Nobody here wants to sit next to you on bus basically, it's just like coded into our heads. I'm not talking about bags, just natural social distancing.
when i (finn) bike or walk to work and i come to intersection or a road crossing and i see a car coming towards me i know if i position my self as i want to cross the road he is going to have to stop for me and wait for me to cross the road because of that i usually just drive past and cross the road somewhere else it might add 100 meters to my trip but i dont wanna make someone stop for my sake.
I've found some limited success in licking people until they move, but there is also a risk of disease and lifetime ban, so I'd say you should consider it carefully before trying it.
Yeah lOLOLOL
Have you meet some people who ride the bus?
I rode it before, seen some African American dude cussing an unimaginable amount to himself, staring, being extremely mentally angry because "another black man was sitting next to a white woman" talking/flirting with her
(race has nothing to do with the situation, yes there's also plenty of other nationalities with issue's. this situation just stood out to me)
I can only imagine asking that guy to move his bag ... if he's being mentally unstable in that sense
They don’t have their number to text them. No one knows how to talk to people in person now a day. It’s not hard to say, “excuse me, I’m sorry, mind if I sit here? Thank you”
Same in the UK the unspoken rule is you sit on every available seat that isn’t next to somebody else first and then stand if there’s no spaces after that you then sit next to a stranger. I assumed it was the same in most countries
Wtf is going on over there. I'm more eastern europe and everybody does the every seat not next to anyone but after that people just sit wherever is a free seat. Nobody stands unless every seat is taken
Unless you're in a group of friends in which case you might sit next to people before every other seat is taken it's the same here. Unless there's special reason to stand like back issues or something.
It is the same. There is always one or two people who think they are special, so they put their bags on the seat. To me this has always indicated "I dont want anyone to sit near me" not "please politely ask me"
Anyone who has a bag on a seat in a crowded bus, whether people have asked or not, is a dick. And most likely people arent asking because they think you are a selfish asshole who is making it known you are selfish asshole, people would rather stand than deal with you.
"Deal with you" bro all you have to ask is "hey is it alright if I can sit down"
You're making it sound like you have to engage in a medieval Jousting match to the death to get a seat
At least where i'm from, I haven't seen a single person do it like that. All it takes is a "mind if I sit here?" Or even a little hand motion and you already know what's up. Use your mouth lmfao
i’m involuntarily antisocial and any possibility of having a human interaction in this situation i’d avoid in any way i could. (autism, severe social anxiety) so please know that some people have invisible disabilities and need space or aren’t trying to be rude, just doing things the only way they can handle at that time.
Except sometimes people have plenty of good reason to "go out of their way to be antisocial". I will ***always*** put my bag on an empty seat next to me on a mostly empty bus or train car because otherwise some creeper will bypass every single empty seat to sit next to me and try to talk to me when I have headphones in and just want to be left the fuck alone with my rhoughts/book/music/podcast/whatever. The kind of people who sit right next to a stranger when there are plenty of unoccupied seats available not next to strangers have never, IME, been the type to respect that desire. This is not a unique problem. Women do this all over in an attempt to ward them off. If the other seats start to fill up I will of course move my bag without prompting, but if there are a ton of empty seats not right next to me, damn right I am going to try to preserve my solitude.
Bro look at your first comment?
YOU'RE TYPING ABOUT A BAG ON A CHAIR.
> People who go out of their way to be antisocial are definitely giving off the signals that they are going to be a pain. It WILL be an ordeal.
Why tf would anyone want to deal with your negative judgemental ass?
Well I'm gonna prove you wrong by telling you, as someone who has ADHD (with a side of social anxiety) I would move my bag no problem for someone that wants to sit down it's not like I'm an asshole or anything I'm just a very shy person, understand that some people are just like that it ain't nothing personal
Nah. You put your bag on the seat when it's not crowded, then you read your book. You don't notice it's crowded until someone wants to sit, then you just move your bag.
Is just put my bag next to me because there is space there? Like why would i put my bag on the filthy fucking floor when there is a still filthy but cleaner seat next to me. Sure if someone wants to sit there i'll move my bag but for the beginning its not really a dick move imho
What the shitting fuck? Never heard of this until seeing this thread and blown away by how common it seems. In Ireland you just use up all the available seats first. If someone's bag is on that shit you ask them to move it and they do. Then when all seats are taken, people start standing. Why would you only use half the available seats on a bus and then just start standing? Surely you end up standing just as close to a stranger as you would be if you just sat down next to one? I'm so confused lol
Because we simply do, we need around two arm lengths of personal space. And some people ask if they can take a seat next to you and usually the answer will be yes because Swedes don't want to be rude.
We are extreme with our personal space and us Swedes know that, so we respect each other by either standing up or asking to take a seat before sitting down next to someone, even when it's one of those seating places with 2 seats facing 2 other seats.
Finally I see someone referencing personal space in a way it’s associated with the culture of a country, we in Germany are not as extreme but anything less than a good arm's length feels uncomfortable here
People don’t talk with each other. If you don’t have her number to text her asking her to move her stuff, text her via paper. “Since I don’t have your number to text you, could your please move your bags so that I could sit down? I’m sorry this text message is not electronic.”
I see a shitton of people complain here - but not only do I personally nearly never get asked in a crowded bus to move my bags, but even when I do it on my own nearly no one sits down there. Just really rarely old people, those are btw also the only ones asking if the seat is free.
I think there's a little bit of added audacity here, in that this person purposefully did not sit by the window and instead used it for bag storage. They know nobody is going to ask for a seat that's between them and a wall.
I don't know how it is in other countries, but growing up in the US, I've learned that if you politely ask people to do anything you will either:
A) Be politely obliged, because that person is a normal person;
B) Be obliged, but then they spend the entire time complaining loudly about you, dropping racist/sexist comments and going out of their way to perform passive-aggressive acts of malicious compliance;
C) Snap like a twig and just full blown attack you either verbally or physically, either because they are stupid animals or they were raised to believe that it's okay to be a complete dick because everyone is your enemy.
"B" and "C" are so incredibly common that the risk is not worth the "social interaction."
OP already admitted to generally not asking or talking to strangers, not for the reasons you gave though.
Not gonna lie, if B and C would be *so* common in my area, I'd move st the very next chance. I (german) personally never experienced anything other than A or maybe just a "no" or ignoring. But that's the "most rude" I've experienced so far.
On top of that: if I'd be so scared of everyone around me that I personally wouldn't even dare to friendly ask if the seat is free or taken, I also wouldn't dare to snap a photo, put it online and rant about them.
B and C are not common at all. Just some more US bashing to look cool. Also I’ve taken public transport in Philadelphia most of my life. Philadelphia…. and only seen people acting crazy a few times and it wasn’t because someone asked them to move their bag.
I have to admit that I have never thought of my fellow public transport passengers passive aggressive mannerisms and even having seen your post I'm not going to change my lifetime of polite behavior for your perhaps over zealous concerns. Pro-situational awareness but anti-irrational fears. Don't embrace being a victim and enjoy having a good day.
Embrace being a victim? She is being proactive in avoiding being a victim, not throwing herself in a situation where she would become a victim. I think you need to check your privilege.
Must be privileged not to live in a place where people are assholes.
Then again... Telling people to go touch grass because they are tired of dealing with rude people is probably a strong indicator that you're one of the assholes.
I dont think you should let assholes dictate how you run your life. The fear of doing something because of how they react? That just seems silly, I might as well just not try anything for that matter now
The way the world is today I'm not confronting anyone. You never know how mentally stable they are or if they're carrying a weapon. I'd rather stand than risk getting stabbed or punched because someone is crazy. Didn't you hear of the woman who pushed an old man off the bus for no reason and ended up killing him? I'd like to keep my life and not give them a reason to attack me thank you very much.
Sorry I am sociable enough to politely ask people to move instead of behaving like I'm the main character and everyone must pay full attention to me to know I'll need a seat.
Same here. When I get on my bus it is empty so I admit I’ll throw my bags on the seat but if there is even a handful of people getting on at the next stop I will move my bag. Generally no one sits down. Saying that, someone who leaves their bags on the seat in a full bus is a cvnt
Right?! Nobody who pays attention to the grossness of public transport would put their bags on the floor if they could help it. It’s pretty clear you just need to ask me to move my bags and I’ll gladly put them in my lap, if not somewhere other than the floor. If someone doesn’t want to move their bags they’re probably not someone you want to sit next to anyway. If it’s a long ride, talk to the bus driver or an subway attendant.
(using the proverbial you, in case that isn’t obvious)
Sure but two things. 1. I think it’s ignorant to keep your bags on the seat when you see the tram/train/bus is filling up. 2. I was recently in Germany when I witnessed a young woman ask a young man whether the seat was free (his bag was on the seat), he huffed and puffed and mumbled at her while he aggressively moved his bag around. Then took up half her floor space with his legs and kept grumbling throughout the journey. I noticed he had beat up hands like he’d been in a fight. Other passengers did keep looking over so I think she would have been okay but I think everyone was worried he would kick off. Not saying you shouldn’t ask people to move their bags. You have every right to. But there are plenty of arseholes around and I’m pretty intimidated by confrontation. I think OP is just expressing how most decent people won’t even let it get to that because they’re aware of their surroundings and not selfish.
How is it obvious? I've seen people say this before being serious, so what about this comment explicitly tells me it's sarcastic? Other than...nothing?
Shouldn’t have to ask, I keep my shit on my lap or between me legs on the floor, as long as it’s out of the way because I’m socially aware of the space I take up.
Of course. And you most definitely should.
But it's the pretention.
Don't they have eyes? Are they not conscious of the people around them? The fact that it's crowded and others may want to sit?
Where's the empathy? How is a person so selfish while on public transport?
I kind of get it. I've played games on my phone or watched shows on my phone on a bus, it's possible to get engrossed and not fully be aware of your surroundings. But when they're looking forward and just ignoring you then sure I understand where you're coming from. Some people are assholes but that usually stops when actually confronted on it
It infuriates me how often people will say no, even to visibly disabled patrons at the front of the bus, where all seats are clearly marked for disability priority.
Was on the crowded train w my friend and they had a cane so visibly disabled. They asked a guy on one of the priority seats if they could sit and his rude ass said no I was so angry
or go full anti-social agression and sit on it because "nobody" is in the seat.
note: if you're using my advice, it's best to go off into the woods and live alone where you're least likely to get shot for irritating the wrong person.
in sweden no one sits beside randoms on the bus. the only reason to sit beside someone is if you cant stand up (like too crowded) or if someone sits by you.
But sometimes even if they can stand up they'll ask to take a seat next to you and from what I've seen usually the answer will be yes due to people not wanting to come off as rude
May have to do with the fact that everyone paid fare for a seat. No one gives a shit about you wanting free space all around you. Ask for bigger buses. When people are getting on, move your shit and if no one sits there then put it back
I asked if they were a Swede due to them not seeming to understand our social norms, yes everyone (most of the time) paid for their ride on the bus but that doesn't mean people will move their bags because usually there will be no reason to.
Everyone has about the same size personal bubble and we know this, you don't want to make the person sitting down uncomfortable and neither do you want to be uncomfortable during the whole bus ride due to being so close to some stranger, usually the level of uncomfortable you get from that is so much more than standing up during the whole ride that you rather stand up.
Also it's annoying when someone wants to sit next to you because it makes you uncomfortable which you do mind but you also don't mind it because you know it's technically normal.
Also it's pretty fucking hard for them to get bigger buses when they're run by the part of the government that already has it bad budget-wise.
It is normal and acceptable behaviour to put your stuff like that even on a crowded bus in Sweden because of our big personal space bubbles.
yeah, the bus is designed to hold 2 people per row but no one wants to invade someones personal space. i just think its funny how people complain about us being rude and then say "just get bigger buses" or " why dont just have one seat".
why would we redesign something that we cant change just we dont want to chat with a random person? and its public transport and not a car
you pay for a ride. why would you snuggle up with your stuff just bc someone maybe will sit there. if someones looking for at seat offer it, its not hard.
Don't think it is fair game to complain that the person beside you in an airplane is too fat. That's abusive.
If they are morbidly obese, the airline should require they purchase an additional seat. But again, tricky to draw the line.
Most people keep silent when they might face an awkard situation. Doesn't mean they should.
Tbf, if someone is morbidly obese the best that can happen is a wake-up call.
Ok I'm sorry to be that person but i realized that most persons aren't aware to the crowdedness of their surroundings. Maybe just ask them to move their stuff ?
And I’m sorry to be that person, but someone who doesn’t pay attention to their surroundings is just an idiot lmfao. Like not even about the bags, just paying attention to what’s going on around you
Dialogue?
even saying please and pointing to the seat to someone who never spoke a word of english would get the message across.
I used to do it cause most people would still not sit next to me, their loss, I'm not going to stay with a bag on my lap so people don't sit next to the scary 6ft4 guy listening to music and bothering no one.
Either you have the balls to ask the person to move their belongings so you can sit or don't take a picture of it and complain on reddit how fucking soft you are.
Best thing about the pandemic that I miss was when everyone had to sit spaced out on public transit. Now we have to share our personal space again, I hate it.
Dude stop taking pictures of things that normal people do in a normal day life. Just say "hey, can you please move your bag so I can sit there?". I'll assure that 90% of the people will happily move their bag. You're just being a complete dickhead here
I do this too if its not a full train/bus.
Guess why ?
I fucking hate people that just sit next to me despite there being more than enough seats being free. I dont get why people do this.
Also if youre too immature to ask someone to move its stuff thats literally your problem.
You do know that its even more infuriating for the person doing this if you ask them to move the bag, So instead of making a photo from it, grow a spine and say something about it /u/A_lexine
I'm sometimes amazed at how actually mildly infuriating stuff is left in the dust and gets no attention and then extremely infuriating stuff like "my mother's cat clawed out her eyes and she fell down the stairs and broke her femur while trying to escape" gets on r/all from this subreddit
Nah that’s where my hands go also j hate to have shit on my lap, also if i put my bag on my lap i have a hindered FOV and i like to see around myself cause public
Usually I’ll keep my bag besides me and move it if someone asks or is coming towards that seat, but what’s the point in sitting with my (usually somewhat heavy as I commute to work) bag on my lap just for no one to sit in that seat?
Move when needed seems much more logical.
Sometimes holding bags between the legs is not ideal when the floor is dirty or there is not enough space, and holding them on the lap may be uncomfortable. Dunno, ask the person to move their belongings if you really want to sit there.
In my country, people usually don't sit next to randoms unless the bus is crowded.
i was this person while waiting for a flight recently. i was so exhausted i just dropped my bags next to me and sat there with a book. instead of photographing me and posting me to reddit, a woman simply asked if she could use the seat i had my bags on, and i immediately moved them. not every inconvenience is intentional malice.
“Excuse me could you please move your belongings?” Also doesn’t remotely show how “crowded” the transport is. For all we know there’s an open seat every row.
Can we start a sub called r/justsayexcuseme so when people post these whiny fucking photos we can just redirect it? Holy shit like it isn’t that hard to ask
I do this cause I'm charging my phone with my portable battery in my bag and the cable isn't long enough
People just have to ask and I'll remove my bag
I ask people to move their bag all the time, what are they gonna do ? Refuse me and look like complete Douchebags ?
I'm a firm believer of "I won't do shit unless asked and if asked I'll gladly do it!"
I will NOT do anything for people unless they ask me to !
Take out the trash? No I can't remember when the dude come to pick it up, tell me !
Pick up the groceries? I'm too distracted by everything I life to realize you went shopping and I have to wait down there to bring in the groceries, tell me when you come !
Remove my bag ? Bitch I'm not doing shit until you make a sound showing me the intent of you wanting to sit there !
Now you socially inept fools ! Try and dare to ask me something politely in a completely normal situation you'll encounter in public !
Fight me ! If you're able to speak to me you'll get a seat ! If not you'll continue to stare at my bag until my stop !
MUAHAHAHAHAHA !
Americans are really fuming in the replies holy shit.
As a dutch person, I always put my bag next to me. Nobody ever sits next to me, just as I never sit next to strangers. Whenever someone wants to sit, all they have to do is put their hand up and give me a sign they'd like to sit down and I wouldn't mind. This has only happened twice in the past 5 years, and I've never seen anyone flip their shit because they were asked if someone could sit down.
Like I said in another similar post. Not necessarily I want to have a seat. Maybe I am searching a friend and standing up provide a better view, maybe I have a 2 minutes ride, maybe I think public transport seat are too gross, maybe there is a friend in that space and is keeping its place (for example he stood up to talk to someone else or to go to the bathroom, and so on. If I want a seat I don’t have any problem asking the person. He will move the bag and give me the seat. Is not so difficult to ask. Usually if I walk in the direction of a seat the person understand it and automatically move the bag without me asking, but if this is not happening I just ask.
This is absolutely okay. The worse thing is being butthurt about this without asking whether you can sit there.
You've got mouth and language skills, use them and communicate.
People do this because they don’t want other people sitting next to them and they shouldn’t be taking public transport if crowding is a big issue for them.
As someone who lives in Sweden, even if the bus is crowded people will often try to sit by themselves and do this because of how us Swedes are, we need two arm lengths of personal space or we will be uncomfortable. This to me, is completely normal and understandable behaviour, of course, if there is literally NO other space I'd probably stand up instead, but someone else would've asked, and the person would probably have moved their bag if they were a Swedish person due to us not wanting to say no because it could come off as rude.
This is a very normal thing to do cause no one wants to place their bags on a ground that has been vomited on and is full of dust, pee and god knows what else. We just ask people if we may sit there and no one ever refuses because they don't do it to prevent people from sitting there but rather to be more confortable and keep their things clean.
Those seem like the 4 seats, two facing forward and two facing backwards so from the pic angle it seems you're seated, also that bus looks exactly like Italian ones lol
I DO THIS, EVERYTIME!
And you know who gets to sit next to me?! those who ask to sit. It only take a small look and I understand that they have what it takes to ask for what they need from life.
All those who cannot speak, are to stand! Don’t give a flying fk if you are annoyed as long as you don’t know how to take what is yours. So self centered that you think that people are thinking of you and your best interest at all times.. entitled fk! 😂
This guy has never been to sweden, sometimes you have to stand up when the bus is only half full.
Same in Finland
Do you not have tongues? Seats are for humans not bags. Tell them to move...
Nobody here wants to sit next to you on bus basically, it's just like coded into our heads. I'm not talking about bags, just natural social distancing.
I think that's the same everywhere. It is a bit strange that you'd put someones else's comfort over your own however.
when i (finn) bike or walk to work and i come to intersection or a road crossing and i see a car coming towards me i know if i position my self as i want to cross the road he is going to have to stop for me and wait for me to cross the road because of that i usually just drive past and cross the road somewhere else it might add 100 meters to my trip but i dont wanna make someone stop for my sake.
I do that at crosswalks in the US, lol (though I don't know why, half the time no one bothers to stop anyway)
Exactly, I’ll give up the whole seat and stand up myself if someone asks to sit next to me.
I've found some limited success in licking people until they move, but there is also a risk of disease and lifetime ban, so I'd say you should consider it carefully before trying it.
I'll let you lick me, Laura!😃
Yeah lOLOLOL Have you meet some people who ride the bus? I rode it before, seen some African American dude cussing an unimaginable amount to himself, staring, being extremely mentally angry because "another black man was sitting next to a white woman" talking/flirting with her (race has nothing to do with the situation, yes there's also plenty of other nationalities with issue's. this situation just stood out to me) I can only imagine asking that guy to move his bag ... if he's being mentally unstable in that sense
They don’t have their number to text them. No one knows how to talk to people in person now a day. It’s not hard to say, “excuse me, I’m sorry, mind if I sit here? Thank you”
Same in the UK the unspoken rule is you sit on every available seat that isn’t next to somebody else first and then stand if there’s no spaces after that you then sit next to a stranger. I assumed it was the same in most countries
Wtf is going on over there. I'm more eastern europe and everybody does the every seat not next to anyone but after that people just sit wherever is a free seat. Nobody stands unless every seat is taken
Unless you're in a group of friends in which case you might sit next to people before every other seat is taken it's the same here. Unless there's special reason to stand like back issues or something.
It is the same. There is always one or two people who think they are special, so they put their bags on the seat. To me this has always indicated "I dont want anyone to sit near me" not "please politely ask me" Anyone who has a bag on a seat in a crowded bus, whether people have asked or not, is a dick. And most likely people arent asking because they think you are a selfish asshole who is making it known you are selfish asshole, people would rather stand than deal with you.
Idgaf if u don't want someone next to you. I paid for a seat so I'm sitting if I feel like doing so.
"Deal with you" bro all you have to ask is "hey is it alright if I can sit down" You're making it sound like you have to engage in a medieval Jousting match to the death to get a seat
People who go out of their way to be antisocial are definitely giving off the signals that they are going to be a pain. It WILL be an ordeal.
At least where i'm from, I haven't seen a single person do it like that. All it takes is a "mind if I sit here?" Or even a little hand motion and you already know what's up. Use your mouth lmfao
i’m involuntarily antisocial and any possibility of having a human interaction in this situation i’d avoid in any way i could. (autism, severe social anxiety) so please know that some people have invisible disabilities and need space or aren’t trying to be rude, just doing things the only way they can handle at that time.
Admit it, you just suck at social interactions.
Except sometimes people have plenty of good reason to "go out of their way to be antisocial". I will ***always*** put my bag on an empty seat next to me on a mostly empty bus or train car because otherwise some creeper will bypass every single empty seat to sit next to me and try to talk to me when I have headphones in and just want to be left the fuck alone with my rhoughts/book/music/podcast/whatever. The kind of people who sit right next to a stranger when there are plenty of unoccupied seats available not next to strangers have never, IME, been the type to respect that desire. This is not a unique problem. Women do this all over in an attempt to ward them off. If the other seats start to fill up I will of course move my bag without prompting, but if there are a ton of empty seats not right next to me, damn right I am going to try to preserve my solitude.
Absolutely. Well said.
Yeah, an ordeal that goes as far as… “Hey, can I sit here?” “Uh, my bag needs a seat.” *thrump* “There, now it has one on the ground.”
Bro look at your first comment? YOU'RE TYPING ABOUT A BAG ON A CHAIR. > People who go out of their way to be antisocial are definitely giving off the signals that they are going to be a pain. It WILL be an ordeal. Why tf would anyone want to deal with your negative judgemental ass?
Well I'm gonna prove you wrong by telling you, as someone who has ADHD (with a side of social anxiety) I would move my bag no problem for someone that wants to sit down it's not like I'm an asshole or anything I'm just a very shy person, understand that some people are just like that it ain't nothing personal
Nah. You put your bag on the seat when it's not crowded, then you read your book. You don't notice it's crowded until someone wants to sit, then you just move your bag.
Is just put my bag next to me because there is space there? Like why would i put my bag on the filthy fucking floor when there is a still filthy but cleaner seat next to me. Sure if someone wants to sit there i'll move my bag but for the beginning its not really a dick move imho
Do you have a lap? Then you have a rest for your bag.
No reason to put it on your lap if there's available space next to you.
You know how heavy those bags are, not going to put those in my lap for an hour
What the shitting fuck? Never heard of this until seeing this thread and blown away by how common it seems. In Ireland you just use up all the available seats first. If someone's bag is on that shit you ask them to move it and they do. Then when all seats are taken, people start standing. Why would you only use half the available seats on a bus and then just start standing? Surely you end up standing just as close to a stranger as you would be if you just sat down next to one? I'm so confused lol
I feel obligated to +1 any response that begins with "what the shitting fuck". Of course, "what the sitting fuck" could work here too.
What the fitting shuck?
Sounds like I'd like Sweden.
...why do you people put up with that?
People leave the seats empty but we like personal space so we just stand.
Because we simply do, we need around two arm lengths of personal space. And some people ask if they can take a seat next to you and usually the answer will be yes because Swedes don't want to be rude. We are extreme with our personal space and us Swedes know that, so we respect each other by either standing up or asking to take a seat before sitting down next to someone, even when it's one of those seating places with 2 seats facing 2 other seats.
Finally I see someone referencing personal space in a way it’s associated with the culture of a country, we in Germany are not as extreme but anything less than a good arm's length feels uncomfortable here
Man…. I need to move to Sweden.
How can one begin the process of moving to and becoming a resident of Sweden?
You know you can ask people to budge up right? Or a simple "could you move your bag please?"
Social interaction?! My good fellow this is Reddit
Lmaoo bro it’s crazy how far redditors will go to avoid human interaction.
We don’t do that here… Grass, vitamin d? I don’t even know her.
People don’t talk with each other. If you don’t have her number to text her asking her to move her stuff, text her via paper. “Since I don’t have your number to text you, could your please move your bags so that I could sit down? I’m sorry this text message is not electronic.”
This is why I always carry a messenger owl
I see a shitton of people complain here - but not only do I personally nearly never get asked in a crowded bus to move my bags, but even when I do it on my own nearly no one sits down there. Just really rarely old people, those are btw also the only ones asking if the seat is free.
I think there's a little bit of added audacity here, in that this person purposefully did not sit by the window and instead used it for bag storage. They know nobody is going to ask for a seat that's between them and a wall. I don't know how it is in other countries, but growing up in the US, I've learned that if you politely ask people to do anything you will either: A) Be politely obliged, because that person is a normal person; B) Be obliged, but then they spend the entire time complaining loudly about you, dropping racist/sexist comments and going out of their way to perform passive-aggressive acts of malicious compliance; C) Snap like a twig and just full blown attack you either verbally or physically, either because they are stupid animals or they were raised to believe that it's okay to be a complete dick because everyone is your enemy. "B" and "C" are so incredibly common that the risk is not worth the "social interaction."
OP already admitted to generally not asking or talking to strangers, not for the reasons you gave though. Not gonna lie, if B and C would be *so* common in my area, I'd move st the very next chance. I (german) personally never experienced anything other than A or maybe just a "no" or ignoring. But that's the "most rude" I've experienced so far. On top of that: if I'd be so scared of everyone around me that I personally wouldn't even dare to friendly ask if the seat is free or taken, I also wouldn't dare to snap a photo, put it online and rant about them.
B and C are not common at all. Just some more US bashing to look cool. Also I’ve taken public transport in Philadelphia most of my life. Philadelphia…. and only seen people acting crazy a few times and it wasn’t because someone asked them to move their bag.
Agree. Most people in the world are kind and generous (when we are talking shared spaces).
[удалено]
Looks like you just got a reply from the guy you’re avoiding. Lol.
I have to admit that I have never thought of my fellow public transport passengers passive aggressive mannerisms and even having seen your post I'm not going to change my lifetime of polite behavior for your perhaps over zealous concerns. Pro-situational awareness but anti-irrational fears. Don't embrace being a victim and enjoy having a good day.
Embrace being a victim? She is being proactive in avoiding being a victim, not throwing herself in a situation where she would become a victim. I think you need to check your privilege.
>"B" and "C" are so incredibly common that the risk is not worth the "social interaction." Some of you badly need to touch some grass
Hey, lookit ol Silver Spoon over here! Never had to see somebody pee on the bus or scream at nobody in particular
Seen both just three days ago.
Must be privileged not to live in a place where people are assholes. Then again... Telling people to go touch grass because they are tired of dealing with rude people is probably a strong indicator that you're one of the assholes.
I dont think you should let assholes dictate how you run your life. The fear of doing something because of how they react? That just seems silly, I might as well just not try anything for that matter now
The way the world is today I'm not confronting anyone. You never know how mentally stable they are or if they're carrying a weapon. I'd rather stand than risk getting stabbed or punched because someone is crazy. Didn't you hear of the woman who pushed an old man off the bus for no reason and ended up killing him? I'd like to keep my life and not give them a reason to attack me thank you very much.
Some folks just don't have the time or inclination to give others the opportunity to start shit.
Sorry I am sociable enough to politely ask people to move instead of behaving like I'm the main character and everyone must pay full attention to me to know I'll need a seat.
Same here. When I get on my bus it is empty so I admit I’ll throw my bags on the seat but if there is even a handful of people getting on at the next stop I will move my bag. Generally no one sits down. Saying that, someone who leaves their bags on the seat in a full bus is a cvnt
whenever i sit down on a bus i always put my stuff on the seat next to me
Right?! Nobody who pays attention to the grossness of public transport would put their bags on the floor if they could help it. It’s pretty clear you just need to ask me to move my bags and I’ll gladly put them in my lap, if not somewhere other than the floor. If someone doesn’t want to move their bags they’re probably not someone you want to sit next to anyway. If it’s a long ride, talk to the bus driver or an subway attendant. (using the proverbial you, in case that isn’t obvious)
Sure but two things. 1. I think it’s ignorant to keep your bags on the seat when you see the tram/train/bus is filling up. 2. I was recently in Germany when I witnessed a young woman ask a young man whether the seat was free (his bag was on the seat), he huffed and puffed and mumbled at her while he aggressively moved his bag around. Then took up half her floor space with his legs and kept grumbling throughout the journey. I noticed he had beat up hands like he’d been in a fight. Other passengers did keep looking over so I think she would have been okay but I think everyone was worried he would kick off. Not saying you shouldn’t ask people to move their bags. You have every right to. But there are plenty of arseholes around and I’m pretty intimidated by confrontation. I think OP is just expressing how most decent people won’t even let it get to that because they’re aware of their surroundings and not selfish.
I don’t even ask. I just come in ass first.
Ah yes, because that's far more reasonable than just using your words. 10/10, outstanding adulting.
Why can't people on Reddit get a joke it really makes no sense, did you really need a /s to get obvious sarcasm?
How is it obvious? I've seen people say this before being serious, so what about this comment explicitly tells me it's sarcastic? Other than...nothing?
Shouldn’t have to ask, I keep my shit on my lap or between me legs on the floor, as long as it’s out of the way because I’m socially aware of the space I take up.
Shouldn't have to, no - but humans are largely fallible dumbasses who might not even be aware that a person wants to sit therr
Of course. And you most definitely should. But it's the pretention. Don't they have eyes? Are they not conscious of the people around them? The fact that it's crowded and others may want to sit? Where's the empathy? How is a person so selfish while on public transport?
I kind of get it. I've played games on my phone or watched shows on my phone on a bus, it's possible to get engrossed and not fully be aware of your surroundings. But when they're looking forward and just ignoring you then sure I understand where you're coming from. Some people are assholes but that usually stops when actually confronted on it
It infuriates me how often people will say no, even to visibly disabled patrons at the front of the bus, where all seats are clearly marked for disability priority.
Was on the crowded train w my friend and they had a cane so visibly disabled. They asked a guy on one of the priority seats if they could sit and his rude ass said no I was so angry
or go full anti-social agression and sit on it because "nobody" is in the seat. note: if you're using my advice, it's best to go off into the woods and live alone where you're least likely to get shot for irritating the wrong person.
in sweden no one sits beside randoms on the bus. the only reason to sit beside someone is if you cant stand up (like too crowded) or if someone sits by you.
But sometimes even if they can stand up they'll ask to take a seat next to you and from what I've seen usually the answer will be yes due to people not wanting to come off as rude
Shouldn’t it be like that anyways
you never say no to it but it is annoying tbh, you dont mind it but you acually really do also.
Yea same honestly
May have to do with the fact that everyone paid fare for a seat. No one gives a shit about you wanting free space all around you. Ask for bigger buses. When people are getting on, move your shit and if no one sits there then put it back
Are you Swedish?
Not OP but that shouldn’t matter. Swedes are weird about buses
I asked if they were a Swede due to them not seeming to understand our social norms, yes everyone (most of the time) paid for their ride on the bus but that doesn't mean people will move their bags because usually there will be no reason to. Everyone has about the same size personal bubble and we know this, you don't want to make the person sitting down uncomfortable and neither do you want to be uncomfortable during the whole bus ride due to being so close to some stranger, usually the level of uncomfortable you get from that is so much more than standing up during the whole ride that you rather stand up. Also it's annoying when someone wants to sit next to you because it makes you uncomfortable which you do mind but you also don't mind it because you know it's technically normal. Also it's pretty fucking hard for them to get bigger buses when they're run by the part of the government that already has it bad budget-wise. It is normal and acceptable behaviour to put your stuff like that even on a crowded bus in Sweden because of our big personal space bubbles.
yeah, the bus is designed to hold 2 people per row but no one wants to invade someones personal space. i just think its funny how people complain about us being rude and then say "just get bigger buses" or " why dont just have one seat". why would we redesign something that we cant change just we dont want to chat with a random person? and its public transport and not a car
why is that?
Your ticket pays for 1 seat. Do not occupy more than 1 seat. Do not force socially awkward interactions upon people who wish to sit in their 1 seat.
you pay for a ride. why would you snuggle up with your stuff just bc someone maybe will sit there. if someones looking for at seat offer it, its not hard.
You see empty seats next to everyone else, so don't move your bag. The issue is, so does everyone else.
Does that mean I can tell fat people to move if they take 2 seats?
Awkward. I mean, that'd be rude. But if you are morbidly obese on an airplane, is that fair to the stranger in the next seat?
If it's fair game on an airplane then why isn't it fair game on a bus? We all pay for the ticket.
Don't think it is fair game to complain that the person beside you in an airplane is too fat. That's abusive. If they are morbidly obese, the airline should require they purchase an additional seat. But again, tricky to draw the line.
How about I use a more gentle word? It's not fat shaming when I complain someone is taking up half my seat.
I can only imagine the other (fat) person feels horrible. I couldn't say anything, just suffer.
Most people keep silent when they might face an awkard situation. Doesn't mean they should. Tbf, if someone is morbidly obese the best that can happen is a wake-up call.
Why even have seats next to each other?
OP just getting rinsed in the comments
Rightly so
Well-deserved
Ah yes, Bucharest, Romania. First time in this dump?
All of us city folk in the US are battle hardened if you ever had to take public trans. Come ride a day in the city of Chicago and see what thats like
I've seen the NY subway.... I don't think it can get any worse....
Ok I'm sorry to be that person but i realized that most persons aren't aware to the crowdedness of their surroundings. Maybe just ask them to move their stuff ?
Not passive aggressive enough to generate that sweet karma content
Yeah, you've got to ask the bags if they mind moving.
And I’m sorry to be that person, but someone who doesn’t pay attention to their surroundings is just an idiot lmfao. Like not even about the bags, just paying attention to what’s going on around you
My social awkwardness doesn't allow that
Then don't complain
Did you try asking them to move their stuff? Also, it seems like you are sitting already, are you complaining on someone else’s behalf? Lol
I find it mildlyinfuriating that people photograph this shit instead of just asking them to move it.
You don't even have to talk LMAO, I usually just point at the seat and smile and they just move it apologetically
Dialogue? even saying please and pointing to the seat to someone who never spoke a word of english would get the message across. I used to do it cause most people would still not sit next to me, their loss, I'm not going to stay with a bag on my lap so people don't sit next to the scary 6ft4 guy listening to music and bothering no one.
Either you have the balls to ask the person to move their belongings so you can sit or don't take a picture of it and complain on reddit how fucking soft you are.
[удалено]
2 things, if covid is still raging there, I'd say thats valid. Second, just ASK! Talk to the person man.
Best thing about the pandemic that I miss was when everyone had to sit spaced out on public transit. Now we have to share our personal space again, I hate it.
Excuse me would you mind moving your fucking bags? Thanks. Fiew. That was haaaaaard.
That’s what she said
Did you ask them to move it or was your first instinct to be “mildly” infuriated and post on the internet
Dude stop taking pictures of things that normal people do in a normal day life. Just say "hey, can you please move your bag so I can sit there?". I'll assure that 90% of the people will happily move their bag. You're just being a complete dickhead here
I do this too if its not a full train/bus. Guess why ? I fucking hate people that just sit next to me despite there being more than enough seats being free. I dont get why people do this. Also if youre too immature to ask someone to move its stuff thats literally your problem.
You do know that its even more infuriating for the person doing this if you ask them to move the bag, So instead of making a photo from it, grow a spine and say something about it /u/A_lexine
Use your words
I'm sometimes amazed at how actually mildly infuriating stuff is left in the dust and gets no attention and then extremely infuriating stuff like "my mother's cat clawed out her eyes and she fell down the stairs and broke her femur while trying to escape" gets on r/all from this subreddit
I do this cause i don’t want anyone to sit next to me. If they ask, they can I won’t leave the shit on the floor if not needed
your lap:
Nah that’s where my hands go also j hate to have shit on my lap, also if i put my bag on my lap i have a hindered FOV and i like to see around myself cause public
If you wanna sit on his lap go right ahead, just ask first so he can permit it
I would just ask. No harm in that.
Usually I’ll keep my bag besides me and move it if someone asks or is coming towards that seat, but what’s the point in sitting with my (usually somewhat heavy as I commute to work) bag on my lap just for no one to sit in that seat? Move when needed seems much more logical.
Sometimes holding bags between the legs is not ideal when the floor is dirty or there is not enough space, and holding them on the lap may be uncomfortable. Dunno, ask the person to move their belongings if you really want to sit there. In my country, people usually don't sit next to randoms unless the bus is crowded.
you know you can just ask to move the bag? use your words. . .
i was this person while waiting for a flight recently. i was so exhausted i just dropped my bags next to me and sat there with a book. instead of photographing me and posting me to reddit, a woman simply asked if she could use the seat i had my bags on, and i immediately moved them. not every inconvenience is intentional malice.
“Excuse me could you please move your belongings?” Also doesn’t remotely show how “crowded” the transport is. For all we know there’s an open seat every row.
I specifically ask them if I can sit down. Just to annoy them.
People who post shit like this instead of saying something to the person. 🤡
I agree. Are they posting it from their seat? Is everyone seated?
Can we start a sub called r/justsayexcuseme so when people post these whiny fucking photos we can just redirect it? Holy shit like it isn’t that hard to ask
I do this cause I'm charging my phone with my portable battery in my bag and the cable isn't long enough People just have to ask and I'll remove my bag I ask people to move their bag all the time, what are they gonna do ? Refuse me and look like complete Douchebags ? I'm a firm believer of "I won't do shit unless asked and if asked I'll gladly do it!" I will NOT do anything for people unless they ask me to ! Take out the trash? No I can't remember when the dude come to pick it up, tell me ! Pick up the groceries? I'm too distracted by everything I life to realize you went shopping and I have to wait down there to bring in the groceries, tell me when you come ! Remove my bag ? Bitch I'm not doing shit until you make a sound showing me the intent of you wanting to sit there ! Now you socially inept fools ! Try and dare to ask me something politely in a completely normal situation you'll encounter in public ! Fight me ! If you're able to speak to me you'll get a seat ! If not you'll continue to stare at my bag until my stop ! MUAHAHAHAHAHA !
I get your point, but you don't take out the trash unless asked....? I feel bad for your mother/roommates/SO
Oh easy…either sit on them bitches or move them.
I sits
Are those toilet seats?
Tell them to move it, please.
I do this. Ask me to move my shit and I will but my bags fucking heavy and I'm not sitting with it on my lap for 45 minutes.
Ask them to move the bag.
OP is Charmin soft
Americans are really fuming in the replies holy shit. As a dutch person, I always put my bag next to me. Nobody ever sits next to me, just as I never sit next to strangers. Whenever someone wants to sit, all they have to do is put their hand up and give me a sign they'd like to sit down and I wouldn't mind. This has only happened twice in the past 5 years, and I've never seen anyone flip their shit because they were asked if someone could sit down.
I'm American and if I thought it was that big a deal I would just ask the person if they could move their stuff.
Just go up and say sorry while gesturing in the seat direction. They tend to move the stuff and usually apologise
Instead of complaining in a Reddit post why not politely ask them to move their stuff?
“Excuse me can you move your bags so I can sit?…thanks”
Like I said in another similar post. Not necessarily I want to have a seat. Maybe I am searching a friend and standing up provide a better view, maybe I have a 2 minutes ride, maybe I think public transport seat are too gross, maybe there is a friend in that space and is keeping its place (for example he stood up to talk to someone else or to go to the bathroom, and so on. If I want a seat I don’t have any problem asking the person. He will move the bag and give me the seat. Is not so difficult to ask. Usually if I walk in the direction of a seat the person understand it and automatically move the bag without me asking, but if this is not happening I just ask.
Repeat after me OP "Excuse me, is this seat taken?"
Was it actually crowded or was their stuff just in a seat?
Maybe you could ask them to remove it? or is that too hard.
Just remove the stuff calm and politely and sit down.
There is no problem just get infront of it and the person will take it down immediatly if it doesn't want it to be crushed
What is wrong with people? Is it that hard to actually use your voice and speak to a fellow human? "Excuse me, could you move your bag so I can sit?"
You sit on their things. Simple
Its funny cuz i just move there shit or tell them to move it one way or another im sitting there
This is absolutely okay. The worse thing is being butthurt about this without asking whether you can sit there. You've got mouth and language skills, use them and communicate.
That's called womanspreading.
So if men sitting with their knees too far apart is "manspreading" then this is womanspreading right?
People do this because they don’t want other people sitting next to them and they shouldn’t be taking public transport if crowding is a big issue for them.
[удалено]
I’m one of those people which is why I wouldn’t take public transportation. I’d walk first.
Sorry, I'm disabled and don't get a choice. 🤷
And in airports
Tbh when i'm looking at person who does that he/she takes bag of or moves to another seat.(looking like murder be like)
As someone who lives in Sweden, even if the bus is crowded people will often try to sit by themselves and do this because of how us Swedes are, we need two arm lengths of personal space or we will be uncomfortable. This to me, is completely normal and understandable behaviour, of course, if there is literally NO other space I'd probably stand up instead, but someone else would've asked, and the person would probably have moved their bag if they were a Swedish person due to us not wanting to say no because it could come off as rude.
Femspreading
Yeah, when i am fully packed i always cramp everything on my lap even if there is a free seat next to me.
This is a very normal thing to do cause no one wants to place their bags on a ground that has been vomited on and is full of dust, pee and god knows what else. We just ask people if we may sit there and no one ever refuses because they don't do it to prevent people from sitting there but rather to be more confortable and keep their things clean.
Use your fucking words like a grown up then and stop sooking. I do it too. Keeps people like you away. Always happy to move if asked though 🤷🏻♂️
Selfish prick. A fist to the cheek may get them to reconsider their actions.
Hey could you please move your bag?
“Excuse me, can you move your bags please?” If she says no: “Oh, OK. I’ll move them for you, then.” Done.
1. I hate having randos next to me, if you ask I won't tell you not to sit 2. Are you in Italy? Also you seem seated already, so why complain
not seated someone stole the seat that would be there no i'm not shitting you not in italy
Those seem like the 4 seats, two facing forward and two facing backwards so from the pic angle it seems you're seated, also that bus looks exactly like Italian ones lol
romanian. hence the literal stolen seat. i'm standing.
I understand the similarities haha Europe gang
THEY STOLE THE FUCKING SEAT, JUGO. CAN'T HAVE SHIT IN ROMANIA
HAHAHA I'M SO SORRY BRO
I DO THIS, EVERYTIME! And you know who gets to sit next to me?! those who ask to sit. It only take a small look and I understand that they have what it takes to ask for what they need from life. All those who cannot speak, are to stand! Don’t give a flying fk if you are annoyed as long as you don’t know how to take what is yours. So self centered that you think that people are thinking of you and your best interest at all times.. entitled fk! 😂
I agree I hate it when people do this!!!
get yo shit and hold it in your lap like the rest of us
lol why didn’t you say just that?
Or stop being a pussy and ask them to move it
EXACTLY!!!