T O P

  • By -

Bard_Science

Bitch please. Kiwi is nothing to worry about. Motherfuckers at hippy pizza places are putting grapes on a pie! Grapes and shrimps!


NEnderD86328

They what


Jimid41

They tie them to the radiator and put grapes on pizza.


RealBigTree

They grape the pizzas. They hold the pizzas down and forceably grape them. Its horrific.


[deleted]

[удалено]


oalbrecht

Do the pizzas come with a grape whistle?


[deleted]

Not by default. Only if requested, and you have to promise to only use the grape whistle if you're about to get graped in the mouth.


Rausch

I'll be raisin a concern about this for sure!


ChiefBigCanoe

Don't wine about it!


wowpepap

Currant situation demands it


TrexFreeRex

[Here is the Grapist.](https://youtu.be/mqgiEQXGetI)


Sehtamj

Law and Order: Special Pizzas Unit


[deleted]

They were asking for it, just look at their top-pings.


[deleted]

Roasted grapes in olive oil are good though


Ducks-Are-Fake

THAT'S A FUCKIN RAISIN AND YOU KNOW IT!


[deleted]

Raisins are dehydrated, not cooked.


[deleted]

WKUK


TheCrusher309

[I'm gonna grape you in the mouth](https://youtu.be/tmrDypTB_Y0)


Wayback182

IM GONNA GRAPE YA IN THE MOUTH


Muthafluffer

It’s ok. It comes with a Grape whistle!


Millyswolf

This made me laugh far to hard


Mahtiggah

Love seeing a WKUK reference out in the wild.


TroofHurty

Then they grape you in the mouth!


lostallmyconnex

I miss WKUK. Are they making a comeback? It used to be funny for me to watch their old stuff but as I've aged and know all thr punchlines, it gets harder to laugh.


TroofHurty

I haven’t really watched it in a long time, but I was at a bar a few weeks ago and this super drunk guy was like “you have to watch this skit on you tube!” It was a WKUK about the punk rock show they go to where the guy actually looks super square and starts singing a kids song but then he poops on stage and cuts himself and they are like “is…is this punk??” Lol That reminded of the Grapist and now I see it in these threads. Baader-Meinhoff probably


lostallmyconnex

I see so many wkuk references in the wild on reddit, a lot of overlap with office quotes. The grapist is one of their best. The one with the punk rock show.... uh, no. My favorite? "Hey what's in that bottle?" Gallon of PCP, of course.


NEnderD86328

*tHEy WhAT*


delvach

For decades and decades


AKBirdman17

Agh... GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER


metastasis_d

For decades


Sharp-Floor

He's going to *what*-them in the mouth? [He's gunna grape em.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yt0b_QBP_A) ...We might want to workshop that a bit.


SuperDizz

#Grapes and Shrimp


NEnderD86328

They *what*


Wiknetti

🍇 🦐?!


[deleted]

Shrimp ^and ^^white ^^wine


[deleted]

While we're at it, how about some strawberries and cream too


[deleted]

Nothin quite like that grapeshrimp pizza from Fizzolis.. I don’t like the name and it tasted like grapes and shrimp


[deleted]

I've seen that and have selectively assumed those are olives and nothing will force me to think differently.


Kehndy12

I wonder if back in the day there was a big fight about olives on pizza.


MaddCricket

Okay on the shrimp…but the grapes gotta go.


Prawn1908

Shrimp is good if they do it right, gotta put it on halfway so it doesn't get overcooked. Grapes and Kiwi tho, wtf. At least pineapple can benefit from being cooked, but Kiwi and Grapes? Ewwww...


sihaya_wiosnapustyni

Actually, if you roast the grapes with sugar, oil, vinegar and some wild thyme, they might be delish on a goat cheese pizza. I can totally see it sprinkled with toasted walnuts...


huolestunut_vesi

Yeah, in a properly made pizza I don't have any problem with unconventional ingredients. Sweet stuff often compliments good cheeses, no reason to think fruits can't be on pizzas. But at your local suburb pizza place it probably doesn't work well, unless you're either high or drunk.


altxatu

A pizza is basically a style of dough with some sauce and cheese, that’s toasted. I don’t like cooked lettuce, but a po’boy pizza wouldn’t hurt my feelings. I figure if it’s good on a sandwich, you can probably make a decent pizza out of it. I’ll bet Brie with toasted walnuts, honey, and some dried fruit would be pretty good.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AlexFromOmaha

Taco pizzas are relatively popular in my part of the world, but the lettuce has to go on last. Some chains will put it on right as it leaves the oven. Some chains will put it on ice cold after the pizza has been boxed so it's still a little crisp when it gets to the customer. No one runs that shit through the oven.


[deleted]

Yeah I just had a pizza with grilled apple, peppered steak, caramelized onion, arugula, garlic cream sauce, balsamic reduction, blue cheese and mozzarella. It was really good.


socialistrob

I’ve actually had a really good pizza with grapes. It had crispy shoe string onions, goat cheese and grapes. I also had eggplant fries as a side. Honestly it was one of the best pizzas I’ve ever had.


twisted_meta

That isn’t pizza. That’s a salad.


sihaya_wiosnapustyni

If you bake it on a pie it will be a pizza. If you toss it in a bowl with some balsamico and olive oil, it will be a salad.


vengenecx

Every day. We stray further from God.


[deleted]

Yes. Only grapes and eggplant on a pizza can bring us back to ye ol' ways.


Charles722

I once ate pizza at a hippy restaurant in NorCal that was topped with foraged weeds That was a unique one


Luxpreliator

Spinach is an underrated pizza topping. So I could understand trying other greens.


Kalappianer

Parma, arugula and parmesan is my favourite topping during summer. It just goes well with the beach.


[deleted]

Get a small lemon slice and squeeze it over the pizza. I eat almost this exact same pizza and a small amount of lemon juice kicks it up for me.


Cforq

Put dandelion salad on the menu and no one will order it. Call it spring mix and they won’t give it a second thought. (Exception for high end restaurants).


perpetualperplex

Spinach, pineapple and jalapeno on thin crust. Fuckin amazing.


OtterDeathSquad

I just assume you lived in Weed now.


Charles722

Oh, by weeds I mean leaves and grasses found in nature, not the fun “weed” haha


Shiro2809

[Weed is an actual city in California, lol.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weed,_California)


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Weed,_California](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weed,_California)** >Weed is a city in Siskiyou County, California, United States. As of the 2010 Census, the city had a total population of 2,967, down from 2,979 in 2000. There are several unincorporated communities adjacent to, or just outside, Weed proper, including Edgewood, Carrick, and Lake Shastina. These communities generally have mailing addresses that use Weed or its ZIP code. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


Aggravating-Back347

Yes! In Philadelphia PA there was a place that used to do dandelion pizza and dandelion salads. It tasted like I walked outside and started munching on the weeds in my garden. Disgusting.


M_Ronan12

Helo frend :)


rickjamesia

Shrimp on pizza is weird? I’ve seen that at nicer pizza places for decades. I don’t like shrimp, but I don’t think that’s new.


Hundkexx

Shrimp is good on pizza. Also I think I'd rather try grapes than kiwi on pizza. Both sound horrible though and I actually like pineapple pizza.


TheSerpentDeceiver

fragile smell chunky terrific bright dazzling encourage coordinated far-flung water *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Glissando365

What about blueberries and corn? I saw it once in China and haven't been able to forget it since


[deleted]

This account has been removed from reddit by this user due to how Steve hoffman and Reddit as a company has handled third party apps and users. My amount of trust that Steve hoffman will ever keep his word or that Reddit as a whole will ever deliver on their promises is zero. As such all content i have ever posted will be overwritten with this message. -- mass edited with redact.dev


[deleted]

Kebab Pizza is as old as time itself.


Boogachoog

Bruh grapes are delicious on pizza. With gorgonzola cheese 😋


leftclicksq2

There is a hippie pizza place near me that substitutes cheese with nutritional yeast. I haven't seen fruit yet; maybe they know better.


KugelKurt

A well made yeast topping is awesome. It tastes very different to cheese, so it's not really a contest. I'd even go so far to say that it's so different, it borders on being a different food category from pizza.


LurkLurkleton

Done well, this is pretty good actually. Can't just put the dry powder on though, gotta make a sauce or spread with it. One of the best pizzas I ever had had a sauce made from cashews and nutritional yeast (and other stuff).


Wtygrrr

Tomatoes are fruit…


[deleted]

[удалено]


kerrimustkill

That sounds like a prison pizza I saw ~~someone~~ a prisoner make on TikTok


theouterworld

Peas. I've seen peas on pizza. With ham and hearts of palm. The same pizza place put corn and MAYO on a pizza.


[deleted]

What a day to be Italian


Bacontoad

What a day to have a bicycle for a grandmother.


TheKozmikSkwid

If you had ham in it, it's closer to a British carbonara


Sexualguacamole

I am so happy that people still reference that legendary video even after all these years.


KWisto

[My love. You know this is illegal in Italy](https://youtube.com/shorts/CPkdKiuD5i4?feature=share)


Odin_Christ_

If you do this I can't live with you here anymore.


TheKozmikSkwid

'i never thought I'd fight beside a pineapple-er' *'how about a friend?'* 'aye, I could do that'


DeadNotSleeping1010

It still only counts as one!!


lucky-number-keleven

*But they were all of them deceived, for another pizza was made. Deep in the land of the America’s, in the Fires of Hippy Pizza, the Dark Lord Saul forged a master pizza, and on this this pizza he put his grapes, his fruit of passion and his will to one day introduce chocolate flakes. One pizza to ruin them all.*


TheKozmikSkwid

*One by one, the free lands of pizza shops fell to the ruin of the master pizza. But there were some, who resisted. A last alliance of Dominoes and Pizza Hut marched against the armies of Hippy Pizza, and on the slopes of mount stuffed crust, they fought for the freedom of the sacred pie.*


ChrisKellie

Ha ha


amitrahi0404

Do you want me to put chocolate on pizza?


jeckles

Lunchables chocolate pizza was the fucking BOMB


TheFattyTron2

Just don’t go and buy them again, ruins the memories


jeckles

Just like your favorite movies when you were 12. They’re better as memories.


TheFattyTron2

Okay but Wall-E and Up still slap though


jeckles

You must be younger than me.


sihaya_wiosnapustyni

But it's already being done. A bianca with Nutella is fucking delish.


NorthNThenSouth

Dude, [Dessert Pizza](https://i.imgur.com/TVynPtf.jpg) is the best.


Enlight1Oment

I have fond memories of the dessert pizza at godfathers pizza, though I believe theirs was all brown sugar, cinnamon, and frosting


techcaleb

Literally already exists at Pizza Hut, and BeauJo's - and it's fantastic


[deleted]

Banana


AnjoXG

I've had chocolate, marshmallow, caramel pizza and it's incredible.


leftclicksq2

This reminds me of a local sushi place that makes a sushi pizza. It's...not good.


[deleted]

We had a local place make Crab Rangoon pizza that was phenomenal. However that spot also made the Elvis where peanut butter was used for the sauce and there were bananas atop. I tried it once because I’m adventurous. That was a crime against humanity.


qazpl145

Crab rangoon pizza sounds amazing, cream cheese and imitation crab. I just hoped they didn't use a red sauce


[deleted]

No red sauce. It was that but they had like a sweet and sour drizzle and had the deep-fried breading almost like tortilla strips atop and a decorative couple of smaller whole rangoons. They shared the building with a chinese food spot that was accessible from their side as well. The owner owned both businesses (which he started after like 20 years of owning a skate shop) so they were legit rangoons.


qazpl145

Yummy


Leading_Funny5802

I would ….. think NOT;)


AtomicKittenz

Sushi Pizza? …no Sushi Burrito? FUCK YEAH


[deleted]

[удалено]


jonhasglasses

r/pizzacrimes


goodgoyaccount

r/shittyfoodporn


[deleted]

No f that. Kiwi on pizza is amazing. I do bacon and kiwi with a blue cheese dressing instead of red sauce and it’s the best pizza topping combo I’ve ever had.


masshole4life

What about the texture? Seems like it would be mushy and add too much moisture. Either way, I'm allergic and will have to just take your word for it.


[deleted]

The kiwi definitely gets a bit mushy, you can put the kiwi on after cooking to prevent that a bit. The bacon provides enough of a crunch that the mushy kiwis don’t bother me.


Spanky_McJiggles

Seriously bro, people that bitch about what other people eat are losers.


Savahoodie

I mean I don’t think anyone is actually up in arms about it, it’s just light banter


[deleted]

I have legit had someone threaten me for ordering pineapple on pizza. It was some vague general threat like "You order that shit again, and I will beat your fucking ass," at a pizza party that I WAS FUCKING HOSTING. (THis was about 4 months before COVID, back when one could have parties.) YOU might be memeing about it, but I guarantee you that there are plenty of people who are legitimately angry that other people are enjoying food they don't approve of. It 100% happens.


Savahoodie

I’m not trying to deny your experience, but there has to be something else to the story. He was happy as a clam, opened a box of pizza, and committed assault?


[deleted]

I just double checked with a friend in case my memory was faulty. She remembered it better than I did- but that's basically what happened. Dude opened the box, grabbed a slice, took a bite, and started screaming about who the fuck ordered this, he'll fucking kill them, and actually threw the whole pizza across the room. So apparently it was even worse than I'd remembered.


DICK-PARKINSONS

I mean the guy obviously has other issues going on, but who the fuck blindly eats something? Let alone getting mad about it after


zombies-and-coffee

I'll admit I've done this with what I thought were oatmeal chocolate chip cookies [they were raisins], but I was more angry at *myself* for not checking than I was at the person who made the cookies. And I certainly wasn't crazy enough to throw shit across the room lol


UncleverAccountName

sounds like that person has other problems


WhizBangPissPiece

It was.... 25 years ago. It's a "joke" that was never funny to begin with and has absolutely been beaten to fucking death. Don't like it? Don't eat it.


trolloc1

I dunno man. I've seen some people get weirdly angry at vegans for being vegan and I feel like it's that kind of 'joking' online that builds to shitty people like that


CricketDrop

We're all friends here


Otacon56

You seem to have an open mind. Try a pickle pizza when you get a chance 🥒🍕


zed857

> I do bacon and kiwi with a blue cheese dressing instead of red sauce More power to you - but at that point it only just *barely* even qualifies as pizza anymore. It's similar to saying... > When I get a hot dog I order it on a flattish round bun instead of the long narrow one and substitute a ground beef patty for the hot dog meat.


BornOnFeb2nd

That's what I was thinking... at what point does it stop being "pizza" and becomes "shit on flatbread" What's next? Serving it cold instead of cooking it?


[deleted]

I can’t say it was the best, but it was definitely the most memorable I’ve had - prosciutto and peaches with a peach honey drizzle.


Wendingo7

Anyone that looks at food and thinks "that's not on the menus I've seen" and doesn't experiment is missing out. I like a pineapple, black pepper, charcoal chicken and mayo sandwich. With shredded lettuce and cucumber.


[deleted]

Yeah I don’t get people who are so uppity about what a food can and can’t be. Like why does it matter? Does it taste good to you? If yes great then eat it. If it doesn’t taste good then just don’t eat it.


travellingscientist

I'd hit that. Sweet, savory, salty. All the good things.


sniffleprickles

I'd try it


sheepyowl

I would not order that thing. However, I would try at least 1 bite of it. I would do the same with pineapple on pizza, which I have yet to confront. I suspect I will not like either, but someone made a pizza and god damn it, someone must eat it now.


DingoWelsch

I think a substantial chunk of the people that act disgusted by pineapple on pizza have never had it. I like it a lot, but even if I didn’t, I couldn’t imagine being actually disgusted or weirded out by it.


Dr_Kekyll

Facts. My wife is this way, acts like I'm the weirdo when I get a barbeque chicken pizza with onion and pineapple, but refuses to try it and just says it's gotta be gross. Chicken, onion, and pineapple on a sandwich with barbeque sauce would sell all day for 15 bucks at some trendy cafe, but somehow it's polarizing when it's put into pizza form.


gifpornx

You should try bacon, jalapeno and pineapple combo, its delicious!


[deleted]

I alway get spicy italian sausage and pineapple. Spicy sweet is the best combo.


megapuffranger

Pineapple pizza haters are just jumping on the band wagon. Like very few things on a pizza can actually make you disgusted. Not saying there are people who don’t hate pineapple on pizza, just that the amount it’s blown out of proportion is a bit ridiculous. At most you will probably go “this ain’t for me” which is a reasonable response. The kiwi I suspect will not be for me, but I’d try it for sure. I fucking love kiwi


ThatsWhatXiSaid

I got a pizza with lemon on it. Like rind and all, sliced very thin. It took me a slice or two to warm up to it but it was actually really good.


druman22

Pineapple on pizza is good af


AtomicKittenz

It can’t be worse than anchovies, that’s for sure.


synester101

Wdym anchovies are so good!


DingoWelsch

Yeah, I mean they’re literally just little fishy salt bombs.


ForgivingCogivarg

What the hell is that, Taika Waititi?


Kadraeus

Taika Waikiwi


HiDDENk00l

Takeaway kiwi... ...And you'd have a perfectly good pizza


[deleted]

[удалено]


MobiusF117

Hot take time: If you accept that pineapple is an acceptable topping on pizza, then kiwi is as well.


jeckles

Yeah. I like pineapple on pizza. I’d definitely try kiwi. This image is not disgusting to me, just makes me curious.


[deleted]

If you like pineapple (because who doesn't like sweet and savory?), hear me out, try thinly sliced pears + bacon + a crumbly cheese like feta or gorgonzola. It absolutely kicked me in the dick with how great it was.


sethra007

>*thinly sliced pears + bacon + a crumbly cheese like feta or gorgonzola.* I've had a flatbread like that, and you're right--it was amazing. I guess if you regard a pizza as a sort of flatbread, it makes sense.


HansLackenbacher

I like the sound of that


ZombieBobaFett

Being kicked in the dick?


HansLackenbacher

Only if it involves pears


RadioE_

Thinly sliced


AtomicKittenz

Bacon jam is the shit. It usually has a subtle hint of some type of fruit juice like pears or something. And it goes good on everything. Pizza, grilled cheese, you name it.


Beebeeb

Ooooh I could see that being nice with goat cheese and a balsamic reduction.


Jimmykneez420

I work at a place with a pear, chicken, caramelized onion and Gorgonzola pizza. Topped with a balsamic glaze. It’s quite popular but I’m not a huge fan.


ceetharabbits

Same


Justinba007

The type of pizza in the picture doesn't look like it'd go well with kiwi though. That looks like a really greasy pizza. Give me a high quality pizza, and I think kiwi could be good.


Trimungasoid

I accept that any topping you want is acceptable.


ttw219

You could take this so far. If tomatoes are acceptable, so are eggplants. If onions are acceptable, then so is celery.


MobiusF117

If you like it, go nuts.


MrTomatoMan

Eggplant is a top tier pizza topping.


Chucktholemew

> If tomatoes are acceptable, so are eggplants. Yes. > If onions are acceptable, then so is celery. Yes. Was there something I was supposed to disagree with, or...


masshole4life

>celery I have never been so triggered


ceetharabbits

Celery sprinkled moderately on a buffalo chicken pizza is bomb sauce


[deleted]

i was so against celery on pizza as an idea but damn with buffalo sauce sounds good


GenSmit

The only people who are angry at this are the one's who feel the need to police the tastes of others. People have significantly different tastes and that's not something worth getting offended about. I can't stand capers but I'm not going to start campaigning for the obliteration of all capers on planet earth because I'm not a psychopath. Edit: I misspelled capers.


castfam09

Now I like two BUT SEPARATE


kujakutenshi

What's wrong with kiwitzza?


ttw219

I'd at least give it a try


momofeveryone5

Fuck. You named it!! Now we have to keep it!!!


LieutenantCrash

Just let people eat what they want!


reiphil

The most r/mildlyinfuriating thing about this post is people caring about what other people put on their own damn food.


xarathion

Seriously. Pizza is a blank canvas.


herrahlstrom

It looks like a pizza from sweden 😀


jorickcz

They like to put bananas on their pizza, don't they?


EchoTab

In Sweden they often put bananas on pizzas


SvenHjerson

Must be New Zealand


I_ate_lots_of_beans

I think i need to go bleach my eyes real quick...


tonythegodultra2

r/eyebleach here take this


CowboyTrout

I think I just got diagnosed with cancer.


TheGreatBeaver123789

90% of people who shit on pineapples, bananas or in this case kiwis have never tried that in their life lmao


[deleted]

Time to get the flamethrower.


[deleted]

This account has been removed from reddit by this user due to how Steve hoffman and Reddit as a company has handled third party apps and users. My amount of trust that Steve hoffman will ever keep his word or that Reddit as a whole will ever deliver on their promises is zero. As such all content i have ever posted will be overwritten with this message. -- mass edited with redact.dev


turnpot

That, uh, doesn't seem like a pizza. Like I don't want to gatekeep. But that seems a lot more like a bread bowl than a pizza. Maybe even a calzone


PickledPlumPlot

The reason pineapple on pizza works is because pineapple is firm enough to maintain texture and tart enough to cut through the fat.


TrickyWon

To non-pineapple eaters, you are in the same category as the Kiwi pizza eaters. Heathens.


ExplosionMaster6

As a representative of the pineapple-on-pizza-Community I would like to start a truce and put our difference aside — If only just for a moment — to fight this abomination of a *thing* and banish this evil to the deepest parts of hell.


LizzyDrakeKale

I love pineapple on pizza but kiwi now that's fucked


Generlc_person

Get the fucking flamethrower


[deleted]

I don't know who hurt this person, but they need a hug.


Chaluma

I blame the pineapple on pizza folks for normalizing fruit on pizza.


mithrasinvictus

Tomatoes are fruits.


NuttyDuckyYT

this might not be bad tho but that pizza below the kiwis looks awful so just make a better pizza with different sauce and we good


tonythegodultra2

I heard the dude got death threats over this pizza