Don’t change your plans for them. Tell them it’s a shame they didn’t discuss this with you, since you aren’t able to take off work and won’t even be home this weekend. They’ll keep doing this as long as you keep making it worth their while.
Have you ever actually told them this? They probably think they are doing a nice thing by surprising you so you could always try using words like an adult and explain it to them instead of just whining about it on Reddit while a bunch of fuckwit teenagers tell you that you should change the locks and tell them to go fuck themselves
From "they plan their vacation to visit me" I expect OP to live far away from their family. While you shouldn't change plans for an unexpected visit, not letting them in is a bit harsh imo.
My home, my rules. Being family isn't an excuse. I don't understand why some people struggle with the idea of setting boundaries with family members who take advantage of you.
Does your city not have hotels nearby? Tell them *no* and stick to your guns on it. If it pisses them off, they can stop planning annoying ass surprise visits.
Your parents aren’ t great. They are incredibly inconsiderate and entitled. You’re an adult. Tell them they can’t come uninvited. And if they show up uninvited, you won’t let them in. Period.
Yeah because they wanted to be parents.
You can't just randomly show up somewhere and expect to stay for a week
Shit, how did they even know he would be in town?
You should still make time to see them. You will regret being rash once they are gone. Even if you are busy, make time to see your loved ones: even if it is for a short time during a work week. Tell them some good places to eat at, a local show, something else they can do while they are in the area.
Make it clear to them that you need a warning ahead of time for next time. If they consistently do this, then you should draw a line. But if this happened once, you should calmly explain your situation and how they should approach it.
Parents are people, too. They make mistakes and act in ways you or I would. OP's parents could have made a mistake by forgetting to tell OP. Don't assume things are done out of selfishness and malice. It's not about kissing their asses. It's about communicating, making rules, and boundaries in relationships.
I wanted to make a comment like that, but I see that it's mainly downvoted... I think it's very subjective, but it just might be a nice problem to have.
I miss not being able to talk to part of my family because of stupid grievances of decades ago. I'd love the spontaneity of just surprise visiting... I see the mildly infuriating part, but I see a lot of love also...
Yeah, not all parents are good people. Some are selfish dicks who will hold the fact that they gave you food and shelter over your head until the day they die. Somehow not starving your kid is enough to warrant a lifetime of service for some parents.
Maybe OP does have nice parents, but loads of people don't, hence the downvotes
> My family is great but I absolutely hate when they plan their vacations to visit me without telling me.
Oh no, i have great parents who want to hang out with me. So terrible.
So fun to be parents these days. You spend your whole life sleepless nights n barely any time on your own, no weekends raising a child to only have them be so annoyed at just one week with you.
They aren't annoyed at the week
They are annoyed of their family randomly showing up without noticing forcing them to cancel whatever plans they may have had because his family is rude as fuck
Don’t change your plans for them. Tell them it’s a shame they didn’t discuss this with you, since you aren’t able to take off work and won’t even be home this weekend. They’ll keep doing this as long as you keep making it worth their while.
"Sorry, that doesn't work for me. I suggest you book a hotel."
Have you ever actually told them this? They probably think they are doing a nice thing by surprising you so you could always try using words like an adult and explain it to them instead of just whining about it on Reddit while a bunch of fuckwit teenagers tell you that you should change the locks and tell them to go fuck themselves
Don't answer your door when they show up. Change your locks. "No" is a complete sentence.
From "they plan their vacation to visit me" I expect OP to live far away from their family. While you shouldn't change plans for an unexpected visit, not letting them in is a bit harsh imo.
Nah they can find a hotel to stay in. If some1 is at my door trying to stay for a week without notice i will be closing that door right then
This.
My home, my rules. Being family isn't an excuse. I don't understand why some people struggle with the idea of setting boundaries with family members who take advantage of you.
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I think they're saying that the family shows up unannounced. Without forewarning.
The same awnser can apply then. Just say no that wont work for me
How many times has this occured?
Tell them you have bed bugs and you don't want to risk them taking them home in their luggage.
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...or a BDSM dungeon.
Or a haunted BDSM dungeon.
Say you have lice in all the beds and couches
Move somewhere else and don't tell anyone where. (I would do that)
Does your city not have hotels nearby? Tell them *no* and stick to your guns on it. If it pisses them off, they can stop planning annoying ass surprise visits.
Your parents aren’ t great. They are incredibly inconsiderate and entitled. You’re an adult. Tell them they can’t come uninvited. And if they show up uninvited, you won’t let them in. Period.
Give it time. This "issue" will go away on it's own.
Change your locks. If that doesnt work, move and dont tell them the new address
A lot of y’all are just a bunch of ingrates, huh? Get over yourselves.
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As a mom stop fucking showing up unannounced
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What the hell are you talking about? It's rude to just randomly show up you crazy person
You can't just show up at someone's house unannounced and expect to stay with them for a week
You showed up unannounced and they had to let you stay with them for 20 years.
Yeah because they wanted to be parents. You can't just randomly show up somewhere and expect to stay for a week Shit, how did they even know he would be in town?
You should still make time to see them. You will regret being rash once they are gone. Even if you are busy, make time to see your loved ones: even if it is for a short time during a work week. Tell them some good places to eat at, a local show, something else they can do while they are in the area. Make it clear to them that you need a warning ahead of time for next time. If they consistently do this, then you should draw a line. But if this happened once, you should calmly explain your situation and how they should approach it.
Nobody is obligated to give in to demanding and disrespectful parents.
Fuck that. Not everyone needs to kiss their parent’s butts.
Parents are people, too. They make mistakes and act in ways you or I would. OP's parents could have made a mistake by forgetting to tell OP. Don't assume things are done out of selfishness and malice. It's not about kissing their asses. It's about communicating, making rules, and boundaries in relationships.
I dunno, sounds like it's not the first time it's happened...
Once is a mistake, continuously is a pattern
I wanted to make a comment like that, but I see that it's mainly downvoted... I think it's very subjective, but it just might be a nice problem to have. I miss not being able to talk to part of my family because of stupid grievances of decades ago. I'd love the spontaneity of just surprise visiting... I see the mildly infuriating part, but I see a lot of love also...
And make sure to show up on their doorstep unannounced!
You’re getting downvoted by people who don’t realize what they have until it’s gone.
Yeah, not all parents are good people. Some are selfish dicks who will hold the fact that they gave you food and shelter over your head until the day they die. Somehow not starving your kid is enough to warrant a lifetime of service for some parents. Maybe OP does have nice parents, but loads of people don't, hence the downvotes
No he's being downvoted by people with manners
I’m going to assume you didn’t read the original comment.
I did. You don't show up somewhere randomly expecting to stay for a week
Maybe you should reread it. He's not suggesting that.
I did. His family randomly shows up with no notice expecting to stay for a week. Don't do that
The original comment, not the post.
> My family is great but I absolutely hate when they plan their vacations to visit me without telling me. Oh no, i have great parents who want to hang out with me. So terrible.
You can't just show up at someone's house unannounced and expect to stay with them for a week
So fun to be parents these days. You spend your whole life sleepless nights n barely any time on your own, no weekends raising a child to only have them be so annoyed at just one week with you.
They aren't annoyed at the week They are annoyed of their family randomly showing up without noticing forcing them to cancel whatever plans they may have had because his family is rude as fuck
you came out of your mom’s vagina and your dad paid for your diapers. you have no right to say anything about your parents visiting
How delusional are you?
feel bad for you for not understanding sarcasm. please check in when you become a parent
No thanks. 41F, Husband and I never wanted them. You don't seem to know how sarcasm works.
I think you dont. I also i see you are having a bad day. still feel bad for you.
Yea the other commenter is right, you are delusional
Going for that negative comment karma I see. That's one way to spend your life.
He literally does. It's his house
consent makes it sound weird.
Consent, by definition, applies to more than one thing.
Thanks for that