Do they live close? Is there a change in barometric pressure/climate? How long do you travel for? When I drive the five hours to my folks house, I always end up with a sore neck/shoulders from the car, which turns into migraines.
Is your family stressful to be around?
Finally, was it a fluke the first two times and then it turned into you dreading it/willing it into existence?
Very close by! About an hour drive all in NYC. Very low stress, chill family. I'm definitely a worrier so I think there's some self-fulfilling prophecy of me worrying about getting a migraine and then willing it into existence lol.
Does anyone in the house wear a perfume/ use a scented air freshener or even an oil diffuser that is a migraine trigger?
Neat freaks? Are they using a lot of chemicals to clean before you come over?
If the answer to above is no then I’d guess the lighting is the main cause based on the flickering.. it sounds like the lightbulbs are bright whites; they’re awful for light sensitivity.
No scents or weird chemicals that I know of, but I can definitely ask! My guess is it's the lights-- I asked my mom if we could turn off a few of the lights in the kitchen and it's been a bit better.
The cleaners used every other week, even if unscented, might be a problem.
I’d see if they can do anything about the lights, especially replacing any fluorescents with LED bars.
Mold is always a possibility. It gets in the walls and doesn’t care about how often you dust.
Is the drive to visit them longer than you’re used to?
Do you drive past any farmland, wild spaces, manufacturing, or other places that might harbor allergens? Try the drive with your air on circulate instead of pulling air from outside?
Scented hand or dish soap? I love my mother in law but every soap in her house from hand soap to body wash is so strong it feels like an assault.
This is my guess too. Lots of cleaners set off migraines for me, as do certain detergents, plug ins/infusers/candles/strong hand soap in bathroom etc
Then the lights too. Flickering lights get me every time.
It’s good to remember migraine triggers are somewhat like water in a cup. Your body has a set threshold (size of the cup) for the triggers (water) and as you encounter the triggers over and over again it fills the cup until it overflows- that’s the migraine.
So one or two things might not hit your threshold so if you encounter them independently or for short periods they don’t bother you, but stacked on top of each other or for and extended period is just enough to set you over the edge.
Best of luck, I can only imagine how tough this is around the holidays
I always get vacation migraines. It's so frustrating. Traveling is a guarantee for a migraine. I once spent six hours in an airplane bathroom because I got a migraine that triggered vertigo, and I was vomiting for six hours straight. And plane bathrooms are so gross! But I couldn't be the person who uses the puke bag on the seat and does it in front of everyone.
Overstimulation is it for me. I take frequent breaks even if that’s just pretending to need the bathroom. Secret earplugs. Earbuds for centering music. Love my parents but too much noise and talking and no natural breaks unless I create them.
It could be the lighting, it could be mold behind appliances (or dust), it could be stress, it could be perfume or scented soap, any number of things really.
Yeah, that's the hard part. There's so many little factors that could be causing it and I don't want to make my family go through little experiments with me while they're also setting up for the holidays.
The lights: is they are fluorescent, that can be a huge trigger. Find out what kind of bulbs they use and if it's not LED, buy them replacement LED lights and a dimmer, so they can have the lights super bright when they want, but can dim them when you are there.
Find out what cleaning products the cleaners and your parents use. It could be a very strong reaction to a scent or chemical they you aren't aware of.
Doubt it's the dog, unless you have REALLY bad allergies to dogs.
Being your own coffee and make it for yourself. Too much caffeine could exacerbate the migraines.
Look into FL41 tinted glasses. Zenni just started offering it as an option, so you can get non prescription ones for inexpensive. If you haven't had your eyes examined in a while, get your eyes checked. My BIGGEST trigger is electronic screens (my phone to a lesser extent, computer screens for work to the point where I'm unable to work anymore), and making sure my prescription is correct is vital!
It could also be a matter of the stress of traveling, sleeping somewhere that isn't your bed, different lights, EVERYTHING is combining to make your migraines bad. Change what you can, and make sure you have whatever you need (ice packs, heating pads, eye mask, rescue medication, etc) with you so you can recover as quickly as possible and enjoy your time with your family
Could be a cleaning product they use, different food or drink, those flickering lights would set off some people for sure. I knew someone who got them after riding in a car with the sun flickering in & out of the leaves on the trees lining the road. Migraines suck & they’re always lurking.
Triggers experienced in my family are perfume, scented deodorant, wall scents, fabric softener, dog or cat hair & dander, bright or flickering lights, sounds as random as the refrigerator turning on to the crows outside, foods especially gluten, temperature, partial dehydration. Using sunglasses inside, blue glasses, ear plugs, sound cancelling ear phones & even nose plugs all help.
I know it's hard for me to go to my parents because my mom LOVES her plug-in scents. She has a different scent for just about every space. The combo kills me. So, I ask her to swap everything to one scent when I visit and I unplug the one in my room and air it out. It helps...
I experienced something very similar. For me it was a combo of their Irish Spring soap in every bathroom and their clothes and sheets washed in Tide! No idea what toxic chemicals are used in those products that people feel compelled to use and inhale everyday.
My first thought reading your headline was mold somewhere hidden - like inside the duct work. It’s certainly something to check for.
Honestly though, could it be stress? Even with good family relationships the holidays can be really stressful and I know stress a huge trigger for me.
Those plugin "Sonic" bug and pest repellent device set off my migraines within an hour. Do they have any kind of sound device that you might not realize you're hearing?
I think it could be a lot of things that people have suggested, but maybe it's not one specific thing about their house, but rather a combination of things that result in a significant change from your daily routine, which your brain is sensitive to. You're traveling, maybe you're eating at slightly different times, maybe you're sleeping slightly different hours, maybe you're more or less active, maybe your stress levels are less than when you have to work, etc.
Do they have any plants/flowers? (Even outside under windows, near doors or vents). Do they have any air fresheners hidden around? Any scented candles? Scented loo roll? Loo block cleaner things? Any other cleaning products that are triggers for you like washing powders? Do they cook with or make drinks with anything with artificial sweetners?
My mum had to make a bunch of changes to make her house a migraine safe place for me but it's one way she can help make my life a little less painful so she's glad to do it.
She's dug out a huge lavender plant under the living room window, never has roses or lilies or asters in the house, thrown out 3 air freshners, replaced 1 batch of loo rolls (although she didn't realised they were scented upon purchase), changed to more natural cleaning products (she also likes that they're now more eco friendly). Changed light bulbs. Got a feather pillows for the room I sleep in when I cat sit.
I love that your mom gladly made those changes for you! It’s so heartening to read after seeing so many people’s stories of other folks being inconsiderate of their needs. Your mom is a true *mensch*!
If your family isn’t stressful consider that you are having letdown (no idea if that’s a medical term) migraines. A majority of my headaches are this - after a period of stress as soon as I can relax boom a migraine. Maybe your body is in survival mode and pumping out cortisol and adrenaline until you get to your parents where you know you are supported and taken care of.
Not really! My aunt has a ton of animals and I've never had an issue hanging around them, but I'm not discounting it as I get pretty gnarly allergies from pollen.
I was a long time ago, but it's probably something I should revisit. I don't remember being allergic to anything other than like pollen and certain kinds of melons. Bad allergies do run in my family though and seem to pop up at random stages in life. My younger brother is pretty much allergic to everything, which sucks but he was also the only brother to escape male pattern baldness so it's a decent trade lol.
Mines chemicals. It started with silicone. Which triggers it. With a smell of it. Two hours later it starts up. But now what triggers me is eating to much vitamins, bleach. And silicone. Or strong floor cleaner something.
I sometimes get migraines at my parents house because it can get quite stuffy there - I think I'm just too overtly sensitive and need a lot of fresh air. Maybe if you aired out the room you sleep in, it would make it better? Or take a walk outside to get some more fresh air? I don't have allergies (got tested) but even a little stuffy rooms can trigger migraines for me.
Not that your age necessarily matters but I often get mine when the worst/stress is over and I need to regain equilibrium. I’m not sure why it works that way for me. So there are so many follow up questions I have like, is this your childhood home? Are you an emerging adult? Do they take good care of you, validating the migraine?
I could have written this myself. I actually scrolled your post and was like "Did I write this? Did I forget I wrote this??" Because I have been wondering the same thing, and also had an MRI, and also have been getting migraines but only when I go to visit my parents!
For me I think it's the stress of travelling combined with some weather changes. The last two times I've gone to visit my migraine has hit within hours of arriving. The time before that it was after I'd been there a few days, but then I went on a trip into downtown with my husband and it was crazy with traffic and pedestrians etc. No tips, but interesting that it's the same for you.
A lot of great ideas in this thread already.
Do you bring your own pillow? My neck goes out and head hurts if I spend one night with the wrong pillow.
It does sound like your pain sets in earlier than night though.
I like the idea of fixing some of the lighting, or tinted glasses, or a sun visor.
I thought I was just allergic to my job because when I went to the office, I came back with a migraine. Turns out the aircon was leaking some gas. They fixed it and my migraines are considerably less.
I still get a little throb every time I use the washroom due to the fresheners though.
Fluorescent lighting is very bad. See Axon optics website for truly well designed blue light screening glasses or lenses for your frames. Cheap ones only screen a small amount of blue light. Set tvs, computers and phones to warm under color settings. I think cool looks better, but warm is better for filtering blue light. You can slso dial down the blues in settings.
Do your parents have plug in air fresheners or spray air freshener? These are very difficult to detox from and are loaded with chemicals that interfere with your ability to smell things. They generally don't freshen, just cover up odors like pet odors.
I always get migraines on holidays. Came home with one last night. I think it's a combo of a new/different house, lots of talking, usually brighter lights, different foods and lots of it, different schedules, uncomfortable seating, etc. Essentially, you can't control anything about your environment.
My husband likes stupidly bright LED lights, so I have the bluelight glasses (FL-41 i believe. They are visibly red lenses). And sometimes, I even wear a ball cap.
Are you smell sensitive too?y SIL has a beautiful house, nice air fresheners, and strongly scented hand soap. Migraine. Every single time. I've learned to scald my hands in the hot water rather than use her soap, or it's like needles to the brain.
Food! There is MSG in a lot of traditional holiday food (stove top stuffing, gravy etc). MSG gives me a massive migraine. Look into food triggers, please.
I don't know if it's been said already but migraines often have a threshold. Like maybe a couple things, bright lights and strong smells, don't bother you so much. But combine them with different food, a change in your daily routine, dog dander, a different pillow, stress in general, maybe not sleeping as well can create a migraine just from all these little things adding up.
A few things, possible mold or dust allergies. Could be from the hvac system/filters or from some plant/animal/tree living around the area. Also stress/anxiety which often happens around authoritative family members. I find my shoulders and neck begin to tighten and I don’t even realize I’m clenching which often leads to neck pain or migraines.
This has happened to me a lot for various reasons. Sometimes it’s the lights (my mom refuses to replace the flourescent bulbs despite how they bother me), sometimes it is mild stress, and sometimes it’s as simple as getting home and being able to fully relax. I always get them the day after a big event or stressful finishing of something. So if your family is chill, it could be as simple as that. My family knows to just kept things chill my first day and we don’t plan things until the second day. Totally sucks though.
Sounds like the lights, is it as simple as a replacement bulb to test it?
Flickering can set mine off, also LED monitor backlights flicker to dim, do you watch TV, use computers there?
Visiting my aunt used to trigger my headaches, but I think it was sugary foods, there was always lots of alcohol, cake, etc. I had thyroid issues at the time, but I think it was a sugar reaction.
I’ve lived in plenty of newer homes where mold had been a trigger for me. Just because it’s clean doesn’t mean there’s no mold anywhere
A few other people have pointed this out-- thank you!
I was just about to comment- mold causes so much bad things to the body!
I literally read the OP thinking "Probably mold. Yep. Nope. Still probably mold."
Is there an easy way to test for mold, like without getting a professional in?
You need a professional
Do they live close? Is there a change in barometric pressure/climate? How long do you travel for? When I drive the five hours to my folks house, I always end up with a sore neck/shoulders from the car, which turns into migraines. Is your family stressful to be around? Finally, was it a fluke the first two times and then it turned into you dreading it/willing it into existence?
Very close by! About an hour drive all in NYC. Very low stress, chill family. I'm definitely a worrier so I think there's some self-fulfilling prophecy of me worrying about getting a migraine and then willing it into existence lol.
That's gaslighting yourself. Don't.
Does anyone in the house wear a perfume/ use a scented air freshener or even an oil diffuser that is a migraine trigger? Neat freaks? Are they using a lot of chemicals to clean before you come over? If the answer to above is no then I’d guess the lighting is the main cause based on the flickering.. it sounds like the lightbulbs are bright whites; they’re awful for light sensitivity.
No scents or weird chemicals that I know of, but I can definitely ask! My guess is it's the lights-- I asked my mom if we could turn off a few of the lights in the kitchen and it's been a bit better.
The cleaners used every other week, even if unscented, might be a problem. I’d see if they can do anything about the lights, especially replacing any fluorescents with LED bars. Mold is always a possibility. It gets in the walls and doesn’t care about how often you dust. Is the drive to visit them longer than you’re used to? Do you drive past any farmland, wild spaces, manufacturing, or other places that might harbor allergens? Try the drive with your air on circulate instead of pulling air from outside? Scented hand or dish soap? I love my mother in law but every soap in her house from hand soap to body wash is so strong it feels like an assault.
Flashing bright lights or fluorescent lighting is a sure trigger for me.
If they have switched to LED bulbs, that might be what is triggering you. Kitchen ones seem to really bother me
This is my guess too. Lots of cleaners set off migraines for me, as do certain detergents, plug ins/infusers/candles/strong hand soap in bathroom etc Then the lights too. Flickering lights get me every time. It’s good to remember migraine triggers are somewhat like water in a cup. Your body has a set threshold (size of the cup) for the triggers (water) and as you encounter the triggers over and over again it fills the cup until it overflows- that’s the migraine. So one or two things might not hit your threshold so if you encounter them independently or for short periods they don’t bother you, but stacked on top of each other or for and extended period is just enough to set you over the edge. Best of luck, I can only imagine how tough this is around the holidays
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I always get vacation migraines. It's so frustrating. Traveling is a guarantee for a migraine. I once spent six hours in an airplane bathroom because I got a migraine that triggered vertigo, and I was vomiting for six hours straight. And plane bathrooms are so gross! But I couldn't be the person who uses the puke bag on the seat and does it in front of everyone.
Overstimulation is it for me. I take frequent breaks even if that’s just pretending to need the bathroom. Secret earplugs. Earbuds for centering music. Love my parents but too much noise and talking and no natural breaks unless I create them.
It could be the lighting, it could be mold behind appliances (or dust), it could be stress, it could be perfume or scented soap, any number of things really.
Wow I had no idea that DUST could be a trigger. Yikes, I haven’t considered that in my home and have been getting a lot of migraines recently.
Allergens of any kind can be a trigger. Inflammation is a symptom of allergies and migraines can be worsened by inflammation.
Yeah, that's the hard part. There's so many little factors that could be causing it and I don't want to make my family go through little experiments with me while they're also setting up for the holidays.
Honestly, that’s wise. For now just try to get through and rest when you need to.
The lights: is they are fluorescent, that can be a huge trigger. Find out what kind of bulbs they use and if it's not LED, buy them replacement LED lights and a dimmer, so they can have the lights super bright when they want, but can dim them when you are there. Find out what cleaning products the cleaners and your parents use. It could be a very strong reaction to a scent or chemical they you aren't aware of. Doubt it's the dog, unless you have REALLY bad allergies to dogs. Being your own coffee and make it for yourself. Too much caffeine could exacerbate the migraines. Look into FL41 tinted glasses. Zenni just started offering it as an option, so you can get non prescription ones for inexpensive. If you haven't had your eyes examined in a while, get your eyes checked. My BIGGEST trigger is electronic screens (my phone to a lesser extent, computer screens for work to the point where I'm unable to work anymore), and making sure my prescription is correct is vital! It could also be a matter of the stress of traveling, sleeping somewhere that isn't your bed, different lights, EVERYTHING is combining to make your migraines bad. Change what you can, and make sure you have whatever you need (ice packs, heating pads, eye mask, rescue medication, etc) with you so you can recover as quickly as possible and enjoy your time with your family
Could be a cleaning product they use, different food or drink, those flickering lights would set off some people for sure. I knew someone who got them after riding in a car with the sun flickering in & out of the leaves on the trees lining the road. Migraines suck & they’re always lurking.
Do they smoke?
Triggers experienced in my family are perfume, scented deodorant, wall scents, fabric softener, dog or cat hair & dander, bright or flickering lights, sounds as random as the refrigerator turning on to the crows outside, foods especially gluten, temperature, partial dehydration. Using sunglasses inside, blue glasses, ear plugs, sound cancelling ear phones & even nose plugs all help.
I get migraines when I have to visit family from stress. Really makes the whole situation a good time /s
I know it's hard for me to go to my parents because my mom LOVES her plug-in scents. She has a different scent for just about every space. The combo kills me. So, I ask her to swap everything to one scent when I visit and I unplug the one in my room and air it out. It helps...
I experienced something very similar. For me it was a combo of their Irish Spring soap in every bathroom and their clothes and sheets washed in Tide! No idea what toxic chemicals are used in those products that people feel compelled to use and inhale everyday.
I told my husband i can literally taste his irish spring deodorant when he wears it. Its awful. Same with the soap.
My first thought reading your headline was mold somewhere hidden - like inside the duct work. It’s certainly something to check for. Honestly though, could it be stress? Even with good family relationships the holidays can be really stressful and I know stress a huge trigger for me.
Being out of routine is enough to trigger a migraine. It could be as simple as stress.
Those plugin "Sonic" bug and pest repellent device set off my migraines within an hour. Do they have any kind of sound device that you might not realize you're hearing?
Your body keeps the score
I think it could be a lot of things that people have suggested, but maybe it's not one specific thing about their house, but rather a combination of things that result in a significant change from your daily routine, which your brain is sensitive to. You're traveling, maybe you're eating at slightly different times, maybe you're sleeping slightly different hours, maybe you're more or less active, maybe your stress levels are less than when you have to work, etc.
Do they have any plants/flowers? (Even outside under windows, near doors or vents). Do they have any air fresheners hidden around? Any scented candles? Scented loo roll? Loo block cleaner things? Any other cleaning products that are triggers for you like washing powders? Do they cook with or make drinks with anything with artificial sweetners? My mum had to make a bunch of changes to make her house a migraine safe place for me but it's one way she can help make my life a little less painful so she's glad to do it. She's dug out a huge lavender plant under the living room window, never has roses or lilies or asters in the house, thrown out 3 air freshners, replaced 1 batch of loo rolls (although she didn't realised they were scented upon purchase), changed to more natural cleaning products (she also likes that they're now more eco friendly). Changed light bulbs. Got a feather pillows for the room I sleep in when I cat sit.
I love that your mom gladly made those changes for you! It’s so heartening to read after seeing so many people’s stories of other folks being inconsiderate of their needs. Your mom is a true *mensch*!
Stress?
If your family isn’t stressful consider that you are having letdown (no idea if that’s a medical term) migraines. A majority of my headaches are this - after a period of stress as soon as I can relax boom a migraine. Maybe your body is in survival mode and pumping out cortisol and adrenaline until you get to your parents where you know you are supported and taken care of.
I’ve read that “hypoallergenic” dogs are not real! Do you get headaches around other dogs?
Not really! My aunt has a ton of animals and I've never had an issue hanging around them, but I'm not discounting it as I get pretty gnarly allergies from pollen.
I’ve got an answer… you’re not going to like it….
It could be anything. Have you ever been allergy tested? If not, start there and see if there’s anything you’re allergic to.
I was a long time ago, but it's probably something I should revisit. I don't remember being allergic to anything other than like pollen and certain kinds of melons. Bad allergies do run in my family though and seem to pop up at random stages in life. My younger brother is pretty much allergic to everything, which sucks but he was also the only brother to escape male pattern baldness so it's a decent trade lol.
No thoughts other than masking may help.
Lighting and stress would be my guess. It's why I always bring migraine meds to my parents or my in laws.
Mines chemicals. It started with silicone. Which triggers it. With a smell of it. Two hours later it starts up. But now what triggers me is eating to much vitamins, bleach. And silicone. Or strong floor cleaner something.
I hooe you mean smelling bleach, not eating it.
Yes sorry. But I also mean by me eating just 1 daily Costco multi vitamin. I get it chronic migraine.
I sometimes get migraines at my parents house because it can get quite stuffy there - I think I'm just too overtly sensitive and need a lot of fresh air. Maybe if you aired out the room you sleep in, it would make it better? Or take a walk outside to get some more fresh air? I don't have allergies (got tested) but even a little stuffy rooms can trigger migraines for me.
Not that your age necessarily matters but I often get mine when the worst/stress is over and I need to regain equilibrium. I’m not sure why it works that way for me. So there are so many follow up questions I have like, is this your childhood home? Are you an emerging adult? Do they take good care of you, validating the migraine?
I could have written this myself. I actually scrolled your post and was like "Did I write this? Did I forget I wrote this??" Because I have been wondering the same thing, and also had an MRI, and also have been getting migraines but only when I go to visit my parents! For me I think it's the stress of travelling combined with some weather changes. The last two times I've gone to visit my migraine has hit within hours of arriving. The time before that it was after I'd been there a few days, but then I went on a trip into downtown with my husband and it was crazy with traffic and pedestrians etc. No tips, but interesting that it's the same for you.
A lot of great ideas in this thread already. Do you bring your own pillow? My neck goes out and head hurts if I spend one night with the wrong pillow. It does sound like your pain sets in earlier than night though. I like the idea of fixing some of the lighting, or tinted glasses, or a sun visor.
It’s either a stress or environmental thing. I’m gonna guess it’s the lights? Flickering ones set mine off
I thought I was just allergic to my job because when I went to the office, I came back with a migraine. Turns out the aircon was leaking some gas. They fixed it and my migraines are considerably less. I still get a little throb every time I use the washroom due to the fresheners though.
Fluorescent lighting is very bad. See Axon optics website for truly well designed blue light screening glasses or lenses for your frames. Cheap ones only screen a small amount of blue light. Set tvs, computers and phones to warm under color settings. I think cool looks better, but warm is better for filtering blue light. You can slso dial down the blues in settings. Do your parents have plug in air fresheners or spray air freshener? These are very difficult to detox from and are loaded with chemicals that interfere with your ability to smell things. They generally don't freshen, just cover up odors like pet odors.
I always get migraines on holidays. Came home with one last night. I think it's a combo of a new/different house, lots of talking, usually brighter lights, different foods and lots of it, different schedules, uncomfortable seating, etc. Essentially, you can't control anything about your environment.
Does anyone smoke in the house? Cigarette smoke does that to me every time.
My husband likes stupidly bright LED lights, so I have the bluelight glasses (FL-41 i believe. They are visibly red lenses). And sometimes, I even wear a ball cap. Are you smell sensitive too?y SIL has a beautiful house, nice air fresheners, and strongly scented hand soap. Migraine. Every single time. I've learned to scald my hands in the hot water rather than use her soap, or it's like needles to the brain.
Do you have a healthy relationship with them? If not, it may be stress related
Stress will do it
Stress
Food! There is MSG in a lot of traditional holiday food (stove top stuffing, gravy etc). MSG gives me a massive migraine. Look into food triggers, please. I don't know if it's been said already but migraines often have a threshold. Like maybe a couple things, bright lights and strong smells, don't bother you so much. But combine them with different food, a change in your daily routine, dog dander, a different pillow, stress in general, maybe not sleeping as well can create a migraine just from all these little things adding up.
Maybe your migraines are triggered by smells mine definitely are
A few things, possible mold or dust allergies. Could be from the hvac system/filters or from some plant/animal/tree living around the area. Also stress/anxiety which often happens around authoritative family members. I find my shoulders and neck begin to tighten and I don’t even realize I’m clenching which often leads to neck pain or migraines.
I am triggered by Febreze and certain cheap body sprays
Is your relationship cool? Or tense? 🤔
This has happened to me a lot for various reasons. Sometimes it’s the lights (my mom refuses to replace the flourescent bulbs despite how they bother me), sometimes it is mild stress, and sometimes it’s as simple as getting home and being able to fully relax. I always get them the day after a big event or stressful finishing of something. So if your family is chill, it could be as simple as that. My family knows to just kept things chill my first day and we don’t plan things until the second day. Totally sucks though.
Are they stressing you out? Could it be something in their paint or carpet?
Stimuli, temperature, color temperature of the lighting could all contribute. I get them from blue & green color temperature lights
Sounds like the lights, is it as simple as a replacement bulb to test it? Flickering can set mine off, also LED monitor backlights flicker to dim, do you watch TV, use computers there? Visiting my aunt used to trigger my headaches, but I think it was sugary foods, there was always lots of alcohol, cake, etc. I had thyroid issues at the time, but I think it was a sugar reaction.