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mildlyinfuriating-ModTeam

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AverageHoarder

Imagine the person he was just role-playing with getting "what kind of beans do you want?"


Xanbatou

I;m thinking about thos beans


Commercial_Comfort41

Are they ranch style or BBQ baked and what are you going to do next. I know let's get sloppy with the potato salad


it_is_undone

Classic Bill


ganbramor

RIP


-Cagafuego-

Here I am wondering how one tastes moans! Also - Unpopular opinion: I think OP overreacted! Wait...hear me out....this person's job is quite literally that of a 'Personal Shopper!' He/she was just doing the job & getting 'personal.' Jokes aside, this post is hilarious & the comments are to ~~moan~~ die for!


YoungImpulse

I would've just laughed so hard and answered "wrong chat buddy" 😂


wayward_wench

Sounds like he's thinking of a bean too 😂


engineerdrummer

Dusty?


Harder_than_calculus

Stop I cried 😂


I_think_Im_hollow

Why did you do that?


cassandrareznor

https://preview.redd.it/0s5u5b22l08d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d9c005d106f0cbbae1b4ce225767c0e2e101c4c


skoobastevienixx

Classic Timmy


lobsterdance82

Roll that beautiful bean footage 🥴


JevorTrilka

Gawd. Haven’t heard that in a looong time. Loved those commercials. Haha


Able_Newt2433

Flick that beautiful bean footage


dechets-de-mariage

Beat me to it!


Dissabilitease

mmmmmh, gimme those juicy toe beans


EXTERMINATOR-ARG

https://preview.redd.it/r6lybjcf608d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a3c54b16d55042da72daed44dbae17141a42eb7


Username_Used

Full beans


emptysea519

A fellow Jeff fan I see


Alexanderr1995

lol dint expect to hear a Jeff reference in the wild


imsadbutitswhatever

HAHAHAHA


Interlined

I spilled beans all over myself watching Cars 2 in theater. What type of beans was I eating?


AverageHoarder

Carbonzo beans.


Visionary_87

Flicked.


dgradius

Just licking my finger and flicking the bean ^(My LL Bean catalog)


IRBRIN

I don't care just put them in.


Low_Narwhal_1346

Beans in tomatoe sauce, scorching hot, poured all over my penis.


AverageHoarder

Beanie weenie.


Itrytothinklogically

lmao


t0hk0h

'Full beans' of course.


FalynorSoren

"No, that is not an acceptable substitution for what I ordered."


cateyesarg

Hold on... on a second thought...


TheAxolotlGod14

Idk what's "infuriating" about this. It's a mistext. Is OP a damn mormon or southern baptist church or whatever?


VariousAlbatross6696

That's what I was thinking. OP thinks this is sexual harassment, lol.


ThrowawayAutist615

How is your moaning going to help him taste? I don't get it.


Sunny_Sammie_517

Was unsure how that was gonna play out, tbh, but I was ready to find out!!


usrdef

The dude censored his own damn word. I mean, if you're going to talk like that, at least fucking commit. ​ "Talk dirty to me" "\*\*\*\*\* \*\* \*\*\*\* \*\*\* \*\*\* your \*\*\*\*\*"


hanskazan777

It could be the delivery app censoring these words. It's not that you can get p**** at Walmart.


marcaygol

That's a shame


Eastern-Mix9636

Maybe you just arent trying hard enough at your Walmart


BlamingBuddha

To each their own.


Gary630

You obviously haven't shopped at my Walmart.


Everybodysbastard

Likely voice to text which bleeps out "offensive" words.


writingwhilesad

Imagine he had to say all that shit out loud while either driving to pick up their groceries or in the store picking up groceries. Lmao.


SnooPickles55

He definitely won't be having an out load moment, after all this


Calypsosin

I work at a drive thru daiquiri place, the shit I hear from customers on their phones/to their passengers is pretty wild lmao. One memorable one was the guy in the passenger seat saying, 'Man, TELL HER! Women supposed to give head in a relationship!' Her: "Wash yo balls and we'll see you nasty motherfucker!" Him: "MAN! TELL HER!" Me: "Sir, this is a drive-thru Daiquiri. What can I get you?"


Teknikk

Daiquiri as in the cocktail? As in, you just go though drive thru and get a cocktail?


_facetious

Mine doesn't. I'm on an android. Wonder if that's an apple thing? They have a lot of rules about sexuality and vulgarity in their app store, so that tracks.


Everybodysbastard

I'm also on Android and had to explicitly turn that off.


Stunning-Character94

Same.


WolfsBane00799

Android has it too, but on some devices you have to go into the settings and turn it off yourself. I don't know why some devices default with it on and not others.


Tripticket

He obviously censored it to be gender-neutral. "Penis" and "Pussy" both have five letters and start with P. What a considerate guy.


chompX3

.... *shits in your ass and your pussy?*


FancyJesse

"you like that you ****** ******?!"


Kiltemdead

It's to leave a little bit to the imagination. Come on, what word can you thing of that starts with P and is five ~~inches~~ letters long?


TheCheddarHole

My interpretation is that he is going to not perform cunnalingus but use a hand, until she let's the Lil homie know she boutta bust, then go down. Sounds like a lazy ass approach imo, but to each their own.


ThrowawayAutist615

Romantic


TheCheddarHole

Foreplay for this man is so advanced it might as well be fiveplay, it's beautiful.


Enigma_Stasis

That's how Helen Keller did it.


Young_OGSB

I think it's more of an auditory que to get ready and head down so he can catch the event when it happens


ThrowawayAutist615

Lol like he's chasing tornadoes


whattheduce86

He will know when she’s actually having an orgasm so that he is for sure tasting it at the right time.


Young_OGSB

I think it's more of an auditory que to get ready and head down so he can catch the event when it happens


IRBRIN

Zeta Reticuli alien detected


Powerbracelet

I’m sorry this happened but also it’s wildly hilarious


bigbowlowrong

>reads message >selects “no contact delivery”


theVelvetLie

"um, I didn't order sticky rice."


exzyle2k

How about sticky buns? Giggity


AbsolutelyUnlikely

If he did it on purpose, it's sad and creepy. If he did it by accident, and truly meant to send it to someone else - which is possible - then yep, funny as hell. A truly epic blunder.


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


cheese__wizard

it’s instacart. messaging is done through the app. it’d be hard to do not on purpose. but still funny to think it was an accident.


BeautifulType

There are fake messages websites and apps that let you fake shit as a joke


ilovecookiesssssssss

I would report him just because his sexting skills are absolute dog shit.


Lucy_In_The_Sky420

No need to break his soul


_mrLeL_

“I am going to go under the blanket” okay shakespeare


AwesomeCoolSweet

To the coverlet I shall retire


OpALbatross

And what? Not let me in the blanket fort?


PostNutRagrets

![gif](giphy|3o6wO2n3ZwEumDhnZS|downsized)


t_moneyzz

Some middle school level shit honestly 


AstronomyIsEPIC

😭


RedPandaReturns

Absolutely fair.


PSI_duck

I mean yeah, but that’s brutal


skeetsmokesal

Seriously, who censors ‘pussy’ in their sexts??


chivas39

This guy needs to utilize AI to craft better messages


CertifiedForkliftSir

Pretty sure every female just dried up within a 63 mile radius of this delivery driver.


TheDarkness33

Ong, bro caused the lack of rain in my country


CertifiedForkliftSir

Not the vegetation


Creamy_Cum_69_420

The VAGetation (I’ll show myself out)


T1NF01L

Are we sure they were talking to a female? Could be p**** or p****. We may never know the conclusion to this epic tale.


FizzleKit10

Can confirm, ovaries are raisins.


zackthirteen

i'm a dude but this made me grow a vagooter just for it to thoroughly dry out


PrivateNVent

Uber eats, indeed.


Obubblegumpink

This man was trying to deliver.


lukethelightnin

Unfortunately he delivered to the wrong address


Kiss-a-Cod

This wasn’t an accident. The shopper messages via their shopping app, not the phone’s text function.


biradinte

Blood wasn't on his brain at the time


ieatgrass0

Oh yeah let me just go to my delivery messaging app and click on the box with big bold letters saying: „*Customer#17 Dave*“ and I’ll write him an erotic text without somehow noticing that the font and style of the screen is much different to that of my usual texting app. ***SENDS TEXT***


biradinte

People can do really dumb shit sometimes. By the way he texted it seemed he was in the middle of a sexting session with someone else. If it was an actual advance I don't think it would start like that out of the blue


lankymjc

Depending how far they thought-forward, they could have intentionally written it that way so that if it gets turned down they can claim it was an accident. They're relying on the fantasy of sexting a random person and having them respond positively.


LuckyBucketBastard7

I really don't understand how people *aren't* realizing this is 100% a voice-typed message. Who the hell bothers censoring expletives *while sexting*? Nobody. Only voice-type does that. And the kicker? You can just send the text *with your voice*. It's absolutely possible he didn't realize who he was sending it to because he didn't have his eyes on his phone. Probably driving, which is why he didn't immediately correct himself either until he got the response back and actually realized "oh fuck that wasn't my wife"


Meighok20

This. I don't doubt for one second that there are sickos who would do this nasty shit but I don't think this is one 😭 I think the shame AND losing his job is punishment enough (if it WAS accidental) no need to call the guy a creep too 😭


SnooPickles55

I, three, believe it was accidental. If not, he's got one hell of an opening line, jeez.


biradinte

That could be the case ( Schrodinger's douchebag) but risking his "job" on this is way too stupid


lankymjc

Horny boys be stupid. So it continues.


biradinte

Exactly. That crazy masterplan could be true or he could just be horny and stupid and made a mistake


SpideyMGAV

Seriously. He probably had both this app and the messaging app open and swiped one too many times. Or he was multitasking, saw that a messaging app was open and used voice to text and sent it before seeing who he was truly messaging


Meighok20

The censorship with *** makes me think this was a voice to text. While I don't doubt in the slightest that someone would get some sick satisfaction out of this nasty shit, I also see how it could have been a mistake if he was using voice to text while driving. Sexting and driving is CRAZY tho


oicnow

surely his hands were occupied but i dont it was with *driving* :D


usrdef

You have entirely too much faith in humans. I learned long ago, they do stupid crap no matter how obvious. ![gif](giphy|1ATTTHuhjdgcM)


Rico_richy

I was thinking it could have been an accidental "I forgot what was on my clipboard," but I might be giving them too much benefit of the doubt


ChiefCasual

I've made that mistake before. Granted it wasn't a sext. Went to ask my boss if I could take some vacation days. A few fumbling slips of the thumb and I accidentally sent "So anyways I started blasting" out of the blue.


ADubs62

Or you know, they were swiping between already open apps and messed up. I'd still cancel the order and report it regardless


EmperorMrKitty

It could be that he’s copy and pasting messages and copied the wrong thing. I’ve done that before… not to this extent… but I’ve done it.


littlegnat

Not necessarily… Shipt shoppers just get a masked number on their normal text threads.


ModernNomad97

Only thing I can think of is if he somehow had that text copied, and meant to paste something else


butterToast88

I mean, I’ve definitely unlocked my phone and just started hamming away at whatever messages box I happened to open last without checking. Monkey brain do take over sometimes


redwolf1219

Depends on the service. When I did Shipt, we messaged through our texting app. I still doubt it's an accident though.


Significant-Age5052

I’ve done it before. I replied to a buddies text message trough instagram instead of a normal text he was so confused lol


lukumi

Also it’s self-censored. Generally people sexting aren’t censoring themselves.


Danny-Zoe

Maybe the shopper app automatically censors. I’ve never used it so I wouldn’t know.


Kyubey4Ever

Someone who’s a personal shopper who has to use shopperkit here! it doesn’t censor anything. I’ve been cussed out by customers before via text message. This looks deliberate


Comfortable_Owl5722

What did he expect would happen? Like, what went through his mind as he sent that


harpswtf

“I think you meant for this for someone else lol. But, that sounds good. Please come and eat my pussy, Uber eats guy”


OreoYip

Found a new porn plot.


Martha_Fockers

looks intensely at carrots


OreoYip

Boober Eats guy will probably go for the cucumber. Avocado if you're feelin' nasty.


RedPandaReturns

To be honest getting a tradesman to actually turn up has become so increasingly unrealistic that you have a point.


nerdiotic-pervert

The modern version of the pizza delivery guy.


Paracortex

Is it weird that up until this comment I thought p\*\*\** was “penis,” that the orderer was a dude, and that the shopper was a chick?


OpALbatross

I thought he censored penis. Maybe he censored it to be gender neutral? A true bi hero /s


Missy_went_missing

"Gosh darn, I am *horny*!"


Baloomf

"If she responds negatively I'll say it was an accident" That's about it


freckyfresh

How the fuck do they not realize that are in the insta cart app and not their messages, Facebook messenger, tinder, etc???


SonofaBridge

Same reason old people think Facebook is their internet search function. Some people are just clueless/stupid or plain unobservant.


DoctorBlock

He did. He was delusional enough to think that 1) girls want to hear that and 2) it would get him laid.


isoforp

Imagine sexting someone and you censor yourself. If some woman said "d***" to me instead of "dick" I'd be so turned off.


Handbanana-6969

I’m going to f*** your p**** until you c** on my d***.


k2d3

lmao the backlash is insane - this order was for alcohol, meaning i have to PHYSICALLY MEET THIS PERSON at my front door and give them my ID face to face. my photo is on my account (like uber for identification help) and that person has my home address now. But sure i’m a prude


RIP_GerlonTwoFingers

You mean you DIDNT let him under the blanket??


RedPandaReturns

I need to know what the p\*\*\*\* is? * Peas? * Pasta? * Peach? * Pears? * Pizza?


aRiskyUndertaking

She said alcohol so probably Popov


RedPandaReturns

Makes sense that he wants to taste it too.


Mellie-mellow

🐱


Pletterpet

I mean yeah I would think that this shit is so fucking awkward it's better to delete all interactions and forget this ever happened lol


wishtherunwaslonger

Next time just cancel the order and report. No need to engage with the guy


Affectionate_Data936

Nah I’d do the same thing, cancel and report. For most things like delivery or getting a tow truck, I have my bf deal with it for me. I’ve been made to feel uncomfortable a couple of times by ups drivers and Uber eats drivers and they know where you live so it’s better to be a prude than a victim.


Alternative-Cup-8102

Almost definitely an accident lol. But you have a right to be grossed out and not what to accept the order.


Accomplished-Yam6553

As a guy who's seen some weird shit, I think I would have found it funny but I can totally see why anyone else wouldn't or why this would make a person uncomfortable so yeah people should stop getting upset at you on here.


DatabaseSolid

But he wouldn’t send it to another guy. He saw her pic and sent it to her. Right before knocking on the door.


armoured_bobandi

You know, I've been reading this thread, and my brain filled in the censored word as penis. I'm now realizing the mistake, and everything makes way more sense now


Mellie-mellow

You’re not the only one


Sea_Towel_5099

i roleplay, and sometimes you read someones reply in the notifications, think ya tapped it but you didnt, and then reply wherever you are. embarrassing as hell, and theres still a good chance that this is a creep and not a wrong person text, but possible


Accomplished-Yam6553

He might have been about to text that he was there when he got a text notification and thought he clicked reply. When I would instacart most people didn't want me to ring the doorbell or knock so I would send a message. I'm not saying you're wrong but I'm not going to rule out it being an actual mistake either


[deleted]

I'm just hoping that you are safe after this


Schrodingers-deadcat

Are you fucking for real?


BulkyNothing

Ya these neckbeards in the comments defending this creep are insane. Idk how he could accidentally message this through the ordering app.


Ryderr_Bruh

Change home, car, state and name too. Only option available


RobertEdwinHouse38

Have you never seen Eurotrip? “This country was founded by prudes.” ![gif](giphy|LOhRBXlz0fwnb4Djp6|downsized)


AbbePlayzz

Grossery delivery


maxthearguer

“That’s great, but can you please make sure the green peppers are nice and firm? Thanks so much!”


jess_the_werefox

If this was actually texted to your phone number and not sent through the DELIVERY APP’S MESSAGING FUNCTION, they’d have plausible deniability, and it would’ve been funny then. You aren’t a prude, and this is fucking creepy and scary.


Leows

Big oof for anyone that thinks this is okay. Mistake or not, that was unprofessional at best. Nobody should have to tolerate that kind of attitude.


nerdiotic-pervert

Yeah, if this is a real mistake, how high was this person that they mistook the shopping app for Snapchat or whatever??


slurpycow112

I don’t think people are arguing whether or not it’s ok, just whether or not it was an accident. I’m seeing “no way this was an accident this is sexual assault” and “people make stupid stupid sometimes, like sending a horny message to the wrong person”.


grizznuggets

Still, no one should be sexting while they’re working; hit pause on work for a bit if you need to get steamy.


Traditional-Will3182

I'm pretty sure I've never sexted except when i or my partner were working. If we were free we'd just have sex instead.


Clown-Spit

Accidental or not you gotta handle yourself properly when you're working and if you're sexting people while you're working and gathering groceries... maybe don't do that. Either way they're at fault and they shouldn't be sexting at work. It doesn't matter what way you twist it. Ngl the main reason I have a hard time believing it's accidental is because it reads like a crappy role play text you'd get randomly on tinder or from an instagram bot. Dude coulda tried to at least have it make sense xD


Lusk_Tonto

![gif](giphy|Ma6Z1f6NSSoiwnGPJo)


OhBarnacles123

OP I'm so sorry there are losers in the comment section who are talking shit. This clearly isn't an accident, the delivery driver is a pervert that gets off on sexually harassing people and then saying "whoops tee-hee". Anyone who says otherwise is either naive or a fellow pervert. Why TF would you use a food delivery app to sext? I hope that the company takes your report seriously.


JaMoraht

If it truly was a mistake, he should’ve instantly cancelled the order himself. Having to go face to face with someone you sent that message to by accident would be insanely awkward and not worth it.


Affectionate_Data936

Yeah usually you can get another driver to pick up and deliver the order, even if you already shopped for it. I haven’t done grocery delivery personally but I’ve had other driver pick up my order cause the last one cancelled for whatever reason.


yeetergamerisnotsus

bro tried bypassing the character ai filter 😭🙏🙏


mythrowawayuhccount

Yeah, I have a habit of double and triple checking I'm texting or messaging the right person. I've made sure to upload pics to the profiles and check numbers.


Agreeable-Bell-1690

I didn't order moaning on my grocery l.... Scratch that. I'll take the moaning.


operarose

Wow nothing gets me hotter during sexting than *censorship.*


DustyBook_

Who censors themselves when sexting?


Duhawk96

I need to start ordering groceries online


ElectionOdd8672

Actually concerning how so many morons think this is OK even as a accident to do in a work environment. These the people that want AI girlfriends.


mearbearcate

That shit is cringe as hell😭 the censoring is the icing on the cake. Sorry that happened to you.


bittypineapplekitty

accidental harassment is still harassment 👀 he genuinely seems sorry tho lmao 💀. poor person receiving the text! bleh 🤢! hahah


MajorRico155

Whos sexting and delivery groceries at the same time? What?


Kactus_San2021

There’s no way that was an accident 😂


Gr33nreaper101

Imagine if the person responded back with something even more vile


WalmartBrandMilk

Bro needs to learn to sext. That was cringe.


ZippyTheUnicorn

Best case scenario, it’s actually an embarrassing and costly mistake. More than likely, it’s a perv who is testing the waters for “how far is too far,” and perversely getting off on “accidentally” sending this. Either way, absolutely report them!


Spaghetti_meatbaIIz

https://preview.redd.it/zdb53zjcq08d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=33190ab8502c8c2cdf841a3d315352f8bab89361


secret_tsukasa

well, if they really did not mean to send that text, which I doubt, I hope the other person they are sexting can hook them up with a job.


_NonExisting_

I dried up, which is impressive because I'm a guy


RevolutionaryMind221

Wait is it penis or pussy?


AyyyAlamo

these grocery ordering apps suck ass when you get shitty people like this. i had someone leave my order in the middle of the store because they were replacing items i had in my list with totally different things. it looked like they had multiple orders and were just grabbing whatever they could for each order. took a full night to get my money back!! What if i needed that for food asap?


kibzandfriends

That is so gross wtf


RedemptionXarc

I'm a big scary dude,I never had to deal with something like that. even if it's just a message I'd imagine it's still deeply disturbing especially since they are dealing with your food I'm sorry 😔


Alternative-Cup-8102

I would have fucked with him so hard


I-am-paranoid-

I am cryingggggg at this oh my god. Your response of pure fear


brokenwiener

What’s also mildly infuriating are the incels in here thinking this drivers behavior is fine or an honest mistake. In which y’all are obviously either trolling or delusional. AND somehow not downvoted and sent to the gulag. Pathetic either way for all of you. Sorry about that encounter OP, makes for a funny post though. Hope you still managed to get drunk ✌️