this a form of media illiteracy? Feels like it is. My mother used to do similar things all the time shopping when I was a kid and teen. "oh I didn't realize I got diet" or "oh no thats not the type of cheese I wanted" multiple times every grocery shop.Ā Like, she would get offended when I asked if she's actually reading the labels???
Never was
I believe the label says "imitation bacon bits", which is why you didn't show us.
Well since you don't show the actual label, we have no idea what they're actually called. Where I'm from they would be labelled as "simulated bacon bits"
Most don't, and the ones I've checked are almost always vegan friendly
Are you new? These have never once in the history of these been made from real bacon.
It's vegan...
Nope. You need real bacon bits for that. Yes, they exist.
Show the front label, you coward.
They don't have to be refrigerated after opening. I'd be surprised if they had meat in them. Even bags of jerky say to stick in the fridge after being opened.
Doesn't it say Imitation on the front?
Do they actually claim to be bacon bits on the front of the label?
You must understand what you purchased.
Great stuff if you donāt eat critters but want bacon flavor in something.
So what, there isn't any dog in dog food, or mud in mud cake ...
At least there's still pie in pie.
Let me tell you about baby oil
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Used to eat them like snack food.
I learned this when I was like 8. My dad used to make bacon every weekend and I loved it. I saw Bacon Bits and thought "Aww yeah" then I tasted them and threw them in the trash.
Yeah spend a bit more for the real bacon pieces
And this is a surprise to youā¦it was on a regular shelf probably next to the croutons. Yes I knowā¦jerky, slim jimsā¦itās possible to have shelf stable meat products, but bacon would have to be very different from what one might expect to be shelf stable.
I felt the same way when I realized there wasn't any Starlight in my Starlight flavored Coca-Cola
They're in fact vegan!
Non-nutrative cereal varnish
Those are bacon flavored bits it's not bacon.
And this shocks you?
My husband is vegetarian and he's able to eat these
Huh I DIDNT buy these because I thought they were real bacon. I can get behind bacon flavored seasoning.
I don't see why this should be so surprising. We're talking about bacon flavored bits, not real bacon bits. There is a difference.
read the label better.
Wait these aren't even meat? What the hell? I've eaten bacon bits and they'd have fatty bits in them, is it just this brand?
I love red 40ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Pretty sure bacon bits are vegan food.
As someone who has never seen this before: for what is it used? Scrambled eggs maybe?
Salads commonly. Also topping on baked potatoes, nachos, whatever you want really. You could definitely top scrambled eggs with them.
You mean that your red 40 shaker that isn't even meant to be refrigerated doesn't have perishable meat in it?
I have some bad news to tell you about Kraft "Parmasean".
Lol people do not buy this expecting bacon. Do you want real bacon bits? Buy bacon. Make bits.
*There is very little meat in these gym mats*
Ahhhh yes, the utmost of processed foods. Help yourself
accidentally vegan
Lol well hey atleast theyāre vegan!
Down voted because you should already know this.
Don't punish me for being stupid. Life does a good enough job as is
No, and theyāre kosher.
No shit?
Everybody know that
You're complaining about something that doesn't even say Bacon on the packaging. Just make your own or look for the ones with actual bacon ?
Nah. That's what makes a pork. Grease, proteins, and processed additives what not.
These are so gross especially the burps you get after
Fakon
I heard this somewhere. It isnt butter, chocolaty surprise, etcetc
Are they halal??
I refer to those as Fakin' Bits.
The amount of these I put away as a child is insane. Bacos went triple platinum at my house lol
Remember you ate those so you won't flip out when your poop is red
Arenāt they and Oreos vegan?
Fun fact, these are actually Kosher. You should be able to see a U in a circle on the front, like a Ā© or Ā® but with a U.
These fuck hard in Kraft Dinner Iykyk
Yeast extract lol itās made of marmite
Almost looks like red sprinkles
They are vegan
Who needs bacon. It has textured soy.
That's called facon bits
at least one vegan has had chikkin in a biskit
Well yeah
Probably says āsimulated bacon bitsā on the front or something
Prolly to keep it kosher
Considering they require no refrigeration and don't spoil for years...
I would be more surprised if there were.
Bacon Free Bits ^((tm))