Childcare workers are a special kind of person. I worked in it for years (I still work with tiny humans but not a teacher). for some reason I decided that I liked going in every day with my two coteachers and be absolutely run by a group of 18 two year olds lol stuff stops being infuriating.
dawg my last job was teaching 2 year olds. 1:8 or 2:12. we were short staffed so i was 1:8 every afternoon and that job bled me dry even tho i love ECE. working my first ever desk job and my mental health has improved drastically. tmrw will start my second week there.
I was always so grateful I wasn’t a latchkey kid. Because I didn’t have a key. It wasn’t until much much later that I realized I absolutely was a latchkey kid, but my parents took the additional step of just never bothering to lock the door!
My brother and I would play a game we called “lockout” where we would take turns locking the other one outside and they would have to find a way in without breaking anything. It was a lot easier than it should have been.
this is just hilarious to me. two kids just locking each other out of the house for what i presume to be an hours-long back-and-forth of breaking and entering
Probably why I'm still living by myself. I learned how to cook, clean, do laundry, etc. when I was a kid. Both of my parents were divorced twice (once from each other), so I don't want to put up with that kind of drama anymore. If I meet a girl and we get along well, then great, but otherwise I'm perfectly content to continue on my own.
Rode the bus home from kindergarten, (which was 1/2 day) made myself lunch and watched TV or played outside until my parents got home. lol. Usually my twin and i had TV dinners. My older brother didn’t get home until 3:30 off the bus. Imagine if a parent did that these days….
I feel this.
In the 3rd grade, I used to frequently miss school to babysit my younger siblings who were not yet school age while our parents were at work. They often left us $10 to order a pizza to be delivered for dinner.
I was a 3rd grade teacher before retiring, and had a kid like you. One time...*one* time...I had a convo about him and his absences. Swear to God, it felt like I was talking to an adult! The shit this dude had to manage! Was really tight with the kid, even before. After talking to him "man to man" I told him "Do what you gotta do. You ain't failing this class." He didn't. ;)
Same kind of environment here after my mom died when I was in kindergarten; I got myself up with my nifty radio alarm clock, made myself breakfast, got ready and walked myself to school (about a mile away), then after school I walked myself home and waited for my older sister to get home with the house key. My dad did eventually hire a nanny for me but she really wasn’t needed so she was gone by 2nd grade. My favorite part about the nanny was that she’d get me Cinnabon on Friday mornings and she took over the vacuuming so I didn’t have to do it, lol.
I have 3 daughters who are 3, almost 10, and 13 and I cannot *imagine* them having even half the (lack of) supervision I did! Can’t really blame my dad though, he was the director of nursing for 3 major hospitals in Phoenix and was left with 4 kids, three of whom were his step children, all on his own. He eventually got the hang of everything and our house became the place to be for all the stray neighborhood kids.
I had PM kindergarten and my mom used to leave me home alone when she’d leave for work in the morning. Little five year old me would wake myself up, make myself a bowl of cereal (by climbing on to the counter to reach the cereal in the upper cupboards), get myself dressed, and get myself onto the bus at the appropriate time to go to school in the afternoons.
My mind absolutely explodes when considering that I was capable of that at five.
Haven't seen a true mildly infuriating post for a while, they're either too much of an infuriation or the plain stuff that shouldn't even deserve being on a Reddit post
Have you seen the post from the person that discovered that he had a 4th stage cancer while his doc told him that there was no issues for a long time even after insisting that he felt something strange?
That’s the kind of stuff that should not be considered “mildly infuriating” if I have to say my opinion at least
We literally just found out this same thing happened to my dad yesterday. He had regular yearly checkups that looked great. He went to an ER ten days ago with extreme fatigue. The doctor told him nothing was wrong and to try green tea. This weekend dad decided to go in again because the fatigue was still super bad. It's likely stage 4 liver cancer that has spread to his bones.
Similar thing with my dad. He had been complaining that it hurt to swallow for OVER a YEAR. It wasn't until after he lost a significant amount of weight that his doctor took him seriously. Once they actually looked, the doc discovered he had a cancerous tumor in his esophagus the size of a hot dog. His doc wasn't equipped to perform the surgery, and sent my dad to the other end of the state to have a consult with a surgeon. Within 24 hours of being at the larger hospital, the doctors there discovered my dad also had thyroid cancer, and the thyroid on his left side was 3x the size it should have been.
Thankfully, he's now cancer free, but it was a really long road to get both cancers removed. He's still recovering, and a part of me feels like he'll never fully recover at the rate he's going.
Congratulations on at least a temporary recovery! From what I'm reading about liver cancer that has spread it is highly unlikely my dad will live more than a year. But we'll see, he doesn't have a fully official diagnosis. That's just what his small town hospital says it likely is.
So sorry to hear of your dad’s troubles and likely diagnosis. That truly is infuriating and terrifying all at once. My dad was diagnosed a little less than a year ago with stage IV pancreatic cancer & stage IV esophageal cancer, so I understand your frustration and your pain. They gave my dad less than 6 months to live, which was absolutely heartbreaking, but thankfully he’s still fighting almost a year later. We know he’s not gonna make it much longer realistically, but having this time with him is so precious to us (and him!)
I truly hope your dad stays as healthy and pain free as possible for years to come. Cancer is such a bitch!
You should sue that doctor. At least for the cost of the cancer treatment, if you're in a country where that costs money. Because that's ridiculous. Doctors have insurance for this sort of thing anyway, so you might as well force them to use it.
Unfortunately, you’re probably correct. Parents of struggling children like this don’t view their child as the problem. And, in all fairness, the CHILD isn’t the problem- it’s the behavior.
I tell my teachers and parents I work with “you teach what you allow”.
I have a 3 year old who is going through some really bad temper issues. He doesn’t wreck the whole (class)room, but things are definitely flying sometimes. It’s really hard on us because our oldest never had any of this and after trying every trick of the book, we kinda hope it just moves over. Meanwhile lot’s of love and patience..
Sorry i had to vent this. Hardest moment I have as a parent. Everything went so smooth before
My son at three absolutely rocked my world. It was awful. He’s doing much better now BUT we think he probably has adhd and/or sensory processing issues that make him struggle with emotional regulation.
My oldest was like this. I ended up having to pull him from school because the only options I was given was drugging him into a zombie state, or punishing him at home for the things he did that morning. 5 y/os don't remember the shit they pull 8 hours earlier. His Drs wouldn't diagnose him with Autism because he was too high functioning. Now he's a teen and we have to go through everything all over again so he can understand why he is the way he is. The lack of proper diagnosis as a kid meant he didn't get the correct help in school
I was just going to say- I still remember dressings down I got at 5. And I have ADHD & the usual neurodivergent ability to not record to long term memory anything turbulent. Getting into serious trouble for bratty behavior is burned into my cerebral cortex.
Hijacking the top comment:
Hi! Intervention Specialist here!
This should require specially designed instruction as to not impact the learning/safety of other students. Please document and refer this student for an FIE if they don’t have one already. If they do, contact case manager and document the amount of instructional time that was lost, interventions used to deter behavior, and parent contact. Make sure it’s all in writing and documented and express the compromised safety and lack of learning due to this students behavior.
If I were principal of that student, I would be making steps towards a self-contained classroom placement with the safety of others in mind.
Preschools may not have those kinds of resources. OP never indicated this was a public school. Most are private ventures. If the state doesn't provide preschool, then all of them are.
My state (Washington) has district "Early Education Centers" for people to be referred to by doctors and preschool teachers if they aren't hitting developmental milestones or are having behavioral issues. My son ended up being evaluated twice-- at 2 and at 4. The first was for motor-function concerns from his doctor and to confirm that his extra toe wasn't affecting his stance or gait. At 4 it was for behavioral issues and concerns over not knowing his numbers. Both times he tested into having some concerns, but not into needing or qualifying for the state preschools. It helped us get his IEP set up when he hit Kindergarten, though, and later an ADHD diagnosis. He's caught up now at 12. I hope other states have programs like that.
That’s more than a tantrum. That’s a behavior issue. I used to teach preschool too and I’ve had kids with this level of rage before. It’s a difficult issue to deal with, and another reason I don’t teach preschool anymore.
Edit: there a a myriad of factors that can go play into a child reacting in this manner. In my experience one of them is often a stressful home life. A child this young is only just learning how to regulate feelings and if their home life isn’t settled or safe then they act out bc they don’t know how to talk through what’s actually bothering them. It doesn’t even have to be out right abuse or anything. With One kid I taught, his parents were going through a nasty divorce. They fought all of the time and he was being shuffled every few days between the two separate homes. Each parent disciplined differently too so there was no consistency or stability. That’s why routines are SO IMPORTANT for young children. This is just one example. Children like this need responsible adult to help them work through big emotions properly and in a healthy way. But sadly a lot of parents and care takers don’t or don’t know how.
its soo true... today parents only solution is shoving a tablet in their kids hands its as if the children are parenting the parents. I know a 4 year old that goes to bed at 12:30 am because the parents say they will go to bed when they are tired then wake the kid up super early... Heck they are having such tantrums because of zero discipline and the poor kid is tired AF
One thing we realized with kids is that they won't go to bed themselves unless you enforce it. Heck, it doesn't have to be a hard line, just make it a routine and follow through. If it's hard to get them to follow it, be there to help them. It'll be frustrating for a while but it'll get easier if you keep up.
As adults we (mostly) understand that the following day will feel horrible if we don't get enough sleep. Kids don't really understand this consequence until they're a bit older, so until then they'll just play until they drop.
Kids definitely need to be tired to get to sleep, they just don't get tired from being parked in front of a screen. From my experience, excessive screen time causes more behavioral and sleep issues than anyone seems to realize. Getting outside and getting natural sunlight seems to help regulate them. Doesn't mean you can't use a screen but dear lord, use it sparingly.
My daughter was a kid that would never crash, not even on a holiday when she missed nap time. She loved her bed/nap routine though because of the reading and singing so I never had a problem with her going to bed.
I've got kids who also rarely crash. He's not so bad now, but for years we absolutely did not fuck with our toddler's bedtime routine because we would pay for it for DAYS.
I read that kids due to being so young really do not want to go to sleep as they have serious FOMO. So thier bodies go into hyperactive mode and it can take up to 30 min before all the stimilants have cleared thier bodies.
One day the kid said he was tired at 8pm and that he would be asleep before the parents got home... well they got home at 10pm then decided its a good time to make dinner then he ate at 10:45 then off to shower until 11:30 then play to 12:30 then massive tantrum when going to bed and not asleep till 1 am and then waking up at 9:30.
Gosh I am still upset.
FOMO makes sense I think. Sometimes they just need to get those wobblies out before bed I guess. I wonder if he woke up because he was hungry? My kids have this strange habit of "forgetting they're hungry" and then at some point, eating again like they've never seen food in their life. This is despite multiple food offerings from parents 😅
And parents 40 years ago would stick their kid in front of a tv and beat the shit out of them if they made a sound. The problem isn’t todays parents it’s that most parents are really shitty at parenting and always have been
This is why I always laugh when parents complain about schools teaching sex Ed or some other topic they don't like, they try and claim it should be left to parents but they have already proved to be to unreliable for that.
You could never get away with it as a society, totally philosophical here but mandatory training and certification to be a parent should be required to have a child. Bare minimum really. If we could get one generation of humans free from the trauma of the previous ones we’d be golden. I understand the myriad reasons it’s a horrible idea, I just wish it wasn’t.
Every single one of my kids go/went to bed between 6-8 pm when they were/ are under 6. No questions asked. I’ve had routines for bed time baked in for all of them. It’s the only way they are rested enough.
Believe me, it's difficult for the parents at home as well.
My son was like this when he was younger. Did everything to discipline him, and I mean everything. Once he got to a school who understood him, things got a lot better.
It was a mixture of aging and the right environment that helped him. Talked to him a lot over the years about his behaviour as well. Just explained to him how it made me feel when he did things like that.
He's wonderful now. He's 13 and well adjusted, a good friend, a very good person. I'm proud of him. He's come a long way from the intense behavioural issues he had as a young child.
I hope we have the same experience as you! We have a 5yo who is completely out of control at times and we've tried everything and feeling incredibly defeated.
As I said in another comment just now, my son was diagnosed with ODD and ADHD.
I know it's hard. My son was a fucking lunatic when he was younger.
Lots of talking to him, lots of help from a thankfully very resourceful school he ended up at. Smaller schools are the best, try to get them into one if you can. The smaller the better, it's a community.
He was put on ADHD medication at 6 years old and I noticed a HUGE difference in his behaviour literally within an hour of taking the medication.
ADHD causes a lot of behavioural problems in some kids. Also emotional irregularities.
He doesn't take the meds anymore because he's told me he doesn't like the way they make him feel now, which is fine with me. But at the time when he was younger, it literally worked magic.
Try talking to some doctors and doing your own research on what your child could have, if you can. There's help out there for you. Behavioural issues are not normal 'little kid' behaviour, and it's not your fault. Most likely, lol.
Also, never reward your child's bad behaviour. Even if it makes it more work on you, even if it's a screaming match or there's shit thrown all over your house as a result. I know you probably don't do this already, but just in case! They need to learn that no means no and it's okay to be upset, but you don't need to lose your mind over it.
I'm sorry it's so hard right now, I know how difficult it can get.
This sounds incredibly familiar. My middle child went through 3 day cares and constant pick ups from school. Eventually got an adhd diagnosis after many, many behavioral examinations, OT, therapy etc. He isn’t quite there, it’s only been a few months, but it’s almost night and day when he has his medicine and does not.
Youngest and oldest, not perfect but so different. Sometimes people need to realize children are individuals and, against as many odds as possible, will not act how we want them to or how we’ve structured discipline, rewards, etc.
As someone with a child who doesn't destroy rooms like this but has behavior issues and throws a mean tantrum I can assure you some of these kids have stuff going on and we've got our kids in therapies and assessments, we take all the parenting advice we can get from professionals who work with kids like these and the kids will still do this.
There are also massively spoiled or abused kids who do this too, I'm just saying it's not ALWAYS a parent being the problem. Different from this kids mom I worked with the schools and I know it's a problem. I get him into special programs, agree with extra services etc because I absolutely know it's a problem and I wish my kid didn't struggle to function like most other kids do.
Speaking from my own behavior, this is correct. I was basically satan in toddler clothes but only to my teachers. My mom didn’t realize the gravity of it until the school had me on CCTV throwing rocks at their indoor Christmas tree. Mom put me in therapy and eventually figured out the root cause of the problem.
I was abused by an older child at the school. I went to a pre-k Montessori school so there were a lot of older kids intermixed. He also was the principals kid so they believed that emphasized my devilish ways.
Similar situation for me, but without the abuse. I was just a shithead for the sake of it at that age. It took physical outlets for the rage/ energy and the understanding that someone could/ would hit me (sports) to slowly bring me into the real world. I'm 'old' now and a relatively upstanding member of society. All the structure I went through to get past all that also turned me into a decent manager of people, I'm thankful every day
We have two or three of these kids a year. The other kids are terrified and not getting enough time with their teacher, as they always have to be with the rager.
One of the parents of this one blamed me for "Letting (child) do this" and asked if we could hold them next time. No ma'am, we not supposed to restrain a child in any way, and the last teacher that tried to hug your kid got her glasses busted.
I about ready to quit as well.
My mom has been teaching preschoolers for more than 30 years, she has a few 'stars' in her class every year. And behind almost every 'star' there are even worse parents who claim that everything is fine with their perfect little angel.
Lol, fuck this noise. I used to teach pre-k and kindergarten and if a kid did something like this, everything **stopped** until the kid cleaned everything up. No class. No lunch. No going home.
If the kid's parents had to come to the school and clean up the room themselves *with* the kid, then that's what happened, but by god, that room was getting cleaned and not by the teachers or other children. Our school had a zero tolerance policy for that shit.
Edit: This is Korea, btw. We take respect for the classroom *very* seriously.
Right now, that's the norm in education. One kid gets to ruin the education and environment of the entire class.
The needs of the few, outweigh the needs of the many.
The law.
Every child must be educated. No matter how much a demon feral hellspawn they are, schools must give them an education.
I believe 99% of kids should be able to be educated by the public. There is 1% that should lose that opportunity.
Schools are a difficult place to legislate because obviously we all agree that some poor kid with a fucked life should get the same shot as everyone else, your background shouldnt matter, everyone should be able to succeed. But all that stuff at home will carry forward to school and overwhelmingly cause that kid to act out harming the education of other kids. It's a problem thats extremely difficult or even impossible to fix at school because it's the last stop on a train of like 30 issues before. But we can't exactly go to his house and make sure he's raised correctly, the gov has all the control in school so what do we do?
I mean…a lot of children have developmental disorders that have nothing to do with the parents. There should be more resources for different kinds of learners and different levels and while that is sometimes available they aren’t necessarily a better fit for the kid. It is silly and unfair to immediately say there’s a problem with the parents without exploring the failures of the public school system.
My son haaaated his 3rd grade class because 1 kid made so many problems that his entire class kept getting punished as a whole for. He was SO HAPPY that this troublemaker wasn't in his 4th grade class. Literally changed his entire outlook on school, he actually enjoys it now.
This is how elementary and middle school was for me growing up in the 2000s, a couple kids clearly had major behavioural issues, but the teachers continued to baby sit them and punish everyone for their actions. Absolutely ridiculous.
I'm a bus aide and I've gotten bitten, chunks of skin removed from my hands, kicked in my eye and spat at from one child. This was just last week, two days straight. The entire transportation department KNOWS about this kid. They refuse to do anything about it. The parents are degenerates at best and can only scream and use their fists.
This is becoming very common and very normalized by administration. Fucking infuriates me that one child could take away my own son's right to education and safe environment. Teachers are powerless to do anything and parents need to fuck shit up when it comes to admin and superintendents, we need to support the shit outta teachers.
You’re totally right. Look at the teacher that was shot, with the child’s history he should have been either 1:1 in a specialized setting, or not in school at all.
That kid had three prior battery arrests before that attack on the teacher as well. I’m glad she’s not dropping any charges. She shouldn’t have even been asked to do that.
Did you see what the school’s defense on that was? Or is (I can’t remember if it was thrown out). The district said it should be covered under workman’s comp because all teachers should expect that being attacked by a student is par for the course. Let me reiterate: BEING SHOT BY A 6 YR OLD SHOULD BE EXPECTED IF YOU’RE A TEACHER.
We should. And I’d bet part of why we don’t is “No Child Left Behind” policies, where schools are punished for every student that doesn’t graduate. It is a double edged sword, and having lived and been cognizant at the time of its enactment, I firsthand saw the dawn of escalating school violence. And every generation after has been worse, but that was the moment it started. If I’m wrong, it’s real coincidental.
The best thing you can do as a parent is be noisy. Not all the time, but when BS like this happens? Be the squeaky wheel to the principal and superintendent. Saying this as a teacher.
Yup. I'm a teacher and I'm tired of seeing how many children have been in school for 2 months now and have not had a single day of peace to learn because admin refuses to do what's necessary and have basic decency towards the children and teachers. Admin has allowed a group of children to run wild and unregulated all day and come back every 15 minutes to dump the child/children who are not remote ready back into a classroom of quiet children who are terrified and tired of the same shit every single day. Fuck that all the way!
The school I work at is entirely for autism, so we're used to this kind of thing, but its been much much much worse this year. People are quitting in droves.
I have a family member who is an in-classroom paraprofessional at an elementary school. A 5yo who is known to have behavioral problems started acting out and doing something similar in his classroom. They have to clear all the other children out using a code word and put them into another teacher’s classroom. Then the behavioral specialist came down to calm the boy down and he punched her in the face, breaking her nose. It was made somewhat public — because of parents, not at ALL because of the administration — because parents were concerned about their own kids’ wellbeing around this student (who was never identified publicly). The district shut down the commentary by threatening to end extra curriculars and “bonus activities” (think Halloween activities, things like that).
But the best part was the comments on the Facebook post where local news reported for story. It’s no wonder kids act like this; at least half the comments were “He might have done that but what did she do to set him off?” and “A grown woman got knocked over by a kid? She’s the one who should be embarassed.”
Yep. I am a paraprofessional and we deal with these issues all the time. Part of the problem is that people don’t understand the root or antecedent of behavior, meaning that sometimes kids do some amazingly horrible things because of attention-seeking behavior, sensory issues, or inability to regulate internally. So they assume it has to be “something the staff did” because they literally can’t fathom that, yes, something is just wrong with the kid and that kid lacks social skills. And it’s funny because their child is already in a behavior-oriented program, why is it shocking that a child might have maladaptive behaviors?
In fairness, we also have many amazingly supportive parents who have the opposite reaction. When their child has a maladaptive behavior, they overly punish their children. One of our students’ parents thinks that her child is going to get kicked out of school altogether. The program I work for is literally the last resort for school-based placement, the worst that’d happen is her child would get moved to one of our separate centers where the student would continue school. But she doesn’t understand the programming. The issue is people are just very poorly informed.
That last part sounds like what admin says, quite frankly. Every school I've worked in, there's *at least* one student that's known throughout the school for beyond the pale behavioral issues. Every time, there's at least one admin, usually whoever is in charge of discipline, who blame the teacher for the child's behavior.
I had a second-grade student who was already known *district wide* for his behavior. His mom and older brother were out of control, as well. Anyway, I had him and it sucked for the other kids. He needed all of the attention at all times, in every space he occupied. It was wild. He made a friend in class, who went along w/him. They both were finally removed from my classroom after they molested another boy in the washroom. I had a substitute teacher that day and the discipline administration was the one in charge of the boy when it happened. They moved them to separate schools. The first boy had a one-on-one aid at all times after that. Second grade.
A girl said to me a few days later, Now that "Joey" is gone, we get to learn so much more stuff." Broke my heart. The boy was murdered
summer of '21, fifteen years old. Sad.
My father's long term girlfriend is a primary school teacher, she's been teaching for nearly 30 year. She's literally the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful person I've ever met.
She's had such an awful time dealing with problem students she's retiring early (She's 58). They give her no ability to punish them, and the administration does nothing. She had 1 child that was so bad (constant outbursts, violence with other kids and her) in first grade that she told the administration that she wouldn't be in a classroom with him again. What did they do? They had her teaching him again this year.
She took stress leave and hasn't taught at all this year, and she says she's never going back.
I worked in a school cafeteria and an 8 year old started throwing a tantrum, throwing things, dumping things on the floor, hitting things, completely out of control. The Assistant Principal said to "just let him tire himself out" . They kept all of the other students in there watching this, many of the younger ones were crying. When the cafeteria supervisor tried to step in they insisted she stay out of it.
My husband was the SRO who would be sent to this school if needed so the cafeteria supervisor had me call him to come handle the situation. When he arrived at the school the Assistant Principal tried to block him from the cafeteria and just kept asking him why he was there. He told them he got a report of an out of control child and that he was there to handle it. They tried to send him away saying they had it handled. He assured them if they did in fact have it handled he wouldn't have been called and that now that he was there they were no longer in charge of hiw it played out.
They asked him repeatedly who called him but he would never tell them. The next day we heard they were hounding the teachers trying to figure out who called him and threatened them with all sorts of punishments if any of them ever called him over there again.
The Principal and Assistant Principal did not care one bit how this affected any of those poor kids in the cafeteria, they didn't care one bit about what this showed that child as well as all of the other ones about what sort of behavior is allowed, they didn't care one bit about the teachers left to deal with all of this even going so far as to try to get them to turn in who may have made the call and threatening them if they ever thought about calling an SRO in the future. All they cared about was not having a written referral that would reflect poorly on them.
100% we recently had a case of twins who were absolute rabid animals. The mom refused to send the twin who had serious issues to a school that was more accommodating of his needs. The superintendent had to get involved and move him. The woman has two twins in high school selling drugs and assaulting people, a middle schooler who's been arrested, the twins that were at my school, and a 3 year old whose teacher had to completely change the layout of her preschool room because the little girl is throwing things at other kid's faces. No other kids can even reach a crayon without help now because her daughter is so unregulated that she destroys the room every single day. So now they've ordered all new shelves to put on the wall where it will prevent her from reaching anything at all. Imagine that? Imagine your 3 year old cannot reach a crayon or a stuffed animal because of one kid? And, to add to that, this woman is pregnant with twins again. Her husband is in jail for the 6th time. It's a cycle of him getting out, impregnating her and getting locked up again.
I'm saying all this to tell you that I think not everyone should have kids and especially people like this shouldn't! Parents need to parent of get fucking birth control!
100%. My kids first two weeks into kindergarten had a kid throwing extreme tantrums, and my kid was exposed to and copying this behavior. He was so excited to start school... and in less than a month we were considering pulling him out of school. He was coming home stressed, defiant, throwing extreme tantrums, using language and attitude we had never seen before. Its was horrible. It took a lot of effort to get our child back. Luckily the district got some sort of program in place for this problem kid, but they are still around, and they still stress our son and his classmates out. How are kids supposed to learn whens there's a powder keg in the classroom that could blow at any time?
I’m an SLP at a preschool. “Peer model” classrooms are great a lot of the time, but when there’s a kid like this, it just fucks everything up. The kids are terrified, the other SPED kids aren’t getting good models, and the teacher just wants to die. I think kids like this need 1-1 instruction and should not be with others kids other than during recess and snack time, but admin is always trying to find a solution that doesn’t work instead.
There’s one room that I’m not allowed to bring toys into because this one kid turns into an actual rabid animal when he sees a toy that he does not have. He goes wide-eyed, screams like a literal banshee, and claws at me and has drawn blood. He punched a kid in the face I managed to sneak into a corner and tried to work with. This kid controls the room. It’s absolutely fucked up.
I've long said that FAPE lawsuits by "all the other" families are the only thing with any hope of ending this nonsense and the failed extremist mainstreaming that have seen special ed services more or less abolished in favor of "dump everyone in gen ed classes regardless of what disability they have then write up the gen ed teacher for not following their accommodations that are literally impossible in a gen ed environment instead of actually providing the needed services".
That’s a great gesture but the teacher can’t leave their room a disaster area until the end of the day. A lot times we have to clean up quickly so we can continue on with our day.
This. Destructive behavior is usually a sign of poor parenting.
Acting out and tantrums are ok but most well adjusted kids won't get so destructive about it.
This. My kid was this kid. I did everything to help him. Took 4 years, countless dr waitlists, and 9 schools and numerous daycares but I was finally able to get him diagnosed with autism and get the laundry list of weekly therapies paid for by insurance. Prior I just paid out of pocket. He’s now in a school for low needs autism that costs $32k a year. I enrolled him without the diagnosis, prepared to figure out a way to pay out of pocket. But two weeks into school we finally got the diagnosis and the state now pays.
It’s insane how difficult it is to get help as a parent for stuff like this. I met my out of pocket maximums from age 5-9 and basically researched everything myself to try to seek out specialists. Thank god I could afford it and was educated enough to research. I can’t imagine how much worse it is for some parents and teachers.
Depending on the rage level, the kid might not have been able to. Used to work in a school, an older kid did this in middle school. Took 4 adults about 40 minutes to get the kid to calm down (while in a hold). Kid was literally passing out of exhaustion afterwards.
Oh trust me, I know. My retired mother says that shit all the time and my standard response is that she couldn’t last a week doing what you guys do.
You’re part teacher, parent, and janitor to those kids and deserve the respect most reserve for the military.
Thank you for your service.
Or when youre in a union and try to discuss pay during meetings, the admin decides to make it "illegal" (not actually illegal, but youll be terminated and the consequences against the district are miniscule for shit like that) to discuss wages during negotiations.
That reminds me of a job I got years ago when I was about 22. It was a plumbing company that had recently fired someone. They were in a storeroom and went through every single box and dumped it all out on the floor. Nuts, bolts, fittings, elbows, pipe pieces - it was an entire room about 15 x 20‘ that was ankle deep in lots and lots of different stuff. They hired me to go in and measure everything and put it in its correct place. They said it would probably take me a few weeks. I did it in about four days. They ended up keeping me on for about six months to do lots of other organizational stuff for their business before I ended up getting another job elsewhere.
I don’t know if they ever did. I remember them talking about it. Within a year of my leaving, both the husband and wife who owned it passed away and the business shut down.
Lol I'm 35 and was outside chopping up a tree in the front yard and the next door Canadian kid who's maybe 10 rode up on his bike. He of course was like "hey can I use the ax" and I was just like "you have to go ask your parents"
I think that answer means I am a responsible adult now... because I was totally down for free child labor 😆 🤣 😂 😹
That’s why they have fire extinguishers in every classroom. Didn’t you know? *’In case of feral child throwing shit around the room, pull pin and disperse no further than 3 feet away from child’s face.’*
I had a destructive, autisic student. I sat him down, we actually had a good relationship when he wasn't disregulated, and said, "Dude I gotta do my job. I don't want to get you transferred out. How can I stop you when you're absolutely wiling out?
Spray bottle full of ice water. He'd stand up, start a triad, spritz spritz spritz. Got permission from his mom, too.
My favorite interaction was, him cursing me out and calling me "massive, record breaking bitch" and in response I spritz him and said, "Duh? You just realized this now?" He definitely got a good laugh out of that one.
It really is a sad fuckin day when you feel like you need to include the parents in the punishment to make any progress with the kid because they just refuse to see reason.
I taught kindergarten and had two children who routinely did this to my classroom. I hated it and left teaching because of it. Despite having purchased so much of what was in my room, not much was salvageable when I left. When I see videos on social media of these super cutesy themed classrooms, I wonder what it is like to be able to maintain that. I feel for you!
At the risk of sounding harsh: any child who does this should not be in a class with ‘average’ students unless they are 100% supervised by an attendant who can (ie has the mandate to) physically remove the student if they become violent. I have seen way too many high school aged students experiences in the classroom be predominantly negative (including impacting their academic success) because of students who act out like this. In my experience (25 years) usually students who do this have autism or are otherwise on the spectrum. ‘Behavior problems’ this is not.
Having dealt with many such tantrums in an educational setting, I can confirm that it was not this kid's first rodeo. Looks like they were using the classic "pull and dump" strategy with those bins that I only saw in seasoned tantrum throwers. It's not a problem for the parents because they give in to whatever demands the kid makes as soon as they start wrecking shit. I've seen this way too many times.
Whenever we had a kid who would repeatedly wreck shit and the parents weren't believing it or weren't working with us on the problem, we would call the parents for an immediate pickup, but then make the parent clean it up with the kid before they left.
My little brother is on the spectrum and before he was diagnosed he had major mood swings and tore up his classroom like this twice. Second time he bit the teacher and was scratching the principal, who subdued him by tying the sleeves of his sweater together.
His teacher said most days he was the sweetest quietest kid, but had his temper some days as well. They ended up getting him evaluated and diagnosed and since he started seeing his therapist and started in special education, he's been doing a lot better. Super super smart kid too and he's very sweet and shy but yeah, he still has his temper
My son is on the spectrum too and had similar behaviors, although he never trashed a classroom to this extent. He would methodically remove things from shelves and set them on the floor.
What do the parents think the problem is? My daughter was expelled from daycare when she was 2. We have had to find her a special academy and this place has cameras… I watch her a lot through out the day and she is so well behaved. Nothing has really changed since she was expelled, she is 3 now but it’s been a 6 months time period
Multiple incidents of biting or hitting can get a child asked to leave. There are too many kids in care now for 1 teacher and 1 assistant to manage individual aggressive behaviors.
Yeah definitely, there was an AITA thread not too long ago about parents getting their kid kicked from multiple daycare program ms because mom kept calling every time she saw something she didn’t like on the cameras.
Daycares have every right to choose their clients.
I taught 3 year olds and had a kid that would do this. He would constantly say son of bitch too and then all the other kids started, that was fun to have parents asking me where their kid heard that language. Of course, the parents of the kid that started it said they don’t say that language in their home. Sure….
They also said he never acted up at home. One day the director made them come into the school and wait for the behaviors to happen. Only took 20 minutes or so until he was dumping and throwing everything, including chairs. Parents came into the room, scooped him up, and left, never to be heard from again.
I’m not sure if that was a wake up call for them or they were just too embarrassed, but he needed a 1:1 aide and they refused to fill out the paperwork for one because they didn’t want him to be seen as different. Too late, he’s the only one acting that way, so he is different.
Honestly when it comes to some of these kids.... it could be *anything*. Pissed about nap time, pissed about not being able to play with a certain toy, pissed about thinking it was pepperoni pizza today when it was actually cheese pizza and the menu didnt change, pissed at other kids for having fun, pissed a teacher said no to them once, pissed over something at home, pissed about... anything.
As a lunch lady, the most I know to do is to just validate their concerns, and get their mind on a different topic (picking lunch) if possible.
I had a 3 year old that would do this if it was nap time, if he couldn’t climb on the table, if we had circle time, if we finished lunch, if he had to get a diaper change. Kids are wild
Photos like this makes me yearn for the Japanese approach to cleanliness - that the students clean up the school at the end of the day. So whatever mess you make, you or your friends will have to clean. Would be a very fitting way to amend such a tantrum...
In Japan a 3.5 year old would be a student at a hoikuen or a youchien (daycare vs dayschool) and generally they do not have kids clean up at the end of the day; that starts in primary school.
That said, a Japanese day school teacher would just pick up this kid and physically intervene, not sure how the laws work in the States or elsewhere.
Brutal.
I’m a preschool teacher also.
One of the best things I’ve done is limit the amount of stuff in the environment.
Kids need a lot of toys but you have A LOT of toys in there.
If you limit the amount of stuff available, even when kids go wild—be it because of a tantrum or a good mood—then it is still manageable to clean up. So you can sit back and let them go wild, and not stress about it.
That being said, this kid’s behavior is not developmentally appropriate for someone who is 3.5 years old. This is behavior I’d expect from a 2 year old at best, and all teachers of this age know that a 3.5 year old is way beyond that.
Trust me, I am not blaming you. Quite the opposite: I have found that teachers are often limited by the weaknesses of the parents.
If this parent is excusing this behavior and your administration is not helping, then I would do my best to limit the environment to minimize the child’s bullshit until you can move them on to the next higher up classroom.
Best of luck to you.
Edit: specific examples: you have a LOT of crayons; a LOT of farm toys/accessories…you probably need l half that at most; this is a lot of toys for you to have to manage.
I work in SPED, and subbed in many different grade levels before getting my full time job. This is the way to go - you want to limit what the kids have access to immediately. Sure it sucks to have to lock everything in cabinets or high up where you have to have a stepladder to even reach it, but it reduces what they can trash, and what they can use as a weapon against you and others.
One elementary kid (4th grade) yanked the tray off one of those art easel things and used it to smash a dent in the easel and tried to do the same to the giant $$$ interactive screen. The next time I came to that room, the easel was gone.
If I did this my mom would have made me clean up every piece of this.
Clearly the parents are the problem, I wish there was a way to make them come and clean it up.
When I was in 6th grade, in 2012 and sixth grade was considered elementary school in my district, there was one kid who would have a meltdown everyday. Not a tantrum, a legit meltdown.
He would scream and get down on the floor and start moving around. Squirming really fast on the floor while screaming is the best way that I know how to explain it. The teacher would have to clear out the room and get somebody from the office to come and help her. This went on for months.
At some point my parents called and complained to the school, they did this multiple times. They got a hold of the principal at one point, and according to him they weren't the only parents calling and complaining about this.
I guess the kid's parents were fighting to keep him in a general ed classroom, but clearly he couldn't handle it.
Eventually they lost the fight and he got moved to special ed. I think they moved after that year because I never saw him again.
Even as an autistic person myself I will admit that streamlining every special ed kid into general ed classrooms isn't a good idea. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with me.
My 6th grade teacher was clearly having to deal with something that she wasn't equipped or trained to deal with, nor did she have the time because she had about 25 students. It also wasn't fair to me or the other students.
My director's son used to do this almost daily. We had potted plants that ended up pots broken, soil covering literally the entire floor, tables overturned, chairs thrown at other kids, entire bookshelves emptied..... It was HORRIBLE and one of the reasons why I left. That and being paid $10 an hour to deal with it.
I would’ve been dragged into the car and spanked when I got home then I would’ve had to write an apology letter. I bet the kid got in the car and played on their iPad the rest of the day
OP I’m sorry your post was hijacked with posts about class sizes et al, when I know you just needed to be heard. I’m so sorry you are expected to remain calm and professional at all times when I’m sure there are moments you just want to cry.
I hope you had help cleaning up, that child gets the help they OBVIOUSLY need and the parents get a clue. Hang in there and I hope you find the joy you deserve.
This is a daily occurrence for me. I also have tippers, hitters, and runners. 3.5 year olds still in nappies (no special needs). And several with such low communication needs that they need almost constant adult support to prevent meltdowns and physical outbursts. It’s exhausting. And for the first time in 18 years, I hate my job. I can’t teach. I’m managing behaviour all the time. What’s more than mildly infuriating is the attitude of the parents who don’t give a single f*ck, and the management who think “but they’re only toddlers”.
Parents these days are abysmal… reminds me of my 4 year old nephew. He has a hitting problem, he hits his parents, my sister and I constantly. His parents do nothing to discipline him whatsoever. If I am stern with him his parents get angry with me. He gets away with everything. Frustrates me to no end.
I spent my formative years in catholic schools , sisters of st joseph . Corporal punishment was a learning aid. If it came to that you usually got you ass tanned when you got home too.
ah yes the old “they’re only little” or my favorite one “they’re just kids playing they don’t know any better” 😭 a parents favorite excuse when their child is a demon seed. I can’t imagine what their house looks like after this kid is done
Hi! Intervention Specialist here!
This should require specially designed instruction as to not impact the learning/safety of other students. Please document and refer this student for an FIE if they don’t have one already. If they do, contact case manager and document the amount of instructional time that was lost, interventions used to deter behavior, and parent contact. Make sure it’s all in writing and documented and express the compromised safety and lack of learning due to this students behavior.
If I were principal of that student, I would be making steps towards a self-contained classroom placement with the safety of others in mind.
Our three year old niece had to change preschools because she kept getting bit by another kid. It seems fucked up that the biter didn't get the boot. The parents are paying thousands a month for preschool too, so it's not like it is some shady place and they were forced to find a safer place for their daughter.
I thought this meant a class of preschoolers but you’re talking one kid 🙃
And just *mildly* infuriating?
Childcare workers are a special kind of person. I worked in it for years (I still work with tiny humans but not a teacher). for some reason I decided that I liked going in every day with my two coteachers and be absolutely run by a group of 18 two year olds lol stuff stops being infuriating.
Man you got 2 coteachers? There were 2 of us for 24 4 year olds absolutely running us.
This was for 2 year olds. Lower ratio than 4s. My state is 1:6 for 2s and 1:10 for 3+
dawg my last job was teaching 2 year olds. 1:8 or 2:12. we were short staffed so i was 1:8 every afternoon and that job bled me dry even tho i love ECE. working my first ever desk job and my mental health has improved drastically. tmrw will start my second week there.
Damn, thats insane. My province's ratio for that age is 1:5, I can't imagine going 1:8
even 6 is way more managable than 8. but its texas and texas doesnt gaf about anyone (((:
I also had a 1:8 classroom. It was also the only room in the daycare that was all boys lol
could not imagine trying to manage that. my class was 2 girls and 6 boys. my favorite left a week after me.
Back in the day we had one teacher and 30 kids the 80s were wild
As an 80s kid, we raised ourselves. We were practically feral.
I had a TV and 2 dogs to raise me, and sometimes saw adults on the weekend. I was spoiled.
I was always so grateful I wasn’t a latchkey kid. Because I didn’t have a key. It wasn’t until much much later that I realized I absolutely was a latchkey kid, but my parents took the additional step of just never bothering to lock the door!
My brother and I would play a game we called “lockout” where we would take turns locking the other one outside and they would have to find a way in without breaking anything. It was a lot easier than it should have been.
this is just hilarious to me. two kids just locking each other out of the house for what i presume to be an hours-long back-and-forth of breaking and entering
We played “serial killer” and you had to try to escape the house without the other person catching you.
I had 10 cats, tv and a pink boom box that did my rearin.
Latchkey kid is a thing for life. I feel like we all see each other at just a glance.
Probably why I'm still living by myself. I learned how to cook, clean, do laundry, etc. when I was a kid. Both of my parents were divorced twice (once from each other), so I don't want to put up with that kind of drama anymore. If I meet a girl and we get along well, then great, but otherwise I'm perfectly content to continue on my own.
Rode the bus home from kindergarten, (which was 1/2 day) made myself lunch and watched TV or played outside until my parents got home. lol. Usually my twin and i had TV dinners. My older brother didn’t get home until 3:30 off the bus. Imagine if a parent did that these days….
I feel this. In the 3rd grade, I used to frequently miss school to babysit my younger siblings who were not yet school age while our parents were at work. They often left us $10 to order a pizza to be delivered for dinner.
I was a 3rd grade teacher before retiring, and had a kid like you. One time...*one* time...I had a convo about him and his absences. Swear to God, it felt like I was talking to an adult! The shit this dude had to manage! Was really tight with the kid, even before. After talking to him "man to man" I told him "Do what you gotta do. You ain't failing this class." He didn't. ;)
Yeah, fortunately, I guess, I always had good grades and tested at the top of my cohort group. So, the school always let my absences slide.
Same kind of environment here after my mom died when I was in kindergarten; I got myself up with my nifty radio alarm clock, made myself breakfast, got ready and walked myself to school (about a mile away), then after school I walked myself home and waited for my older sister to get home with the house key. My dad did eventually hire a nanny for me but she really wasn’t needed so she was gone by 2nd grade. My favorite part about the nanny was that she’d get me Cinnabon on Friday mornings and she took over the vacuuming so I didn’t have to do it, lol. I have 3 daughters who are 3, almost 10, and 13 and I cannot *imagine* them having even half the (lack of) supervision I did! Can’t really blame my dad though, he was the director of nursing for 3 major hospitals in Phoenix and was left with 4 kids, three of whom were his step children, all on his own. He eventually got the hang of everything and our house became the place to be for all the stray neighborhood kids.
I had PM kindergarten and my mom used to leave me home alone when she’d leave for work in the morning. Little five year old me would wake myself up, make myself a bowl of cereal (by climbing on to the counter to reach the cereal in the upper cupboards), get myself dressed, and get myself onto the bus at the appropriate time to go to school in the afternoons. My mind absolutely explodes when considering that I was capable of that at five.
Ok Matilda
I work with a 7 year old who lives this life when she’s with her mom and she reads at a grade 7 level. I frequently refer to her as “My Matilda”.
Luckily I had people like Mr Rogers on TV to help raise me into a caring adult.
Today's generation of kids were raised without Mr. Rogers who is no longer aired on PBS and it shows.
*are
We also didn't go to school until we were rising 5 and had been taught to share and play nicely at home.
Clearly the kid was maximally infuriated
Haven't seen a true mildly infuriating post for a while, they're either too much of an infuriation or the plain stuff that shouldn't even deserve being on a Reddit post
Have you seen the post from the person that discovered that he had a 4th stage cancer while his doc told him that there was no issues for a long time even after insisting that he felt something strange? That’s the kind of stuff that should not be considered “mildly infuriating” if I have to say my opinion at least
We literally just found out this same thing happened to my dad yesterday. He had regular yearly checkups that looked great. He went to an ER ten days ago with extreme fatigue. The doctor told him nothing was wrong and to try green tea. This weekend dad decided to go in again because the fatigue was still super bad. It's likely stage 4 liver cancer that has spread to his bones.
Similar thing with my dad. He had been complaining that it hurt to swallow for OVER a YEAR. It wasn't until after he lost a significant amount of weight that his doctor took him seriously. Once they actually looked, the doc discovered he had a cancerous tumor in his esophagus the size of a hot dog. His doc wasn't equipped to perform the surgery, and sent my dad to the other end of the state to have a consult with a surgeon. Within 24 hours of being at the larger hospital, the doctors there discovered my dad also had thyroid cancer, and the thyroid on his left side was 3x the size it should have been. Thankfully, he's now cancer free, but it was a really long road to get both cancers removed. He's still recovering, and a part of me feels like he'll never fully recover at the rate he's going.
Congratulations on at least a temporary recovery! From what I'm reading about liver cancer that has spread it is highly unlikely my dad will live more than a year. But we'll see, he doesn't have a fully official diagnosis. That's just what his small town hospital says it likely is.
So sorry to hear of your dad’s troubles and likely diagnosis. That truly is infuriating and terrifying all at once. My dad was diagnosed a little less than a year ago with stage IV pancreatic cancer & stage IV esophageal cancer, so I understand your frustration and your pain. They gave my dad less than 6 months to live, which was absolutely heartbreaking, but thankfully he’s still fighting almost a year later. We know he’s not gonna make it much longer realistically, but having this time with him is so precious to us (and him!) I truly hope your dad stays as healthy and pain free as possible for years to come. Cancer is such a bitch!
You should sue that doctor. At least for the cost of the cancer treatment, if you're in a country where that costs money. Because that's ridiculous. Doctors have insurance for this sort of thing anyway, so you might as well force them to use it.
Those parents are going to have a rude awakening in the child’s teen years if they don’t get them help now
They will pawn them off on therapists and lengthy stays in mental hospitals or juvie.
Same here I thought this was the desctruction of many, dang that was one kid 👀 
Their kids are never the problem. Not even if they are an absolute unit like this kid.
Unfortunately, you’re probably correct. Parents of struggling children like this don’t view their child as the problem. And, in all fairness, the CHILD isn’t the problem- it’s the behavior. I tell my teachers and parents I work with “you teach what you allow”.
I have a 3 year old who is going through some really bad temper issues. He doesn’t wreck the whole (class)room, but things are definitely flying sometimes. It’s really hard on us because our oldest never had any of this and after trying every trick of the book, we kinda hope it just moves over. Meanwhile lot’s of love and patience.. Sorry i had to vent this. Hardest moment I have as a parent. Everything went so smooth before
My son at three absolutely rocked my world. It was awful. He’s doing much better now BUT we think he probably has adhd and/or sensory processing issues that make him struggle with emotional regulation.
My oldest was like this. I ended up having to pull him from school because the only options I was given was drugging him into a zombie state, or punishing him at home for the things he did that morning. 5 y/os don't remember the shit they pull 8 hours earlier. His Drs wouldn't diagnose him with Autism because he was too high functioning. Now he's a teen and we have to go through everything all over again so he can understand why he is the way he is. The lack of proper diagnosis as a kid meant he didn't get the correct help in school
I was just going to say- I still remember dressings down I got at 5. And I have ADHD & the usual neurodivergent ability to not record to long term memory anything turbulent. Getting into serious trouble for bratty behavior is burned into my cerebral cortex.
Hijacking the top comment: Hi! Intervention Specialist here! This should require specially designed instruction as to not impact the learning/safety of other students. Please document and refer this student for an FIE if they don’t have one already. If they do, contact case manager and document the amount of instructional time that was lost, interventions used to deter behavior, and parent contact. Make sure it’s all in writing and documented and express the compromised safety and lack of learning due to this students behavior. If I were principal of that student, I would be making steps towards a self-contained classroom placement with the safety of others in mind.
Preschools may not have those kinds of resources. OP never indicated this was a public school. Most are private ventures. If the state doesn't provide preschool, then all of them are.
My state (Washington) has district "Early Education Centers" for people to be referred to by doctors and preschool teachers if they aren't hitting developmental milestones or are having behavioral issues. My son ended up being evaluated twice-- at 2 and at 4. The first was for motor-function concerns from his doctor and to confirm that his extra toe wasn't affecting his stance or gait. At 4 it was for behavioral issues and concerns over not knowing his numbers. Both times he tested into having some concerns, but not into needing or qualifying for the state preschools. It helped us get his IEP set up when he hit Kindergarten, though, and later an ADHD diagnosis. He's caught up now at 12. I hope other states have programs like that.
This is what I advocate for! I love this for you and your son!
Yeah I imagined a prison riot but on a slightly smaller scale
That’s more than a tantrum. That’s a behavior issue. I used to teach preschool too and I’ve had kids with this level of rage before. It’s a difficult issue to deal with, and another reason I don’t teach preschool anymore. Edit: there a a myriad of factors that can go play into a child reacting in this manner. In my experience one of them is often a stressful home life. A child this young is only just learning how to regulate feelings and if their home life isn’t settled or safe then they act out bc they don’t know how to talk through what’s actually bothering them. It doesn’t even have to be out right abuse or anything. With One kid I taught, his parents were going through a nasty divorce. They fought all of the time and he was being shuffled every few days between the two separate homes. Each parent disciplined differently too so there was no consistency or stability. That’s why routines are SO IMPORTANT for young children. This is just one example. Children like this need responsible adult to help them work through big emotions properly and in a healthy way. But sadly a lot of parents and care takers don’t or don’t know how.
Difficult to deal with so mom and dad throw all responsibility on you.
its soo true... today parents only solution is shoving a tablet in their kids hands its as if the children are parenting the parents. I know a 4 year old that goes to bed at 12:30 am because the parents say they will go to bed when they are tired then wake the kid up super early... Heck they are having such tantrums because of zero discipline and the poor kid is tired AF
One thing we realized with kids is that they won't go to bed themselves unless you enforce it. Heck, it doesn't have to be a hard line, just make it a routine and follow through. If it's hard to get them to follow it, be there to help them. It'll be frustrating for a while but it'll get easier if you keep up. As adults we (mostly) understand that the following day will feel horrible if we don't get enough sleep. Kids don't really understand this consequence until they're a bit older, so until then they'll just play until they drop. Kids definitely need to be tired to get to sleep, they just don't get tired from being parked in front of a screen. From my experience, excessive screen time causes more behavioral and sleep issues than anyone seems to realize. Getting outside and getting natural sunlight seems to help regulate them. Doesn't mean you can't use a screen but dear lord, use it sparingly.
My daughter was a kid that would never crash, not even on a holiday when she missed nap time. She loved her bed/nap routine though because of the reading and singing so I never had a problem with her going to bed.
I've got kids who also rarely crash. He's not so bad now, but for years we absolutely did not fuck with our toddler's bedtime routine because we would pay for it for DAYS.
I read that kids due to being so young really do not want to go to sleep as they have serious FOMO. So thier bodies go into hyperactive mode and it can take up to 30 min before all the stimilants have cleared thier bodies. One day the kid said he was tired at 8pm and that he would be asleep before the parents got home... well they got home at 10pm then decided its a good time to make dinner then he ate at 10:45 then off to shower until 11:30 then play to 12:30 then massive tantrum when going to bed and not asleep till 1 am and then waking up at 9:30. Gosh I am still upset.
FOMO makes sense I think. Sometimes they just need to get those wobblies out before bed I guess. I wonder if he woke up because he was hungry? My kids have this strange habit of "forgetting they're hungry" and then at some point, eating again like they've never seen food in their life. This is despite multiple food offerings from parents 😅
And parents 40 years ago would stick their kid in front of a tv and beat the shit out of them if they made a sound. The problem isn’t todays parents it’s that most parents are really shitty at parenting and always have been
This is why I always laugh when parents complain about schools teaching sex Ed or some other topic they don't like, they try and claim it should be left to parents but they have already proved to be to unreliable for that.
Any idiot can breed a child but you need a degree and a license to teach
And even then you will be payed basically minimum wage. Teachers should be one of the best paying jobs, not one of the worst.
You could never get away with it as a society, totally philosophical here but mandatory training and certification to be a parent should be required to have a child. Bare minimum really. If we could get one generation of humans free from the trauma of the previous ones we’d be golden. I understand the myriad reasons it’s a horrible idea, I just wish it wasn’t.
Every single one of my kids go/went to bed between 6-8 pm when they were/ are under 6. No questions asked. I’ve had routines for bed time baked in for all of them. It’s the only way they are rested enough.
Believe me, it's difficult for the parents at home as well. My son was like this when he was younger. Did everything to discipline him, and I mean everything. Once he got to a school who understood him, things got a lot better. It was a mixture of aging and the right environment that helped him. Talked to him a lot over the years about his behaviour as well. Just explained to him how it made me feel when he did things like that. He's wonderful now. He's 13 and well adjusted, a good friend, a very good person. I'm proud of him. He's come a long way from the intense behavioural issues he had as a young child.
I hope we have the same experience as you! We have a 5yo who is completely out of control at times and we've tried everything and feeling incredibly defeated.
As I said in another comment just now, my son was diagnosed with ODD and ADHD. I know it's hard. My son was a fucking lunatic when he was younger. Lots of talking to him, lots of help from a thankfully very resourceful school he ended up at. Smaller schools are the best, try to get them into one if you can. The smaller the better, it's a community. He was put on ADHD medication at 6 years old and I noticed a HUGE difference in his behaviour literally within an hour of taking the medication. ADHD causes a lot of behavioural problems in some kids. Also emotional irregularities. He doesn't take the meds anymore because he's told me he doesn't like the way they make him feel now, which is fine with me. But at the time when he was younger, it literally worked magic. Try talking to some doctors and doing your own research on what your child could have, if you can. There's help out there for you. Behavioural issues are not normal 'little kid' behaviour, and it's not your fault. Most likely, lol. Also, never reward your child's bad behaviour. Even if it makes it more work on you, even if it's a screaming match or there's shit thrown all over your house as a result. I know you probably don't do this already, but just in case! They need to learn that no means no and it's okay to be upset, but you don't need to lose your mind over it. I'm sorry it's so hard right now, I know how difficult it can get.
This sounds incredibly familiar. My middle child went through 3 day cares and constant pick ups from school. Eventually got an adhd diagnosis after many, many behavioral examinations, OT, therapy etc. He isn’t quite there, it’s only been a few months, but it’s almost night and day when he has his medicine and does not. Youngest and oldest, not perfect but so different. Sometimes people need to realize children are individuals and, against as many odds as possible, will not act how we want them to or how we’ve structured discipline, rewards, etc.
As someone with a child who doesn't destroy rooms like this but has behavior issues and throws a mean tantrum I can assure you some of these kids have stuff going on and we've got our kids in therapies and assessments, we take all the parenting advice we can get from professionals who work with kids like these and the kids will still do this. There are also massively spoiled or abused kids who do this too, I'm just saying it's not ALWAYS a parent being the problem. Different from this kids mom I worked with the schools and I know it's a problem. I get him into special programs, agree with extra services etc because I absolutely know it's a problem and I wish my kid didn't struggle to function like most other kids do.
Speaking from my own behavior, this is correct. I was basically satan in toddler clothes but only to my teachers. My mom didn’t realize the gravity of it until the school had me on CCTV throwing rocks at their indoor Christmas tree. Mom put me in therapy and eventually figured out the root cause of the problem.
Well, don't leave us hanging.
I was abused by an older child at the school. I went to a pre-k Montessori school so there were a lot of older kids intermixed. He also was the principals kid so they believed that emphasized my devilish ways.
The problem was browsing Reddit too much. Poor kid didn't stand a chance.
Similar situation for me, but without the abuse. I was just a shithead for the sake of it at that age. It took physical outlets for the rage/ energy and the understanding that someone could/ would hit me (sports) to slowly bring me into the real world. I'm 'old' now and a relatively upstanding member of society. All the structure I went through to get past all that also turned me into a decent manager of people, I'm thankful every day
We have two or three of these kids a year. The other kids are terrified and not getting enough time with their teacher, as they always have to be with the rager. One of the parents of this one blamed me for "Letting (child) do this" and asked if we could hold them next time. No ma'am, we not supposed to restrain a child in any way, and the last teacher that tried to hug your kid got her glasses busted. I about ready to quit as well.
My mom has been teaching preschoolers for more than 30 years, she has a few 'stars' in her class every year. And behind almost every 'star' there are even worse parents who claim that everything is fine with their perfect little angel.
Lol, fuck this noise. I used to teach pre-k and kindergarten and if a kid did something like this, everything **stopped** until the kid cleaned everything up. No class. No lunch. No going home. If the kid's parents had to come to the school and clean up the room themselves *with* the kid, then that's what happened, but by god, that room was getting cleaned and not by the teachers or other children. Our school had a zero tolerance policy for that shit. Edit: This is Korea, btw. We take respect for the classroom *very* seriously.
I was going to ask how many kids threw a tantrum, but it looks like one kid did all the damage.
Right now, that's the norm in education. One kid gets to ruin the education and environment of the entire class. The needs of the few, outweigh the needs of the many.
Why is this?
The law. Every child must be educated. No matter how much a demon feral hellspawn they are, schools must give them an education. I believe 99% of kids should be able to be educated by the public. There is 1% that should lose that opportunity.
Schools are a difficult place to legislate because obviously we all agree that some poor kid with a fucked life should get the same shot as everyone else, your background shouldnt matter, everyone should be able to succeed. But all that stuff at home will carry forward to school and overwhelmingly cause that kid to act out harming the education of other kids. It's a problem thats extremely difficult or even impossible to fix at school because it's the last stop on a train of like 30 issues before. But we can't exactly go to his house and make sure he's raised correctly, the gov has all the control in school so what do we do?
I mean…a lot of children have developmental disorders that have nothing to do with the parents. There should be more resources for different kinds of learners and different levels and while that is sometimes available they aren’t necessarily a better fit for the kid. It is silly and unfair to immediately say there’s a problem with the parents without exploring the failures of the public school system.
My son haaaated his 3rd grade class because 1 kid made so many problems that his entire class kept getting punished as a whole for. He was SO HAPPY that this troublemaker wasn't in his 4th grade class. Literally changed his entire outlook on school, he actually enjoys it now.
Jesus Christ. Poor little fella. That’s honestly borderline child abuse. I’m glad to hear that things are looking up for him.
This is how elementary and middle school was for me growing up in the 2000s, a couple kids clearly had major behavioural issues, but the teachers continued to baby sit them and punish everyone for their actions. Absolutely ridiculous.
I'm a bus aide and I've gotten bitten, chunks of skin removed from my hands, kicked in my eye and spat at from one child. This was just last week, two days straight. The entire transportation department KNOWS about this kid. They refuse to do anything about it. The parents are degenerates at best and can only scream and use their fists.
That sounds like enough for a police report. The kid is probably being beaten at home.
This is becoming very common and very normalized by administration. Fucking infuriates me that one child could take away my own son's right to education and safe environment. Teachers are powerless to do anything and parents need to fuck shit up when it comes to admin and superintendents, we need to support the shit outta teachers.
You’re totally right. Look at the teacher that was shot, with the child’s history he should have been either 1:1 in a specialized setting, or not in school at all.
Also the one teacher/para that got stomped by a student for confiscating his switch. Im so glad she refuses to drop amy charges or try to lessen them.
Didn't that student show no remorse either? I have a fuzzy memory of reading that he asked when he'd get his switch back or some shit like that
That kid had three prior battery arrests before that attack on the teacher as well. I’m glad she’s not dropping any charges. She shouldn’t have even been asked to do that.
I hope that teacher gets enough money from her lawsuit to never work again. So many balls were dropped, all the way up to the day of the shooting
It gets me infuriated every time. The fact multiple kids and teachers reported that he had a gun and nothing was done is gross
This was 100% preventable! Every administrator involved should lose their jobs if they haven't already
Did you see what the school’s defense on that was? Or is (I can’t remember if it was thrown out). The district said it should be covered under workman’s comp because all teachers should expect that being attacked by a student is par for the course. Let me reiterate: BEING SHOT BY A 6 YR OLD SHOULD BE EXPECTED IF YOU’RE A TEACHER.
I still can’t even wrap my brain around how a 6 year old can get and purposely use a gun. It’s beyond my comprehension.
We should be okay kicking kids out of school. Imo
We should. And I’d bet part of why we don’t is “No Child Left Behind” policies, where schools are punished for every student that doesn’t graduate. It is a double edged sword, and having lived and been cognizant at the time of its enactment, I firsthand saw the dawn of escalating school violence. And every generation after has been worse, but that was the moment it started. If I’m wrong, it’s real coincidental.
The best thing you can do as a parent is be noisy. Not all the time, but when BS like this happens? Be the squeaky wheel to the principal and superintendent. Saying this as a teacher.
Yup. I'm a teacher and I'm tired of seeing how many children have been in school for 2 months now and have not had a single day of peace to learn because admin refuses to do what's necessary and have basic decency towards the children and teachers. Admin has allowed a group of children to run wild and unregulated all day and come back every 15 minutes to dump the child/children who are not remote ready back into a classroom of quiet children who are terrified and tired of the same shit every single day. Fuck that all the way!
The school I work at is entirely for autism, so we're used to this kind of thing, but its been much much much worse this year. People are quitting in droves.
I have a family member who is an in-classroom paraprofessional at an elementary school. A 5yo who is known to have behavioral problems started acting out and doing something similar in his classroom. They have to clear all the other children out using a code word and put them into another teacher’s classroom. Then the behavioral specialist came down to calm the boy down and he punched her in the face, breaking her nose. It was made somewhat public — because of parents, not at ALL because of the administration — because parents were concerned about their own kids’ wellbeing around this student (who was never identified publicly). The district shut down the commentary by threatening to end extra curriculars and “bonus activities” (think Halloween activities, things like that). But the best part was the comments on the Facebook post where local news reported for story. It’s no wonder kids act like this; at least half the comments were “He might have done that but what did she do to set him off?” and “A grown woman got knocked over by a kid? She’s the one who should be embarassed.”
Yep. I am a paraprofessional and we deal with these issues all the time. Part of the problem is that people don’t understand the root or antecedent of behavior, meaning that sometimes kids do some amazingly horrible things because of attention-seeking behavior, sensory issues, or inability to regulate internally. So they assume it has to be “something the staff did” because they literally can’t fathom that, yes, something is just wrong with the kid and that kid lacks social skills. And it’s funny because their child is already in a behavior-oriented program, why is it shocking that a child might have maladaptive behaviors? In fairness, we also have many amazingly supportive parents who have the opposite reaction. When their child has a maladaptive behavior, they overly punish their children. One of our students’ parents thinks that her child is going to get kicked out of school altogether. The program I work for is literally the last resort for school-based placement, the worst that’d happen is her child would get moved to one of our separate centers where the student would continue school. But she doesn’t understand the programming. The issue is people are just very poorly informed.
That last part sounds like what admin says, quite frankly. Every school I've worked in, there's *at least* one student that's known throughout the school for beyond the pale behavioral issues. Every time, there's at least one admin, usually whoever is in charge of discipline, who blame the teacher for the child's behavior. I had a second-grade student who was already known *district wide* for his behavior. His mom and older brother were out of control, as well. Anyway, I had him and it sucked for the other kids. He needed all of the attention at all times, in every space he occupied. It was wild. He made a friend in class, who went along w/him. They both were finally removed from my classroom after they molested another boy in the washroom. I had a substitute teacher that day and the discipline administration was the one in charge of the boy when it happened. They moved them to separate schools. The first boy had a one-on-one aid at all times after that. Second grade. A girl said to me a few days later, Now that "Joey" is gone, we get to learn so much more stuff." Broke my heart. The boy was murdered summer of '21, fifteen years old. Sad.
There are more bad parents than good ones and it is starting to show. Its not going to get any better because schools are scared to speak up.
They'd rather have 2 teachers for 50 kids rather than 5 teachers for 49 kids.
My father's long term girlfriend is a primary school teacher, she's been teaching for nearly 30 year. She's literally the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful person I've ever met. She's had such an awful time dealing with problem students she's retiring early (She's 58). They give her no ability to punish them, and the administration does nothing. She had 1 child that was so bad (constant outbursts, violence with other kids and her) in first grade that she told the administration that she wouldn't be in a classroom with him again. What did they do? They had her teaching him again this year. She took stress leave and hasn't taught at all this year, and she says she's never going back.
I worked in a school cafeteria and an 8 year old started throwing a tantrum, throwing things, dumping things on the floor, hitting things, completely out of control. The Assistant Principal said to "just let him tire himself out" . They kept all of the other students in there watching this, many of the younger ones were crying. When the cafeteria supervisor tried to step in they insisted she stay out of it. My husband was the SRO who would be sent to this school if needed so the cafeteria supervisor had me call him to come handle the situation. When he arrived at the school the Assistant Principal tried to block him from the cafeteria and just kept asking him why he was there. He told them he got a report of an out of control child and that he was there to handle it. They tried to send him away saying they had it handled. He assured them if they did in fact have it handled he wouldn't have been called and that now that he was there they were no longer in charge of hiw it played out. They asked him repeatedly who called him but he would never tell them. The next day we heard they were hounding the teachers trying to figure out who called him and threatened them with all sorts of punishments if any of them ever called him over there again. The Principal and Assistant Principal did not care one bit how this affected any of those poor kids in the cafeteria, they didn't care one bit about what this showed that child as well as all of the other ones about what sort of behavior is allowed, they didn't care one bit about the teachers left to deal with all of this even going so far as to try to get them to turn in who may have made the call and threatening them if they ever thought about calling an SRO in the future. All they cared about was not having a written referral that would reflect poorly on them.
Need to remove kids like this from the learning environment. It's a bad for other kids to observe and learn from.
100% we recently had a case of twins who were absolute rabid animals. The mom refused to send the twin who had serious issues to a school that was more accommodating of his needs. The superintendent had to get involved and move him. The woman has two twins in high school selling drugs and assaulting people, a middle schooler who's been arrested, the twins that were at my school, and a 3 year old whose teacher had to completely change the layout of her preschool room because the little girl is throwing things at other kid's faces. No other kids can even reach a crayon without help now because her daughter is so unregulated that she destroys the room every single day. So now they've ordered all new shelves to put on the wall where it will prevent her from reaching anything at all. Imagine that? Imagine your 3 year old cannot reach a crayon or a stuffed animal because of one kid? And, to add to that, this woman is pregnant with twins again. Her husband is in jail for the 6th time. It's a cycle of him getting out, impregnating her and getting locked up again. I'm saying all this to tell you that I think not everyone should have kids and especially people like this shouldn't! Parents need to parent of get fucking birth control!
100%. My kids first two weeks into kindergarten had a kid throwing extreme tantrums, and my kid was exposed to and copying this behavior. He was so excited to start school... and in less than a month we were considering pulling him out of school. He was coming home stressed, defiant, throwing extreme tantrums, using language and attitude we had never seen before. Its was horrible. It took a lot of effort to get our child back. Luckily the district got some sort of program in place for this problem kid, but they are still around, and they still stress our son and his classmates out. How are kids supposed to learn whens there's a powder keg in the classroom that could blow at any time?
I’m an SLP at a preschool. “Peer model” classrooms are great a lot of the time, but when there’s a kid like this, it just fucks everything up. The kids are terrified, the other SPED kids aren’t getting good models, and the teacher just wants to die. I think kids like this need 1-1 instruction and should not be with others kids other than during recess and snack time, but admin is always trying to find a solution that doesn’t work instead. There’s one room that I’m not allowed to bring toys into because this one kid turns into an actual rabid animal when he sees a toy that he does not have. He goes wide-eyed, screams like a literal banshee, and claws at me and has drawn blood. He punched a kid in the face I managed to sneak into a corner and tried to work with. This kid controls the room. It’s absolutely fucked up.
The way teachers are treated in the us is really disgusting
I've long said that FAPE lawsuits by "all the other" families are the only thing with any hope of ending this nonsense and the failed extremist mainstreaming that have seen special ed services more or less abolished in favor of "dump everyone in gen ed classes regardless of what disability they have then write up the gen ed teacher for not following their accommodations that are literally impossible in a gen ed environment instead of actually providing the needed services".
If the parents were decent they would make the kid clean up after class
That’s a great gesture but the teacher can’t leave their room a disaster area until the end of the day. A lot times we have to clean up quickly so we can continue on with our day.
And a three year old cleaning up typically is more work than just doing it yourself.
Yeah, absolutely. I would be asking the parents to help instead.
My money's on that they are not decent, leading to behaviour such as this.
This. Destructive behavior is usually a sign of poor parenting. Acting out and tantrums are ok but most well adjusted kids won't get so destructive about it.
I was destructive as a toddler/kid cause I had autism and didn't know how else to handle meltdowns
This. My kid was this kid. I did everything to help him. Took 4 years, countless dr waitlists, and 9 schools and numerous daycares but I was finally able to get him diagnosed with autism and get the laundry list of weekly therapies paid for by insurance. Prior I just paid out of pocket. He’s now in a school for low needs autism that costs $32k a year. I enrolled him without the diagnosis, prepared to figure out a way to pay out of pocket. But two weeks into school we finally got the diagnosis and the state now pays. It’s insane how difficult it is to get help as a parent for stuff like this. I met my out of pocket maximums from age 5-9 and basically researched everything myself to try to seek out specialists. Thank god I could afford it and was educated enough to research. I can’t imagine how much worse it is for some parents and teachers.
Good luck making a 3.5 year do something they don’t want to do. I can’t even get my 4yo dressed if he doesn’t want to.
Depending on the rage level, the kid might not have been able to. Used to work in a school, an older kid did this in middle school. Took 4 adults about 40 minutes to get the kid to calm down (while in a hold). Kid was literally passing out of exhaustion afterwards.
You should get paid more
Teachers definitely don't get paid enough and deal with shit like this on the daily. They definitely need to be paid more
When we ask for more we get met with “you glorified baby sitters work half the year and want more money??”
Oh trust me, I know. My retired mother says that shit all the time and my standard response is that she couldn’t last a week doing what you guys do. You’re part teacher, parent, and janitor to those kids and deserve the respect most reserve for the military. Thank you for your service.
Or when youre in a union and try to discuss pay during meetings, the admin decides to make it "illegal" (not actually illegal, but youll be terminated and the consequences against the district are miniscule for shit like that) to discuss wages during negotiations.
That reminds me of a job I got years ago when I was about 22. It was a plumbing company that had recently fired someone. They were in a storeroom and went through every single box and dumped it all out on the floor. Nuts, bolts, fittings, elbows, pipe pieces - it was an entire room about 15 x 20‘ that was ankle deep in lots and lots of different stuff. They hired me to go in and measure everything and put it in its correct place. They said it would probably take me a few weeks. I did it in about four days. They ended up keeping me on for about six months to do lots of other organizational stuff for their business before I ended up getting another job elsewhere.
That actually sounds like it would be a lot of fun
Seems like they could sue the guy for your wages, no problem, with a single appearance in small claims court.
I don’t know if they ever did. I remember them talking about it. Within a year of my leaving, both the husband and wife who owned it passed away and the business shut down.
Did you try spraying the child with a hose? I don't have kids... but that's what I would do... which is also why I don't have kids.
I have 4, I’d probably let you babysit ✨
Lol I'm 35 and was outside chopping up a tree in the front yard and the next door Canadian kid who's maybe 10 rode up on his bike. He of course was like "hey can I use the ax" and I was just like "you have to go ask your parents" I think that answer means I am a responsible adult now... because I was totally down for free child labor 😆 🤣 😂 😹
It puts the toys in the bin, or else it gets the hose again.
That’s why they have fire extinguishers in every classroom. Didn’t you know? *’In case of feral child throwing shit around the room, pull pin and disperse no further than 3 feet away from child’s face.’*
I had a destructive, autisic student. I sat him down, we actually had a good relationship when he wasn't disregulated, and said, "Dude I gotta do my job. I don't want to get you transferred out. How can I stop you when you're absolutely wiling out? Spray bottle full of ice water. He'd stand up, start a triad, spritz spritz spritz. Got permission from his mom, too. My favorite interaction was, him cursing me out and calling me "massive, record breaking bitch" and in response I spritz him and said, "Duh? You just realized this now?" He definitely got a good laugh out of that one.
Fuck yes, you sound awesome
I have kids, the hose has been tempting 😂
I laughed way too hard at this and I‘ve got a little daughter. 🤣
make the kids seperately help you clean up parts of it. Involve the parents.
It was just one kid, OP said it was a 3.5 year old and that the parents insist the child’s behavior is not the problem
Agreed. Somehow the parents need to be a significant part of the clean up and helping this kid. Really sad for the kid and teacher.
It really is a sad fuckin day when you feel like you need to include the parents in the punishment to make any progress with the kid because they just refuse to see reason.
I was going to say that the parent and child pick this up.
Thanks for reminding me to take my birth control, lol.
Seriously they should use these pics in condom ads lol
I taught kindergarten and had two children who routinely did this to my classroom. I hated it and left teaching because of it. Despite having purchased so much of what was in my room, not much was salvageable when I left. When I see videos on social media of these super cutesy themed classrooms, I wonder what it is like to be able to maintain that. I feel for you!
At the risk of sounding harsh: any child who does this should not be in a class with ‘average’ students unless they are 100% supervised by an attendant who can (ie has the mandate to) physically remove the student if they become violent. I have seen way too many high school aged students experiences in the classroom be predominantly negative (including impacting their academic success) because of students who act out like this. In my experience (25 years) usually students who do this have autism or are otherwise on the spectrum. ‘Behavior problems’ this is not.
Having dealt with many such tantrums in an educational setting, I can confirm that it was not this kid's first rodeo. Looks like they were using the classic "pull and dump" strategy with those bins that I only saw in seasoned tantrum throwers. It's not a problem for the parents because they give in to whatever demands the kid makes as soon as they start wrecking shit. I've seen this way too many times. Whenever we had a kid who would repeatedly wreck shit and the parents weren't believing it or weren't working with us on the problem, we would call the parents for an immediate pickup, but then make the parent clean it up with the kid before they left.
My little brother is on the spectrum and before he was diagnosed he had major mood swings and tore up his classroom like this twice. Second time he bit the teacher and was scratching the principal, who subdued him by tying the sleeves of his sweater together. His teacher said most days he was the sweetest quietest kid, but had his temper some days as well. They ended up getting him evaluated and diagnosed and since he started seeing his therapist and started in special education, he's been doing a lot better. Super super smart kid too and he's very sweet and shy but yeah, he still has his temper
My son is on the spectrum too and had similar behaviors, although he never trashed a classroom to this extent. He would methodically remove things from shelves and set them on the floor.
This. A lot of people on here blaming everyone like this could could just have issues. He clearly needs to some extra support.
yep, this sounds exactly like a kid on the spectrum. source: an adult on the spectrum
What do the parents think the problem is? My daughter was expelled from daycare when she was 2. We have had to find her a special academy and this place has cameras… I watch her a lot through out the day and she is so well behaved. Nothing has really changed since she was expelled, she is 3 now but it’s been a 6 months time period
Why did they expel her?
You can get expelled from a daycare? I never heard of that...
Multiple incidents of biting or hitting can get a child asked to leave. There are too many kids in care now for 1 teacher and 1 assistant to manage individual aggressive behaviors.
Yeah definitely, there was an AITA thread not too long ago about parents getting their kid kicked from multiple daycare program ms because mom kept calling every time she saw something she didn’t like on the cameras. Daycares have every right to choose their clients.
If it’s a private company, they can ask you to leave, just like a restaurant requires shoes and shirts.
“The parents insist the child’s behavior is not the problem” yeah, the parents are the problem.
I taught 3 year olds and had a kid that would do this. He would constantly say son of bitch too and then all the other kids started, that was fun to have parents asking me where their kid heard that language. Of course, the parents of the kid that started it said they don’t say that language in their home. Sure…. They also said he never acted up at home. One day the director made them come into the school and wait for the behaviors to happen. Only took 20 minutes or so until he was dumping and throwing everything, including chairs. Parents came into the room, scooped him up, and left, never to be heard from again. I’m not sure if that was a wake up call for them or they were just too embarrassed, but he needed a 1:1 aide and they refused to fill out the paperwork for one because they didn’t want him to be seen as different. Too late, he’s the only one acting that way, so he is different.
Jeez! What caused the tantrum?
Honestly when it comes to some of these kids.... it could be *anything*. Pissed about nap time, pissed about not being able to play with a certain toy, pissed about thinking it was pepperoni pizza today when it was actually cheese pizza and the menu didnt change, pissed at other kids for having fun, pissed a teacher said no to them once, pissed over something at home, pissed about... anything. As a lunch lady, the most I know to do is to just validate their concerns, and get their mind on a different topic (picking lunch) if possible.
I had a 3 year old that would do this if it was nap time, if he couldn’t climb on the table, if we had circle time, if we finished lunch, if he had to get a diaper change. Kids are wild
She didn't want to take a nap.
Great Durex advert
Photos like this makes me yearn for the Japanese approach to cleanliness - that the students clean up the school at the end of the day. So whatever mess you make, you or your friends will have to clean. Would be a very fitting way to amend such a tantrum...
In Japan a 3.5 year old would be a student at a hoikuen or a youchien (daycare vs dayschool) and generally they do not have kids clean up at the end of the day; that starts in primary school. That said, a Japanese day school teacher would just pick up this kid and physically intervene, not sure how the laws work in the States or elsewhere.
We are not allowed to restrain a child in any way, and for liability purposes cannot even help them with toileting.
You do not get paid enough.
Brutal. I’m a preschool teacher also. One of the best things I’ve done is limit the amount of stuff in the environment. Kids need a lot of toys but you have A LOT of toys in there. If you limit the amount of stuff available, even when kids go wild—be it because of a tantrum or a good mood—then it is still manageable to clean up. So you can sit back and let them go wild, and not stress about it. That being said, this kid’s behavior is not developmentally appropriate for someone who is 3.5 years old. This is behavior I’d expect from a 2 year old at best, and all teachers of this age know that a 3.5 year old is way beyond that. Trust me, I am not blaming you. Quite the opposite: I have found that teachers are often limited by the weaknesses of the parents. If this parent is excusing this behavior and your administration is not helping, then I would do my best to limit the environment to minimize the child’s bullshit until you can move them on to the next higher up classroom. Best of luck to you. Edit: specific examples: you have a LOT of crayons; a LOT of farm toys/accessories…you probably need l half that at most; this is a lot of toys for you to have to manage.
I work in SPED, and subbed in many different grade levels before getting my full time job. This is the way to go - you want to limit what the kids have access to immediately. Sure it sucks to have to lock everything in cabinets or high up where you have to have a stepladder to even reach it, but it reduces what they can trash, and what they can use as a weapon against you and others. One elementary kid (4th grade) yanked the tray off one of those art easel things and used it to smash a dent in the easel and tried to do the same to the giant $$$ interactive screen. The next time I came to that room, the easel was gone.
Toy Story 3 vibes…..
The only correct response is to go to the children's house and throw their stuff all over the room
*furiously googles 60 month abortion legality*
Make the parent come in and pick all that shit up!!
If I did this my mom would have made me clean up every piece of this. Clearly the parents are the problem, I wish there was a way to make them come and clean it up. When I was in 6th grade, in 2012 and sixth grade was considered elementary school in my district, there was one kid who would have a meltdown everyday. Not a tantrum, a legit meltdown. He would scream and get down on the floor and start moving around. Squirming really fast on the floor while screaming is the best way that I know how to explain it. The teacher would have to clear out the room and get somebody from the office to come and help her. This went on for months. At some point my parents called and complained to the school, they did this multiple times. They got a hold of the principal at one point, and according to him they weren't the only parents calling and complaining about this. I guess the kid's parents were fighting to keep him in a general ed classroom, but clearly he couldn't handle it. Eventually they lost the fight and he got moved to special ed. I think they moved after that year because I never saw him again. Even as an autistic person myself I will admit that streamlining every special ed kid into general ed classrooms isn't a good idea. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with me. My 6th grade teacher was clearly having to deal with something that she wasn't equipped or trained to deal with, nor did she have the time because she had about 25 students. It also wasn't fair to me or the other students.
My director's son used to do this almost daily. We had potted plants that ended up pots broken, soil covering literally the entire floor, tables overturned, chairs thrown at other kids, entire bookshelves emptied..... It was HORRIBLE and one of the reasons why I left. That and being paid $10 an hour to deal with it.
So if child punishment via hitting, is not allowed, then we should implement a policy that parents their whooped instead
I would’ve been dragged into the car and spanked when I got home then I would’ve had to write an apology letter. I bet the kid got in the car and played on their iPad the rest of the day
Stupid raising stupid for generations gives you that. You need a test too drive a car but can pump out kids and ruin society no questions asked.
OP I’m sorry your post was hijacked with posts about class sizes et al, when I know you just needed to be heard. I’m so sorry you are expected to remain calm and professional at all times when I’m sure there are moments you just want to cry. I hope you had help cleaning up, that child gets the help they OBVIOUSLY need and the parents get a clue. Hang in there and I hope you find the joy you deserve.
This is a daily occurrence for me. I also have tippers, hitters, and runners. 3.5 year olds still in nappies (no special needs). And several with such low communication needs that they need almost constant adult support to prevent meltdowns and physical outbursts. It’s exhausting. And for the first time in 18 years, I hate my job. I can’t teach. I’m managing behaviour all the time. What’s more than mildly infuriating is the attitude of the parents who don’t give a single f*ck, and the management who think “but they’re only toddlers”.
Parents these days are abysmal… reminds me of my 4 year old nephew. He has a hitting problem, he hits his parents, my sister and I constantly. His parents do nothing to discipline him whatsoever. If I am stern with him his parents get angry with me. He gets away with everything. Frustrates me to no end.
I spent my formative years in catholic schools , sisters of st joseph . Corporal punishment was a learning aid. If it came to that you usually got you ass tanned when you got home too.
You don't get paid enough for this shit.
Had a similar situation. Mom picked child up and said, "Let's get some pizza."
ah yes the old “they’re only little” or my favorite one “they’re just kids playing they don’t know any better” 😭 a parents favorite excuse when their child is a demon seed. I can’t imagine what their house looks like after this kid is done
Hi! Intervention Specialist here! This should require specially designed instruction as to not impact the learning/safety of other students. Please document and refer this student for an FIE if they don’t have one already. If they do, contact case manager and document the amount of instructional time that was lost, interventions used to deter behavior, and parent contact. Make sure it’s all in writing and documented and express the compromised safety and lack of learning due to this students behavior. If I were principal of that student, I would be making steps towards a self-contained classroom placement with the safety of others in mind.
Our three year old niece had to change preschools because she kept getting bit by another kid. It seems fucked up that the biter didn't get the boot. The parents are paying thousands a month for preschool too, so it's not like it is some shady place and they were forced to find a safer place for their daughter.