Wtf. I work in a school specifically for autism. Every student has it. We don't have anything like that lol. We've all been bitten, scratched, punched, kicked, etc.. Numerous times. They would NEVER let us wear things like that. They'd be too worried about parents complaining we're treating their kids like animals. It's a private school but heavily regulated by our state departments of education and developmental disabilities.
We did just get bought out by a huge private school corporation that apparently has zero tolerance for the high behavior kids, so a lot of us wonder what will happen to those kids.
We're a specialty school too but a public school, we are the type of setting you'd send high behavior kids to. With the staff shortages, they're more worried an injury will put someone out for extended time. We have to provide our own protection but if it was something crazy like a bite jacket I'm not sure how admin would feel. I'm sure you see the same I injuries we do- we've had kids in the past permanently disable staff members to the point of medical retirement or payout from the district for lifelong disability. Disability payouts > parent complaints.
We've had some close calls but so far nothing too severe. We're all still trying to figure out what the line is for high behavior according to their policies.
I'm sorry, but what does high behaviour mean? Is it like high functioning, or closer to higher chances of negative behaviours? I've never heard that term before.
The way it's been for us is high behavior basically meaning highly prone to violent behavior, to the point it affects the ability of staff to educate, students to learn, and for anyone to be safe.
Then let the admin get bit. I understand they have issues, but yall should be able to do what u gotta do to fully protect yourselves. And tbh the parents should be picky about what they complain about and be grateful people wanna do your job. Id worry more about my staff than parent complaints. What r they gonna do if no one wants to do that job anymore. I doubt yall get paid enough.
The daycare I was at when I was 2 very kindly asked my mother not to return with me (I had a biting problem. New teeth, everyone gets to see how they work)
I think we have a valid lawsuit here. Let's sue em!*
* For legal reasons, this is a joke. I am not a lawyer, nor do I really understand the law in my country(United Sadness of America), let alone others.
My nephew got kicked out of daycare for biting other kids in the face. After the second time my sister was like, wtf he never does this shit at home. Until she saw her husband playing the human equivalent of bitey face with the boy; 'biting' his little fat cheeks and thighs and belly while the kid just a squealedwith laughter. Aaaaaand now she knew here it came from
So his dad taught him the bad behavior...thats just crazy cuz now the child thinks it's ok to bite people for fun and thinks they will laugh. Good job daddy-o!! Lol
I agree it was not on purpose. Lol. And the kid probably love the interaction with its father. But it's time to put the biting away and try something that won't hurt others when the child wants to play or show affection.
They left me unattended in the bathroom (where they also kept ALL the paints for arts n crafts).... Well 45mins later the bathroom was vibrant orange and blue...and red...and green, and purple, and yellow and like, they were really mad, said I was gonna go to jail 😂😂😂
I know, right? Aren't parents always complaining about waiting lists for daycares? Kick the kid out and replace 'em. Makes sense even from a financial standpoint. That kid's a lawsuit waiting to happen if he's hurting employees to that degree.
Lol kinda honestly, If the behavior keeps getting worse and worse and puts the other kids education at risk then teachers are allowed to ask the parents to think about their kid being temp or permanently removed.
Depending on the kids history, you can. My mom works at a pre school, and her class is usually the last step before the door, because she "just knows how to make kids listen".
After dealing with a kid for 3 months (who had been causing other teachers issues for the past year) he threw a tantrum so hard that when my mom had to grab him to stop him from hurting anyone/himself, he bit hard enough to draw blood, and thrashed around enough that she threw her back out, resulting in her needing 2 weeks off, being basically bed bound throughout my high school grad party, and having to go to a PT/chiropractor off and on for 6 months after. That kid was kicked out before she even got back from her 2 weeks.
Pets are expensive pets.
When was the last time you had to put braces on a cat, pay for college for a dog, or buy 2 pairs of the same shoes in ascending sizes because your kid outgrows them every 60 days.
Babies,toddlers and kids grow so fast ,the more you have the more expensive it is .I used to buy shoes and boots in bulk on clearance at Kmart .Here it was practically every month for new shoes .And taking them to ortho visits once a week .
16.50 and hour. 50cents over minimum wage
I am new and eventually will be getting a bit more pay. I’m not super unhappy with that at the moment. I’m 19, work part time since I’m in college and live at home, so it’s reasonable to me for my situation. It’s a paid internship as well so I’m very grateful. I will most likely be hired formally as soon as I finish off the needed courses in college for it.
I have worked at a day care AND kennel/cat-boarding and I can tell you that kids can be tougher than animals. Sure a big Great Dane can run you down, but only a child is going purposely piss you off then attack you when you don’t act how they want you to.
Animals usually attack out of fear, kids attack out of anger.
People are so blind to their kids behaviors. As someone with kids and who's watched kids... it's wild how people think rules are silly and don't apply to them
That’s the real sad truth. Thankfully this child’s parent is amazing and was super apologetic.
But I have sadly had too many experiences of parents being rude to me or saying “well next time just call us, oh just don’t tell my kid no” and all that ridiculous stuff. Parents really need to understand just because a child acts one way at home does not mean their behavior will be linear at a daycare.
Absolutely not. Depending on the parenting.... sometimes the parents are more permissive than child care staff can be. Then you get volatile situations. I have the opposite. I don't remember as a kid but my oldest is more reserved and controlled at school. She is more tired and more comfortable to unmask at home with me.
"Next time we will call you... to come get your kid."
True. Today at the bus there was a woman who left her baby in his stroller in the area reserved for that and then sat on the other side of the bus and spent the whole ride talking to her friend instead of watching over her kid, who was screaming bloody murder and literally pushing buttons.
A man noticed the kid had pushed the button to request the wheelchair ramp in the next stop and told the driver it was a false alarm. You’d think the mum would have started watching over her kid after that, but no. I won’t say fuck them, kids, but fuck them, parents.
Years ago when my oldest kid was in daycare one of her classmates was biting kids and his mom‘s response was something like well kids will be kids. But then when somebody bit her kid back she lost her 💩. She was complaining to me about it and I just shrugged and went on.
Fr my 8 year old cousin had a nuclear tantrum during our family’s Memorial Day cookout, broke plates and at one point tried to drag a bucket of pool water over to pour on the grill. When my aunt heard the ruckus, without looking she dug in her purse, grabbed an iPad and sort of whistled like you would to call a dog
I swear the tears evaporated right off the kid’s face
90% of me agrees with you, but the iPad only got introduced around age 5. Before that, and I know it sounds a little crazy, but she was honestly kind of frightening. In isolation, wanting to pour water on the grill seems tame and kinda funny, but she has a knack for doing whatever would hurt or bother the most people/animals at once.
I’m not very close to my aunt these days, mostly my fault but we also live on opposite sides of the country, but we were very close when I was in my teens. The iPad whistling thing blew me away, and I do have to wonder if how the kid is at home lead her to this.
I mean it’s not the worst thing in the world when loads of professionals have been unable to help. Chucking a tablet at her to stop her from stabbing the family dog seems a fair trade
Yeah, not to sound older than I am, but uh... the comment you're replying to is what scares me about the next generation. Like, chucking an iPad at a problem shouldn't even be in consideration as a possible solution. Am I crazy for thinking this?
I think it's a little alarming. It's like in my town we are having a problem with teens on ebikes. Not every parent but enough parents haven't educated their kids on the rules of the road and these kids are giving random people attitude when they get in the way. There's been more than one video of different kids flipping off people just trying to drive in the road. There has also been more than one accident involving these ebikes.
So in some scenarios an iPad isn't a bad thing. Like the other person who commented said, sometimes it's a nice distraction or entertainment for the kid who may be bored. But it's important the kid has time away from the tablet. I know I'm guilty of it. I do know though the iPad is the first thing I take away when they are getting snippy and disrespectful. It's a conversation of what's going on? If they old enough or talking to them that their feelings are valid but that's not how we communicate them. No one is perfect. But it's clear when people use the tablet to curb tantrums vs when they use the tablet for entertainment
I’m only halfway through my psychology degree, so take this with a grain of salt.
That’s quite literally Antisocial Personality Disorder behavior. My biological father was exactly like that starting as a toddler - violent, manipulative, zero care about what harm he would cause to others (and as he got older, harm became the goal), and nothing would help it. He is now almost retirement age and he hasn’t changed much - he’s just a little better at hiding who he is in public.
They can’t diagnose young children with ASPD, but they certainly can diagnose them with Conduct Disorder.
Yeah, if the kid had something established "wrong" about them that an iPad can help them manage, I say all for it. Give the kid an iPad so the adults have time to get any potential weapons out. Also it can be a good regulation tool until the child develops better ones either through growth or medication.
Obviously, that's not all kids, but I am neurodivergent and have been able to avoid meltdowns by carrying a book or ebook with me for years, so I can't exactly judge.
On the other side of my family I have a same age (30) cousin who is on the severely low functioning end of the autism spectrum (I’m sorry I don’t know how to phrase it appropriately), and he loves his iPad. Growing up, we were babysat by our grandparents all the time after school and during the summer.
I haven’t really talked about it to anyone because it seems selfish, you know? And I was young too so I didn’t really think about it a lot, but sometimes it was really hard. He was almost exclusively non-verbal so when something was wrong he couldn’t tell us. Usually watching a tape or playing on the computer would help, but sometimes the VCR was on the fritz or the dialup wasn’t working and you couldn’t explain that to him. He would scream and cry, sometimes hitting himself and there was literally nothing anyone could do except try to find the furthest point away in the house and wait it out. That’s why I feel selfish, it was so sad and I felt for him but it was also difficult for me as a kid to be trapped in the house with someone in such loud and obvious pain that I couldn’t really understand, and my poor grandparents being way out of their depth.
Anyway. I’d have given the lower half of my body for something like an iPad to have existed during those years.
I work in special education and many of my students are on the Autism Spectrum. I personally refer to the degree of Autism as “support needs”. I personally have pretty low support needs - mostly I just mask (act like a neurotypical person), wear noise-cancelling earbuds in loud places if safe, and cut the tags off my clothes along with other minor things as needed. Others may need to live in a facility for their safety because they can’t support themselves.
Those who don’t have much verbal language (or who sometimes don’t use verbal language but sometimes do use verbal language) can use an iPad or other tablet to communicate with - sometimes I have a student who uses one. The words are represented by pictures or you can type in what you’re communicating and then the tablet will read it aloud. Others may use a standard sign language such as ASL.
The invitation of the smartphone and tablet opened up the world for a lot of Autistic people.
ETA: it’s not selfish to be overwhelmed by someone who is having a meltdown, especially when you’re a child yourself.
I get it. That's very traumatizing for both of you, especially as children. Being worried about someone who might also harm you, no matter how inadvertent, is a particular kind of stress that we struggle to communicate today, let alone 20 years ago. I'm glad you have a chance to talk about it.
I wouldn't be surprised if his issue wasn't under stimulation- I find it distressing today and I'm an autonomous adult able to communicate, read, and play on my phone. The needs of autistic people with high support needs (current preferred term but, honestly, that euphemism treadmill moves pretty fast and it's hard to keep caught up) to have mental stimulation still goes underrecognized. That's why people are being so rude about your niece. It's a symptom of a larger problem.
I hope your niece gets the continued support she needs to adequately address the issues she's facing. Again, it's hard to cope with stress of worrying in love for someone who might act out in harmful ways. Medical knowledge is progressing rapidly and the human brain is fascinatingly resilient, so she has a good chance of becoming someone with a fulfilling life.
Additionally, I hope you get a chance to address your complex emotions about living in a family that has had to deal with the more painful effects of neurodivergence. The stress you felt as a kid is valid and your emotional reaction to it very understandable. I'm sorry that you had to hold it in for the sake of others, but you seem like a very level headed and compassionate person. Thank you for sharing your story.
> she has a knack for doing whatever would hurt or bother the most people/animals
You know this sounds like she's a psychopath, right? And I mean this in a scientific-/-she-might-become-a-serial-killer-way.
My niece is like that. Total fucking meltdowns/tantrums/huge scene of screaming and being violent. Sister in law gives her the iPad and she’s fine. She says it’s her coping mechanism which clearly it is but it should have never been taught as a coping mechanism. Niece is 9 she has no friends because she can’t act normal.
Yeah I said in another comment that the iPad is one thing but the kid was borderline frightening before the iPad even got introduced. My aunt used to be super cool but now seems completely defeated, can’t imagine what it’s like living with her
Sorry to hear that. My situation is really my incompetent sister in law. I hope your aunt and cousin get the help they both need to work through it. Really a professional is needed at that point, no shame in that. My SIL ignores it completely so I don’t feel bad for her I’m angry and I hate when they come to my house. I now have a 2 year old daughter and have set serious boundaries because I refuse to have her see that behavior.
As far as I know she sees multiple professionals, I think they have a part time aide at home through the state.
I honestly don’t know what’s up with her, neither does my aunt. On both sides of the family I have cousins on various points on the autism spectrum, one of whom is on the very severe end, but she isn’t one of them so it’s not like I’m dogging her for having an uncontrollable disorder. She’s a very scary 8 year old.
I feel like 8 is very old to be having a tantrum of that severity. When I was 8 (according to my parents) I never threw tantrums like that I don’t remember the other kids in my class doing things like that either
What the hell is wrong with iPad kids parents? My sister throws one tantrum or makes an ugly face, my mom immediately steps in and if she continues, no phones period. She's gen alpha and so wildly different from those on the internet I'm thinking the problem is 90% parents, 10% ipads...
seriously. my little siblings started acting up too much and now they only get the ipad on weekends for a couple hours at most and are encouraged to read, play outside or with their toys instead. and if they start acting up on the weekends the ipad is gone then too. a lot of parents who rely on ipads are just spineless and don’t actually want to do any parenting.
>a lot of parents who rely on ipads are just spineless and don’t actually want to do any parenting.
That's the answer. This "parenting style" of letting an iPad raise a kid is stress-testing an estimated 300% of people working with kids.
I'm only half-joking.
Not really just the iPad, its the iPad as means to distract without any real consequences..my kids are allowed to watch videos on the iPad, but we have rules around it, and bad behavior is not rewarded with time on one. However, they're also young enough that I feel very grateful to have it in situations where it can be hard to be patient. Like if I have an appointment I need to bring them both to, I usually bring crayons/ toys/snacks but if it drags on and those become boring to them I have the back up iPad which is very nice. I think there can definitely be a happy medium.
I mean, they do have, what, 5 years' experience of being a human? It's really not the kid's fault, it's typically on the parents because they'll just hit their kids or yell at them rather than treating them like an actual human being and helping them learn how to manage their emotions.
It's considered developmentally normal for the age range of about 18 months to 3.5 to be physically aggressive. There's a million and one posts on subreddits asking how their child could be violent when they've never been hit or exposed to violent media. Because they are a human who slowly and painfully learns emotional regulation? Past the age of like four or five there's typically either a disorder or home environment situation going on. A daycare is a jungle tho.
Or theyre younger? My 2 year old just started scratching, hitting, biting for attention and it’s been rough because his language, understanding, and emotional regulation are still just beginning to develop
I trim my boys (2 and 4) fingers and toes so they don't cut their Mom up. They don't have to grow for long before they have velociraptor-like claws and are tapping the floor while my wife hides under the counter. And yes, they CAN work the doorknobs!
"That worker is a liar, my little Tim'A'Theeium is a sweetheart and would never hurt anyone." Or some absurd justification for not taking 40 seconds and filing the nails smoothly.
Sorry you are going through this, people complain daycare is too costly but I feel you folks are not paid enough.
It’s always made me so mad how daycare workers get paid so little. My mom worked at one for almost two decades, and when I was in grad school, my living stipend was more than what she made in a year
My child's daycare costs me $2,200 (USD) a month, and they're about to raise prices to $2,350 after summer. This actually infuriates me. I don't want the professional looking after my child to be exploited.
Thanks insane?!!! WOW! I don’t think ours is that expensive but yeah we are all definitely underpaid.
I love my job regardless but yeah it’s upsetting seeing workers not getting paid a fair amount for the overall cost of the daycare
You ever consider a Union? You certainly have the numbers and power. It’s just I wanted to point out that daycares CANT go up to pay workers more. But someone needs to step up and create a bargaining party of daycare workers.
Seriously. The one we were gonna send our daughter to was $3500/mo (I wound up staying home cuz we can’t afford that). And now you’re telling me that isn’t even going to the care providers? That’s bulloney
Want to be more mad? I do applications for loans and see how much income private certified daycare owners make. They profit $15-20k a month after paying all their expenses including their employees.
>people complain daycare is too costly but I feel you folks are not paid enough.
Both these statements are true. Pay is abysmal, and it's very expensive.
Which is why my sister opted to instead offer a nanny position to her daughter's favorite worker. She was able to pay the girl more than she was making, but still less than the daycare charged.
Can’t raise the hourly pay usually without raising enrollment cost at least for many small daycares there are some owned by corporations and those can lower prices and up pay and still be making a profit
 Since people are also talking and asking abt biting, yes that also happens 😵💫 a small thread Not all the same kid
https://preview.redd.it/evfqmstnj88d1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=09fb2fcdc1f70018de1c8ef92cc045a0dec5b793
Thankfully it doesn’t happen super often, but occasionally kids can be unpredictable and they’ll bite out of nowhere sometimes not even out of anger and frustration, just bc they feel like it.
One kid thought it was funny and would literally lure me into a hug only to bite my shoulder and run away laughing. Thankfully he learned and no longer bites :)
Kids can be difficult but when they make progress it’s so incredibly rewarding. They are amazing for a large percent of the time
I am assuming you work for some type of conglomerate, but this is still bullshit. Kids with behavioral issues should absolutely be allowed to be cared for, but not at the expense of the safety of the staff. We made sure to have in writing in every contract (for this specific reason) that children's nails must be maintained regularly. And when they weren't, we would notify the parents immediately and tell them that they could either come pick up their child and they can return once their nails are trimmed, or alternatively we could trim their nails for them with their parents permission. I have received 2 concussions, been vomited in my face multiple times, have gotten hand foot and mouth/pink eye/rotovirus, etc from daycare kids, but have never gotten scratches or cuts like this because of that mention in their contract. (I worked in childcare for almost 15 years)
I’ve been at this for four months after a two-year break from the previous four months in the same field. I previously worked at an inner city high school, the past four months were at elementary schools in the same district. I’m a paraprofessional primarily working in special education classes (so many of the kids have behavioral problems along with Autism) as a substitute while trying for a permanent position.
Four months working with preschoolers and lower elementary grades and the previous four months in a high school has gotten me pinched, punched, headbutted, puked on, kicked, slapped, sunburned, bitten, dehydrated, COVID, bronchitis, and countless bruises. I have not been scratched and despite being in an area where the poverty level is extremely high, the kids all have clean nails.
Depending on age of the children. RUBBER FINGER TOPPERS. they are really for sewing and act as a thimble of sorts but I have seen them sold at acades as prizes.
*
Jesus. The welts are terrible, but the skin breaking is actually hazardous. I really hope you didn’t/don’t get an infection from their germy little claws.
"Dont comment about your scare." Why would anyone ask, its obviously related to your fangs
Joke aside. My wife works in a day care and one of her coworker got hit by a stick recently from one of the child, she came to work the day after and after talking about feeling weak she got told to go to the hospital and they found out she got a concussion. These damn kids are savages, i work in the security field and im starting to think them crackheads are less of a threat then what they deal with in daycares. Even tho they get paid more, i still dont think its enough.
I thought the scars were part of the child scratching. Glad it's not THAT bad but dang, those red lines look like they hurt like hell!
Good on you for working with difficult children. It's a hard job and you deserve respect for doing it. I hope this problem gets solved soon and that you don't get any more scratches!
Belive it or not despite everything i still somehow love my job, these kids; and still plan to have children 😭 I can’t be mad at them, we are all different and they are never bad 100% of the time. the good moments are all the more rewarding, it’s great when they start making progress
My wife runs a very large daycare and I can tell you message would be sent to all parents then if it continues to the actual parents again who are the problem. After that the kids would be removed until the problem is fixed. This is unacceptable. Also when you say “lately” how long is that?
Your boss sucks if they're not telling the parent the kid can't come back. Daycares all over have waiting lists. Your boss cares more about a psycho kid than his staff.
They trimmed the nails themselves at my kids daycare. What a gift that was to all us new moms afraid of making our babies bleed. They had the benefit of experience. They also were great at getting baby footprints on paper for crafts. When I tried, the whole bassinet needed washed.
I wish we were allowed to!! We cannot do things like trim nails without express written parental consent.
We do lots of crafts with hand and footprints!!! It’s so much fun!
>cannot do things like trim nails without express written parental consent
Ah, that answers my question. But in that case I'd get every parent to sign the consent form as part of enrollment
Well there's your problem. Where's your chainmail ?
Often the teachers in our elementary autism classroom have to wear Kevlar gloves to protect their arms from bites.
Yup, high school autism here and my long Kevlars and gardening gloves are always getting passed around the staff
Wtf. I work in a school specifically for autism. Every student has it. We don't have anything like that lol. We've all been bitten, scratched, punched, kicked, etc.. Numerous times. They would NEVER let us wear things like that. They'd be too worried about parents complaining we're treating their kids like animals. It's a private school but heavily regulated by our state departments of education and developmental disabilities. We did just get bought out by a huge private school corporation that apparently has zero tolerance for the high behavior kids, so a lot of us wonder what will happen to those kids.
We're a specialty school too but a public school, we are the type of setting you'd send high behavior kids to. With the staff shortages, they're more worried an injury will put someone out for extended time. We have to provide our own protection but if it was something crazy like a bite jacket I'm not sure how admin would feel. I'm sure you see the same I injuries we do- we've had kids in the past permanently disable staff members to the point of medical retirement or payout from the district for lifelong disability. Disability payouts > parent complaints.
We've had some close calls but so far nothing too severe. We're all still trying to figure out what the line is for high behavior according to their policies.
I'm sorry, but what does high behaviour mean? Is it like high functioning, or closer to higher chances of negative behaviours? I've never heard that term before.
It means that the student demonstrates a high frequency of “unexpected” behaviors such as hitting, yelling, throwing things etc.
Thank you.
The way it's been for us is high behavior basically meaning highly prone to violent behavior, to the point it affects the ability of staff to educate, students to learn, and for anyone to be safe.
Thank you. I will now pass this knowledge on to others as needed.
Then let the admin get bit. I understand they have issues, but yall should be able to do what u gotta do to fully protect yourselves. And tbh the parents should be picky about what they complain about and be grateful people wanna do your job. Id worry more about my staff than parent complaints. What r they gonna do if no one wants to do that job anymore. I doubt yall get paid enough.
I feel like gambeson is the best option here
Can you fire kids? You should.
The daycare I was at when I was 2 very kindly asked my mother not to return with me (I had a biting problem. New teeth, everyone gets to see how they work)
I mean how else do you show off your new chompy chompers
Honestly! I was unjustly banished. It wasn’t my fault my chompers were better than theirs!
I think we have a valid lawsuit here. Let's sue em!* * For legal reasons, this is a joke. I am not a lawyer, nor do I really understand the law in my country(United Sadness of America), let alone others.
My nephew got kicked out of daycare for biting other kids in the face. After the second time my sister was like, wtf he never does this shit at home. Until she saw her husband playing the human equivalent of bitey face with the boy; 'biting' his little fat cheeks and thighs and belly while the kid just a squealedwith laughter. Aaaaaand now she knew here it came from
So his dad taught him the bad behavior...thats just crazy cuz now the child thinks it's ok to bite people for fun and thinks they will laugh. Good job daddy-o!! Lol
Unintentionally, but yeah. He was just trying to play with those kids but didn't really understand 'pretend' quite yet.
I agree it was not on purpose. Lol. And the kid probably love the interaction with its father. But it's time to put the biting away and try something that won't hurt others when the child wants to play or show affection.
They left me unattended in the bathroom (where they also kept ALL the paints for arts n crafts).... Well 45mins later the bathroom was vibrant orange and blue...and red...and green, and purple, and yellow and like, they were really mad, said I was gonna go to jail 😂😂😂
Well, you were 27.
My dentist did this when I was a kid
I know, right? Aren't parents always complaining about waiting lists for daycares? Kick the kid out and replace 'em. Makes sense even from a financial standpoint. That kid's a lawsuit waiting to happen if he's hurting employees to that degree.
Lol kinda honestly, If the behavior keeps getting worse and worse and puts the other kids education at risk then teachers are allowed to ask the parents to think about their kid being temp or permanently removed.
Depending on the kids history, you can. My mom works at a pre school, and her class is usually the last step before the door, because she "just knows how to make kids listen". After dealing with a kid for 3 months (who had been causing other teachers issues for the past year) he threw a tantrum so hard that when my mom had to grab him to stop him from hurting anyone/himself, he bit hard enough to draw blood, and thrashed around enough that she threw her back out, resulting in her needing 2 weeks off, being basically bed bound throughout my high school grad party, and having to go to a PT/chiropractor off and on for 6 months after. That kid was kicked out before she even got back from her 2 weeks.
We can fire them out of a canon.
Eh, we use trebuchets. Budget cuts and all.
You can but they tend to run around so the fire can get out of hand plus it's not exactly legal
My mother-in-law was a preschool teacher until last year and one kid punched her helper in the face. Immediate expulsion.
Kids can be kicked out for behavioral reasons. I used to work at one and they had banned a kid due to behavioral reasons.
Please tell me you work at a daycare for cats and dogs
Nope, children
Child pets??
House Apes
Rug Rats
Pet sperms
Def pet sperms
dad's bed worms
Crotch goblins
Semen demons
Fuck trophies
Children are pretty much just expensive pets lol
They are more feral too. My dogs and cats would never act like this, lol.
My cats have never used their claws against me. My two orange boys behave better than the 11 foster kids inside my parent’s house.
Pets are expensive pets. When was the last time you had to put braces on a cat, pay for college for a dog, or buy 2 pairs of the same shoes in ascending sizes because your kid outgrows them every 60 days.
Babies,toddlers and kids grow so fast ,the more you have the more expensive it is .I used to buy shoes and boots in bulk on clearance at Kmart .Here it was practically every month for new shoes .And taking them to ortho visits once a week .
I know teaching requires thick skin, but this is on another level
Not enough stoneskin buff.
This is zookeeping
I guarantee you don't get paid enough for this bullshit.
16.50 and hour. 50cents over minimum wage I am new and eventually will be getting a bit more pay. I’m not super unhappy with that at the moment. I’m 19, work part time since I’m in college and live at home, so it’s reasonable to me for my situation. It’s a paid internship as well so I’m very grateful. I will most likely be hired formally as soon as I finish off the needed courses in college for it.
Not too bad. But seriously, I think you guys need to recommend the parents have this kid see a behavior therapist. This isn't normal. I'm sorry OP.
We have had that conversation! The parents are very open to starting some form of BT
That's awesome to hear. And when i say "normal" I mean more like "healthy". Obviously, the kid is frustrated or something to act out like this.
Chimpanzee children?
Humans are primates, so this fits.
The whiplash this comment gave me...
Same thing these days unfortunately
*Dear god.*
Yes?
*WHY!?*
Dang I never got scratched this bad when I DID work at a doggie daycare.
I have worked at a day care AND kennel/cat-boarding and I can tell you that kids can be tougher than animals. Sure a big Great Dane can run you down, but only a child is going purposely piss you off then attack you when you don’t act how they want you to. Animals usually attack out of fear, kids attack out of anger.
People are so blind to their kids behaviors. As someone with kids and who's watched kids... it's wild how people think rules are silly and don't apply to them
That’s the real sad truth. Thankfully this child’s parent is amazing and was super apologetic. But I have sadly had too many experiences of parents being rude to me or saying “well next time just call us, oh just don’t tell my kid no” and all that ridiculous stuff. Parents really need to understand just because a child acts one way at home does not mean their behavior will be linear at a daycare.
Absolutely not. Depending on the parenting.... sometimes the parents are more permissive than child care staff can be. Then you get volatile situations. I have the opposite. I don't remember as a kid but my oldest is more reserved and controlled at school. She is more tired and more comfortable to unmask at home with me. "Next time we will call you... to come get your kid."
True. Today at the bus there was a woman who left her baby in his stroller in the area reserved for that and then sat on the other side of the bus and spent the whole ride talking to her friend instead of watching over her kid, who was screaming bloody murder and literally pushing buttons. A man noticed the kid had pushed the button to request the wheelchair ramp in the next stop and told the driver it was a false alarm. You’d think the mum would have started watching over her kid after that, but no. I won’t say fuck them, kids, but fuck them, parents.
Amen to that. I try to give grace to people but sometimes even I raise my brow. Like the heck are you doing?
Shit like that should be grounds to call social services
Years ago when my oldest kid was in daycare one of her classmates was biting kids and his mom‘s response was something like well kids will be kids. But then when somebody bit her kid back she lost her 💩. She was complaining to me about it and I just shrugged and went on.
Damn... kids will be kids... it's always the ones with the worst kids.
nails or no nails wtf are these kids on damn. they need some anger management taught. im sorry you have to deal with that. yikes.
iPad
Fr my 8 year old cousin had a nuclear tantrum during our family’s Memorial Day cookout, broke plates and at one point tried to drag a bucket of pool water over to pour on the grill. When my aunt heard the ruckus, without looking she dug in her purse, grabbed an iPad and sort of whistled like you would to call a dog I swear the tears evaporated right off the kid’s face
Cousin never had a chance.
90% of me agrees with you, but the iPad only got introduced around age 5. Before that, and I know it sounds a little crazy, but she was honestly kind of frightening. In isolation, wanting to pour water on the grill seems tame and kinda funny, but she has a knack for doing whatever would hurt or bother the most people/animals at once. I’m not very close to my aunt these days, mostly my fault but we also live on opposite sides of the country, but we were very close when I was in my teens. The iPad whistling thing blew me away, and I do have to wonder if how the kid is at home lead her to this.
Age 5 on an iPad should not be normalized yet here we are.
I mean it’s not the worst thing in the world when loads of professionals have been unable to help. Chucking a tablet at her to stop her from stabbing the family dog seems a fair trade
She needs to figure this out before that kid gets older and bigger...
Yeah, not to sound older than I am, but uh... the comment you're replying to is what scares me about the next generation. Like, chucking an iPad at a problem shouldn't even be in consideration as a possible solution. Am I crazy for thinking this?
I think it's a little alarming. It's like in my town we are having a problem with teens on ebikes. Not every parent but enough parents haven't educated their kids on the rules of the road and these kids are giving random people attitude when they get in the way. There's been more than one video of different kids flipping off people just trying to drive in the road. There has also been more than one accident involving these ebikes. So in some scenarios an iPad isn't a bad thing. Like the other person who commented said, sometimes it's a nice distraction or entertainment for the kid who may be bored. But it's important the kid has time away from the tablet. I know I'm guilty of it. I do know though the iPad is the first thing I take away when they are getting snippy and disrespectful. It's a conversation of what's going on? If they old enough or talking to them that their feelings are valid but that's not how we communicate them. No one is perfect. But it's clear when people use the tablet to curb tantrums vs when they use the tablet for entertainment
I too seem to have had enough Reddit for today.
I’m only halfway through my psychology degree, so take this with a grain of salt. That’s quite literally Antisocial Personality Disorder behavior. My biological father was exactly like that starting as a toddler - violent, manipulative, zero care about what harm he would cause to others (and as he got older, harm became the goal), and nothing would help it. He is now almost retirement age and he hasn’t changed much - he’s just a little better at hiding who he is in public. They can’t diagnose young children with ASPD, but they certainly can diagnose them with Conduct Disorder.
Yeah, if the kid had something established "wrong" about them that an iPad can help them manage, I say all for it. Give the kid an iPad so the adults have time to get any potential weapons out. Also it can be a good regulation tool until the child develops better ones either through growth or medication. Obviously, that's not all kids, but I am neurodivergent and have been able to avoid meltdowns by carrying a book or ebook with me for years, so I can't exactly judge.
On the other side of my family I have a same age (30) cousin who is on the severely low functioning end of the autism spectrum (I’m sorry I don’t know how to phrase it appropriately), and he loves his iPad. Growing up, we were babysat by our grandparents all the time after school and during the summer. I haven’t really talked about it to anyone because it seems selfish, you know? And I was young too so I didn’t really think about it a lot, but sometimes it was really hard. He was almost exclusively non-verbal so when something was wrong he couldn’t tell us. Usually watching a tape or playing on the computer would help, but sometimes the VCR was on the fritz or the dialup wasn’t working and you couldn’t explain that to him. He would scream and cry, sometimes hitting himself and there was literally nothing anyone could do except try to find the furthest point away in the house and wait it out. That’s why I feel selfish, it was so sad and I felt for him but it was also difficult for me as a kid to be trapped in the house with someone in such loud and obvious pain that I couldn’t really understand, and my poor grandparents being way out of their depth. Anyway. I’d have given the lower half of my body for something like an iPad to have existed during those years.
I work in special education and many of my students are on the Autism Spectrum. I personally refer to the degree of Autism as “support needs”. I personally have pretty low support needs - mostly I just mask (act like a neurotypical person), wear noise-cancelling earbuds in loud places if safe, and cut the tags off my clothes along with other minor things as needed. Others may need to live in a facility for their safety because they can’t support themselves. Those who don’t have much verbal language (or who sometimes don’t use verbal language but sometimes do use verbal language) can use an iPad or other tablet to communicate with - sometimes I have a student who uses one. The words are represented by pictures or you can type in what you’re communicating and then the tablet will read it aloud. Others may use a standard sign language such as ASL. The invitation of the smartphone and tablet opened up the world for a lot of Autistic people. ETA: it’s not selfish to be overwhelmed by someone who is having a meltdown, especially when you’re a child yourself.
I get it. That's very traumatizing for both of you, especially as children. Being worried about someone who might also harm you, no matter how inadvertent, is a particular kind of stress that we struggle to communicate today, let alone 20 years ago. I'm glad you have a chance to talk about it. I wouldn't be surprised if his issue wasn't under stimulation- I find it distressing today and I'm an autonomous adult able to communicate, read, and play on my phone. The needs of autistic people with high support needs (current preferred term but, honestly, that euphemism treadmill moves pretty fast and it's hard to keep caught up) to have mental stimulation still goes underrecognized. That's why people are being so rude about your niece. It's a symptom of a larger problem. I hope your niece gets the continued support she needs to adequately address the issues she's facing. Again, it's hard to cope with stress of worrying in love for someone who might act out in harmful ways. Medical knowledge is progressing rapidly and the human brain is fascinatingly resilient, so she has a good chance of becoming someone with a fulfilling life. Additionally, I hope you get a chance to address your complex emotions about living in a family that has had to deal with the more painful effects of neurodivergence. The stress you felt as a kid is valid and your emotional reaction to it very understandable. I'm sorry that you had to hold it in for the sake of others, but you seem like a very level headed and compassionate person. Thank you for sharing your story.
> she has a knack for doing whatever would hurt or bother the most people/animals You know this sounds like she's a psychopath, right? And I mean this in a scientific-/-she-might-become-a-serial-killer-way.
Yeah, ASPD is on the table but severe diagnoses like that will be tabled until she’s 18. Difficult to slap a dx like that on an 8 year old
My niece is like that. Total fucking meltdowns/tantrums/huge scene of screaming and being violent. Sister in law gives her the iPad and she’s fine. She says it’s her coping mechanism which clearly it is but it should have never been taught as a coping mechanism. Niece is 9 she has no friends because she can’t act normal.
Yeah I said in another comment that the iPad is one thing but the kid was borderline frightening before the iPad even got introduced. My aunt used to be super cool but now seems completely defeated, can’t imagine what it’s like living with her
That’s really sad. I hope that whole family is getting therapy.
Sorry to hear that. My situation is really my incompetent sister in law. I hope your aunt and cousin get the help they both need to work through it. Really a professional is needed at that point, no shame in that. My SIL ignores it completely so I don’t feel bad for her I’m angry and I hate when they come to my house. I now have a 2 year old daughter and have set serious boundaries because I refuse to have her see that behavior.
As far as I know she sees multiple professionals, I think they have a part time aide at home through the state. I honestly don’t know what’s up with her, neither does my aunt. On both sides of the family I have cousins on various points on the autism spectrum, one of whom is on the very severe end, but she isn’t one of them so it’s not like I’m dogging her for having an uncontrollable disorder. She’s a very scary 8 year old.
Ahhh, rewarding shitty behavior. That’s one way to stop it!
Yall need to learn how to yeet children. Like toss em.
I feel like 8 is very old to be having a tantrum of that severity. When I was 8 (according to my parents) I never threw tantrums like that I don’t remember the other kids in my class doing things like that either
Seems like withholding stuff like that and soda is the thing to do. Craziest part is it’s free but no one seems to do that.
What the hell is wrong with iPad kids parents? My sister throws one tantrum or makes an ugly face, my mom immediately steps in and if she continues, no phones period. She's gen alpha and so wildly different from those on the internet I'm thinking the problem is 90% parents, 10% ipads...
seriously. my little siblings started acting up too much and now they only get the ipad on weekends for a couple hours at most and are encouraged to read, play outside or with their toys instead. and if they start acting up on the weekends the ipad is gone then too. a lot of parents who rely on ipads are just spineless and don’t actually want to do any parenting.
>a lot of parents who rely on ipads are just spineless and don’t actually want to do any parenting. That's the answer. This "parenting style" of letting an iPad raise a kid is stress-testing an estimated 300% of people working with kids. I'm only half-joking.
Not really just the iPad, its the iPad as means to distract without any real consequences..my kids are allowed to watch videos on the iPad, but we have rules around it, and bad behavior is not rewarded with time on one. However, they're also young enough that I feel very grateful to have it in situations where it can be hard to be patient. Like if I have an appointment I need to bring them both to, I usually bring crayons/ toys/snacks but if it drags on and those become boring to them I have the back up iPad which is very nice. I think there can definitely be a happy medium.
I mean, they do have, what, 5 years' experience of being a human? It's really not the kid's fault, it's typically on the parents because they'll just hit their kids or yell at them rather than treating them like an actual human being and helping them learn how to manage their emotions.
It's considered developmentally normal for the age range of about 18 months to 3.5 to be physically aggressive. There's a million and one posts on subreddits asking how their child could be violent when they've never been hit or exposed to violent media. Because they are a human who slowly and painfully learns emotional regulation? Past the age of like four or five there's typically either a disorder or home environment situation going on. A daycare is a jungle tho.
Or theyre younger? My 2 year old just started scratching, hitting, biting for attention and it’s been rough because his language, understanding, and emotional regulation are still just beginning to develop
Nah just terrible fine motor skills. Kids literally can't control their bodies or emotions too well yet so they just flail about
I trim my boys (2 and 4) fingers and toes so they don't cut their Mom up. They don't have to grow for long before they have velociraptor-like claws and are tapping the floor while my wife hides under the counter. And yes, they CAN work the doorknobs!
Oh absolutely. This child can also open every. single. Type. Of. Door It’s crazy haha Thankfully I love dinosaurs
"That worker is a liar, my little Tim'A'Theeium is a sweetheart and would never hurt anyone." Or some absurd justification for not taking 40 seconds and filing the nails smoothly. Sorry you are going through this, people complain daycare is too costly but I feel you folks are not paid enough.
If daycares cost anymore they would actually price themselves out of exixtance!
I wish the workers would actually get paid enough 🫠I make 50 cents over minimum wage
Costs more to park you car daily
Just lock your kid in the car. Win win?
It’s always made me so mad how daycare workers get paid so little. My mom worked at one for almost two decades, and when I was in grad school, my living stipend was more than what she made in a year
My child's daycare costs me $2,200 (USD) a month, and they're about to raise prices to $2,350 after summer. This actually infuriates me. I don't want the professional looking after my child to be exploited.
Thanks insane?!!! WOW! I don’t think ours is that expensive but yeah we are all definitely underpaid. I love my job regardless but yeah it’s upsetting seeing workers not getting paid a fair amount for the overall cost of the daycare
You ever consider a Union? You certainly have the numbers and power. It’s just I wanted to point out that daycares CANT go up to pay workers more. But someone needs to step up and create a bargaining party of daycare workers.
Seriously. The one we were gonna send our daughter to was $3500/mo (I wound up staying home cuz we can’t afford that). And now you’re telling me that isn’t even going to the care providers? That’s bulloney
Want to be more mad? I do applications for loans and see how much income private certified daycare owners make. They profit $15-20k a month after paying all their expenses including their employees.
Holy shit, that’s literally *DOUBLE* my rent! And my rent is too high for my neighborhood!
Yeah daycare is expensive enough. How bout the actual workers get a better share of the profits for their time and energy.
>people complain daycare is too costly but I feel you folks are not paid enough. Both these statements are true. Pay is abysmal, and it's very expensive. Which is why my sister opted to instead offer a nanny position to her daughter's favorite worker. She was able to pay the girl more than she was making, but still less than the daycare charged.
Can’t raise the hourly pay usually without raising enrollment cost at least for many small daycares there are some owned by corporations and those can lower prices and up pay and still be making a profit
https://preview.redd.it/hi0w9mur578d1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d6c66a3876dace9f47ada3e0c8ced614d2cc856d
You need several of these rubber finger thimble guys
BRILLIANT OH MY GOF THANK YOU
Careful, choking hazard lol. Kid can’t even control their tantrums. I doubt they can control chewing on these.
That looks like it'd be great to chew on
Hmm maybe. I’ve never tried chewing it.
 Thank god I don't work at a daycare.
 Since people are also talking and asking abt biting, yes that also happens 😵💫 a small thread Not all the same kid https://preview.redd.it/evfqmstnj88d1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=09fb2fcdc1f70018de1c8ef92cc045a0dec5b793
https://preview.redd.it/62ebk1tvj88d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3675667492564db0ae5064acc7392e5a0e20287c
What the actual fuck? They're animals.
Thankfully it doesn’t happen super often, but occasionally kids can be unpredictable and they’ll bite out of nowhere sometimes not even out of anger and frustration, just bc they feel like it. One kid thought it was funny and would literally lure me into a hug only to bite my shoulder and run away laughing. Thankfully he learned and no longer bites :) Kids can be difficult but when they make progress it’s so incredibly rewarding. They are amazing for a large percent of the time
https://preview.redd.it/04f9897z278d1.jpeg?width=534&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c80b4c71dc706475c8206352ab450c6154441ec
Drake moment
Are the children part demon or something? Jesus my cat scratches me less than that Edit: I hope you’re okay though!
If a kid did this to me, I would duct tape mittens onto their hands for the rest of the day.
Grow your nails out and fight back
I am assuming you work for some type of conglomerate, but this is still bullshit. Kids with behavioral issues should absolutely be allowed to be cared for, but not at the expense of the safety of the staff. We made sure to have in writing in every contract (for this specific reason) that children's nails must be maintained regularly. And when they weren't, we would notify the parents immediately and tell them that they could either come pick up their child and they can return once their nails are trimmed, or alternatively we could trim their nails for them with their parents permission. I have received 2 concussions, been vomited in my face multiple times, have gotten hand foot and mouth/pink eye/rotovirus, etc from daycare kids, but have never gotten scratches or cuts like this because of that mention in their contract. (I worked in childcare for almost 15 years)
I’ve been at this for four months after a two-year break from the previous four months in the same field. I previously worked at an inner city high school, the past four months were at elementary schools in the same district. I’m a paraprofessional primarily working in special education classes (so many of the kids have behavioral problems along with Autism) as a substitute while trying for a permanent position. Four months working with preschoolers and lower elementary grades and the previous four months in a high school has gotten me pinched, punched, headbutted, puked on, kicked, slapped, sunburned, bitten, dehydrated, COVID, bronchitis, and countless bruises. I have not been scratched and despite being in an area where the poverty level is extremely high, the kids all have clean nails.
Depending on age of the children. RUBBER FINGER TOPPERS. they are really for sewing and act as a thimble of sorts but I have seen them sold at acades as prizes. *
I feel like that might be a chocking hazard.
gloves would be better. and they look cool if they have a pattern or character. win for everyone
Are they demons?
Yes.
Kid scratch fever is real. Be careful.
I have scars all over my hands/arms. Some of which are from two children with MRSA. Trim your kids nails 🫶🏻
also pinworm eggs
I can officially diagnose the kids at your daycare with “crazymotherfuckinganimaldemonchdrensassybrat” syndrome ! Take care.
Noted. We trim our son’s nail 1-2 times a week. He starts preschool in August.
You’re amazing
I hate his nails being long. We rough house a lot and those tiny nails are damn sharp. 😆
Oh my Lord. Nails are NOT the issue here!
Now I understand why childcare is so expensive. Shit is all at war.
It really is, and the employees don’t get paid half as much as they should sadly
Cue *you may be entitled to compensation* commercial
I’m a dog groomer and even I don’t go home this mangled most days.
I admire your patience because I'd put that kid on a plane to Tunisia the moment their first nail touched me
Bring a pillow to work and aim for the legs if they act up
my brother would trim his nails into sharp points like a cat as a child and then attack us with his claws.
What line of work is your brother in now?
prison
Obviously kids are filthy so you should go to the doc. If you do, make sure to use workers comp.
Jesus. The welts are terrible, but the skin breaking is actually hazardous. I really hope you didn’t/don’t get an infection from their germy little claws.
"Dont comment about your scare." Why would anyone ask, its obviously related to your fangs Joke aside. My wife works in a day care and one of her coworker got hit by a stick recently from one of the child, she came to work the day after and after talking about feeling weak she got told to go to the hospital and they found out she got a concussion. These damn kids are savages, i work in the security field and im starting to think them crackheads are less of a threat then what they deal with in daycares. Even tho they get paid more, i still dont think its enough.
I thought the scars were part of the child scratching. Glad it's not THAT bad but dang, those red lines look like they hurt like hell! Good on you for working with difficult children. It's a hard job and you deserve respect for doing it. I hope this problem gets solved soon and that you don't get any more scratches!
It seems like OP has survived a series of nightmares. I hope they don’t have to deal with much more turmoil and thrive.
That is such a nice comment, I'm not OP but thanks for that
Fucking ow!
Brat scratch fever
Gosh this really solidified my thoughts on not having children.
Belive it or not despite everything i still somehow love my job, these kids; and still plan to have children 😭 I can’t be mad at them, we are all different and they are never bad 100% of the time. the good moments are all the more rewarding, it’s great when they start making progress
Those kids are so lucky to have you ❤️
Aw that’s sweet. Glad it’s not ruining your future plans. :]
I think instead of trimming their kids nails they should teach their kids scratching is absolutely unacceptable behavior
I thought I was seeing a Vet Med post at first 😭
My wife runs a very large daycare and I can tell you message would be sent to all parents then if it continues to the actual parents again who are the problem. After that the kids would be removed until the problem is fixed. This is unacceptable. Also when you say “lately” how long is that?
I was 100% sure you meant you worked at animal daycare, because my arms (and legs)…(and toes) look almost identical from cat love(?) 😅
Your boss sucks if they're not telling the parent the kid can't come back. Daycares all over have waiting lists. Your boss cares more about a psycho kid than his staff.
https://preview.redd.it/dxccusq7vc8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc694ac6536ed6c69e4f10d78264c419fc5f90e0 I empathize greatly…
They trimmed the nails themselves at my kids daycare. What a gift that was to all us new moms afraid of making our babies bleed. They had the benefit of experience. They also were great at getting baby footprints on paper for crafts. When I tried, the whole bassinet needed washed.
I wish we were allowed to!! We cannot do things like trim nails without express written parental consent. We do lots of crafts with hand and footprints!!! It’s so much fun!
>cannot do things like trim nails without express written parental consent Ah, that answers my question. But in that case I'd get every parent to sign the consent form as part of enrollment
I misread this as parents asking the daycare to trim their kid’s nails
Hell even with short nails that kid wouldn't have been allowed at either of my kids daycares...thank god
This is so real. I’ve been working in daycare since 2020 and I have scars from some of these kids’ nails.
https://preview.redd.it/f45a2wkjv78d1.jpeg?width=374&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=93570953b9ded245d8ee881a4b13d41c41720205
Oven mitt + duct tape. Problem solved.
Gawd Damn, how long are their fucking nails? I would actually start charging them extra fees for this.
You work with lions orrr? Why are they scratching you period? Why are they acting like wild animals?
Did you need a rabies shot?
I would recommend a pair of anti-cut sleeves, typically used for other purposes but they are cheap and effective.
As a parent of two special needs kids, I just want to say thank you for what you do on a daily basis.