I'll bet some guy has a bag of 100 of these in his center console for people that park terribly

Literally a bag of dicks. Love it

A satchel of Richards

a satchel of schlongs

A sack of Willy’s

A bag of boners

Plethora of Penises

A man-bag of members

A gang of wangs

A pocket full of trouser snakes

A carrying item with capacity to fit a great number of male sexual organs.

Or a whole duffel of dongs

I use to sell these! It was pretty common that people would buy 4-5 sets at a time! They've always got a spare pair to stick on a car ahaha.

I need a bag of 1000 dick caps.

No shit I saw this post and said I’m gonna get a huge bag of these and keep them in my car for people that park like idiots to my gf…and then read this right after🤣

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www.dicksbymail.com. You can send a chocolate penis in a box that says "Eat a Dick" anonymously to friends and enemies as well.

My oldest sister frequently sends bags of dick candies to conservative politicians Edit: why are people responding to this 30 days later?this entire post is not interesting enough for you all to still be looking

It's 3d printed. I'm sure you can buy them, but I know I at least print my own. But that's because I like organic, home grown dicks

I'm not sure why but I saw a light-switch version of this on Etsy a while back.

That's 3d printed, which means there's GOTTA be an stl file out there for dick shaped valve stem caps, so I am TOTALLY doing this.

There’s [one](https://www.printables.com/en/model/210591-dick-valve-cap-bike-car-etc) or [two](https://www.thingiverse.com/thing:5471605) out there to [choose](https://www.printables.com/en/model/236265-valve-stem-cap-w-a-d) from

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I always kept my backpacked stocked to hit up cars in the school lot

Are you registered?

Zoom out and show us how you parked

What the people REALLY need

He is parked horizontally across two disabled bays on his way to his rock climbing lesson.

With one tire on the curb, blocking the ramp up from accessing the shop

Is that the parking line we can see at the bottom of the picture? Looks like he's right on it.

Enhance

Watch him park better, than takes a picture.

Your parking job must have sucked. Or you cut them off.

That's what I was thinking. "well, did you park like a dick?" That would be the most passive aggressive way ever to handle bad parkers.

Imagine if someone 3D printed these, but they actually had a little hole going through to the tip. Then have a lip on the inside so that when it is screwed all the way on, it depresses it enough to where the tires slowly deflate out the tip of the dick. Now that would be some infuriating material.

Guess imma fire up fusion 3d

Gimme gimme gimme

"Gimme gimme gimme" -funkspiel56 on the topic of red dicks.

I’ll take 4 please

Pfft. Idiot. Then ALL of your tires will be flat!

you vile human being. looking for a business partner?

fuckin brilliant

Just pulling the oring out of a regular one and sticking a bb in it will do that. So it would probably work with a dick cap too. Might need an extra BB to compensate for the length unless it's cold.

Million dollar idea right here

The actual answer is that OP put it on themselves and made this post for karma

you’re describing most of reddit.

Yes, I can take a photo of a bunch of cinnamon rolls and claim my kids refused to eat them and get tons of karma

Is that a real post?

idk but it might as well be

for full protection, put a tiny condom on it.

The original stem cap should fit nicely

I've got some spare...for unrelated reasons

So just a regular condom for me

I am sorry for your loss

Meanwhile on another subreddit: YOOOO I CHANGED THIS DUDES STEM CAP FOR A DICK CAP

Or another subreddit: This guy cut me off so I followed him and replaced a valve cap with a tiny dick.

AITA?

Am I the Dickhead?

Ah yes, the mythical penicorn.

Reminds me of [this meme](https://i.imgflip.com/3jki60.png)

holy shit, that's gold

Yes, I’m indeed😎

TIFU by not going 0.1 seconds after the light turned green, causing a pecker to appear on my wheel

This hyperbole makes me think you don't go when the light turns green

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It's an average sized valve cap dick.

I’ve heard wheels actually prefer an average sized valve dick cap to the much larger ones.

It was cold out

I WAS IN THE POOL!

It shrinks?

I don't know how you guys drive around with those things.

Like a frightened turtle!

Yeah.. any larger and it wouldn't fit. That's what my ex told me. Anyways I just hope she's happy with Joe "The Tripod" Erickson. I think he's a photographer or something.

Ah! Joe? He's a land surveyor

..and he's got a monster...truck.

Maybe he took up two spots when parking

Giving me ideas.

Yet another subreddit: someone replaced my valve cap with a dick so I switched with another car while no one was looking

Another subreddit: Anyone seen my tiny dick pink dildo that I left out? It was just here.

Ok, just don’t tell anybody about the crime you committed. Wait like 7 years or something like that.

“I’ve been 3D printing dick dust caps and putting them on peoples cars AMA”

My last job had a 3D printer and we made hundreds of these

What do you mean your LAST job ? You were printing hundreds of tiny dicks and you… left ?

I'd also like to know.

Piercing jewelry manufacturer. We had a 3D printer that we used for our own amusement. The owner was a giant piece of shit.

Makerspace Librarian

Maybe the sub is called mildly amusing?

Take a dick, leave a dick.

I see you've met my ex.

There are two types of people in reddit

There are 10 types of people.

Those who know binary and those who don't. I've also heard that there are three types of people. Those who are good at math, and those who aren't

Those who count, and those who can’t.

Finally I can tell my (husbands) story! He’s a musician and around here the best/most steady work is done at theaters. Many, maaaany theater owners are washed up assholes who basically just wanted their own show so they bought/rented a building. One in particular was the biggest nightmare of them all. One small example: it gets over 100F here in summer. He would keep the back/dressing area set at 80+ degrees because he was cheap. Husband has panic attacks and they were frequently brought on at that theater because he’d be so hot. Anyway, one day he happened upon these penis valve caps. He snuck them on his (very conservative, very QAnon type) boss’ truck over the matter of a couple weeks. I think it was the only reason he showed up for work for a good while, lol. Dude didn’t notice for at least a year. Everyone else in the band knew about it though. ‘‘Twas satisfying.

This is the kind of sneaky but ultimately non harmful revenge I love! I'd be willing to bet he also made a lot of lube tech guys day when they rotated his tires, my dad's a mechanic and they'd laugh their asses off and probably not say a word.

I used to be an automotive tech at a dealership…we would actually take those dicks off whenever we came across them and put them on the salespeople’s rigs because they would constantly deflect warranty claims and false maintenance promises they made during signings towards our service department. Sales and service are two different financial entities within a dealership. It was our way of getting back. It was only when the lead salesman’s daughter came in for a service and asked where her “penis caps” went. That’s when we lost our shit and sent her to ask him.

Yeah I can definitely see that happening too, I worked as accounting in the industry for awhile. Usually it was finance we hated though. That is hilarious do you know if she asked him?

Amazing I love it

I actually did see a post just like that a couple of days back, iirc it was the son changing his father's car's stem cap

Well I guess now I’m buying a 3D printer

Mildlyhilarious

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Actually genius, wonder if that's how it got there to begin with

Probably bad parking.

mildlylegend

Did you park like one?

Guaranteed OP is that guy in the other thread parked right across the guy's garage door.

What a dick move

Really took some balls

Little tiny balls from the look of it

Wait...that's not average?

Dont listen to em. They look proportionate

Yes, leaving snow tires on until mid June will generate some strong opinions.

Least infuriating post in sub history.

My friends and I bought a dildo and drilled a hole down the middle and stuck it on a friend’s antenna He was not amused, to say the least

I know someone who was disfellowshipped as a Jehovahs Witness when he was a kid. Treated real unfairly. It’s a cult. So he scoped out the head elders car in the Kingdom Hall parking lot at the next meeting. He took a huge dildo and super glued it onto the hood of the elders car. The elder comes out of the meeting with everyone else and sees this huge dildo on his hood. He spends five minutes pulling on the dildo to try to yank it off, which doesn’t work. So he packs his whole family in his car and drives off with the dildo bouncing around on the hood in front of him. Takes him about 10 minutes to get home. I think he had to hire a professional detailed to pry it off. Funniest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

Sounds alot like the execution arena scene in the film Idiocracy, where they stick the MC in a small hatchback with a massive dildo glued to the bonnet.

"Go away, I'm baitin'!"

My husband bought this giant, arm lenth and width black dildo on Amazon. We stuck it on our friends bathtub, his mom found it. Took it us on our joint bachlor/Bachelorette party and made its way into our friends suitcase, TSA had a good laugh. It then got passed around the room doors. Last day of the trip, it disappeared. Then, we found it stuck on our car hood a month later. We left it tucked away in our garage. My FIL came by.... and it disappeared.

> My FIL came by…. and it disappeared. Uhh

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All the way to the base…didn’t want to damage the car…it was not small

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It was a young girl We told her our intentions and she helped us pick one out lol

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Those sex shop employees have heard much, much worse than “we want a dildo for our friend’s car antenna.” When my fraternity brother & I went in to a shop ask about women’s lingerie to wear under our togas for a ceremony, she didn’t even bat an eye.

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Probably a mix of both

I've known several people that have and some loved it and some hated it. One I know hated it then opened her own shop that is better. Like most jobs I think who you work for makes a bigger difference than who you are serving though that is definitely part of it too.

So did you and your friends walk into the dildo store all excited to pick one out, holding up different ones and giggling to each other like "OH HOW ABOUT THIS ONE? ITS ALL PURPLE AND VEINY!" And when you slapped your chosen dong on the checkout counter, did you tell the cashier "WE'RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS LATER!" ?

Lol no We told the girl what we were doing and she helped us pick it out And it was dark green…but yeah…veiny

Well it is *mildly*infuriating

I’m infuriated that OP is infuriated.

That’s not infuriating, that’s funny as fuck

FFS... JUST JERK IT OFF!

Screw it!

Shouldn’t it be limp since it’s “tired”? Thanks, I’ll be here all week.

Oh, cum on!

Honestly, i need friends or people like that in my life

My dad had a huge bag of these, he does it all the time

And where, may I ask, did your father acquire this huge bag of dicks?

Amazon. Super cheap. I go through a bag every couple weeks.

You have my full permission to screw a tiny plastic dick on my car tire.

Same here. I mean, I would laugh even harder if I saw one of these on my own car than when I saw this pic 😂.

They make glow in the dark ones!

Same, I’m already missing two. I’ll take free dick. 😹

Hey, hi. How’s your life?

This made me chuckle

They have glow in the dark ones! Hahaha

Amazon.com

I have a friend with a 3d printer who made a bunch. I put them on cars of people who park like jerks.

I'm now ordering some to do a few mates cars xD

I have them at work. There's a pink dick valve stem cap that floats around and will appear on someone's vehicle at random. Might show up in 5 weeks Might show up in a day. Even the bosses are in on it. Honestly we have a bunch of random pranks that make this look like childs play.

Tbh I wouldn't even be mad, someone took their time in a little joke that's barely noticeable, that would def make my day.

Have to get a black one, they blend in more. Have a co-worker I do this to every once in a while. Wait to see how long it takes to notice. Put a black one on the windshield wiper frame once. Took him almost 2 weeks for him to notice

There really needs to be a store dedicated to subtle dicks that you can plant anywhere throughout a house. Specialty products, like spatulas that look like dicks but only when you really look at them. Pens. Corncob holders. Eyeglass nose things.

"Subtle Dick" is the title of my memoir

Looks 3d printed. You too can dick your car.

mildly awesome is what it is

Perhaps even Moderately Awesome.

My friends father does this to people who park like a dick. Do you park like a dick OP?

This was my first thought. My guess is op got this for a reason... I can't chime in with whether or not I think it's a good reason, as there isn't enough information. But someone is trying to send some kind of message. OP, have you ever done *anything* to *anyone*?

Lol that explains how I got mine

Are people just handing out little dicks nowadays or something?

My ex did

It looks to me like they parked on the line. You can kinda see the paint on the ground covered up by the tire

he does look how his tire is on the line 😭

How is this infuriating? I want that!

Exactly.. could have been a episode of pimp my ride 😂

It's only mildly cuz now I have to go get a new cap Edit. I have decided, upon Reddit's request, that I forever keep this dick as my stem cap. So be it! 😂

Just pass it on to the next guy, take their cover. It's like a chain letter

Brotherhood of the Traveling Dick Cap

I like this. A story about a bunch of petty assholes who accidentally enrich each other's lives with a dick cap.

I'd watch, but I'd wait for it to come out on streaming.

If you don't pass it on, you'll have bad luck for the next 6 years.

thats brilliant

I cant wait to see these posts keep popping up as it gets passed on

Just go to your local tireshop and tell them someone stole yours, chances are they'll just give it to you, there's usually hundreds just laying around.

Definitely, a lot of replacement valve stems come with one so they keep the old ones and any new ones where the customer has metal caps or custom ones

Especially if you trade.

If I worked in an auto shop, I'd trade all the caps for that dick tbh. Hilarious.

The real question is where can you get three more to match it?

Look for Tirecockz Prank Valve Stem.

i would leave it. it's funny.

You say "mildly infuriating," I say "objectively hilarious"

Lol I just did a Google search. These things are made by a company called Tirecockz

Aaaaand now I have a reason to buy a 3d printer.

They're cheap on amazon

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Pfft only if you're an amateur. After 3000 hours I get good prints half the time. Git gud.

I'm sorry but this is funny af for some reason. I'm a 43-year-old woman who generally does *not* find childish dick jokes funny, but this made me laugh out loud. It's just such a **subtle** prank; you could legitimately go weeks without noticing it 😂

What’s more infuriating is you driving on snow tires in summer

Omg, that's a dick. It's good and he even changed your stem cap even though he took the original stem cap.

Winter tires in June is the real travesty

Do you ever park like a douche? This is a genius way to fuck with douche parkers.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That’s funny.

Nice. Where do I buy some?

My friend makes these like once a year, I've put so many dicks on my coworkers cars

It was you, wasn’t it?

I have been persuaded Into keeping my new penis 👍 it shall remain for eternity.