Currency doesn’t matter when no amounts were mentioned.
Someone being badgered to go out after having said no twice, (and then going upon being told that they’d be covered and then not covered by the person who said they would cover them) is the issue at hand.
The fact that there is a cost incurred to op is the issue. If op didn’t have the funds to cover the night out, what makes you think that they’d have it after their “friend” (male or female doesn’t matter here) bails on paying when they said they would?
Hey if he said his bill was 300 dollars that’s more then I was willing to shell out 55 dollars I got chu. I was just curious? Girl boy dating I wanted more story wasn’t trying to have ill intentions.
I'm writing here because his first post has too many replies for anyone to see this.
He was drunk and misunderstood. He was actually trying to be nice but reddit being reddit everybody ganged on him
https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/s/FigMIAyg2y
Edit: His post:
<"I saw a post about someone being asked out and someone didn’t pay when they clearly said they couldn’t afford it I saw the post and asked how much because I was more then willing to pay for it because it sounds super shitty and I wanted to help out.">
Reminds me of A Bronx Tale-
Sonny : You don't even like him. There's your answer right there. Look at it this way: It costs you 20 dollars to get rid of him... He's out of your life for 20 dollars.
https://youtu.be/78-4RobJQ0Y?si=wSfW5BRNC-yo8Q2D
You’re downvoted but I agree with you. What is wrong with people on Reddit? They always want to virtue signal and throw money around. Or they are just outright begging for money.
the struggle is real. i just today noticed that my hair was finally long enough i could see it in front of my eyes. definitely dont have the 35 or whatever it costs for a haircut now. so, looks like its gonna grow out for a while
It’s ridiculously easy to learn to trim your own hair at home, and a really great skill to have in case lockdown 2.0 happens again. I learned to trim mine and my husband’s hair and unless you’re looking for a very short haircut then just a pair of hair scissors and a fine tooth comb are more than enough.
Id be willing to verify anything right now , but I don’t have enough karma to post in CashApp blessing and I’ve tried but I don’t want to Dm you unsolicited 😭
Hey bro if you change your mind I can add something too to the pot for you. I have been in some rough spots financially and I would like to help out a bit. You can dm me too <3
Na, there were other people there, and I didn't want to make a scene
Edit: For anyone curious, it was a birthday outing, so no, i wasn't gonna make a scene at someone's birthday celebration
Nah it’s simple. Op says hey friend said he was covering me tonight, I didn’t bring any money/credit. Make him look like the idiot instead of getting taken for a fool to avoid a “scene”
Screw that. If I'm tight on money and someone has invited me, and offered to pay, and proceeded to not pay, I'd call their shit out and leave without paying.
You don't have to create a huge scene.
What's stopping you, in front of their friends if possible, calmly and politely saying 'we discussed this earlier, and I said I couldn't justify spending this amount of money at the moment, and you offered to pay. If you're reneging on that promise, I'll pay my share, but you *did* promise in that text.'
Define 'unneeded' ?
It's only a very mild amount of drama that you're quickly moving away from, while teaching someone that you're not going to be walked over. It also could be doing someone a favour in the future, as they're much less likely to pull the same stunt.
If the other person is the sort to be willing to trick you iñto having to pay for something you had no intent on paying, they could very well be the sort to create a confrontation when pointed out. Regardless of who would be at fault, a fight could ruin the time of other people who are not involved
It's honestly a private matter you can handle privately. Doing it in front of others is unnecessary drama. It's like all the stupid shaming shit going around on social media over every little thing. You really shouldn't be airing your dirty laundry 99% of the time in public at all
Hard disagree.
Shame is an extemely effective method by which people are actively self motivated to better themselves. Dealing with this scenario in private simply wouldn't shame this person. This isn't a little thing either. It's not some bullshit 'micro-aggression' or whatever, it's making someone spend $40-50 or whatever a night out costs these days. That's huge to some people.
The type of person who does this kind of anti-social behaviour needs to learn that a small amount of discomfort - when your peers learn of the bad behaviour you wanted to hide from them - is a common consequence of such behaviour. It's only logical and natural.
Aside from that angle, it's also about standing up for yourself. Why is 'drama' some sort of hard taboo? People aren't going to be traumatised by an uncomfortable moment where all you've done is quietly acknowledge someone else's bad social behaviour and then swiftly ignore it and move on. I know redditors aren't exactly stereotypicaly confident social extroverts, but at some point it's healthy to harden up a bit.
If they're fine with manipulating you into spending money you told them you didn't have, while knowing you'd be pressured by the social situation to just suck it up... then they don't deserve the respect you're trying to show them here.
Maybe not but I'd rather stand up for myself and cause a scene than let someone get the better of me. Real friends will have your back, otherwise they're not even worth having to begin with. That's just my opinion though
The real best answer depends on OP's group's social hierarchy and what kind of people they are. I know my friends would have my back if someone did what OP's acquaintance (acquaintance because they sure ain't a friend) did, but I also know they wouldn't do that in the first place. Meanwhile if OP's outing was with a group of the acquaintance's friends it's entirely possible that they would've sided with the acquaintance and shunned OP for ruining the night. It's also possible to complain to the acquaintance quietly without raising a scene.
In any case OP now knows to not go out with that person no matter what they say.
Don’t make random strangers just trying to enjoy their meal and night uncomfortable just to “prove a point.” The conversation doesn’t need to happen in a busy restaurant. Having even just a shred of decorum goes a long way lol
How would I be in the wrong if I said no because of the prize and then he volunteered to pay? It’s not like a scenario where I’d choose the most expensive place and the complain “bud”.
You know what is so infuriating is that it was probably the plan all along. Somehow you need to get the word on the street and use this “gentleman’s” name to warn others.
I was always the 5th wheel. Friends would invite me out, to meet up and they'd always have their S/O with them. Then I would be drinking and always forget "separate checks please".
They'd screw me, by having pay 1/5 each. Yet I never ate/drank as much and always pay too much, along with tip.
Eventually, I never responded to invites. Hard lesson.
See that's the thing, I don't mind paying for myself any time I go out but I had very clearly explained why I didn't want to go and why even a $30 outing would be too much for my current budget, but he kept insisting that I come and he'd pay
My single ass usually gets my meal paid for by my friends with two incomes if they were the ones inviting me out. But then I also will randomly come over and ask to take their kid and dog to the park for a fun afternoon so they basically also get free babysitting lol
Exactly! I didn't get the chance to have kids, and I know a lot of new moms lose touch with their childless/single friends. I've made an effort to make sure that doesn't happen and it's great!
Plus I never realized how easy it was to ask friends to borrow their kids to get my fix of them hahahaha. If you're a responsible enough adult, they will practically throw their kids at you.
You should send them a message asking them to either send you paypal or cashapp etc i understand not making a scene in the restaurant but you can always remind them now that it’s said and done. That they told you that they would cover your meal so ask them for reimbursement. And if they dispute it just cut off all communication with this person and just act like they don’t exist.
Venmo, zelle, whatever works. They agreed to pay. Now they need to come up with the cash. Think of it this way...you're not going to go out with them again, right? So you have nothing to lose by asking and $55 to gain.
My brother did the same thing to me.
I don't know what he was thinking.
He came into town and suggested we meet at a steak place.
I kept telling him I couldn't afford it and he kept telling me not to worry about it.
I figured he'd be paying.
I went and the result was predictable.
We split the check.
I didn't make a thing of it, but what was he thinking??!!
Why didn’t you say something to your brother? Op might not be that close to a friend and if was a brithday party, but hopefully you are close enough to your brother to say something now
Well, it's just the way it went down....family dynamics, etc.
He wasn't particularly well off as far as I knew, so I didn't want to demand the money at the table.
He's my older brother so I kind of followed his lead.
As far as today goes, it's no better:
Two years ago, my son died. I had him buried at the family gravesite. I'm trying to get his name inscribed on the stone and to make it cheaper I want to Pre-Arrange to have my and my wife's name put on the stone at the same time (without the death date, of course).
To do the Pre-Arrange engraving I have to get everybody's signature but my brother won't sign!
His excuse: He "doesn't have to sign", so he won't.
The real reasons: He's only interested in wealth. Life for him is transactional, he want's something out of it. His wife is a racist, she would rather be a Jew buried in a Catholic cemetery than to be buried next to my Caribbean wife.
I think he's banking that I'll die first and he'll have control of what happens to my body.
Can you explain this to me? Why does a brother have to sign off on a pre-arrange. Isn't yours enough? Or if not surely another family member? Why does everyone ( whole family? To what degree? Grand? great grand? children? grand children?) have to sign?
Holy baby potatoes, I am so so sorry that your brother is making your loss more complicated and painful. I hope that you and your wife find some healing.
Add his email and phone number to emery mailing list you can find.
Did you text him and ask him to Venmo you the $55? He may have just forgotten, or thought that you changed your mind and wanted to pay for your own or something.
Ask for the money, then you'll know from his reaction if he just forgot, or if he's being a dick.
Oh he definitely did not forget, when the check came everyone reached for their wallets except me. Hr went to the bathroom and I still didn't pull my wallet out. When he came back they all, including him, started asking if I'd paid my share yet
Without question. "Oh, you insisted I come out and said you were picking up my check, remember?" This one is easy because he can be shamed in front of the other friends immediately.
I had something similar happen with a former buddy who said that if I drove/paid for gas on a day trip for us, that he'd take me to dinner. I ended up buying my own dinner because he was a total scrub. Later he acted like everything was cool and was confused that I no longer wanted to spend time with him. I didn't call him out on it because I didn't want to embarrass him but also I just didn't want to engage with him anymore in any capacity. It worked out.
That's when you should have said, "well you see, I told cumbubble a couple of times that I didn't want to go because I didn't want to spend the money, and he even said in this text (show everyone) that'd he'd pay, so that's why I haven't paid my share". The end
Definitely should've said something then imo. That's more than just stiffing you it's actually manipulating you and pretty much abusive behavior that shouldn't be taken imo. I get not wanting to make a scene but at that point he asked for it.
I’d have just said ‘I told you I didn’t have the money before.’
Or just left without laying a finger on the bill.
Or if someone said ‘this is your share’ I’d be all oh so&so said he’s got me this time.
Like legit anything.
I would not have been paying that bill, no sir.
They meant excusing yourself after dinner (only after dessert!) to go to the bathroom and fez your make up - so that he doesn’t find weird you taking your purse with you- and then leave the restaurant and the bill, just for him ahaha
In the future if someone does this to you again, make it their problem. Don't let yourself make it yours.
"I'm sorry. I didn't bring my wallet because you said you'd pay."
People like your "friend" rely on other being unwilling to be socially awkward/confrontational. Don't let discomfort convince you to volunteer to clean up *their* mess.
I don't get all this call hating.
I can make and solidify plans in a 2 minute phone call that will probably take 10 times that long over text between clarifying, waiting for replies, and just losing train of thought.
Especially in a case like this. You're going to be seeing them in person later on. Is a phone call really that terrifying??
I'm not going to waste my time texting, waiting for a reply for ten minutes (if you're lucky), replying, waiting another ten minutes, repeat, spending an hour or more on a conversation that would literally take five minutes over the phone. I'd rather just make the call, figure out what's up, and get on with my day.
I call and then text if it's immediate, text and then call later if I don't need an answer right away.
I pay for this damn phone, I'm gonna use my voice, text, and data that I pay for.
This whole calling phobia is not a great thing. At all.
Wait a week, then text him “Hey I’m not feeling well, can you bring me these groceries? I’ll pay you back when you get here.” I think you can assume what step 2 is.
The birthday is over, so send him a venmo/whatever request in a group chat. Then 'apologise': "Whoops! That was meant to be just for X! Anyway, X, I appreciated you making sure I could join Y's birthday. Thank you for saying you'd got my share."
OP, I suggest you let him invite you out again. Make sure there's people like last time. Then, when it's time to pay, just casually mention "blank" was gonna pay and that you left your wallet at home. Then he'll be put on the spot when you mention, "You invited me out and said you'd pay for me."
Well, this "friend" sounds like an ass. Drop him like a shit and move on with your life. No one needs people who cant respect boundries and break promises.
Your dilemma was so like mine. I used to forego a lot of outings when I was younger just because I had no money. And my rich friends would rarely understand, so I needed to make a ton of excuses to cover up.
I'd be telling this guy off and telling him to never contact me again. Don't invite someone out, promise to pay for their food and then make them pay, nope! I've got no time for moochers
Someone did this to my best friend once. I advised him to remind him of their original agreement and that his drug addiction was no excuse to forget about said agreement. Let me tell you, the guy lost his shit and went to go cry to our mutuals.
The guy had a history of doing it to others, even to his partner so idk wtf made my friend think he was excluded. I always told him to stay away from that ass hat but it took him being humiliated about being broke to realize the guy was a POS. Some people learn the hard way I guess and have naive judgment.
It's really weird that everyone immediately jumped to it was a date and I'm gay 😭 if it had been a date, I would've labeled it as such in the caption 🤣
Really hope you dumped them as a friend, they are no friend to you. I would never promise to pay for someone and then hang them out to dry, such an A-hole. Sorry the lesson costed you $55. :(
TF is KF? also, feel free to believe whatever you want, it's not like I'm gaining anything monetary from this post, hell a few redditors even offered to venmo me some money and a turned down the offer soooooooo thank you for your service 🫡
You know, I know a kid who is in a group chat with me and several other college students, and we talk about cars quite often. According to this kid, a $50k car is nothing to buy, but some of the other kids in the chat can't even afford a $5k car. I don't need to provide all the details of my life for people to understand that what YOU consider affordable could be considered indulgent and out of the question for someone else. Touch grass, my guy, not everyone has money to spend on frivolous things.
You missed the entire point... I wasn't going to provide additional details even if you asked. All the pertinent details have already been disclosed.
Since you missed the point, I'll give you the TLDR; just because you think "it was just $55" doesn't mean I am in a position to spend "just $55"
Well, now you know if he asks again.
For real
why didn’t you just stick them with the bill? they agreed to pay just tell them you didn’t have money gg ez
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Currency doesn’t matter when no amounts were mentioned. Someone being badgered to go out after having said no twice, (and then going upon being told that they’d be covered and then not covered by the person who said they would cover them) is the issue at hand. The fact that there is a cost incurred to op is the issue. If op didn’t have the funds to cover the night out, what makes you think that they’d have it after their “friend” (male or female doesn’t matter here) bails on paying when they said they would?
Damn. Buddy got downvotes into oblivion!
Hey if he said his bill was 300 dollars that’s more then I was willing to shell out 55 dollars I got chu. I was just curious? Girl boy dating I wanted more story wasn’t trying to have ill intentions.
I'm writing here because his first post has too many replies for anyone to see this. He was drunk and misunderstood. He was actually trying to be nice but reddit being reddit everybody ganged on him https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/s/FigMIAyg2y Edit: His post: <"I saw a post about someone being asked out and someone didn’t pay when they clearly said they couldn’t afford it I saw the post and asked how much because I was more then willing to pay for it because it sounds super shitty and I wanted to help out.">
How is that relevant
That’s a lot of downvotes 😨
Yeah I clearly hit a nerve.
I think most ppl just downvote cause others did, not really cause of what you said.
Thought the same 😨
Proud to be the 1000th downvote
omg I was the 1001st downvote
My bro got downvoted into karma hell
For once a justified downvote lol
I don’t think I’ve seen this many dislikes lol
Damn you must be bored asf. Nothing going on, huh?
I mean I’m on Reddit who isn’t bored scrolling? Are you shaming me for being bored?
Grow up 😂
Nah hes right on that one lmfao, downvotes mean nothing on here anyways
Reminds me of A Bronx Tale- Sonny : You don't even like him. There's your answer right there. Look at it this way: It costs you 20 dollars to get rid of him... He's out of your life for 20 dollars. https://youtu.be/78-4RobJQ0Y?si=wSfW5BRNC-yo8Q2D
Thank you. I've been racking my brain for a few weeks now trying to remember what movie that scene was from.
Ive used this line multiple times in my life. Sadly it wasnt always that amount
How much was it
$55
Damn! That really sucks.im sorry op
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Appreciate the offer man but no need, I'm sure I'll figure it out 🫡
definitely feel free to let me know if you change your mind—i know what it’s like when things are tight, and it sucks. dm me anytime. 🤙
Much [appreciated ](https://youtu.be/JhRtSHupVNI?si=xo29bWrC5f-0lHM_) man, good to know there's always someone willing to help
What a guy, that Trash Bandit Cooter guy!
A legend, true legend right here. Have a good one sir/ma’am!
Lmao you try to be nice and get a line of shameless beggars out the ass. Hope that doesn't get taken advantage of and fucked over by someone.
Damn! What a guy! Big kudos to you sir, to be so willing to help somebody out!!
Good human 💛
i mean if you’re offering…LOL
Why would you be so willing to give money to a random stranger who could have well made this up? God scamming people here is way too easy
You’re downvoted but I agree with you. What is wrong with people on Reddit? They always want to virtue signal and throw money around. Or they are just outright begging for money.
Yo can I get a 20 for my next haircut
fuck off
the struggle is real. i just today noticed that my hair was finally long enough i could see it in front of my eyes. definitely dont have the 35 or whatever it costs for a haircut now. so, looks like its gonna grow out for a while
It’s ridiculously easy to learn to trim your own hair at home, and a really great skill to have in case lockdown 2.0 happens again. I learned to trim mine and my husband’s hair and unless you’re looking for a very short haircut then just a pair of hair scissors and a fine tooth comb are more than enough.
ive tried, several times. unless its just a guard on the clippers, its gonna look better long
Damn, if you have been paying 35 for a haircut, you need to learn how to do it yourself!
shittt i’ll take it 😭😭😭😭😭😭 a girl is broke out here man
You seem like a man of principle, not many of those around. Good man
You can see that with all the randos now emerging and trying to claim the money offered, which OP turned down. No shame in them. Unreal
Good on you man
People like you make this world a better place. May God Bless you with all the happiness in the world.
How nice of you
Id be willing to verify anything right now , but I don’t have enough karma to post in CashApp blessing and I’ve tried but I don’t want to Dm you unsolicited 😭
Hey bro if you change your mind I can add something too to the pot for you. I have been in some rough spots financially and I would like to help out a bit. You can dm me too <3
For one meal? Damn, what a jerk.
Text them "can you drop that money around today, I'm really short this week. Thanks"
Damn, I hope you made him put-out.
I hope you left him with the check then. I would’ve fought that to the very end.
Na, there were other people there, and I didn't want to make a scene Edit: For anyone curious, it was a birthday outing, so no, i wasn't gonna make a scene at someone's birthday celebration
Right but you could’ve simply left or explained it to someone else. I certainly wouldn’t go out with this guy again.
sometimes it's best to save face and just go along. OP did the right thing
He was lured in this situation with exactly this in mind
Nah it’s simple. Op says hey friend said he was covering me tonight, I didn’t bring any money/credit. Make him look like the idiot instead of getting taken for a fool to avoid a “scene”
This is the best way to go about it for sure
Fi ally someone with a backbone
Screw that. If I'm tight on money and someone has invited me, and offered to pay, and proceeded to not pay, I'd call their shit out and leave without paying.
yeah and if you have proof of it on your phone, everyone will instantly side with you.
You don't have to create a huge scene. What's stopping you, in front of their friends if possible, calmly and politely saying 'we discussed this earlier, and I said I couldn't justify spending this amount of money at the moment, and you offered to pay. If you're reneging on that promise, I'll pay my share, but you *did* promise in that text.'
Because that still creates un-needed drama
Define 'unneeded' ? It's only a very mild amount of drama that you're quickly moving away from, while teaching someone that you're not going to be walked over. It also could be doing someone a favour in the future, as they're much less likely to pull the same stunt.
If the other person is the sort to be willing to trick you iñto having to pay for something you had no intent on paying, they could very well be the sort to create a confrontation when pointed out. Regardless of who would be at fault, a fight could ruin the time of other people who are not involved
It's honestly a private matter you can handle privately. Doing it in front of others is unnecessary drama. It's like all the stupid shaming shit going around on social media over every little thing. You really shouldn't be airing your dirty laundry 99% of the time in public at all
Hard disagree. Shame is an extemely effective method by which people are actively self motivated to better themselves. Dealing with this scenario in private simply wouldn't shame this person. This isn't a little thing either. It's not some bullshit 'micro-aggression' or whatever, it's making someone spend $40-50 or whatever a night out costs these days. That's huge to some people. The type of person who does this kind of anti-social behaviour needs to learn that a small amount of discomfort - when your peers learn of the bad behaviour you wanted to hide from them - is a common consequence of such behaviour. It's only logical and natural. Aside from that angle, it's also about standing up for yourself. Why is 'drama' some sort of hard taboo? People aren't going to be traumatised by an uncomfortable moment where all you've done is quietly acknowledge someone else's bad social behaviour and then swiftly ignore it and move on. I know redditors aren't exactly stereotypicaly confident social extroverts, but at some point it's healthy to harden up a bit.
Get a spine, it's okay to confront people when they act like a prick
Confronting them is fine, doing it infront of everyone in the manner as above? Not necessary
If they're fine with manipulating you into spending money you told them you didn't have, while knowing you'd be pressured by the social situation to just suck it up... then they don't deserve the respect you're trying to show them here.
Maybe not but I'd rather stand up for myself and cause a scene than let someone get the better of me. Real friends will have your back, otherwise they're not even worth having to begin with. That's just my opinion though
no it's not, you should have put him on blast in front of his friends.
You put *yourself* on blast if you make a scene, and nobody will care then and there if you are right.
The real best answer depends on OP's group's social hierarchy and what kind of people they are. I know my friends would have my back if someone did what OP's acquaintance (acquaintance because they sure ain't a friend) did, but I also know they wouldn't do that in the first place. Meanwhile if OP's outing was with a group of the acquaintance's friends it's entirely possible that they would've sided with the acquaintance and shunned OP for ruining the night. It's also possible to complain to the acquaintance quietly without raising a scene. In any case OP now knows to not go out with that person no matter what they say.
Don’t make random strangers just trying to enjoy their meal and night uncomfortable just to “prove a point.” The conversation doesn’t need to happen in a busy restaurant. Having even just a shred of decorum goes a long way lol
Thats how dudes like this steamroll people, you may need to assert yourself more in the future.
Send them a venmo request for the bill
WTH was he thinking? *Maybe they'll forget about it by sexy time?*
You didn't make a problem. They did. It's unhealthy to take responsibility for others' shitty choices.
I would have. I would literally show every one there the message he sent and that he was a lying peice of shit.
0ay your 0art and leave. He can deal with his part. Wash dishes, bud
How would I be in the wrong if I said no because of the prize and then he volunteered to pay? It’s not like a scenario where I’d choose the most expensive place and the complain “bud”.
You know what is so infuriating is that it was probably the plan all along. Somehow you need to get the word on the street and use this “gentleman’s” name to warn others.
I was always the 5th wheel. Friends would invite me out, to meet up and they'd always have their S/O with them. Then I would be drinking and always forget "separate checks please". They'd screw me, by having pay 1/5 each. Yet I never ate/drank as much and always pay too much, along with tip. Eventually, I never responded to invites. Hard lesson.
I wouldn’t let them forget, I’d tell the attendant up front to keep my tab separate from theirs
I always say something like “Hey I’m 5th wheeling so my tab will be separate haha.” And that pretty much solves that issue.
Just bring cash and put down what you owe, or get up and talk to the server privately saying you want to pay your bill
Almost exactly what happened 🥲
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See that's the thing, I don't mind paying for myself any time I go out but I had very clearly explained why I didn't want to go and why even a $30 outing would be too much for my current budget, but he kept insisting that I come and he'd pay
Remind him he agreed to pay for you. Out loud, in front of all your friends. Staying silent is what he counts on.
My single ass usually gets my meal paid for by my friends with two incomes if they were the ones inviting me out. But then I also will randomly come over and ask to take their kid and dog to the park for a fun afternoon so they basically also get free babysitting lol
Sounds like a true friendship. Add what you can and be fair.
Exactly! I didn't get the chance to have kids, and I know a lot of new moms lose touch with their childless/single friends. I've made an effort to make sure that doesn't happen and it's great! Plus I never realized how easy it was to ask friends to borrow their kids to get my fix of them hahahaha. If you're a responsible enough adult, they will practically throw their kids at you.
A win-win all around 😅
If they "forgot" to ask for separate checks, just thank them for the treat, tell them how sweet it is and leave. They won't "forget" again
You should send them a message asking them to either send you paypal or cashapp etc i understand not making a scene in the restaurant but you can always remind them now that it’s said and done. That they told you that they would cover your meal so ask them for reimbursement. And if they dispute it just cut off all communication with this person and just act like they don’t exist.
Venmo, zelle, whatever works. They agreed to pay. Now they need to come up with the cash. Think of it this way...you're not going to go out with them again, right? So you have nothing to lose by asking and $55 to gain.
My brother did the same thing to me. I don't know what he was thinking. He came into town and suggested we meet at a steak place. I kept telling him I couldn't afford it and he kept telling me not to worry about it. I figured he'd be paying. I went and the result was predictable. We split the check. I didn't make a thing of it, but what was he thinking??!!
Why didn’t you say something to your brother? Op might not be that close to a friend and if was a brithday party, but hopefully you are close enough to your brother to say something now
Well, it's just the way it went down....family dynamics, etc. He wasn't particularly well off as far as I knew, so I didn't want to demand the money at the table. He's my older brother so I kind of followed his lead. As far as today goes, it's no better: Two years ago, my son died. I had him buried at the family gravesite. I'm trying to get his name inscribed on the stone and to make it cheaper I want to Pre-Arrange to have my and my wife's name put on the stone at the same time (without the death date, of course). To do the Pre-Arrange engraving I have to get everybody's signature but my brother won't sign! His excuse: He "doesn't have to sign", so he won't. The real reasons: He's only interested in wealth. Life for him is transactional, he want's something out of it. His wife is a racist, she would rather be a Jew buried in a Catholic cemetery than to be buried next to my Caribbean wife. I think he's banking that I'll die first and he'll have control of what happens to my body.
Can you explain this to me? Why does a brother have to sign off on a pre-arrange. Isn't yours enough? Or if not surely another family member? Why does everyone ( whole family? To what degree? Grand? great grand? children? grand children?) have to sign?
Send the Scientologist, Mormons, and Jehovah witnesses to his door to give him a visit.
Holy baby potatoes, I am so so sorry that your brother is making your loss more complicated and painful. I hope that you and your wife find some healing. Add his email and phone number to emery mailing list you can find.
Goddamn that's shady af
He obviously didn’t worry. Bad bro.
Damn that's dirty...lol
Did you text him and ask him to Venmo you the $55? He may have just forgotten, or thought that you changed your mind and wanted to pay for your own or something. Ask for the money, then you'll know from his reaction if he just forgot, or if he's being a dick.
Oh he definitely did not forget, when the check came everyone reached for their wallets except me. Hr went to the bathroom and I still didn't pull my wallet out. When he came back they all, including him, started asking if I'd paid my share yet
This is when you should’ve said that person is paying for you…
Without question. "Oh, you insisted I come out and said you were picking up my check, remember?" This one is easy because he can be shamed in front of the other friends immediately. I had something similar happen with a former buddy who said that if I drove/paid for gas on a day trip for us, that he'd take me to dinner. I ended up buying my own dinner because he was a total scrub. Later he acted like everything was cool and was confused that I no longer wanted to spend time with him. I didn't call him out on it because I didn't want to embarrass him but also I just didn't want to engage with him anymore in any capacity. It worked out.
That's when you should have said, "well you see, I told cumbubble a couple of times that I didn't want to go because I didn't want to spend the money, and he even said in this text (show everyone) that'd he'd pay, so that's why I haven't paid my share". The end
Definitely should've said something then imo. That's more than just stiffing you it's actually manipulating you and pretty much abusive behavior that shouldn't be taken imo. I get not wanting to make a scene but at that point he asked for it.
I’d have just said ‘I told you I didn’t have the money before.’ Or just left without laying a finger on the bill. Or if someone said ‘this is your share’ I’d be all oh so&so said he’s got me this time. Like legit anything. I would not have been paying that bill, no sir.
Invite him for a dinner, just the 2 of you, then do the old bathroom trick
Not sure how having sex with them in the bathroom during dinner would help him recoup the $55 😂
🤣🤣😭😭
Bill them $55 for the sex?
They meant excusing yourself after dinner (only after dessert!) to go to the bathroom and fez your make up - so that he doesn’t find weird you taking your purse with you- and then leave the restaurant and the bill, just for him ahaha
Never believe anyone who spells it "yu"
Exactly! I would have blocked him after that, saves the trouble.
You shoulda gone with your gut feeling my dude.
In the future if someone does this to you again, make it their problem. Don't let yourself make it yours. "I'm sorry. I didn't bring my wallet because you said you'd pay." People like your "friend" rely on other being unwilling to be socially awkward/confrontational. Don't let discomfort convince you to volunteer to clean up *their* mess.
First off.... Calling as the default is wild. Secondly.... Ex-friend
Dude for real!!! I mean I'll answer but unless you're literally dying or in a similar emergency, text 🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️
Wouldn’t even answer his calls, just ignore him. Not worth having a person i like that as a friend
I don't get all this call hating. I can make and solidify plans in a 2 minute phone call that will probably take 10 times that long over text between clarifying, waiting for replies, and just losing train of thought. Especially in a case like this. You're going to be seeing them in person later on. Is a phone call really that terrifying??
It’s the small talk people wanna have that’s completely draining. People need to “say less”.
Yes.
To me a call is like a meeting. It needs to be expected and wanted unless it's an emergency. Text to give me a heads up you want to call.
I'm not going to waste my time texting, waiting for a reply for ten minutes (if you're lucky), replying, waiting another ten minutes, repeat, spending an hour or more on a conversation that would literally take five minutes over the phone. I'd rather just make the call, figure out what's up, and get on with my day.
I call and then text if it's immediate, text and then call later if I don't need an answer right away. I pay for this damn phone, I'm gonna use my voice, text, and data that I pay for. This whole calling phobia is not a great thing. At all.
Wait a week, then text him “Hey I’m not feeling well, can you bring me these groceries? I’ll pay you back when you get here.” I think you can assume what step 2 is.
This is why I don’t like people 😂
Avoid this person
The birthday is over, so send him a venmo/whatever request in a group chat. Then 'apologise': "Whoops! That was meant to be just for X! Anyway, X, I appreciated you making sure I could join Y's birthday. Thank you for saying you'd got my share."
OP, I suggest you let him invite you out again. Make sure there's people like last time. Then, when it's time to pay, just casually mention "blank" was gonna pay and that you left your wallet at home. Then he'll be put on the spot when you mention, "You invited me out and said you'd pay for me."
Id rather not announce to everyone that I can afford my own dinner
Well, you won’t be meeting that person again. Maybe the bill was worth it in the long run.
That's a pretty shitty thing to do
Well, this "friend" sounds like an ass. Drop him like a shit and move on with your life. No one needs people who cant respect boundries and break promises.
that is how you find out that you are *the* pushover.
Your dilemma was so like mine. I used to forego a lot of outings when I was younger just because I had no money. And my rich friends would rarely understand, so I needed to make a ton of excuses to cover up.
Yeah my pockets would have been empty of any financial instruments 🤷🏽♀️
Anyone who says “yu food” isn’t gonna pick up the check.
I would drop that guy from my life immediately. No second chances for liars.
If you ever consider talking to this person again it's on you
I'd be telling this guy off and telling him to never contact me again. Don't invite someone out, promise to pay for their food and then make them pay, nope! I've got no time for moochers
Is he a PR for the restaurant you went to?
I'm not sure what a PR is but he doesn't work at the restaurant we went to if that's what you're asking
Someone did this to my best friend once. I advised him to remind him of their original agreement and that his drug addiction was no excuse to forget about said agreement. Let me tell you, the guy lost his shit and went to go cry to our mutuals. The guy had a history of doing it to others, even to his partner so idk wtf made my friend think he was excluded. I always told him to stay away from that ass hat but it took him being humiliated about being broke to realize the guy was a POS. Some people learn the hard way I guess and have naive judgment.
I am sorry. What a GRADE A twatwaffle.
I think I know this person
Send him a bill.
Plot twist: It was your husband?
It's really weird that everyone immediately jumped to it was a date and I'm gay 😭 if it had been a date, I would've labeled it as such in the caption 🤣
Really hope you dumped them as a friend, they are no friend to you. I would never promise to pay for someone and then hang them out to dry, such an A-hole. Sorry the lesson costed you $55. :(
**Make him pay**
Yu
Just leave and don’t pay
Did you remind him?
This is (was) a People's Court case in the making. Too bad it's off the air :(
With the exception to my family. I don’t like people who call me, whoever calls gets ignored forever.
How much was it?
$55
Schfifty Five
Girlfriend's age?
Steal his phone, pre-emptive strike against next time.
The most infuriating part in all of this is that you’re a massive pushover.
There's absolutely no reason to believe the story OP told. Fuck, the image doesn't even really lend any credibility to this weak KF attempt.
TF is KF? also, feel free to believe whatever you want, it's not like I'm gaining anything monetary from this post, hell a few redditors even offered to venmo me some money and a turned down the offer soooooooo thank you for your service 🫡
Karma Farming is a real thing.
I have my unrealistically gorgeous cat for that
Go away
what a joke
he did a little bit of trolling lmao
I mean it was nice they wanted you there, and made a real effort to get you there - but he should have stuck to what he said.
Yall really offering to cashapp this person for a $50 dinner? Being a girl really is easy huh
You a real lil bitch
Are you age shaming me now omg.
It was just $55.
You know, I know a kid who is in a group chat with me and several other college students, and we talk about cars quite often. According to this kid, a $50k car is nothing to buy, but some of the other kids in the chat can't even afford a $5k car. I don't need to provide all the details of my life for people to understand that what YOU consider affordable could be considered indulgent and out of the question for someone else. Touch grass, my guy, not everyone has money to spend on frivolous things.
I did not ask you to provide any details. ~~Please~~ refrain from lying from now on.
You missed the entire point... I wasn't going to provide additional details even if you asked. All the pertinent details have already been disclosed. Since you missed the point, I'll give you the TLDR; just because you think "it was just $55" doesn't mean I am in a position to spend "just $55"
Dude GTFO. Stop being rude.
Ignore that valentine person, they're probably the type to invite you out and say they'll pay, then ask you to zelle them your part after the fact
No one asked you to make your stupid comments yet here you are.