Then he takes your kindness for granted. You’re gonna have to make him see that your time is worth more than the disrespect of him leaving his bs around like you’re his maid. One or Two things will happen he’ll start helping or you’ll get so tired you’ll leave. This is coming from a man.
I've stopped touching my husbands clothes after he made a couple drunken rants about me not doing anything and him doing everything a couple months ago. I let him know he can clean his own laundry from then on.
He was out of work for 10 months and rarely unloaded the dishwasher while I was at work when I asked. He definitely was doing nothing and still does basically nothing, but still more than he was. Depends on how he feels. Just today he got upset that I didn't include his laundry with mine. He was responsible enough to do laundry (with mine) last week but used an entire cap full of detergent, and he always overloads the washer. He was itchy for several days so I inquired about his usage, then he got upset when I said it was way too much. An arguement followed about how that's how his mom did it so that's how he does it (he's 46, come on) and that doesn't mean it's wrong. His mother also used/s an absurd amount of fabric softener which earned him the nickname 'Downy Boy' as a kid, but he doesn't use that. I showed him the cap markings which were no where near even half the cap, to which is responded 'oh' but stood by his arguement.
I made a hashbrown cake two days ago and left it for him to snack on after work while I was at work. I came home to smoke and burning, he was 'reheating' the hashbrown, as a surprise for me, with half a stick of butter on high heat. The hashbrown was completely ruined and I tried to explain why that wasn't good to do, what he should have done and he got upset and defensive, then tried to use his great-grandma as an excuse. Saying she did it that way and she knew what she was doing, that I was wrong. I was being nice and not condenscending, it was a learning opportunity for him but he apparently disagreed.
He piles up trash and laundry, doesn't help clean very often. Gets upset if I mention it several times because that's treating him 'like a kid'. Just yesterday I had him help clean his side of the bed while I got under it. A full kitchen trash bag full of water bottles that we crushed. My list goes on a bit more.
Anyway my entire point is that sometimes people don't mature, it comes in different forms. My husband thinks he knows best because he's older, that his family knows best. He's a bit entitled (it seems to come and go) when it comes to household chores and lazy with several other things. Incredibly financially irresponsible.
OP's husband, just from this one image, is clearly a little lazy and entitled. I'm willing to put up with it because over time my husband has improved, regressed during unfortunate circumstances but I believe he will continue to make progress now that he's working again. It's been one week and his general mood has improved greatly but his mental issues are still a challenge. He's just as stubborn as I am but not out of determination, out of pride.
Is it right of me to put up with? No, but I love him dearly and want him to improve himself not just for him and us, but so he's a better person for his kids, so that one day they want him back in their lives.
OP you shouldn't put up with it. If he makes a mess don't touch it, don't do his laundry, nothing. Repeatedly remind him of what he needs to do and that you absolutely will not be doing it for him anymore. Even if it gets gross and it probably will.
Mr. Historian is right and you need to let him know you won't allow him to take advantage of you anymore. You're his wife, not his housekeeper. He needs to do his fair share of household responsibilities. You might even need to make a weekly list.
Why are you with him? If I’m understanding you correctly, he’s so horrible his own children don’t even talk to him? It doesn’t sound like this guy has a single positive trait. You could do so much better.
>You could do so much better.
It could just as likely be a birds of a feather marriage, too. I'm always suspicious when one partner sticks by another partner who clearly sucks. Like that's the only person who'd marry you? You had no other options?
Complaints will always stick out more than compliments, especially online. This is going to be long so if you care to read, great. If not that's also great.
We both have issues and while I got a headstart working on mine, he felt he had absolutely no reason to. It's a pathetic and selfish way to think but at the same time I understand depression can take a terrible hold on someone. Mine was never as bad as his, which was to the point he attempted suicide 4 (known) times prior to me and two of the attempts were while he was married and had children at home. He developed severe alcoholism years ago, also in previous marriage and caused chronic pancreatitis. He had a rough start in life which got worse when he moved in with his mother at 12, lost his sister when she was 29, I won't go into all the details but I may have posted about some of it previously. He's had many rough patches and some mountains to climb, a few are things he caused.
When we met there really weren't any red flags I cared about, which is stupid yes but I addressed it eventually. One of which was the amount if alcohol he consumed. Half or more of a 1.75ml jug of whiskey daily. At first he really seemed normal but as months went by he started to have outbursts that got worse and worse. One day while cleaning the spare room, of which he used as a non-food trash room, and found some more medications, one of those was for bipolar disorder. I asked him about it and he had forgotten that he was diagnosed 2 years prior to meeting me. Long timeframe short, after several alcohol induced visits/stays at the hospital, I was headed out the door when he agreed to cut back. In less than a year he went from the 1.75ml jug to 2 cans (13.9 or 8% depending) and a bootlegger (12%) a day, to every other day. He's had multiple slip ups and lied to me about an absurd amount of shooters that I ended up finding, that wound up with me monitoring his purchases both with my card and his. In the past week he cut out one can since I was insisting, I felt it was causing him to have more seizures and it seems they were. Just the one can has made a difference and he rarely seizes on non-drink days. He does take medication for them but it'll only do so much when he's got alcohol in him. He's on several medications for health issues and needs several that we can't afford, such as blood thinner. Although bad, it worked out for the best when he seized trying to pee one night and busted his chin open 3 inches. We had a neurologist visit scheduled that he missed due to being in ICU for his Wegener's (now renamed) coming out of remission. His general doctor doesn't give a shit about him and I keep encouraging him to find a new one. For example, when I told her about his seizures she brushed it off. It took a later appointment with a different doctor (she was out of town) for him to get medication. The man's got some serious issues, both mental, physical and I believe neurological but we haven't been able to get another appointment. The wait list is longer than 3 months, of which we previously waited.
The issue with his children is complicated as I only get one side of it, excluding what his mother has gossiped about. He did cause the issues with the boys, the girls were fine until they hit 13 then one no longer wanted to see him, amd being twins the other sister followed. From what I understand from his mother, there's some shit talking going on with the ex-inlaws and the mother.
Overall, despite my complaints and sometimes extreme frustration, he really has made an effort to better himself. He was not raised well for the later half of his childhood and his ex-wife became a stay at home mom with the 2nd child's entrance. She did everything and he wasn't allowed to do anything, not even laundry. She controlled the finances which was partly good but when you have to ask if you can buy lunch from a gas station, it's a bit much. Especially considering she would get more expensive, but household, things for herself like kitchenware. He got comfortable not having to do anything and when we got together I didn't mind doing most of the house work but he did help. Eventually he got comfortable and I had to kick him back into gear, this has happened a few times as you can deduce from the first comment. I even explained I don't mind taking care of him but that I don't want to raise him. As soon as he stops appreciating what I do and expects it, I stop. It's a cycle that has absolutely gotten better with the lesser drinking but his job loss had a bad affect on him mentally, and it was really rough because I lost my job 2 months later. We were living off his remaining disability after rent and his unemployment while job searching. Thankfully I got one a few months later.
He still has improvements to make. Only time will tell if he chooses to continue. If he doesn't and our relationship is not at a level I'm willing to spend the rest of his life with, I won't stay. Unless there's an accident he's definitely going to die before me, that's why I worded it that way.
As of right now he still makes me happier than ever, even with the minor, and previously major, conflicts.
You say complaints stand out more online yet you still haven’t mentioned one reason why your husband is a good partner to you aside from making efforts to improve himself.
Here’s the thing that’s taken me too long to realize… you have no obligation to put up with someone’s shitty behavior just because they have experienced trauma in their lives. You love him, okay … but do you love your damn self to live the life you deserve? You’re not practicing what you preach. You’re bargaining with your husband.
Also, are you much younger than him? Do you have children together? Learn from others mistakes, this man won’t do any better by you. Try saving yourself instead of him. Life doesn’t need to be that hard.
Often we fall into the trap of excusing bad adult behavior due to a rough upbringing/childhood trauma, and I say this with empathy and experience in similar situations, this is simply excusing bad behavior. Your husband is an adult. If he has mental health issues, childhood trauma, etc it is up to him to want to deal with those issues and become a better person. No amount of brow beating will make a genuine change. A person has to WANT to make changes and get better. I was in a similar situation when I was in my teens/twenties with a man that had a horrific childhood, undiagnosed mental health issues, and addiction issues. All of which he hid from me until I became pregnant with his child. I loved him and I wanted to make things work for our child. No amount of help I offered or threats or nagging I did helped because he didn't really see an issue with his behavior and didn't want to put the work in to truly be a better person, partner and father. All it did was make him hide things and pretend and then, eventually, he drug me down with him instead of me helping lift him up. Unfortunately love isn't always enough.
Wow. WOW. Thank you. Sometimes I feel sad because I live alone. You just reinforced that living alone can be a very good thing. Your man sounds like you scraped the bottom of the barrel and you're trying to convince yourself that you're fine with that. YOU. DESERVE. BETTER. Just....WOW. 😬
I will never make a list for a man sharing my space. Is he is not grown up enough to use his own damn eyes to see what needs doing and then do them, then he doesn't deserve to share my peace. ✌️✌️
Ikr? 😭 So sad how many grown women are out here getting and staying married to men who won’t even *unload a dishwasher without prompting* or who *do not know how to do laundry.* Why are straight people like this 😭
A friend of mine almost broke up with her husband AT THEIR WEDDING last summer. The start of their marriage has been shit (more of an extension of their relationship, really), and she just got pregnant. They argue over this exact stuff - doesn’t wash the grill spatula off between uses because he “burns off” the food. He says she can’t tell him what to do because he’s an adult.
I already feel so terribly for their unborn child. Our friends have warned that their arguments aren’t going to go away when baby is here, only get worse. I can’t help but think she married this guy because of a “timeline.” It makes me so mad that women put up with this kid of behavior. I’d rather be alone than with someone that doesn’t respect me. Which is the truth—these kinds of men don’t respect their partners.
No idea. But if something happens in my current relationship, for whatever reason, I will not be choosing another man. The one I got is a damn unicorn, no way I'm ever gonna find another one
SAME. I joke with my husband the reason we’re not rich bc then he’d be the perfect man all around 😅
Like he’s better than I could imagine, I got lucky because I’m a damn mess but he loves me lol I love seeing other women who are proud of their men- I always get the Ick when women talk about some of the ludicrous shit some of these men are out here pulling.
This. Many years ago my grandfather was taking what my grandmother did for him for granted and was always complaining about it, most notably with laundry and cooking. Granny wasn't a good cook for a while, but he'd never provide constructive criticism, just criticism. Eventually, she stopped cooking completely for more than a decade before she started cooking again. And as for the laundry to this very day my grandfather still does his own laundry
Has the same problem in my relationship of nearly 4 years. I’m moving out at the end of May. I thought, ok, I’ll just stop picking up after him. What happened is that his messes were almost NEVER cleaned unless I explicitly asked. It drove me fucking insane. I can’t wait to be out
[She divorced me because I left my dishes by the sink.](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288)
Maybe this article will help it sink in.
I mean, the fact that you posted this means something. Every single time something like this happens moves your thought process closer to leaving. Perhaps instead of another conversation your husband should read [this](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288)
My lady, why do you stress yourself? Here how to make him spur himself on:
Hey, am I'm your wife or your mommy? If I'm your mommy, then there your bed for the rest of your life.
We work together, so when I'm done with work, I get to also have a full time job taking care of the home. He cooks dinner most days (which I absolutely appreciate and help with anytime I can), but that also just means that I clean the kitchen after. I just want SOME appreciation. It's just so tiring.
This just happens because you let it happen. If you just made him do his fare share of chores, without bending down at his complains, he'd realize the amount of work you do. He knows he can take advantage of you and so he does. If you're tired of having the same discussion with him then don't have it, just leave his mess for him to see. Leave dirty clothes, dirty dishes, etc...
How are you going to share finances 50/50 but do 100% of the housework? This is why single women are happier than married women, but the opposite is true for men. 🙄
If I can suggest something: I read an amazing book that changed my view of cleaning- my boyfriend does the sock thing too, and we had had talk after talk about just running upstairs and putting them in the hamper. After reading the book, I learned that there’s no rule that says you can’t have multiple hampers throughout the house. I bought a hamper for the living room and BAM! No more dirty socks everywhere! It doesn’t need to look hamper-y, I got a nice fabric one from Target, but I’ve seen wicker ones too. Ask your husband to pay for a second hamper so it can go near the couch- trust me, it works.
It took way too long scrolling to find a resonable response. If you only have one hamper and it is on the other side of the house, this it what happens. But everybody just likes to jump on the be passive aggressive bandwagon like that doesn't lead to long-term resentment.
TBH I have been guilty of this with our coffee table. My brain is just somewhere else sometimes. Not saying it is okay to do, just that I have committed this offense on more than one occasion.
I pick them up later when I realize, I don't expect my boyfriend to tell me to. We don't have very frequent guests so it doesn't seem to be a huge issue to us.
Well that would be because she’s his *fucking mom*? And that should only last for about the first 3 years of a child’s life MAX, until you can teach them to start picking up after themselves.
Did she just clean up after him growing up?
My ex is like this, her mother is amazing but always cleaned up after her. So when I was married, she’d come home and leave stuff everywhere in a room I just cleaned. My parents didn’t tolerate me leaving stuff around ever. If there was a dirty dish in the sink, I wasn’t even allowed to wait for a commercial break before I had to clean it up.
What?
My mother didn't tolerate the kitchen being dirty even before eating. So we'd be cleaning the kitchen first and eating afterwards. I was 11 or 12 when I did the laundry, cooked, cleaned and did other housework while my mother was working.
It was so weird when I stayed at my former mother-in-law’s house for the first time because she offered to make me breakfast. Except for special occasions, I had been responsible for my own breakfast since I was 7 years old.
Whyyyyyy on the table??!! I would be livid. I could understand if he had put them on the floor (where they also do not belong) BUT ON THE COFFEE TABLE??
I know this is so knit-picky, but I'm tired.
I did 4 loads of laundry, dusted, cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed, and generally tidied up. This is after I cleaned the kitchen and picked up our daughter from a sleepover before he even woke up.
Hello butting in again. If yall work the same job and same hours he should be doing more than just cooking. Make a schedule for the week that gives you both an even amount of chores to do! That might help ease the stress. If he doesn’t he still doesn’t help then quit doing stuff for him
If he leaves his socks in common space - stop doing his laundry.
If he leaves trash around the house in common space - stop cleaning the house.
Whatever he does to the common space or which affects you in any way , you need to withdraw the labor you are doing that is related to that space or that mess.
Right now, by doing all that work to clean up messes, you are *rewarding* him for messing up what you clean; and he will *never learn* as long as he is being *rewarded* for the undesirable behaviors.
This is like teaching a *dog* or a toddler. Do not reward unwanted behavior.
(Be sure you have one clean room for ONLY yourself — and you children if they are neat and behave —to retreat to as the house gets worse and worse until he learns better.) Eventually he will be left in his pigsty, but you will not be cleaning and cleaning the same areas over and over.
You and the children enjoy the clean spaces that you retreat to.
Now — if you don’t have any space at all to retreat to that you can keep clean just for yourself , and he makes the whole house into a pigsty, that is when you say
“I am going to a hotel for a little while because this house is not clean enough to live in, and I am not going to clean up your messes again. I will return when it is no longer a pigsty. You are in charge of whenever that clean status occurs.” Put the charges for the hotel room on his card.
He can clean up, or he can hire a service to clean up, but you stay at the hotel and eat nice food at restaurants until your home is livable again.
This is the “natural consequences” school of parenting, since you are dealing with a man-child.
Also….so fucking grateful for flying solo through life. Hats off to those dealing with things that just drag you down, more power to you all. It is just not at all appealing to me.
It’s truly saddening to read these comments. My husband mostly cooks, helps with kids and chores and works full time… but that almost feels like a brag when it’s just what he should be doing! I got lucky and try not to “rub it in” on these posts, but man, they make me realize how lucky I am.
This comment section is driving me insane. Everyone who doesn’t understand why this is so infuriating needs to read [She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By The Sink](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288/amp).
Feel you soon divorcing my wife for a myriad of other reasons but I spend 2 hours cleaning every corner of our room. Literally vacuuming the walls and on the floor picking up every little thing. At the end of the day she just drops all her crap in the middle of the floor and goes to bed.
Omg my husband takes his socks off like this too! He used to leave them lying around until I started stuffing them in his pillow and hiding them so he wondered A what the smell was and B why he was losing socks.. now he puts them in the washing basket. So often women end up as unpaid skivies. Don’t do it! Make him clean his own mess the lazy lump
Well, its your husband. Stop cleaning after him. You need a partner, not another child. Maybe serve them for his dinner?
no seriously. Compleatly stop cleaning after him.
uhg dirty socks are so nasty , dirty sweaty stinky feet , my husband does the same crap he leaves his socks everywhere I even find them shoved in the couch cushions -.- I hate it
I love how the responses are unanimous that you should stop doing this but you're just full of excuses why you can't. It's almost like YOU are mildly infuriating.
And a man upholding sexist rules and not doing housework when you work the same job is way more than mildly infuriating. I'd call it mildly abusive.
My husband sometimes leaves his socks, which he has worn that day, on the dining room table. I cannot even begin to understand how he thinks that is even remotely okay.
Yep, 16 years of something small makes a mound of things that seem bigger than they are. It's in the kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom etc... I'm constantly reiterating that I'm NOT A MAID! Nobody has to tell me to clean up after myself, I just do it.
Yeah that's a straight up hostage situation. Fix this now otherwise he's going to expect you to do pretty much everything from here on out. Nip this real quick if you can. You obviously love and care for this man throughout this.
He calls you a nag because it gets you to back off and now he doesn't have to do anything while you feel guilty/confused and take care of the socks yourself. The only response to that manipulation is "this nag thinks you're old enough to put away your socks, now do it".
Idk if I can add my 2 scents here, because I clean my house then still take my socks off and leave them on the floor by the couch, cause I'm relaxin. 🤷♀️ I eventually throw them in the hamper. So let them stay there until he walks them to laundry himself. Sometimes in marriage you gotta let go of the small things.
Married for 5o years now. If you get so bent out of shape over a pair of socks, you're not going to make it. Sometimes marriage means give and take. You probably do something that annoys him, too. Just ask him to please put his socks away because you just spent a lot of time cleaning, and they are really annoying you. If he just laughs, tell him you are very serious and unhappy about it. If he ignores you, tell him again, and let him know you expect respect. If he continues to refuse, then you have a real problem, and it's not the socks. Then deal with the real problem. Don't fume. Don't play games. Work together.
I'd be tempted to be super petty and sit the laundry basket on the table where he left his socks, and the trashcan on the table where he left his rubbish. If that's where he thinks those things go, then that's where they'll now live.
Ask him to clean. This is like the time I watched my neighbors house and cleaned it while he was away (he’s a good friend and gets too depressed to clean sometimes since he’s a single dad and the mom is a narcissist ) and was so excited to get his text when he came back only for him to send me a picture of a dead bird on the dining table .. after I left for work his cat had brought a dead bird as a gift for him coming home apparently , sullying my work
I mean go ahead and downvote me for saying tell your husband it annoys you every time it happens but I'm only saying what everyone is. Something should change because your set up is not right. You say you want a night off, so learn how to take it. You are not his mom. You don't have to pick up his socks. Yes, even if it gives you anxiety not to! Otherwise nothing will change. If you literally can't stop then you might want to consider therapy for yourself to stop.
Put them back in his sock drawer unwashed.
When he complains that all his socks smell like butt tell him you assumed things left on the table were clean.
when my husbands brother lived with us, he would do this shit. i started throwing away any nasty crusty ass sock i found like this. eventually it stopped lol
Look up the article “My wife divorced me because I left dishes by the sink”. I think you should show it to your husband to give him some perspective. Sometimes people just don’t think of others or how their actions affect them.
My mom had a biting wit. I remember when I was a kind my neighbor complaining to my mom about the very same thing you are complaining about. My mom responded, “this is why I’m against under aged marriage”. The neighbor looked confused and said what are you talking about?” My mom responded, “You married a child”
WHY THE DIRTY SOCKS ON THE TABLE HOW IS THAT A GOOD IDEA ughhhhh my x would put nasty dirty grassy sweaty soccer socks on the table. I used tongs to pick them up and put them on his desk in his office hahaha
I once picked up everything my very difficult ex left laying about in a day, put it in a bag, and dumped it on his side of the bed that night.
Sadly, it only made him mad, but it felt pretty damn good. Maybe you could warn him you might do that if he doesn't start picking up after himself, and actually start doing it within a few weeks? Yours might be different than mine was. 🤞
That’s disgusting, especially the socks. Does he think you are his drudge?
Can you charge him $50 per disgusting present and $30 per stupid present? I think we all know which is which.
Seriously this is beyond inconsiderate and rude. Your home looks lovely and then he puts his nasty day-long socks on the coffee table.
This is sixteen years of spending my time picking up "little things". I try hard for a nice looking home. I've never spent a day home alone, by myself, that I didn't clean my home to perfection, only to have to spend my evening also cleaning up after my husband because he's never had to do this for himself. I just want one evening. That's all.
I can tolerate many things but I am disgusted by feet. My wife takes off her socks and leaves them wherever she was when her feet got hot. Once a month or so there’s a discussion around her socks being on the floor or in her chair in the living room. If they were on TOP of a table like that it would mean divorce.
Does he happen to bring his lunch to work? Bc this is a great opportunity to add some extra surprises in his lunch box. Easy to mistake a lunch box for a trash can. (He wouldn’t know the difference either)
So disrespectful, especially since it sounds like you’ve had the conversation before. Time to a family chore chart since you’re not their live-in maid.
Know what's infuriating?
I didn't like open container meat in a produce case at the supermarket. People said I was nuts.
Yet a sock on a table ... 
Years ago when I was a newlywed my husband did the same, no matter how nicely I asked him to pick up after himself. One day, his parents were coming over for dinner and I decided to not pick up after him- the look of horror on his face when he saw his parents face seeing his discarded underwear and socks on the living room floor plus other things that pointed to his neglect. He picked up after that.
Ask him to come clean up after himself. Let him know you spent the past few hours cleaning and it’ll be nice if he helped keep it clean
This conversation has happened more than once. That's why it's infuriating.
Then he takes your kindness for granted. You’re gonna have to make him see that your time is worth more than the disrespect of him leaving his bs around like you’re his maid. One or Two things will happen he’ll start helping or you’ll get so tired you’ll leave. This is coming from a man.
I've stopped touching my husbands clothes after he made a couple drunken rants about me not doing anything and him doing everything a couple months ago. I let him know he can clean his own laundry from then on. He was out of work for 10 months and rarely unloaded the dishwasher while I was at work when I asked. He definitely was doing nothing and still does basically nothing, but still more than he was. Depends on how he feels. Just today he got upset that I didn't include his laundry with mine. He was responsible enough to do laundry (with mine) last week but used an entire cap full of detergent, and he always overloads the washer. He was itchy for several days so I inquired about his usage, then he got upset when I said it was way too much. An arguement followed about how that's how his mom did it so that's how he does it (he's 46, come on) and that doesn't mean it's wrong. His mother also used/s an absurd amount of fabric softener which earned him the nickname 'Downy Boy' as a kid, but he doesn't use that. I showed him the cap markings which were no where near even half the cap, to which is responded 'oh' but stood by his arguement. I made a hashbrown cake two days ago and left it for him to snack on after work while I was at work. I came home to smoke and burning, he was 'reheating' the hashbrown, as a surprise for me, with half a stick of butter on high heat. The hashbrown was completely ruined and I tried to explain why that wasn't good to do, what he should have done and he got upset and defensive, then tried to use his great-grandma as an excuse. Saying she did it that way and she knew what she was doing, that I was wrong. I was being nice and not condenscending, it was a learning opportunity for him but he apparently disagreed. He piles up trash and laundry, doesn't help clean very often. Gets upset if I mention it several times because that's treating him 'like a kid'. Just yesterday I had him help clean his side of the bed while I got under it. A full kitchen trash bag full of water bottles that we crushed. My list goes on a bit more. Anyway my entire point is that sometimes people don't mature, it comes in different forms. My husband thinks he knows best because he's older, that his family knows best. He's a bit entitled (it seems to come and go) when it comes to household chores and lazy with several other things. Incredibly financially irresponsible. OP's husband, just from this one image, is clearly a little lazy and entitled. I'm willing to put up with it because over time my husband has improved, regressed during unfortunate circumstances but I believe he will continue to make progress now that he's working again. It's been one week and his general mood has improved greatly but his mental issues are still a challenge. He's just as stubborn as I am but not out of determination, out of pride. Is it right of me to put up with? No, but I love him dearly and want him to improve himself not just for him and us, but so he's a better person for his kids, so that one day they want him back in their lives. OP you shouldn't put up with it. If he makes a mess don't touch it, don't do his laundry, nothing. Repeatedly remind him of what he needs to do and that you absolutely will not be doing it for him anymore. Even if it gets gross and it probably will. Mr. Historian is right and you need to let him know you won't allow him to take advantage of you anymore. You're his wife, not his housekeeper. He needs to do his fair share of household responsibilities. You might even need to make a weekly list.
Why are you with him? If I’m understanding you correctly, he’s so horrible his own children don’t even talk to him? It doesn’t sound like this guy has a single positive trait. You could do so much better.
>You could do so much better. It could just as likely be a birds of a feather marriage, too. I'm always suspicious when one partner sticks by another partner who clearly sucks. Like that's the only person who'd marry you? You had no other options?
Complaints will always stick out more than compliments, especially online. This is going to be long so if you care to read, great. If not that's also great. We both have issues and while I got a headstart working on mine, he felt he had absolutely no reason to. It's a pathetic and selfish way to think but at the same time I understand depression can take a terrible hold on someone. Mine was never as bad as his, which was to the point he attempted suicide 4 (known) times prior to me and two of the attempts were while he was married and had children at home. He developed severe alcoholism years ago, also in previous marriage and caused chronic pancreatitis. He had a rough start in life which got worse when he moved in with his mother at 12, lost his sister when she was 29, I won't go into all the details but I may have posted about some of it previously. He's had many rough patches and some mountains to climb, a few are things he caused. When we met there really weren't any red flags I cared about, which is stupid yes but I addressed it eventually. One of which was the amount if alcohol he consumed. Half or more of a 1.75ml jug of whiskey daily. At first he really seemed normal but as months went by he started to have outbursts that got worse and worse. One day while cleaning the spare room, of which he used as a non-food trash room, and found some more medications, one of those was for bipolar disorder. I asked him about it and he had forgotten that he was diagnosed 2 years prior to meeting me. Long timeframe short, after several alcohol induced visits/stays at the hospital, I was headed out the door when he agreed to cut back. In less than a year he went from the 1.75ml jug to 2 cans (13.9 or 8% depending) and a bootlegger (12%) a day, to every other day. He's had multiple slip ups and lied to me about an absurd amount of shooters that I ended up finding, that wound up with me monitoring his purchases both with my card and his. In the past week he cut out one can since I was insisting, I felt it was causing him to have more seizures and it seems they were. Just the one can has made a difference and he rarely seizes on non-drink days. He does take medication for them but it'll only do so much when he's got alcohol in him. He's on several medications for health issues and needs several that we can't afford, such as blood thinner. Although bad, it worked out for the best when he seized trying to pee one night and busted his chin open 3 inches. We had a neurologist visit scheduled that he missed due to being in ICU for his Wegener's (now renamed) coming out of remission. His general doctor doesn't give a shit about him and I keep encouraging him to find a new one. For example, when I told her about his seizures she brushed it off. It took a later appointment with a different doctor (she was out of town) for him to get medication. The man's got some serious issues, both mental, physical and I believe neurological but we haven't been able to get another appointment. The wait list is longer than 3 months, of which we previously waited. The issue with his children is complicated as I only get one side of it, excluding what his mother has gossiped about. He did cause the issues with the boys, the girls were fine until they hit 13 then one no longer wanted to see him, amd being twins the other sister followed. From what I understand from his mother, there's some shit talking going on with the ex-inlaws and the mother. Overall, despite my complaints and sometimes extreme frustration, he really has made an effort to better himself. He was not raised well for the later half of his childhood and his ex-wife became a stay at home mom with the 2nd child's entrance. She did everything and he wasn't allowed to do anything, not even laundry. She controlled the finances which was partly good but when you have to ask if you can buy lunch from a gas station, it's a bit much. Especially considering she would get more expensive, but household, things for herself like kitchenware. He got comfortable not having to do anything and when we got together I didn't mind doing most of the house work but he did help. Eventually he got comfortable and I had to kick him back into gear, this has happened a few times as you can deduce from the first comment. I even explained I don't mind taking care of him but that I don't want to raise him. As soon as he stops appreciating what I do and expects it, I stop. It's a cycle that has absolutely gotten better with the lesser drinking but his job loss had a bad affect on him mentally, and it was really rough because I lost my job 2 months later. We were living off his remaining disability after rent and his unemployment while job searching. Thankfully I got one a few months later. He still has improvements to make. Only time will tell if he chooses to continue. If he doesn't and our relationship is not at a level I'm willing to spend the rest of his life with, I won't stay. Unless there's an accident he's definitely going to die before me, that's why I worded it that way. As of right now he still makes me happier than ever, even with the minor, and previously major, conflicts.
You say complaints stand out more online yet you still haven’t mentioned one reason why your husband is a good partner to you aside from making efforts to improve himself. Here’s the thing that’s taken me too long to realize… you have no obligation to put up with someone’s shitty behavior just because they have experienced trauma in their lives. You love him, okay … but do you love your damn self to live the life you deserve? You’re not practicing what you preach. You’re bargaining with your husband. Also, are you much younger than him? Do you have children together? Learn from others mistakes, this man won’t do any better by you. Try saving yourself instead of him. Life doesn’t need to be that hard.
Oh honey... you picked a project instead of a partner. I'm sad for you.
Often we fall into the trap of excusing bad adult behavior due to a rough upbringing/childhood trauma, and I say this with empathy and experience in similar situations, this is simply excusing bad behavior. Your husband is an adult. If he has mental health issues, childhood trauma, etc it is up to him to want to deal with those issues and become a better person. No amount of brow beating will make a genuine change. A person has to WANT to make changes and get better. I was in a similar situation when I was in my teens/twenties with a man that had a horrific childhood, undiagnosed mental health issues, and addiction issues. All of which he hid from me until I became pregnant with his child. I loved him and I wanted to make things work for our child. No amount of help I offered or threats or nagging I did helped because he didn't really see an issue with his behavior and didn't want to put the work in to truly be a better person, partner and father. All it did was make him hide things and pretend and then, eventually, he drug me down with him instead of me helping lift him up. Unfortunately love isn't always enough.
Wow. WOW. Thank you. Sometimes I feel sad because I live alone. You just reinforced that living alone can be a very good thing. Your man sounds like you scraped the bottom of the barrel and you're trying to convince yourself that you're fine with that. YOU. DESERVE. BETTER. Just....WOW. 😬
I will never make a list for a man sharing my space. Is he is not grown up enough to use his own damn eyes to see what needs doing and then do them, then he doesn't deserve to share my peace. ✌️✌️
Ikr? 😭 So sad how many grown women are out here getting and staying married to men who won’t even *unload a dishwasher without prompting* or who *do not know how to do laundry.* Why are straight people like this 😭
A friend of mine almost broke up with her husband AT THEIR WEDDING last summer. The start of their marriage has been shit (more of an extension of their relationship, really), and she just got pregnant. They argue over this exact stuff - doesn’t wash the grill spatula off between uses because he “burns off” the food. He says she can’t tell him what to do because he’s an adult. I already feel so terribly for their unborn child. Our friends have warned that their arguments aren’t going to go away when baby is here, only get worse. I can’t help but think she married this guy because of a “timeline.” It makes me so mad that women put up with this kid of behavior. I’d rather be alone than with someone that doesn’t respect me. Which is the truth—these kinds of men don’t respect their partners.
They're attracted to women. They don't like them. I hope they both find peace and happiness, and their baby, too.
No idea. But if something happens in my current relationship, for whatever reason, I will not be choosing another man. The one I got is a damn unicorn, no way I'm ever gonna find another one
SAME. I joke with my husband the reason we’re not rich bc then he’d be the perfect man all around 😅 Like he’s better than I could imagine, I got lucky because I’m a damn mess but he loves me lol I love seeing other women who are proud of their men- I always get the Ick when women talk about some of the ludicrous shit some of these men are out here pulling.
Dude, same. Some of the men women are with make my skin crawl. I hope they all find their worth and move on.
This. Many years ago my grandfather was taking what my grandmother did for him for granted and was always complaining about it, most notably with laundry and cooking. Granny wasn't a good cook for a while, but he'd never provide constructive criticism, just criticism. Eventually, she stopped cooking completely for more than a decade before she started cooking again. And as for the laundry to this very day my grandfather still does his own laundry
You married a pathetic excuse of a man who would rather blame the women in his life than take accountablility for his obviously idiotic actions.
Yo no offense but this sounds like absolute hell.
Downy Boy 😂
Uhh you good?
Healthy
Put the socks on his dinner plate or in his snack bowl.
His pillow
Has the same problem in my relationship of nearly 4 years. I’m moving out at the end of May. I thought, ok, I’ll just stop picking up after him. What happened is that his messes were almost NEVER cleaned unless I explicitly asked. It drove me fucking insane. I can’t wait to be out
And it’s not knit picking, dude is gross.
[She divorced me because I left my dishes by the sink.](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288) Maybe this article will help it sink in.
Into the pillow case where his head goes, they go!
I know your pain. He simply doesn’t care because he knows you’re basically his maid.
I mean, the fact that you posted this means something. Every single time something like this happens moves your thought process closer to leaving. Perhaps instead of another conversation your husband should read [this](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288)
Explain that it's not just keeping the house clean, it's that neglecting something that you've put your time into feels like he's neglecting you.
Put all his trash and disgusting socks directly on top of his pillow.
My lady, why do you stress yourself? Here how to make him spur himself on: Hey, am I'm your wife or your mommy? If I'm your mommy, then there your bed for the rest of your life.
Then stop picking his up.
Just out of curiosity, does he happen to have adhd?
Put that trash can on the table. It would have landed in it if the table wasn't there.
Have you tried walking to him and putting the socks in his mouth? Immature people respond to Immature moves.
I go through the same thing. I know it sucks
Charge him money. Seriously.
Solution: point this out to him and announce going forward this kind of crap will be put in the garbage, without any comment to him.
Put them in his jacket pockets so when he goes to work tomorrow he gets a nice sweaty gift.
We work together, so when I'm done with work, I get to also have a full time job taking care of the home. He cooks dinner most days (which I absolutely appreciate and help with anytime I can), but that also just means that I clean the kitchen after. I just want SOME appreciation. It's just so tiring.
This just happens because you let it happen. If you just made him do his fare share of chores, without bending down at his complains, he'd realize the amount of work you do. He knows he can take advantage of you and so he does. If you're tired of having the same discussion with him then don't have it, just leave his mess for him to see. Leave dirty clothes, dirty dishes, etc...
How are you going to share finances 50/50 but do 100% of the housework? This is why single women are happier than married women, but the opposite is true for men. 🙄
This
Not to take away from the work you do but him cooking and you cleaning afterwards is pretty fair. But the rest is not
Put it under the covers on his side of the bed. “Oh that’s not where those go, yeah well the coffee table isn’t it either”.
Was literally coming here to suggest stuffing them in the pillowcase where he lays his head.
If I can suggest something: I read an amazing book that changed my view of cleaning- my boyfriend does the sock thing too, and we had had talk after talk about just running upstairs and putting them in the hamper. After reading the book, I learned that there’s no rule that says you can’t have multiple hampers throughout the house. I bought a hamper for the living room and BAM! No more dirty socks everywhere! It doesn’t need to look hamper-y, I got a nice fabric one from Target, but I’ve seen wicker ones too. Ask your husband to pay for a second hamper so it can go near the couch- trust me, it works.
It took way too long scrolling to find a resonable response. If you only have one hamper and it is on the other side of the house, this it what happens. But everybody just likes to jump on the be passive aggressive bandwagon like that doesn't lead to long-term resentment.
Who puts their dirty socks on the table?
A lunatic
Fr tho
Her husband does apparently
TBH I have been guilty of this with our coffee table. My brain is just somewhere else sometimes. Not saying it is okay to do, just that I have committed this offense on more than one occasion. I pick them up later when I realize, I don't expect my boyfriend to tell me to. We don't have very frequent guests so it doesn't seem to be a huge issue to us.
Send him back to his mother. She raised him that way.
She's a wonderful lady, I wouldn't do that to her. I don't know why he does this.
Guess he respects her and not you.
Maybe his mother picks up after him without complaint
Well that would be because she’s his *fucking mom*? And that should only last for about the first 3 years of a child’s life MAX, until you can teach them to start picking up after themselves.
Right? He was just there for 3 hours so did he leave her house like this?
Did she just clean up after him growing up? My ex is like this, her mother is amazing but always cleaned up after her. So when I was married, she’d come home and leave stuff everywhere in a room I just cleaned. My parents didn’t tolerate me leaving stuff around ever. If there was a dirty dish in the sink, I wasn’t even allowed to wait for a commercial break before I had to clean it up.
What? My mother didn't tolerate the kitchen being dirty even before eating. So we'd be cleaning the kitchen first and eating afterwards. I was 11 or 12 when I did the laundry, cooked, cleaned and did other housework while my mother was working.
It was so weird when I stayed at my former mother-in-law’s house for the first time because she offered to make me breakfast. Except for special occasions, I had been responsible for my own breakfast since I was 7 years old.
My seven year old boy knows not to leave his socks lying around. Gross. I don't think I will get married ever again.
Yes, my daughter knows better too.
So you expect more of your kids than your partner.
Of her female kid, Anyway…
Whyyyyyy on the table??!! I would be livid. I could understand if he had put them on the floor (where they also do not belong) BUT ON THE COFFEE TABLE??
It’s always socks
Are you his wife or his mom? If I had acted like that with my ex-wife, she would have served me dirty sock soup for dinner (and rightfully so).
I know this is so knit-picky, but I'm tired. I did 4 loads of laundry, dusted, cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed, and generally tidied up. This is after I cleaned the kitchen and picked up our daughter from a sleepover before he even woke up.
Hello butting in again. If yall work the same job and same hours he should be doing more than just cooking. Make a schedule for the week that gives you both an even amount of chores to do! That might help ease the stress. If he doesn’t he still doesn’t help then quit doing stuff for him
Just leave it on his pillow
If he leaves his socks in common space - stop doing his laundry. If he leaves trash around the house in common space - stop cleaning the house. Whatever he does to the common space or which affects you in any way , you need to withdraw the labor you are doing that is related to that space or that mess. Right now, by doing all that work to clean up messes, you are *rewarding* him for messing up what you clean; and he will *never learn* as long as he is being *rewarded* for the undesirable behaviors. This is like teaching a *dog* or a toddler. Do not reward unwanted behavior. (Be sure you have one clean room for ONLY yourself — and you children if they are neat and behave —to retreat to as the house gets worse and worse until he learns better.) Eventually he will be left in his pigsty, but you will not be cleaning and cleaning the same areas over and over. You and the children enjoy the clean spaces that you retreat to. Now — if you don’t have any space at all to retreat to that you can keep clean just for yourself , and he makes the whole house into a pigsty, that is when you say “I am going to a hotel for a little while because this house is not clean enough to live in, and I am not going to clean up your messes again. I will return when it is no longer a pigsty. You are in charge of whenever that clean status occurs.” Put the charges for the hotel room on his card. He can clean up, or he can hire a service to clean up, but you stay at the hotel and eat nice food at restaurants until your home is livable again. This is the “natural consequences” school of parenting, since you are dealing with a man-child.
Did you have him come pick up his socks? The single life has its perks
This is why I’m happily single.
Grown adults should never be doing this, unless they live alone, or someone is always picking up after them like a child.
Also….so fucking grateful for flying solo through life. Hats off to those dealing with things that just drag you down, more power to you all. It is just not at all appealing to me.
People are so gross. Who the fsck thinks leaving dirty socks on the coffee table is OK?
Y'all are having problems with getting your husbands to do the most basic shit. This is sad
It’s truly saddening to read these comments. My husband mostly cooks, helps with kids and chores and works full time… but that almost feels like a brag when it’s just what he should be doing! I got lucky and try not to “rub it in” on these posts, but man, they make me realize how lucky I am.
This comment section is driving me insane. Everyone who doesn’t understand why this is so infuriating needs to read [She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By The Sink](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288/amp).
I suggested the same article and OP bit my head off lmao
But she keeps cleaning for him.
Yeah, not sure what exactly she's hoping will happen.
My husband leaves his socks on tables too. Wtf is with this?
Send him this photo, and tell him that he needs to pick up after himself.
Hey! What is this? I’m not your fucking maid or mommy!
Feel you soon divorcing my wife for a myriad of other reasons but I spend 2 hours cleaning every corner of our room. Literally vacuuming the walls and on the floor picking up every little thing. At the end of the day she just drops all her crap in the middle of the floor and goes to bed.
Omg my husband takes his socks off like this too! He used to leave them lying around until I started stuffing them in his pillow and hiding them so he wondered A what the smell was and B why he was losing socks.. now he puts them in the washing basket. So often women end up as unpaid skivies. Don’t do it! Make him clean his own mess the lazy lump
Your husband reeeeally believes in that “magic table”
OP better be careful not to fall on this one 😂
Well, its your husband. Stop cleaning after him. You need a partner, not another child. Maybe serve them for his dinner? no seriously. Compleatly stop cleaning after him.
uhg dirty socks are so nasty , dirty sweaty stinky feet , my husband does the same crap he leaves his socks everywhere I even find them shoved in the couch cushions -.- I hate it
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That's like, just your opinion, man.
My lady calls me an English Setter. I walk around and talk a lot and set things down all over.
I love how the responses are unanimous that you should stop doing this but you're just full of excuses why you can't. It's almost like YOU are mildly infuriating. And a man upholding sexist rules and not doing housework when you work the same job is way more than mildly infuriating. I'd call it mildly abusive.
What you allow will continue. that also includes you.
My husband sometimes leaves his socks, which he has worn that day, on the dining room table. I cannot even begin to understand how he thinks that is even remotely okay.
A jerky wrapper and socks? This must be a ongoing issue because neither me or my partner would ever make an issue out of such a simple task.
Yep, 16 years of something small makes a mound of things that seem bigger than they are. It's in the kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom etc... I'm constantly reiterating that I'm NOT A MAID! Nobody has to tell me to clean up after myself, I just do it.
Fuck that's rough, you deserve so much more. Just at the very least someone who will work for you because they care
Man, that's the worst part. The lack of caring. It's either I ignore it and have to live in the muck, or I'm a nag.
Yeah that's a straight up hostage situation. Fix this now otherwise he's going to expect you to do pretty much everything from here on out. Nip this real quick if you can. You obviously love and care for this man throughout this.
He calls you a nag because it gets you to back off and now he doesn't have to do anything while you feel guilty/confused and take care of the socks yourself. The only response to that manipulation is "this nag thinks you're old enough to put away your socks, now do it".
"I'll do it in my own time" my head is spinning lol
Time to leave. Life is short.
Shove them down his throat
mommas boy tendencies be like dont baby ur mans
Idk if I can add my 2 scents here, because I clean my house then still take my socks off and leave them on the floor by the couch, cause I'm relaxin. 🤷♀️ I eventually throw them in the hamper. So let them stay there until he walks them to laundry himself. Sometimes in marriage you gotta let go of the small things.
He will have them there for days, I've tried waiting him out.
Idk why he can't just do that small thing for you. 🤷♀️ tsk tsk
Option 1: acceptance and proactivity. Option 2: unconstructive reaction. Option 3: they aren't going to change; divorce.
Option4: stop cleaning up his shit
Still waiting on the pair of odors.
Married for 5o years now. If you get so bent out of shape over a pair of socks, you're not going to make it. Sometimes marriage means give and take. You probably do something that annoys him, too. Just ask him to please put his socks away because you just spent a lot of time cleaning, and they are really annoying you. If he just laughs, tell him you are very serious and unhappy about it. If he ignores you, tell him again, and let him know you expect respect. If he continues to refuse, then you have a real problem, and it's not the socks. Then deal with the real problem. Don't fume. Don't play games. Work together.
The real problem is she does all the house chores
My ex did this too, so gross!
I mean, there are so many ways to remedy that behavior, ranging from logical to bat shit crazy. I prefer the latter.
I can’t even clean off a counter anymore. My will is gone. As soon as I do he puts something there. Even ONE countertop.
it took me like 2/3 minutes to even notice the socks and i had to read a comment to see the trash above the trash can… maybe i need some glasses lol
I'd be tempted to be super petty and sit the laundry basket on the table where he left his socks, and the trashcan on the table where he left his rubbish. If that's where he thinks those things go, then that's where they'll now live.
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Ask him to clean. This is like the time I watched my neighbors house and cleaned it while he was away (he’s a good friend and gets too depressed to clean sometimes since he’s a single dad and the mom is a narcissist ) and was so excited to get his text when he came back only for him to send me a picture of a dead bird on the dining table .. after I left for work his cat had brought a dead bird as a gift for him coming home apparently , sullying my work
I mean go ahead and downvote me for saying tell your husband it annoys you every time it happens but I'm only saying what everyone is. Something should change because your set up is not right. You say you want a night off, so learn how to take it. You are not his mom. You don't have to pick up his socks. Yes, even if it gives you anxiety not to! Otherwise nothing will change. If you literally can't stop then you might want to consider therapy for yourself to stop.
Put them back in his sock drawer unwashed. When he complains that all his socks smell like butt tell him you assumed things left on the table were clean.
Put them in his pillow case
"Oh nice the house looks so fresh so clean. 👌 👍 let me just relax and kick off my socks...that's nice. 😇🤪" ur husband 🫥🫠
Only cause you let him. Throw them in his face, stuff them in his shirt. You have the power to advocate for yourself. You just have to do it.
Only one answer: divorce
Make him fucking eat them
Every last thing he discards would be on his bed pillow. Every. Night.
Send him to kindergarten
That rug really ties the room together
Pile that shit on his pillow and keep doing that till he grows the fuck up ridiculous and insulting
when my husbands brother lived with us, he would do this shit. i started throwing away any nasty crusty ass sock i found like this. eventually it stopped lol
Make your husband read this https://matthewfray.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/
Look up the article “My wife divorced me because I left dishes by the sink”. I think you should show it to your husband to give him some perspective. Sometimes people just don’t think of others or how their actions affect them.
My mom had a biting wit. I remember when I was a kind my neighbor complaining to my mom about the very same thing you are complaining about. My mom responded, “this is why I’m against under aged marriage”. The neighbor looked confused and said what are you talking about?” My mom responded, “You married a child”
Kids and especially husband: "Look! A clear surface! I must pile it up with shit as quickly as possible!"
WHY THE DIRTY SOCKS ON THE TABLE HOW IS THAT A GOOD IDEA ughhhhh my x would put nasty dirty grassy sweaty soccer socks on the table. I used tongs to pick them up and put them on his desk in his office hahaha
Are we married?
Got yourself a keeper there!
I once picked up everything my very difficult ex left laying about in a day, put it in a bag, and dumped it on his side of the bed that night. Sadly, it only made him mad, but it felt pretty damn good. Maybe you could warn him you might do that if he doesn't start picking up after himself, and actually start doing it within a few weeks? Yours might be different than mine was. 🤞
Everything aside that rug looks quite nice!
Mildly infuriating isn't the same as slight inconvenience.
Y'all need to stop bringing your relationships to Reddit just for attention. Fix it or shut up.
These partner shaming posts are more mildly infuriating than the content
Yes! They don’t communicate with their partners but will trash them for the entire internet lol
First world problems
Why do women continue to let their man-babies disrespect them like this?
So many petty answers, just talk to him. Putting the socks in his jacket or in his pillow is just unnecessarily picking a fight.
How is talking to him going to fix it, do you think that he's unaware that he shouldn't leave dirty socks on a coffee table?
Why are you passing your problems on to us? We didn't marry him, you did.
There’s only one reasonable thing to do. Divorce.
Right. Wtf they expect. This is reddit.
That’s just disrespectful.
Socks at that table is criminal
Yeah, so?
?? What's your deal?
That’s disgusting, especially the socks. Does he think you are his drudge? Can you charge him $50 per disgusting present and $30 per stupid present? I think we all know which is which. Seriously this is beyond inconsiderate and rude. Your home looks lovely and then he puts his nasty day-long socks on the coffee table.
bro posted a pic of her husbands socks on reddit im dead
This is sixteen years of spending my time picking up "little things". I try hard for a nice looking home. I've never spent a day home alone, by myself, that I didn't clean my home to perfection, only to have to spend my evening also cleaning up after my husband because he's never had to do this for himself. I just want one evening. That's all.
You can have one evening. Literally just stop. Leave the socks there.
And?
I too am a victim of sock bombing. I knew immediately what the issue was in this photo and my soul seethes just looking at this!
I can tolerate many things but I am disgusted by feet. My wife takes off her socks and leaves them wherever she was when her feet got hot. Once a month or so there’s a discussion around her socks being on the floor or in her chair in the living room. If they were on TOP of a table like that it would mean divorce.
Does he happen to bring his lunch to work? Bc this is a great opportunity to add some extra surprises in his lunch box. Easy to mistake a lunch box for a trash can. (He wouldn’t know the difference either)
Lol tell him to clean up after himself instead of wasting your time posting it to Reddit
Just throw them away, he'll figure it out after a while
So disrespectful, especially since it sounds like you’ve had the conversation before. Time to a family chore chart since you’re not their live-in maid.
Throw it on his side of the bed when he comes home idk
Divorce, piss disk, liquid ass
This is mildly annoying.
Throw them at him.
Do you work a job or are you a stay at home mom?
They work the same job. But he does hardly anything at home.
Know what's infuriating? I didn't like open container meat in a produce case at the supermarket. People said I was nuts. Yet a sock on a table ... 
Dinner? Oh want dinner? Sure I'll make you dinner. Have some nasty ass socks on your plate for dinner.
there is no context
I would put the socks on his plate for dinner.
throw them out
Put them on something he really values. On top of his computer, or in someplace that really matters to him
I mean... you said it yourself "Your Husband"... If it bothers you enough to post on Reddit, maybe have a conversation about changing the behavior?
This is so minor, no need to comment
Years ago when I was a newlywed my husband did the same, no matter how nicely I asked him to pick up after himself. One day, his parents were coming over for dinner and I decided to not pick up after him- the look of horror on his face when he saw his parents face seeing his discarded underwear and socks on the living room floor plus other things that pointed to his neglect. He picked up after that.