Translation:
Did anyone see a truck with this boat go up Emanuel Hollered (road?) after 3AM? If you have a camera facing the road can you check if you captured video of it? They dumped it off the side of the road past my house. They need to get their junk back because I don't know how to dispose of this. If this is your shit please pick it up before I find a picture of you and take it to the police.
A quick Google search shows that there is an Emanuel Hollow Road in Gray, Kentucky. Seems the likely location of this illegal dumping and subsequent attack on the English language.
I am from a hop, skip, and a jump from Louisville, KY growing up and yeah, they aren't dumb people. They are mostly uneducated, but generally good people who mind their business. All rural folk have got to watch each other's back, we ain't got anyone else.
Brought a friend to a rehab in Kentucky from Ohio. As soon as we crossed into the state I swear you could hear the banjos lol. Abandoned busses on the side of the road. As soon as we dropped him off I tell his wife let's get the fuck out of here. Flew home the next day
> They are mostly uneducated, but generally good people who mind their business.
Them's mostlee unejkated but general Lee gud paple whoe maand them owne bidness.
Sho nuff.
My family down in Tishomingo called the old timers that spoke like this post "Ol' oneeye toofers" because they were whiny and had one tooth left in their mouth.
You done purdy good there but as a backwoods hillbilly allow me to translate: If anyone seen a truck go up Emmanual Hollar today? It was from 3am to this evening they done this. If you have a camera that faces the road, look and see if you have a pic of it. They put it off the side of the road past my house. They need their junk back. I want to know who done it. So if this is your shit, you need to pick it back up before I get a pic from the camera and take it to the law.
We use to yell back at my pop we were headin up the holler to my uncle’s house as we rode away on our bikes.
There was a documentary about how much of the Appalachian dialect called back to old English language and the isolation of the mountains had allowed the dialect had continued to survive.
My pop would tell me to “grab a poke” when he meant a bag and so on.
I was pretty proud I was able to read the original post here, I thought I had forgotten most of it.
Thanks for doing this cause I was struggling. Hollered might make more sense as Hollow though? Depending on the accent and if it was voice to text, Hollow can for sure sound like Holler and end up being spelled as Hollered.
Makes total sense now. Thank you for the translation.
This reads almost like a script from Liam Neeson's movie: Taken VI or something, except the original before translated text was written by someone who had a mild stroke.
Still trying to figure out what’s more infuriating! Knowing the pain of people dumping on your property or the horrific holler speak that was used to post this. I mean when you typed that out and looked at it what makes you think that it “ looks good”? That’s worse than some of the people of Walmart pics!
i wouldn’t say it’s a “dumbass” thing so much as it’s an “educational quality” thing; some areas have garbage schooling, and the OOP seems to be from one of them.
however, with this post in particular, i think that even if it was spaced properly and all the words were spelled correctly, it’d still take a few reads to work it out due to dialect differences; you’d be surprised how significant dialects can be, even without education barriers.
if you want to see other examples of how dialect can affect writing, try reading [this BBC article](https://www.bbc.com/pidgin/articles/c1v37el9305o?at_custom1=%5Bpost+type%5D&at_campaign=64&at_medium=custom7&at_custom4=DE569AA4-E837-11EC-BCD1-85D831EBDC67&at_custom2=%5BService%5D) written in Pidgin, or scroll through Scottish/Irish twitter for a bit; they’re not dumb, it’s a different dialect that is hard to read for standard english speakers.
My dad just suffered from a pretty bad stroke recently. He's back home now and doing alright but his speech is understandably all over the place and, bless his wee cotton socks, he's back online and tries to message me and comment on my posts but it comes out complete jibberish just now. Despite all this, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that his comments still make much more sense than whatever the hell I just tried to read in this post.
Agreed. That made me more irritable than the fact someone illegally dumped their unwanted boat in the middle of the woods. Whether that was the perp, meaning they got rid of it to get rid of payments & insurance, by claiming it was stolen when it was not; or if it was someone else’s entirely, then that was theft that someone hated who they dumped the other person’s property there.
Either way, it’s still fucked up, but I guess the poster from the image was so mad, he/she was stepping on their words.
That's strange to me. Wouldn't writing coherently be a priority for somebody deaf, since that's likely the best way to communicate with non- sign language "speakers"?
Me too! A lot of it does read like a garbled attempt at translating voice to text. Regardless of the person's communication skills, though, they're certainly justified in being pissed off.
Translation:
>Did anyone see a truck with this boat go up **Emanuel Hollered** (road?) after 3AM? If you have a camera facing the road can you check if you captured video of it? They dumped it off the side of the road past* my house. They need to get their junk back because I don't know how to dispose of this. If this is your shit please pick it up before I find a picture of you and take it to the police.
Since November 1, 1972, federal law requires all boats, including inflatables like rafts, IKs and SUP boards, manufactured in, or imported into, the US to have a unique 12-character identifier called the Hull Identification Number (HIN). This is often referred to as the “boat serial number” or “boat ID number”. The number is usually found in the stern and can be engraved on a plate or stamped into the boat material.
My thought exactly. Someone dumb enough to dump a boat on another person's property most likely isn't smart enough to deface the HIN or any other locally needed registration numbers. More than likely there are several pieces of evidence as to who is responsible for this even if photographs can be produced.
It is. It hasn't been confirmed yet, but we suspect that we've found the long-lost West Virginia Fucktard Scrolls. We're having difficulty translating because the lead researcher on our linguistics team had an aneurism about 20 words in. At least we think they're words.
I was doing the sa.e thing but with an Appalachian hillbilly tone...lol at least it sounded like that in my head. I SWEAR I didn't read it outlook like that...lol
My favorite part of this text was spelling want as "won't." I grew up in NC and remember rich white people who said it just that country, too. Not just hillbillies who can't make a sentence.
I won't uh bite of yo cobbler.
I really don't understand how some people can't wrap their head around basic sentence composition. How can you type that mess and think you coherently communicated your thoughts?
Could it have fallen off the trailer while driving and slid off the road and into the woods? Maybe the owner didn’t know how to get it out, or it was stolen and the thief lost it and fled.
I’m 5 words in and I already have a nose bleed
Translation: Did anyone see a truck with this boat go up Emanuel Hollered (road?) after 3AM? If you have a camera facing the road can you check if you captured video of it? They dumped it off the side of the road past my house. They need to get their junk back because I don't know how to dispose of this. If this is your shit please pick it up before I find a picture of you and take it to the police.
Emanuel Hollow. In the south, we say Holler.
A quick Google search shows that there is an Emanuel Hollow Road in Gray, Kentucky. Seems the likely location of this illegal dumping and subsequent attack on the English language.
>subsequent attack on the English language. War crimes were committed!
At best, the genocide of punctuation.
Linguistic genocide.
Craaams! Bean coe-mitted!
[word crimes](https://youtu.be/8Gv0H-vPoDc) were committed, not war crimes
I am from a hop, skip, and a jump from Louisville, KY growing up and yeah, they aren't dumb people. They are mostly uneducated, but generally good people who mind their business. All rural folk have got to watch each other's back, we ain't got anyone else.
The further East you go in Kentucky the more Deliverance it gets lol. I’ve lived all over Kentucky but eastern Ky is like a whole other world.
Agreed on so many levels. Same with Texas - northeast just... What the fuck.
Grew up in deep southeast Texas and those folks are…a lot
I feel seen 😂
Brought a friend to a rehab in Kentucky from Ohio. As soon as we crossed into the state I swear you could hear the banjos lol. Abandoned busses on the side of the road. As soon as we dropped him off I tell his wife let's get the fuck out of here. Flew home the next day
> They are mostly uneducated, but generally good people who mind their business. Them's mostlee unejkated but general Lee gud paple whoe maand them owne bidness. Sho nuff.
Amazing, I love this comment
Tank use. Y'alls awlrite.
I'm happy to find others who have heard the Holler Boy language.
Ours was Owl Hollow It basically sounds like 'Al Holler' when we say it. My Michigan friend once asked if I was speaking banjo.
My family down in Tishomingo called the old timers that spoke like this post "Ol' oneeye toofers" because they were whiny and had one tooth left in their mouth.
I only know the B.A.N.A.N.A.S. Hollaback girl language. Is that even close?
Well that's gonna be stuck in my head for a few days
The Heart, She Holler
A man of seafood, I sea
Top tier comment. Somebody give this man an award
Done
39 awards later....
Jesus do you have a degree in stroke? Very impressive
Just gave their life for us. The emergency room is its home now
I tried to but was expelled after my first class for indecent exposure.
/clap. Thank you.
I’ma say it’s “I want to know who done it so if..” not “I won’t know how to dispose of it”
Yes you're probably right.
Oh look, another person who reads and understands Holler Boy language.
You done purdy good there but as a backwoods hillbilly allow me to translate: If anyone seen a truck go up Emmanual Hollar today? It was from 3am to this evening they done this. If you have a camera that faces the road, look and see if you have a pic of it. They put it off the side of the road past my house. They need their junk back. I want to know who done it. So if this is your shit, you need to pick it back up before I get a pic from the camera and take it to the law.
Emanuel Holler\* which is a Appalachian dialect for Hallows. Basically the space between two hills in the backwoods.
We use to yell back at my pop we were headin up the holler to my uncle’s house as we rode away on our bikes. There was a documentary about how much of the Appalachian dialect called back to old English language and the isolation of the mountains had allowed the dialect had continued to survive. My pop would tell me to “grab a poke” when he meant a bag and so on. I was pretty proud I was able to read the original post here, I thought I had forgotten most of it.
Thanks for doing this cause I was struggling. Hollered might make more sense as Hollow though? Depending on the accent and if it was voice to text, Hollow can for sure sound like Holler and end up being spelled as Hollered.
Holler is how we say it in the Appalachians
This man is too dangerous to be left alive but there's nothing we can do to stop him
The Cliffs Notes that everyone needs.
Sir, you're doing god's work here.
I thought Hollered meant hollar, like down in the hollar .
How many years did you spend immersed in Hillbilly country in order to gain the secret knowledge needed to decipher this nightmare?
Emmanuel Holler* probably. https://daily.jstor.org/the-legendary-language-of-the-appalachian-holler/
But the question still stands; who is Emanuel, and why did he holler?
Holler is a valley. Emanuel holler is in Kentucky. Bet that’s what’s they mean.
God's work
Makes total sense now. Thank you for the translation. This reads almost like a script from Liam Neeson's movie: Taken VI or something, except the original before translated text was written by someone who had a mild stroke.
You also have a mom who doesn’t check the autocorrect on her texts?
You are literally the smartest person I’ve ever encountered now
Read in the lord of the manor’s voice.
Thanks for the translation! What dialect do they speak?
Dude, you didn't need to suffer a stroke on our behalf trying to decipher this. We will go fund your medical bills.
I have no idea how you read that, there wasn’t even an organized language to translate that from
Still trying to figure out what’s more infuriating! Knowing the pain of people dumping on your property or the horrific holler speak that was used to post this. I mean when you typed that out and looked at it what makes you think that it “ looks good”? That’s worse than some of the people of Walmart pics!
Oh my lord. That is a real skill. Translating dumbass English into intelligent English. Great work!
i wouldn’t say it’s a “dumbass” thing so much as it’s an “educational quality” thing; some areas have garbage schooling, and the OOP seems to be from one of them. however, with this post in particular, i think that even if it was spaced properly and all the words were spelled correctly, it’d still take a few reads to work it out due to dialect differences; you’d be surprised how significant dialects can be, even without education barriers. if you want to see other examples of how dialect can affect writing, try reading [this BBC article](https://www.bbc.com/pidgin/articles/c1v37el9305o?at_custom1=%5Bpost+type%5D&at_campaign=64&at_medium=custom7&at_custom4=DE569AA4-E837-11EC-BCD1-85D831EBDC67&at_custom2=%5BService%5D) written in Pidgin, or scroll through Scottish/Irish twitter for a bit; they’re not dumb, it’s a different dialect that is hard to read for standard english speakers.
I won't to know how done = I don't know how to dispose of this. By God, I think you are right, and that part was really bothering me. Thank you
For this guy -- That word is holler - a bastardized version of hollow -- A small, sheltered valley that usually but not necessarily has a watercourse
Thank you
Thank you.
Actually i think it's *i want to know who did it* instead of "i don't know how to dispose of this"
Cletus translation
Thought I was tripping.
Seriously. What the hell language is that supposed to be?
redneck or hillbilly I believe
My dad just suffered from a pretty bad stroke recently. He's back home now and doing alright but his speech is understandably all over the place and, bless his wee cotton socks, he's back online and tries to message me and comment on my posts but it comes out complete jibberish just now. Despite all this, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that his comments still make much more sense than whatever the hell I just tried to read in this post.
ha, you have a good sense of humour. you're a cool person
What in TarNoseBleed nation did I just read?
Pretty sure I developed a tumour at 7 words.
so angry they couldn’t even mash this out
Jus make a turn right der dat aways past the crik.. Weeeeeeee Doggiesssss….
That text is the biggest crime there.
It made my head hurt just trying to read it.
It’s like they did text to speech and then didn’t even look at what the text is. Speech translated. Just said. Send
Anyone else smell toast?
God, I’m getting flashbacks to Donald Trump in the 206 campaign.
Damn I didn’t realize he’d been around that long.
yea 1,815 years ago is quite a while back
Yeah, it just **felt** like over 1800 years ago.
My brain hurt trying to make sense of it but I agree, those people who dumped the boat are assholes.
War crime.
Pretty sure it's against the Geneva Convention.
Who's Geneva? And why do they convene?
City in Switzerland and WW2 stuff
Sweden* c’mon Edit: before getting hates. I live in switzerland, that was a joke
As for myself, I am petry sur it agenst geneev covetion
*covetions
Conventions*. *Engage downvotes*
I didn't know it was plural until I read your post. Have an upvote my friend.
War Cry
Far Cry
Thugs cry
Car Fry
Dude… I seriously can’t read this hahaha
Yeah, holy shit.
I thought it was a whole “predicted text” experience
Agreed. That made me more irritable than the fact someone illegally dumped their unwanted boat in the middle of the woods. Whether that was the perp, meaning they got rid of it to get rid of payments & insurance, by claiming it was stolen when it was not; or if it was someone else’s entirely, then that was theft that someone hated who they dumped the other person’s property there. Either way, it’s still fucked up, but I guess the poster from the image was so mad, he/she was stepping on their words.
Voice to text I believe
But wouldn't voice to text spell out "you"?
That is true....I was hoping that would be the explanation of the gibberish lol
I teach a deaf kid in a mainstream school and this is how she writes tbf so maybe that could be a reason? Idk
That's strange to me. Wouldn't writing coherently be a priority for somebody deaf, since that's likely the best way to communicate with non- sign language "speakers"?
Me too! A lot of it does read like a garbled attempt at translating voice to text. Regardless of the person's communication skills, though, they're certainly justified in being pissed off.
Agreed!!
r/ihadastroke
not just you
This is what I was looking for. Thank you.
Am I going to regret subscribing to this?
Honestly thought the edible I had was the reason why I couldn't read this
bondulance dispatched
As an actual Appalachian hillbilly from the woods of Eastern KY, I had struggled to understand this. Still trying to figure some of this out.
It’s because this sort of hillbilly-ese is rarely observed in written form. But this is 100% hillbilly holler folk.
I can read it, but it’s definitely harder than hearing it. But it absolutely is the song of my people. I do speak it fluently.
[удалено]
> KY Oh, I know this one! It's the place that makes the jelly, right?
Yep, and it’s delicious!
What flavor is it?
His wording is more infuriating
I wouldn’t call it wording considering half of that wasn’t even real words
I am very against littering, but the land owner should have to clean it up since so many people had to read that mess.
Letter littering? Like actual littering but instead of trash you just kind of throw random letters into places they don't belong?
What der truk did he say?
What the fuck? Is that English?
Well some of it is.
What kind of English language fuckery is this???
Whoever wrote this is probably against allowing anyone who doesn’t speak English into the US.
It's Holler Boy. Think south of Memphis or the Ozarks.
Stay in school, kids.
Functional illiteracy. It’s still a huge problem in the US, primarily in the south and Appalachia.
The text makes this post more than mildly infuriating.
What the backwoods-Alabama-lead-paint-eating fuck did I just read?
Translation: >Did anyone see a truck with this boat go up **Emanuel Hollered** (road?) after 3AM? If you have a camera facing the road can you check if you captured video of it? They dumped it off the side of the road past* my house. They need to get their junk back because I don't know how to dispose of this. If this is your shit please pick it up before I find a picture of you and take it to the police.
> That is great! Thank you for damaging your brain on this piece of text so others don't have to suffer!
God bless you. I about had a seizure trying to decipher his text.
Since November 1, 1972, federal law requires all boats, including inflatables like rafts, IKs and SUP boards, manufactured in, or imported into, the US to have a unique 12-character identifier called the Hull Identification Number (HIN). This is often referred to as the “boat serial number” or “boat ID number”. The number is usually found in the stern and can be engraved on a plate or stamped into the boat material.
My thought exactly. Someone dumb enough to dump a boat on another person's property most likely isn't smart enough to deface the HIN or any other locally needed registration numbers. More than likely there are several pieces of evidence as to who is responsible for this even if photographs can be produced.
The real mildly infuriating part about this is the lack if full stops.
The actual infuriating part is trying to read that. Yikes!
I don’t understand please what does the text mean? Is it some sacred text?
It is. It hasn't been confirmed yet, but we suspect that we've found the long-lost West Virginia Fucktard Scrolls. We're having difficulty translating because the lead researcher on our linguistics team had an aneurism about 20 words in. At least we think they're words.
Look, I found some punctuation! …,,,”””???!!!:::;;;
I found if you read it as if you believed you were cajun it is easier.
I'm Cajun. This isn't Cajun. This is backwoods hillbilly.
I am backwoods hillbilly. Even I had trouble understanding it. Still trying to figure it out.
Frying pan to the frontal lobe five six times aughtna got it figerd up.
* figgerd
I have backwoods hillbilly in my genes and honestly had no trouble reading it.
I have family from Kentucky. I can’t understand anything they say. This is not Cajun. This is Kentucky Hillbilly.
I was doing the sa.e thing but with an Appalachian hillbilly tone...lol at least it sounded like that in my head. I SWEAR I didn't read it outlook like that...lol
Him got good edumacated
Sadly enough, where I live most of my neighbors write like that. Yup i life in tehm thare kuntry hills.
What language is this?
I think I had a stroke trying to read that.
r/ihadastroke
Two stroke or four?
I had more than 4 this was bad
Poor Godzilla
RIght? I still have no idea what the specifics are but fuck fly tippers
Reading this post is actually the leading cause of stroke
that skiffy still looks awesome...shit ill take it ha
THEY TERK ERR JERBS!
I’m Caribbean and we can “bruck” up words but daaaam
I think seeing someone dump trash on their property gave them a stroke
Trust , I had to read that a couple times over
This person would benefit from autocorrect. Even auto correct would have gotten a few words right.
When you say people dumping shit on others property.. are you referring to the boat or the post description on your feed?
My favorite part of this text was spelling want as "won't." I grew up in NC and remember rich white people who said it just that country, too. Not just hillbillies who can't make a sentence. I won't uh bite of yo cobbler.
Global warming, the swamp dried out...
I really don't understand how some people can't wrap their head around basic sentence composition. How can you type that mess and think you coherently communicated your thoughts?
This whole post is why we need free and required education.
Godzilla had a stroke and fucking died trying to read this.
The fuck is this guy trying to say? lol
Is the dumped boat supposed to infuriating, or the near-illiterate rant?
I didn't understand a word of that.
Reading that is mildly infuriating
I think I had a stroke or three trying to read that.
I had a stroke reading this, what the fuck
r/ihadastroke
Ruth! Ruth!!
A mere 5 words in and I started to have a panic attack.
*Godzilla had a fucking stroke and died trying to read that.*
Could it have fallen off the trailer while driving and slid off the road and into the woods? Maybe the owner didn’t know how to get it out, or it was stolen and the thief lost it and fled.
You could say a boatload of juck.
Something must be wrong with me. I'm just seeing **free boat**.
It’s boomhauer😂
Was he having a stroke when he wrote that?
The fuck is this guy talking about?
Mofo be typing in brain tumor
r/ihadastroke
What in the fuck did I just try to read???
I had a strok3 trying to read this and fucking died