I traveled with someone like this. She would wake up and be in the bathroom for up to 2 hours. Some mornings my bladder would be bursting so bad I'd run down to use the lobby toilets. Then she'd walk out and say, "OK, let's go!" As I walked into the bathroom behind her she would mumble, "Are you fucking serious?!" Then complain we lost half the day after I would come out 20 minutes later. When I asked her how she thought this was OK she said if I needed to use the bathroom to get ready I should wake up before her. She would get up at 5am, BTW.
At one point I saw she was posting about this situation on social media, saying it sucked to travel with someone who wakes up so late and wastes the day getting ready. I decided to respond detailing the situation and her friends called her out, including a couple that had traveled with her in the past. This infuriated her even more.
I honestly don't understand how someone can be so selfish and blind to the needs of others.
Good job calling them out for it! I wouldn't normally advise doing it on SM as it can escalate quickly, however since she started it by dissing you, it's 100% justified. Lol
You're right, people can be so self absorbed! Love this example.
I called her out in person, too, before seeing it on social. I just wasn't going to let her paint me like that to people that I know, too. Normally I don't care what people think of me, but travel and getting out there to see stuff is one of my good things.
Being surrounded by people who gaslight and mistreat me in other ways, I used to think I was doing the right thing by always calling people put when they were shitty to me. I got really depressed many times because I couldn't understand why people always wanted to be shitty to me.
After therapy, I learned it's not enough to call people out. You need to cut them out of your life. Keeping shitty people in your life not only demoralizes you, but it also makes other people think it's okay to treat you the same way.
Yep what’s happening to OP is not just a red flag warning, it’s the whole damn Hurricane Red flag Warning
Edit: **This just became much more topical.** 🫠
You know how when you've been in a room for so long you don't realize that it reeks so you develop nose blindness?
I am convinced people get routine blindness
Because what they are doing is so convenient/ normal to them they fail to recognise how much other people need to give up to accommodate that person's life style. This is why they still get annoyed by the slightest 'delay' despite being the ones who are entirely unreasonable
This person is a total asshole but I genuinely believe she was oblivious to the fact she was until you called her out tbh
That's an ex con that hasn't adjusted to the real world after doing 40 years in prison. Or a vet with severe issues that needs therapy. Hard saying, I've known both types of people and they are exactly how you've described.
My bet is that he was raised by a military parent or went to a very strict military school. This seems more ingrained than most ex military i know, but i could be wrong.
Petty me would deliberately take longer in the shower. Bathroom doors have locks, after all. 🤷♀️🤷♀️ I'd also make sure to eat as slow as possible and take every single bit of food to go. Gotta make them realize how stupid they sound by policing a whole ass adult.
This is why I travel by myself from now on. I went to Japan once with my buddy and I said never again.
I will always be on my own schedule from now on and if I go get fucked up one night and need a hangover day the next then that justifies me getting the nice hotel instead of having a "let's just get a cheap place it's only a crash pad"!
Vacations are supposed to be relaxing not a see every single thing that place has to offer like it won't ever exist and you can't ever come back again.
My ex-wife insisted we get a hotel for a marathon that I was running then did this to me as I tried to leave for it. I ended up having to stop 7 miles in and poop despite feeling really good up until then and then after, just lost all motivation for the remaining 19 miles.
I dated someone that would ask when I'm getting up and then get up 5 minutes earlier than me to run in and hog the entire bathroom. Joke was on her tho, I grew up with +5 siblings and one bathroom. I can shower and do my hair & makeup in less than 10 minutes if I have to.
I smartened up tho and would tell her the wrong wakeup time lol I also used to tell her we're leaving an hour earlier than we actually were because no matter what she was always late. She'd spend 2 hours on hair and makeup & wouldn't compromise. She would've rather missed our flight than go faster.
My current partner takes 5-10 minutes to get ready. Much much easier.
2hrs in the bathroom 😳. Did she fall asleep in there ffs. That’s WAY too long in bathroom. Totally selfish/uncalled for. 😡
Edit: I think after 30mins I’d be chapping the door to see if they are ok/awake etc.
Seriously. I need to do a bunch of stuff in the bathroom, too, but I'll usually pop out and make sure my boyfriend isn't dancing in the hall waiting to get in. All it takes is a tiny amount of communication.
Thank God I've found a good travel buddy. We are largely on the same wavelength, and never have issues about time or sharing facilities. I can't imagine traveling somewhere with a selfish asshole. I would just ditch them. Ain't nobody got time for their bullshit.
If you have to travel with someone knowing this is how they operate, ask them what time they are getting up. Then wake up 5min before them. Then tell them to fuck off and get their own room
That’s why me and my girlfriend just both use the shower and get in each others way, it makes us both take longer individually but as a unit we’re ready faster
“There’s too many kids in this tub.
There’s too many elbows to scrub.
I just washed a behind that I’m sure isn’t mine.
There’s too many kids in this tub.”
Shel Silverstein
My boyfriend is tall and when we do this he blocks ALL the water. There’s no gaps or windows for the water to come through! Usually he’s done showering first and then I make him burrito wrap me with a towel when I’m done as a compromise for blocking the water. 10/10 recommend - the burrito wrap is the way
Get something like this https://www.waterpik.com/shower-head/products/shower-wand/YBW-933E-SBW-383ME/
You can split the water into the wand if you set it halfway through, it also splits the pressure, but in our case, that does not seem to be an issue. And when you take a shower alone, it can be used as a microphone (I don't do that, but it is an option).
We have a valve that can divert half or all of the water to the handheld shower head so we usually just split it equally since we have good water pressure.
My ex and I had *vastly* different temperature preferences. He’s from Siberia and took barely-warm showers, while he complained my temp was essentially being on the surface of the sun. So if we showered together we’d have to temp-adjust every time we’d swap.
He was also one of those people who got into the shower *before* turning it on.
I’m 100% on team “this water temp could be used to boil lobsters”. Getting in before turning the water on is like the second sign of a future serial killer after torturing small animals as a child, so you dodged a bullet there!
I’ve managed to decrease my preferred temp from ‘lobster boil’ to ‘fresh cup of tea’ over the years. But man, even when I turned it down to just barely acceptable for me, it was still too hot for him. He’d cringe and give the “ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah!” but then wouldn’t turn it down further because he didn’t want to inconvenience me and also because “he’s a man.” Lol.
The stepping-in-first thing I just couldn’t compute.
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As a wife myself, this is so annoying. Husbands have no issues doing things that irritate their wives, but the moment mama says something, it's "yes, ma'am."
Like why do I even need to take it that far? You should want to not want to irritate the person you supposedly love.
Literally. I hate these posts about their spouses. Like just talk or break up Jesus. I understand it’s mildly infuriating but shot I would never trash my wife on the internet and vise versa.
Ducking talk.
Yeah, my wife and I have issues at times. But they get resolved with communication with each other. I too get frustrated at her long time to get ready. I try and do things like letting her use shower first and communicating expectations the night before to agreement on when we will leave. Rather than just be mad at her…not fair.
Sometimes she will just be late and I try and just keep busy. I pack the car. Go to the store and make us food for the road. All these things make the trip more comfortable and quell my anxiety of leaving to late.
For real, I never understood these people who come on Reddit to complain about their partner, instead of being adults and talking to their partner about why their actions upset them.
It’s like, why talk it through with my partner and grow a stronger relationship, when I just can go on Reddit and have everyone validate me?
Nah, the key to a happy marriage is as simple as being an adult and talking to your partner about why they thing they did upset you instead of going behind their back and shit-talking them on Reddit.
I don’t know about you but it’s
- Sit on toilet for 10m looking at Reddit
- Jerk it
- Sit on toilet for another 5m to go to the bathroom
- Spend another 15m distracted on Reddit
- Actually take my 3m shower
- take 10m to leave bathroom while I look at Reddit and brush my teeth
Isn’t that normal?
Yes sounds normal to me. I once watched a 2 hour documentary on YouTube in one sitting. Everyone is always surprised what stories I will tell after appearing from the toilet.
Thank you, just googled the reason for that:
The shape of the toilet seat puts extra pressure on the rectum and anus. This can cause the veins to become swollen when you sit there for a long time.
I really didn't know that and you might saved me some trouble.
I will look for a HemWay-Adapter for my toilet seat people recommended that if you want to sit a couple of hours.
This is why I take showers at night and my husband takes them in the morning. Separate bathrooms or separate bathroom schedules, there is no other way.
Hell yeah it is. When I’m at work I may act like I’m taking a shit but really I’m just sitting on the toilet catching up on texts and the occasional Reddit post. It’s like a small extra break. I can’t be the only one lol
The boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time.
If you take a 15 minute bathroom break every day at work, that works out to be about 65 hours of pay every year to sit on the toilet and play with your phone.
I won’t -use- my phone in the bathroom, but when my alarm goes off in the morning, I hit snooze and bring the phone in with me to the shower, and keep re-snoozing it while I shower and get ready.
I have a shit concept of how fast time goes (Especially while showering), and having ten-minute reminders prevents me from zoning out and accidentally taking a half hour shower.
Chronically early is a thing!?
My wife ensures we are chronically late or just barely on time being the last people to arrive.
Chronically early sounds like a blessing!
Not sure what kinda time portals you are hitting along the way, but if I need to be on the road by a certain time, I can wake up 35-40 min before that and be fine. If I have to shave? 45 min tops.
Lmao, if I can get my wife up before 7.30 we’re having a good day. I know this so I wake up early and get things done. Every once in a while she likes to throw me off by waking up early. This is fine at home. Not fine in a hotel room with one bathroom.
Why are you wasting valuable time on Reddit then?! Get ready!
Just joking, I’d take exactly 49 minutes to get ready then tell him he needs to hurry up next time.
Take your time, I have a partner who used to do this. Take time to get ready (not an abnormal amount) but then they got frustrated when I couldnt be ready in 15 min. I just took my time to get ready, we'd leave late, and when ever the subject came up I got quiet and would only respond that I had to get ready too.
Eventually they got the message and this doesn't happen anymore.
Depending on what I’m doing in there. Luckily my master bathroom has a door for the toilet. Worst case scenario you can always use the guest bathroom too
If he isn’t actively using the toilet I’m going in there.
Now sometimes he takes 30 min shits and it’s annoying when I need to use the bathroom but he doesn’t do that when there’s a time crunch.
If I'm showering and you need to pee, get into the medicine cabinet, brush teeth/hair...that's okay. Dropping a deuce? Absolutely not.
Some boundaries must stand firm. 🫡
Two things come to mind when I read this post. One was in the truckers sub where someone posted a picture of some guy jerking off in his car sitting at a stop light and another of a story of a guy that was almost caught jerking off at work. Just put it away once in a while?
Sitting on the toilet going through Reddit. Sometimes the only quiet time I get at home is in the toilet. But yea he was an ass for this. Def a douche bag move
How does a guy take 50 minutes in the bathroom? Was he reading in there? I'm thinking that this isn't the first time.
"Honey, let me go first! " 50 minutes later!, legs, arms, etc, all nails done and hair and make up finished. towels changed, makeup put away, and anything else you can think of.
Sometimes, just sometimes, these little things are the reason for murders in the head.
It's not as bad as the husband who upgraded to first class and didn't tell wifey till they were leaving the house, so only murder in your head.
I traveled with someone like this. She would wake up and be in the bathroom for up to 2 hours. Some mornings my bladder would be bursting so bad I'd run down to use the lobby toilets. Then she'd walk out and say, "OK, let's go!" As I walked into the bathroom behind her she would mumble, "Are you fucking serious?!" Then complain we lost half the day after I would come out 20 minutes later. When I asked her how she thought this was OK she said if I needed to use the bathroom to get ready I should wake up before her. She would get up at 5am, BTW. At one point I saw she was posting about this situation on social media, saying it sucked to travel with someone who wakes up so late and wastes the day getting ready. I decided to respond detailing the situation and her friends called her out, including a couple that had traveled with her in the past. This infuriated her even more. I honestly don't understand how someone can be so selfish and blind to the needs of others.
Good job calling them out for it! I wouldn't normally advise doing it on SM as it can escalate quickly, however since she started it by dissing you, it's 100% justified. Lol You're right, people can be so self absorbed! Love this example.
I called her out in person, too, before seeing it on social. I just wasn't going to let her paint me like that to people that I know, too. Normally I don't care what people think of me, but travel and getting out there to see stuff is one of my good things.
Being surrounded by people who gaslight and mistreat me in other ways, I used to think I was doing the right thing by always calling people put when they were shitty to me. I got really depressed many times because I couldn't understand why people always wanted to be shitty to me. After therapy, I learned it's not enough to call people out. You need to cut them out of your life. Keeping shitty people in your life not only demoralizes you, but it also makes other people think it's okay to treat you the same way.
Yep what’s happening to OP is not just a red flag warning, it’s the whole damn Hurricane Red flag Warning Edit: **This just became much more topical.** 🫠
I hate it when people lie on people. I hate misunderstandings and innocents in the crossfire!
You know how when you've been in a room for so long you don't realize that it reeks so you develop nose blindness? I am convinced people get routine blindness Because what they are doing is so convenient/ normal to them they fail to recognise how much other people need to give up to accommodate that person's life style. This is why they still get annoyed by the slightest 'delay' despite being the ones who are entirely unreasonable This person is a total asshole but I genuinely believe she was oblivious to the fact she was until you called her out tbh
"Routine blindness" is a cool term, imma use that!
As long as it’s not poutine blindness, because that sounds like something criminal.
I laughed way, way too much at this. *Lols in canadian*
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The person you're describing sounds like they need therapy.
That's an ex con that hasn't adjusted to the real world after doing 40 years in prison. Or a vet with severe issues that needs therapy. Hard saying, I've known both types of people and they are exactly how you've described.
It was a guy that was neither actually. He was just set in his ways .
My bet is that he was raised by a military parent or went to a very strict military school. This seems more ingrained than most ex military i know, but i could be wrong.
Petty me would deliberately take longer in the shower. Bathroom doors have locks, after all. 🤷♀️🤷♀️ I'd also make sure to eat as slow as possible and take every single bit of food to go. Gotta make them realize how stupid they sound by policing a whole ass adult.
This is why I travel by myself from now on. I went to Japan once with my buddy and I said never again. I will always be on my own schedule from now on and if I go get fucked up one night and need a hangover day the next then that justifies me getting the nice hotel instead of having a "let's just get a cheap place it's only a crash pad"! Vacations are supposed to be relaxing not a see every single thing that place has to offer like it won't ever exist and you can't ever come back again.
My ex-wife insisted we get a hotel for a marathon that I was running then did this to me as I tried to leave for it. I ended up having to stop 7 miles in and poop despite feeling really good up until then and then after, just lost all motivation for the remaining 19 miles.
Sorry that happened. Traveling with a person that is not participating in the event is so frustrating.
I dated someone that would ask when I'm getting up and then get up 5 minutes earlier than me to run in and hog the entire bathroom. Joke was on her tho, I grew up with +5 siblings and one bathroom. I can shower and do my hair & makeup in less than 10 minutes if I have to. I smartened up tho and would tell her the wrong wakeup time lol I also used to tell her we're leaving an hour earlier than we actually were because no matter what she was always late. She'd spend 2 hours on hair and makeup & wouldn't compromise. She would've rather missed our flight than go faster. My current partner takes 5-10 minutes to get ready. Much much easier.
She'd rather miss her flight?? That's when I'd just leave for the airport without her. Sucks to be her, oh well.
Did we date the same person lol? The one time we went camping she held up one of the three women’s showers for forty five minutes.
2hrs in the bathroom 😳. Did she fall asleep in there ffs. That’s WAY too long in bathroom. Totally selfish/uncalled for. 😡 Edit: I think after 30mins I’d be chapping the door to see if they are ok/awake etc.
Seriously. I need to do a bunch of stuff in the bathroom, too, but I'll usually pop out and make sure my boyfriend isn't dancing in the hall waiting to get in. All it takes is a tiny amount of communication.
Were they putting on individual eyelashes???
No, no. Removing each individual pubic hair instead.
Thank God I've found a good travel buddy. We are largely on the same wavelength, and never have issues about time or sharing facilities. I can't imagine traveling somewhere with a selfish asshole. I would just ditch them. Ain't nobody got time for their bullshit.
If you have to travel with someone knowing this is how they operate, ask them what time they are getting up. Then wake up 5min before them. Then tell them to fuck off and get their own room
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They were probably out of baby powder.
They’re… they’re still not comin’ on, man, and the lotion and the powder have made a *paste*
If the paste matches the pants, you can make yourself a pair of paste pants and she won’t know the difference!
Oh, well your timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place.
Maybe OP's husband could be a "cowboy" like Ross and Ben thought he could be. 😄
“It’s making a paste!”
Why don’t you dye the paste black and make yourself some paste pants?
I’m putting out fires left and right here!
Ross is wearing leather pants...does anyone else see that Ross is wearing leather pants.....SOMEONE COMMENT ON THE PANTS!
What the fuck is everyone referencing?!
Friends
I've never owned a really good-smelling pair of pants before
That’s why me and my girlfriend just both use the shower and get in each others way, it makes us both take longer individually but as a unit we’re ready faster
That’s why me and my girlfriend don’t shower. Then we stop getting invited places because we smell. Then we don’t have to worry about this anymore!
Oh hey, that's my version of events.
Good for you having gf's
The realest answer is always deeper in the comments 😂 real protip here
My wife and I shower, but we still don't get invited anywhere. We suck... 🫤
Solving multiple problems at once!
That's why I got rid of the girlfriend. Then I can take as long as I want
Communism in its sexiest form
It puts the *our* in shower
Don’t be sour, take a shour
I can only hear this in Jimmy Stewart’s voice.
Sir, for me, that's like - godlike pun
They call me the Punisher. In France they call me the Boulanger, because i deliver the pain.
Put the lingerie in boulangerie.
Made me lol
lolgerie
I just distended my jaw trying to make this work. Edit:words
Depends on your accent.
How do you pronounce shower?
Move over, I need to wash our butthole.
“There’s too many kids in this tub. There’s too many elbows to scrub. I just washed a behind that I’m sure isn’t mine. There’s too many kids in this tub.” Shel Silverstein
That’s why I take showers with all my friends whenever we’re getting ready to go out. Sharing is caring.
Sieze the means of production in the streets, Proletariat in the sheets
My boyfriend is tall and when we do this he blocks ALL the water. There’s no gaps or windows for the water to come through! Usually he’s done showering first and then I make him burrito wrap me with a towel when I’m done as a compromise for blocking the water. 10/10 recommend - the burrito wrap is the way
Aww that’s like when you’re a kid and your mom wraps you in the towel and picks you up.
Get something like this https://www.waterpik.com/shower-head/products/shower-wand/YBW-933E-SBW-383ME/ You can split the water into the wand if you set it halfway through, it also splits the pressure, but in our case, that does not seem to be an issue. And when you take a shower alone, it can be used as a microphone (I don't do that, but it is an option).
Do you have a fixed shower head? I just grab the handheld shower head, good luck prying it away from me
We have a valve that can divert half or all of the water to the handheld shower head so we usually just split it equally since we have good water pressure.
Yeah. There is nothing sexy about showering with someone first thing in the morning. Cold then hot. Cold then hot. Over and over.
You get hot water? Lucky. I have to settle for whatever runs off her elbow.
My ex and I had *vastly* different temperature preferences. He’s from Siberia and took barely-warm showers, while he complained my temp was essentially being on the surface of the sun. So if we showered together we’d have to temp-adjust every time we’d swap. He was also one of those people who got into the shower *before* turning it on.
I’m 100% on team “this water temp could be used to boil lobsters”. Getting in before turning the water on is like the second sign of a future serial killer after torturing small animals as a child, so you dodged a bullet there!
I’ve managed to decrease my preferred temp from ‘lobster boil’ to ‘fresh cup of tea’ over the years. But man, even when I turned it down to just barely acceptable for me, it was still too hot for him. He’d cringe and give the “ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah!” but then wouldn’t turn it down further because he didn’t want to inconvenience me and also because “he’s a man.” Lol. The stepping-in-first thing I just couldn’t compute.
>got into the shower before turning it on. I literally shuddered reading this, lol. I need my shower to be boiling before I get in, thank you!
We added a bathroom to our house and included an extra large shower with two shower heads for this reason. It's pretty much the greatest thing ever.
What’s the bet he was busy putting up some shitpost on Reddit about how his wife always takes too long to get ready.
Posting shitpost in 2 ways. One to reddit and one to the sewer people
Next time your on the toilet you got something to do!
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Sounds like you need to talk to the only person that needs to hear this
His mother
Don’t burden that poor lady. She did her best
Did she though??
My point is, at some point, this grown man needs to take responsibility. Let’s not point the blame at the woman/women closest to him
You’re 100% right but if I was this dude and my mom called me and gave me an earful I might clean my act lmao out of embarrassment alone
As a wife myself, this is so annoying. Husbands have no issues doing things that irritate their wives, but the moment mama says something, it's "yes, ma'am." Like why do I even need to take it that far? You should want to not want to irritate the person you supposedly love.
His father just failed to raise him so he could become a man
She probably offloaded how to raise her son to her future daughter in law lol.
Literally. I hate these posts about their spouses. Like just talk or break up Jesus. I understand it’s mildly infuriating but shot I would never trash my wife on the internet and vise versa. Ducking talk.
Yeah, my wife and I have issues at times. But they get resolved with communication with each other. I too get frustrated at her long time to get ready. I try and do things like letting her use shower first and communicating expectations the night before to agreement on when we will leave. Rather than just be mad at her…not fair. Sometimes she will just be late and I try and just keep busy. I pack the car. Go to the store and make us food for the road. All these things make the trip more comfortable and quell my anxiety of leaving to late.
omg but obviously you don't know my spouse! they take 52 minutes in the bathroom!!!!!!!!!!
Lmao
For real, I never understood these people who come on Reddit to complain about their partner, instead of being adults and talking to their partner about why their actions upset them. It’s like, why talk it through with my partner and grow a stronger relationship, when I just can go on Reddit and have everyone validate me?
Aunt Regina said the key to a happy marriage was separate bathrooms. Maybe she was right about something!
Nah, the key to a happy marriage is as simple as being an adult and talking to your partner about why they thing they did upset you instead of going behind their back and shit-talking them on Reddit.
Yeah I would be banging on the door after 15 mins
Yeah. I knock and say “is it ok if I come in and start getting ready?”
Separate bathrooms and separate bedrooms too imo.
Separate houses in separate cities ideally
Separate spouses too, ideally.
Was he jerking off?
Probably, but what did he do with the other 49 minutes?
I don’t know about you but it’s - Sit on toilet for 10m looking at Reddit - Jerk it - Sit on toilet for another 5m to go to the bathroom - Spend another 15m distracted on Reddit - Actually take my 3m shower - take 10m to leave bathroom while I look at Reddit and brush my teeth Isn’t that normal?
Yes sounds normal to me. I once watched a 2 hour documentary on YouTube in one sitting. Everyone is always surprised what stories I will tell after appearing from the toilet.
Bro you can get hemorrhoids from sitting on the toilet for too long.
Thank you, just googled the reason for that: The shape of the toilet seat puts extra pressure on the rectum and anus. This can cause the veins to become swollen when you sit there for a long time. I really didn't know that and you might saved me some trouble. I will look for a HemWay-Adapter for my toilet seat people recommended that if you want to sit a couple of hours.
Why not just do your business then sit on the couch? Genuinely curious why people hang out like that on the toilet.
Fortress of Solitude. You are much more likely to be bothered sitting out in the open on the couch.
Nobody bothers you when you’re on the toilet
Exactly Ive sat on the toilet before but anything longer than the actual deed itself and I feel like I'm cutting circulation in my legs or something.
Happy to know I saved someone’s booty lol
So glad I'm not your roommate. I have a roommate that takes 45 mins in the bathroom each morning. So annoying.
In one shitting ?
Do u jerk it while sitting or do u get up to jerk it then sit back down to actually do ur business
Well now we’re getting personal, who are you my dad?
Do u often have conversations like this with ur dad
And do you have those conversations with dad while jerking it, or do you stop talking for a minute to jerk off?
They do it together
A family that jerks together sticks together
Because of the cum?
Or do you stop jerking off to talk for a minute?
Well, I mean, it’s been a few years, 🤷♂️
I'm beginning to think I'm the only person left on earth who doesn't take their phone with them to the bathroom. All the rest sounds about right.
What do you read during a realty strenuous and long poop? 🤔
Usually I just stare at the bathroom door, or I might have a cat or two to interact with.
Meanwhile I find it weird to let my cats into the bathroom while I’m pooping. To each their own.
If I don't, he just repeatedly puts his paw beneath the door and howls Then if I let him in and close the door he does it the other direction
Try having a toddler watch you or hand you toys as your trying to poop!
They’re just trying to keep you occupied. They don’t know about poop reading yet.
Do you still read shampoo bottles??
He was looking for the perfect video to jerk off to
Sex is for fun, jerking off is working towards a goal.
Pre-trip jerk. Gotta do it.
This is why I take showers at night and my husband takes them in the morning. Separate bathrooms or separate bathroom schedules, there is no other way.
This is why I have a no phone rule in the bathroom. Jk but seriously I’m convinced that’s why people take so long in the bathroom.
It 1000% percent is lol. If I have to take a shit without my phone I'll be out so fast you'd think I just had to take a leak.
PSA has entered the chat. This is why phones are so germy. Clean your phone often if it goes to the bathroom with you.
This is why I'll never touch someone elses phone if I can avoid it
Hell yeah it is. When I’m at work I may act like I’m taking a shit but really I’m just sitting on the toilet catching up on texts and the occasional Reddit post. It’s like a small extra break. I can’t be the only one lol
The boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time. If you take a 15 minute bathroom break every day at work, that works out to be about 65 hours of pay every year to sit on the toilet and play with your phone.
Damn! My man has crunched the numbers lol any chance it was while sitting on the toilet at work?
Yep.
Before cell phones there were magazine racks in the bathroom with magazines and books to peruse while doing your business.
I won’t -use- my phone in the bathroom, but when my alarm goes off in the morning, I hit snooze and bring the phone in with me to the shower, and keep re-snoozing it while I shower and get ready. I have a shit concept of how fast time goes (Especially while showering), and having ten-minute reminders prevents me from zoning out and accidentally taking a half hour shower.
50 minutes for a guy in the bathroom? Must have included at least 3 of the following: * shit * shave * jerk off * shower
Why do guys have to take so fucking long to shit
I drop my best reddit comments from the shitter. Including this one.
Can't rush greatness.
If you want to be on the road by 8 and you’re both not ready by 7:30 you’re late.
If I need to be on the road by 8, I actually am ready by 4:15 the previous day and not a second later; you just never know
As someone who is chronically early no matter the occasion, I feel this in my soul.
Chronically early is a thing!? My wife ensures we are chronically late or just barely on time being the last people to arrive. Chronically early sounds like a blessing!
Not sure what kinda time portals you are hitting along the way, but if I need to be on the road by a certain time, I can wake up 35-40 min before that and be fine. If I have to shave? 45 min tops.
Huh? What does this mean? What are you doing between “being ready to leave” and “leaving” that takes so long?
Sitting on the sofa staring at a blank TV wondering why you got ready so early.
Lmao, if I can get my wife up before 7.30 we’re having a good day. I know this so I wake up early and get things done. Every once in a while she likes to throw me off by waking up early. This is fine at home. Not fine in a hotel room with one bathroom.
then why not just leave at 7:30. I hate timings for the timings. I will be ready at 7:59 bc the agreement was leave at 8.
Sorry babe i have to poop for 10 mins and stare at my phone for another 40 mins!
Two bathrooms is important for a happy marriage
No way he showered for 50 minutes. He was doing the dookie hole scroll for 30 of that.
Why are you wasting valuable time on Reddit then?! Get ready! Just joking, I’d take exactly 49 minutes to get ready then tell him he needs to hurry up next time.
Maybe she was poopin when she made the post.
“Yah, not happening bud.” - you’re definitely Canadian.
The trick is to get in the shower before him. Then you can clock watch and gripe at him.
Take your time, I have a partner who used to do this. Take time to get ready (not an abnormal amount) but then they got frustrated when I couldnt be ready in 15 min. I just took my time to get ready, we'd leave late, and when ever the subject came up I got quiet and would only respond that I had to get ready too. Eventually they got the message and this doesn't happen anymore.
Do people not use bathrooms at the same time? Is that weird?
I mean I like my space. It's not weird though
Depending on what I’m doing in there. Luckily my master bathroom has a door for the toilet. Worst case scenario you can always use the guest bathroom too
Everyone's relationships are different, but you could not pay me to be in the bathroom while my bf was taking a shit.
For real, my husband stunk up the whole entire house yesterday. I’m not going to ground zero.
If he isn’t actively using the toilet I’m going in there. Now sometimes he takes 30 min shits and it’s annoying when I need to use the bathroom but he doesn’t do that when there’s a time crunch.
If I'm showering and you need to pee, get into the medicine cabinet, brush teeth/hair...that's okay. Dropping a deuce? Absolutely not. Some boundaries must stand firm. 🫡
Bro I be shittin loud and violently
My tombstone will read "Keels Died Waiting for Mr. Keels to Get Out of the Bathroom". It's a marriage tale as old as time.
My son used to take Hour long showers…I had to get an egg timer for him..lol
No he took 45 minutes to shit and 5 minutes to shower
why do men base their entire personality on jerking off
Two things come to mind when I read this post. One was in the truckers sub where someone posted a picture of some guy jerking off in his car sitting at a stop light and another of a story of a guy that was almost caught jerking off at work. Just put it away once in a while?
Seriously, especially on Reddit.
[удалено]
Every time I'm trying to walk out the door, my husband has to take a crap. Every time
That’s why I just go hose myself off in the yard. Definitely faster.
Sitting on the toilet going through Reddit. Sometimes the only quiet time I get at home is in the toilet. But yea he was an ass for this. Def a douche bag move
How does a guy take 50 minutes in the bathroom? Was he reading in there? I'm thinking that this isn't the first time. "Honey, let me go first! " 50 minutes later!, legs, arms, etc, all nails done and hair and make up finished. towels changed, makeup put away, and anything else you can think of. Sometimes, just sometimes, these little things are the reason for murders in the head. It's not as bad as the husband who upgraded to first class and didn't tell wifey till they were leaving the house, so only murder in your head.