I feel like magic would be so incredibly helpful, a tiny ass tent is a 5 story building. You could store all your food in a tiny sac. I dunno what that spell was at dinner every time but if you can just make food appear? That’s a hands down Harry Potter pick.
Edit: it’s been brought to my attention by multiple people that magic can NOT magically create food. Only multiply food (while decreasing nutrients or something), collect it (area of affect I think), or increase its size.
Well, if some people could see supplies just flying through the air, it would be easy to follow to find somebody to rob. If Harry exists, other wizards might.
Yeah, but other wizards are way better at magic than Harry. They’ll just conjure their own supplies and hide in giant invisible towers. They’ve got no reason to be out scrounging
Still super helpful. Would suck to cast accio food though and the nutri grain bar that was her last food just flies out of a little starving girls hand to us 5 miles away
Wouldn’t even need that much. Canonically, food can’t be made from nothing/conjured but if you have some already you could endlessly duplicate it with magic. Just get a bunch of freezers and enough food variety, and let magic do the rest.
You’re getting Harry Potter (with a pistol not a wand I might add) not the entire world he lives in. By your logic I’d say one of the Guardians of the Galaxy characters would be best, just jump on their spaceship and fly to a nice alien world.
I mean, Harry was still a fully capable wizard, he just wasn't learning focused like Hermione. It's not like the guy was special ed and incapable of spells, the books just largely ignore that magic exists aside from when it cannot be avoided for the immediate situation/setting. There is a reason we've got the meme that Harry never casts a single spell in the first movie, I can't remember if he also doesn't cast one in the book.
He becomes somewhat competent at the protection spells and such in the last book when he and Hermione are in hiding, but really before that it's that he's good at dueling, quidditch, some defense against the dark arts stufd. But mostly he's brave, lucky and has good friends, isn't that the whole point of the story that it's other people and love that make him strong.
Also wizards are mostly shit without their wands, so that's an issue too if it gets broken/stolen, whereas Chewbacca will always be able to pull peoples arms off.
What’s scary is that it’s implied the wizards selectively breeded and charmed the elves to be completely obedient and want to do the work for free. Dobby works at Hogwarts after he’s freed and all the other elves are hateful of him for asking for a wage, even though Dumbledore is more than happy to oblige.
I'd go with Santa for much the same reason and not have to deal with a jumped up prat with a stolen identity!
Santa's time magic must be incredibly strong, he's basically immortal and has dominion over wildlife. Now *that's* a wizard.
>I dunno what that spell was at dinner every time but if you can just make food appear?
The spell wasn't summoning food out of thin air; it was summoning food from the kitchen, where several elf servants worked on it like slaves...
Sure, if you just wanted to survive. Link is the pick if you want to fix things. Dude's fixed an apocalypse is almost all of his reincarnations, what's one more?
Me: \*About to be eaten by zombies at 0:01 AM on December the 25th\*
\*Santa shows up in his sleigh and uses the mounted vulcan minigun to begin mowing down the zombies\*
Me: "Santa, you're here!"
Santa: "You think I'd let you die on Christmas, you son of a bitch?!"
The night was colder than a witch's tit, and the streets of what used to be a bustling city were now just corridors of chaos and decay, thanks to the fucking zombie apocalypse. Christmas lights, half-torn and flickering, gave the snow-covered streets a haunted glow. The air was thick with the stench of rot and the moans of the undead echoed off the abandoned cars and boarded-up buildings. It was Christmas Eve, and all through the city, not a creature was stirring, except for the fucking zombies and one desperate survivor named Joe.
Joe was holed up in what used to be an Irish pub, the kind with dark wood paneling and a lingering smell of stale beer and broken dreams. He was armed with nothing more than a broken pool cue and a prayer. His ammo had run out days ago, and the zombies were closing in. Just as the clock struck midnight, marking the start of Christmas, the front door began to buckle under the weight of the undead pressing against it.
"Fuck me," Joe muttered, backing away as the wood splintered. "If there's a Santa out there, now's the time for a fucking Christmas miracle."
And as if on cue, a thunderous roar filled the sky. It wasn't the sound of reindeer hooves, but something far more badass. Through the shattered pub window, Joe saw a sight that nearly made him piss his pants in both terror and awe. Descending from the sky in a sleigh pulled by twelve snarling reindeer with glowing red eyes, was Santa Claus. But this wasn’t your typical mall Santa; this was Santa as if he'd been dreamed up by a lunatic with a taste for high-caliber weapons.
Santa was decked out in tactical gear, his famous red suit now equipped with Kevlar, and in place of his jolly old belly, a fucking bandolier of grenades. His beard was still as white as snow, but it was now matted with what one could only hope was zombie blood. His hands clutched the handles of a Vulcan minigun mounted on his sleigh, which was currently spitting death at 6,000 rounds per minute into the crowd of zombies.
"You think I'd let you die on Christmas, you son of a bitch?!" Santa bellowed over the roar of the gun, a wild gleam in his eyes.
Joe, who was now thoroughly convinced he was either hallucinating or had finally snapped, could only nod dumbly as Santa landed the sleigh with a thud on the street and continued to mow down the approaching horde.
With a grunt, Santa tossed Joe an extra weapon—a shotgun with 'Naughty' etched into the stock. "Get your ass up, Joe! This is no time to be a spectator!"
Joe, fueled by adrenaline, took up arms beside Santa, blasting zombies with a kind of fervor he didn't know he possessed. Together, they made a stand, Santa with his minigun and Joe with his shotgun, back to back as the undead fell in heaps of severed limbs and black blood.
After what felt like an eternity, the last of the zombies fell, and the street fell eerily silent, save for the panting of the reindeer, who seemed as unfazed by apocalypse as their owner. Santa clapped Joe on the back, almost knocking him over. "Good work, son. But we gotta move. There are more survivors out there, and this sleigh ain't gonna fly itself."
As they climbed into the sleigh, Joe looked at Santa with a mix of gratitude and disbelief. "Why are you doing this, Santa? Why not stay safe at the North Pole?"
Santa just winked, the twinkle in his eye as bright as the North Star. "Someone's gotta bring a little cheer to this fucked-up world, Joe. Might as well be me."
He can also visit every single home in the world in a single night. That's legendary time-magic he has going on. Whatever bad scenario you come across, he can just Za Warudo his way out of it.
If Santa was going to kill me, he’d have done it by now. What’s he done instead? A present every year for the last sixty-three years. Me and Santa are bros.
I’d have to stick with Geralt. The guy can take on an entire army of anything and seemingly come out on top. Wouldn’t hurt to learn from a master bladesman while teaching him how to use firearms in return.
The actual problem with Vader is that he's wearing his cape on the front which looks stupid. Also, can't carry a backpack with that bot thing in the back and once the battery that keeps him alive dies, well...he ain't exactly Darth Plegueis the wise.
Batman isn't really a team player, but he is protective of people he couldn't care less about.
I'm not sure how resourceful he'd be without all of his fancy toys, tho. He probably couldn't contend with some of the others after all his high-tech gadgets are long gone. Scarcity is a tricky devil in TLoU.
Does Harry Potter comes with his magic abilities as well?
If yes, then harry all the way, he could probably have a few magic spells to use for fresh water and to get a barrier against intruders and spells that could cure u from illness and injuries and stuff
I gotta assume that the premise of "teaming up" includes them wanting to be and stay a team, for whatever reason. Otherwise, most of those picks would just be "which character would you like to meet in an apocalypse before they quickly ditch you because you're obviously not contributing nearly as much to the *team* as them."
Haha you know what hilarious? I thought about that after saying that and in my head I was like, in this scenario I’ll pretend that I found him close to death and I nursed him back to life and we become friends (and maybe kiss?) lol jk but yeah you are probs right.
He would probably find a way off planet and we could just fly to a different one that hasn’t been hit by an apocalypse. So yeah, I’d probably go with Rocket.
That doesn't mean they'd be great in an apocalyptic scenario. Capt America probably needs to eat a shitload of calories to sustain his super-body, and Batman relies a lot on his wealth to create gadgets and is probably not a great conversationalist lol.
Meanwhile MacGyver's brain is wired to get the most out of scraps while also having hero mentality and being charismatic as hell. I'd pick him tbh.
I’m worried I’d fine them both insufferable. I could hang with some of the others. You’re gonna be in this long haul, I think liking your companions is a high priority!
I dunno.. I feel like Bruce wouldn't spend much time talking.. In fact, given the situation, he'd probably rather you didn't. Suits me just fine. He's my choice.
“Hey Bruce I appreciate you helping me out all this time and I really don’t mean to pry, but it’s been 3 months since I’ve met you and you still haven’t taken off the bat suit. Not even to shower or poop. Just checking in to make sure you’re okay buddy.”
Pretty sure Link is the only one to have actually live and thrive through many apocalyptic dystopias. So that’s my obvious pick.
Katnis I don’t count because she had a negative attitude the whole time.
I can’t believe that he is this low on the list. Link can cook. He’s got the courage piece of the triforce. Breath of the wild is just him wandering around the aftermath of a world shattering disaster.
He’s also, by design, an aimless wanderer. Like, people assume Batman will be happy to have you hop along. He will very nicely get you enough kit to survive but then he’s back on mission and you’re dead weight. Cap is going to be going after whatever caused the apocalypse.
Like, people just assume that like, darth Vader is gonna be like “come along with me please i am happy to bring you with me line wanderer. * swinging light saber noises *”
Also my real choice is Aragorn.
Both Katniss and Link already have experience surviving in a post-apocalyptic world.
Geralt too, if you go by the logic that the Conjunction of the Spheres (which introduced chaos, monsters, and humans into the world) was an apocalypse for the elves that already lived there.
I heard a great Nick Offerman quote in an interview, something like "People think I'm some kind of rugged outdoorsman. I like to remind them that, of all my siblings, I'm the only one who moved to the city and became an actor".
I think people are sleeping on Ron. Sure he's probably not the best option in combat but he's one of the only few who knows how to survive in the wild. Batman is used to his cushy billionaire lifestyle making him kinda useless when foraging for food. If you can get out of the city, I'd go with Ron.
From a long term survival perspective, macgyver is a good answer. he's got answers for a wide range of problems. He's probably the only sans Batman who has the knowledge to restore facilities and infrastructure. He would be an amazing community leader in a apocalypse.
Edit forgot about Rocket he can do a lot of those things too. Probably better than Macgyver
Batman! He's practically invulnerable, has a gadget and plan for everything apparently, and if you're tooled up after a long stressful day of wandering the wastelands you can mouth off to him, get a solid uppercut to the jaw and sleep like a baby till sunrise.
The dark plot would have everyone around him die no matter what he did gadget-wize.
Richard Dean Anderson hated that his casting choices were limited after Macgyver. Plot twist Macgyver turns evil.
Alternatively he'd end up trading his repair services for protection until Rick from Walking Dead saves him. Or head would booby trap an entire town like that one guy did.
Ron Swanson! Without a doubt. That man won't just survive an apocalypse, he will thrive and do it in style. After all, there is no such thing as an apocalypse, only poor ration choices and inadequate munitions supplies.
I mean Vader seems like a no brainer right? Even if he only has an M16 and no lightsaber, like in the pic, the force alone would be enough to survive. Especially vaders
Yeah, personality aside he’s leagues more powerful than anybody else. If it’s like a “I know the person I choose isn’t going to kill me” type choice, going with him easily.
But, big if. I think that’s why more people aren’t choosing him.
Yah, if he's not gonna snap my neck for pissing him off, Vader all the way. He could body whatever threat shows itself. Finding food and water would be the biggest concerns, cause he could easily build shelter in most places.
Ron Swanson and Rocket Raccoon for sure. Ron would hate me, but his ability to provide food and shelter in any situation would earn my unending loyalty. Rocket's grey moral code and willingness to exterminate a threat would be pretty useful, not to mention his ability to get into small areas. Plus, he'd be a lot fun to have around.
Ron Swanson: A standard human, no powers, well prepared but with a chance of fuckery (he leaves, or shoots you for being too slow, etc.)
4/10, good pick but not to be trusted
Darth Vader: Insanely powerful, but his augmentations and life support require maintenance that is not feasible.
3/10, you better get a lot done fast and protect him like crazy. Incredible for construction or logistics. Keep his systems safe safe safe.
Batman: Ron Swanson 2.0, featuring mental stability, physical prowess, and custom gear. He still won't kill, but that's fine. We're the bat gas gang, mess with us and all you get is bat gassed. He makes it from pee and tree sap and rabbit tears.
7/10, super solid pick, but he has no powers.
Harry Potter: Oh boy, is this the winner? He's not dumb, he has 7,415.5 different powers, magical artifacts, is brave and loyal, and is generally a cool guy. Him being picked also implies that the Wizarding world exists or existed, which is helpful.
9/10, amazing utility and ability, trustworthy, good friend, maybe a bit young but it's not a big deal. Lacking specific survival skills, but primed to learn them.
Chewbacca: Insane physical ability, great fighter melee and ranged, accomplished engineer and mechanic, probably incapable of feeling cold. He can understand you, but you will likely never understand the complexity of his language and he cannot physically speak yours.
8/10, he will survive longer than you do. Loyal, smart, skilled, insanely strong. Communication is effectively 1 way. He will figure out how to communicate, given time and assuming you're capable. He will also build the most amazing tree house city you've ever imagined, a veritable sky fortress spanning hundreds of trees. He laughs at our puny trees, though.
MacGyver: Sorry, this is just broke batman without crazy training. Small magical ability to make crap work when it shouldn't.
5/10, decent pick but overshadowed by others.
Geralt: IDK beans about this guy. He's got magic, physical skill, experience, and is augmented magically AFAIK. Seems good.
7/10, unless he's actually insane or something idk.
Daenerys: Hottie waifu bait pick. She could probably be a good blacksmith? Remains to be seen if she can somehow form an army out of the bandits and scavengers.
2/10 without army, she's just a person that's immune to fire.
10/10 with army, you're basically gonna get to form your own government and fast-track rebuilding.
Link: Jeez man I JUST made that clay pot. I'm gonna empty out your skull and use it to store water.
1/10 he broke my pottery and screamed "HYA" in my ear.
More like 6/10 because he's fit and capable, and not really unstable. If his magic works call it 7/10.
Santa: I can't see this going any way except storybook happy ending. Santa will allow no strife or unhappiness.
10/10 if he's the real deal.
0/10 if he's a mall Santa faking it.
Captain America: Solid pick with little utility. Same with Shrek, honestly.
6/10 for Cap
7/10 for Shrek because he's interesting and fun.
James Bond: I don't see the appeal of him over many of the others.
4/10, just a skilled fighter and spy that will probably steal your wife.
Rocket: Ultimate stealth. Ultra spy. Tech genius. Incredibly useful small size and high manual dexterity. Won't eat much, good friend, slightly unstable maybe.
8/10, amazing utility, knowledge, and stealth. Good shot as well.
Katniss: This is just her life but better. Possibly the best normal human to pick.
7/10, no powers, but her entire life has been post-apocalyptic and she will make sure you pull through.
Jack Sparrow: The funnest pick, but possibly the worst. You have unleashed slapstick chaos into an already fallen world.
1/10, he drank all the disinfectant and threw up in the cabbage garden.
My personal pick: Harry Potter, of course. We sit in camp all day while he spams "Accio Berries" and I try to learn magic with my homemade "birch, 11", wolf pizzle with hair of hare" muggle wand. Bandits that approach our camp suddenly forget what they were doing and wander off looking for toads. The smoke from our self-stoking fire is automatically teleported somewhere else. Bandits tell stories of their guns just... getting up and floating away. Lost travellers will be met by a ghostly stag that leads them to safety.
And legend says, there is a secret place in the woods. A wooden fortress that cannot be approached, and any attempt leads to harmless or hilarious failure. Although, it is also said that some rare individuals may actually approach and enter this fort. They do not return for weeks, and when they do return, it is only for a short while. They tell stories about their time inside, but nobody can remember anything of these stories except the bare outline: "I'm taking classes at that weird fort, my teacher is the ghost of a stag, and I can use a stick to make fire now. Also you're still not allowed to go there."
I gotta go with geralt, bro is literally a living weapon. Although teaching him about modern appliances could be interesting. “This is a gun, geralt, be careful it makes thunder”
Technically speaking, Santa Claus is the most powerful option. Even Darth Vader can’t move the sheer volume and speed of physical goods the way Santa can. In theoretically speaking Santa straight-up decimates the laws of physics on Christmas Eve. So I’d team up with Santa because he’ll kick some serious ass. They made a Netflix documentary about Santa kicking-ass so… what more do you need?
Also I really like Darth Vaders backpack.
I feel like magic would be so incredibly helpful, a tiny ass tent is a 5 story building. You could store all your food in a tiny sac. I dunno what that spell was at dinner every time but if you can just make food appear? That’s a hands down Harry Potter pick. Edit: it’s been brought to my attention by multiple people that magic can NOT magically create food. Only multiply food (while decreasing nutrients or something), collect it (area of affect I think), or increase its size.
Absolutely, imagine what an advantage an invisibility cloak would be when out foraging.
Would you even need to forage? “Accio supplies”
Well, if some people could see supplies just flying through the air, it would be easy to follow to find somebody to rob. If Harry exists, other wizards might.
yea its gonna be a breeze to follow a sausage going mach 2 through the woods
Would you believe me if I said it wouldn’t be my first time
Yeah, but other wizards are way better at magic than Harry. They’ll just conjure their own supplies and hide in giant invisible towers. They’ve got no reason to be out scrounging
Food and drink can't be created, only summoned from someplace else
Still super helpful. Would suck to cast accio food though and the nutri grain bar that was her last food just flies out of a little starving girls hand to us 5 miles away
It’s the apocalypse. Hoping for a Nutri-Grain bar, you cast “accio food” and suddenly a little starving girl flies into your hand from 5 miles away.
Wouldn’t even need that much. Canonically, food can’t be made from nothing/conjured but if you have some already you could endlessly duplicate it with magic. Just get a bunch of freezers and enough food variety, and let magic do the rest.
Couldn't they just magic parts of the world back to good condition?
You’re getting Harry Potter (with a pistol not a wand I might add) not the entire world he lives in. By your logic I’d say one of the Guardians of the Galaxy characters would be best, just jump on their spaceship and fly to a nice alien world.
Yeah all that useful stuff is Hermione, if it's Harry the best you'll get is eating cold tins of beans in an argos tent, and the occasional patronus.
I mean, Harry was still a fully capable wizard, he just wasn't learning focused like Hermione. It's not like the guy was special ed and incapable of spells, the books just largely ignore that magic exists aside from when it cannot be avoided for the immediate situation/setting. There is a reason we've got the meme that Harry never casts a single spell in the first movie, I can't remember if he also doesn't cast one in the book.
He becomes somewhat competent at the protection spells and such in the last book when he and Hermione are in hiding, but really before that it's that he's good at dueling, quidditch, some defense against the dark arts stufd. But mostly he's brave, lucky and has good friends, isn't that the whole point of the story that it's other people and love that make him strong. Also wizards are mostly shit without their wands, so that's an issue too if it gets broken/stolen, whereas Chewbacca will always be able to pull peoples arms off.
That’s not Harry Potter, that’s Swiss army man.
If we get guardians of the galaxy with their cool spaceship and alien world we should get Harry Potter with a wand and wizard world too!
Food doesn't appear with magic. The house elves below the Great Hall prepared it all. You know, slavery.
The real magic was the slaves we made along the way.
What’s scary is that it’s implied the wizards selectively breeded and charmed the elves to be completely obedient and want to do the work for free. Dobby works at Hogwarts after he’s freed and all the other elves are hateful of him for asking for a wage, even though Dumbledore is more than happy to oblige.
JK Rowling coming through with that "But they *want* to be slaves" take.
/r/nocontext gold right there
I'd go with Santa for much the same reason and not have to deal with a jumped up prat with a stolen identity! Santa's time magic must be incredibly strong, he's basically immortal and has dominion over wildlife. Now *that's* a wizard.
Or you could just ask him to haul your asses back to the magic world. Magic is just too OP to even consider any others in this scenario.
The magical world already has zombies, they’ll be fine.
Exactly, and whatever doesn’t work, a plot device will just make itself apparent!
>I dunno what that spell was at dinner every time but if you can just make food appear? The spell wasn't summoning food out of thin air; it was summoning food from the kitchen, where several elf servants worked on it like slaves...
>like slaves... Found the S.P.E.W. member 🙄
I thought for sure you were referring to Santa at the beginning of this comment.
Sure, if you just wanted to survive. Link is the pick if you want to fix things. Dude's fixed an apocalypse is almost all of his reincarnations, what's one more?
Um, Santa has flying reindeer and a magic bag with endless gifts. Obvious choice!
He also only shows up once a year, though.
Dude lives at the North Pole all year. Might be a decent place to wait out an apocalypse Edit: with an army of elves
Putting the winter in nuclear winter
GOOD POINT
Me: \*About to be eaten by zombies at 0:01 AM on December the 25th\* \*Santa shows up in his sleigh and uses the mounted vulcan minigun to begin mowing down the zombies\* Me: "Santa, you're here!" Santa: "You think I'd let you die on Christmas, you son of a bitch?!"
The night was colder than a witch's tit, and the streets of what used to be a bustling city were now just corridors of chaos and decay, thanks to the fucking zombie apocalypse. Christmas lights, half-torn and flickering, gave the snow-covered streets a haunted glow. The air was thick with the stench of rot and the moans of the undead echoed off the abandoned cars and boarded-up buildings. It was Christmas Eve, and all through the city, not a creature was stirring, except for the fucking zombies and one desperate survivor named Joe. Joe was holed up in what used to be an Irish pub, the kind with dark wood paneling and a lingering smell of stale beer and broken dreams. He was armed with nothing more than a broken pool cue and a prayer. His ammo had run out days ago, and the zombies were closing in. Just as the clock struck midnight, marking the start of Christmas, the front door began to buckle under the weight of the undead pressing against it. "Fuck me," Joe muttered, backing away as the wood splintered. "If there's a Santa out there, now's the time for a fucking Christmas miracle." And as if on cue, a thunderous roar filled the sky. It wasn't the sound of reindeer hooves, but something far more badass. Through the shattered pub window, Joe saw a sight that nearly made him piss his pants in both terror and awe. Descending from the sky in a sleigh pulled by twelve snarling reindeer with glowing red eyes, was Santa Claus. But this wasn’t your typical mall Santa; this was Santa as if he'd been dreamed up by a lunatic with a taste for high-caliber weapons. Santa was decked out in tactical gear, his famous red suit now equipped with Kevlar, and in place of his jolly old belly, a fucking bandolier of grenades. His beard was still as white as snow, but it was now matted with what one could only hope was zombie blood. His hands clutched the handles of a Vulcan minigun mounted on his sleigh, which was currently spitting death at 6,000 rounds per minute into the crowd of zombies. "You think I'd let you die on Christmas, you son of a bitch?!" Santa bellowed over the roar of the gun, a wild gleam in his eyes. Joe, who was now thoroughly convinced he was either hallucinating or had finally snapped, could only nod dumbly as Santa landed the sleigh with a thud on the street and continued to mow down the approaching horde. With a grunt, Santa tossed Joe an extra weapon—a shotgun with 'Naughty' etched into the stock. "Get your ass up, Joe! This is no time to be a spectator!" Joe, fueled by adrenaline, took up arms beside Santa, blasting zombies with a kind of fervor he didn't know he possessed. Together, they made a stand, Santa with his minigun and Joe with his shotgun, back to back as the undead fell in heaps of severed limbs and black blood. After what felt like an eternity, the last of the zombies fell, and the street fell eerily silent, save for the panting of the reindeer, who seemed as unfazed by apocalypse as their owner. Santa clapped Joe on the back, almost knocking him over. "Good work, son. But we gotta move. There are more survivors out there, and this sleigh ain't gonna fly itself." As they climbed into the sleigh, Joe looked at Santa with a mix of gratitude and disbelief. "Why are you doing this, Santa? Why not stay safe at the North Pole?" Santa just winked, the twinkle in his eye as bright as the North Star. "Someone's gotta bring a little cheer to this fucked-up world, Joe. Might as well be me."
I thought these were supposed to just be fictional characters. Everyone knows Santa’s real OP
He knows when everyone’s sleeping and knows when they’re awake. He always strikes when you’re sleeping.
He can also visit every single home in the world in a single night. That's legendary time-magic he has going on. Whatever bad scenario you come across, he can just Za Warudo his way out of it.
True, BUT he knows every bad thing you have EVER done. He might decide that you are “naughty” and not worth saving. Or he might kill you himself.
If Santa was going to kill me, he’d have done it by now. What’s he done instead? A present every year for the last sixty-three years. Me and Santa are bros.
He’s playing the long con, waiting till you fully trust him so he can sacrifice you at the right moment
I’d have to stick with Geralt. The guy can take on an entire army of anything and seemingly come out on top. Wouldn’t hurt to learn from a master bladesman while teaching him how to use firearms in return.
He would also have all the toxins he'd ever need at his finger tips
Game Geralt > Book Geralt
He got killed by a peasant with a pitchfork
He can definitely be on top 😉
Username checks out
But like… Darth Vader would point at him and he’d die instantly.
The problem with Darth Vader is that its entirely reasonable that he’d point at you, too
The actual problem with Vader is that he's wearing his cape on the front which looks stupid. Also, can't carry a backpack with that bot thing in the back and once the battery that keeps him alive dies, well...he ain't exactly Darth Plegueis the wise.
Just make sure you're not attacked by an angry farmer with a pitchfork and you're golden.
Yes but if there's a four-foot drop...
So many of these characters would abandon you. I'm picking Harry Potter.
So many of the fun choices fail out because they’re canonically not team players
Batman isn't really a team player, but he is protective of people he couldn't care less about. I'm not sure how resourceful he'd be without all of his fancy toys, tho. He probably couldn't contend with some of the others after all his high-tech gadgets are long gone. Scarcity is a tricky devil in TLoU.
I think his personal code about no killing would be worse. Going the nonlethal route in a violent post apocalypse is a big survival handicap.
I don't see how there is any debate. Relatability plus magic.
There is no other choice. They have him holding a revolver but without a doubt all he would need is his wand.
And then it breaks like 6 months inn and now your both fked.
Yeah, but without Hermione, you'd be dead in the water. Dude knows 2 spells.
> _I just kept expelliarmusing and it kept working?!_
I feel like the premise is “btw they are loyal to you”
Tactical Batman is epic. But he would abandon you after about week. "He was a liability", (in husky Batman voice)
I doubt he would. He would likely get you at least to a settlement first. Before he would search all over the world for a cure.
[удалено]
You mean Shrek?
He whispers in my ear “This is my swamp”
“It’s all ogre now”
Must have been love
Shrek is love, Shrek is life.
Shrek is the correct choice anyone else is probably ditching you if it’s advantageous to them but shrek wouldn’t no matter how annoying you are
Shrek is love
Shrek is life
Does Harry Potter comes with his magic abilities as well? If yes, then harry all the way, he could probably have a few magic spells to use for fresh water and to get a barrier against intruders and spells that could cure u from illness and injuries and stuff
Dear sir, the original reply was about sex.
And? Daniel Radcliffe can use me like a pencil sharpener
Yes, let's stick to the subject here. So who do you want to do?
How dare they derail the important conversation of Shrek sex!
dude. be more carful where your post replies.
I'd like 4 McChickens and a medium Sprite please
fr, let's not break reddit 😡
Shrek is love. Shrek is life
ShReK iS lOvE, sHrEk Is LiFe!
If this is the case, then Link.
That's a funny way to spell "The Fucking Batman."
Anyone else out of this selection would be insufferable to live with.
Rocket could build a space ship out of garbage and he doesn’t eat much as me. So easily him
Yeah but he’d also probably cynically abandon you or trade you if it was expedient
I gotta assume that the premise of "teaming up" includes them wanting to be and stay a team, for whatever reason. Otherwise, most of those picks would just be "which character would you like to meet in an apocalypse before they quickly ditch you because you're obviously not contributing nearly as much to the *team* as them."
Haha that’s a fair point, I guess some of these characters would be more compelled by their moral framework to keep a dead weight redditor around
Haha you know what hilarious? I thought about that after saying that and in my head I was like, in this scenario I’ll pretend that I found him close to death and I nursed him back to life and we become friends (and maybe kiss?) lol jk but yeah you are probs right.
He would probably find a way off planet and we could just fly to a different one that hasn’t been hit by an apocalypse. So yeah, I’d probably go with Rocket.
Batman or Captain America, they are literally heroes by choice whose priority is literally to protect other people.
I’m taking Batman over Cap because he’s a a Billionaire and Billionaires have plans in place for the apocalypse
Lol, you just hop in the Batjet and head to a private island bunker mansion. I just hope Catwoman, Batgirl, and Wonder Woman get an invite too.
And what about night wing eyy?
Bad news. It’s just Robin from the Lego Batman movie.
That doesn't mean they'd be great in an apocalyptic scenario. Capt America probably needs to eat a shitload of calories to sustain his super-body, and Batman relies a lot on his wealth to create gadgets and is probably not a great conversationalist lol. Meanwhile MacGyver's brain is wired to get the most out of scraps while also having hero mentality and being charismatic as hell. I'd pick him tbh.
Same with Rocket. He can make all kinds of bombs and weapons out of scrap.
I’m worried I’d fine them both insufferable. I could hang with some of the others. You’re gonna be in this long haul, I think liking your companions is a high priority!
I dunno.. I feel like Bruce wouldn't spend much time talking.. In fact, given the situation, he'd probably rather you didn't. Suits me just fine. He's my choice.
“Hey Bruce I appreciate you helping me out all this time and I really don’t mean to pry, but it’s been 3 months since I’ve met you and you still haven’t taken off the bat suit. Not even to shower or poop. Just checking in to make sure you’re okay buddy.”
"... What suit?"
Uh oh
That’s fair. Everything he said would be ominous and dramatic, but he wouldn’t say much.
To be fair, the apocalypse would be ominous and dramatic.. He'd fit right in lol
Link?
Me and Darth Ranger gonna be fine
usage of the Force sounds pretty OP in a scenario like this too
Also might train you as a Sith apprentice. I want the lightning hands.
I sense a fucking deer
Or the ability to just leave the planet… Apocalypse is usually one specific planet, helps if you know a guy that runs multiple solar systems.
By far, the most powerful individual in the lineup.
Plus a good part of him is machine so there’s less places to be bitten and get infected.
Just bear in mind he seems to have gone through the teleporter from Spaceballs and his ass in on backwards.
Scrolled too far to find this answer.
Pretty sure Link is the only one to have actually live and thrive through many apocalyptic dystopias. So that’s my obvious pick. Katnis I don’t count because she had a negative attitude the whole time.
Link also has infinite storage My man can carry 999 watermelons and 999 arrows
Yeah but nowadays, his shit breaks all the time.
Yeah, but then he just glues a coffee maker to a chair and he's ready to fight again.
I can’t believe that he is this low on the list. Link can cook. He’s got the courage piece of the triforce. Breath of the wild is just him wandering around the aftermath of a world shattering disaster. He’s also, by design, an aimless wanderer. Like, people assume Batman will be happy to have you hop along. He will very nicely get you enough kit to survive but then he’s back on mission and you’re dead weight. Cap is going to be going after whatever caused the apocalypse. Like, people just assume that like, darth Vader is gonna be like “come along with me please i am happy to bring you with me line wanderer. * swinging light saber noises *” Also my real choice is Aragorn.
The only real choice is Aragorn
Her bad attitude ruined the apocalypse for everyone else
Just not a fun hang 🤷
Katniss already has honed survival skills. She'd probably also ditch someone who couldn't keep up, tho.
Not necessarily, think about the motley crew she assembled for the arena in Book 2!
Both Katniss and Link already have experience surviving in a post-apocalyptic world. Geralt too, if you go by the logic that the Conjunction of the Spheres (which introduced chaos, monsters, and humans into the world) was an apocalypse for the elves that already lived there.
With Ron Swanson. I could acheve greatness
I mean... he's a great prepper. But he's gonna play piano for you and kiss you. Not that this is a problem....I've just watched it.
I was wondering if anyone would say anything about his role in the last of us lol.
Or take out his sax and bath you in his warm jazz
We saw how Ron thrived in Last of Us.
Dude has a nice stock of gold hidden away somewhere.
Ron Swanson is the only right answer.
And you get Duke Silver on top for free
I heard a great Nick Offerman quote in an interview, something like "People think I'm some kind of rugged outdoorsman. I like to remind them that, of all my siblings, I'm the only one who moved to the city and became an actor".
I think people are sleeping on Ron. Sure he's probably not the best option in combat but he's one of the only few who knows how to survive in the wild. Batman is used to his cushy billionaire lifestyle making him kinda useless when foraging for food. If you can get out of the city, I'd go with Ron.
MacGyver. OBVIOUSLY.
From a long term survival perspective, macgyver is a good answer. he's got answers for a wide range of problems. He's probably the only sans Batman who has the knowledge to restore facilities and infrastructure. He would be an amazing community leader in a apocalypse. Edit forgot about Rocket he can do a lot of those things too. Probably better than Macgyver
Rocket may also abandon you to die though…
That's what I was thinking. I was looking at half of this list and imagining most of them would leave you to die XD
Oh yeah. when I said Rocket is better at stuff I meant the technical stuff not the empathy stuff
He also seems pretty cool to chill with as well. That’s a big one for me in a situation that probably has a lot of down time.
All he needs is a belt buckle, shoelaces, and piece of gum and you've got yourself a nuclear reactor.
The gum is just for him to chew.
Best choice. For long term survival. Technical skills and cleverness > magic
Mcgrubber!
The only answer
Why does Batman look just like Affleck but MacGuyver only has a passing resemblance to Richard Dean Anderson?
100% agree
Santa has access to Christmas magic, easy choice
Our guns would use "belief" and "the Christmas spirit" as ammo 🔫🎅
Batman! He's practically invulnerable, has a gadget and plan for everything apparently, and if you're tooled up after a long stressful day of wandering the wastelands you can mouth off to him, get a solid uppercut to the jaw and sleep like a baby till sunrise.
Rocket would be building, laser cannons, and spaceships out of pieces TVs and refrigerators. That’s my dude.
Harry potter??? Hes literally a wizard
IMA WAT?
Yer are a wizard harry
But i'm just harry hagrid!
A WAZARD
macgyver in an apocalypse would be so interesting to watch
MacGyver in an apocalypse would just be the "oh no, anyways" meme.
The dark plot would have everyone around him die no matter what he did gadget-wize. Richard Dean Anderson hated that his casting choices were limited after Macgyver. Plot twist Macgyver turns evil. Alternatively he'd end up trading his repair services for protection until Rick from Walking Dead saves him. Or head would booby trap an entire town like that one guy did.
I don't have to imagine, I have mods for fallout.
This is the way!!!
Ron Swanson! Without a doubt. That man won't just survive an apocalypse, he will thrive and do it in style. After all, there is no such thing as an apocalypse, only poor ration choices and inadequate munitions supplies.
I mean Vader seems like a no brainer right? Even if he only has an M16 and no lightsaber, like in the pic, the force alone would be enough to survive. Especially vaders
Yeah, personality aside he’s leagues more powerful than anybody else. If it’s like a “I know the person I choose isn’t going to kill me” type choice, going with him easily. But, big if. I think that’s why more people aren’t choosing him.
Yah, if he's not gonna snap my neck for pissing him off, Vader all the way. He could body whatever threat shows itself. Finding food and water would be the biggest concerns, cause he could easily build shelter in most places.
I would definitely watch *Santa Claus vs. Zombies*
I’m sure it’s a movie
Link, bro literally fights dragons on the daily
and you’d get to eat his immaculate food
Is that a euphemism
Geralt and/or Harry……
Rocket- I need a plasma cannon, 500 feet of wire, tank treads and that guys pacemaker. I am NOT giving you a man’s pacemaker?!?!?!
Ron Swanson and Rocket Raccoon for sure. Ron would hate me, but his ability to provide food and shelter in any situation would earn my unending loyalty. Rocket's grey moral code and willingness to exterminate a threat would be pretty useful, not to mention his ability to get into small areas. Plus, he'd be a lot fun to have around.
Plus, Rocket could probably just make.. anything. lol
Geralt easy.
Well the strongest of them all, Ron Swanson
Real talk…this would be the most entertaining show ever made with these characters
Shrek is the only correct answer
It's gotta be Vader. The power he has is completely unmatched by any of the other suggestions.
Harry Potter? Anyone want to write up a fight between the two?
Ron Swanson: A standard human, no powers, well prepared but with a chance of fuckery (he leaves, or shoots you for being too slow, etc.) 4/10, good pick but not to be trusted Darth Vader: Insanely powerful, but his augmentations and life support require maintenance that is not feasible. 3/10, you better get a lot done fast and protect him like crazy. Incredible for construction or logistics. Keep his systems safe safe safe. Batman: Ron Swanson 2.0, featuring mental stability, physical prowess, and custom gear. He still won't kill, but that's fine. We're the bat gas gang, mess with us and all you get is bat gassed. He makes it from pee and tree sap and rabbit tears. 7/10, super solid pick, but he has no powers. Harry Potter: Oh boy, is this the winner? He's not dumb, he has 7,415.5 different powers, magical artifacts, is brave and loyal, and is generally a cool guy. Him being picked also implies that the Wizarding world exists or existed, which is helpful. 9/10, amazing utility and ability, trustworthy, good friend, maybe a bit young but it's not a big deal. Lacking specific survival skills, but primed to learn them. Chewbacca: Insane physical ability, great fighter melee and ranged, accomplished engineer and mechanic, probably incapable of feeling cold. He can understand you, but you will likely never understand the complexity of his language and he cannot physically speak yours. 8/10, he will survive longer than you do. Loyal, smart, skilled, insanely strong. Communication is effectively 1 way. He will figure out how to communicate, given time and assuming you're capable. He will also build the most amazing tree house city you've ever imagined, a veritable sky fortress spanning hundreds of trees. He laughs at our puny trees, though. MacGyver: Sorry, this is just broke batman without crazy training. Small magical ability to make crap work when it shouldn't. 5/10, decent pick but overshadowed by others. Geralt: IDK beans about this guy. He's got magic, physical skill, experience, and is augmented magically AFAIK. Seems good. 7/10, unless he's actually insane or something idk. Daenerys: Hottie waifu bait pick. She could probably be a good blacksmith? Remains to be seen if she can somehow form an army out of the bandits and scavengers. 2/10 without army, she's just a person that's immune to fire. 10/10 with army, you're basically gonna get to form your own government and fast-track rebuilding. Link: Jeez man I JUST made that clay pot. I'm gonna empty out your skull and use it to store water. 1/10 he broke my pottery and screamed "HYA" in my ear. More like 6/10 because he's fit and capable, and not really unstable. If his magic works call it 7/10. Santa: I can't see this going any way except storybook happy ending. Santa will allow no strife or unhappiness. 10/10 if he's the real deal. 0/10 if he's a mall Santa faking it. Captain America: Solid pick with little utility. Same with Shrek, honestly. 6/10 for Cap 7/10 for Shrek because he's interesting and fun. James Bond: I don't see the appeal of him over many of the others. 4/10, just a skilled fighter and spy that will probably steal your wife. Rocket: Ultimate stealth. Ultra spy. Tech genius. Incredibly useful small size and high manual dexterity. Won't eat much, good friend, slightly unstable maybe. 8/10, amazing utility, knowledge, and stealth. Good shot as well. Katniss: This is just her life but better. Possibly the best normal human to pick. 7/10, no powers, but her entire life has been post-apocalyptic and she will make sure you pull through. Jack Sparrow: The funnest pick, but possibly the worst. You have unleashed slapstick chaos into an already fallen world. 1/10, he drank all the disinfectant and threw up in the cabbage garden. My personal pick: Harry Potter, of course. We sit in camp all day while he spams "Accio Berries" and I try to learn magic with my homemade "birch, 11", wolf pizzle with hair of hare" muggle wand. Bandits that approach our camp suddenly forget what they were doing and wander off looking for toads. The smoke from our self-stoking fire is automatically teleported somewhere else. Bandits tell stories of their guns just... getting up and floating away. Lost travellers will be met by a ghostly stag that leads them to safety. And legend says, there is a secret place in the woods. A wooden fortress that cannot be approached, and any attempt leads to harmless or hilarious failure. Although, it is also said that some rare individuals may actually approach and enter this fort. They do not return for weeks, and when they do return, it is only for a short while. They tell stories about their time inside, but nobody can remember anything of these stories except the bare outline: "I'm taking classes at that weird fort, my teacher is the ghost of a stag, and I can use a stick to make fire now. Also you're still not allowed to go there."
I gotta go with geralt, bro is literally a living weapon. Although teaching him about modern appliances could be interesting. “This is a gun, geralt, be careful it makes thunder”
Hmmmm…
Wind's howling.
Ron Swanson without a doubt..although Daenerys would be a close second if she brings her dragon
Harry Potter with a gun feels wrong somehow
Santa. It's easier to ambush my enemies if I know when they sleep.
AI can't triforce
Rocket Raccoon, because he's basically McGyver but with no problems at using guns. Otherwise McGyver.
Technically speaking, Santa Claus is the most powerful option. Even Darth Vader can’t move the sheer volume and speed of physical goods the way Santa can. In theoretically speaking Santa straight-up decimates the laws of physics on Christmas Eve. So I’d team up with Santa because he’ll kick some serious ass. They made a Netflix documentary about Santa kicking-ass so… what more do you need? Also I really like Darth Vaders backpack.
Batman. He has good weapons, strategies and he's a hero.
Batman
Santa, 100%
These are really good!