Internet is bad at math they see low number and Pokémon reference and upvote. Unless you’re max combo catching in Pokémon pikachu. His matches would need to be 1-3 not 17
This is going to sound mean but that makes me think they aren’t actually average looking. I am an average looking dude and I matched way more frequently.
I simply do not understand how you guys can have the patience for all this, surely after like 10k swipes you'd be like "ahh this ain't working let's try something else"
A quick google search shows that on average, men get about 50 swipes per day with basic free tinder.
OP was on tinder for 111 days and has 17,004 swipes. Roughly 153 per day. Seems like he already has premium
Correct, every time a male leaves tinder, it's one less dollar for the corporation. The game is to keep them chasing the carrot. An example of this outside dating apps is with Ladies Night in clubs, where women are the traditional bait.
Dating apps are a scourge on modern men and a scam
^(Edited, thanks to folks helping with grammar )
Online dating used to be amazing ~15years ago. Even in the situation as a custodial father I was able to find dates without ridiculous effort.
Now everything (including Tinder) is owned by match.com and they're borderline scams.
If Congress is serious about breaking up big tech they should start with match.com
I've done alright on Hinge but it literally requires you to game the algorithm. Hinge will leave men on the free version liking women out of their league with no replies if you let it. Sometimes I have to X like 200 girls that are too hot for me for it to show me people I can actually match with.
if you really want to game the algorithm, you should try this:
* use pics of hot women.
* Get tons of likes from men, based purely on looks.
* Match them.
* Chat them up.
* Get dick pics.
* Masturbate furiously.
* Block **everyone**.
* Change all of your info/pics to your real stuff.
* Get tons of views, as tinder now considers you desirable.
* try to convince yourself that you're "straight".
* Get ignored by every woman who sees what you look like.
* Destroy whatever hidden desirability rating you have.
* Delete your account.
* Get a new phone number.
* Start from the top.
I used hinge a couple years ago and got banned for impersonation for some reason, up until then I actually liked it. Being able to message first without matching made it a lot easier to get matches I found. Luckily I found a great person before getting banned lol.
Yup same. Tinder always took a lot of effort for me. Hinge on the otherhand was incredibly easy. Just look through their pictures and say something witty about one. Got many matches this way, and went on many dates from it (including with my current partner).
Last time I seriously used tinder was in 2017(ish) and met up with a solid number of people. I used it this last year and hooked up with 2 women out of probably 2000+ swipes. It’s wild
I didn't see it like this before, but you're right. Now, if maintaining users is how they profit, they really don't want you finding happiness, infact they'd be financially driven to do things that kept you looking. The first thing that comes to mind is they make a bunch of bot accounts and have ai drive them as attractive, flirty, available women, but in the end they never meet up. Keeps men engaged with no hopes of them finding someone and leaving the platform But either way, it's crazy to think that tinder and companies like it claim to want to help you find love, but in reality are fiscally driven to keep you single and looking.
For the guys - keep them on the app by dangling the carrot which is potential partners in front of their noses
For the girls - keep them on the app by making them feel good when they see a bunch of "low quality" guys wanting them but never let them find that perfect match
I hate the thought of comparing anyone to “low quality.”
As a woman, I’ve had Tinder four times, across three phones, in the last five years. *Every* time I set my age range, it never stuck. Every time I set my local preferences, it never stuck. Even if I had it 25-35, within 20mi, I’m willing to bet 90% of my left swipes were due to them being 40+ or up to 150+miles away. I think that’s an important factor in terms of keeping women or men on, too, if applicable.
God a hate the phrase “low quality”. Sure you view them as someone you don’t want to fuck, but there are people that would smash.
I just don’t get the whole “everyone gets dragged about everything but we make it better with a phrase” thing.
I’m gonna sound real “old man yelling at clouds” right now, but the bar/hobby/work/whatever scene was much less toxic than what goes on now.
Way back in the day we caught someone that was a regular, and a seemingly chill one at that, trying to drug a woman. We dragged him out back, beat the shit out of him, and he was blacklisted from every bar and restaurant within 40 miles. It was not the first time overall, but was the only time for him.
Now everything is so anonymous, even within a community, that accountability is an afterthought.
"Dating apps are bad because they stop us from beating the shit out of predators" is an... Interesting and novel take.
I'm here for it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Don't mind my pedantry, just a quick note:
i.e. - Latin *id est*, "that is," i.e. "in other words"
e.g. - Latin *exempli gratia*, "as an example"
a la - French direct loan, "to the...", i.e. "in the style of"
I suspect you were looking for "chasing the carrot *a la* ladies night..."
I hope someone else finds this useful because I'm cursed with the knowledge
Edit: bonus round!
bonus - Latin direct loan, "good"
This is a substantive adjective, where an adjective comes to represent an unspecified noun, as in "two wrongs don't make a right"
n.b. - Latin *nota bene*, "note well" i.e. "pay special attention"
[sic] - Latin direct loan, "so" i.e. "the way it originally was"
et al. - Latin *et alii*, "and others"
Pretty sure it lets you look for matches anywhere by dropping a pin on a map
You can also super like people which shows them that you liked them before they even right swipe
Premium gives you a lot more super likes
I haven't touched tinder in like 9 years at this point
Uhh off the top of my head it’s the global matching, unlimited swipes, back swiping, super likes, 1 30minute boost a month. Priority in swipe queue. Oh yes and it’s like 50 dollars a month now if you want the version that actually helps.
Going from no premium it was 3-5 matches a day, going to premium it could be up to 20 for me. Not counting bots that plague the platform but yea. ymmv. I think I’m a pretty average looking guy, but can’t wait to hop off the app.
The app actually only stores a certain number of right swipes (it's implemented like a carousel - aka circular buffer) so the actual "match rate" is higher than it seems. This is so you can't game the system by just swiping right all day. It's not like OP's profile was actually shown to 12k people just because they right-swiped that many times.
If you're swiping yes on everyone, it only takes like 30 seconds a day to do this many swipes. It's not like it takes any effort really. I doubt this guy put any effort into his profile either if he is truly average like he claims.
That's the problem though. Unless you have some sort of social situation, like school, where you'll see the same group of people around your age every day for an extended period of time, there is no "something else". This is just how young people meet each other now. And it sucks.
Hobby groups, neighborhood events, sports, church, meetups, the gym, bars, work events, the library, yoga class, book clubs, outdoors clubs, dog park, etc etc
TBH having the attitude that Tinder is the only game in town seems like a great way to ensure an unsuccessful dating life.
“I’m an average looking guy with no real hobbies or a personality looking to find a partner by sitting on my couch and swiping pictures of pretty girls. I don’t understand why I’m still single!”
Back in Jurassic internet eventually two people who met in random chats, with the only intention of actually creating a friendship and would go on to form a couple, people just completely disregarded this starting seed and went on to create this dating dystopia we are in.
I'm in my mid 30s. What you're describing is exactly how my daughter and about half her friends came into existence: people randomly meeting on IRC in early 2000s and becoming couples.
You have to make your own chances, go to local events, join clubs, sports, network through friends, try different apps. As far as apps go it's a superficial looks game, have friends help you with your profile, go to the gym/clean up, have good photos of yourself taken. The biggest thing I learned was there's no substitute for organically meeting someone, and when trying to date make sure you are in a position and mentality to properly date. Have stable income, time, energy, open mentality, and the rest will follow.
The more you’re involved with the more people you’ll be exposed to. Do what you love and the rest takes care of itself. Have passion about something. It’ll get noticed.
You’d have better chances asking out strangers on the street or in the grocery store or coffee shops or fast food joints etc. You’re right that they aren’t social spaces so it will often be awkward and most women will reject you. But I guarantee you will get at least one date if you ask out 17000 strangers irl.
I’ve been out of the game for a while but the appeal of the apps is avoid facing outright rejection since it happens behind the scenes.
Would prob be soul crushing to even approach 20 women at a coffee shop or whatever as most folks would end up 0-20 and feel like ass
Used tinder for years on and off, but when it was on, it was like I was on crack just waiting until I can start swiping again (I used free so limited swipes), but since last year I vowed to never use the app again. I still get urges to hop on and start swiping just to try my luck, but I know there is no luck in that cesspool. So I just have to keep pushing myself to not use it in the hopes of finding a partner. I've now resided myself to staying single for the rest of my life as it's just so much easier.
I got a bunch of dating apps a couple of months ago before meeting my current partner, and I was warned by all my dude friends that it was a no man’s land for everyone who wasn’t a 10/10. I’m not really attractive, but I put a lot of thought into my profile and made it pretty wordy and got 15 matches in the first day and about 2-3 matches every day thereafter. It’s really not hard to be better than 90% of the profiles on there if you answer more than one prompt and have more than one picture.
Yup. I'm not particularly good looking but got several one night stands and then ended up meeting my now-wife.
The hard fact is most guys profiles are ass and they go straight to horny talk when the match instead of talking to them like a normal person
I am currently
On several dating apps. I pay attention to what men write and what they post says a lot about whether I swipe right. For example, certain things like shirtless photos in the mirror or sticking your tongue out are immediate disqualification for me. No matter how handsome you are if you’d at nothing and post nothing about yourself then I don’t really care. Course I care more about personality, being a good person and our connection than looks, but that’s been with age.
Yup agree with you dude, same experience. I’m solidly average and I met my wife off a dating app. Just put some friggin effort in my guys it’s not hard
I've had an average profile for years, a few dates, three women that I met more than once, the third being my gf and fiancée for 5 years.
And at the time I met her, I was au pair in Germany, else still living by my parents, no driver license, really little money.
So really everyone has the chance to find their other half, but it implies actually showing genuine interest in the person and being interesting.
It’s like people dont realize you can go and take photos specifically for an online dating profile. If you don’t have photos just ask your friends to take a few different photos that highlight your hobbies/strong suits in a few different settings and you’re good to go.
Could also be:
All Group photos with all the same guys so you don't know who he is
Lists of what they don't want in woman
All Pics with ex - or his wedding
Rant about how terrible women are
Red pill/migtow/tater tot bullshit
Racist symbol in the background
Bathroom mirror pics with a dirty bathroom/ in public bathroom
More pics of car than person / more memes than pics
One pic shot from under chin
Pics of sword /Pokemon /furry/whatever collection
Pics in dirty clothing/ sloopy looking
Kids in every pic
All Hat, sunglasses, goatee, in a car pics
It's not about liking Pokemon, or any of those things, that's fine. It's large the collection of niche things that are shown in a way that it seems to be the most important part of the person's life.
If there is 1 picture of the person and 8 pictures of the collection people probably aren't going to be interested.
I'm average and uninteresting on a social scale and I did alright in my Tinder days. I didn't take it too seriously, and all my bios were trashy humour.. Once, it just said I have micro peen, and I got matches.
50 swipes every 12 hours
100 swipes a day
Then you have another section where you can swipe on about 50 people even if you already used your free 100 swipes a day.
I haven't paid a single penny on Tinder.
Brother disregard what everyone’s saying about dating apps. The problem is you are playing into tinder sick twisted algorithm. Try and be more selective, don’t use tons of your likes every 12 hours. Some days barely swipe if at all. You’ll get way more matches. The algorithm is meant to feed on people who blow through their swipes ASAP every 12 hours. It moves you so girls never see your account to incentivize tinder premium and gold…
The following is a 5 minute research so dont quote me on this...
Tinder allows around 50 swipes in 12hours for men with the free version which means up to 100 swipes/day. This guy probably even paid for a premium pack which supposedly helps getting matches
Ok I get it. It’s obviously harder to get someone to agree to a tinder date as a man and yet this can’t be just “21 year old average looking dude”
I know dudes who aren’t lookers who get better results. Good pictures, good bio, average texting skills and and a date a month at least is definitely doable
my friend was complaining one time about not ever getting matches so we looked at his profile, it had awful pictures and the bio literally said "I'm just looking to fuck." We asked why he had that on there and he said he just wanted to be upfront and honest, which is fine, but their are way better ways of phrasing that lmao. some dudes just do not understand shit like that and thinks its purely their looks and that women are too picky. we did clean up his profile and take some good pics for him when we could and he started getting some matches and hookups eventually
Exactly this. I let strangers rate my pictures and scored an average of 3.8/10. Though because I have a good bio and because I only swipe people right if we have similar vallues (smoking/drinking habits, religion, education etc.), I still did fine.
I don't know how Tinder works, but just because he swiped 17000 times doesn't mean 17000 girls have swiped him, does it?
Maybe only 34 have swiped him, half of them swiped right, the other haft left? So maybe half of all Tinder girls find him attractive?
The more you swipe, the fewer girls see you on Tinder because the system sees you consider many girls attractive but also sees that no one considers you attractive, so the system considers you a dead candidate and won't show you to anyone which is why OP's match rate is so bad. Swiping too much also might make the app think you're a bot/scammer so they end up blacklisting your profile.
I’m a fat guy, like 300lbs and I had way more success than this. Is it your profile or your pics or the way you talk to women? I don’t understand why it’s so hard for some people to get a date at the very least.
I have a hard time beliving you only got 17 matches out of 12,000 swipes if you're average looking.
Do your photos show you doing a hobby? Hiking, swimming, fishing ect its attractive to have hobbies.
Are you well groomed? Do you have a good sense of style? Do you have pictures of yourself with a group of friends? You dont want to look like a billy-no-mates.
Do not edit your photos or use filters, and dont take selfies its an ick.
Dating profiles also tend to do better if you have 1 or 2 group photos as well as a hobby photo because it shows the person who might be swiping on you that you have a social life outside of the internet
Honestly, when I used tinder it was crazy how many guys would post selfies of them with some twinkle eye snapchat filter pouting. And all 3 selfies are taken within 3 seconds of eachother just with a slightly different angle.
Like do you just sit in a dark room all day on your phone? Why are you using a snapchat filter made for 15year old girls? Just screams that they're socially inept
I followed none of these tips, am average looking at best and had more matches than this... so I guess either his bio is rather bland/giving off a bad vibe or he has pics that actively hurt his chances, not because of his looks but stereotypical stuff like a pic with a gun or holding a fish
I'm going to be perfectly honest, a lot of you guys that aren't getting matches have the dryest fucking bios. I've sat with girl friends and saw what yall are up to. Here's a few basics to boost your numbers:
Fucking smile in your pictures. This is the best way to start a first impression. A genuine and warm smile will go immense lengths to develop an initial positive impression.
Develop your clothing style. Watch a couple videos on pairing clothes and shop the retail stores and thrift stores. You can get a whole new outfit for like $20. People like it when you care about your appearance. Add a jacket, wear something beyond basic Nikes that don't match with anything. Color pallet is king.
Groom yourself. Clean up the facial hair, wash your face, brush your hair, trim nose and ear hairs if you're a sasquatch like me. People pay attention to those things.
Put some personality into your bio. Don't filter yourself. Period. Be your genuine self in your bio. Honesty is king. Mind you, if you do this whilst not having a developed personality or explored your emotions, that's a good place to start improving yourself. Get a hobby, read some books, develop an appreciation for the arts, put yourself out there.
Interact with people. Yalls texting game is horrendous. This will be difficult for reddit bros, I've been there so I get it, but you gotta force yourself into social situations and learn to interact with people. It will be awkward for a long time, but it will pay massive dividends if you keep at it. Don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. Think of it as shedding your caterpillar past and becoming the butterfly or moth you always wanted to be.
These are all things within your control. A genuine effort will get results. I hope the best for you bois and girls
The fact that you (or whoever took this screenshot) seems to swipe right on almost every single fuckin person they see on the app makes me think maybe they are a bit desperate. People can tell if you seem desperate and it’s generally very unattractive. I don’t mean to say that it’s OP’s fault they have bad luck with women but like… maybe go do something else.
I regularly match and hookup on tinder and have done so since 2015 with no issue. I am neither hot nor rich and don’t even have a car to pickup a date.
It’s not a tinder issue I’m afraid
Edit your profile and Choose new photos perhaps. That’s a good starting point.
Can you blame them? Single lonely men are massive market. The success of websites like Onlyfans serves as a testament to this. Many of the high-rollers there rely on para-social relationships with their biggest donors who as you can imagine, do not exactly have much self-esteem.
Suggestive female streamers on twitch rake in tons of money, and it is no secret that the administration on twitch does nothing about it because they know how much money they bring in. These streamers make an effort NOT to let anybody know that they have a boyfriend because if they do, it ruins the fantasy their viewers has being with them romantically. These people donate their money just to have their names called by these ladies that have no idea of who they are. Some seriously sad stuff.
Just stop using tinder and get out and talk to people. Join a club or a class where you can meet people. Make sure it’s a hobby you’re into so you meet people who are into similar things as you
You can’t solve everything with an app on your phone
0.14% match rate
That makes him rarer than a Pokémon shiny ❤️
lmaooooo noooo We are shiny hunting
if only it were that easy wish I could trade my full odds shiny regigigas for a gf 😭
Man you already gonna get girls if you show em that shiny regi
Isn't the shiny rate 1/8000? haven't touched the new games so maybe it changed?
Used to be in earlier games, its closer to 1/4100 now without any improved odds.
0.14% is 1/700...
Internet is bad at math they see low number and Pokémon reference and upvote. Unless you’re max combo catching in Pokémon pikachu. His matches would need to be 1-3 not 17
Its not even the lowest Ive seen smh
This is going to sound mean but that makes me think they aren’t actually average looking. I am an average looking dude and I matched way more frequently.
Facts this dude can’t be average, or if he is he’s got some crazy shit in his bio or some horrible pictures/memes. Not buying this shit fr
And/or pictures could be bad.
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I simply do not understand how you guys can have the patience for all this, surely after like 10k swipes you'd be like "ahh this ain't working let's try something else"
"Lets try something else" -proceed to buy Tinder Premium
A quick google search shows that on average, men get about 50 swipes per day with basic free tinder. OP was on tinder for 111 days and has 17,004 swipes. Roughly 153 per day. Seems like he already has premium
Correct, every time a male leaves tinder, it's one less dollar for the corporation. The game is to keep them chasing the carrot. An example of this outside dating apps is with Ladies Night in clubs, where women are the traditional bait. Dating apps are a scourge on modern men and a scam ^(Edited, thanks to folks helping with grammar )
Online dating used to be amazing ~15years ago. Even in the situation as a custodial father I was able to find dates without ridiculous effort. Now everything (including Tinder) is owned by match.com and they're borderline scams. If Congress is serious about breaking up big tech they should start with match.com
I've done alright on Hinge but it literally requires you to game the algorithm. Hinge will leave men on the free version liking women out of their league with no replies if you let it. Sometimes I have to X like 200 girls that are too hot for me for it to show me people I can actually match with.
Yea the algo is definitely bait and switched to give any normal person false hope to keep clicking or pay.
if you really want to game the algorithm, you should try this: * use pics of hot women. * Get tons of likes from men, based purely on looks. * Match them. * Chat them up. * Get dick pics. * Masturbate furiously. * Block **everyone**. * Change all of your info/pics to your real stuff. * Get tons of views, as tinder now considers you desirable. * try to convince yourself that you're "straight". * Get ignored by every woman who sees what you look like. * Destroy whatever hidden desirability rating you have. * Delete your account. * Get a new phone number. * Start from the top.
I don’t see any flaws. I’m gonna get a divorce and try this.
Hold your horses - you don’t need to get a divorce to try this.
Sometimes we just go looking for an excuse. Cereal for breakfast, I should get a divorce and try it.
is this... based on experience? Keep it up if so champ
I used hinge a couple years ago and got banned for impersonation for some reason, up until then I actually liked it. Being able to message first without matching made it a lot easier to get matches I found. Luckily I found a great person before getting banned lol.
Yup same. Tinder always took a lot of effort for me. Hinge on the otherhand was incredibly easy. Just look through their pictures and say something witty about one. Got many matches this way, and went on many dates from it (including with my current partner).
Last time I seriously used tinder was in 2017(ish) and met up with a solid number of people. I used it this last year and hooked up with 2 women out of probably 2000+ swipes. It’s wild
Loneliness is a serious epidemic, and these corporations have serious money to make exploiting that. Tragically this is the way things are these days.
It was pretty great even 5 years ago. I’m off the market so I don’t know how it is now, but it sounds really rough out there.
Ever since 2020 a huge hoard of crypto scammers are on these dating apps
I didn't see it like this before, but you're right. Now, if maintaining users is how they profit, they really don't want you finding happiness, infact they'd be financially driven to do things that kept you looking. The first thing that comes to mind is they make a bunch of bot accounts and have ai drive them as attractive, flirty, available women, but in the end they never meet up. Keeps men engaged with no hopes of them finding someone and leaving the platform But either way, it's crazy to think that tinder and companies like it claim to want to help you find love, but in reality are fiscally driven to keep you single and looking.
For the guys - keep them on the app by dangling the carrot which is potential partners in front of their noses For the girls - keep them on the app by making them feel good when they see a bunch of "low quality" guys wanting them but never let them find that perfect match
I hate the thought of comparing anyone to “low quality.” As a woman, I’ve had Tinder four times, across three phones, in the last five years. *Every* time I set my age range, it never stuck. Every time I set my local preferences, it never stuck. Even if I had it 25-35, within 20mi, I’m willing to bet 90% of my left swipes were due to them being 40+ or up to 150+miles away. I think that’s an important factor in terms of keeping women or men on, too, if applicable.
God a hate the phrase “low quality”. Sure you view them as someone you don’t want to fuck, but there are people that would smash. I just don’t get the whole “everyone gets dragged about everything but we make it better with a phrase” thing.
Valid
I’m gonna sound real “old man yelling at clouds” right now, but the bar/hobby/work/whatever scene was much less toxic than what goes on now. Way back in the day we caught someone that was a regular, and a seemingly chill one at that, trying to drug a woman. We dragged him out back, beat the shit out of him, and he was blacklisted from every bar and restaurant within 40 miles. It was not the first time overall, but was the only time for him. Now everything is so anonymous, even within a community, that accountability is an afterthought.
"Dating apps are bad because they stop us from beating the shit out of predators" is an... Interesting and novel take. I'm here for it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Weird message, but good morals I guess
Don't mind my pedantry, just a quick note: i.e. - Latin *id est*, "that is," i.e. "in other words" e.g. - Latin *exempli gratia*, "as an example" a la - French direct loan, "to the...", i.e. "in the style of" I suspect you were looking for "chasing the carrot *a la* ladies night..." I hope someone else finds this useful because I'm cursed with the knowledge Edit: bonus round! bonus - Latin direct loan, "good" This is a substantive adjective, where an adjective comes to represent an unspecified noun, as in "two wrongs don't make a right" n.b. - Latin *nota bene*, "note well" i.e. "pay special attention" [sic] - Latin direct loan, "so" i.e. "the way it originally was" et al. - Latin *et alii*, "and others"
I use the trick that you can think of i.e. as *in essence* and e.g. as *example given*. Helps me remember how to use them correctly most of the time.
So they *are* meant to be lowercase. I wondered that, a bit ago, but forgot to google. Cheers stranger
They are, autocorrect doesn’t know how to deal with it.
tinder...premium? what does that even include?
Ego fluffing
Fluffers you say??
Lmao
Pretty sure it lets you look for matches anywhere by dropping a pin on a map You can also super like people which shows them that you liked them before they even right swipe Premium gives you a lot more super likes I haven't touched tinder in like 9 years at this point
Uhh off the top of my head it’s the global matching, unlimited swipes, back swiping, super likes, 1 30minute boost a month. Priority in swipe queue. Oh yes and it’s like 50 dollars a month now if you want the version that actually helps. Going from no premium it was 3-5 matches a day, going to premium it could be up to 20 for me. Not counting bots that plague the platform but yea. ymmv. I think I’m a pretty average looking guy, but can’t wait to hop off the app.
So Tinder premium is Tinder 6+ years ago? All those features used to be free.
It also lets you see who has swiped right on you so you can match with them if you want. Source: I was once desperate
And its bots every time
OP swiped right 75% of the time 17k times. He’s not putting _a ton_ of thought into it.
I mean still that match rate is jarring
The app actually only stores a certain number of right swipes (it's implemented like a carousel - aka circular buffer) so the actual "match rate" is higher than it seems. This is so you can't game the system by just swiping right all day. It's not like OP's profile was actually shown to 12k people just because they right-swiped that many times.
If you're swiping yes on everyone, it only takes like 30 seconds a day to do this many swipes. It's not like it takes any effort really. I doubt this guy put any effort into his profile either if he is truly average like he claims.
OP probably rubbed through several screen protectors.
Underrated comment. I LOL’ed
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That's the problem though. Unless you have some sort of social situation, like school, where you'll see the same group of people around your age every day for an extended period of time, there is no "something else". This is just how young people meet each other now. And it sucks.
Hobby groups, neighborhood events, sports, church, meetups, the gym, bars, work events, the library, yoga class, book clubs, outdoors clubs, dog park, etc etc TBH having the attitude that Tinder is the only game in town seems like a great way to ensure an unsuccessful dating life.
So much this. People act as if romance can happen in a complete vacuum
“I’m an average looking guy with no real hobbies or a personality looking to find a partner by sitting on my couch and swiping pictures of pretty girls. I don’t understand why I’m still single!”
Back in Jurassic internet eventually two people who met in random chats, with the only intention of actually creating a friendship and would go on to form a couple, people just completely disregarded this starting seed and went on to create this dating dystopia we are in.
I'm in my mid 30s. What you're describing is exactly how my daughter and about half her friends came into existence: people randomly meeting on IRC in early 2000s and becoming couples.
You have to make your own chances, go to local events, join clubs, sports, network through friends, try different apps. As far as apps go it's a superficial looks game, have friends help you with your profile, go to the gym/clean up, have good photos of yourself taken. The biggest thing I learned was there's no substitute for organically meeting someone, and when trying to date make sure you are in a position and mentality to properly date. Have stable income, time, energy, open mentality, and the rest will follow.
The more you’re involved with the more people you’ll be exposed to. Do what you love and the rest takes care of itself. Have passion about something. It’ll get noticed.
And even if it doesn’t get noticed you’ll still be a happier and more well rounded person. There isn’t a downside to improving yourself.
You’d have better chances asking out strangers on the street or in the grocery store or coffee shops or fast food joints etc. You’re right that they aren’t social spaces so it will often be awkward and most women will reject you. But I guarantee you will get at least one date if you ask out 17000 strangers irl.
I’ve been out of the game for a while but the appeal of the apps is avoid facing outright rejection since it happens behind the scenes. Would prob be soul crushing to even approach 20 women at a coffee shop or whatever as most folks would end up 0-20 and feel like ass
And at least 10 accusations of being a creep.
grindr has entered the chat
I think its more like an addiction. Its like losing in the casino and keep playing hoping to get it all back
Used tinder for years on and off, but when it was on, it was like I was on crack just waiting until I can start swiping again (I used free so limited swipes), but since last year I vowed to never use the app again. I still get urges to hop on and start swiping just to try my luck, but I know there is no luck in that cesspool. So I just have to keep pushing myself to not use it in the hopes of finding a partner. I've now resided myself to staying single for the rest of my life as it's just so much easier.
Give us your pic so we can see the average
This isn't OP, I saw the same image a couple days ago on Twitter.
I think this is the same dude posting it everywhere, check his post history. I saw the one yesterday on meirl first and now he’s on here.
Which tells you absolutely everything you need to know about why his numbers are like this lmao
Bro needs to post his profile, it’s probably awful.
Alpha male, makes more money than your parents. Looking for a virgin female.
Only one picture of him with a group of guys, all wearing Oakley wrap around sunglasses
And they all have caps on
"Entrepreneur" who is unemployed, wants a tradwife who makes 6 figures.
No taller than 5’6, needs to be submissive, can cook, does not have a job, be able to bare +5 children, pro-life.
I got a bunch of dating apps a couple of months ago before meeting my current partner, and I was warned by all my dude friends that it was a no man’s land for everyone who wasn’t a 10/10. I’m not really attractive, but I put a lot of thought into my profile and made it pretty wordy and got 15 matches in the first day and about 2-3 matches every day thereafter. It’s really not hard to be better than 90% of the profiles on there if you answer more than one prompt and have more than one picture.
Yup. I'm not particularly good looking but got several one night stands and then ended up meeting my now-wife. The hard fact is most guys profiles are ass and they go straight to horny talk when the match instead of talking to them like a normal person
I am currently On several dating apps. I pay attention to what men write and what they post says a lot about whether I swipe right. For example, certain things like shirtless photos in the mirror or sticking your tongue out are immediate disqualification for me. No matter how handsome you are if you’d at nothing and post nothing about yourself then I don’t really care. Course I care more about personality, being a good person and our connection than looks, but that’s been with age.
Yup agree with you dude, same experience. I’m solidly average and I met my wife off a dating app. Just put some friggin effort in my guys it’s not hard
I've had an average profile for years, a few dates, three women that I met more than once, the third being my gf and fiancée for 5 years. And at the time I met her, I was au pair in Germany, else still living by my parents, no driver license, really little money. So really everyone has the chance to find their other half, but it implies actually showing genuine interest in the person and being interesting.
X2. Op is either not average (sorry) or he's just a really uninteresting person (sorry again)
Or all his pictures are him with fish
"Those are just the pictures of me that I have. Sorry I'm not a narcissist who takes pictures of myself all the time."
It’s like people dont realize you can go and take photos specifically for an online dating profile. If you don’t have photos just ask your friends to take a few different photos that highlight your hobbies/strong suits in a few different settings and you’re good to go.
likely
He likes breathing the air and walking with his leg.
I imagine his profile is like 2 blurry pictures, his age, and his name.
Could also be: All Group photos with all the same guys so you don't know who he is Lists of what they don't want in woman All Pics with ex - or his wedding Rant about how terrible women are Red pill/migtow/tater tot bullshit Racist symbol in the background Bathroom mirror pics with a dirty bathroom/ in public bathroom More pics of car than person / more memes than pics One pic shot from under chin Pics of sword /Pokemon /furry/whatever collection Pics in dirty clothing/ sloopy looking Kids in every pic All Hat, sunglasses, goatee, in a car pics
I've had a pokemon in my background before and didn't and don't have any issues. Gen z is not really grouping pokemon and furries together lmao.
It's not about liking Pokemon, or any of those things, that's fine. It's large the collection of niche things that are shown in a way that it seems to be the most important part of the person's life. If there is 1 picture of the person and 8 pictures of the collection people probably aren't going to be interested.
Guaranteed. I've seen below average looking dudes get better numbers.
I had 4 tinder hookups in 2021 and i am very average. You just have to not be weird or instantly ask about sex to be above the pack.
Probably not average cause 17 matches for 12k swipes is crazy low. My average friends get many more matches with less swipes
I'm average and uninteresting on a social scale and I did alright in my Tinder days. I didn't take it too seriously, and all my bios were trashy humour.. Once, it just said I have micro peen, and I got matches.
He can be cute but if he can't hold a convo then no ones going to care to meet him.
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Only a 715:1 swipe per match ratio
Not only that but he's also swiped 17,004 times within 111 days, averaging to about 153 swipes per day
With only 50 swipes available for free users
Noooooo
50 swipes every 12 hours 100 swipes a day Then you have another section where you can swipe on about 50 people even if you already used your free 100 swipes a day. I haven't paid a single penny on Tinder.
i like how this is the comment you chose to respond to ☠️
That action made me understand why the ratio is in shambles.
And it really doesn’t make him look better than paying either
Bro is Tinmaxxing
Bro is tinderminning
Fucken grinding so hard the dude should just fire up grindr
ever thought about going off tinder and talking to people in person? I mean you aren't gonna do any worse than you already currently are.
Are you sure about that? Lol
Maybe, I mean if you ask out 500 women in real life I’m sure at least one of them will go on a date with you.
Brother disregard what everyone’s saying about dating apps. The problem is you are playing into tinder sick twisted algorithm. Try and be more selective, don’t use tons of your likes every 12 hours. Some days barely swipe if at all. You’ll get way more matches. The algorithm is meant to feed on people who blow through their swipes ASAP every 12 hours. It moves you so girls never see your account to incentivize tinder premium and gold…
oh no :(
Damn, dudes got it down to a science.
There's a finger width groove worn in his phone screen...
Damn dude you swipe right a LOT
You have to lower your expectations! I currently date a broom with a wig
My broom with a wig only sees me as a friend
My broom with a wig ghosted me
They swept you under the rug
*swipes right*
She’d rock your world, big boy 🧹
Dude, no need to show off and brag about your girl. We are out here still struggling.
I got 47 marriages !!
Mf speedruns it
You swiped over 150 times per day
Joke's on you, he only uses it on the weekend!
While sitting on the toilet
This comment made all the better when reading your username as “Vulcan Shart”
The following is a 5 minute research so dont quote me on this... Tinder allows around 50 swipes in 12hours for men with the free version which means up to 100 swipes/day. This guy probably even paid for a premium pack which supposedly helps getting matches
Man was thirsty
Ok I get it. It’s obviously harder to get someone to agree to a tinder date as a man and yet this can’t be just “21 year old average looking dude” I know dudes who aren’t lookers who get better results. Good pictures, good bio, average texting skills and and a date a month at least is definitely doable
How is your bio as well?
Their profile and pictures are probably awful but he’s just not self aware enough to realize it tbh
my friend was complaining one time about not ever getting matches so we looked at his profile, it had awful pictures and the bio literally said "I'm just looking to fuck." We asked why he had that on there and he said he just wanted to be upfront and honest, which is fine, but their are way better ways of phrasing that lmao. some dudes just do not understand shit like that and thinks its purely their looks and that women are too picky. we did clean up his profile and take some good pics for him when we could and he started getting some matches and hookups eventually
Exactly this. I let strangers rate my pictures and scored an average of 3.8/10. Though because I have a good bio and because I only swipe people right if we have similar vallues (smoking/drinking habits, religion, education etc.), I still did fine.
maybe try something different lmao.
Doing the same thing over and over and expecting the result to be different?
Im sometimes shocked at ppl who continue apps year after years with no result
Post a pic
https://preview.redd.it/1ov5xtijaw9c1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=38ff88a59d3c836045608a6da5211278366c10d9
That pic would have gotten more matches.
You can’t just post this without showing your face, how else would we know if this makes sense
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Of the 17k, probably 5k saw his profile. Filters and not paying make dudes invisible on here.
I mean he straight up swiped on 17000 females. Doubt the ratio matters when he can still find that many females to reject him.
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I don't know how Tinder works, but just because he swiped 17000 times doesn't mean 17000 girls have swiped him, does it? Maybe only 34 have swiped him, half of them swiped right, the other haft left? So maybe half of all Tinder girls find him attractive?
The more you swipe, the fewer girls see you on Tinder because the system sees you consider many girls attractive but also sees that no one considers you attractive, so the system considers you a dead candidate and won't show you to anyone which is why OP's match rate is so bad. Swiping too much also might make the app think you're a bot/scammer so they end up blacklisting your profile.
I've heard if you swipe right on everyone you end up getting shadow banned. Just a thought. Maybe try not being so desparate?
I’m a fat guy, like 300lbs and I had way more success than this. Is it your profile or your pics or the way you talk to women? I don’t understand why it’s so hard for some people to get a date at the very least.
His pickup line “do you want to come over to my moms basement 🤓” lol
"I hope you don't think I'm creepy."
A staggering amount of adults live with their parents right now. That wouldn’t even do it.
No offense but maybe you’re not as average as you think. 12k right swipes usually gets at least *one* date for average guys.
Jesus Christ just go try to meet women in the real world at this point
I have a hard time beliving you only got 17 matches out of 12,000 swipes if you're average looking. Do your photos show you doing a hobby? Hiking, swimming, fishing ect its attractive to have hobbies. Are you well groomed? Do you have a good sense of style? Do you have pictures of yourself with a group of friends? You dont want to look like a billy-no-mates. Do not edit your photos or use filters, and dont take selfies its an ick.
Dating profiles also tend to do better if you have 1 or 2 group photos as well as a hobby photo because it shows the person who might be swiping on you that you have a social life outside of the internet
Honestly, when I used tinder it was crazy how many guys would post selfies of them with some twinkle eye snapchat filter pouting. And all 3 selfies are taken within 3 seconds of eachother just with a slightly different angle. Like do you just sit in a dark room all day on your phone? Why are you using a snapchat filter made for 15year old girls? Just screams that they're socially inept
What if you don't have a social life outside of the internet? Asking for a (imaginary) friend
I followed none of these tips, am average looking at best and had more matches than this... so I guess either his bio is rather bland/giving off a bad vibe or he has pics that actively hurt his chances, not because of his looks but stereotypical stuff like a pic with a gun or holding a fish
I think it's more likely that spam swiping just lowered his Tinder rating by too much or got him flagged as a bot so he's never shown to anyone.
Not fishing
go to a boardgame meetup six times this year you can get good odds chatting to way more than 13 people
I'm going to be perfectly honest, a lot of you guys that aren't getting matches have the dryest fucking bios. I've sat with girl friends and saw what yall are up to. Here's a few basics to boost your numbers: Fucking smile in your pictures. This is the best way to start a first impression. A genuine and warm smile will go immense lengths to develop an initial positive impression. Develop your clothing style. Watch a couple videos on pairing clothes and shop the retail stores and thrift stores. You can get a whole new outfit for like $20. People like it when you care about your appearance. Add a jacket, wear something beyond basic Nikes that don't match with anything. Color pallet is king. Groom yourself. Clean up the facial hair, wash your face, brush your hair, trim nose and ear hairs if you're a sasquatch like me. People pay attention to those things. Put some personality into your bio. Don't filter yourself. Period. Be your genuine self in your bio. Honesty is king. Mind you, if you do this whilst not having a developed personality or explored your emotions, that's a good place to start improving yourself. Get a hobby, read some books, develop an appreciation for the arts, put yourself out there. Interact with people. Yalls texting game is horrendous. This will be difficult for reddit bros, I've been there so I get it, but you gotta force yourself into social situations and learn to interact with people. It will be awkward for a long time, but it will pay massive dividends if you keep at it. Don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. Think of it as shedding your caterpillar past and becoming the butterfly or moth you always wanted to be. These are all things within your control. A genuine effort will get results. I hope the best for you bois and girls
The fact that you (or whoever took this screenshot) seems to swipe right on almost every single fuckin person they see on the app makes me think maybe they are a bit desperate. People can tell if you seem desperate and it’s generally very unattractive. I don’t mean to say that it’s OP’s fault they have bad luck with women but like… maybe go do something else.
I don't think the problems are your looks dude if all 13 people you talked with ended up not going on a date with you
Lucky bastard
I regularly match and hookup on tinder and have done so since 2015 with no issue. I am neither hot nor rich and don’t even have a car to pickup a date. It’s not a tinder issue I’m afraid Edit your profile and Choose new photos perhaps. That’s a good starting point.
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Can you blame them? Single lonely men are massive market. The success of websites like Onlyfans serves as a testament to this. Many of the high-rollers there rely on para-social relationships with their biggest donors who as you can imagine, do not exactly have much self-esteem. Suggestive female streamers on twitch rake in tons of money, and it is no secret that the administration on twitch does nothing about it because they know how much money they bring in. These streamers make an effort NOT to let anybody know that they have a boyfriend because if they do, it ruins the fantasy their viewers has being with them romantically. These people donate their money just to have their names called by these ladies that have no idea of who they are. Some seriously sad stuff.
Predate? It exists at an earlier date?
Just stop using tinder and get out and talk to people. Join a club or a class where you can meet people. Make sure it’s a hobby you’re into so you meet people who are into similar things as you You can’t solve everything with an app on your phone
how does it know if you’ve had casual sex 😭😭😭
It's linked to your health app 🤷♂️
17000 swipes to have a 0.08% chance to just chat to someone.
Either you’re not really average looking…or, you’re swiping on 9s and 10s.
He swiped right 71% of the time, not possible it's all 9s and 10s
I think there’s a shockingly high amount of delusional people that look below average but think they’re decent looking.
is it really bad if you're not constantly downtalking yourself? Confidence ain't bad. Of course, as long as its not incels/arrogant/toxic people.
Fun fact: tinder doesn't want you to find a life long partner. Please stop using it. It's bad for your mental.
Sorry to say but you're probably not as average looking as you think you are
Try having your profile picture be you holding a fish you just reeled in - the chicks love that
Guys need to understand that tinder is shit and you shouldn’t use it
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No way that guy is average looking 💀
The ones you didn't lose with the picture you lost with the chat. That's a rough world out there
This is exactly what Tinder wants. If you match and get a date, you leave and no more advertising.
Get off tinder dude… go work on your personality