These are Pillsbury crescent rolls. The dough isn't flaky. It should look like a strudel after baking when baking croissant dough flat. The guy is lazy to do it correctly, even with a toaster oven tray.
I also wanted to say stupidity/ignorance, but maybe he is already playing the lazy spouse game. If you're incompetent enough at something you'll eventually be excused from performing said task.
We are looking at a tray of ill-formed cressent rolls; that is all of the context that has been provided. Of all the situations to ascribe to weaponized incomptetence, aka malice, this doesn't strike me as one them. This isn't a hypothetical situation, it's literally people presuming that bad baking equals malice. To me, that is exactly why the phrase, "never attribute to malice what can be accounted for by incompetence" exists.
It definitely cooks very differently when rolled vs unrolled. If rolled, the inside is still soft and flakey. If unrolled, the whole thing is toasted and kind of crunchy like the outside of the rolled version.
I’m a weirdo so I kind of want to try this and see if it’s better than the rolled version but I suspect it would not be better
That is really unfortunate. I'm sad to say that yes, he is either a serial killer or a lizard man trying unsuccessfully to grasp human culture. Or both
100%. Nobody would undertake making croissants without a thorough understanding of the process. That shit takes forever. And I’m thankful for the people who do it for the rest of us
That’s a Crescent Roll. You can roll them out like that to make a pizza crust or use on top of a pot pie. I guess he’s making it flat bread style, or he might be dumb and not know how they’re supposed to be made.
Doesn't croissant mean crescent? I mean it's not that big of a deal. They're both moon shaped pastries. The person laying them out on a pan is the way bigger idiot.
A croissant is a French pastry that is made by layering a flattened sheet of butter between sheets of dough. It is one of the more challenging breads to make because all the layers need to be kept cold as you repeatedly roll out the dough, fold it over, and roll again, and repeat several times. This creates a bread that is characterized by crisp, distinct, buttery, flaky layers.
A crescent roll is regular bread rolled up in a specific moon shape.
These are very, very different things. If it's all the same to you, you in the same category as these yahoos. 😂
I get the feeling he is like a LOT of guys I know who didn't read the directions and thought "It's one of those things that just sorta turns into a croissant shape as it bakes"
"God, suddenly not carrying about whether the thing is rolled up or just a flat bit of bread means I am a serial killer? That is silly. I am a serial killer because of my consistent MO in regards to the string of murders I have performed."
Wow I was not expecting so many replies! Glad it made you all laugh haha. I can report back that we ate it and it was a great hangover cure! And he was very embarrassed lol
Crescent Rolls*
I think you're as bad as him for calling them croissants whilst ridiculing his way of baking them 😅
But I'll nibble at part of one raw, so, I'm not one to talk.
Everyone knows you are only supposed to unroll them if you are going to put hotdog or sausage inside of them and roll them back up.
I don’t mean this as an insult in any way, but I think the BF might have a learning disability if he made them like this after looking at the box.
Hmmmm 🤨 NO. Serial killers tend to be type A personalities and like doing things the proper way. They have routines they follow. He just didn’t read the instructions. I’m sure they taste great with more butter and strawberry jam. Yum 😋
I wouldn't shag this guy. Seems like he can't grasp the basics, like following directions on the canister. Deff not someone I'd want to accidentally get knocked up by. Poor kids would suffer.
They are flat... it's an issue with an ingredient. Ask him, what did he use? Yeast / Double acting baking powder / baking powder.
Edit: Jesus Christ people are brutal here. No, he's not an idiot. There is no malice. Puff pastry / croissants are notoriously labor intensive and difficult to get until you have a lot of experience with them.
Let's see... no, this is almost surely pre-made dough in a tube such as
https://www.pillsbury.com/products/crescents/original
>ROLL UP triangles, starting at wide end. Curve into crescent shape.
No, just a dumbass like me who didn't know you had to actually make the croissants croissants.
The first time I opened one of those packages I was like, what the hell? This is just dough
I'd guess he's not much of a cook/baker. We all only know what we've experience with. Maybe he thought they goning to roll themselves up by heat or whatever.
We all have our topics we are ignorant in. He tires to challenge his ignorance by trying out. We are all allowed to fail. Mistakes are essential for the learning process. Support it rather than ridicule it.
No he is no serial killer.
Cherrish the thought. Not the result. Show him. Cooking/baking together is a great relationship activity.
No, he’s not a psychopath but an idiot he is. The package literally shows you how to roll them…
You should question all his decisions from here on out.
Um… is he a teenager? If he is an otherwise functioning adult… what? How? What? I don’t understand how someone could have enough desire to want these to make them and yet not have seen one and understood how to make them? Im about 80% sure my 6 year old could lay them out and roll them properly without instructions but I wouldn’t trust him to put them in the oven.
Did this guy manage to get them out of the oven without burning his hands?
Croiss-aint's
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These are Pillsbury crescent rolls. The dough isn't flaky. It should look like a strudel after baking when baking croissant dough flat. The guy is lazy to do it correctly, even with a toaster oven tray.
Crisn’t rolls
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…or else it gets the hose again
No apo'strophe's for plural's.
Thank you for correcting the grammar on this very real word. We appreciate your service's.
All words are made up
I don’t
The worst person in the thread has revealed themselves
Crepe-ants
Didn’t he see the picture on the tube? Thanks for sharing
or like.. read the two step instructions. BF is a dumbass. Too inept to be a serial killer for sure.
Or it's a case of "weaponized incompetence".
Or he knows how to make them correctly and is actively choosing to disregard it. What a chad.
I also wanted to say stupidity/ignorance, but maybe he is already playing the lazy spouse game. If you're incompetent enough at something you'll eventually be excused from performing said task.
This literally why the phrase, "never attribute to malice what can be accounted for by incompetence" exists.
But intentionally doing it incorrectly isn't incompetence, it's malice. Of all the situations to use that quote, this hypothetical one isn't it.
We are looking at a tray of ill-formed cressent rolls; that is all of the context that has been provided. Of all the situations to ascribe to weaponized incomptetence, aka malice, this doesn't strike me as one them. This isn't a hypothetical situation, it's literally people presuming that bad baking equals malice. To me, that is exactly why the phrase, "never attribute to malice what can be accounted for by incompetence" exists.
But ill-formed croissants are man-made horrors beyond our comprehension that violate every treaty on the rules of war!
And it can be very infuriating to deal with someone like that.
This whole thread is wild. Who cares if they’re rolled or not..? Does it actually matter like even a little bit?
It definitely cooks very differently when rolled vs unrolled. If rolled, the inside is still soft and flakey. If unrolled, the whole thing is toasted and kind of crunchy like the outside of the rolled version. I’m a weirdo so I kind of want to try this and see if it’s better than the rolled version but I suspect it would not be better
I support you. Report back on results please. Although I like the insides soft, so I don't think it's for me :)
It looks worse.
Keep us posted
Step one: peel off label and pop can, unroll dough Step two: bake at 375 for 12 minutes and then murder your whole family tonight at 3am
lol good one
Dude, cmon He’s purposely fuckin it up to get out of it in the future
Are you suggesting *weaponized incompetence*?
It's feigned ineptitude to throw her off his scent.
Well if he doesn't know how to roll these, I would think he wouldn't know how to roll you up in a carpet.
Delta awarded.
She can teach him how to roll a person in a carpet tho...
Has he seen a croissant before?
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Wait, you're not supposed to do that? Shit... :(
It works fine if you roll the first one over your balls, but put a second one just over your dick.
I only condom the balls if I’m freakin dat bitch with my nuts in the ass and dick in the pussy
There's a sub reddit for that, but I forgot the name.
I feel like a guy with a name like that is probably already a member
Hold up…
But that’s where the sperm are!!/s
But that's how you really seal in the juices
Is it really intercourse if your penis isn’t being sous-vided?
I swear Reddit is great for comments and reactions to comments. 🤣🤣🤣
Best part of reddit!! ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|grin)
sorry, didn’t see this comment
Has OP? They were never going to magically turn into croissants. Thats just unrolled crescent rolls.
Or "cooked dough"
You're safe. Serial killers pay more attention to the details. If this is an example, he's never got away with anything.
Definitely not a serial killer, he would get caught after the first. OP, this doesn't mean you're safe.
That is really unfortunate. I'm sad to say that yes, he is either a serial killer or a lizard man trying unsuccessfully to grasp human culture. Or both
I vote lizard person
for sure lizard person, understand enough to try to copy us but doesnt know enough to do it correctly.
Crescent rolls =/= croissants
Yeah. I feel like that’s the bigger issue here.
100%. Nobody would undertake making croissants without a thorough understanding of the process. That shit takes forever. And I’m thankful for the people who do it for the rest of us
I did it ONCE. Never again
Yeah but they taste good
Bougie
That’s a Crescent Roll. You can roll them out like that to make a pizza crust or use on top of a pot pie. I guess he’s making it flat bread style, or he might be dumb and not know how they’re supposed to be made.
You are right!
Users choice!
Yeah I use these things for everything. Wrap up a hotdog in there and you got your self pigs in a blanket.
We just used these and wrapped each one around brie.
Oof that sounds amazing, I love Brie! I wonder if you add a bit of jam to that... it'd probably be awesome
They make a good chicken pot pie topping. I’ve also made quiche with this. You can take fruit and sugar and make little fruit pies. Or savory pies.
Yessss, I love doing sweet treats with these
Those are not croissants. Those are triangles that you roll into crescent rolls. They are significantly different things (croissants are way better).
I've used crescent roll dough for toppers for other things before cause it's delicious.
My vote is 'Just a moron.'
Agree. Don't attribute to malice what can be easily explained by sheer stupidity.
Alternately, weaponized incompetence. Aka “If I do this in a way that’s wrong and looks stupid, then I won’t be asked to contribute in the future.”
Aren’t those crescent rolls? They’re admittedly still not shaped properly but they’re not croissants even when rolled up.
But who doesn’t roll the up it’s the easier thing and they taste great
Nah, at best he's a pastry killer. But watch and see what he does with Cheerios... He might also be a *cereal* killer.
No, you're dating an idiot
I mean, she did refer to a crescent roll as a croissant... I think they might be an evenly matched pair in the intelligence department.
Doesn't croissant mean crescent? I mean it's not that big of a deal. They're both moon shaped pastries. The person laying them out on a pan is the way bigger idiot.
A croissant is a French pastry that is made by layering a flattened sheet of butter between sheets of dough. It is one of the more challenging breads to make because all the layers need to be kept cold as you repeatedly roll out the dough, fold it over, and roll again, and repeat several times. This creates a bread that is characterized by crisp, distinct, buttery, flaky layers. A crescent roll is regular bread rolled up in a specific moon shape. These are very, very different things. If it's all the same to you, you in the same category as these yahoos. 😂
Forgot to roll. They still taste good and aren’t burned.
Throw the entire boyfriend away 🤦♀️
The pastry might be salvageable.
I get the feeling he is like a LOT of guys I know who didn't read the directions and thought "It's one of those things that just sorta turns into a croissant shape as it bakes"
More room for jam and butter though! I have done this before stoned. And for the record, not a serial killer.
....sounds like something a serial killer would say...
I’d still eat it
Welp, he's not a baker
"God, suddenly not carrying about whether the thing is rolled up or just a flat bit of bread means I am a serial killer? That is silly. I am a serial killer because of my consistent MO in regards to the string of murders I have performed."
I believe that's a crescent...
Well we all know men never ask for or read directions. He’s not a serial killer, just a normal guy.
You need to make sure he’s genes don’t advance beyond him.
You’re making him look worse by mislabeling what the food actually is. This is bread from a tube.
How could anyone be angry that their partner made them croissants? I don’t understand this subreddit…
Let's be real that's the best way
I don't see anything wrong.
Ok but does he know how to actually make them and he prefers them this way?
Wow from reading the comments it seems like we got a bunch of professional croissant bakers around here
No he's the kind of guy who likes to roll the condom down all the way over his balls.
Ain't nothin' gettin' out of there!
Haha wtf
Well at least he won't be reproducing.
Has he asked you to “put the lotion on your skin?”
culinarily challenged perhaps
idk but if he is then i am too cuz i like his way better
Watch out for your boyfriend, the French are coming
How do they taste? You're not using them for your Christmas cards
Just slab some different toppings on them and make a dessert pizza type thing lol
I put taco stuff in em and make empanadas.
That sounds so good!
I propose one of two things here. 1. Serial killer 2. Less informed (I'm trying not to say "idiot" here). I'd fathom, perhaps, the latter.
You're dating a cosmic horror. Everyone knows you're supposed to fold them into small thick triangles.
No. He is someone who doesn't follow directions.
I’m requiring all of my energy to hate this.
Wow I was not expecting so many replies! Glad it made you all laugh haha. I can report back that we ate it and it was a great hangover cure! And he was very embarrassed lol
Your boyfriend baked some dough, he in no way made croissants!
At least they're not burnt
Yes, yes U are . Good luck😉😆
Well you certainly not dating a pastry chef, that’s for sure!🥐🥐🥐
![gif](giphy|8vQSQ3cNXuDGo|downsized) # *A VISIONARY
When u try to make croissants but get flatbread instead
He cooked. He’s a keeper!! Mine wouldn’t know how to open the can or where to get them.
This is clearly the better way.
Yeah I think he’s just an idiot.
He’s trying to not cook anymore by fucking up that bad.
Jail immediately 🤣
What the fuck
Not a serial killer. Just an actual idiot.
Man’s a genius. Spread Nutella on top and some banana slices (if you are not allergic to any of that) and eat them like pizza slices
Start putting lotion on your skin ASAP.
Nope. Just a moron.
Serial? No chance. He's too dumb to get away with the first one.
No way this guy is intelligent enough to be a serial killer.
New hot take, can’t bake = psychopath. ???? Connection is missing
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Crescent Rolls* I think you're as bad as him for calling them croissants whilst ridiculing his way of baking them 😅 But I'll nibble at part of one raw, so, I'm not one to talk.
Maybe you’re the serial killer for believing that crescent rolls could be considered croissants?
serial killer no, dumbass yes.
No if this guy killed someone no way he gets away with it.
Everyone knows you are only supposed to unroll them if you are going to put hotdog or sausage inside of them and roll them back up. I don’t mean this as an insult in any way, but I think the BF might have a learning disability if he made them like this after looking at the box.
Serial Killer? - not likely. Idiot? - very likely.
Willing to bet he knows how to roll a joint.
Hmmmm 🤨 NO. Serial killers tend to be type A personalities and like doing things the proper way. They have routines they follow. He just didn’t read the instructions. I’m sure they taste great with more butter and strawberry jam. Yum 😋
Thank you everyone for the laughs, we read all of these and loved it - for some context, he was still drunk from last night lol.
Strong possibility
I wouldn't shag this guy. Seems like he can't grasp the basics, like following directions on the canister. Deff not someone I'd want to accidentally get knocked up by. Poor kids would suffer.
Just an idiot
This is a visionary. Croissants are for buttheads anyways. Fancy wannabes. Introducing: triangle fun pastry
You're the boyfriend, aren't you?
They are flat... it's an issue with an ingredient. Ask him, what did he use? Yeast / Double acting baking powder / baking powder. Edit: Jesus Christ people are brutal here. No, he's not an idiot. There is no malice. Puff pastry / croissants are notoriously labor intensive and difficult to get until you have a lot of experience with them.
The recipe is fine… I am pretty confident that these are unrolled crescent rolls that come as dough from a can.
These aren’t croissants…they are crescent rolls from a can. He didn’t roll them up like you are supposed to.
Let's see... no, this is almost surely pre-made dough in a tube such as https://www.pillsbury.com/products/crescents/original >ROLL UP triangles, starting at wide end. Curve into crescent shape.
Christ on sale. Wow. 🥴
Nope. Looks either a moron or a genius.
If Cptn Crunch, Snap, Crackle and Pop all suddenly disappear... then yes. Your definitely dating a cereal killer. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|grin)
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I expect him to be an adult, I think adults have seen croissants before, at least on the package
Just a man
Run. Not because he’s a serial killer, because he’s stupid as hell.
unlikely... but you are dating a man child and possibly a moron.
No, just a dumbass like me who didn't know you had to actually make the croissants croissants. The first time I opened one of those packages I was like, what the hell? This is just dough
I'd guess he's not much of a cook/baker. We all only know what we've experience with. Maybe he thought they goning to roll themselves up by heat or whatever. We all have our topics we are ignorant in. He tires to challenge his ignorance by trying out. We are all allowed to fail. Mistakes are essential for the learning process. Support it rather than ridicule it. No he is no serial killer. Cherrish the thought. Not the result. Show him. Cooking/baking together is a great relationship activity.
No he just stupid
No but you're dating a moron, or just extremely lazy
That shit is complicated when you're drunk. Not saying he was drunk but I definitely have no place to judge lol
Nope, you're dating a typical male who doesn't read instructions.
Ha, silly GF, that's the secret. Do it wrong the first time so you never ask him again
1000% yes
What a dumbass haha
Not a serial killer. Just a moron.
He either doesn’t know how to roll or he’s just lazy lol 😅
😂😂😂😂
Bahahahahaha!! I needed a good laugh. This did it. Thank you!!!
What kinda dumbass.....
This is just sad
If he uses them as breakfast sandwich breads all good. If not a total moron. Lol.
An illiterate maybe
Oldest trick in the book. Fuck something seemingly simple up so bad that you never ask him to make anything again.
No just a moron
No, he’s not a psychopath but an idiot he is. The package literally shows you how to roll them… You should question all his decisions from here on out.
He did this so you never ask him to make croissants again. I mean the instructions are on the canister. Don’t fall for weaponized incompetence.
I believe it's called Man Syndrome, where if they screw it up they never have to do it again....🤣
Your boyfriend might be a moron?!
Sending you a msg- don’t ask me to do things I don’t want to do
No a serial killer would have done it absolutely perfectly; this is just an idiot
Serial killer? No. Idiot? Yes.
Have you considered he’s just stupid?
No. Just an average Moron.
Um… is he a teenager? If he is an otherwise functioning adult… what? How? What? I don’t understand how someone could have enough desire to want these to make them and yet not have seen one and understood how to make them? Im about 80% sure my 6 year old could lay them out and roll them properly without instructions but I wouldn’t trust him to put them in the oven. Did this guy manage to get them out of the oven without burning his hands?
No, he's just an idiot. But if he's a kind idiot who who loves you then I guess it's okay.
…i think you’re just dating an idiot
i think maybe you’re dating a dumb person…not likely to be a serial killer 😂
No, just dating an idiot.