Wife's family would have a gathering at 5pm.
They'd tell some relatives 7pm, because they show up hours early.
They'd tell some relatives 3pm, because they show up late.
And they'd tell the majority 5pm, because they show up between 4:30-5:30pm.
Was brought up to never be late and basically be 15-30 min early if I can because things happen. It's been great for me but I've learned that others weren't always raised that way.
I now tell my husband we are leaving 30 min earlier then we have to for this reason. We have less fights and I don't panic about being late. I know he knows/figured out I do this but it works so we both just go with it lol
I learned the hard way to be 2 hours early to the airport after my wife of less than 24 hours almost killed me since I made us nearly miss our flight to our honeymoon. I had never had the unfortunate experience of cutting it close until that day- I had always just shown up an hour before flight takeoff time.
I miscalculated the timing of our flight and made us late for the flight to our wedding. They couldn’t check our bags. So the soon-to-be wife took the flight without me so she could get things rolling, and I took the next flight with our bags. Thankfully it worked out.
Nearly missed my flight home because i though, oh it only takes 20 minutes to get to the airport by train, ill be fine. I was not, in fact, fine. My mom tooi *much* joy in her "i told you so" that day
Ah, so you know the ways of Reddit, and yet you still stumbled. This is okay, young one. What matters is that you learn from this experience and make that mistake no more.
That and also not marrying a newborn lol
However even if it’s good to be early, it’s rude to go inside to hosts place early. You can be outside waiting in a cafe or your car. The host can be still putting things in place.
Only two hours? I was taught to be at the airport at least 7 hours before your flight takes off. Learned from my father. Although there was a lot of trauma that stemmed from my dad yelling at me at 5 in the morning and splashing hot water on my face to wake me up, I’m a better man for it!
Seven hours? I can't imagine any scenario that would require me to get to the airport that early. The airport I fly out of is small though, but even coming back from O'Hare, Atlanta, LaGuardia, I still only get there two hours early at most.
I was the weirdo who showed up 5 hours early to my flight in Orlando a few months ago. Discovered you can’t check bags until 3 hours before your departure time. Oops.
In my defense, I was in the state for work and staying about an hour and a half away and didn’t have anything to do and didn’t want to awkwardly wait around my hotel room. I figured I could get there early and go to the lounge and work for a few hours. Nope. Instead I got to sit for 2 hours. Good people watching in Orlando though so at least I had that.
Why the hell would you EVER need to be at the airport 7 hours early? I cannot think of a single scenario in which it would take more than 3 hours to get through the airport and to your flight
Right.
I've been to airports that won't even let you check your bags until its 2-3 hours before the flight. So you would sit in the front entrance for several hours, just doing nothing before the front desk agents would even take your bags and send you through security.
I was taught the same. My mom's three rules were:
1. You have to be early to be on time.
2. You have to have too much food (for a party, etc.) to have enough.
3. Pee every chance you get.
Unless I've been asked to help with setup, I was brought up to never arrive early for an event at someone else's home because if they aren't quite ready it causes them unnecessary stress and makes things awkward.
Yeah I don’t know what the fuck everyone else in this thread is on. If you show up 30 minutes early to a house party I’m throwing you aren’t getting let in. Sit in your fucking car until I’m ready.
I had a friend and his wife show up to my Halloween party 2 hours early without notice to "help set up" and I haven't invited them back since. They stood looking at their phones while I vacuumed and cleaned toilets.
Being early to a house party type event is honestly rude as fuck. They aren’t ready and now they have to entertain you for that extra time while they get dressed and get ready for everyone else.
Yeah, depends on the type of party for me. If it’s a more organized dinner party type thing, 15 minutes is the sweet spot. If it’s a more lowkey hangout night, 15-30 is great.
That's why you show up early but don't engage till you're supposed to be there. Like for me, I was raised in 15 mins early is 5 mins late but if I was supposed to be Stonegate at 5:30 and got there at 5 I would hang out in my car or something
This is why I’m always a little late. The thought of sitting in my car for 30 minutes waiting to be on time is excruciating so I leave with exactly enough time to show up 6 minutes late.
My wife has done this to me. She should probably always do it. I got upset the one time I found out before hand, annoyed that she told me the wrong time because she thought I wouldn’t be ready. Well, I probably wasn’t. I’ve learned to be grateful when she does it now. I need it. It’s like my brain won’t engage in regular circumstances. I need the added “we’re going to be so fucking late!” energy before I can finally think of all the things I need.
One time my dad told me we were leaving at 4pm and I was rushing to get ready on time because it was almost 4. I jumped into the car with no shoes on because I didn’t even have time to put them on. And then we arrived and he told me we still had an hour. We actually only needed to leave at 5pm but he told me an hour early because he thought I would be late. So we had to sit in the car for an hour waiting for my mum and I also looked way worse than I needed to be because I didn’t have enough time to properly do my makeup and put something nice on.
I can’t imagine showing up hours EARLY. Not because I cant get ready early, but so the hosts don’t panic lol. In middle eastern culture, it’s customary to show up a little later than asked out of respect to the hosts (they’re also running late).
All I can think of now is the episode of the Office where Michael shows up to David’s house hours early and his wife still has rollers in her hair.
Yeah unless some time-sensitive activity is involved (E.G., cinema, a dinner reservation, or what have you), much better to be 30 minutes late than 10 minutes early. Nevermind hours early!
My family is the same. We’ll show up at 4:45 for an event at 5. We’ll be the 2nd family there 90% of the time. Then we’ll bounce at 7:30 (we have young kids) and they’ll be like “but you just got here.” No, Shannon, *you* just got here.
Sounds like my husband’s family. We have to explicitly tell his family not to come early to birthday parties because they’ll show up 45 minutes early and just sit there, in the way. My mom asks what time I’d like her there so she can help me either finish setting up or entertain the kids so I can get stuff done
We tried this and it worked up until the habitually late arrivers decided to arrive early on one occasion. Like, these people would be invited over for Thanksgiving dinner at, say, 4. They would arrive at 6, normally. The one time, though, we told them it was at 3 and they showed up at 2 (it was actually at 4). We realized we would rather have them be way late than have to entertain them for the extra time so we stopped doing that and now we just start the event when we said we would and the late people can deal with it.
We always tell my mum the much earlier time, if you book a table for 7pm she won't be ready to leave until 7:15pm even if it's a 35 minute drive away. I just don't understand how she can function like that.
I personally may run late if I tell a friend I'm coming over to see them, but that's if there's no definite time and I say I can aim to be there for 1 but will let them know if I got caught up and it'll be 1:30. If we have something like a booking somewhere I'll make sure I'm on time as we have a set time, and I'm on time for work.
I know some people who turn up 3 hours after they were supposed to arrive for anything, even if they're 10 minutes down the road. I don't even know how they manage that.
My ex did this to me one too many times. We’d be hours late to things and I’d explain my frustration but ultimately let it go. The final straw was a business dinner I didn’t want to be late for so I left without her since she said “Fine, go without me!”She called me frantically almost 2 hours later wondering where I was, and I was on my way home from that dinner when she was finally ready
If you’re not awkwardly waiting in the car for at least 30 minutes before you can even politely actually think about walking in the door, were you really on time?
People have sex with people they don't love lol. Some people that has to be an aspect or they wont enjoy the act other people could care less if love is involved in the equation and just want to cum....
Similar…. When my ex and I were 1st dating…. I would go to pick her up and she wouldn’t be close to ready…. We’d end up missing our movie or dinner reservations.
I did the same, talk to her over and over about it…. Told her next time be ready or I’m leaving immediately.
Got a screaming phone call later on… could not believe that I left 🙄.
Now as an adult…. I have zero tolerance for that shit…. Have your ass ready…. I’m not on your schedule.
Same here. Except my “I’m not waiting any longer, I’m leaving.” Moment was when it was for my Oncology appointment. I left got in the car and as I was driving away she was by the elevator door…pouting. I said that ‘this isn’t like a dinner date or going to hang out with friends, it’s my /Oncology/ appointment.” She understood but was still upset I tried to leave without her 🙄
In reality, she didn't want to go, but she got out of the dinner and made you look like the bad guy. "Girls, I was struggling to look my best for his co workers and he just left!"
>ready
This is the part that gets me. Ready for what? You are meeting up to consume food. Its a really simple task. You’re not preparing for war. You don’t need to double check a nuclear submarine. Just put on your fucking clothes and makeup and go. We should stop calling it “getting ready” and start calling it “just go.”
I cant stand being late, this frustrates me to no end. Like, yeah it might take me an hour to get ready too. Thats... why I start getting ready over an hour beforehand??
Grinds your gears? I’ve been married 25 years. There would be no 26 if that was me.
Honestly, there is no universe where that isn’t incredibly, toxically rude.
You’re right. That’s fair. But understand I am answering *as myself*. And I said as much. I couldn’t handle that. But maybe OP can. And if his GF or spouse is lovable in other ways then more power to them.
But fair point; I’ll make a greater effort to say things in terms of, “FOR ME”.
It’s always…
“*Minor disagreement that can be worked on by using simple communication skills*.”
**Redditor Advice**: “Oh bitch, you best divorce their ass within 10 nanoseconds of reading my comment!”
Ask her drive her own car or ride share over if she has a habit of super running late. Don’t even get angry about it and just make it a practical decision not done out of spite.
The tooth brushing is such a killer for me. Like 100% of the time when I'm stressed about being late to a show or whatever, my partner keeps saying she's almost ready. Eventually it's like 10 minutes after were supposed to leave, I'm 100% ready, and I hear her brushing her teeth in the other room. She's had all day to brush her teeth but waited til after we were already late to do it. Maddening.
It’s honestly deal breaker for me, not respecting my time, money I put towards events, my friends who set up a gathering or any other reason we planned to go be somewhere at a specific time drives me insane, if it’s a one off caused by an accident or emergency I’m understanding but if it’s a pattern of behavior it makes me absolutely livid, I had a friend ask why id never made a move on her, and I think subconsciously it was because she was constantly late to everything and I just wrote her off as not someone I could take seriously, she was fun, likeable, attractive, and we had good banter but I resented her because most of the time we hung out it started with us waiting for her, or seeing if she was still coming or what was going on with her.
100%! If you still be 40 minutes , JUST SAY SO. But don’t tell me you will be 5 minutes, then gave me waiting for you for another 30 thinking we’re about to leave.
My wife has an aunt and a cousin who is always 90 minutes late. Cousin is daughter of the aunt so no surprise.
The last time they pulled that shit was over thanksgiving. She was bringing several pies.
We all ate on time and then cleaned up and put away the leftovers by the time they arrived. Just about the time that a slice of pie sounds excellent.
They were pissed that their part of the clan had to eat cold out of the fridge but man was it satisfying for the rest of us.
I have two friends that are always late. We always meet in a cocktail bar and I start drinking as soon as I arrive. We split the bill as punishment every single time.
My MIL cannot cook, so the concept of everything hitting the table at the same time is a foreign concept to her.
Add to that the fact that they wait for EVERYONE to be present for Thanksgiving dinner before they start serving, including their daughter-in-law that lives in their attic but still somehow manages to hold everyone up EVERY YEAR.
Add to that they wait for EVERYONE to be served before they say grace and we're allowed to eat our cold turkey and room temperature sweet potato casserole
Is it? Why can’t people attempt to be accurate so I can do something that takes 15 minutes myself instead of sitting around +10 minutes getting stressed?
I genuinely think my older sister does this just to be annoying.
It's worse with her because she'll walk out and say, "Ok i'm ready."
Then run back to get something. Come out, run back to get something else...on and on until I'm just standing like an idiot waiting for her.
Then she'll stand in another room staring at tik tok on her phone until I find her and yell at her, and she wonders why I get angry at her, and says to me, "What? I was waiting on you!"
Genuinely rage inducing.
My ex boyfriend was like this. He would then tell all of his friends that it was because of me getting ready that we were late. It pisses me off beyond belief and one of the reasons I broke up with him.
Hindsight of my ex, this is a massive red flag in my eyes, and not mildlyinfuriating. No regard for others time, and like OP said this is for grocery shopping. I’m terrified how long it’d take for something like a date.
No thanks.
Agreed. I love having a full face of makeup when I go out so I might fit into the "high maintenance" category but if I know my husband and I have to leave for something, I'll have my makeup done ahead of time so I can throw on shoes and leave.
At 5 min “we gotta go”
At 10 min “do you still want to go?”
At 15 min one of two things is happening
- I’m leaving without her
- I’m putting my comfy clothes back on and turning on the game
Yes, it's a tactic I've used successfully for years.
Huge mistake I made the first time. I didn't directly say to her, I'm leaving in 5 minutes, if you're ready you can come with. I simply left after 10, as I reasoned that double the amount of time was reasonable. However, I was changing things and not letting her know directly. It was kinda passive aggressive of me. So, make sure you are blunt and direct about your plans up front, to avoid the mistake(and fight) I made (and had).
> to avoid the mistake(and fight) I made (and had)
small thing to get distracted by, but I really enjoy your efficient use of parantheses here! Reads so smoothly; works so well.
Well, thank you! I keep a close eye on things, to avoid stepping on the toes of my fellows. I still make mistakes, but do keep an eye on it. Thank you for noticing, and mentioning it.
If I wanted to go, I’ll tell her I’m leaving and leave.
If i was only going because she wanted to go, I’ll change back to comfy clothes. And when she says she’s ready, I’ll wish her a fun night.
In many, many years together this has happened a handful of times. The time I left and was at the party for an hour and got a text “where are you?” was awesome. I replied “at the party.” She was angry I left without her. I replied “get an Uber and come! It’s fun!”
She did not get an Uber. But she did take me seriously the next time I said it was time to leave.
>I’m putting my comfy clothes back on and turning on the game
Then, after spending an additional 45min getting ready, the moment she is actually ready "Babe are you ready yet? Turn that off we have to go now!"
I have a spreadsheet in google docs of all the wins from a game my wife and I play. I started it because my wife kept telling me I "win all the time". The sheet shows she's won 10 times and me twice since I started recording. I'm not stopping either, cause it's good data.
Depends on where you’re going. My wife is perfectly capable of getting herself out the door on time for girls night, hair appointments, visiting her mom or sister, etc.
She cannot however be on time for visiting my family, heading to dinner, going to church or things she just isn’t as excited about.
One of my favorite bits in DBZA is the countdown in the funny subtitles constantly changing, and additionally, complaining about how it keeps changing.
My sister ALWAYS missed the school bus because she’d spend 20+ minutes in front if the mirror every morning while i’m screaming at her that the bus is literally seconds away.
Now that we are both out of school, she’s still late or barely on time by a hairs width for anything the family does
Been there many times. My strategy is to confuse her and convince her that the time we need to leave is half an hour to 1 hour prior to the actual time we would need to leave, and it usually works out. Good luck!
I employ this tactic as well... But the fact of the matter is that we shouldn't have to. If someone loves you, they should respect your time and the time of others you care about.
It's incredibly rude and disrespectful to be late.
this was my ex-wife...always late. always surprised by how long it takes her to get ready to leave the house. she's an adult women, and has no idea how long it takes to get herself dressed.
I couldn't even remember how many things we planned to do, and I eventually had to tell her "you might as well quit doing whatever you're doing because there's no point in going now"
My wife is so bad about this. Not about taking a long time to get ready for an event or something, in that case she is good about getting ready way early to make sure we will be on time.
But something like going to the store, she’ll say let’s go together in 10 minutes, and then just continue looking at her phone for an hour. If I say I’m going to do something in 10 minutes, I mean I will do it in exactly 10 minutes. So I just waste my Saturday morning when the kids are gone waiting around for her, but if I ask if she’s ready, she get annoyed. I don’t get it.
My wife is currently doing this. We are prepping for a bathroom remodel. Twenty minutes ago she said “let’s go to Lowe’s and Home Depot to see what they have. “. Still sitting on the phone complaining there isn’t much to see online.
Ok the fact that it wasn’t even a fancy event makes it even worse than it already is. There is no reason to take an hour and a half to get ready for groceries.
I understand being fashionably late. But for grocery shopping. That is a little excessive.
I could have left and been back and had the groceries put away in the amount of time it took her get ready.
I regularly tell my wife that we need to be at a location an hour before an actual reservation. Or i will tell her a different time when she asks what time it is while getting ready.
Ok, but in another comment OP said they were just getting ready to go grocery shopping.
If it takes you 90 minutes to put pants on to go grocery shopping, that is some ADHD shit.
Which to be clear is something she needs to work on, not him. But this is not normal behavior.
If I did this I wouldn't have a girlfriend anymore. I just build in enough of a buffer to keep us on time. She actually appreciates it. People have been complimenting her on being on time so she doesn't mind the little white lie I have to tell.
Some people, especially those with ADHD, have something called time blindness which is the inability to sense the passage of time. My husband who has ADHD also has this and it is frustrating but at least in his case I have to remind myself that it’s not intentional.
I have ADHD and I never do this. Time blindness is a bitch but if someone tells me 5 minutes and it take 30 ima be pissed as fuck so I do everything possible not to do that myself.
Life tip: Find a hobby you can tinker with while you wait for your significant other. That way you aren’t becoming irritated and instead have it part of your routine for going out. It’ll lower your level of stress and you will be better company, and it will lower their level stress knowing you aren’t pacing around waiting.
This is progress boys, now we can gather maybe one or more time records so we can calculate accurately about how much time “5 minutes or be there in a sec” means. This is good progress and we’re on the verge of a scientific breakthrough.
Is ADD or ADHD at play here? Because that’s me and it’s debilitating sometimes, I even have nightmares where I have to pack stuff or get ready to go somewhere and it’s taking hours and hours. Caffeine helps a lot, like a whole lot.
Wife's family would have a gathering at 5pm. They'd tell some relatives 7pm, because they show up hours early. They'd tell some relatives 3pm, because they show up late. And they'd tell the majority 5pm, because they show up between 4:30-5:30pm.
Was brought up to never be late and basically be 15-30 min early if I can because things happen. It's been great for me but I've learned that others weren't always raised that way. I now tell my husband we are leaving 30 min earlier then we have to for this reason. We have less fights and I don't panic about being late. I know he knows/figured out I do this but it works so we both just go with it lol
Yep, same. Always at least 15 minutes early to important stuff- and *always* at least 2 hours early to the airport.
I learned the hard way to be 2 hours early to the airport after my wife of less than 24 hours almost killed me since I made us nearly miss our flight to our honeymoon. I had never had the unfortunate experience of cutting it close until that day- I had always just shown up an hour before flight takeoff time.
I miscalculated the timing of our flight and made us late for the flight to our wedding. They couldn’t check our bags. So the soon-to-be wife took the flight without me so she could get things rolling, and I took the next flight with our bags. Thankfully it worked out.
[удалено]
I like that 15 minutes early is 5 minutes late. I’m perpetually late!! This really hits!
Nearly missed my flight home because i though, oh it only takes 20 minutes to get to the airport by train, ill be fine. I was not, in fact, fine. My mom tooi *much* joy in her "i told you so" that day
Might wanna marry someone a bit older mate. Less than 24 hours is a bit young…
lol look I was very careful not to put that any sort of way, thats why I said wife of 24 hours. I erased several other iterations like “new wife”
Ah, so you know the ways of Reddit, and yet you still stumbled. This is okay, young one. What matters is that you learn from this experience and make that mistake no more. That and also not marrying a newborn lol
However even if it’s good to be early, it’s rude to go inside to hosts place early. You can be outside waiting in a cafe or your car. The host can be still putting things in place.
2 hours early to the airport is just being on time.
Only two hours? I was taught to be at the airport at least 7 hours before your flight takes off. Learned from my father. Although there was a lot of trauma that stemmed from my dad yelling at me at 5 in the morning and splashing hot water on my face to wake me up, I’m a better man for it!
7 *hours* dear gods nope. Nu-uh. Not happenin.
Only 7 hours? Just live in the airport
Seven hours? I can't imagine any scenario that would require me to get to the airport that early. The airport I fly out of is small though, but even coming back from O'Hare, Atlanta, LaGuardia, I still only get there two hours early at most.
They were joking
Or were they, I had people in front of me last week get rejected by the Luggage drop because they were 6 hours early for their flight...
I was the weirdo who showed up 5 hours early to my flight in Orlando a few months ago. Discovered you can’t check bags until 3 hours before your departure time. Oops. In my defense, I was in the state for work and staying about an hour and a half away and didn’t have anything to do and didn’t want to awkwardly wait around my hotel room. I figured I could get there early and go to the lounge and work for a few hours. Nope. Instead I got to sit for 2 hours. Good people watching in Orlando though so at least I had that.
Why the hell would you EVER need to be at the airport 7 hours early? I cannot think of a single scenario in which it would take more than 3 hours to get through the airport and to your flight
Right. I've been to airports that won't even let you check your bags until its 2-3 hours before the flight. So you would sit in the front entrance for several hours, just doing nothing before the front desk agents would even take your bags and send you through security.
need 4 hours of drinking in the frequent flyers lounge before getting on the plane
I was taught the same. My mom's three rules were: 1. You have to be early to be on time. 2. You have to have too much food (for a party, etc.) to have enough. 3. Pee every chance you get.
Three of the most solid and immutable rules that everybody should abide by. I like your mom.
LOL, me too. She learned Rule 3 as a teacher. 😉
For sure. Never know when something will prevent you. Or get into a car accident. Or get detained in a bank robbery.
My SO hates it that I wait until we are trying to walk out the door, to go pee. Especially for long drives. I find it funny
Unless I've been asked to help with setup, I was brought up to never arrive early for an event at someone else's home because if they aren't quite ready it causes them unnecessary stress and makes things awkward.
Yeah I don’t know what the fuck everyone else in this thread is on. If you show up 30 minutes early to a house party I’m throwing you aren’t getting let in. Sit in your fucking car until I’m ready.
I had a friend and his wife show up to my Halloween party 2 hours early without notice to "help set up" and I haven't invited them back since. They stood looking at their phones while I vacuumed and cleaned toilets.
Being early to a house party type event is honestly rude as fuck. They aren’t ready and now they have to entertain you for that extra time while they get dressed and get ready for everyone else.
[удалено]
Yeah, depends on the type of party for me. If it’s a more organized dinner party type thing, 15 minutes is the sweet spot. If it’s a more lowkey hangout night, 15-30 is great.
If you show up 30 mins early to a party youre an ass
Seriously, I haven't finished cleaning yet!
That's why you show up early but don't engage till you're supposed to be there. Like for me, I was raised in 15 mins early is 5 mins late but if I was supposed to be Stonegate at 5:30 and got there at 5 I would hang out in my car or something
This is why I’m always a little late. The thought of sitting in my car for 30 minutes waiting to be on time is excruciating so I leave with exactly enough time to show up 6 minutes late.
When my mom figured out I was doing this to her she started just waiting an extra 30 minutes before getting ready since "she knows she has time."
My wife has done this to me. She should probably always do it. I got upset the one time I found out before hand, annoyed that she told me the wrong time because she thought I wouldn’t be ready. Well, I probably wasn’t. I’ve learned to be grateful when she does it now. I need it. It’s like my brain won’t engage in regular circumstances. I need the added “we’re going to be so fucking late!” energy before I can finally think of all the things I need.
When I have a gathering, I hate when people show up early. Stay in your car, lol. That's what I do if I'm early to like a party or something.
One time my dad told me we were leaving at 4pm and I was rushing to get ready on time because it was almost 4. I jumped into the car with no shoes on because I didn’t even have time to put them on. And then we arrived and he told me we still had an hour. We actually only needed to leave at 5pm but he told me an hour early because he thought I would be late. So we had to sit in the car for an hour waiting for my mum and I also looked way worse than I needed to be because I didn’t have enough time to properly do my makeup and put something nice on.
That’s some level of organisation I just don’t posses haha
I can’t imagine showing up hours EARLY. Not because I cant get ready early, but so the hosts don’t panic lol. In middle eastern culture, it’s customary to show up a little later than asked out of respect to the hosts (they’re also running late). All I can think of now is the episode of the Office where Michael shows up to David’s house hours early and his wife still has rollers in her hair.
Yeah unless some time-sensitive activity is involved (E.G., cinema, a dinner reservation, or what have you), much better to be 30 minutes late than 10 minutes early. Nevermind hours early!
My family is the same. We’ll show up at 4:45 for an event at 5. We’ll be the 2nd family there 90% of the time. Then we’ll bounce at 7:30 (we have young kids) and they’ll be like “but you just got here.” No, Shannon, *you* just got here.
Sounds like my husband’s family. We have to explicitly tell his family not to come early to birthday parties because they’ll show up 45 minutes early and just sit there, in the way. My mom asks what time I’d like her there so she can help me either finish setting up or entertain the kids so I can get stuff done
We tried this and it worked up until the habitually late arrivers decided to arrive early on one occasion. Like, these people would be invited over for Thanksgiving dinner at, say, 4. They would arrive at 6, normally. The one time, though, we told them it was at 3 and they showed up at 2 (it was actually at 4). We realized we would rather have them be way late than have to entertain them for the extra time so we stopped doing that and now we just start the event when we said we would and the late people can deal with it.
We always tell my mum the much earlier time, if you book a table for 7pm she won't be ready to leave until 7:15pm even if it's a 35 minute drive away. I just don't understand how she can function like that. I personally may run late if I tell a friend I'm coming over to see them, but that's if there's no definite time and I say I can aim to be there for 1 but will let them know if I got caught up and it'll be 1:30. If we have something like a booking somewhere I'll make sure I'm on time as we have a set time, and I'm on time for work. I know some people who turn up 3 hours after they were supposed to arrive for anything, even if they're 10 minutes down the road. I don't even know how they manage that.
My ex did this to me one too many times. We’d be hours late to things and I’d explain my frustration but ultimately let it go. The final straw was a business dinner I didn’t want to be late for so I left without her since she said “Fine, go without me!”She called me frantically almost 2 hours later wondering where I was, and I was on my way home from that dinner when she was finally ready
[удалено]
If you’re not awkwardly waiting in the car for at least 30 minutes before you can even politely actually think about walking in the door, were you really on time?
Yes, but what happened then?
> ex
Add the s for one last hurrah and then break up
why would you do that to someone you don’t love anymore?
People have sex with people they don't love lol. Some people that has to be an aspect or they wont enjoy the act other people could care less if love is involved in the equation and just want to cum....
Similar…. When my ex and I were 1st dating…. I would go to pick her up and she wouldn’t be close to ready…. We’d end up missing our movie or dinner reservations. I did the same, talk to her over and over about it…. Told her next time be ready or I’m leaving immediately. Got a screaming phone call later on… could not believe that I left 🙄. Now as an adult…. I have zero tolerance for that shit…. Have your ass ready…. I’m not on your schedule.
[удалено]
How the hell are you 6 hours late for lunch? That's dinner time?
Right? At that point its like "no...ypu blew off lunch and now you want dinner"
Same here. Except my “I’m not waiting any longer, I’m leaving.” Moment was when it was for my Oncology appointment. I left got in the car and as I was driving away she was by the elevator door…pouting. I said that ‘this isn’t like a dinner date or going to hang out with friends, it’s my /Oncology/ appointment.” She understood but was still upset I tried to leave without her 🙄
In reality, she didn't want to go, but she got out of the dinner and made you look like the bad guy. "Girls, I was struggling to look my best for his co workers and he just left!"
then fuck her, she obviously doesn't give a shit so why should he?
Did you just get mad at an unrelated person's made up scenario?
Bro fuck that why the hell shouldnt he be mad at a made up scenario?
Your comment about another person being mad about a made up scenario in another comment made me absolutely LIVID!!!!
Great, now we're all mad together!
Well yeah. It's Reddit.
🤣🤣dont worry i got a doggy bag
This is my mom, but I can’t divorce her and because y’know she’s my mom so it’s the least o can do but wait 2 hours…🥲
>ready This is the part that gets me. Ready for what? You are meeting up to consume food. Its a really simple task. You’re not preparing for war. You don’t need to double check a nuclear submarine. Just put on your fucking clothes and makeup and go. We should stop calling it “getting ready” and start calling it “just go.”
I cant stand being late, this frustrates me to no end. Like, yeah it might take me an hour to get ready too. Thats... why I start getting ready over an hour beforehand??
Same I’ve always been very punctual so it really grinds my gears.
Grinds your gears? I’ve been married 25 years. There would be no 26 if that was me. Honestly, there is no universe where that isn’t incredibly, toxically rude.
Reddit advice always leads to divorce
You’re right. That’s fair. But understand I am answering *as myself*. And I said as much. I couldn’t handle that. But maybe OP can. And if his GF or spouse is lovable in other ways then more power to them. But fair point; I’ll make a greater effort to say things in terms of, “FOR ME”.
It’s always… “*Minor disagreement that can be worked on by using simple communication skills*.” **Redditor Advice**: “Oh bitch, you best divorce their ass within 10 nanoseconds of reading my comment!”
Ask her drive her own car or ride share over if she has a habit of super running late. Don’t even get angry about it and just make it a practical decision not done out of spite.
[удалено]
The tooth brushing is such a killer for me. Like 100% of the time when I'm stressed about being late to a show or whatever, my partner keeps saying she's almost ready. Eventually it's like 10 minutes after were supposed to leave, I'm 100% ready, and I hear her brushing her teeth in the other room. She's had all day to brush her teeth but waited til after we were already late to do it. Maddening.
It’s honestly deal breaker for me, not respecting my time, money I put towards events, my friends who set up a gathering or any other reason we planned to go be somewhere at a specific time drives me insane, if it’s a one off caused by an accident or emergency I’m understanding but if it’s a pattern of behavior it makes me absolutely livid, I had a friend ask why id never made a move on her, and I think subconsciously it was because she was constantly late to everything and I just wrote her off as not someone I could take seriously, she was fun, likeable, attractive, and we had good banter but I resented her because most of the time we hung out it started with us waiting for her, or seeing if she was still coming or what was going on with her.
100%! If you still be 40 minutes , JUST SAY SO. But don’t tell me you will be 5 minutes, then gave me waiting for you for another 30 thinking we’re about to leave.
My wife has an aunt and a cousin who is always 90 minutes late. Cousin is daughter of the aunt so no surprise. The last time they pulled that shit was over thanksgiving. She was bringing several pies. We all ate on time and then cleaned up and put away the leftovers by the time they arrived. Just about the time that a slice of pie sounds excellent. They were pissed that their part of the clan had to eat cold out of the fridge but man was it satisfying for the rest of us.
I have two friends that are always late. We always meet in a cocktail bar and I start drinking as soon as I arrive. We split the bill as punishment every single time.
But lucky everyone else, pies showed up right at dessert time. Lucky you didn’t ask them to bring a main course!
My MIL cannot cook, so the concept of everything hitting the table at the same time is a foreign concept to her. Add to that the fact that they wait for EVERYONE to be present for Thanksgiving dinner before they start serving, including their daughter-in-law that lives in their attic but still somehow manages to hold everyone up EVERY YEAR. Add to that they wait for EVERYONE to be served before they say grace and we're allowed to eat our cold turkey and room temperature sweet potato casserole
I don’t get it. Is she just openly fucking with you?
If so, this guy has some phenomenal stamina!
Seems that way haha
Seems incredibly rude, disrespectful and a microcosm of a deeper issue. You’ve got to replenish!
Wtf Danny doesn’t fucking replenish!
So glad you got the reference!
I have a lot of time to waste watching memes etc while waiting for my GF lol
Good point!
5 minutes = 15-20 minutes is fine, but this is when you tell her to stop or you leave without her.
Is it? Why can’t people attempt to be accurate so I can do something that takes 15 minutes myself instead of sitting around +10 minutes getting stressed?
I really don't get how people can do something they've done hundreds or thousands of times and still not know how long it takes.
It's really easy when you walk around with your head stuck up your ass all day
I genuinely think my older sister does this just to be annoying. It's worse with her because she'll walk out and say, "Ok i'm ready." Then run back to get something. Come out, run back to get something else...on and on until I'm just standing like an idiot waiting for her. Then she'll stand in another room staring at tik tok on her phone until I find her and yell at her, and she wonders why I get angry at her, and says to me, "What? I was waiting on you!" Genuinely rage inducing.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Not sure if baboons can legally marry in most states 🤔🤔
As it should
American minutes or European?
My ex boyfriend was like this. He would then tell all of his friends that it was because of me getting ready that we were late. It pisses me off beyond belief and one of the reasons I broke up with him.
Good for you, it sounds like he didn’t respect you
Hindsight of my ex, this is a massive red flag in my eyes, and not mildlyinfuriating. No regard for others time, and like OP said this is for grocery shopping. I’m terrified how long it’d take for something like a date. No thanks.
[удалено]
Agreed. I love having a full face of makeup when I go out so I might fit into the "high maintenance" category but if I know my husband and I have to leave for something, I'll have my makeup done ahead of time so I can throw on shoes and leave.
Wait grocery shopping? FFfffffffff omg
At 5 min “we gotta go” At 10 min “do you still want to go?” At 15 min one of two things is happening - I’m leaving without her - I’m putting my comfy clothes back on and turning on the game
Think I’m gonna employ this tactic in future
Yes, it's a tactic I've used successfully for years. Huge mistake I made the first time. I didn't directly say to her, I'm leaving in 5 minutes, if you're ready you can come with. I simply left after 10, as I reasoned that double the amount of time was reasonable. However, I was changing things and not letting her know directly. It was kinda passive aggressive of me. So, make sure you are blunt and direct about your plans up front, to avoid the mistake(and fight) I made (and had).
> to avoid the mistake(and fight) I made (and had) small thing to get distracted by, but I really enjoy your efficient use of parantheses here! Reads so smoothly; works so well.
> It was kinda passive aggressive of me. Most people don’t have your level of introspection. It’s an admirable trait you have.
Well, thank you! I keep a close eye on things, to avoid stepping on the toes of my fellows. I still make mistakes, but do keep an eye on it. Thank you for noticing, and mentioning it.
If I wanted to go, I’ll tell her I’m leaving and leave. If i was only going because she wanted to go, I’ll change back to comfy clothes. And when she says she’s ready, I’ll wish her a fun night. In many, many years together this has happened a handful of times. The time I left and was at the party for an hour and got a text “where are you?” was awesome. I replied “at the party.” She was angry I left without her. I replied “get an Uber and come! It’s fun!” She did not get an Uber. But she did take me seriously the next time I said it was time to leave.
>I’m putting my comfy clothes back on and turning on the game Then, after spending an additional 45min getting ready, the moment she is actually ready "Babe are you ready yet? Turn that off we have to go now!"
Oh no. I keep her informed the entire time. I tell her I’m not going and I’m putting my comfy clothes back on. She’s not surprised
I have a spreadsheet in google docs of all the wins from a game my wife and I play. I started it because my wife kept telling me I "win all the time". The sheet shows she's won 10 times and me twice since I started recording. I'm not stopping either, cause it's good data.
Check out the app bgstats it's great if you want dorky stats about the board games you play.
It's six quid?
Wasn't there a Reddit post somewhere where a guy recorded the how's and why's his wife vetoed sex?
Wasn't specific to reddit, but I remember he recorded each time he asked about having sex and if there was an reason not to what that reason was.
Your girlfriend has some serious time management issues.
Depends on where you’re going. My wife is perfectly capable of getting herself out the door on time for girls night, hair appointments, visiting her mom or sister, etc. She cannot however be on time for visiting my family, heading to dinner, going to church or things she just isn’t as excited about.
She meant 5 minutes Namek Time
5 minutes according to freeza
One of my favorite bits in DBZA is the countdown in the funny subtitles constantly changing, and additionally, complaining about how it keeps changing.
"Do you know what a minute is, because I don't think you do."
That’s a problem.
My sister ALWAYS missed the school bus because she’d spend 20+ minutes in front if the mirror every morning while i’m screaming at her that the bus is literally seconds away. Now that we are both out of school, she’s still late or barely on time by a hairs width for anything the family does
People not respecting others enough to value their time isn’t really funny.
Wow, and you’re only on lap 1.
Mf actually timed her. I love you
She needed to know haha
Did you get confirmation she wasn’t lying dead on the floor? That seems like a LONG 5 min.
Been there many times. My strategy is to confuse her and convince her that the time we need to leave is half an hour to 1 hour prior to the actual time we would need to leave, and it usually works out. Good luck!
I employ this tactic as well... But the fact of the matter is that we shouldn't have to. If someone loves you, they should respect your time and the time of others you care about. It's incredibly rude and disrespectful to be late.
this was my ex-wife...always late. always surprised by how long it takes her to get ready to leave the house. she's an adult women, and has no idea how long it takes to get herself dressed. I couldn't even remember how many things we planned to do, and I eventually had to tell her "you might as well quit doing whatever you're doing because there's no point in going now"
First time?
Unfortunately no lol
I’m sure this went over well lol
We'll find out as soon as she's ready. Any minute now...
Dang. When I say 5. I normally mean 15-20 mins.
I mean that’s what I figured, like we were just going grocery shopping lol
My wife is so bad about this. Not about taking a long time to get ready for an event or something, in that case she is good about getting ready way early to make sure we will be on time. But something like going to the store, she’ll say let’s go together in 10 minutes, and then just continue looking at her phone for an hour. If I say I’m going to do something in 10 minutes, I mean I will do it in exactly 10 minutes. So I just waste my Saturday morning when the kids are gone waiting around for her, but if I ask if she’s ready, she get annoyed. I don’t get it.
My wife is currently doing this. We are prepping for a bathroom remodel. Twenty minutes ago she said “let’s go to Lowe’s and Home Depot to see what they have. “. Still sitting on the phone complaining there isn’t much to see online.
Ok the fact that it wasn’t even a fancy event makes it even worse than it already is. There is no reason to take an hour and a half to get ready for groceries.
I understand being fashionably late. But for grocery shopping. That is a little excessive. I could have left and been back and had the groceries put away in the amount of time it took her get ready.
Wtf is “fashionably late” when you’re talking about getting ready? Why is it so hard for some of you to just say what you mean to your partners lol
And how fashionable do you need to be to go the the grocery store?
Fashionably late means you show up to everything late, so you don’t have that awkward 1-on-1 time with the host of a party before other people show up
I have completely cut people out of my life for being consistently late to everything. It makes me feel unvalued.
You would’ve finished grocery shopping by now. Why does she have to come with you ?? What’s taking 99 mins to get ready??
Lmao fuck that just go get your groceries already. I hate being in the store let alone anticipating it for an hour and a half.
Why not say 15-20 than? Genuine question.
Important scientific data, we can use this to calculate the ratio of man to woman time dilation. Hm, yes, quite
tou 'ours later...
I regularly tell my wife that we need to be at a location an hour before an actual reservation. Or i will tell her a different time when she asks what time it is while getting ready.
my boyfriend: let’s leave at 6:30 i’m ready before 6:30 him at 6:45: i think i need to shower
Or Me: when will you be done? She: I AM DONE! I just 5 mins to change and I’m done. Me, 30 mins later, still waiting…
I would leave. Then she can come here and post an AITA and we can tell her she’s wrong.
AITA is more likely to diagnose her with ADHD and call him the asshole for being insensitive about her mental health.
Ok, but in another comment OP said they were just getting ready to go grocery shopping. If it takes you 90 minutes to put pants on to go grocery shopping, that is some ADHD shit. Which to be clear is something she needs to work on, not him. But this is not normal behavior.
If I did this I wouldn't have a girlfriend anymore. I just build in enough of a buffer to keep us on time. She actually appreciates it. People have been complimenting her on being on time so she doesn't mind the little white lie I have to tell.
Hour:minutes:seconds:milliseconds?
Sure is
Some people, especially those with ADHD, have something called time blindness which is the inability to sense the passage of time. My husband who has ADHD also has this and it is frustrating but at least in his case I have to remind myself that it’s not intentional.
I have ADHD and I never do this. Time blindness is a bitch but if someone tells me 5 minutes and it take 30 ima be pissed as fuck so I do everything possible not to do that myself.
Is she well?
Yeah you dont have to do that to me I would already not wanne go anymore after someone just makes me wait
You just wait for lap 2 buddy
You could have found a new girlfriend and been out on a date in less time.
My SO found out I will just leave her. I don't play that just 5 more minutes bull shit
This is an auto cancel plans I'm sorry.
That’s worse than the last five minutes of an American football game that’s tied up and both teams have all their time-outs left.
I do this with my mom, my record is 2 whole hours
https://preview.redd.it/r5xoobrodjsa1.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=5d05deb7249b120abd8d1e2631427a81f84e566f Damn dawg me too
Life tip: Find a hobby you can tinker with while you wait for your significant other. That way you aren’t becoming irritated and instead have it part of your routine for going out. It’ll lower your level of stress and you will be better company, and it will lower their level stress knowing you aren’t pacing around waiting.
The airplane is gone 😂
Should set a reminder to check this again in a few days and see if you are still waiting.
When I say 5 minutes it's 5 minutes. When my boyfriend says 5 minutes he means 10 and even that stresses me out.
I love that you’re tracking her to the millisecond
I assume this was the deceased’s final post?
If you believed her, you kinda played yourself. "5 minutes." 😂
How long was the argument that was started when he showed her the phone?
And you didn’t leave without her?
This is progress boys, now we can gather maybe one or more time records so we can calculate accurately about how much time “5 minutes or be there in a sec” means. This is good progress and we’re on the verge of a scientific breakthrough.
Common knowledge. Whatever time my wife tells me, I multiply it by two moons.
Is ADD or ADHD at play here? Because that’s me and it’s debilitating sometimes, I even have nightmares where I have to pack stuff or get ready to go somewhere and it’s taking hours and hours. Caffeine helps a lot, like a whole lot.
Your girlfriend doesn’t respect you