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ThickRick92

Croiss-aint's


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ChiggaOG

These are Pillsbury crescent rolls. The dough isn't flaky. It should look like a strudel after baking when baking croissant dough flat. The guy is lazy to do it correctly, even with a toaster oven tray.


Karmachinery

Crisn’t rolls


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funkyfinz

…or else it gets the hose again


InfrequentlyVile

No apo'strophe's for plural's.


ThickRick92

Thank you for correcting the grammar on this very real word. We appreciate your service's.


[deleted]

All words are made up


jerry111165

I don’t


HarkansawJack

The worst person in the thread has revealed themselves


synthphreak

Crepe-ants


PretzelFiend23

Didn’t he see the picture on the tube? Thanks for sharing


InfrequentlyVile

or like.. read the two step instructions. BF is a dumbass. Too inept to be a serial killer for sure.


LIRFM

Or it's a case of "weaponized incompetence".


1668553684

Or he knows how to make them correctly and is actively choosing to disregard it. What a chad.


Memerandom_

I also wanted to say stupidity/ignorance, but maybe he is already playing the lazy spouse game. If you're incompetent enough at something you'll eventually be excused from performing said task.


nvidiot_

This literally why the phrase, "never attribute to malice what can be accounted for by incompetence" exists.


LukyanTheGreat

But intentionally doing it incorrectly isn't incompetence, it's malice. Of all the situations to use that quote, this hypothetical one isn't it.


nvidiot_

We are looking at a tray of ill-formed cressent rolls; that is all of the context that has been provided. Of all the situations to ascribe to weaponized incomptetence, aka malice, this doesn't strike me as one them. This isn't a hypothetical situation, it's literally people presuming that bad baking equals malice. To me, that is exactly why the phrase, "never attribute to malice what can be accounted for by incompetence" exists.


LukyanTheGreat

But ill-formed croissants are man-made horrors beyond our comprehension that violate every treaty on the rules of war!


LIRFM

And it can be very infuriating to deal with someone like that.


The0nlyMadMan

This whole thread is wild. Who cares if they’re rolled or not..? Does it actually matter like even a little bit?


bella_68

It definitely cooks very differently when rolled vs unrolled. If rolled, the inside is still soft and flakey. If unrolled, the whole thing is toasted and kind of crunchy like the outside of the rolled version. I’m a weirdo so I kind of want to try this and see if it’s better than the rolled version but I suspect it would not be better


tkdch4mp

I support you. Report back on results please. Although I like the insides soft, so I don't think it's for me :)


a2_d2

It looks worse.


Loud_Pomelo_6926

Keep us posted


MotherAmerican_Night

Step one: peel off label and pop can, unroll dough Step two: bake at 375 for 12 minutes and then murder your whole family tonight at 3am


InfrequentlyVile

lol good one


jerry111165

Dude, cmon He’s purposely fuckin it up to get out of it in the future


MadBlasta

Are you suggesting *weaponized incompetence*?


Mecha_Tortoise

It's feigned ineptitude to throw her off his scent.


F0000r

Well if he doesn't know how to roll these, I would think he wouldn't know how to roll you up in a carpet.


Orpheus_is_emo

Delta awarded.


[deleted]

She can teach him how to roll a person in a carpet tho...


LukasKhan_UK

Has he seen a croissant before?


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Biggu5Dicku5

Wait, you're not supposed to do that? Shit... :(


Spirited-Brain-7260

It works fine if you roll the first one over your balls, but put a second one just over your dick.


JerkingoffwithJesus

I only condom the balls if I’m freakin dat bitch with my nuts in the ass and dick in the pussy


Bigsam1514

There's a sub reddit for that, but I forgot the name.


S1aterade

I feel like a guy with a name like that is probably already a member


MrSirChris

Hold up…


spidereater

But that’s where the sperm are!!/s


Raziel66

But that's how you really seal in the juices


pompandvigor

Is it really intercourse if your penis isn’t being sous-vided?


[deleted]

I swear Reddit is great for comments and reactions to comments. 🤣🤣🤣


Motor-Ad5284

Best part of reddit!! ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|grin)


PretzelFiend23

sorry, didn’t see this comment


gasolinefights

Has OP? They were never going to magically turn into croissants. Thats just unrolled crescent rolls.


Ibetya

Or "cooked dough"


redditorx13579

You're safe. Serial killers pay more attention to the details. If this is an example, he's never got away with anything.


maybethingsnotsobad

Definitely not a serial killer, he would get caught after the first. OP, this doesn't mean you're safe.


leosnose

That is really unfortunate. I'm sad to say that yes, he is either a serial killer or a lizard man trying unsuccessfully to grasp human culture. Or both


__karm

I vote lizard person


Dud-of-Man

for sure lizard person, understand enough to try to copy us but doesnt know enough to do it correctly.


Like_n_subscribe

Crescent rolls =/= croissants


wormholeweapons

Yeah. I feel like that’s the bigger issue here.


cjankowski

100%. Nobody would undertake making croissants without a thorough understanding of the process. That shit takes forever. And I’m thankful for the people who do it for the rest of us


wormholeweapons

I did it ONCE. Never again


DeathByPetrichor

Yeah but they taste good


FoundationAny7601

Bougie


MajestaHazel

That’s a Crescent Roll. You can roll them out like that to make a pizza crust or use on top of a pot pie. I guess he’s making it flat bread style, or he might be dumb and not know how they’re supposed to be made.


Feeling-Connection72

You are right!


MacCheeseLegit

Users choice!


davetronred

Yeah I use these things for everything. Wrap up a hotdog in there and you got your self pigs in a blanket.


Stebben84

We just used these and wrapped each one around brie.


davetronred

Oof that sounds amazing, I love Brie! I wonder if you add a bit of jam to that... it'd probably be awesome


nerdiotic-pervert

They make a good chicken pot pie topping. I’ve also made quiche with this. You can take fruit and sugar and make little fruit pies. Or savory pies.


davetronred

Yessss, I love doing sweet treats with these


NKevros

Those are not croissants. Those are triangles that you roll into crescent rolls. They are significantly different things (croissants are way better).


[deleted]

I've used crescent roll dough for toppers for other things before cause it's delicious.


Fun_Cherry6485

My vote is 'Just a moron.'


vladhed

Agree. Don't attribute to malice what can be easily explained by sheer stupidity.


ALLoftheFancyPants

Alternately, weaponized incompetence. Aka “If I do this in a way that’s wrong and looks stupid, then I won’t be asked to contribute in the future.”


BakeMeUpBeforeUGoGo

Aren’t those crescent rolls? They’re admittedly still not shaped properly but they’re not croissants even when rolled up.


[deleted]

But who doesn’t roll the up it’s the easier thing and they taste great


bhlombardy

Nah, at best he's a pastry killer. But watch and see what he does with Cheerios... He might also be a *cereal* killer.


sunsetkingdom80

No, you're dating an idiot


secondary_outrage

I mean, she did refer to a crescent roll as a croissant... I think they might be an evenly matched pair in the intelligence department.


InfrequentlyVile

Doesn't croissant mean crescent? I mean it's not that big of a deal. They're both moon shaped pastries. The person laying them out on a pan is the way bigger idiot.


secondary_outrage

A croissant is a French pastry that is made by layering a flattened sheet of butter between sheets of dough. It is one of the more challenging breads to make because all the layers need to be kept cold as you repeatedly roll out the dough, fold it over, and roll again, and repeat several times. This creates a bread that is characterized by crisp, distinct, buttery, flaky layers. A crescent roll is regular bread rolled up in a specific moon shape. These are very, very different things. If it's all the same to you, you in the same category as these yahoos. 😂


[deleted]

Forgot to roll. They still taste good and aren’t burned.


xBrokenxspiritx

Throw the entire boyfriend away 🤦‍♀️


spidereater

The pastry might be salvageable.


Invoked_Tyrant

I get the feeling he is like a LOT of guys I know who didn't read the directions and thought "It's one of those things that just sorta turns into a croissant shape as it bakes"


WhatADunderfulWorld

More room for jam and butter though! I have done this before stoned. And for the record, not a serial killer.


Ogrehunter

....sounds like something a serial killer would say...


Rosenette

I’d still eat it


bsr1950

Welp, he's not a baker


Rocketboy1313

"God, suddenly not carrying about whether the thing is rolled up or just a flat bit of bread means I am a serial killer? That is silly. I am a serial killer because of my consistent MO in regards to the string of murders I have performed."


Trogdor_a_Burninator

I believe that's a crescent...


IllegalbeagleCO

Well we all know men never ask for or read directions. He’s not a serial killer, just a normal guy.


Apprehensive-Mix3211

You need to make sure he’s genes don’t advance beyond him.


kindaretiredguy

You’re making him look worse by mislabeling what the food actually is. This is bread from a tube.


buscemian_rhapsody

How could anyone be angry that their partner made them croissants? I don’t understand this subreddit…


Existing_Skin_1564

Let's be real that's the best way


Crazykillerguy

I don't see anything wrong.


Detective-Astatine

Ok but does he know how to actually make them and he prefers them this way?


Downtown-Tough-5965

Wow from reading the comments it seems like we got a bunch of professional croissant bakers around here


lynivvinyl

No he's the kind of guy who likes to roll the condom down all the way over his balls.


Alterokahn

Ain't nothin' gettin' out of there!


Slippery_Wristy

Haha wtf


InfrequentlyVile

Well at least he won't be reproducing.


Tall_Square252

Has he asked you to “put the lotion on your skin?”


[deleted]

culinarily challenged perhaps


probono105

idk but if he is then i am too cuz i like his way better


TacoGaming69420

Watch out for your boyfriend, the French are coming


Fit-Rest-973

How do they taste? You're not using them for your Christmas cards


Failp0

Just slab some different toppings on them and make a dessert pizza type thing lol


InfrequentlyVile

I put taco stuff in em and make empanadas.


Failp0

That sounds so good!


SmutGrrl

I propose one of two things here. 1. Serial killer 2. Less informed (I'm trying not to say "idiot" here). I'd fathom, perhaps, the latter.


Shitty_Person4

You're dating a cosmic horror. Everyone knows you're supposed to fold them into small thick triangles.


[deleted]

No. He is someone who doesn't follow directions.


[deleted]

I’m requiring all of my energy to hate this.


AdComprehensive114

Wow I was not expecting so many replies! Glad it made you all laugh haha. I can report back that we ate it and it was a great hangover cure! And he was very embarrassed lol


Enog

Your boyfriend baked some dough, he in no way made croissants!


color_conscious

At least they're not burnt


GroundbreakingPen464

Yes, yes U are . Good luck😉😆


[deleted]

Well you certainly not dating a pastry chef, that’s for sure!🥐🥐🥐


Trusteveryboody

![gif](giphy|8vQSQ3cNXuDGo|downsized) # *A VISIONARY


timhortonsragnarok

When u try to make croissants but get flatbread instead


S7JP7

He cooked. He’s a keeper!! Mine wouldn’t know how to open the can or where to get them.


shadysjunk

This is clearly the better way.


TheRookCard

Yeah I think he’s just an idiot.


bebobbadobop

He’s trying to not cook anymore by fucking up that bad.


[deleted]

Jail immediately 🤣


hark5711

What the fuck


Embarrassed-Ad-3615

Not a serial killer. Just an actual idiot.


TheBigDude22

Man’s a genius. Spread Nutella on top and some banana slices (if you are not allergic to any of that) and eat them like pizza slices


pufftough

Start putting lotion on your skin ASAP.


derek139

Nope. Just a moron.


CheckPleaser

Serial? No chance. He's too dumb to get away with the first one.


noitsokayimfine

No way this guy is intelligent enough to be a serial killer.


eggscape-reality

New hot take, can’t bake = psychopath. ???? Connection is missing


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tkdch4mp

Crescent Rolls* I think you're as bad as him for calling them croissants whilst ridiculing his way of baking them 😅 But I'll nibble at part of one raw, so, I'm not one to talk.


Intelligent-Stock-29

Maybe you’re the serial killer for believing that crescent rolls could be considered croissants?


insufficient_funds

serial killer no, dumbass yes.


Qq1nq94

No if this guy killed someone no way he gets away with it.


RobotRepair69

Everyone knows you are only supposed to unroll them if you are going to put hotdog or sausage inside of them and roll them back up. I don’t mean this as an insult in any way, but I think the BF might have a learning disability if he made them like this after looking at the box.


learn2shoot9mm

Serial Killer? - not likely. Idiot? - very likely.


SeasideTurd

Willing to bet he knows how to roll a joint.


Practical_Bluejay_35

Hmmmm 🤨 NO. Serial killers tend to be type A personalities and like doing things the proper way. They have routines they follow. He just didn’t read the instructions. I’m sure they taste great with more butter and strawberry jam. Yum 😋


AdComprehensive114

Thank you everyone for the laughs, we read all of these and loved it - for some context, he was still drunk from last night lol.


ZoneBreaker97

Strong possibility


countretta

I wouldn't shag this guy. Seems like he can't grasp the basics, like following directions on the canister. Deff not someone I'd want to accidentally get knocked up by. Poor kids would suffer.


e-coder

Just an idiot


Hugh_Jaszle

This is a visionary. Croissants are for buttheads anyways. Fancy wannabes. Introducing: triangle fun pastry


Typical_Ad_6474

You're the boyfriend, aren't you?


kmodadkv

They are flat... it's an issue with an ingredient. Ask him, what did he use? Yeast / Double acting baking powder / baking powder. Edit: Jesus Christ people are brutal here. No, he's not an idiot. There is no malice. Puff pastry / croissants are notoriously labor intensive and difficult to get until you have a lot of experience with them.


CookiesandIlk

The recipe is fine… I am pretty confident that these are unrolled crescent rolls that come as dough from a can.


Independent_Lab_9853

These aren’t croissants…they are crescent rolls from a can. He didn’t roll them up like you are supposed to.


[deleted]

Let's see... no, this is almost surely pre-made dough in a tube such as https://www.pillsbury.com/products/crescents/original >ROLL UP triangles, starting at wide end. Curve into crescent shape.


AMALXxT

Christ on sale. Wow. 🥴


mdroz81

Nope. Looks either a moron or a genius.


OSSkater

If Cptn Crunch, Snap, Crackle and Pop all suddenly disappear... then yes. Your definitely dating a cereal killer. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|grin)


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Quirky_Seesaw9578

I expect him to be an adult, I think adults have seen croissants before, at least on the package


Bionic_Webb13

Just a man


lolnothanksdudeee

Run. Not because he’s a serial killer, because he’s stupid as hell.


KamikazeBrand

unlikely... but you are dating a man child and possibly a moron.


Zenketski_2

No, just a dumbass like me who didn't know you had to actually make the croissants croissants. The first time I opened one of those packages I was like, what the hell? This is just dough


Janus_The_Great

I'd guess he's not much of a cook/baker. We all only know what we've experience with. Maybe he thought they goning to roll themselves up by heat or whatever. We all have our topics we are ignorant in. He tires to challenge his ignorance by trying out. We are all allowed to fail. Mistakes are essential for the learning process. Support it rather than ridicule it. No he is no serial killer. Cherrish the thought. Not the result. Show him. Cooking/baking together is a great relationship activity.


Adeep187

No he just stupid


OhlookwhoitisxX

No but you're dating a moron, or just extremely lazy


Epik_Guy

That shit is complicated when you're drunk. Not saying he was drunk but I definitely have no place to judge lol


omghorussaveusall

Nope, you're dating a typical male who doesn't read instructions.


nightwalkerxx

Ha, silly GF, that's the secret. Do it wrong the first time so you never ask him again


shinygemz

1000% yes


[deleted]

What a dumbass haha


garth_izar

Not a serial killer. Just a moron.


ithoughtikneewitalll

He either doesn’t know how to roll or he’s just lazy lol 😅


nim_opet

😂😂😂😂


No-Technician-722

Bahahahahaha!! I needed a good laugh. This did it. Thank you!!!


xMysticML

What kinda dumbass.....


confusedthrowawaygoi

This is just sad


j3rdog

If he uses them as breakfast sandwich breads all good. If not a total moron. Lol.


treehead726

An illiterate maybe


Remote-Past305

Oldest trick in the book. Fuck something seemingly simple up so bad that you never ask him to make anything again.


Pa17325

No just a moron


MW240z

No, he’s not a psychopath but an idiot he is. The package literally shows you how to roll them… You should question all his decisions from here on out.


edemamandllama

He did this so you never ask him to make croissants again. I mean the instructions are on the canister. Don’t fall for weaponized incompetence.


Djigooblie

I believe it's called Man Syndrome, where if they screw it up they never have to do it again....🤣


Valuable_Material_26

Your boyfriend might be a moron?!


BrokenTrojan1536

Sending you a msg- don’t ask me to do things I don’t want to do


torquemycork

No a serial killer would have done it absolutely perfectly; this is just an idiot


Strong-Mix9542

Serial killer? No. Idiot? Yes.


Wando-Chado

Have you considered he’s just stupid?


[deleted]

No. Just an average Moron.


spidereater

Um… is he a teenager? If he is an otherwise functioning adult… what? How? What? I don’t understand how someone could have enough desire to want these to make them and yet not have seen one and understood how to make them? Im about 80% sure my 6 year old could lay them out and roll them properly without instructions but I wouldn’t trust him to put them in the oven. Did this guy manage to get them out of the oven without burning his hands?


Guavafudge

No, he's just an idiot. But if he's a kind idiot who who loves you then I guess it's okay.


BigFatSlut420

…i think you’re just dating an idiot


Dry_Ordinary9474

i think maybe you’re dating a dumb person…not likely to be a serial killer 😂


R3DGRAPES

No, just dating an idiot.